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Chapter Five.

"Senji-Chan~"

"Senji-Chan~"

"Senji!" They yelled causing the man to jump. The brunette turned quickly and saw that their co-worker was glaring at them.

"Umm..." He said smartly.

"Geez Senji-Chan I've been calling you for like three minutes." The person whined. Senji blushed slightly and itched the back of his neck embarrassed.

"Oh." he said. "Sorry Gin..." Gin was their cook. He had long sliver-ish grey hair that he kept in a kind of neat high "man bun" and striking ice blue eyes. The man was as tall as Senji, but about six years older. He was a very hyper and giddy person. Always hugging and jumping on everyone he meets, despite the other persons obvious discomfort. Gin was also very playful and flirtatious towards girls and guys alike, mainly targeting Senji when no one else was around, much to the brunette's dismay. The man could always go a bit over bored with his antics, but he was still a nice guy.

Senji watched as his co-worker's glare turn to concern.

"Have you been doing ok?" Gin asked. "You been zoning out a lot lately, like more than usual." He was right, The brunette been zoning out a lot. It had been happening with him a lot lately at home and here at work. He knew he should really get it under control.

Last week, he almost cooked a sponge.

Yuri was not happy about that.

It was just he was little worried about certain purple-eyed beauty. He had not seen or heard from the raven for two whole months. Lelouch had never gone this long without coming to the diner before. He wanted to go see about him, but he didn't know if that would be a good idea. He didn't wanna go there worried and the small male was just fine, that would just be embarrassing.

"Maybe his just avoiding me..." The brunette thought sadly. He couldn't blame him if he was. He was sure it would have been awkward for him to see the guy that tried to kiss him. He knew that he had apologize and Lelouch had accepted it even saying that they could still be friends, but it was still easier said then done to more past it. He was sure know that raven knew of his feelings and that it wasn't just a mistake. Maybe they couldn't even be friends after all. It made Senji's heart drop at that idea. It looked like his worse fear was happening.

He had lost him.

He had lost the light of his life.

"Senji-Chan?" Gin called when the other didn't answer his question.

"I'm fine just haven't been getting a lot of sleep." He lied quickly.

"Awwww~ My poor Senji-Chan!" He exclaimed hugging the brunette rubbing their cheeks together affectionately. A dark blush taking Senji's cheeks.

"U-ummm p-please stop." He said embarrassed. This always felt so awkward, even after all this time.

"Awww~ You're blushing!" Gin said hugging the other tighter. "Soooo~ cute!"

"Oooh come on now Gin." Senji said as he tried to push the other off of him.

"Gin." The cook halted his movements and looked over to see how called him. It was his boss Yuri and he didn't look pleased. "Let him go."

"Awww~ but we just having a little fun~" He purred as he pinched his co-workers red cheek.

"Kicthen, now." The sliver haired man groaned in disappointment and let the younger man go.

'Fine." He said and walked into the back mumbling about how Yuri "Always had to ruin his fun." Yuri, unaffected by the mans whining, walked towards his young employee.

"Thanks..." Senji said, but the blonde had waved it off. He was use to pulling the overly affectionate man off of Senji. It was a bit of routine at this point.

"It's fine." he said in monotone. Senji nodded. It was always Yuri who seem to be the only one that Gin would listen too. "You've been zoning out again." He stated in a matter of fact tone.

"Sorry I'll get it under control, promise." The brunette promised, but he wasn't all too sure he could.

"You need to stop thinking about it." He stated, his tone still monotone. Senji looked down sadly and nodded. Yuri was one of the only people, the other being Lloyd, that knew about what had happen between him and Lelouch. He had told him after he had almost cooked the sponge last week and Yuri was scolding him about it. He didn't really want anyone to know, but he felt a little better talking about it. Just a little.

"I know, but I just..." He couldn't stop thinking about. Lelouch was all he thought about and now it looked like he was gone. Yuri sighed lightly and put his hand on his shoulder.

"It will work out." He said. "You have to have faith in these things." Senji nodded knowing Yuri was right. He always was, but he didn't know how to have faith all he felt was dread and sadness that he may have lost the light of his life.

"But I don't know how..." Senji said sadly. "I feel like I really messed up this time Yuri."

"I'm sure you didn't." Yuri said, his tone the same like it always was, but Senji knew he cared and he was thankful.

"But..."

"You'll be fine." He said a very small smirk coming to face then the man turned around and began to walk away. "Now get back to work, that corner is still dirty." Senji nodded and watched as the older man walked into the back, probably to make sure Gin wasn't goofing off or messing with Brooky. The brunette went back to wiping down the counter.

"Faith... I have to have faith..." Senji thought. He wasn't sure how to do that, but he had to try, because this was eating him up inside. He couldn't sleep, he couldn't eat, all he could think about was how bad he sure he had messed up. He didn't want to think about the bad, he only wanted to be positive and think that he was going see Lelouch again and everything would go back to normal, but he sure it wouldn't. He was sure he ruined everything, because he couldn't keep his feelings in check.

He sighed.

"I really suck..."

Just than he heard the bell above the door chime letting him know someone had entered. He looked up from the counter to see who it was and to his surprise, it was his roommate Lloyd.

"Lloyd? What are you doing here?" He asked as the bespectacled man walked up to the counter and had a sit.

"What I can't come and see you?" He asked sounding a little offended. Senji sighed, pretty sure the man only came for was free pudding or something. Lloyd rarely ever came to his place of work "just to see him", it was always something.

And mainly free food was involved.

"I guess..." He said unsure. Lloyd gave him a smirk.

"So how has it been? Still cooking sponges?" Lloyd asked as he propped his chin in his hand. Senji blushed. He should have never told him about that.

"I-It was one time!" He yelled at the man who chuckled at his roommates embarrassment.

"Sure~ it was." He said like he didn't believe him.

"I-It was!" He insisted. "Is this the why you're here, to make fun of me?" Lloyd laughed and shook his head. He had come for another reason, but he wouldn't tell the other that.

"I hear yelling." A bored voice said. Senji and Lloyd looked to see who had it was and saw that it was Yuri. "What is it?" Yuri looked around and saw that it was his employee's roommate, Lloyd clearly causing it.

It wasn't usual to see the Lavender haired man here from to from and he had gotten use to his presence here at the diner. He would come here, usually looking for free food, mainly, pudding and he would end up giving it to him. He didn't mind really, he didn't anything too bothersome and he wasn't a real nuisance so it was no big deal.

Plus, he was kind of cute to Yuri.

"Lloyd." He said in monotone like a greeting. A light blush came to Lloyd's cheeks and he looked away from the blonde totry and hide it.

"Yuri." He muttered back with an annoyed look on his face. A small smirk came to Yuri's lips, he had already seen the blush. But he said nothing about as he turned around to go back to kitchen seeing as it was nothing to be worried about in the front... and maybe to get the bespectacled man a pudding cup.

Senji looked back to Lloyd who still had a light blush on his cheeks.

"You ok?" He asked his friend.

"I'm Fine!" Lloyd yelled back trying to fight his blush.

Lelouch sat down on the bed he and his husband share tired. He had just cleaned the house and started dinner for his husband for when got home. His feet were sore and gladly welcomed the quick break they were being given. He was seven months now and bigger than ever, barely being able to see his feet. His pregnancy was going rather smooth, much to his joy. He was very excited that in a few more months, his little bot or girl was going to be here and he could hold them.

"Just a few more month to go." He thought happily. He put his hand on his stomach and rubbed it gently. "I need to start thinking of a name for you." He said. "Baby won't do when you get here." He laid down on his side and continued to rub his round tummy. He laid there and thought about several different names, but none came to mind. He sighed.

"Oh I don't know what to name you..." He groaned. He was never that creative, so it was hard for him to think of anything. "Maybe I should ask daddy." He quickly shook that idea out on his head. His husband wouldn't help him with something he would deem so trivial.

Speaking of his husband...

The other had been very short with him since he came back and it had all started from when he saw Lelouch with Senji in the front of their home. The raven felt a cold chill go down his spine at the memory.

His foot wasn't even through the door, before Suzaku had grabbed him by his neck and pulled him inside. The brunette had kicked the door closed and pinned Lelouch to the nearest wall. Eyes wide, he began to struggle to loosen the tight grip on his throat.

"Stop." Suzaku commended. His voice cold and dripping with venom making Lelouch stop his struggling and stare at his husband fearfully. "Who was that?" Lelouch gave him a confused look.

"W-what?" He asked not understanding. The brunette didn't seem to like this answer as he tightened his grip around the small males neck. Lelouch began to feel his air become slightly constricted, but he was still able to breath, just barely.

"Who. Was. That?" Suzaku said again, but slower. Lelouch, now understanding who he was talking, told him.

"T-that's Senji." He struggled to say. "H-he's my friend."

"Bullshit." The brunette said.

"H-he is I s-swear.."

"Well, he's not any more." His husband said making his eyes go wide.

"B-but-!" The hand around his throat tighten, completely cutting his air supply out. Lelouch began to gasp and struggle as he tried to get his air supply back.

"Are you disobeying me?" Suzaku asked. Lelouch shook his head, he was beginning to see black spots. "You're going to say away from him, right?" The raven nodded quickly.

"Y-yes..." He managed to get out. His husband glared at him, before letting him go. Lelouch fall to the floor and gasped for air.

"Now go do the laundry." He heard his husband say. "It's been piling up since you been gone." All Lelouch could do was nod as he heard his husband walk away from him. Tears began to flow down his cheeks faster then he could wipe them. His husband just banned him from seeing his only friend. He didn't want that, but he didn't have much of a choice. He couldn't disobey his husband, he had just gotten back. But he didn't want to lose Senji either.

"I don't know what to do..." He cried quietly on the floor.

That had been two months and he hasn't once gone to see Senji, like he promised his husband. Things between him and his husband had gone back to normal after that. Him, doing whatever a wife was to do for their husband, and him, hitting him whenever he didn't. Nothing at all had change between them. Not like Lelouch suspected that it would anyway, but for some reason everything felt much worse.

His heart always felt heavy and he couldn't even find much of a reason to smile, other than his baby and the memories him and Senji had shared. Lelouch felt a blush come to his cheeks. Even though the handsome brunette wasn't with him, he still made him smile, with just the thought of him. But with the happiness always came confusion. Lelouch couldn't pin down these feelings that arose with the thought of the brunette. His heart would flutter, his knees would shake, and always felt his face get hot.

Was he...?

Falling for Senji?

Lelouch quickly shook his head.

No he couldn't be, he was married! He could possibly fall for another man. It wasn't right!

"I can't fall for him... Not him..." Lelouch muttered to no one. It wasn't that Senji was a terrible person to fall for, it was the opposite actually and that was the problem. Senji was this amazing, caring, and loving person and Lelouch didn't deserve any of that. At a early age he had learned to take what he got and Suzaku was what he had... Even though his love for the man, that once meant the world to him, was fading.

Suzaku use be his everything, he had even dropped out of high school for him, so they could be together, and this was what he ended up with. Two long years and a million bruises later. He was here alone, and feeling insanely unhappy continuing to try and fool himself into believing that this is what he had wanted, that Suzaku was what he wanted. He sighed.

"My head hurts..." He said sadly. He didn't know what to do with himself anymore. He was falling for his friend, that now that he thinks about, wasn't even sure, if they felt the same.

"I mean... we did almost kiss..." "But could have been a "in the moment" thing." He thought. Lelouch put a pillow over his head and let out a frustrated groan.

This was so confusing! What was he to do.

"I'm in love with him..." But they could never be. Lelouch was seven months pregnant with other persons child, doesn't he own it to his child to give it parents he never had? To try and make it work so they could grow up normal? Lelouch looked down rubbed his stomach sadly. Yes this was the right thing to do.

"I guess I will be staying away from Senji-San..." Lelouch muttered sadly. He wondered if the other would be mad at him for not ever speaking to him again. Then he realized that of course he would. Just disappearing with no explaining? Who wouldn't be upset. "Maybe I should say goodbye in person." But he had promised Suzaku he would never see him again. But what if he did it really quick? Before Suzaku would notice? Lelouch looked at the time on the clock that sat on the nightstand.

It was 3:45

Suzaku didn't get off until five.

and Senji didn't get off until six.

He could make it. It was Tuesday and he knew Senji worked today.

"I need to do this... Before I lose my nerve." With that Lelouch got up and got dressed.

Senji sat at the counter his chin in his hand as he ate a off his sandwich. It was his break and the diner was pretty empty, save for one or two people. Lloyd was still there, sitting by his side eating his pudding that Yuri had got him without a care in the world. Brooky and Gin where in the back and from the sound of it having a good time. Yuri was beside them, watching Lloyd eat his pudding. Over all it was very quiet so far, nothing much for any of them to do.

"Would you like another one?" Yuri asked the lavender haired man in a bored tone. Lloyd glanced at the blonde and back to his empty pudding cup.

"Um, Yeah, here." Lloyd said and put the empty cup against his chest. "I want vanilla this time." Yuri smirked and took the pudding cup from his hand. The blonde stood up and leaned in closer to Lloyd's ear and simply whispered.

"Of course." His tone almost seductive, making Lloyd blush.

"G-get away from me!" The bespectacled man yelled swatting at the man who smirked as he walked away from the embarrassed man.

"You ok?" Senji asked as he saw his friend acting in a such a weird way.

"I'm fine!" He yelled glaring at the brunette. "Leave me alone!" Senji put his hands up defensively.

"Ok Geez!" He said. What what was going on with him? Senji had never seen his roommate act so flustered before. He was usually very collected. "What did Yuri say to you?" A light blush came to Lloyd's cheeks, but the brunette didn't notice.

"Nothing!" He yelled again. "Stop looking at me and eat your dumb sandwich!" Senji gave a strange look to his friend, before going back to eating his lunch. If Lloyd didn't want to talk about it, fine he wouldn't force it out of him.

Just then the bell chimed singling someone had entered.

Senji and Lloyd both turned around and saw that Lelouch had entered. The brunette's eyes widened as the young male smiled sadly and waved at that them. Senji jumped up from his sit and went over the him.

"Lelouch!" He said as he hugged the male. "I've been worried about you!" Lelouch hesitantly hugged the other back, resisting urge to melt into it.

"I'm sorry..." He said sadly. He felt bad for having the brunette worry about him. He should have said something to him, beside the promise he made to his husband, he owned it to him.

"It's fine, I was starting to think you were mad at me after all." The brunette said making Lelouch feel even worse.

"No I couldn't be mad at you..."

"Then were have you been?" Senji asked. Lelouch sighed and gently pushed himself away from the other. He looked down sadly.

"T-that's what I came here to talk to you about." He said quietly. Senji noticed the other sad expression and couldn't help, but worry about what he had to say.

"Is everything ok?" He asked concerned.

"Yes... No, I-I don't know." Lelouch said frustrated. He didn't know where to start. How do you tell someone you think you love, you can never see them again? It was something you could never be prepared for. Something you should never even have to do.

But he did.

"Lelouch what is it?" Senji asked. "Whatever it is, you can tell me." Lelouch looked up at Senji to see him giving him a reassuring smile, which made him see even worse.

"I-I came to tell you.. "

"Tell me what?" Lelouch couldn't take it anymore and before he could stop himself he yelled.

"W-we can't be friends anymore!" Lelouch put his hands over his mouth. Senji's eyes widen and Lloyd looked at him in surprise. Even some of the pays in the diner patrons began to stare.

"W-wha..?" Senji muttered in shock.

"I-I'm sorry I-I wanted to tell y-you better t-than this!" Lelouch told him urgently. He didn't mean to do it like this. Now everyone was l looking at them. This wasn't what he wanted.

"But w-wait why I thought-!"

"I heard yelling." Yuri said as he walked into the front, Brooky and Gin following behind him.

"Is everything ok?" Brooky asked concerned. The three took in the scene before them saw that Lelouch was here talking to Senji and they both looked distressed. They were confused and Yuri looked to Lloyd for answers.

"What is happening?" Yuri asked as he sat the pudding cup in front of the lavender haired man.

"No idea really." He said with shrug and began to open his new pudding cup. "Lelouch just came in here and told Senji he didn't want to be friends anymore." Lloyd was confused by all of this as well. He had thought they had both had feelings for each other, it was clear for him to see when Lelouch had been living with him. And here he was trying to cut of contact with him. He had always jokingly thought that they would a least have an affair or something.

This was strange.

"I'm sorry..." Lelouch said as he turned away and started to walk out of the door.

"Wait!" Senji called and followed him out the door. Everyone watched as they ran out the door without a word shared between them.

"Well," Lloyd said as he ate his pudding. "That was interesting."

"Lelouch!" Senji called, but the raven kept walking. "Lelouch!" Senji jogged closer and when he was close grabbed the others wrist, making him stop just in front of the diner's large windows. "Lelouch talk to me!"

"Please let me go!" The raven yelled, trying to take his hand back. But Senji held on. He wasn't going to let him get away without answers.

"No talk to me!" Lelouch stopped struggling, his head hanging in defeat.

"Please..." He begged quietly. "Just let me go..."

"Lelouch..."

"Just forget about me." He said sadly. "Like everyone else does..." He thought.

"I can't do that." Senji responded.

"Why...?" Lelouch asked turning to the brunette. "Why can't you just forget about me?"

"Because I-" Senji stopped. Was now the time to tell him that? The reason why his face was always red around him, the reason why he always stuttered when he was near? Was he ready for to do that? He would he risking everything he build with the raven if he did. Though it looked like everything he built was already leaving.

"Because what?" Lelouch asked. The brunette sighed. "I guess it is time."

"I... I love you Lelouch..." Senji said. "I have for a long time."

"What... no you-" Lelouch stuttered out not sure what to say. "You can't..."

"I do Lelouch," The brunette told him. "More then anything in the world." Lelouch started shaking his head.

"No, no, no..." Why had he told him that? This was suppose to be easier. His feelings for the other was suppose to be one-sided, so that ending this friendship wouldn't be as hard to do.

"Lelouch..."

"Don't tell me this..." Lelouch begged. "Don't say that love me..."

"Lelouch..." Senji said "I'm sorry, but I thought you deserved to know."

"Senji I..." "Oh god.." Lelouch thought. This wasn't suppose to happen. This was just suppose to be over, now Lelouch was feeling extremely conflicted. All he wanted to do was stay with Senji and tell him how he felt, but he knew he had to stay strong. His couldn't let his feelings overpower him. It was the right thing to do. He had to follow his head, not his heart, no matter how much he wanted to.

"And I know you feel something for me too." He said knowingly. Lelouch shook his head, but he didn't believe him. " You do."

"No..."

"You felt something that night." Senji said. "When we almost kissed." He knew he did. He knew he had felt the connection between them that night in the living room. He knew because he felt it too.

"No! I-!"

"You do, I know it!" Senji said.

Yes Ok!?" Lelouch yelled pushing away from the other. "I love you, I do!" Senji looked at him surprised. Lelouch raising his voice like that had caught him off guard.

"Lelouch I-"

"But we can't together!" Lelouch yelled. "No matter how much I want to be with you!" The raven looked down. "And I really want to..." Senji didn't say anything as grabbed Lelouch by his shoulders and pulled him close. The raven looked up at him and was greeted with deep kiss. Lelouch gasped and Senji took the opportunity to deepen the kiss. The smaller hesitantly started to kiss back, wrapping his arms around the others neck, pulling him closer.

"Why does feel so good?" Lelouch thought confused. His body felt like it was going to melt, his knees felt weak, his heart felt like it going to burst.
He had never felt like this before. Not even when Suzaku use to kiss him. After a moment Senji and Lelouch pulled back to breath.

"W-w-wow..." Lelouch muttered as he caught his breath a light blush dusting his cheeks

"Yeah..." Senji said a blush dusting his cheeks as while. "Lelouch I love you and I know your married, but I-"

"Please..." Lelouch said stopping Senji from saying what he wanted to. "Just... don't..."

"But I love you Lelouch and I want to be with you." Senji stated. "If we love each other we should try."

"I can't..." Lelouch said sadly pulling himself away from the brunette again.

"Why...?" Senji asked. "We love each other we should try.." Lelouch looked away from Senji and sighed. He wasn't sure if he should tell the brunette why exactly they couldn't be together. But he didn't want Senji to think badly of him or see him as disgusting, but seeing as was their last time seeing each other did it really matter? He was never going to see him again away, so he might as well tell him why.

"Senji..." Lelouch said nervously. "I'm... I'm pregnant..." He admitted making Senji eyes go wide,

"You're... what?" He said in disbelief.

"I'm pregnant." He repeated. "A-and I know that sounds c-crazy and hard to believe, b-but I am..."

"Lelouch I don't... What?" Senji said confused. He didn't understand. Pregnant? Men can't become pregnant right? Unless... "Are you a... woman...?"

"What? No! No im not." Lelouch told him. "I'm a guy..."

"Than who?"

"It's hard to explain..." The raven told him. "But just believe me ok?" Senji nodded.

"That's the reason why you say we can't be together?" The brunette asked and Lelouch nodded.

"I love you, but I can't be with you..." He told him sadly. "I have to make the right choice for my child." His baby deserved to know both of their parents. They should have the childhood he always wished for and have the family he never got to have.

"Lelouch I..."

"I'm sorry Senji... But this is good-bye..." Lelouch turned and walked away leaving a heartbroken Senji behind.

Meanwhile across the street in a parked car, a shadowy figure watched the whole scene between them in a rage. The person started their car and drove away, trying to control themselves.

Last chapter coming soon.

I'm almost sad to see it end,

But it must be done.