Chapter 85 I don't own Merlin. Hated the ending of last chapter, and the battle scene was really hard to write, sooo, I'm looking for someone who would want to be my beta? Give me a few pointers and check out my grammar. PM me if you're interested! Pop over to the one shot for this chapter's accompanying fic! Also, I completely forgot yesterday was the first, I, er, don't really pay too much attention to the date. OOPS
"I place myself at your mercy, Prince Arthur." Cassie said as soon as she woke up and saw Arthur and Merlin having a heated, whispered conversation. "I apologise for any grievances. You may do with me as you see fit." she added, getting up on wobbly legs and kneeling at his feet, her hands out in front of him.
"Can you ride?" Arthur asked her, not meeting her eyes.
"Yes, I can." Cassie said quietly, looking to the floor as she accepted her fate.
"Then we ride at first light." Arthur told his group sullenly, walking past Cassie and laying on his cot.
"Why didn't you tell us?" Gwen asked quietly, unable to do as Arthur did.
"I was afraid. I was afraid you'd all hate me for something I can't control." Cassie said in a choked voice, looking tearfully at Merlin as she said this.
"Can't control?" Morgana asked in confusion. "You control it very well if no one knows."
"I didn't choose to learn magic. I was three when I was first able to use it. Six when I tried to stop, and stopping almost killed me. I was near death for over a month. I had to learn if I wanted to live. And I'm glad I did. I wouldn't have met Owaine." Cassie said, her voice cracking and tears falling down her face as she finished. "I wouldn't have met any of you. My friends and family."
"Did he know?" Arthur asked from where he was, his back still facing them as he balled his hands into fists and stopped the tears from forming at the thought of his fallen brother-in-arms.
"Yes, he did. But he was always loyal to you, Arthur." Cassie answered in a choked voice. "After he learned, he realised his loyalty was to you, Prince Arthur. Not to your father."
"Treason." he murmured loud enough for everyone to hear and fall quiet.
"Get up, Cassie." Morgana said gently, helping her to her feet with a wince and an intake of breath and supporting her to where her cot lay.
"I'll sleep there tonight, my Lady. Cassie can take my bed tonight."
"Hunith, I ca-" Cassie started, looking at her with wide eyes only to be interrupted.
"I won't take any arguments. Sleep there, I'll be fine."
"Okay." Cassie agreed tiredly, letting Morgana steer her back to the bed and lying down with her back to everyone. "Hnesce." she whispered, smiling as the bed softened and then regretting it as she felt extremely light headed and fainted once again.
"Thank you for everything, Cassie." Hunith whispered into her ear the next morning as they prepared to leave, hugging her tightly and letting go quickly as the young girl breathed in sharply.
"Family, right?" Cassie replied, feeling numb at the prospect of what lay ahead.
"Can you ride?" Arthur asked once more, seeing how she struggled to approach the horse.
"Yes, Sire. I can ride." Cassie told him, mounting after at least six unsuccessful tries.
"Hands." he said, his jaw clenched and his eyes brimming with confusion he tried so hard to hide.
"Yes, my Lord." Cassie said, obediently holding her hands out for him to tie and letting him take her reins.
"Let's go." he ordered, taking off quickly and quietly, refusing to respond to any of the words Merlin spoke.
"Arthur…. I have to-I have to stop. Please." Cassie gasped out a few hours later, her face pale and her side throbbing.
"We'll rest for a bit." he agreed, trying to hide his worry, stopping the horses and going to help her down, seeing how she paled significantly as he did so.
"Are you okay?" Merlin asked quickly, rushing over to her and taking her temperature and pulse.
"I'll be fine. I just needed to get off that horse." Cassie told him quietly, breathing through the pain with every word.
"You're clearly not fine, Cassie." Morgana told her worriedly, looking at her closely.
"You shouldn't have learned magic. No matter what." Arthur told her, trying to keep the worry out of his expression, and failing.
"You won't change your mind about this, so I won't waste my breath, Arthur." Cassie told him sadly, twisting slightly to look at him and clutching her side at the sharp pain.
"Let me see." Merlin told her gently, his hands going to her side and moving her hand away enough to lift the tunic she had on. "Oohh." he breathed in sharply, " That's really purple. You have four or five bruised ribs. One of them might be cracked."
"Can't you heal yourself?" Gwen asked her.
"Gwen, she brought a man back from the brink of death yesterday. I don't think she can." Morgana told her with an incredulous chuckle, still refusing to believe what she'd done.
"I can try, but I won't do much." Cassie told them, taking shallow breaths. "Th-there is something else I haven't told you."
"What now?" Arthur asked, scoffing incredulously as they heard rustling from behind them and they all looked and drew their swords.
"Majestad! Majestad! Le encontre!" a man shouted from the trees to the east, shouting over his shoulder at his companions and waiting for two men to walk forward. The moment she saw the older of the two she straightened up and put on a mask to hide the pain.
"Mi Reina, por fin la encontramos." he said, getting down on one knee and putting his hand over his heart.
"Cassie, what's going on?" Arthur asked warily, walking in front of her and demanding an answer, his sword limp at his side.
"Miro. ¿Qué hace aquí? Pensé que había muerto co-con todos." Cassie greeted him, standing up and looking at him regally.
"Estuve a punto, pero me encontraron, me salvaron la vida unos plebeyos que buscaron por todos lados." he answered, showing her his wrists and the angry scars that still stood out red against his skin.
"Me alegro que lo hayan salvado." Cassie said in a tremulous voice, standing straight as his companion walked up slowly and looked at her with wide eyes. "¿Como me encontro?"
"El soldado, tiene magia. No es muy potente como la suya, pero la pudo encontrar de todas formas." Miro answered while his companion stared at her slightly open-mouthed.
"I can't believe I'm seeing you with my own eyes. I had given up hope until Witteric's informant said you were alive. You are more beautiful than I could have ever imagined, my Lady."
"I-I'm sorry, who are you?" Cassie asked him, looking at him with a furrowed brow.
"I apologise, Your Majesty. I am Gundemar, Duke of Narbonne and your betrothed." he said, reaching her and gently kissing her hand without breaking eye contact with her.
"My Lord," she said hastily, looking in panic at Gwen and Morgana before remembering herself and curtseying to him, hiding the pain behind a forced smile. "I am afraid you are no longer my betrothed."
"There is a binding contract. You brother, King Reccared, signed it as well as both yours and my Court Scribe. You are my betrothed." he told her, his grip tightening momentarily before letting her go and backing up to a respectful distance.
"I demand you tell me what's going on, Cassie." Arthur said angrily, turning sideways and tightening his grip on the hilt of his sword.
"How dare you speak to Queen Casiopea in such a crude manner! You shall treat royalty with the respect they deserve!" Gundemar said, drawing his sword and holding it at Arthur's throat as Arthur did the same in reaction.
"Duke! Stop! He is royalty, and he did not know of my identity. You harm him or anyone else and I will see it as a personal affront and an act of war!" Cassie said, stepping in front of Arthur protectively.
"If he is royalty, why is he dressed in such a manner? Why are you dressed in such manner unbeffiting a Queen!?"
"I am not royalty in these lands, my Lord." Cassie told him, ignoring the intense pain burning along her side at her sudden movements and the nausea that came with it.
"Nonsense, you are royalty everywhere!" he said angrily.
"Duke, why are you here?" Cassie said in a tired voice, stopping him from continuing to berate an already impatient Arthur.
"This may come as a surprise to you, my Queen, but there is a bounty on your head." he answered, looking at her gravely and failing to notice the way she stiffened at his words.
"I am well aware of this." Cassie answered stiffly, her voice tense and her face even paler as Arthur looked at her incomprehensibly.
"Witteric has sent assassins after you, Your Majesty. You must come with us. We can protect you far better than they ever could. Your people need you." Miro said, imploring her.
"Lo siento, Miro. Mi hogar está aquí. Y ha sido más hogar en el poco tiempo que llevo que toda mi vida en Reccopolis." Cassie told him with sad eyes.
"Then I am afraid I must tell you that you have no choice in the matter, Majesty. You are in breach of the contract. And as sovereign of the land that made the agreement, you are needed to settle the matter." Gundemar said seriously, glaring at Arthur as he scoffed and rolled his eyes.
"There is no need for that, my Lord Duke." Cassie said, reaching up slowly and taking off her necklace with a wince. She slid the trunk out of the chain and pricked her thumb to open it. "Be min æðeling, geopene ond forþgelæde." Cassie murmured, getting down on her knees as she felt light headed and digging in the trunk for something.
"What are you doing, Your Majesty?" Gundemar asked curiously, having seen very little magic himself, Prince Arthur was also apprehensively curious, backing away and standing protectively in front of Morgana.
"Íc i āhāte, bewerigend þæm stántorre, becum ed underiernan." Cassie said out loud instead, sitting back on her heels and waiting for him to show up, repeating the incantation with more force after a few minutes of waiting and closing her glowing eyes as the world spun dangerously.
"You know, Cassie, I am a patient man. Really I am, but interrupting me and my wife as you just did is uncalled for. I have half a mind to-" Gildas greeted shirtless and dishevelled, going up to her with a waving finger and not seeing everyone else as he told her off. "Oh." he said, dropping his hand to his side as he realised they had company.
"Yes. Oh. I need you to do me a favour." Cassie said, looking at him meaningfully.
"I-I'll be back!" he said, his eyes slightly panicked and his face red with embarrassment.
"Your Majesty, who was that man? And why is he dressed in such a… revealing fashion?" Miro asked, looking at her as if seeing a stranger.
"I'm back, what do you need?" he asked worriedly, noting how pale she looked.
"I need you to draft a magically and legally binding document." Cassie told him.
"All right." he said, muttering a few words and conjuring a podium, a thick piece of parchment and a quill.
"Majesty, what is the meaning of this? Who are these people?" Gundemar asked, watching cautiously as the two sorcerers spoke to each other in whispered tones.
"I am discussing something. I will let you know in a moment." Cassie answered him, turning back around and looking at where Arthur stood protectively in front of Morgana and Gwen.
"Was he going to kill you?" Gildas asked in a whisper.
"Not him, no. He was just enforcing his father's law. Come." Cassie answered sadly, going up to them slowly with Gildas trailing along behind her, keeping his distance from Arthur.
"What else have you been keeping from us?" Arthur demanded in a low voice, low enough that the foreigners wouldn't hear him and vehemently ignoring the sorcerer behind her. "Consorting with a sorcerer?!"
"I am planning on abdicating. I need a witness. Someone of royal blood and good repute, my Lord. Will you be my witness?" Cassie asked him instead, her voice wavering as she swayed slightly.
"I suppose I have to, don't I?" he answered finally after a few moments of looking into her eyes.
"No, you don't." Cassie answered him. "I'm not forcing you to."
"Why don't you have him heal you? You're clearly not well. And he has magic." Arthur asked her in a worried voice, reaching out and holding her in place before she shrugged his hands off, leaving him looking hurt.
"I hadn't thought of it." Cassie admitted, looking at the floor at the sound of his voice and back up at Gildas. "Will you?"
"You know I'm no good at healing, Cassie."
"Please, Gildas. Arth-Prince Arthur's right. I can barely stand."
"Cassie, I'm sorry. You know I would, you're my friend. But I'm horrible at healing magic. You know my magic is better suited for the elements."
"Please, heal her." Morgana said bravely, looking at him with wide, worried green eyes.
"Ġehǣlan." he said after a miffed sigh, his eyes glowing quickly and the colour returning to Cassie's face as the pain subsided.
"I apologise for the use of magic in front of you, Prince Arthur." Cassie said in a much stronger voice, even if she still had pain in her side. "Will you be my witness?"
"I don't know. Magic is involved, Cassie. I ca-"
"I understand." Cassie said sadly, turning to go back but being stopped by Morgana's soft hand.
"I'll sign."
"You don't have royal blood. Even if you're treated like a Princess and practically siblings with Arthur. The contract would be invalid." Cassie told her, quickly thinking of another way to do it.
"I suppose I will sign." Arthur relented, his friendship with her, the moments they'd shared, winning out over his reluctance to have anything to do with magic.
"Thank you, Arthur." Cassie said gratefully, turning too quickly and feeling the stinging pain shoot up.
"I'm sorry! I told you I was terrible at healing. All I did was take away the pain, apparently." Gildas answered as her face paled once more.
"It's fine. You have your job to do. One you're good at." Cassie told him, taking in a shaky breath and walking forward with her mask back in place.
"¿Su Majestad? ¿Todo bien?" Miro asked, observing her stiff stance and not recognizing the carefree girl from only a few years prior.
"Si, gracias, Miro. I have asked Gildas to draft a legally and magically binding document, my Lord Duke."
"What for?" he asked her, his brows furrowed in confusion.
"I am in breach of the contract my brother signed. I cannot marry you. As such, you should be compensated."
"I refuse any compensation! I was promised you as my wife. And that is what I will get!" he replied, his voice angry even if he held his countenance.
"Listen to my proposal, Duke. You might like it." Cassie told him patiently. "As you have stated, I am in breach of contract. My brother promised my hand to you in matrimony. He died the following day and I left. I am no longer Princess Casiopea. And am no longer able to wed you."
"You are Queen Casiopea, and I pledge life and limb to your service, my Queen." he told her vehemently, kneeling in front of her.
"I am proposing, as compensation for my hand in matrimony, to name you as my rightful successor. I heard about the way you lead your dukedom, and have been told that you are a just and righteous man. Will you, Duke of Narbonne, accept this?"
"You are certain? You wish to abdicate the throne? It is your birthright." he said, his eyes clouded with confusion and scepticism.
"I am. Do you accept?"
"I have conditions of my own." Gundemar told her, looking at her entourage and back at her.
"Speak. I am listening."
"If you wish to abdicate the throne, and your mind cannot be changed…" he started, waiting for her reaction to continue. "Then I must insist you are present for the ceremony. And, after we capture Witteric and his accomplices, you must be present for their trial and judgement."
"What if I refuse?"
"Then we will forcibly take you back, my Queen. I confess we were not expecting this from you, but we came prepared to fight whomever so that you can be brought back to your rightful place."
"I have no choice?"
"No. You do not."
"Very well." Cassie said quietly, closing her eyes and steeling herself for what must be done. "Then I will consider that an attempt against me. Miro… as your Queen, arrest him."
"Your Majesty?" he asked her, looking startled and conflicted.
"That's an order!" Cassie told him angrily, her eyes flashing golden in warning even though all she did was stir the air a little.
"Yes, Your Majesty." he said, obediently detaining the duke and looking at her for his next orders.
"Duke? Unless you are open to negotiation, our business will be finished. You will remain detained until such time as I see fit. I do not wish to do this, but you have forced me to this ultimatum."
"Cassie…" Morgana began, shocked at what she was hearing and quieting down at the look she got from both Arthur and Cassie.
"Your decision?"
"I am open for negotiation." he said through gritted teeth.
"Good. Miro, suéletlo!" Cassie ordered, asking Gildas to conjure up a chair and sitting there in relief.
"You may begin, Queen Casiopea." he said deferentially, sitting opposite her in the other chair Gildas had conjured and looking at her stonily.
"Nothing will change my mind, Gundemar. I have decided to abdicate. The question here is whether or not you will accept being my successor. I sincerely hope you do. My brother found you good enough to marry me, he- he held you in high esteem."
"What of my conditions do you find unjust? Your life was in Reccopolis, your family. It can be once again. Marry me, let us rule over your people together."
"Marrying is out of the question, Gundemar. I am already married."
"To whom?"
"To whom I am married is none of your concern, my dear Duke. That particular condition is off the table."
"Then tell me, why do you refuse to go back?"
"I-I have a family here. A life." Cassie answered, keeping the grief and guilt out of her face as she said so.
"Bring them. I need not be your consort to be your ally. All I want is to see your glorious Kingdom restored to what it was under your brother and your father's rule. The current ruler is a vicious tyrant that dictates everything!"
"Surely you are better equipped for that task. You are the better diplomat, better fighter. You have watched your father rule Narbonne well, govern Septimania well. He has kept that city strong and prosperous."
"I see a strong leader before me. A talented diplomat. Why do you prefer to stay here? Why must you insist, my Queen?"
"I am much happier here than I ever was there. However, my happiness is not the only thing influencing my decision, Duke Gundemar. I am not the best person to lead the Kingdom. I have never studied or learnt about state affairs. I believe you have, I believe you are."
"Then come, see to my coronation. Formally abdicate the throne in your homeland. Mete out justice."
"My life is here."
"That is my only condition to accept the throne, Your Majesty." Gundemar said, sitting back and crossing his arms, staring at her challengingly.
"Miro!" Cassie said, staring at Gundemar in the same manner.
"Si, Majestad?" he asked, bowing low.
"Dime, ¿lo piensas un hombre justo y noble?" she asked her brother's best friend, speaking to him the way she used to speak with him.
"El Duque es honorable. No se equivoca nombrandolo Rey, Majestad." Miro answered, ignoring the shock of the soldiers behind him.
"Then I really have no choice." she said, her eyes glowing as twenty clinking bags and a seal came flying out of her trunk and landed beside her on the ground. "The quill, Gildas."
"My Lady." he said, brandishing the quill and bowing respectfully.
"I, Queen Casiopea Flavia of Hispania and Septimania do hereby abdicate the throne. I name as my successor Duke Gundemar of Narbonne, and will cede the throne and Crown to him upon the trial and execution of the Usurper King, Witteric. As proof, I give to him the royal seal of Hispania and Septimania, forged for my great-grandfather when our family first took the throne. I give him, also, the royal crest of the House of Flavia and the contents of the private vaults. Do you, Duke Gundemar, accept the throne and all the responsibilities that come with it?" Cassie dictated as she wrote in her refined script.
"I accept, Your Majesty." he answered, getting down on one knee and bowing his head in deference.
"Then it is done. Sign here." she said, leading him to the podium and handing him the quill, taking it back and signing once he had finished. "Prince Arthur of Camelot, do you accept witnessing this abdication as a royal of good repute?"
"I do, Queen Casiopea.'' he said formally, walking forward to where she held the quill out for him.
"And do you agree that negotiations were done fairly?"
"I do."
"Sign here."
"Yes, Your Majesty." he said, signing his name with a flourish and straightening up with a regal look, his face impassive as he walked back in front of Morgana.
"Miro, as General of the Army and close friend to the late King Lluvia, will you witness?"
"It would be my honour, Your Majesty." he said respectfully, bowing deeply and walking up slowly to sign.
"Then, my last act as Queen of Hispania and Septimania is bestowing upon you, Duke Gundemar of Narbonne, the Crown." Cassie said, standing up and opening one of the bags and taking out her brother's crown. "Gundemar, I hereby name you King of Hispania and Septimania. ¡Larga vida al Rey!" she said, her voice carrying to all the soldiers in front of her as she placed the crown on his head and knelt before him, watching as he rose and bowed his head respectfully at her.
"Let us leave for Reccopolis, then. Get our Kingdom back." Gundemar said, holding his arm out for her to take and smiling at her. "Princess, your home awaits."
"King Gundemar, wait. I wish to say goodbye." Cassie told him softly, looking back at the family she was leaving.
"I understand. I will have one of the men accompany you and bring you back with your husband."
"There's no need for that." Cassie said quickly, not wanting him to realise she could marry him and furiously whispering into Merlin's mind to just play along as she walked back to where her family stood. "Merlin, please, just go with it. You owe me, Emrys. I beg you. My Lord, thank you for everything." Cassie told Arthur once she reached him.
"You would have let me kill you, wouldn't you?" he asked her quietly.
"I might have." Cassie answered with tears in her eyes, her lips trembling. "If they hadn't shown up, I would have let you fulfil your duty to your Kingdom. Let you lead me to Camelot. To my death, but I am unsure if I would have stayed for the execution. My instinct to run has always been greater than the one to stay. I cannot say for certain I would have died. And I cannot say for certain I would have had the strength to run."
"I couldn't have you executed now. You're royalty. And always welcome in Camelot." he told her, bowing respectfully and averting her gaze.
"I hope you mean that and aren't just saying it diplomatically." Cassie told him in a soft voice, letting the tears spill over and curtseying in front of him.
"He does." Morgana told her, her voice cracked and her smile watery as she hugged Cassie tightly and let go quickly at the sharp intake of breath. "I'm sorry."
"I'll miss you, 'Gana. You and Gwen. Regardless of whatever's happened the last few weeks, I love you like sisters." Cassie told them both, hugging them lightly, mindful of the injury.
"We love you too, Cassie. You'll always have a special place in our hearts." Gwen told her sweetly, wiping her face as the tears fell.
"Goodbye, Gwen." Cassie said, sniffling and wincing in regret. "Goodbye, 'Gana."
"Bye, Cassie." they said softly, watching as she walked up to Merlin.
"Merlin."
"Cassie." he said awkwardly, not knowing what she wanted to do.
"Let us talk over there." she told him, leading him over weakly and sitting down on the treestump she'd been on earlier, her back facing the people behind her. "Please, pretend to be my husband. I don't want Gundemar knowing I am widowed."
"Of course. Whatever you need." he said, taking her lightly by the hand and kneeling in front of her.
"You need to trust them more, Merlin. He'll surprise you. I know it and you know it."
"You're his friend and he was willing to-"
"No! He wasn't!" Cassie told him fervently, making it look like she was telling her husband she'll be back. "He- I learned- I am- okay, why is this still so hard?" Cassie asked, taking a deep breath and regretting it. "I can look into his mind, and he felt betrayed, angry, confused, upset; but he never thought about anything other than his princely duties. He just wanted the people of your village to think so in case it ever got back to Camelot. He cannot risk being caught in a treasonous act, or betraying his father. By anyone. He's a good man, Merlin. Trust him."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, he has a pure heart. Just let him prove it to you." Cassie told him, wincing as she moved harshly and the blood dropped out of her face.
"I thought your friend healed you?" he said worriedly.
"No, he just took the pain away. For a minute or so. He's really terrible at healing." Cassie said with a repressed chuckle, making her face scrunch up in pain even more. "Great at teaching phrenic magic quickly, though. It took me less than a week to learn how to read minds."
"I can try and heal you, what was the incantation? Ġehǣlan?"
"Yeah." Cassie said with a pained nod.
"Ġehǣlan." he whispered, closing his eyes and holding his hand over her ribs, his forehead against her as he healed her.
"Thank you." Cassie said gratefully, breathing in deeply without pain for the first time in what felt like forever. "C-can you do something else? Can you conjure a paper and something to write with?"
"I don't know how." he said apologetically.
"There's many incantations for this, but I can't think of them right now. Just close your eyes and think about it really hard. Picture it clearly and will it." Cassie told him, patting the stump and having him sit next to her. "Thanks." she told him when he had it in his hands.
"Do you-do you want me to give you privacy?"
"No, Gundemar will figure it out if you go."
"Okay, I'll just look over there." he said lamely as she wrote.
"I'll have to kiss you now." Cassie said sadly as she folded the parchment a few minutes later.
"Morgana's not going to be happy about that." Merlin told her with a chuckle, his smile nervous.
"No, she's not."
"Here goes, then." Merlin said, leaning in and giving her a chaste kiss.
"Goodbye, Merlin." Cassie told him, her hand going up to his face and caressing it gently. "You're a good friend."
"Do you like him?" Morgana asked, her jealousy barely hidden in front of Arthur.
"No. I just needed him to convince Gundemar he's my husband." Cassie answered her reassuringly, turning to Arthur and looking at him closely. "I need to ask you another favour, my Lord. Will you give this to Sir Leon? Please."
"Does he know?" he asked simply, taking the folded letter from her and tucking it into his coin purse.
"Please don't make me answer that?" Cassie told him with tears falling down her face.
"Don't answer it. Safe trip, Princess." he told her, his jaw clenched as he realised the answer and bowing respectfully.
"Thank you, Prince Arthur." Cassie told him, curtseying once more and turning to go to Gundemar with tears streaming down her face.
"The balck haired one is your husband? He is but a peasant."
"Yes, but one I love. I am ready to leave."
"Aren't you forgetting that one?" he said, nodding at Gildas leaning against a tree with his arms crossed.
"Gildas, yeah. Excuse me a moment, Your Majesty."
"Of course." he said, waving her away.
"Were you forgetting me?" he asked with a friendly smirk.
"I was hoping, actually, that you and your wife might accompany me?" Cassie invited him, looking up at him with vulnerable eyes.
"I'll speak with her. You have a long journey ahead. I'll catch up and tell you her decision." he said, kissing her cheek and disappearing without another word.
"I am ready now." Cassie said sadly, walking up to King Gundemar and nodding at him.
"I thank you for accepting my terms, Princess. You would have made your people a wonderful Queen." he said, bowing to her and turning to his army. "Vámonos!"
"You're not reading that!" Morgana said indignantly as she noticed Arthur breaking the seal, Cassie long gone from view.
"Yes, I am." Arthur said, ignoring Morgana and opening the folded pages.
"Dear Arthur,
I know why you're reading this. It pains me to admit to myself that I deceived you. I only wish I'd had the strength to tell you everything before you found out. I only wish I'd ignored all the times I was interrupted, ignored the pounding in my chest as I saw what my future would look like if your father had overheard me confessing to you. Or your sister. Thank you dearly for being a loyal friend, and for being a man of principles. I know sentencing me to death must have been hard for you, even if you never did it. And I realise that there's nothing I can say to change what you think of magic. Nor do I wish to change who you are, or the way you think. Just know, I had no option but to learn; and my magic has been one of my only constants ever since I was a young child. Arthur… I consider you a brother. Family. And I love you dearly for it. Please forgive me for lying to you. I know not if we'll ever see each other again, but I sincerely hope that if and when we do, you'll greet me like old friends and not enemies. Please give my letter to Sir Leon, I promise there's nothing treasonous in its contents, you need not read it.
Your grateful friend and ally,
Casiopea."
"What's it say?" Merlin asked as he saw the emotion flit across Arthur's face before he became impassive once again.
"Doesn't matter." Arthur answered, putting the page at the back and ignoring her request to leave the letter unread.
"My dearest Knight,
I do not know how to begin this. I do not know if I should even be writing this. My heart yearns for you, and at the same time it rebels against the thought of you. It's conflicted, I'm conflicted, and there is a schism in my head that wishes to stop thinking. About you, about Owaine, about Arthur. About everything. How I wish I were there right now! Telling you all this in person. How I wish I could look into your eyes and see your reaction, get your advice. Be consoled by your gentle words, embraced by your strong arms. Cry into your shoulder as you soothe my fear and sadness like you've done so many times before. But alas, fate does not want it so. Fate can be a cruel mistress; she does as she pleases and cares not how broken-hearted I am left. After Owaine and Iorwerth, I never thought I could smile again, I didn't think I deserved to be happy when neither of them had an opportunity to be so. I felt bereft. Broken. And so very alone. But Owaine's family, my family, helped me see that's not the way the world works. And then you. With your charming smile, and your gentle eyes, you broke through the wall I had hastily constructed. You made me vulnerable, my good Sir Knight. And now I cannot have you. I cannot risk my heart for my head's constant words against it. I cannot know if I feel for you the way you feel for me. In truth I do not know how I feel, Sir Leon. I am being pulled in every direction and part of me just wishes to stay in the emptiness. But I know that doing so will hurt everyone I love. And it will insult the memory of Owaine and Iorwerth. All I know is what a brave, noble man you are. And I truly hope you never doubt that ever again.
I am truly sorry. I cannot say that enough. I know I promised you maybe, and now I'm reneging on that promise. I wish I could stay, heal here with you. All that I can think of is that bittersweet kiss we shared a few nights ago, the promise of a potential future that hung between us. The promise of happiness, bittersweet and longing as it may be. I wish so many things that just cannot be true. So I wish to ask you one final favour: forget me. Move on, be happy, start a family. Do all the things I can never do. I wish for you to be happy, Sir Knight, and I hope you can grant me this one wish. Please, my darling Leon, be happy."
"She certainly has a way with words." Arthur muttered to himself, folding up the letter and putting it in his pocket. "Let's head out, get at least some distance travelled today." Arthur said, mounting his horse and taking off at a brisk pace, not waiting for them to follow as they mounted and took the reins of Cassie's horse.
"Arthur, wait!" Morgana called out as they lost sight of him through the brush, making camp and travelling the rest of the way in complete silence.