Goodbyes

Sometimes I get the strongest urge to smoke a cigarette. Odd considering I've only ever tried it when drinking. I think it's a coping mechanism some have, or maybe it's the smoke smell getting to me. I stand on the sidewalk just staring at the ashes, the total loss of not only my business but 2 others that were attached. My gaze is mainly on the photo of her. The sea of flowers and gifts as a memorial for her. My stomach is fragile from the constant morning sickness. Looking at Jessica's photo makes it worse. Her death was my fault. "This is why you never got close to anyone" I tell myself.

From years of only having my teammates, I knew not to drag anyone into my life, knowing this could happen. Knowing my abilities and name could end their lives. I shiver with the April morning crisp. "We can rebuild, but who does that on top of a grave?" I sigh looking at Richard.

He nods his head understanding. "We've been standing here for an hour Rae, I know you're not in a good place right now honey. But let's go eat breakfast. I know your stomach is hurting and it'll help. We can come right back."

"I'm not hungry" I hold back tears.

"You need to eat for the baby" he places his hand on my back.

"I'll never do this again Richard." I breath out shakey, shutting my eyes.

"Do what.?" He asks.

"Get close to another soul. I should have never." I sigh, "the Shadow Book Cafe is dead along with Jessica. I don't want to rebuild."

"Don't decide anything right now, you're emotional." He reminds me.

"Yeah, since when did I cry so much. I have got to get myself in check. My emotions are so bad" I gently laugh. "I need to start walling them up, like in the good days."

"I like you with feelings Rae." He smiles, "you're not as hard to read"

"Easy to read, is weakness sometime." I sigh. He nods knowing what I mean "let's go eat." I turn towards the rental car.

Richard opens my door allowing me to step inside. I sit and carefully put my hand on my belly just looking at the flat area. I feel a slight bloat, knowing this thing inside of me is already starting to change my body. I sigh with Richard sliding into the drivers seat. He drives down the street to a local diner and pulls in. We head inside securing a booth and hastily ordering. As we wait for my toast and eggs I make a quick prayer to Azarath that it will stay down.

"So now what Rae." He sips his coffee. I sigh knowing we have to have this conversation.

"He left my house untouched."

" I know" dick stares at his coffee.

"He left it for me to rebuild and stay here.. or knowing him. He left it hoping I'd be spooked into moving away."

"I was thinking about both options." He agreed looking me in the eyes. His blue eyes feel heavy with emotion and lack of sleep.

"So what do we do." I sigh, "because I can't be without you Richard."

"We go completely opposite." He sighs. "We're moving to Gotham. Where we have more protection. And Slade is not comfortable there with Damian."

"Still find it odd that the man who toyed with us during our teenage years is connected to the bay family crime." I look down at the food just delivered.

"He knew the plan for the aire to the league of assassins would be Bruce's. He had to make sure to make his name known in the Bat family before hand. The man is a planner." He bites into his toast as his fork plunges into his omelet.

The toast goes down smooth but I'm scared to try the eggs and push the plate forward, "Dick if I eat them I'll be sick. I'm okay with toast right now"

"Okay babe." He smiles, "I wish I could help with your morning sickness." I nod as I sip on the water.

"I never pictured myself as a mom. I honestly didn't think I could have kids." I smile. "I guess sometimes the human half of me is stronger. Did you tell Bruce about the baby?"

"Rachel, it's been 5 days since I found out and I've been fighting to protect you since. No." He smiles.

"I guess you got a point." I sigh. "We'll arrange for my shit to be packed and moved and then sell my house."

"You don't have to sell it, we can come back anytime." He assured me.

I slowly stand to make my way to the bathroom. "There's nothing left for me in Seattle, Dick." I brush past him with a light smile.

Finishing breakfast we head back to my home. The place feels empty now even though it's the same as I left it. I guess it just doesn't feel the same without the cafe to run and consume my energy. Dick carry's in some boxes, sitting them on the couch. He looks around at my home. He's never been here before. When he found me I was just in an apartment. I sit down on the glider in the front room admiring his wandering eyes. My stomach fusses and I snap my eyes shut. Hoping I'm not about to be sick again. "Is it normal to throw up multiple times a day like this?" I pant leaning over to grab the trash can in case. Dick walks forward into my kitchen. I hear him looking in cabinets as I try not to hurl.

"Here" he hands me some crackers from my cabinet. "This should help soak up some of the acid in your stomach. I hesitantly take them and start nibbling on them. After a few minutes my nausea is still heavy but I don't feel like I have to puke.

"Thank you" I sigh looking at the crackers.

"We're you talking to me or the crackers?" Dick laughs.

"Mainly the crackers, but whatever works" I smile. He shakes his head walking away surveying the house. I hear a loud sigh. "What honey?"

"He left you a gift, let's go. It's not safe here." He storms in.

"What?" I get up.

"You don't need to see it, let's go." He grabs my hand trying to push me to go.

"No I wanna see." I walk towards my bedroom.

"Please don't Rae." He begs trying to grasp my hips.

I open the door looking into the room. "Is that?" I gasp.

"Yes, I think so" he grabs hold shutting the door. My eyes widen as I turn looking at him.

"He cut her womb out and delivered it to me." I cover my mouth.

"I warned you." He grabs ahold of my arm. I walk with him not focusing on anything, in a blur. We get out the front door and I'm sick. I lean over wrenching all over my side walk.

"It's a warning Dick.! I gasp, "he's going to do it to me".

"No he won't, he's never touching you or our baby." His jaw is tight. "Hang on." He walks back inside..a few moments later he walks out with a trash bag filled with my bed sheets, he's on the phone. "Yes I need everything packed today and shipped to Gotham." He puts the bag in the rental cars trunk. "Perfect, I'll email you the address."

I straighten looking at my puddle of vial. I look up at Richard as he closes the trunk. And walks towards me. "We have to kill him now. Before he kills them." I touch my belly.

"I'm already on it" he sighs.