Chapter 82 I don't own Merlin. Enjoy! Also, shout out to my first review on my other story, made me super happy, even though for some reason I'm not getting the email alerts anymore.

"My Lady? May I come in?" some asked from outside the door, waiting for an answer.

"Lady Katherine? Is everything alright?" Cassie asked as she walked back to her chambers, making the tall woman jump slightly.

"Oh! Yes, well, maybe. Um, can we speak? I've been looking all over for you." she said with a wide smile.

"Yes, of course. Come on in." Cassie said, opening the door and letting the Lady inside before closing it with a soft click.

"Before anything, I've seen some of the veils and shawls you've sold. They are quite beautiful."

"Thank you." Cassie said, confused as to where she was going with this,

"As you know, I like designing some… intimate shifts and underclothes. Perhaps we can work together, your lacework is exquisite."

"My Lady, were it not for Lady Caelia, I never would have thought about selling them. It's just a hobby for me." Cassie answered slowly.

"It is also an opportunity. You are given a small allowance from your husband's work, and you have your own here as Court Midwife, but that work is not for Ladies of the Court, regardless of blood status. You might want to take advantage of my offer."

"I appreciate your offer, Lady Katherine, but I must refuse. I wasn't going to continue with the embroidery. It's just a means to keep my mind busy for now."

"I understand. Perhaps by commission, then. There's a certain nightgown that calls for extreme attention to detail. I've had it designed for years, but haven't met one whose work I admire as much as I do yours. Would you consider doing that as a trial?"

"Yes, I can do that." Cassie relented.

"Good, I have the design right here, the seamstress is working on it right now, but just the cut, none of the embellishments."

"It is very intricate." Cassie told her, turning the page upside down to examine them from different angles. "Might take me a few weeks."

"Very well, now that my business is finished, onto yours." she said, her eyes bright and her smile excited. "I suspect I might be with child. I've missed my monthlies twice now and I'm feeling slightly nauseous. I mean, I've had four children, I should know by now what it feels like to be with child. I just… want to be sure."

"You must be very happy." Cassie said in a fake conversational manner, turning around and busying herself with pouring the barley into a bowl so Lady Katherine couldn't see the hurt in her eyes.

"I am, that's why I want this design now. Surprise my husband." Katherine continued, not catching onto the younger girl's feelings.

"Well, it'll be at least a week before we know. You can go behind the screen. I'll leave you for your privacy." Cassie said, handing her the bowl and walking towards the door with her journal in hand.

"Thank you, Lady Casiopea. I'll have the seamstress bring you the gown later today."

"Send it to Lady Morgana's chambers. I've been invited to spend the day." Cassie told her matter-of-factly.

"Of course. Thank you once again for agreeing to this."

"As long as you remember it's not a partnership, my Lady." Cassie said smoothly, closing the door and walking away.

"Cassie! Gwen told me you'd be spending the day here!" Morgana greeted happily from where she was applying her makeup.

"Lady Katherine is sending something for me, I hope it's fine that I told her to send it here."

"Of course. I confess I'm slightly curious as to what she's sending you."

"One of her masterpieces, her words, and she'd like me to do the embroidery for it." Cassie answered, sitting down on the windowsill and opening the book she held and dipping the quill in the inkwell.

"Must be quite salacious if she called it her masterpiece." Morgana commented, sitting on the windowsill across from her and opening another book.

"Not really. This is the design." Cassie said absentmindedly, handing over a roll of parchment for Morgana to take.

"It's beautiful."

"Seems so delicate, so unlike her other designs." Gwen agreed as she looked over Morgana's shoulder.

"It's for herself."

"I'm genuinely surprised." Morgana said, rolling the parchment back up and handing it back to Cassie.

"I've never seen you so quiet and focused, Cassie." Morgana commented after lunch that day, watching as Cassie went back to the windowsill and gathered up the delicate fabric to continue embroidering the sleeves.

"It helps. Having to concentrate only on this so I don't mess everything up. Keeps me from thinking about him."

"Cassie, don't you think it might be better to think about him?" Morgana asked in a gentle voice, stopping Cassie from working on the nightgown with gentle hands.

"It hurts. I think about him at night, anyway. Lie awake and stare and remember." Cassie answered in a far off voice.

"What do you remember?"

"Our first kiss, when he first told me he loved me, the first time we danced together." Cassie replied.

"Those seem like good things, Cassie. Why don't you want to remember them?"

"Because when the memory is over, all I feel is empty. Alone. I don't want that." she said in a broken voice, holding back the tears. Barely.

"Cassie, I'm sure Gwen's already told you this, but you are not alone. And you can come whenever you want."

"Yeah, she said the exact same thing." Cassie said, smiling slightly. "I should get back to this."

"Okay, just…we can talk whenever you want to." Morgana said, walking back towards the window overlooking the square and looking out at the tall, dark-haired serving boy currently brushing down his master's horse; Merlin.

"I had a lovely time today, Cassie. We should do this again tomorrow?" Morgana said as she saw Cassie to the door.

"Of course, I'd be happy to, Morgana." Cassie said with a faltering smile, her embroidery folded neatly in the crook of her arm.

"What's wrong?" Morgana asked sweetly.

"I don't know. Don't mind me, I'll be here bright and early my dear friend."

"Ok. If you need anything, please…" Morgana said, trailing off with a genuine smile as she hugged her and bade her goodnight.

"I know." Cassie replied when Morgana let her go. "Sleep well, 'Gana."

"You too." she said, watching as she walked down the stairs with a sad expression.

As she walked through the castle, Cassie thought of what Morgana had said earlier; how it might be better to not ignore the memories she had of him. So with a quivering breath Cassie turned the corner and went towards the noble's wing, stopping right at the alcove Owaine loved to pull her into and challenge her propriety with a sad sigh. She stayed there for a few seconds, holding in the sobs and taking deep breaths before continuing down the hall towards her shared chambers with him. She reached out her hand to open the door and opened it with her eyes closed.

"Aah!" Cassie shrieked when she opened them, seeing a huge spider crawling in front of her and backing up quickly with a smal of the door.

"What's wrong? Are you okay?" Leon and Bruin asked, rushing forward with their swords drawn.

"S-sorry." Cassie said with flaming cheeks, her mantilla having halfway slipped off and hanging from her shoulders. "I-I s-saw a spider. I don't like spiders."

"You deal with her, I'll kill the spider." Bruin said, opening the door and going in while Leon stealthily slapped the spider off her back disguising it as a friendly pat.

"You're afraid of spiders?" he asked her calmly.

"Yes." Cassie said shyly, trying to calm down her breathing.

"You spent months travelling the forests alone. Plenty of spiders there." he pointed out.

"Believe me, I know." Cassie muttered while Bruin walked out.

"Chamber's spider free. Looked around everywhere. You'll be safe now." he said with a teasing smile. "I'm not letting this go, by the way, Cass. Holding this over you for the rest of your life."

"Fine, I'll get something from Caelia to hold over you, Bruin." Cassie shot back, her teasing with a slight malicious undertone.

"Hey, this is too good for me to not use. I can already picture the glorious prank."

"Forget about it, Bruin. You get her, she gets us all. And then your dead meat out on the training field. I'll personally see to it." Leon said protectively.

"Fine, I get it. Goodnight, you two." he said, rolling his eyes and backing away from them, smiling knowingly once his back was turned.

"Le-Leon do you mind-"

"Double checking? Of course not." he said, not letting her finish and going into her chambers, leaving her with her mouth open mid sentence.

"I-I was going to say switching chambers tonight." she said with a blush.

"Oh! No, of course not." he said, smiling at her and leading her to his chambers next door.

"Thanks, I-I wouldn't ask if-"

"You don't have to explain anything to me, Cassie." Leon interrupted her, a hand on either of her shoulders gently. "I told you this morning, you can come to me for anything. I'll do it."

"Yeah. Thanks." Cassie repeated not knowing what else to say. "Uhm, I, uh..." Cassie began, not entirely sure how to ask.

"You can trust me, Cassie." Leon told her gently while she stuttered and blushed.

"Do-do you have an old tunic or something? I, erm, I don't have anything to sleep in." she said, biting her lower lip slightly embarrassed.

"Yeah, here. It's clean." Leon said, crossing the room and opening his wardrobe to grab a neatly folded tunic and holding it out for her.

"Thank you, Leon." Cassie told him gratefully.

"Just give me a moment to change out of this hauberk, then it's all yours." he told her with a friendly smile.

"Yeah, course." Cassie told him, placing the folded tunic and the nightdress on the bed and turning to wait outside.

"Uh, Cassie?" Leon called out uncertainly a few minutes later.

"You were done quickly." Cassie commented as she walked back inside and closed the door.

"Not really." he said, walking out from behind the screen with the hauberk tangled in his hair.

"How did you manage to get it this tangled up?" Cassie cried as she took one of his hands and led him over to the nearest place to sit, trying to hold in her laughter.

"Er." Leon said in answer.

"Oh, shush. It'll take some time to untangle this." Cassie said in a joking lilt, her fingers working nimbly to untangle it as gently as possible. "There, all done." she said five minutes later. "And hardly any hair pulled out."

"I don't know what I'd have done without you." Leon said as he draped the hauberk over the back of his chair and looked up at her, shirtless.

"Cut your hair off?" Cassie suggested, smiling jokingly as he looked into her eyes.

"Or pull my hair out." Leon replied with a smile, both of them falling into a comfortable silence as they looked at each other.

"It's rather late, we should get to sleep." Cassie said after a while, her cheeks burning red and her mind spinning with conflicting thoughts as she saw Leon stand up and lean in closer to kiss her. She felt a sliver of something run down her spine the moment his lips touched hers, but she was so shocked she could do nothing more than stand there stiffly.

"You asked me this morning if you were anything more to me than a friend who makes me smile. You are. When you're ready, I'll tell you what I truly think about you. Until then, I hope this gives you a hint." Leon told her in a gentle voice, his hand going up to cradle her neck and leaning down to kiss her gently once more.

"Leon, I-" Cassie said in a surprised voice, her eyes wide.

"No, don't say anything. I shouldn't have kissed you. I apologise." Leon said quickly, regret clearly seen on his face as he bowed and left the room quickly, throwing on his nightshirt as he did so.

Cassie stood rooted to the spot with a vacant expression for a moment longer before she shook her head and changed into the tunic Leon had given her, her thoughts racing as she fell into a fitful sleep on his bed.

"Cassie! You weren't lying when you said bright and early. How was the rest of your evening last night?"

"It was fine, I continued with Lady Katherine's design." Cassie said, going back to where she had been sitting the previous day and unfolding the fabric.

"You must have spent all night to get this far!" Morgana cried as she saw most of the hem-line done.

"I couldn't sleep, and I didn't want to think." Cassie answered, going back to it quietly.

"That's not healthy, Cass. You need to rest."

"I've gone far longer with far less." Cassie told her offhandedly, her focus almost completely on the pattern in front of her.

"Really?" Morgana asked, her curiosity peaked.

"Yes, when I- when I ran away from Hispania. I travelled as long as I could without stopping, and even then, I only stopped long enough for Blaze to rest before continuing on." Cassie replied in a bored voice.

"You aren't running now, Cassie. Rest. Process. Your life isn't in any danger." Morgana told her softly, walking over and gently placing her hand on Cassie's shoulder.

"What if I tol-" Cassie started only to stop when a knock sounded on the door and the King walked in.

"Morgana. Lady Casiopea." he greeted with a simple nod, looking at his ward.

"I'll leave the room, Your Majesty. Excuse me." Cassie said with a quick curtsy, taking her belongings and heading towards the noble's wing.

"My Lady. How are you?" Lady Katherine greeted brightly, stopping in front of her and blocking her way.

"I am well, Lady Katherine. Thank you. I've made some progress on your nightdress."

"Oh, that's just the robe, dear."

"The robe? It's quite…"

"Sheer? Erotic?" she supplied with a smirk, enjoying the blush creeping up Casie's neck.

"Y-yes. E-erotic is a good word for it."

"I figured you might think that. The rest of it is with the seamstress. Her sensibilities are much less easy to transgress than yours, my dear Lady. Guienevere told me how you reacted to the little number they bought for your Consummation."

"Oh." Cassie said with a quite noticeable blush, looking around nervously. "I, er, it was really beautiful. Just….not my style."

"It's quite alright, dear. I'm not so delicate I can't take criticism. In fact, I've taken quite a lot of criticism in my time." she said conversationally.

"If I keep the pace up I might finish before the week is over." Cassie told her, trying to reign in her blush.

"I appreciate that, but don't over-do it. Your health must come first and you're looking quite tired lately."

"I'll keep that in mind, Lady Katherine."

"And please, can we forgo the formalities?"

"Of course, Katherine. I'll get the robe to you once I've finished."

"Thank you, Casiopea. It's looking wonderful thus far."

"It's quite calming, the repetitive motion and the thought going into the needlework. I must admit I am quite liking it."

"Does that mean you've given more thought to my offer?" she asked hopefully.

"No, I haven't. Alas, I don't think I'll take you up on it. Like I said, I don't plan to spend so long focusing on this." Cassie told her.

"Fair enough. Have a good day."

"You as well, Katherine." Cassie said, letting out a relieved breath and continuing on to her chambers.

"Building up your courage again?" someone asked in a whisper behind her, making Cassie jump.

"Bruin! You startled me!" Cassie cried in embarrassment, bending down to pick up what she'd dropped.

"I was trying to." he said with a chuckle. "Sir Leon had one of the servants clean the whole thing early this morning. I saw him talking to her as I went down for training. You know what that means?" he told her mischievously, well aware of the knight's feelings for her after having deduced it the previous night.

"That you don't have a life of your own?" Cassie told him teasingly.

"Ha ha." he laughed sarcastically, rolling his eyes and leaning against the wall. "And here I am, trying to help you. You know, I could just as easily fool you, make it seem like there's a spider crawling up your back. Or get ten spiders and let them loose in your chamber. Now that would be a glorious, mean prank!"

"There's no spiders. And if you did that, then I'd just have a few words with a few people and get back at you."

"You are scarily influential." he said, his smile fading but the mirth never leaving his eyes. "Anyway, chamber's clear. I'd be happy to check for you, though." he teased.

"I know you're only teasing me, but go ahead. Please do." Cassie told him with a sneaky smile.

"What are you going to do?"

"If I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise. And we don't want to ruin the surprise, do we?"

"Yes. We do." Bruin told her seriously, looking around and making a dramatic turn. "Spider free!"

"I'd watch your back if I were you." Cassie told him sweetly, knowing that was all she needed to do for him to be driven crazy and walking further into the room.

"You-ugh!" he said, holding up a finger at her and grunting in frustration. "I might just have to- you-uh!" he grumbled, mumbling to himself as he walked away.

"That's funny. You're not actually going to do anything, are you?" Leon asked as he leant against the doorframe with his arms crossed over his chest, a soft smile on his face.

"No, I'll let his paranoia do the trick." Cassie said, pouring two goblets of wine and handing him one politely after turning around at the sound of his voice.

"Listen about last night-" Leon and Cassie both said at the same time, laughing nervously.

"Ladies first." Leon said, motioning for her to continue.

"Well- I-I wanted to- actually, you first." Cassie said, stumbling over her words and closing the door with a quick glow of her eyes.

"You really shouldn't use it so carelessly, you know." Leon commented after a brief reaction, his hand going to the hilt of his sword.

"Sorry." Cassie said sheepishly as her eyes followed his movement, walking over and locking the door before sitting down and continuing her embroidery by hand.

"No, it's part of who you are, I guess." he said, looking around nervously. "Um, can you- You can use it, if you're comfortable."

"I trust you, Leon." Cassie said, smiling at him gratefully and closing her eyes quickly.

"What are you doing?" he asked after a few seconds of silence.

"Focusing my magic on the design and transferring it to the silk."

"Wouldn't someone notice?"

"No, all I'm doing is the outline. I stitch the rest thread by thread." Cassie told him, her eyes fading back to blue as she looked at him, looking down quickly as she saw the slightly frightened look in his eyes.

"By hand? Or with magic?" he asked curiously.

"Depends on who I'm with. If I'm alone, magic. If not…" Cassie said, trailing off guiltily as she saw the look that appeared on his face as the needle worked its way in and out by itself and stopping it with her hand.

"Stop looking so guilty, Cassie. I won't say anything." Leon told her softly, finishing his goblet and going to where she was, kneeling down in front of her. "I want to apologise for last night. I acted on impulse, I'm sorry." he told her, gently freeing the needle from her grasp and looking down quickly as it resumed the embroidery.

"What are you sorry for?" Cassie asked in a quiet voice, her hands limp on her lap while the needle quickened imperceptibly with her heartbeat.

"For not giving you the time I'd promised myself I'd give you. For not respecting my friend's memory. For proving to myself that I'm not worth the title I was born into." he said softly, shaking his head and letting it fall onto his chest.

"The title? Of Knighthood? I thought you worked for that here."

"Not Knighthood. Nobility." Leon corrected with a sorrowful expression.

"I think you are very noble, Leon. I've never known you to be haughty or craven." Cassie told him honestly. "And I've known many a noble to be just that: pusillanimous and ignoble. Nearly all the nobility in Hispania was that way, it's why our army wasn't divided based on blood status. Aslo, they got fat from sitting on their thrones." she said, joking and smiling coyly.

"Thank you, my Lady." he said, his hand slowly taking hers.

"No need to thank me, Sir Leon." Cassie told him, emphasising his title. "You're a knight of your own merit. And you're an honourable man. I-I," Cassie said, stopping and taking a deep breath. "I quite enjoyed the kiss last night. And I feel really guilty for it. Leon, I'm not ready. For anything." she said, one of her hands going up to his face and cradling his cheek. "I'm sorry. My heart still belongs to Owaine."

"I should be the one to apologise to you, Cassie. I overstepped everything. Took advantage of you and your grief."

"Leon." Cassie said softly, stopping him from speaking with a firm look. "Sir Leon, you shou- My mother once told me that I should never be ashamed of what I feel. I'm telling you that now, do not be ashamed."

"It's not my feelings I'm ashamed of. It's my actions." he told her with vulnerable eyes and heart on sleeve.

"Then we shall both be ashamed." Cassie said softly, leaning closer and kissing him softly but deeply. "I don't think I can share your feelings just yet. Not now."

"I understand. I'll leave you." he said, standing up with his back straight and his shoulders rigid.

"Perhaps given time, I can get over him." Cassie said gently, standing up and placing a hand over Leon's heart with a significant look at him.

"I don't want that for you, Cassie. You don't get over the death of someone you love. You don't move on or forget. You get through." he told her with a shake of his head, holding her hand to his heart. "You get past."

"Then maybe once I get through we can… give it a chance?" she suggested, her eyes tearing up but her heart pounding in her chest.

"That would make me the happiest man." Leon told her with a small smile, not willing to let her see just how happy he felt when she looked to be on the verge of crying.

"There's something I must tell you first." Cassie said quickly before she lost her nerve.

"Yes?"

"I- there's something very few people know about me." she began nervously, looking at the floor as she spoke.

"Is it about your magic? I already know, Cassie." Leon said gently, lifting her gaze up to meet his.

"No. It's about my family. My blood family. I come from royal blood. My brother and my father and grandfather were all Kings. Going back perhaps five generations." she told him quickly, letting out a deep breath and closing her eyes.

"I suppose I should have guessed it. No one who wasn't born into royalty or nobility behaves the way you do. But then there's times where you contradict everything and seem like a humble peasant. You are full of contradictions, Cassie. I do hope that one day I will get to know them all." Leon told her with a smile, his eyes soft as he knelt on one knee and put his hand over his heart. "And when you are ready, I will be here waiting for you. It's a solemn vow, my Lady."

"I should go back now, Morgana's expecting me." Cassie told him, stepping back awkwardly and swiping away a stray tear that fell down her cheek.

"Until then, my Lady." Leon told her with a gentle kiss on her hand.

"Sir Leon." Cassie said, curtseying quickly and smiling at him as he unlocked the door and left.

"I didn't think you'd be coming back! Come on in!" Morgana said as she opened the door to her chambers. "Uther just wanted to speak to me about some nobles who will be arriving in two months. About his expectations of me."

"Your duties as Princess." Cassie said in agreement, thinking about what her duties had been.

"I'm not Princess, I'm his ward, not his daughter." Morgana told her with a roll of her eyes.

"Whatever you say, Morgana. From what I've seen, he treats you as his daughter, plans to marry you off to strengthen his Kingdom, protects you as if you held a stake to the throne. For all intents and purposes, you are aPrincess." Cassie told her, taking a seat at the windowsill and looking at her.

"You were going to tell me something before Uther interrupted." Morgana commented, ignoring the logic behind Cassie's words.

"I was?" Cassie said, her heart hammering as she thought back and panicked.

"Yes, you were. Go on. Tell me." she prodded slowly, pulling her vanity chair over and sitting down with an excited smile.

"Well, I-I guess I wanted to talk to you. Ab-about, um-"

"You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to." Morgana said gently, hiding the hurt well.

"No, it's just- every time I try to tell you something, he walks in."

"Uther?"

"Yes. And if it's not him then it's Arthur, or a knight, or anyone. I trust you, or at least I'm trying to trust you again. I've only told a handful of other people about this, and- Look, 'Gana, I don't know why it's so hard for me to tell you this. You and Gwen are supposed to be my best friends, and I haven't been able to utter a single word about this to you for some reason."

"Cassie." Morgana interrupted softly, taking her by the wrist gently and smiling. "Cass, you don't have to say a word about anything. Tell me when you're ready. Not before, I can wait. And I can work to get your trust back. I want to, Cassie."

"Then we've already got two steps closer." Cassie told her with a hopeful smile, hating the fear that popped into her everytime she saw the King.

"Yes, we have. I have to commission a dress for when the nobles come, the seamstress is to send samples later. Do you want to help me pick everything out?" Morgana asked, putting the chair back in its place and going over to the fresh flowers by her bed.

"Sure, that'd be nice." Cassie said, using her magic to quicken the pace of her embroidery without it being obvious.

"Have you had lunch yet? Gwen's meant to be coming up at any moment with the laundry and then she's going to the kitchens for our food."

"No, not yet. I'm not that hungry though, if she brings anything I'd rather it be something light." Cassie answered, her mind once again focused on the embroidery.

"I'll let her know, then. But you have to eat more, Cassie. You're going to get sick if you don't." Morgana told her worriedly.

"Yes, 'Gana. I'm just not hungry." Cassie answered in a semi-bored voice, spending the rest of the day there and leaving well after Gwen had gone home for the day.

"That's quite the smile you've got on your face there, Leon. I know exactly what that means." Bruin teased quietly as the two walked back to the castle after their afternoon training.

"If you don't shut it, I'll do so for you." Leon warned in a low voice.

"Hey, I want her happy as much as you do. Just make sure she wants you before you two start anything. She deserves that much."

"I'm giving her space, and time." Leon answered as they put their weapons away and left. "And I hope she feels the same way when she gets past the grief."

"For both your sakes, I do too." Bruin told him. "Besides, that way you can shield me from her devious pranks. Pell did something of the sort, although not very effectively."

"That's because Owaine fed him bad information. You should know by now that's how Cassie works."

"You know, that explains so much." Bruin said as if it all made sense. "Well, I'm off to both 'watch my back' and get back at her preemptively. See you."

"I would stop the preemptive strike. It'll just make things worse for you." Leon told him before he could run away again.

"Yeah, that's true I'll work on my prank for after the fact then!"

"You're very juvenile, you know."

"That's what got Caelia to fall for me. I'm never gonna change." Bruin said with a puckish grin, punching his arm before walking down the corridor and leaving him chuckling to himself.