Chapter Twenty: Summer 1987

Thursday, December 13, 1990

"Welcome back. It's nice to see you again, Tony. I hope that you were able to resolve your issue at school.

"Thank you, Dr. Sweetin. I had to retake a final exam, but I was able to increase my grade from a D to a B."

"Wonderful. Angela and I took advantage of our time together. She's been doing some homework, too."

"I have something I'd like to talk about, if that's OK," Angela interjected. "Summer 1987."

Tony gasped, feeling instant embarrassment about the unmanly noise. "You never talk about that time. I always felt like you regretted it and wanted to pretend it never happened."

"I think I pretended so hard that it faded from my memory. But I don't regret it." She pulled a large envelope from her purse, opened the flap, and handed it to Dr. Sweetin. "These pictures were taken on one of the happiest days of my life. It was also one of the most disappointing days of my life. I want to talk about how we got there and what happened afterward."

Tony didn't have to see the pictures to know what Angela was talking about. It was Family Day. Now he knew that she had bought prints of all of the family's poses, giving only the best to him.

"In a nutshell, Dr. Sweetin, Summer 1987 is the closest Angela and I ever got to entering a romantic relationship. I think if we had talked about things honestly back then, like we're doing now, we'd be married right now."

It was Angela's turn to gasp. "Really, Tony?"

"I think if we had been able to keep things moving in the right direction, it would have been inevitable."

"Angela, can you tell me what marks the start of this phase in your mind?"

"My mother moved out of her apartment to take care of some business in the city, and Tony took over the place."

"Tony and Sam?"

"No, just Tony. Sam stayed in the main house with me."

"Tony, you must have trusted Angela quite a lot to leave your fourteen year-old daughter with her."

"I did. I do."

"And Angela, parenting an employee's child, even part of the time, is pretty unusual."

"I didn't really give it a second thought. It felt completely natural to treat Sam like my own."

"So what happened when you moved out, Tony?"

"Well, I threw a wild party and invited my friends from Brooklyn. But I wasn't really having any fun until Angela showed up. She looked so pretty in her new dress. It was conservative in the front, but cut low in the back. She has a beautiful back. Anyway, she danced with me, and I couldn't have been happier. But she left after just a few minutes. I guess she didn't feel comfortable around all my friends."

"I wasn't in the mood for a party. The only reason I came over was to see you."

"I didn't stay in the apartment that long. A couple of weeks. It was real lonely, and I didn't feel like going out with my friends or picking up girls. Being away made me realize that I just wanted to be home with Angela and our kids."

"I have to confess something. I blew out the pilot light so you would come over and re-light it."

"I know. That's why I felt bold enough to ask you out."

"The two of you went on a date?"

"We didn't call it that at the time, but it was definitely a date. Tony drove and we held hands and kissed at the movies. It was all very innocent, but romantic and exciting. Our friends Paul and Isabel happened to see us, but we didn't know that at the time."

"Did you go out again?"

"We didn't get much time away back then. Sam wasn't old enough to babysit Jonathan for more than a couple of hours. We mostly spent time together at home. Both of us like to watch old movies. There was this one night that I rented…"

"…Sabrina. And The Goonies. He started holding my hand while the kids were still up with us. But after both movies were done, we made out for a little while."

Dr. Sweetin interrupted. "What does that mean?"

"Mostly just kissing, but that was the first time we ever went further."

"She let me see and touch her breasts. God, it felt so good to have my mouth on them. But I had to stop before we went too far."

"I didn't really want to stop. It sort of hurt my feelings, that he could get up and walk away from me like that. He was right, though. We weren't ready for more."

"I was kind of gun shy about being alone with her after that. There was one other time that we were cooking together and the sexual tension was too much. We started kissing, but the kids came home right at that moment. They didn't see anything."

"And then there was Family Day at my country club. Paul and Isabel were there with his daughter, Marci, who was a good friend of Sam's at the time. Tony and I brought her and Jonathan, and we just pretended to be a regular family all day."

"I thought Angela was ready to make things public. She was very affectionate that day, in an appropriate way."

"I was ready. I just didn't think you were."

"There was a misunderstanding when we went into the sales office to upgrade her membership. I wish I had just spoken up and said we were together, romantically."

"I wish you had, too, Tony. I didn't feel strong enough right then." Angela thought for a moment. "It's really Fred Hartwell's fault. I'm glad you killed him."

"What?!" Dr. Sweetin yelped.

"I didn't kill him. He went into cardiac arrest while we were playing tennis."

"Well, maybe if we hadn't run into that creep, I would have had the guts to say it. Tony and I were together."

"Based on the pictures, the children seemed very happy. Were they?"

"We didn't talk about it with them back then, but yeah, I think they were happy and wanted us to be together. They still want us to be together."

"What happened after the misunderstanding in the sales office?"

"Angela and I became more uncertain. Neither one of us would take the risk of making a move on the other. And then I really blew it. I kissed an old friend from Brooklyn."

"He more than kissed her, he almost married her," Angela insisted.

"I wasn't going to marry her. But I did sleep with her, and she did propose, all in the course of a weekend. It wasn't a romantic proposal. More like a business deal. So I turned her down and went home to Angela."

"I was really hurt that you would sleep with her so soon after we put things on pause."

"I didn't know things were on pause. We never talked about it. I just thought you weren't interested anymore."

Dr. Sweetin held back any questions and just observed. These two were finally talking honestly.

"Do you remember our conversation?" Angela asked.

"The course of true love never did run smooth. I think we've proved that."

"Yeah," she sighed. Rather than interrogate his statement, she opted to ask another question. "Why did you do everything you did on prom night?"

"I wanted to make you happy."

"Is that all?"

"Selfishly, I wanted to touch you. I wanted to make you come. Isn't that why you did what you did in South Carolina?"

"Oh my god. South Carolina. I can't believe I forgot about that."

"How could you forget that, Angela? What you did was really important to me."

"It was too painful to think about."

"Alright, I'm going to interrupt you here. You've both done some really good work. I appreciate how vulnerable you've been with each other today, and I want that to continue. Before we leave today, Angela, do you have any updates about things with Andy?" Dr. Sweetin was hoping to hear that she had come to her senses and ended her charade of a relationship.

"We got into a fight on Tuesday. About this, actually. He doesn't understand why I would be in counseling with Tony. That's why I stayed home the past couple of nights."

"I see. Well, it might be good to discuss here when you come to a better understanding of your motivations."

Tony and Angela left the office and climbed into the Jeep. "Do you want to go somewhere?" he asked.

"Tony. It's cold. Can you start the car?"

"Is that a no?" he asked, putting his key in the ignition.

"I want to. I really want to. I just need to figure some things out first."

"Have you thought about breaking up with him?"

"I'm still working on it."

"What does he have that I don't have? And don't say money, because I know you don't care about that."

"It's more about what he doesn't have. A history of hurting and rejecting me."

"I don't know how to make things right between us."

"Maybe you can't."