Chapter 80 I don't own Merlin, these last few chapters were so hard to write, I have soo considered deleting them, but then I don't know how to change them so I like them, so they're stuck the way they are. Please, leave a reiew because, I'm honestly not that good at critiquing my own work. I think it's horrible rubbish with adequate grammar; my boyfrined says 'it's not that bad' the way he says 'you look good in any dress', so… Have fun reading and reviewing :P

"Sir Bruin and Lady Caelia are arriving tomorrow." Ellie said a few days later. "They want to know if we're going back to Camelot with them or not."

"Are you?" Cassie asked with wide eyes.

"I thought I might, but Ellie's so happy here. I figure I could stay here until the birth and then go back." Ellie answered, gently placing her hand on her lower abdomen and smiling.

"I hope you're happy here. I've lived my entire life in a big city, the monotonousness of the manor is nice for a bit. I'd go stir crazy here." Cassie told her, stopping in the middle of the corridor and leaning against the wall.

"I think you have." Ellie joked lightly, playfully pushing her shoulder back.

"It's hardly a joke, Elle. I feel I would have if it weren't for you. Everyone insisting to constantly be around me. Annoying."

"But necessary. I know what you're feeling, Cassie. I've felt it before. I'm feeling it now. You'll be fine. I envy your strength."

"Seems you made my decision for me." Cassie said with a small scoff.

"No, you said it yourself, you'd go stir crazy. And Bruin and Caelia are the only ones in a long time that would pass through here on their way to Camelot. You have friends and family in Camelot, even if you're fighting with them right now."

"I can travel alone, you know. Did it for almost a year through far more perilous lands." Cassie said, ignoring her comment.

"It's better when you travel with someone, though. Think about it, they're here tomorrow." Ellie said, turning around and walking away.

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"Come in." Alys called out as there was a knock on the door. "Cassie! How are you?"

"Good. Almost. Can I come in?"

"Yes of course. There's a certain boy who's got eyes for you. He's been asking for you. I have to say, I'm a bit jealous." Alys said sweetly, a joking lilt to her voice.

"Ellie's told me Bruin and Caelia are coming through tomorrow." Cassie said, her question implied as she sat down opposite her.

"It's entirely up to you, Cassie. Don't let anyone tell you to stay or leave, it's your choice." Alys said immediately, handing the baby over and kneeling down to look up at her friend. "You need to do what's best for you. Not what Morrigan, or Ellie or myself think is best."

"What if I don't know what's best?" Cassie asked, smiling as the baby opened his eyes and looked at her. "What if what's best is staying here?" she asked him in a soft voice, smiling as he kept looking at her with his big blue eyes.

"If you stay here, Cassie, you'll never get the chance to fall in love again. Start a family again."

"It hurts too much, Alys. I've lost two families already, I don't want to start another one just to lose them. I wouldn't survive it." Cassie said as tears fell down her face and onto the baby's, making Alys laugh slightly and wipe it off gently.

"The pain of losing is a possibility. But the joy of gaining is much bigger, and much better. Don't let your grief stop you from being happy."

"You know, Ellie said I'd go mad here, you're saying the same thing. But what if I'd rather stay here where I can't get hurt."

"Ultimately it's your decision. But don't let fear be a part of it." Alys said, gently squeezing Cassie's knees and standing up. "I hope you don't stay here, Cassie. I'd love to one day meet my nieces or nephews; meet the man that will make you as happy as Owaine did."

"I don't think that man exists."

"I'm sure you just haven't met him yet. Or perhaps you have and you've just never looked at him with those eyes." Alys told her, kissing her on the cheek and picking her daughter up from the crib to feed. "You are welcome to stay here as long as you want, Cassie."

"I don't think this baby boy wants me to go. Can I keep him?" she joked tearfully.

"You can come take him when he's five and terrible." Alys acquiesced jokingly. "But I'm keeping the girl."

"You're giving our children up already?! I'd rather keep the boy!" Mor said jokingly as he walked in for the latter part of the conversation.

"Yes, he sold at a good price, too." Alys joked.

"So you're going tomorrow?" Mor asked as he gently took his baby boy from her arms and smiled.

"I don't know yet."

"Well, you can stay as long as you like, but I'm sure you'd much rather prefer to go back to Camelot. Life would be far more exciting at Court anyway." Mor said.

"Oh, you miss it, do you?" Alys asked him with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes, of course I do. Plenty of mischief to get into without Mother or Father to yell at me."

"Boys. I think you should keep him and I'll take her." Cassie said with a shake of her head.

"Oh, ha ha. Adalberto was looking for you for some reason." Mor told her, cradling his baby and moving him side to side.

"I'll see you then." Cassie said, kissing the babies on the foreheads and rolling her eyes at Mor's jealous scoff as she walked out the door.

"Do you think she's ready to go?" Mor asked his wife quietly after the door closed.

"No. But if she stays she's not going to live her life. She'll just go through the motions here." Alys replied in the same quiet voice.

"Perhaps it's all for the best, my love."

"Adalberto, you needed to speak with me?" Cassie asked, opening the door to his cottage and looking inside.

"Yes, do come in." he said, walking out from the back with his daughter in tow with tears stains down her cheek.

"Majestad, fui yo la que pidió hablar con usted." she said meekly, looking down at the crumpled note in her hand.

"We can speak in English. I know you're much more comfortable speaking it. What would you like to speak about?" Cassie said politely, not moving from the spot where she was.

"My husband wrote to me, I've only just received the letter, It's dated a week ago." she started.

"Well, I'm glad you're in contact with him." Cassie said, unsure of why she was being told this.

"He told me why he left, what he did. He's gone to meet an emissary sent by the usurper king, Witteric. That emissary is an assassin, he's coming for your head."

"Oh." was all Cassie could say after a very long pause.

"My Lady, I swear to you I had no idea about this side of him. I knew he didn't like the monarchy, but that's it. You have to believe me." Sarah said with wide fearful eyes.

"Fret not, Sarah. I believe you." Cassie said in a strong, authoritative voice, her head held high. "I must be off now."

"Majestad, si no es muy atrevido de mí, ¿qué va a hacer?" Adalberto asked her worriedly.

"Lo mejor es volver a Camelot. Traerme el peligro del asesino. Alejarlo de aquí." Cassie replied from the door, her eyes troubled.

"Suerte, Reina Casiopea."

"No lo soy, Adalberto. No soy Reina, nunca lo fui y no lo seré." Cassie told him firmly, nodding at them both and turning to leave.

"You have two beautiful children, my Lady. I confess, I am rather jealous." Caelia said the following day, smiling down at the babies in her arms.

"I'm sure there are many things you can do to remedy that." Alys said cheekily, winking at her as she laughed lightly.

"Congratulations, my Lady. These are for you." Caelia said once again, handing her back the babies and reaching into her purse for the oils. "A present for you."

"They smell wonderful. A few more weeks and I know exactly how to use them."

"I thought you would." Caelia replied, laughing gaily as their husbands walked in, chuckling.

"What are you two talking about?" Bruin asked, hugging his wife from behind and smiling.

"Oh, just gossiping my Lord."Alys answered with a mysterious air, smiling at Lady Caelia.

"Well, I hope you've gotten all the gossip done. We must set out in a bit if we're to make any progress before nightfall." Bruin told them.

"Do you know if Cassie's coming with us?"

"I'm afraid I don't. She might, she might not." Morvydd answered, taking his son and sitting beside his wife.

"I think she's in the greenhouse, and if not then perhaps out by the pond. It's where she spent her days the past couple of weeks." Alys told them softly. "I do hope she goes with you. She'd be happier there than she could ever be here."

"We'll stop back to say our goodbyes after speaking with her, my Lady." Bruin said, smiling cordially at Alys.

"Of course, Sir Bruin. You're always welcomed here. Always have been, and always will be."

"Thank you my Lady, you're very kind." he replied with a respectful bow as the two of them backed out of the chambers.

"Mind if we joined you?" Bruin asked amicably as he walked up to Cassie leaning against the tree.

"Please do." she said in a distracted voice, straightening up and sighing.

"How are you?"

"Worse than expected, but I suppose I'll survive." Cassie said, looking at them both.

"If anyone can, it's you." Bruin told her. "Are you traveling with us, or do you choose to remain here?"

"He's right, you know. Ellie told me how strong you've been. I admire you." Caelia said softly, taking her hand and squeezing it gently.

"Yes, I'm going back with you." Cassie told them as she stared off into space, ignoring her compliment.

"Are you ready to leave? Do you need time to pack?" Bruin asked him.

"No, I'm ready. The trunk's by the main entrance." Cassie answered.

"All that's left is bidding everyone farewell." Caelia said, hooking her arm through Cassie's and steering her back towards the manor house.

"I'll see to it the horses are harnessed." Bruin said as the two women walked up, recognising his wife's subtle hint to leave them alone. "I'll catch up to you both later."

"Okay, that's fine." Caelia told him from afar. "How are you really?"

"Did you think I was sugar coating it before?" Cassie asked incredulously.

"Yes. I do." she answered, stopping short of the big doors and facing her. "My sister went through the same thing as you, she lost her husband and her child. I know how much she hurt, and it was much more than 'worse than expected.' Please, tell me how you are."

"Much worse than expected?" Cassie suggested, hesitant to confide in the other women.

"I realize we're not that close, my Lady, but I hope we are friends." Caelia said sincerely. "You don't need to tell me your every intimate thought, but at least let me know you're okay, yeah?"

"I will be, Caelia. Thank you." Cassie told her sincerely, grateful for the reprieve. "And… I do consider you a friend."

"I'm glad. Come, we've a long trip ahead of us. Let's bid everyone farewell and set off." she said with a smile and a gentle hug.

"I'll be right back. I have a few more people to say goodbye to."

"Those two boys?" Ellie asked gently, walking with Bruin, Caelia and Cassie down to the main entrance.

"Yeah, I won't be long." Cassie said, smiling at them and curtseying quickly before going towards the small village on the outskirts.

"Cassie!" Alex said gaily as he saw her walking down the slope, running up to her with Dicun hot on his tail.

"Hello Alex, Dicun."

"Hi! How are you Cass- I mean, my Lady." Dicun said cheerfully, smiling widely at her and looking up with excitement.

"You can call me Cassie, Dicun. I won't take any offense. On the contrary, I like it." Cassie told him with a fond smile. "I was just coming down to say goodbye to you. I'm leaving for Camelot today."

"You're leaving?" Alex asked with tears in his eyes.

"I'll be back, you know. Take care of your brother, all right? And you take of him, Dicun. I'm counting on you to keep him out of too much trouble. Go on, tell your sister I'm coming."

"Yes, Cassie! I will." Dicun said with an enthusiastic nod, hugging her tightly and turning around to run away to his sister's house to tell his sister they were going.

"I'll miss you."

"As will I, mi pequeño amigo." Cassie said with a small hug. "But you are happy here."

"And you're not?"

"I'm much happier in Camelot." Cassie told him with a brave smile. "Come, I want to say goodbye to Taran. He'll be huge next time I see him."

"Goodbye Cassie." Alex said with a tight hug after she'd given Taran back to his mother.

"Goodbye Alex." Cassie said, sitting down on the hard bench and giving him a fond kiss on his temple. "Goodbye Aldith, thank you for everything." Cassie told her with a gentle nod.

"Quite the contrary, my Lady. It is I who must thank you for everything." she replied, smiling down lovingly at her children. "Have a safe trip, my Lady." she added, walking her to the door and chuckling as Alex pushed past her and waved frantically as Cassie walked away.

"I'm ready, my Lord." Cassie said as she rounded the corner and found Sir Bruin and Lady Caelia speaking with Lord Urien.

"Thank you once more for receiving us and congratulations on your grandchildren. They are truly beautiful." Bruin told him cordially, bowing and holding out his arm.

"Not at all, Sir Bruin. You and your wife are always welcome here." Urien told him, taking his arm and nodding at Lady Caelia, bowing respectfully and smiling as she curtseyed in return.

"Till next we meet, my Lord." she said, picking up her step-daughter who had jumped off the carriage and began to run around her parents.

"My Lord?" Cassie said softly, watching as the other two nobles climbed onto the carriage.

"It's always been Urien, Cassie." he said gently.

"Thank you, for everything."

"Nonsense! You are my daughter-in-law. I think of you as family. Never forget that. You have absolutely nothing to thank me for."

"Goodbye." she said tearfully, hugging him gently and turning around to climb into the carriage, wiping the tears off surreptitiously and taking out her mantilla to put on.

"It's beautiful. I've never seen anything like it before." Caelia noted as she admired the fine needlework in the images.

"A tradition from my homeland. Although, the design is much less eloquent. I had too much time to not want to think, and the detail of needlework keeps my mind from wandering." Cassie answered with a blush.

"Beautiful nonetheless. It could be quite lucrative in court, making veils such as these. You have quite a talent, Cassie." she commented, smiling kindly.

"If you like, I can make you one. I really don't mind. I suppose the work would keep me from going mad." Cassie offered, taking out the small bit of lace she had left and her embroidery needles. "What flowers do you like?"

"I like periwinkle. Do you know what that is?"

"Yes, I do." Cassie said, beginning to put the lace into the hoop and thinking about how big to make the veil. "How do you like the edges?"

"I don't follow."

"The edges can be simple, wavy, patterned."

"I'm not familiar with the patterns, you decide. I trust your taste." Caelia told her, cradling her youngest to her breast and shushing her as she'd started crying.

"Okay." Cassie told her, her eyes downcast as she used her magic to draw a template only she could see and began to embroider the edges of the veil, the five of them traveling in silent companionship as the three kids slept and the two women did their needlework.

"My Ladies, we'd better stop for the night. Sun's too low to continue." Bruin called from where he was driving the carriage.

"The children are getting off, love. Don't let them run off too far." Caelia said as her two older children jumped down and began chasing each other with peals of laughter sounding in the noise of the woods.

"I'll get the firewood. I'll be right back." Cassie said, leaving her embroidery on the carriage and taking off into the woods while Bruin and Caelia made sure their children stayed close and set up camp for the night.

"I've brought some food for us. Courtesy of Lord Urien. Already cooked, all we need to do is heat it up." Bruin said once Cassie came back with armfulls of firewood.

"Will it take long, Father? I'm hungry." his son whined.

"Not at all. Be patient, son." Bruin answered with a chuckle, using the flint to start the fire and placing the pot over it to heat their food.

"Your handiwork is truly impressive, Cassie. All this, freehand? I could never." Caelia said, admiring the intricate edges of the veil that encircled the entirety of it.

"Years of practice and a need to stay distracted." Cassie answered with a blush.

"How much will you charge me for it?" Caelia asked her as she put the unfinished veil back onto the carriage seat.

"Pardon?" Cassie asked, surprised.

"I did say your work would be lucrative. Consider me your first client. How much?"

"I couldn't possibly charge you for this, Lady Caelia. Consider it a gift." Cassie refuted.

"I'm afraid we must insist, Cassie. It is your work, hard work." Bruin piped in at his wife's silent suggestion.

"I-I don't know." Cassie said pensively. "Half ounce of thrymsas? Does that sound fair?"

"More than fair, Cassie. Deal, half ounce of thrymsas." Caelia said, nodding her head and excusing herself to feed her youngest since their wet nurse had stayed in Camelot.

"Goodnight, my darlings." Caelia said with a gentle kiss on their foreheads after they'd finished their dinner, making small talk as they ate.

"Goodnight, mother." they said in unison, closing their eyes and holding onto each other's hands as they drifted off to sleep.

"I should get to sleep as well. Goodnight Bruin, Caelia." Cassie said politely, smiling at them both and getting up to wash the dishes before going to her bedroll.

"Oh, you don't have to do that, Cassie. I'll take care of it. Get some rest." Bruin told her, taking the plate from her and steering her over to her bedroll to sleep.

"She's keeping busy; embroidery, needlework. Alys showed me the quilt she made the two children. Said it took her one night to finish it and I know from experience it takes far more than one night." Caelia commented quietly after they saw her breathing even out.

"Is that a good thing?"

"I don't know. It might be, it might not."

"You're worried for her?" Bruin asked her gently, his eyes adoring as he looked at her above the fire.

"Yes. We may not be close friends, but we are still friends."

"Because of me."

"Yes, because of you. If you weren't so juvenile sometimes you probably wouldn't have gotten pranked by her and Owaine."

"My bum still hurts because of that. But it was really fun getting back at them after."

"It was a vicious, juvenile cycle." Caelia told him with a hint of humor. "And it only stopped when I helped her prank you."

"You could have used other methods to persuade me you know."

"Keep talking like that and those methods won't be used in quite some time, my darling." she said with a deadly smile.

"Okay, it's late. Get some sleep. I'll keep watch." Bruin said, kissing her gently and watching as she went over and went to sleep.

"Cassie! You're back." Gwen said happily, walking up to the carriage and all but yanking her down, hugging her tightly and then grabbing her hand and running off towards Morgana's chambers, not letting her get a word in edgewise as she explained why she was dragging her along quickly.

"Morgana's told me not to let you disappear back to your chambers without first speaking to us. She says you owe her that much. You owe us that much. And I agree with her, I am truly remorseful over our actions and really miss you. You have to hear us out."

"Guinevere, I-" Cassie began to say before she got her breath knocked away by another forceful hug.

"Cassie, I missed you so much. Even though you were here, it felt like I didn't see you, you wouldn't even acknowledge that we're there. I didn't think Gwen would have been able to convince you to come! You have to listen to us, Cassie. We feel so bad for offending you and hurting you the way we did. You know we love you as if you were our sister. You're the closest thing we have to a sister, apart from each other. Please, Cassie. Say you'll forgive us. I beg of you." Morgana pleaded as she bear-hugged her best friend, tears falling down her eyes.

"I may have fibbed just a little." Gwen admitted with a deep blush, looking at the blonde as she turned her watery eyes towards the brunette.

"I have been told by many people that pain needs time to go away. I sincerely hope that's true because I don't want to lose my family. Not another one. Not again." Cassie said in a deceptively steady voice.

"So don't. Forgive us. Please." Gwen pleaded, her big green eyes swimming with unshed tears.

"I already have, it just hurts too much to be with you right now. Please, I want to be alone." Cassie said in a whisper, pulling back from Morgana gently and looking at the floor as her mantilla slid down silently.

"We're always here, Cassie. All you have to do is come. My door is always open for you." Morgana said, wiping her tears away delicately and hugging the younger blonde far more gently than she had been before.

"Yeah." Cassie whispered, watching as Morgana bent down and gathered the veil in her hands and turned it over curiously.

"This is a masterpiece, Cassie. I can see the love between you both under that tree." Morgana said softly, smiling gently as she put it back on Cassie's head and adjusted it around her shoulders.

"I believe I shall take my leave now, my Lady." Cassie said nervously, folding the veil back over her face and looking down as she walked by Gwen, pausing just before the door and turning around. "I have forgiven you. I just don't think I can forget. Not right away anyways, and I'm not sure how to forget."

"You don't have to forget, Cassie." Gwen said softly, walking up to her and putting her hands on Cassie's shoulders. "Thank you for forgiving us. We won't forget this. Ever." she said, turning around and taking something from the table. "Morgana and I made this for you. It's not quite as elaborate as your needlework, but it was meant to be a present."

"Gwen did most of the work, she had the idea and everything. All I did was draw the designs." Morgana said, looking nervously at her friend as she reluctantly took the decorated pillow.

"It's stuffed with feathers, Morgana figured you might appreciate it if it was practical as well as pretty. I agree." Gwen pointed out with a nervous smile.

"Thank you both. It is very beautiful. With your permission." Cassie said, deferring to the royal.

"With my permission? Cassie we're friends. Equals. Sisters. You don't need my permission for anything. You don't need anyone's permission for anything. Just remember that." Morgana said with a strange look in her eyes, smiling happily at Cassie as she left the room with a respectful curtsy.

"She forgave us!" Gwen said happily, giggling as Morgana squealed in a very un-Ladylike manner and hugged her.