A/N: I have zero experience with couples counseling, if you hadn't already guessed. Please don't take anything I say about mental health seriously. I'm just making up a story.

Chapter Nineteen: Space

Tuesday, December 11, 1990

"There's got to be something I can do to bring my grade up, Dr. Strahn. I don't know what happened yesterday." Final exam grades had been posted on the Cultural Geography professor's door that morning.

"The semester is over, Tony. Your final paper isn't worth enough to give you higher than a C- for the semester, even if you did manage to get 100% on it."

"Extra credit? I'll do anything." Tony put on his most pathetic puppy dog eyes.

"There is one thing you could do, but it's a risk."

"I'll take a risk, Professor."

"I'm giving the same final exam you took yesterday to my evening class tonight. If you come and retake it, I'll replace this F with the new grade. Just remember, if you do worse, or if you don't submit an excellent term paper, you'll have to repeat the class."

"Thank you, Dr. Strahn. I'll be there," Tony said, rushing out the door. Five steps away he halted and returned to the doorway.

"Same lecture hall, 6pm," the professor said without looking up.

"Thank you, Professor." Tony had a few hours to cram, so he hurried to the library. Moments after sitting down at an empty table, he realized the problem with this plan and got up to use the payphone.

"Tony on line three," Mona announced.

Angela picked up the phone. "Tony?" she answered. He couldn't help but notice her high, breathy voice.

"Hi Angela. I had a little problem with one of my classes, and I need to be on campus this evening to fix it. I won't be able to make it to counseling."

"Oh, that's alright. I'll call to cancel. You can still go on Thursday, right?"

"Absolutely. Thank you for understanding."

"Of course. Good luck with everything."

Angela hung up and looked at her address book. When she called the mental health practice, she was told "I can cancel your appointment, but it's still going to be a $125 charge. Cutoff is 24 hours."

"Can I come in without my partner?"

"Who are you seeing, again?"

"Dr. Sweetin."

"Let me look. Oh, hey there Dr. Sweetin. I have Angela Bowman on the phone. She wants to know if you'll see her without her partner today. Yeah? OK. Cool."

"It's fine. We'll see you at 5:30pm."

"Thank you." Angela set the receiver back on its base. A solo session would be good. She had some concerns she didn't need Tony to hear.

About an hour later, Andy called. "Dr. Boyfriend on line two," Mona told Angela.

"Hi Andy. What do you need? I've got to get our of here on time today."

"Oh, sure, we can do dinner out tonight. Could you actually pick me up at 6:30?'

"No, not at home. I'll give you the address." Angela reached for her address book and read off the number and street. "See you then," she said, ending the call.

"Four eighty-five," the taxi driver requested.

Handing over six dollars in cash, Angela thanked the driver and got out with her purse and briefcase. She was right on time, after waiting for fifteen minutes in the taxi line.

"Welcome back. I understand Tony couldn't be with us today."

"Something came up at school. His education is very important." There was a quiver in Angela's voice.

"Are you nervous, Angela?" Dr. Sweetin asked.

"I am, a little. There are some things I'd like to discuss in private. Can I tell you something in confidence without worrying it will get back to Tony?"

"Yes, of course."

"Alright. I have a couple of concerns about my own mental health."

"I'm glad you're bringing this up."

"Well, I've abstained from drinking for ten days now. That used to be no big deal. I'd skip my one Friday martini and not even think about it until the next week. But it's not really the frequency that has me worried. I've been more irresponsible when I've been intoxicated in recent months."

"What made you decide to stop?"

"Well, a couple of weeks ago, Andy and I had an impromptu night in the city. I ended up blacking out, and he says I threw up back at our hotel room. But the next morning, we had unprotected sex."

"Do you think you may be pregnant?"

"Yes, it's possible."

"Why did you have unprotected sex, Angela?"

"Well, I've been using the sponge, but I kind of just forgot to put it in because the whole evening was unplanned. When I woke up, Andy was already touching me."

"Against your will?"

"No, I wanted it. It's just that…" Angela started to bite her nail and then put her hands in her lap and continued, "…I was having an erotic dream. About Tony."

"I can't say I'm surprised to hear that after what you shared about what happened between the two of you recently."

"But it wasn't about that. It was about something else that happened a long time ago. Something I'd forgotten about."

"I see."

"And I remembered something else yesterday."

"Something from years ago?"

"Yes. When I first got together with Andy, we had some really crazy encounters. Again, a lot of that was alcohol-fueled. And sometimes I'd get these hallucinations during sex. They weren't exactly fantasies. More like flashbacks."

"About being with Tony?"

"Yeah."

"Angela, when we met, you said that you and Tony were friends. I specifically remember you telling me that you two have never had a sexual relationship. In every session since then, you've shared additional information that supports the idea that not only have you had a sexual relationship in the past, but your current relationship is both romantic and sexual in nature."

"I'm starting to think you may be right about that."

"This memory loss concerns me. I'm wondering if it could be trauma induced."

"Like from a concussion?"

"That, or emotional trauma. Perhaps something to do with your personal relationships?"

"Oh."

"You have some idea of what that could be, don't you?"

"Maybe."

"Well, I'd like you to think about it over the next week or two. Write down any recovered memories, even if they're just fragments, and any past life events you consider traumatic."

"I can do that."

"And I'd like to get you assessed by a psychiatrist. You may have a mood disorder that is treatable with medication. My colleague should be able to get you in for an appointment in January."

"Is that really necessary?"

"It's just an assessment. You can always get another opinion later."

"Alright."

"We have a few more minutes, Do you have any other concerns?"

"No, I think that's it."

"Have you figured out Christmas?"

"Not completely. I bought presents for the family months ago, but I haven't gotten anything for Andy yet."

"I meant where you're spending Christmas."

"Oh. No."

"Angela, have you told Andy you love him yet?"

"Not yet."

"Has he said it again?"

"He did last night, but he thought I was asleep."

"You might want to consider the possibility that your relationship with Andy won't make it to Christmas."

Angela left the medical building feeling somewhat unburdened. She saw Andy's car idling in the parking lot and ran over. He popped the trunk, and she threw her briefcase in before getting into the passenger's seat.

"Cold out there!" she remarked. "Thanks for picking me up." Andy kept the car in neutral.

"Are you seeing a shrink, Angela?" Andy didn't think that would be such a bad idea.

"She's a psychologist. But I'm not being treated for anything," she protested. "Tony and I are just working out some of our issues."

"Where is he?"

"On campus. He couldn't make it today. He'll be there on Thursday."

"Let me get this straight. You're seeing a couple's counselor with your housekeeper? Twice a week? Is this part of his benefits package?"

"Yes, Andy. We're good friends, you know. This is helping us keep the peace at home. As for the benefits, I'm paying out of pocket."

"You're paying $200 a week to keep the peace at home?"

"It's $250 a week, but it's worth it. We're really making good progress."

"Why do I get the feeling you wouldn't invest a thousand dollars a month in our relationship?"

"What?"

"Why don't you replace Tony with someone who isn't so difficult? It would be cheaper."

"I can't replace Tony! Jonathan loves him."

"Your son doesn't seem too keen on me."

"Give him time. He's been raised by Tony for six years."

"How can I be sure Tony isn't the reason Jonathan doesn't want to spend time at my house?"

"You're paranoid."

"The man threatened me. He also seems to be very familiar with your underwear."

"I'm sure he didn't threaten you. And if he did, he was just defending me. Washing my clothes is his job."

"How would he know which dresses you go braless in?"

"I don't fucking know!" Angela yelled. She looked up and saw Dr. Sweetin get into a Mercedes. "Can we go now?"

"I'll drop you off at home. I think I need a little space."

"Fine."