Chapter 77 I don't own Merlin. The story at the end of the last chapter was made up by me using the fourth cycle of the Mabinogi and some other Celtic/Welsh mythology as inspiration. Not really sure if it was any good or not, but I kinda liked it.
"Mor?" Cassie whispered in surprise when she opened the door. "What do you need?"
"Hello to you too, Cassie." he said with an incredulous look, pretending to not notice her tearstained face. "May I come in?"
"Yes, of course. Just be quiet, the boys are asleep." Cassie said, stepping aside and letting him in.
"The boys?" he asked, smiling as he pictured her with her own children someday.
"Yes, Urien and Morrigan got Aldith and Col to bring them up here for the day." Cassie replied tiredly.
"Right, this isn't a good time, then. I'll get someone to bring up dinner for the three of you later." he said, nodding slightly and walking back towards the door.
"Okay, thank you." Cassie said, watching him close the door behind him and stifling a groan as the boys woke up at the sound. "Did you sleep well?" she asked with a fake jolly voice, a smile plastered on her face as she went over to the candles and started to light them.
"Yes! This bed is soo soft, and it's..." Alex said, chattering away happily while Cassie went over to pick up his brother and sit by the table.
"We can have dinner and then I'll take you back to your parents." Cassie said sweetly, bouncing the babbling baby on her knee while Alex chattered happily with her.
"Dinner, my Lady." Sarah said, placing the plates on the table and curtsying deeply. " Would you like anything else?"
" No, thank you. That will be all, Sarah. Good night." Cassie said, taking the bowl of crushed plums and feeding the baby while she told Alex to eat.
"I miss Owaine." Alex said softly when he finished his food, innocently looking at her.
"I do too, darling." Cassie said softly, hoping he'd stop talking about that and go back to describing how he and Dicun spent their days.
"But he's with my parents, right?" he kept on. "I remember you said that they'd go to a place full of love and happiness. Is he happy?"
"Yes, Alex. Owaine is very happy in Annwfn." Cassie answered, doing all she could to not break down crying at that moment. "Let me change Taran and then we can go down to the village. You can take that home with you for your parents if you want, I'm not hungry." she said, taking the baby over to the wash basin and washing him before wrapping him up in a cloth diaper and putting his rough tunic back on, knowing she would make a softer gown for him that would last him a while. With help. "Come, dear. Let's go. Your par- Aldith and Col are probably missing you." Cassie said, correcting herself before calling them his parents as she didn't know if he called them that or not.
"I had fun with you today, Cassie. Can we do this again tomorrow?" he asked, taking her hand and walking with her down to the village.
"I'm sorry, Alex. I think Dicun missed you today. It was probably rather dull without you. Go on, he's waiting for you." Cassie told him softly, shaking his hand before letting go and gently pushing him forward.
"The day after?" he asked brightly. Looking up at her as he walked backwards.
"We'll see. Go on, he's waiting."
"Bye, Cassie!" he said, hugging her tightly and running over to his friend.
"My Lady." Col greeted when he opened the door, bowing slightly and stepping aside.
"Hello, Col. Thank you for letting me spend the day with your children." Cassie said, handing the fussy baby to his father.
"It was the least we could do, my Lady. It is because of you, after all, that we have them. Adalberto tells us that you are also to thank for something else." he said with an excited smile. "Aldith is with child!"
"I'm happy for you, Col." Cassie said, feigning excitement at the news while her heart ached for her own child. "Truly. I am a little tired, however. Give Aldith my congratulations, please."
"Of course Lady Cassie. You can come back whenever to see Alex and Taran." he told her, holding the door open and smiling widely.
"Thank you, Col. Have a good evening." Cassie said, holding her head up and walking away until she was far enough away to break down without anyone seeing. She ran to the greenhouse and into the rotunda, locked the doors magically and slid down a wall to cry into her knees, her sniffles and sobs filling the silence as she did so. Cassie cried harder than she had since they told her she lost her baby, her body shaking and her magic rising up in her veins. She had to grip her hands tight to control the rise in her magic, so tight that she drew blood and hissed from the sting.
"Cassie? Shh, you're okay, Cassie. You're okay." a soft voice said, coming around the corner and getting down next to her, hugging her close and wrapping some fabric around her palms. "You're fine, Cassie. Just breathe. In and out." she whispered, rubbing soothing circles on the girl's back.
"I-I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come here." Cassie said through breathless sobs. "I'll go."
"Please don't go, Cass. You're my friend, I'm worried about you." Alys told her, rubbing soothing circles on her back and adjusting herself to get more comfortable. "What's wrong? Why are you crying like this?"
"I don't want to talk about it." she sobbed out, trying to control her crying in front of her sister-in-law.
"Maybe talking about it will help?" Alys suggested gently, continuing to rub soothing circles on Cassie's back.
"Please don't make me talk about it." Cassie said, burying her head in her knees and continuing to cry, only more silently now.
"Okay, don't talk. Let me sit with you. Just cry, Cassie." she said soothingly, taking her shoulders and making Cassie lean back and against Alys. "We all loved him. He was an amazing man. I remember when we first met, he was such a flirt. Shameful, really, but we all knew it was joking. We- Mor and I- we were only just beginning to court and Owaine helped us to hide from Morrigan and Urien. He helped us when Morrigan was going to catch us in the pond. He always helped us out, he was such a good brother. When we first heard about you from Pell, the first thought that popped into my head was that you had to have been beautiful. The second was that he was really laying the flirting on thick for you. He really loved you, Cassie. It was so obvious. The way he looked at you when you were married, I've never seen that adoration on him before, and it's the only way he ever looked at you. Cassie, it's going to be fine eventually, just let it all out." Alys whispered consolingly, sitting there with Cassie while she cried for about a half an hour.
"I'm really sorry about this, Alys." Cassie said embarrassedly, wiping her tears away with the back of her hand and moving away from her.
"Don't, Cassie. Don't be sorry for grieving, and don't be embarrassed. We all love you, and we're not going to leave you alone. Please, just trust us, grieve with us." Alsy told her softly, using her thumb to wipe at the tears falling down Cassie's face.
"I los-I-I just need to be alone." Cassie stammered out, feeling guilty about not being able to open up to her.
"I understand." Alys said softly, smiling sweetly. "You know where to find me. At any time."
"Yeah." Cassie whispered, looking away awkwardly and wiping the tears away.
"C-can you help me up? I-I'm kind of stuck." Alys asked after a few unsuccessful attempts to get up.
"Yes, sorry." Cassie answered, standing up and helping her to her feet gently. "Sorry."
"Stop apologizing, Cassie. I shouldn't have sat like that anyways. I haven't been able to get up after sitting on a chair, let alone the floor, unaided. Katherine practically fell over in a fit of laughter this morning." Alys answered, squeezing her hand slightly. "Let's go, we both need some sleep."
"I'm not tired." Cassie answered, trying to pull her hand out of Alys's grasp without seeming rude.
"Well I am, and Mor would be very angry if I walked back alone." she said, holding tighter. "Walk with me?"
"Okay, I'll walk with you." Cassie relented, her eyes glowing and the locks unlatching simultaneously. "I'm sorry. I forget." she said when Alys winced.
"No it's not that, just a slight pain. I saw Leo use his magic all the time." she said, walking with her towards her temporary chambers.
"Where, how long?" Cassie asked worriedly, ignoring her comment.
"Lower back, I've just been laying down too long, going crazy, I needed a walk." she answered with a deep breath.
"Alys, I think you are in labor." Cassie told her, stopping in the middle of the corridor and looking strangely at her sister.
"Don't be dramatic, Cassie. I think I'd know if I was in labor." Alys said, rolling her eyes surreptitiously.
"Well, if you say so. But don't go walking around alone anymore, you could go into labor at any moment." Cassie told her seriously, resuming their walk towards Alys's chambers. "Have a- get some rest, Alys." Cassie said, trying to smile genuinely, though it looked more like a grimace than anything.
"You too, Cassie." she said, smiling patiently at her. "Good night."
"I can't find Cassie!" Ellie said breathlessly as she entered Mor and Alys's chambers. "She's not in her room, and she's not out by the pond or in the gardens, I don't know where else to look."
"I am not having this baby without her. Find her!" Alys growled, breathing heavily.
"I'll take the North wing, you'll take the South?" Katherine told her husband, handing her children over to her parents and leaving with him to search.
"I think I might know where she is." Morrigan said after a few minutes. "Don't worry sweetheart, she'll be here." she added, kissing Alys's forehead and squeezing her hand reassuringly.
"Thank you." Alys breathed out wearily, closing her eyes and breathing through another contraction.
"Cassie? I know you're here, Alys needs you right now. She's in labor. Come out, Cassie." Morrigan called out gently in the antechamber to the marriage chamber, walking behind the screen to find the young blonde holding her knees to her chest on the floor.
"Oh, okay. I'll go."
"Cassie, this isn't a healthy way to grieve. You're almost quite literally crying your eyes out, they're so puffy." she said softly, sitting next to her on the floor and taking her hand.
"I was just thinking. Remembering, I was so happy, Morrigan. I thought I'd never lose him, that I could only get happier." Cassie said quietly, closing her eyes and taking deep breaths to compose herself.
"I know. I could see it in your eyes that day. You know what else I saw? I saw strength beyond your years, you lost so much, you had to grow up so fast, yet you weren't jaded. And you love with all your heart. You will love again, and you will be happy again. You just need time. But Alys needs you right now. She and her child need you. Come." Morrigan told her, holding her hand out and smiling encouragingly.
"Yeah." Cassie whispered to herself, accepting her mother-in-law's hand and letting her pull her up.
They walked quickly back to Alys's chamber and Cassie immediately went to Alys's bedside, muttering in Spanish to Adalberto and pressing down gently on Alys's womb.
"How far along are the contractions?" Cassie asked Alys and Morvydd.
"I don't know." Alys said while everyone gathered around, looking to Adalberto nervously.
"Don't be nervous, Alys. Look at me and breathe." Cassie said, nodding while Adalberto muttered everything she needed to know. "Are you comfortable with everyone here?"
"Yes." she said, smiling at Morrigan and Urien and closing her eyes and groaning as another contraction hit.
"Okay." Cassie said to herself, looking around at them and asking them to move to the head of the bed before lifting Alys's legs and checking the dilation. "You're not ready to push yet. Another hour or so before you can. Drink some water." Cassie told her, nodding to Morvydd and getting up. "I need to go to my chambers and get my medical bag. I'll be back quickly."
"Please hurry." Alys said, grimacing in pain and breathing in sharply.
Cassie ran to her room and closed the door quickly, rummaging around until she found the soft leather bag before grabbing it and checking that she had all she needed, including the pain potions. Seeing that she had everything she needed, she took a deep breath and turned around to leave again, but hesitated and went back to the table where a few books were strewn about, flipping through the pages of the one she'd been reading and taking the slip of paper Gildas had given her.
"Íc i āhāte, bewerigend þæm stántorre, becum ed underiernan." ( I call on you, keeper of the tower, to come and aid me.) Cassie read aloud, using her magic to call him to where she was and jumping slightly a minute later when he whispered boo behind her. "You scared me!" Cassie said, shoving him in fright.
"Sorry, I couldn't help it. What do you need?"
"My sister-in-law is giving birth and I've never delivered without the aid of magic."
"Well, your magic's back, you practically yelled at me to come with the amount of power you imbued in the spell." he said, crossing his arms.
"Well, can you please stay, come if I ask you?"
"I'm not good at healing magic. My magic is much better when dealing with elemental magic. Or phrenic magic."
"Then how did you heal me?"
"I didn't, you healed yourself, I just gave you the incantation."
"I felt it."
"If I was at all good at healing magic, you would be feeling much better right now. You wouldn't have called me." he pointed out.
"Look, will you stay or not?" Cassie asked him in annoyance. "I need your answer now, she's in labor."
"I'll stay, but the most I can do is lend you some magic, I won't be able to do any more. I really am rubbish at healing." he said, taking her hand and closing his eyes, muttering something under his breath and guiding his magic into her.
"That's- that's really heady." Cassie breathed out, swaying slightly at the foreign magic she felt running through her veins.
"Yes, I know. It'll last at most five hours, I suggest you go now. Do you mind if I rest here? The spell is exhausting?"
"Sure, go ahead." Cassie said with a shake of her head, going to the door and throwing it open, turning around and telling him to have some wine if he wanted.
"What took you so long?" Katherine demanded when Cassie walked back into the room.
"I needed to make sure I had everything." Cassie answered patiently, taking Adalberto's place at the foot of the bed and checking the dilation quickly. "Not yet, Alys. you're barely dilated. I'm afraid you're going to be here for a while."
"Okay." she said, panting in exhaustion and leaning her head back and closing her eyes.
"It's best to let her get as much rest as she can." Cassie said softly to everyone else, "Traiga más agua por favor, Sarah."
"Your daughter's looking for you, my Lady." Sarah said to Katherine when she got back carrying both buckets of water in with her.
"I'll be right back, sister." Katherine said, kissing Alys's forehead and walking out the door with hurried footsteps.
"How many births have you attended, Cassie?" Harold asked curiously a good fifteen minutes later from the other side of the big chambers.
"Upwards of 80. Why?"
"Just wondering." he answered quickly, a little too quickly.
"Katherine?"
"She's just worried, she means nothing of it." he said quickly, amending his error. "She wondered how experienced someone as young as you would be."
"Certainly not quite as experienced as Adalberto." Cassie joked in a quiet voice, trying to seem like nothing was wrong. "But I am good at it. There's nothing to worry about. I've had one of the whitesmith's forge instruments I've designed myself. Alys is in safe hands."
"I never doubted that, my Lady." he said with a shake of his head as he looked at Alys.
"Just Katherine, right?" Cassie said softly. "She's rousing, excuse me." she said, going over to Alys and checking her over once more. "Not yet, Alys. a while longer."
"How much longer?" she complained, crying in frustration.
"Fifteen minutes at most." Cassie replied.
"Is there nothing you can do to speed it along?" Morvydd asked, smoothing Alys's hair back.
"There was something to do! It was nine months ago!" Alys hissed angrily as another wave of contractions hit and Katherine walked in.
"Just breathe through it, darling." he said, ignoring her and rubbing her back.
"Get out, all of you!" she said after a particularly painful contraction, tears slipping down her face.
"Is that you or the pain asking?" Morrigan said kindly.
"The pain." Alys answered after the wave subsided.
"You're almost ready, Alys." Cassie said with a smile, nodding at Adalberto and Sarah to be ready for the children. "Push when I tell you, not a moment before. Okay?"
"Yes, Cassie." she said, letting her husband climb behind her in the bed and gripping his hand firmly.
"Push now." Cassie told her calmly as she felt the next contraction run through Alys's womb, placing the bucket between herself and Alys to catch the fluid.
"Ahh!" Alys groaned out, closing her eyes and gripping tightly against the pain.
"Oh, that's got to hurt." Harold murmured at the sound of the crack, not noticing how Cassie paled when she saw the blood gush out of Alys.
"Cassie, what's wrong?" Morrigan asked worriedly, as Alys's eyes rolled back and she passed out.
"I don't know. She's bleeding. Quite a lot." Cassie answered, digging around in her medical bag and beckoning Adalberto over. "Heat this up. Mor, help pull her up onto the bed so her legs won't hang over. Mor!" Cassie said, snapping him out of his worried trance with a loud snap of her fingers.
"Right, yeah." he said, springing into action and pulling his wife gently up along the bed.
Cassie grabbed the scissors and cut up along Alys's dress, covering her up so no one saw anything immodest, and took the sharp scalpel carefully in her hand. She moved to cut vertically along the abdomen and managed a small knick before she felt someone stop her.
"You're going to kill her!" Katherine pprotested, gripping Cassie's wrist tightly and looking at her coldly.
"I know what I'm doing. Let me do my job!" Cassie told her, careful not to try and force her hand out of Katherine's grip lest she stab Alys.
"You're going to cut her open! It'll kill her!"
"I've done this before, I know what I'm doing. Let me go!" Cassie rebutted, looking right at her sister-in-law.
"Yeah, right! I've never heard of anyone actually doing it so that both child and mother live."
"Katherine! The longer you stop me from doing my job, the closer they are to death, let me go!"
"No! You are already to blame for Owaine and Pellinore's death! I won't let you take my sister as well!" Katherine said, tightening her grip and pulling the girl away from Alys. "It's clear as day, Owaine would not have picked up the gauntlet if he wasn't peacocking for you, and Pellinore would have never fought the knight if Owaine hadn't! We all know that."
"Very well." Cassie said, her entire demeanor changing; her spine straightening, her eyes hardening and her voice taking on that of a royal. "Morvydd? It's your decision my Lord."
"Let her go, Katherine. I trust her and her abilities, as does Alys." he said, his word final.
"You've heard it, my Lady. Let me go." she said in a cold voice. "If anyone else has any objections, you're welcome to stay outside, I cannot afford any distractions. If you cannot stomach this, then leave." she said unemotionally, continuing the cut along the abdomen through the first layer of tissue. She continued on in complete silence until she completed the first layer of the incision.
"Bring the hot rod I gave you, Adalberto and press wherever the bleeding is." Cassie said as the bleed began to increase.
"I'm gonna be sick." Ellie said in a quiet voice, running out of the room with her hand over her mouth.
"I should go check on her." Katherine said, looking green herself while Cassie and Adalberto muttered to each other in spanish.
"Harold, can you heat these up?" Cassie said, holding out two rods and the pair of scissors for him to hold over the fire.
"Okay." he said stoically, taking them over to the fire and putting them in. "Ow!" he cried as the metal heated up through the length and scalded his palm.
"Let me, my Lord." Sarah said, taking his hand and putting some salve over the burn before carefully taking the rods and submerging them in the water to cool off.
"I need them here now!" Cassie called over her shoulder as she tried to stem the bleeding with pressure from her hands.
"Sorry, I burnt myself." Harold apologized, looking at the blisters forming on his palm.
"Sarah?"
"Si, ya se los traigo, Majestad." she said quickly, using a cloth to heat the tips and going over to cauterize the bleeding carefully.
"Okay, I need space. Adalberto, help me take out the fluid. Gently pump this like so. Can someone hold this open?" Cassie asked them, making a small incision on the uterus and gently putting the tube inside carefully while Adalberto pumped out the fluid.
"N-no I need to leave. I'm sorry." Morrigan said, pressing her lips together and fleeing quickly, Harold hot on her tail.
"Very well, Sarah, please hold this like so and keep it open. Adalberto prepárese para recibirlos." Cassie said, reaching in and taking out the first baby gently, making sure her airways were clear of fluid before holding her out for Adalberto to take and cutting the cord before turning back inside and bringing out the other baby, doing the same.
"Twins." Urien said with a wide, proud smile as he took the baby boy to Adalberto and made sure they were okay, both letting out a loud wail as their feet were gently slapped.
"You can let go now, Sarah. I just need to suture." Cassie said, delivering the afterbirth completely and threading the catgut through the needle to close her up.
"I'll just go outside and tell everyone." Urien said, standing up and walking out to tell everyone.
"It'll take me a while to close her up, I'll need my concentration, please don't interrupt me." Cassie told him, turning back to her work and closing the uterus carefully before starting on the next layer.
Much of the next half hour was spent suturing and cauterizing the incisions, Morvydd just looking on in horror and admiration at what was happening.
"Damn it!" Cassie muttered under her breath as Alys started to bleed out profusely, looking her over to try and figure out where the bleeding was coming from.
"What's going on? Cassie! Tell me what's happening!" Mor demanded, her outburst knocking sense back into him after watching silently everything that was happening.
"I don't know. She's bleeding but I can't find where it's coming from." she said quickly, continuing to look her over.
"Do something! Please. You can't let her die! Not after I put all my trust in you. We put all our trust in you!" he said, breathing shallowly as he was helpless at that moment.
"Don't hate me." Cassie whispered, tears in her eyes as she looked at him and waited for his answer.
"Well, what are you waiting for? Do something!" he said, egging her on.
"I'm sorry." Cassie whispered, her tears falling now as she panicked and felt her magic begin to rise in her, her chest tight and vision blurred while her magic did as it pleased and left her body in all directions.
"C-Cassie, what's going on?" he asked, her golden eyes confusing him.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." she whispered over and over before she noticed the bleeding slowing down. Suddenly, she knew exactly what was happening and began to guide her magic towards where it needed to go. "Áfyle se blÓd, áfeorme bæn, ond gerenne, ĝefanga bæm bónlocum."
Cassie repeated the chant over and over, her magic and Gildas's melding into one and doing its work and healing Alys from the inside while Sarah and Adalberto kept the newborn twins warm and safe.
"What's she doing, Adalberto?!" Morvydd demanded angrily, standing up and going to him.
"She's healing her." he answered, handing him his first born daughter and going over to where Cassie was to look over what was going on.
"Did you know she has magic?" Mor demanded in a hissed whisper, not wanting to distract Cassie.
"I knew her in Hispania, my Lord. Only for a little while, but she's had magic since she was a child." he answered, breathing in deeply and checking Alys's pupils while Cassie kept chanting.
"You said nothing? About her magic and her bloodline?" watching him closely as he walked over to tell her to stop.
"She asked me not to, and I respected her wishes. As for the magic, I saw no reason to say anything. She didn't use it to harm anyone, on the contrary. The potion works well without magic, but when it's imbued with magic, it's not just nourishing, it protects the womb from harm." he answered, placing his hand on her shoulder and pulling it back in surprise. "She's quite powerful, too." he added.
"How can I trust you? How can I trust her?"he demanded, ignoring his comment on her power.
"Look at her, she's quite literally using all her power to heal your wife. She has a big heart, and cares for you deeply. She deserves your trust." he answered, looking at her once more and seeing her nose bleed.
"Why's she bleeding?"
"Too much magic." he answered, bracing himself and shaking her gently. "Majestad, está bien. No necesita seguir usando su magia así. Basta." he told her, shaking her once more.
"I have to heal her, leave me!" Cassie said without looking at him or processing the words he said, closing her eyes again and continuing to chant.
"You have to get her to stop, my Lord." he said, shaking his head.
"And how do I do that?"
"Well… good luck to you." Adalberto said, taking the boy from Sarah and walking back to where Cassie was.
"Cassie, please stop. You're just going to hurt yourself, she's fine now. Thanks to you, okay. Alys wouldn't want you to hurt yourself for her. Neither would Owaine." he whispered, wiping the blood off her face with a piece of cloth gently as he cradled his daughter close to his chest.
"She can't die. I can't lose her. You can't lose her." she whispered brokenly, her eyes still glowing as her magic poured into Alys.
"Cassie, stop. She's perfectly fine, Adalberto already checked her over. Stop." he told her gently, handing her the baby in his arms and making her stop what she was doing and look down in shock at her arms. "I have two beautiful children and my wife because of you, Cassie. I am indebted to you."
"They're hungry." Cassie said dully, looking down at the child in her arms and feeling her heart shatter. "Some goat's milk is what they need until Alys wakes." she whispered, handing the baby girl back and standing on unsteady legs.
"Sarah, go get some goat's milk." Morvydd said, smiling gratefully and holding his hand out to stop her from leaving.
"I'll go get it." Cassie whispered brokenly. "Excuse me."
"I'll go, my Lady. Shall I tell them to enter, my Lord?" Sarah asked, stopping her from leaving with a gentle hand. "Here, he likes you." she said as the baby boy snuggled into her and began looking to suckle.
"Take him! I can't- I just can't." Cassie said as she handed the child back to Adalberto, sobbing inconsolably and running away through the servants' entrance so that no one would see her.
"Where's Cassie?" Morrigan asked as she held her newborn grandson in her arms.
"She ran out. I don't know why. Perhaps she wanted to wash up, or get some rest." Mor responded as he looked at his baby girl.
"How's Alys?" she asked instead, handing the baby boy over to her husband.
"She's resting, my Lady. In perfect health, just tired and sore." Adalberto answered as he checked on Harold's burns.
"I think it's time to let you rest, now, darling. I'll see you tomorrow." Morrigan said calmly, kissing her son on the forehead before leaning down and kissing Alys and the twins.
"Good night, Mother." Mor said, smiling down at the two babies in his arms and losing himself in their faces.
"Cassie, let go of the amulet." Gldas said softly, his eyes glowing gold as he locked the door after Cassie ran in in tears. "Cassie?" he repeated, walking around blindly with his hands in front of him so as to not walk into her.
"Can you leave, Gildas." Cassie told him, not wanting anyone to be there.
"Sorry, no. I can't leave you. No matter how hard you hit or insult me." he said, knowing she would do just that.
"Why? You don't know me from Eve. Just leave." she said, shoving him away and angrily swiping at her tears.
"Because our destinies are linked. You wield the Stone of Enuled, the Tower has revealed its secrets to you, even if you don't know them yet. I am the Keeper of the Tower. Ergo, we are linked."
"Just leave me alone. Get out!" Cassie practically yelled at him, hitting his chest with small fsts until he stopped her and held her wrists tightly.
"No. I won't leave. You've lost so much in such a little time, I won't let you lose even more." he said quietly, "Regardless of what you think, I take my destiny seriously and you are a part of it. I'm meant to help you, leaving wouldn't help." he said seriously.
"Why won't anyone understand?" Cassie replied quietly, tears thickening her voice and blurring her vision. "I just want to be alone, Just leave me alone!"
"Because no one wants to leave you alone. For fear of your health." he explained.
"Cassie?" Morrigan called through the door, tapping lighty. "Can I come in?"
"Is there someplace I can sneak out from?" Gildas asked quietly, looking around the chamber in a panic.
"The window." Cassie suggested drily, rolling her eyes.
"I'll hide behind the screen." he said, letting her go and leaning against the wall behind said screen to hide.
"I was going to wash up, my Lady." Cassie said with downcast eyes as she stood in the door to keep Morrigan from coming out.
"What's this 'my Lady?' You know I love you like a daughter. Why are you being so formal?" She asked softly, lifting her face to force Cassie to look into her eyes.
"Katherine's made it perfectly clear what everyone thinks. I'll be gone by morning." Cassie told her, stepping back and turning away.
"Katherine spoke out of fear and grief. None of us believe what she said! Neither does she! My daughter was out of line when she said that to you, and she feels horrible about it!" Morrigan told her, stepping inside and closing the door behind her. "It's quite the opposite, Cassie. We saw how happy Owaine was with you, how alive he always was because of you. He picked up the gauntlet because he was a true knight, and he fought for you. For his Kingdom. His family. Cassie, pay no attention to what she said. She was speaking out of turn, and without thinking."
"But she's right." Cassie whispered defeatedly, staring into the empty fireplace with dead eyes. "They're dead because of me. Owaine, Pellinore, Iorwerth. They're dead because of me."
"Who's Iorwerth?" Morrigan asked softly, leading her to the bed and sitting her down gently, kneeling in front of her.
"My beautiful Iorwerth." Cassie said in such a quiet voice it could barely be heard. "I lost my child the day after I found out about him. At least that's what Gaius said. I carried my dead baby inside me for three days."
"Oh, Cassie." Morrigan said in a stifled voice, tears streaming down her face at the news. "Cassie, I- it must have been so difficult for you to deliver Alys's children. Neither of us would have asked you to deliver them if we had known." she whispered quietly, hugging her daughter and crying silently into the hug while Cassie broke down yet again, heaving with dry sobs as she had no more tears left to cry until she fell into a restless sleep.
"You saved the three of them, knowing how much it hurt, you still did your everything and saved her. You're an exceptional girl, don't ever forget that. I hope you find another man worthy of your love, my child. And I hope he's as good as Owaine." Morrigan whispered softly, placing a gentle kiss on the girl's temple as she moved a pillow down and arranged her gently to be more comfortable.
"I didn't have the heart to wake you up, I left as soon as I could. Call me if you ever need me, Cassie. Don't forget I am your friend. As you are mine, I hope." Gildas wrote on a spare bit of parchment, placing it in her hand and whispering the words that took him away with a soft gust of wind.
"My Lady, Lady Alys would like to see you." a servant said late the next morning as she entered with breakfast and bath water. "Lady Morrigan has sent for your bath water as well."
"Okay." Cassie said, crumpling the paper she had in her hand in frustration.
"The rest of the water will be up shortly, my Lady." she said, curtsying deeply and leaving quickly.
"Why does everyone leave when I need them and stay when I don't want them?" Cassie whispered to herself, languidly walking behind the screen and slowly taking off her bloodied dress with silent sobs racking her body, her palm bloody from how hard she'd clutched Gildas's note.
"Cassie, can I come in?" Morvydd asked from the other side of the door softly, waiting for a reply and opening the door when none came. "Cassie?" he called again, noticing the tub of steaming water in the corner.
"Yes, my Lord?" Cassie asked quietly from behind the screen, pulling her dress back up and holding it up as she looked downwards at him.
"I wanted to talk to you." he said sincerely, walking forward and stopping when she took a nervous step back.
"I'll be gone as soon as I pack. I'll never come back, just please don't tell anyone." Cassie begged him, her eyes wide and fearful as she thought he wanted to confront her about her magic.
"You saved my family, Cassie. I don't want you to leave. You're family, we won't say a word. To anyone." he said sincerely. "I owe you a great debt, Cassie. We all do. And we're not going to hurt you in any way."
"It doesn't matter. I'm not wanted here." she said in a choked voice, shaking her head and backing up even further. "There's nothing here for me."
"That's not true, Cassie. You have us." he replied steadily, walking forwards slowly. "We're your family. I wanted to thank you, Cssie. You used everything in your power to help us. Thank you." Mor said, giving her a tight hug while tears fell down his face. "Thank you, Cassie."
"I-I should wash up, Mor." Cassie said in a choked voice, averting his eyes and standing there awkwardly.
"Right, sorry. Alys wanted to speak to you, She sent me to take you there. I'll let her know you'll be down when you're ready." he said, wiping his face quickly and turning around. "Thank you, again. I mean it."
"Yeah." Cassie muttered, waiting for him to close the door behind him before taking her dress and shift off and walking to the tub and lowering herself in slowly.