Samantha Allan Park

by TheNerdyTomboyNewb96

Sam is a tomboy nerd whose life has been destroyed by the Foot. She has nothing but her older brother who's barely ever around. Somehow, fate leads her to discovering the turtles. Will they accept this stranger they just met, or push her away? Will this make her life better, worse? Involves canon material from movies, shows, and comics along with original content and characters.

23. Samantha Allan Park Ch23

Any references to TMNT or anything from popular media and culture is NOT MINE. I only own my OC's.

Chapter #23

*Monday August 17th. Late at night in Sam's bedroom*
Themes:
Big Bang-If You

Sam knew that the alarms should be off in her room since she hadn't been home in weeks to turn them back on, so sneaking into her room was no big deal. What she wasn't expecting was to see a sleeping Michelangelo in her bed as she carefully maneuvered her body through the open window and into the room. Sam wanted to make sure that he was sound asleep before she started moving around her room, so she waited by her window so that she could make a quick escape if it were needed. After a few minutes of little to no sound and no movement, Sam decided she could start gathering what she needed. There were a few tools and devices that she wanted to take with her back to headquarters but also some family related items. She wasn't sure how long she would be staying at the Foot's headquarters, or if she would ever escape from there and get to go back to normal life, so she decided that some smaller familial objects would stay with her at headquarters. Family wise she mainly just wanted Chuck's weapons and the flash-drive with all the pictures on it…and that's when she remembered that both of those things were still back at the lair.

Sam put her hands on the side of her head in frustration. How could she forget about that?! She quickly thought of how she could steal those objects back and within seconds came up with a plan. She thought over this plan a couple more times and decided that it should work out alright as long as she was careful. A small but sorrowful smile appeared on her face as she thought to herself. "Heh, even after all of you kick me out of your home I still have a reason to sneak back down there. Sorry guys, but I need that drive and those sais, especially if my last hours on earth end up at headquarters." Sam was about to walk back towards the window and exit the room…but she couldn't just walk away from Mikey. She looked back over at him and slowly and quietly moved a bit closer to the bed. After all the pranks the two had played on each other, Sam could tell when Mikey was truly asleep, when he was half asleep, or when he was totally faking and wasn't sleeping at all. Because of this she was able to recognize the signs that he was totally out and sound asleep. The girl stood about a foot away from the turtle that way lying on her bed, and after a minute or so she inched her way closer to the point that she was basically standing next to the bed and looking down at him. A small apologetic smile appeared on Sam's face. She knew that there was a chance she would die at headquarters before getting a chance to talk to Mikey and tell him the entire truth and that fact crushed her inside, but everyone had cast her out and at this point it was too dangerous to turn back. Shredder had ten times the number of Foot soldiers hiding at their specific headquarters location and he had all types of mutagens and other chemicals and weapons hiding there. Basically, there were more dangers and threats at headquarters than ever before and Sam didn't want her friends to get hurt, so she decided that she would continue to keep her secrets from the turtles, even if she had to take them with her to an early grave. Still, it hurt her so much to see her best friend (if she could still call him that) just lying there with such a pained expression on his face. She noticed that he wasn't wearing shoes and as she turned her head she saw that they were lying in their normal spot along the wall. Without making a sound, Sam covered her mouth to prevent laughing sobs from slipping out. "You kick me out of your home and out of your life and yet you still make sure not to put your shoes on my bed" the girl thought to herself. It was difficult for her to see him this way after their emotional and painful last interaction together. She almost stole his older brother from him after being exposed to hiding important information from them and then she was the reason that each of them had released a dark side of them that she had never seen before, including Michelangelo who in those moments looked at her and talked to her in ways she had never experienced before, and yet here he was lying in her bed waiting for her to return home. And it wasn't just that he was waiting for her but he even remembered such simple things like how much she hated having shoes on her bed. Sam had to force herself to walk away and leave through the window. After she had carefully shut the window she immediately made her way to the rooftops before heading back down towards the sewers.

She needed to take a few minutes to get her soft yet still hysterical laughter out as she covered her eyes with her hands. How could he be in her bed just lying there? Why did he have to be here in her bed? Why couldn't he be out looking for her somewhere else? Why was he waiting for her and looking for her in general? Sam had done so much damage to the turtles, so why was he trying to find her? She shook her head as she thought of how much she didn't deserve to have him as a best friend. Even now after all that had happened he was still looking out for her and trying to protect her…but she couldn't allow that to happen.
"You've always had my back, and even though you pushed me away that night you're STILL trying to protect me. I'll never stop worrying about you either, but I can't let you protect me anymore. I'll never stop loving you and your brothers as my family and that's why I can't let you know about what's happening. I hoped it would be quicker but sadly things are a million times worse with the Foot than I could have ever imagined and I'd rather die than be the reason that you guys get wrapped up in all that's happening. I'm so sorry, but I may never get to talk to you again, and I'm sorry if you never get to truly know why I disappeared…but sadly there are some really messed up things that happen in this world, trust me I know, and this is a path I decided to follow both to protect my new family and to avenge my first. I love all of you guys regardless of how any of you feel about me, so I'm going to keep pushing you all away from me. You need to be safe, I need you to be safe, so this is the final time I'll ever be close to any of you."

Sam took a deep breath and tried to return to a calm and relaxed state as she reminded herself of why she chose the path she did and why she made the final decisions that she had. Once she was back to normal she went back over the plan in her head one more time. She knew that there was a main breaker box that the guys used as a power source since it was used to power some of the old subway lines and was still in good condition now. This box was located closer to the entry way near the living room. She would shut this down so that the entire lair would suddenly go dark and then she would sneak in depending on which exit she sensed a presence (which she knew would be Donnie) leave to either fix that box or to go use one of their tons of back-up generator boxes. She slipped on a Foot soldiers mask the covered every part of her head except for where her eyes were and she made sure her bag was secured nice and tight so that it wasn't lose and would make noise while she ran.

She then crawled down the ladder on the side of the apartment building and walked over towards the manhole cover. She carefully and cautiously made her way into the sewers, keeping her devices used to sense and deactivate small cameras nearby as she came closer and closer to her final destination.

*Minutes later in the lair*
Theme:
Kodaline-Nothing More

Now that it had been just under two weeks since the incident, the older three brothers were slowly starting to get back into their regular routines that they each followed, that and after spending days staring at the same walls of their rooms they finally wanted to leave their rooms and do something else that would get their minds off of all the chaos that had gone down in the dojo and that was still replaying over and over in their minds from that insane night.

Mikey was the only one who wasn't able to get back to how things used to be which he made evident since he was spending the night at Sam's place yet again. The rest of the brothers however were starting to pick up their old habits. Leo was out patrolling on his own for the time being, Raph was in the dojo getting back to his daily workout routines, and Donnie was sitting at the kitchen table as he finished a slice of pizza and played some games on a 3DS that he had found trashed and broken in a dumpster that now looked brand new thanks to his technical skills. The lair was still pretty quiet, but it was nowhere near as silent as it had been days previous. At least now there was a little bit of noise from the various activities and it wasn't so quiet that you could hear a pin drop from the other side of the room. As he brothers continued on peacefully with their activities, all the lights suddenly went off.

"DONNIE!" Raph called from the dojo.
"It wasn't me I promise!" he called back. "It must be a major city power outage for all the lights to go off like this, I'll fix it don't worry!"

Donnie stood up and pulled out a flashlight from one of the many pouches that were hooked onto his shorts along his waist. He walked down the small walkway and over the waterway down below and then exited the lair through the doorway that was by Leo's room past the kitchen. He made a few different turns until he finally reached the most powerful back-up generator box that would provide the same amount of power to the lair as the original source. He texted Raph to make sure the light's came back up, and after a couple of minutes he got a reply saying that everything was working. He nodded his head and patted himself on the back to show his pride in being the technical nerd of his brothers and he was proud of his skills. As he walked back into the lair he grabbed his 3DS and headed over to where his millions of computer monitors were set up right outside his lab. He sat down and started looking up recent and live news websites and podcasts. He was curious as to what would cause such a large and random power outage like that. They hadn't seen the lair that dark in a long time. They boys had been young children the last time the lair went dark and that was because of a really bad weather issue that caused a really bad power outage all throughout the city during the summer. Donnie wondered if this could be the same reason for this power outage, or if it could be something much worse like a cyber-attack from another country. Donnie searched…and searched…and continued to search for a few more minutes, but he couldn't find a single lead as to what had caused the power outage. He then began to wonder if something had happened to the main breaker box. Maybe it had just overheated? Sometimes these things happened and he just needed to go fix some old worn out wires. His suspicions were soon confirmed when he heard his father calling his name from behind him.
"Donatello? Donatello?" Splinter called out.
"What's up dad?" Donnie asked as he spun his chair around.
"I'm not sure if it's supposed to be that way, but one of our electrical boxes had the door open and seemed like someone had shut it down."
"Wait, it looked like it was turned off? As in the switch was down?" Donnie asked.
"Yes! Exactly like that my son" Splinter said with quick nods.
Donnie held up a finger to his father to signal that he needed a moment as he stood up and walked into his lab. He quickly walked over to the drawer where he had left the flash drive that Sam had given him only to find that it was no longer laying in the spot where he had last left it.
"God dammit" he whispered to himself as he slammed the drawer shut.

"Ugh, Don!?" Raph called from the other room.
And that fast Donnie was rushing out of his lab as he quickly began shouting orders at Raphael.

*Same setting, Raph POV*
Theme:
Kodaline-Nothing More

Raph had been continuing his workout routine when suddenly the power went out. Raph groaned as he assumed that Donnie had blown another fuse with one of his crazy inventions.
"DONNIE!" Raph called from the dojo.
"It wasn't me I promise!" he called back. "It must be a major city power outage for all the lights to go off like this, I'll fix it don't worry!"
Raph heard his brother push his chair in at the kitchen and heard the sound from his footsteps gradually get softer and softer as he made his way throughout the sewers to another electrical box.
Raph started back up with his training. Nothing could be heard except for the sounds of his sais swiftly cutting through the air. He had been throwing punches at his bags for so long that he begun to miss the feeling of slashing with his sais, so this individual training session felt incredible to him right now. He was so distracted by the joy that this workout brought him that he didn't hear the ever so silent sounds of equipment being moved nearby in the storage space in the bottom right circular opening to the dojo.
Another 5 minutes or so passed by before the lights finally came back on. Raph chuckled to himself as he thought about how his nerdy brother knew where everything was down here in the sewers. If someone told Raph to go get the back-up box working then he would get lost just trying to find it, yet Donnie could find it AND get it back up and running within a matter of minutes.
Raph heard his phone go off and saw a text message from his brother asking if everything was up and running again. The older turtle rolled his eyes as he replied to the text message. "Like you really need to ask dude. If you're the one fixing it then obviously its working" he thought to himself as he continued practicing.
Raph sensed his brother walk back into the lair and head over towards his nerd station. He was beginning to feel a bit hungry himself, so he decided that now was a good time to take a break and get something to eat. He exited the dojo and made a left to head over to the fridge. He grabbed a water bottle and took a drink. It felt nice to actually get some exercise for the enjoyment of it and not solely because of anger. Intense and non-stop workouts were pretty much Raph's way of life, but he knew that when he worked out solely from rage and anger that it eventually took a toll on his body, so this much more relaxed practice session made him feel much better and had actually helped calm him down a lot. Just as he was about to grab some pizza to heat up in the microwave he felt something hit the side of the door. He looked down to see that he had forgotten to put his sais back and that they were hitting the door as they stuck out from their holsters. Raph grabbed a couple of slices and placed them on a plate in the microwave, and as the food was heating up he walked back over to the weapons wall and placed his weapons back in their spot. He started heading back over towards the kitchen counter to get his food, but that's when something caught his eye that made him stop and pause.

As he heard his father enter the room and start talking to Donnie, Raph turned around to confirm something that he thought he had seen, or more so, something he thought he hadn't seen.
The hot headed turtle tried to remain calm as he walked back over towards the weapons wall and looked down to where Sam's brother Chuck's sais usually sat. They were one of the smallest pairs so they usually sat along the bottom of the wall, but they were gone. Raph looked up and down the racks where all the various types of weapons were placed and then he looked all along the floor, but still he couldn't land his sights on where the small set of weapons were.
"Ugh, Don?!" Raph called out to his brother.
Raph turned and saw his younger brother run out from his lab with a stern and serious expression.
"Raph we need to get to the surface now" Donnie said in a demanding tone.
"There's no way, right?" Raph asked. He couldn't believe and he didn't want to believe that Sam had just snuck by them, that she was literally right in the same room as them mere minutes ago. He was still furious with the girl and didn't want to be friends with her, but he did want answers.
Donnie clenched his hands together and Raph could see the thinner turtles muscles tighten up as he spoke. He could tell that Donnie wasn't exactly ready to face her either, but right now was a 'now or never' type moment whether they were ready to talk to the girl just yet or not.
"There's a good chance that it is, and if not, then there's going to be trouble. So we need to move now! I'll take the exit by the living room and you take the exit by the kitchen. Run through the usual path and in five minutes go topside. She couldn't have gotten too far, so we should be able to catch up to her if we move fast" Donnie commanded.
"My sons, what is going on?" Splinter asked, concern flooding through his tone.
"I'm pretty sure Sam was here just a few minutes ago. She played us once again and slipped right by us, but she's not getting away this time" Donnie said in a low but deep and pained voice.
Splinter closed his eyes and nodded. Sadness was written on his face as he agreed that the two boys should chase after the girl.
"Hai Sensei!" the two turtles shouted before sprinting into the sewer tunnels.

Splinter sighed and shook his head.
"Oh Samantha, if only you could see what you've done to my sons. I don't think you have cruel intentions, but you're making my sons act in ways that I've never seen before. Please just communicate with them tonight, please…"
Splinter had never sensed a bad aura from the girl, not even on her final night in the lair, yet all this chaos had occurred between her and his sons. It pained him to see his sons react to the situation the way they all had, but he understood they all needed to cope with the emotional blow they had taken, especially Michelangelo who had become so close to the girl. The two were inseparable whenever he saw the duo hanging out in the lair and he could tell by how Mikey was distracted during practices (as in way more distracted than usual) that he truly and deeply longed for any type of contact with Sam.
That's when the old rat realized that his most vulnerable son was not in the room and didn't know that she was nearby. He quickly pulled out the shell cell that Donnie had made for him and, slowly with one finger since he was the equivalent of an old man, typed up and sent a message to his youngest son that explained what was currently happening with the chase after Sam.
"I hope you get this message my son. This may be your last chance to talk to her, please take advantage of this moment."
And with that, Splinter walked down to his small bedroom that was in the circular piece of the living room and laid down to rest, hoping that everything would finally be alright after tonight and that all this depressing craziness would end.

*Back up at the surface/the manhole cover in the alleyway behind Sam's apartment building*

Theme:
Starset-Ricochet

Sam swiftly yet still silently lifted the cover and exited the sewers. She put the cover back down and once again made sure everything in her bag was tight and secure. She let out a breath of relief now that she was safe from being caught. This was one of the first times that she had been able to complete her mission without her emotions getting the best of her, though they were really close to getting the best of her as she sensed Raph's presence in the dojo. The two were probably only a few feet apart and she was terrified that her shaking hands were going to give away her position, but Raph must have been distracted since he didn't hear her (thank god!) and never stopped his workout which was evident from the constant slicing sound of his sais cutting through the air.

Sam started to walk back towards the city streets and was reaching for her board along her back. She thought she was in the clear, that is, until she heard a voice come from behind her.
"So, is this proof that I should or shouldn't trust you?"
Sam paused and closed her eyes tight as she recognized Leo's stern voice. She made sure not to show any emotion though. She didn't clench her fists, she didn't let out any loud breaths, and she made sure not to do anything that would display any emotion. She wanted it to seem like she was fine and that nothing was wrong. If she displayed any type of emotion then it would show how much she still cared for the guys, and at this point in time that was no longer an option. Her arm dropped back down to her side as she turned around to face Leo.
"I don't understand what you're asking" she said with a blank face.
"You just snuck into our home again, didn't you? I'm not sure if I should be happy that you took the time to come back and visit us, or if I should be upset from your reason for doing so" Leo said but this time without such a strict tone to his voice as usual. Deep down he knew that she was putting up a front with her 'I don't care' act and that she was hiding how she truly felt, so he tried his best to throw the act back at her.
Sam shrugged. "I didn't do anything wrong. I just returned to take back what was already mine. You can assume whatever you want from that."
"I guess it was too much for you to say hello?"
"Last time I checked you guys didn't really want to talk." This time Sam accidentally added some sass to the way she spoke and she knew that the turtle in front of her had picked up on that.
"It's hard to talk when there's a fist in your face."
"It's hard to throw a punch when you're handcuffed to a chair."
"We did what we thought needed to be done to keep us all safe, and after what you did to Raph, it seems we didn't tie you down enough."
"I've broken free from tougher chains so tying me down wasn't really going to help you."
"And what would have helped us?"
"Not leaving your hostage with the hot head of the group, aka the reason your hostage was set off and went on a rampage."
Leo paused. He knew this was true and he was thinking about how to convert his thoughts to words.
"Trust me when I say we didn't want to leave Raph alone with you, but we knew that he wouldn't be able to talk reasonably when discussing how to handle the situation and we didn't want to take the risk of you hearing us and tricking us into anything when you opened your eyes."
"Damn, that actually makes sense" Sam thought to herself. She tried to think of what to throw back at him since somehow they had gotten themselves into a verbal battle.
"Why not break into two teams? You know hot head wouldn't hurt his baby brother. You could have left him in the room."
"Shit that's true. Why didn't we think of that idea that night?" Leo thought.
"I guess we trusted that you wouldn't hurt Raph, or any of us, in anyway. Guess we were wrong."
"I guess I trusted and told the wrong people the information about my past, you know, since they threw it back in my face to the point where I went off like a bomb. Huh, guess I was wrong."

The two hated what they were saying to each other and at this point they didn't really know what they were doing. It was like they were trying to pry information from the other as to what had happened that dreadful last night together while also sharing how the event had made them each feel, yet instead of explaining their thoughts and emotions in a calm and collected way they were doing so in a verbally aggressive way (even if there were both talking in a calm yet serious and solid tone). There were still so many bottled up emotions hiding away within both of them and because of this they weren't able to talk to each other like normal, hence why they were both being so nasty towards one another. This was what Leo feared. Even though he had been searching for Sam he still wasn't ready to actually talk to her just yet, and this was the result of how unprepared he was.

"So being friends with Mikey was wrong? Do you regret that?" Leo asked.

This was the part that Sam was most unprepared for. It was already difficult for her to face the brothers, but Mikey was her best friend which made facing him a million times worse. As much as she cared for all the boys it was always known that she and the youngest turtle had a stronger bond than any of the others did. He was the reason she was even allowed to enter the lair on a daily basis since he was the one who had never given up on her, and seeing him in her room made it even clearer how much he cared about her as well. But she couldn't think of that anymore. She couldn't let any of them come anywhere near her anymore because that would bring them closer to the dangers of the Foot clan and she couldn't let that happen. Sam knew what she had to do and as much as it pained her, she knew that she had to do everything she could to push the guys away from her. She would do whatever it took to keep them safe, even if it meant them all truly wanting nothing to do with her. The more they hated her than the more they would want to stay away from her. If they stopped waiting for her and stopped searching for her then they would always be safe, and she wanted that more than anything, even with the risk that she would personally lose them forever.

She squinted her eyes together. "Who said we were friends?" "Lies."
"Oh, so now you're going to pretend that you two weren't attached at the hip?"
"I laughed at his corny jokes and I said what he wanted to hear. If that's friendship then yeah we were best friends." "Please believe my lies."
"Really? So you didn't feel anything when you saw him in your room earlier?"
"*shrug* He looked comfortable, so I guess I felt relaxed after seeing that." "Ahhh screw you Leo! Just listen to my lies and let me leave."
"Alright Sam, moment of truth. How long have you been a member of the Foot clan?"
"4 years."
"Why did you join?"
"Shredder recruited me for my deceptive skills. One of my masters told him about me and he picked me up. I found the whole situation fun and I learned what I was taught quite quickly."
"Is that why you were wearing a leader's armband? Because you learned and honed your skills so quickly?"
"You got it."
"Okay, so why did you tell us about your past?"
"I needed to get close to you guys, so I edited the facts and told you what I needed to about my past."
"What parts were edited?" Leo asked as he crossed his arms across his chest.
"All my family did die at one time in life, but they weren't killed by the Foot. I came up with all of those details by myself."
"Why did you need to get close to us?"
"Because Shredder needed someone to track down his enemies, aka you guys."
"Alright, but why haven't the Foot attacked us even though they know our location?"
"Because Shredder got the information that he needed and now he's focusing on a new project."
"And what would that be?"
"To head back to Tokyo where the main branch is."

Leo could tell that something was up. Why would Shredder have one of his best ninjas get close to him and his brothers just so that he could take whatever information was gathered (whatever the heck that information even was) and take both it and the entire Foot clan itself back to Tokyo? Something wasn't adding up and he was getting fed up with all the lies.

"Alright Sam cut the shit. I don't believe a damn thing you've said so far."
"What's new?" she said sarcastically.
"This is your last chance. Tell me the truth, the full and complete truth. No more lies and no more secrets. Spill everything now." Leo said, his strict and demanding voice returning back to normal which signaled that he was done playing games.
"I already told you everything I know. Shredder got what he wanted so you can just go home and relax, there's nothing for you to worry about. Oh and here's a bonus" she said as she slightly raised her voice, "I've already taken back what belongs to me, so there's no more reasons for me to return to your home. Now you'll never have to see me again."

"Is that her motive? To push us away? What the hell Sam?!"
Leo was clenching his fists now. He was furious with how the girl was talking to him and he was enraged with the fact that after everything they had been through, instead of trying to rekindle what their families had before that dreadful night, she was now making the situation even worse and pushing him even further away.

"So that's it? Your family, OUR family, you're just going to walk away from all of that? Does our family mean that little to you? What about your brother's, what about Mikey?! Doesn't any of that matter? Instead of talking to us and trusting us you're just going to leave and walk away like you never met us? Are we all supposed to continue living life like the other one never existed?"

"I'm so, so sorry…" were the only thoughts in Sam's head before the words came out of her mouth. She looked Leo straight in the eye and said "you were never my brother's. None of you were, and we were never family. I used you, don't you get it? We were never even friends! I did what I needed in order to please my master and that's it, that's the end of the story. I don't know what else you want from-" she suddenly stopped speaking as her eyes went wide and her gaze moved down to the ground.
Just then Sam felt a presence. He wasn't here yet, but she knew he would be here soon. Her hands began to shake and she rapidly shook her head. She had succeeded in keeping her calm and serous composure, but as soon as she sensed him she felt herself break down into a million weak little pieces.
"No…not like this…" Sam said. She looked back up at Leo. He was taken aback by the fear that was etched onto her face since she had been so serious just seconds ago, yet now she looked like she had just seen a ghost.
"I need to go" Sam said as she turned around and began sprinting out of the alley way and down the city streets.

Leo was so shocked by her change in emotion that he hadn't realized what was going on until he heard a noise from above. He blinked a few times and finally realized that Sam was no longer standing in front of him, and as he looked up he saw his brother quickly jumping and sliding down rails along the side of the building to his right. As Leo watched his brother make his way down to the ground he then felt a gush of wind as Donnie and Raph rushed past him and up onto the building on his left. They reached the top and began running along rooftops after the girl who was trying to escape.
"Come on Leo! We need to catch her!" Mikey urged as he now had made his way to the ground and was now motioning for his brother to follow him. "It's late enough that we can try to follow her on the ground!"
"Mikey wait" Leo said, "Something isn't right."
"Yeah she's getting away because we're standing around talking!"
"Mikey wait! We need to talk about this!"
"And it can't wait until after we get Sam back?!"
"No!"
"Why not?!"
"Because I'm not ready to get Sam back and her running away is a perfect example of that!"

Mikey stood still and faced his brother. Now that he was actually paying attention to Leo and not solely focused on catching up to Sam, he could see that his brother was struggling to stay calm and composed. Something was hurting Leo and Mikey knew that he needed to be here and help his oldest brother who was reaching out to him. Luckily their other two brothers were chasing after the girl at the moment which helped put Mikey at ease and this aided him in giving his full and undivided attention to Leo.
"Alright. Explain what that means" the younger brother said.
"Remember how we talked about each of us four holding a different mindset in how we felt about everything that had happened?"
"Yeah I remember."
"Well, I thought that I was catching up to you in wanting to look for Sam and figure out what was going on…but then when I finally caught her tonight, I totally crumbled. For the longest time we were just verbally attacking each other and that's nowhere near what I wanted to happen when I finally got to talk to her again."
"What were you expecting to happen?" Mikey asked calmly.
"I don't know. I knew it wouldn't be anywhere close to a peaceful conversation, but I guess I hoped that there would be an actual discussion at least. Just, I need you to understand that that's one of the reasons why it's so hard for us to reach the same mindset as you, because I know for a fact that what just happened with me and her would have been ten times worse if she had met Donnie instead of me, and it would have been a million times worse if it had been her and Raph talking."
Mikey nodded his head. He respected that his brother at least tried to look for the girl and get some answers that could help everyone understand just what was going on and maybe even to find a solution to all this craziness, but Leo's words also made sense to him. He could sense how frustrated his brother was from the conversation he had just had with Sam and he knew the assumptions made about what would have happened if Sam had interacted with one of the other two brothers was spot on. This conversation had definitely helped open his eyes to how his brothers were feeling and he was grateful that Leo had helped him get to that point.
"Thanks for at least attempting to get some answers, and thanks for this. I'm sorry you guys have been struggling and that I haven't exactly been as supportive as I should be" Mikey said as he gaze drifted off to the side as he felt some guilt wash over him.
"It's not your fault," Leo cut in, "we all know that you were the closest to her. Each of us is just processing all of this in our own ways."
Mikey paused before he spoke. "No offense, but couldn't this have waited until later?"
"No, because I have more to tell you" Leo said as he walked over and stood closer to his brother. "Back then when I was talking to Sam, I told her to spill the truth about everything and that this was her final chance to do so. I hoped she would cooperate, but I could tell that she was lying straight through her teeth."
Mikey's eyes widened with curiosity. "What did you say to each other?"
"I asked her about her reasons for getting close to us and she said that she lied about her past so that she could get close to us and gather the information that she needed."
Mikey's expression changed from curious to confused. "What information would she be trying to gather besides where we're living?"
"That's the thing, she wouldn't say. And then when I asked about the Foot not attacking us even though they know our location, she said that 'Shredder got the information that he needed and now he's focusing on a new project that involved him moving all of his clan back to the main Tokyo branch in Japan."
Mikey was silent and Leo could tell that the wheels in his younger brother's head were turning as he tried to process everything that he was just told. Finally, the light bulb went off.
"She's making excuses to try and keep us away from her" he said with wide eyes.
"Exactly!" Leo said with a nod.
"But…but why would she try to push us away? On that final night she kept trying to get us to listen to her so she could tell us 'the truth' and so she could tell us her side of the story. If she wanted us to listen to her so badly that night then why is she purposefully trying to push us away now?" he asked, sadness in his eyes.
"That's what I'm worried about. Everything she said tonight, those were the true lies. Everything she said made no sense, and then when she sensed you getting closer, she totally freaked out which proves that she still cares about us, especially you. Knowing this and then knowing that she resorted to those crappy lies proves that something's wrong and that Sam is in some type of danger." Leo put his hand on his younger brother's shoulder. "But don't worry, we're going to get to the bottom of this. We're going to find out what's going on, I promise."
Mikey gave his brother a small smile, but it soon faded away as he realized that they could have been chasing Sam now and getting all the answers that they needed, yet here they were talking about it instead of doing something about it.
"Again, no offense Leo, but why aren't we chasing after Sam NOW and getting the answers that we want?"
Leo was serious again as well. "You know how you and I are able to discuss this? How we can talk about the fact that something is wrong with Sam and that we're both interested in finding out what's going on? It all goes back to what I said a little while ago. Raph and Donnie aren't ready to have these conversations and if they overheard us holding a conversation like this then that would create even more chaos within our home."
Mikey tilted his head to the side. "But, couldn't we just 'go on patrol,'" he said as he used his finger to make the quote signs, "and talk about Sam then?"
"If those two saw us going on patrol together every night together or even just in general then they would catch on that we were up to something. Have you forgotten that we're talking about the nosy Raphael and the genius Donatello?" Leo asked, a bit of playful teasing in his voice to help ease the tension a bit.
Mikey nodded and let out a small chuckle. "Alright, I understand. So this was the only time that we could have had this conversation without those two knowing?" Mikey asked.
"Yes exactly…" Leo trailed off as he made a weird face while staring at his brother.
Mikey took a step back. "You okay bro?" he asked nervously.
"Heh yeah, sorry. I just noticed something."
"What's that?"
"I don't know if it's because of Sam, or if it's because of your emotions getting involved, but one of those two factors gets the wheels in your head to start turning and you actually sound pretty intelligent. I'm not used to only telling you things one time because you actually understand it the first time around."
Mikey squinted his eyes. "Wheels? I thought Donnie said we have cells and nerves and stuff inside our brains."
Leo rolled his eyes as he turned and began to walk away. "And that fast you're back to normal. Come on, let's head home for the night before the sun starts to rise."
Mikey followed behind his older brother and the two returned home, waiting for their brothers to return home as well.

*Moments before, Raph and Donnie POV*

"GOD DAMNIT!" Raph shouted as he punched the rooftop below his feet.
They both had just seen her and they felt like they were catching up to her, but she made one turn around a corner and that fast she was already all the way at the other end of the street. Raph continued to voice his frustration.
"First her immense amount of strength, and now she has immense speed? When did she get this good? She was never this skilled around us, right?!" he shouted as he turned back around to face Donnie who was currently dragging his palms down his face in annoyance.
"Raph what are we doing?" he groaned under his hands.
"What do you mean? We're trying to get some damn answers!" he exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air as he did so.
"But, it's just for answers, right?" Donnie asked.
"Of course! You didn't come out here just to be friends with her again did you? Because if that's the case then I need to knock some sense into you" he growled.
Donnie shook his head. "Trust me I don't want to just welcome Sam back into the family with open arms like that, and if we ever do trust her again then it will be a long while before I can look at her and treat her the same way. These games she's playing are changing everything I've ever thought of her and things will never be the same no matter what comes next."
"So why are you questioning why we're out here then?" Raph asked as he glared over at his brother.
"Just making sure that's why we're out here is all" Donnie said, beginning to mumble as he spoke.
"Sounds like you're trying to make sure that's why you're out here" Raph said as he started walking over towards Donnie.
"I mean…*sigh* maybe I am. This whole situation is just confusing as hell" Donnie groaned as he tilted his head back in frustration.
Raph stood closer to Donnie but paused before saying anything else. Hell wasn't exactly the worst of the many cuss words that one could say, but for Donnie to say that was a huge deal since he never cussed. He wouldn't complain if someone else cursed here and there, but it was definitely a rare occasion when Donatello was the one using them. Knowing this, Raph could tell that his younger brother was very upset and perplexed from everything that had happened.
"What's going on?" Raph asked cautiously.
Donnie looked back at his brother and could sense that he was actually willing to listen and help rather than just yell at what he didn't agree with.
"It's just…more than anything I'm pissed that I allowed someone to trick me. I let some play their games and create a puzzle that I couldn't and still can't solve with the information I already have. That means that in order to understand what the heck is going on I'd have to gather new info, but that includes moments like this where we might have to chase down Sam and just…I don't want to do that in a sense because then it seems like we care about her and are showing emotions towards her and the situation at hand. But I don't want to do that! I mean holy crap she could have killed you!" he said, now using his hands as he talked, "She almost took you from us in a way where we can't just run after and save you and then bring you back. I don't want to care about her in any way and I don't, but…but…"
"There's times where you feel like you have to force yourself to stay away?" Raph cut in.
Donnie was hesitant since he wasn't sure which direction Raph was heading in with this question. The older turtle sensed this and continued on with the conversation.
"Look Don I feel the same way, and I know you're like me in the sense that you feel like you were played and toyed with and that you want to resent her for that. Even though we feel this way there are still times where we think back to moments where she was our friend, and honestly I hated myself for allowing myself to think back to those times, but Sensei and April told me something that helped me look past that a little bit."
Donnie was a bit shocked at how sentimental his usually hot headed brother was acting right now and he was curious as to what he was told that helped him get this way.
"What was is they said?" Donnie asked.
"They told me that besides for April, Sam was the only other friend we have ever had and that because of that bond that we had created it's hard to just push that away like it never happened. They said that it would be difficult for anyone to get really close and open up to someone and then suddenly just try to eliminate them from your life like they never even existed."
"Ahhh, so it's a psychological thing that we can't fully control then."
"Heh, you already knew that part, didn't you?"
The two brothers were now slightly smiling at each other as they began to ease the tension some.
"Yeah I knew about that part and I understand how all that works, I guess it's more so that I wish that I could override that, you know? Like obviously you can't just wipe someone from your memory, but I want to and wish I could. I don't want to see Sam the same way as before the incident, yet all our memories with her makes it difficult to stop feeling concerned about what is and isn't true and if she's okay or not."
Raph walked over and threw his arm around his brother's shoulder.
"Just know that you're not alone. I'm annoyed and confused by this situation and the resulting emotions and thoughts as well."
"Thanks Raph" Donnie said sincerely, "and regardless of how we feel for her, we're going to get those answers, both for ours and for Mikey's sake. I can't even imagine how he's feeling right now."
Raph shook his head. "Sadly he has to learn through these messed up experiences that you can't just trust people so easily, but I'll admit that I hate seeing him so broken. But hey, that just means that the next time the Foot attack, we're going to get some answers out of them about what the hell has been going on and we'll learn the real truth about Sam and her actions and motives" he said as he put his knuckle up for a fist bump.
Donnie nodded and completed the fist bump as he said "agreed."
And now that the two were much calmer, they decided to end their chase and head back home before the sun would begin to rise.

*Moments later, Sam's POV*
Theme:
Plumb-I Want You Here
Skillet-Everything Goes Black
Skillet-Believe

Sam laid down on her back on the rooftop of the building she was now on. As soon as Sam sensed Raphael and Donatello running along the rooftops above her she had quickly pulled a small needle out from her back pack and injected a small dose of a stronger mutagen into her arm that had helped her run at a speed that she had never traveled before. She was successful in getting away from the turtles, but now she felt so weak that she had that 'sitting on pins and needles' feeling, like when you sit in a crisscross position for too long and your legs 'fall asleep,' except now she felt this all throughout the lower half of her body.
She just couldn't do it. As soon as she sensed Mikey she knew she had to get out of there. If he had started talking to her then without realizing it her emotions would get the best of her and she'd unintentionally start answering all his questions truthfully, and that would mean him knowing about why she joined the Foot clan and him wanting to try and help her, and she couldn't allow that to happen.
At the same time, everything she had just experienced within that half hour was just as heartbreaking as the incident that had happened 12 days ago. She had no idea how she had spoken to Leo for as long as she had, and she hated the way their conversation went down. She didn't want to have to say what she had, but it was the only way to keep them away from the dangers that now came with knowing her. She knew that speaking to Raph or Donnie would have been impossible since their last conversation made the boys act in ways that Sam had never seen before and she wasn't ready or prepared to confront those expressions and voices from those two yet, or ever really.

And then there was Mikey. Sam couldn't get over what she saw in her bedroom that night. She expected Mikey to regret ever trusting her in the past and that he would loathe any future interaction they might have, yet he was waiting for her in her bedroom in hopes that they would get to talk again, and knowing him, he was waiting for the moment that he would be able to swoop in and take care of and protect her. She didn't deserve his friendship and in a way she wanted him to hate her and to forget about her for his own safety. Tears filled Sam's eyes as she paced back and forth, grabbing the sides of her head as she thought of all the ways that she had hurt Michelangelo and his family and she was filled with anger.

She then thought about how tonight was so similar to the way that she had first ever met the turtles. The reason she met the turtles was because she snuck into their home, stole from them, hid and snuck around behind their backs, and then did everything she could to escape. Though there were so many similarities in the situations, there were multiple reasons why tonight was a million times worse than when she first got on the turtles bad side. In the past she had wandered into a new territory whereas tonight she had purposefully broken into the boy's home. In the past she had taken something from them and then hid so that she could learn more about them whereas tonight she stole and hid from them so that she could get further away and never see them again. And the worst difference of all was that in the past there was at least one brother who came after her and made everything better. One of the four brothers took the time to meet back up with her and sort everything out to the point that everyone was on good terms with each other, but that wasn't and never would ever happen again.

Michelangelo wasn't coming back and Sam would make sure of it, no matter how much it killed her on the inside. She would have loved for him to come after her and take care of her like he always did and right now she would have loved for him to be the one to dry her crying eyes, and this made her even more upset.
"No! He can't come back! You don't need him! You can't need him!" she shouted as she slammed her palm against the wall of the entry way on top of the building.

She was disappointed in herself for wanting him to come after her. She knew that Mikey coming after her would lead to his demise and she didn't want that, but god life was so much more difficult without him now. Sam had become so spoiled with the attention that her friend had given her and now she was broken without him. It was painful having to live without the one thing that she wanted and needed and right now it was killing her more than ever before. Her breathing grew heavier and heavier to the point where she kept coughing and choking on her sobs. The last time she acted like this was days ago when the incident occurred, and the last time before that was when her siblings had passed away.

She couldn't handle feeling this way and she didn't know how many more times she could feel this type of pain. So many thoughts started flooding through her mind. She thought of how unfair this whole situation was. The plan was to help in the demise of the main New York branch of the Foot clan and it was supposed to work out where the turtles never even knew about it and she felt anger in the fact that every part of the plan had fallen through and turned sour. She was irritated that there was no way to know what would happen whether she had or hadn't told the turtles about the plan and that she wasn't able to make the best decision of what to do because she didn't know how either situation would play out. She was outraged with how the guys reacted and how they treated her and now she was furious that after they had pushed her away in the way they ALL had, they were now all trying to hunt her down for whatever their personal reasons were. She was infuriated that if she did tell the guys the truth then it could get them killed and her blood boiled more and more knowing that she had to face all this by herself. She couldn't go to the guys and more specifically she couldn't go to her best friend, the person she longed for most, and explain all this craziness and finally lift this heavy weight off her chest.

Sam was crying her eyes out at this point as she rapidly paced back and forth. By this time she had become quite violent and had been punching the walls as she thought of how unfair everything was and how miserable she was that there was nothing she could do to fix what she had destroyed. She was finally happy and she was the only one to blame for throwing away her spot in the family that she had just joined. That's when she realized that she was standing at the top of a huge building in the middle of New York City. She quickly walked over towards the edge and just stood there, looking down at how far away the ground was below. If she jumped then she wouldn't be alone anymore. She would never feel this pain anymore and she would never be able to hurt anybody else ever again. There would be no more suffering, no more lies and hiding behind peoples backs, no more chances of her endangering anybody else's life, none of that would ever happen again if she just ended everything now. She stood there…and stood there…and after what felt like forever Sam moved, but she threw herself backwards so that she collapsed into a curled up ball on the rooftop.

"AHHH DAMMIT!" Sam screamed. She couldn't do it. She didn't want to die yet and there was so much that she still wanted to live to see. She wanted to see Jay grow old with his future family, she wanted to see Shredder fall and for her to live a life where she wasn't always looking over her shoulder to make sure that he wasn't watching her every move, she wanted to learn more about those that she had grown closer to in the clan, she wanted to travel and see South Korea where so many stories from her families past had taken place, and even though she knew it would never happen, she wanted to at least live on and hope that one day her and Mikey could be friends again.

Sam continued to think about these happier and calmer thoughts until she was finally able to breathe normally and see clearly again. She then stood up and made sure she had regained all function of her body again. Even though she had just been pacing around and throwing punches, she hadn't felt a single thing and hadn't really controlled any of her movements until now. She made sure she was okay and even practiced saying some basic phrases so that if she was questioned at headquarters she wouldn't crack and lose control of herself again. She took one final breath and took off running along the rooftops, making sure to stay focused and look out for anyone that might be following her along the way.

(This was written when I originally posted this chapter on a different website for the first time)

RIP Chester Bennington. I was going to see you live in concert in just a few weeks at the beginning of August and this was going to be my first concert. I was honored to know that your voice would be one of the first I'd ever hear live and I literally wouldn't believe my boyfriend this afternoon when he told me what had happened. I don't know about everyone else and their beliefs, but I do hope and believe that there's a heaven of some type, and I hope you're resting peacefully there. You don't realize that for people like me you're part of my daily to weekly routine. You're constantly on my phone because I'm constantly listening to you sing, and there are thousands of us out there where you may have no idea we exist, but we know you and you are a part of our daily lives and you will continue to be a part of it as well. You are a legend that I sadly missed the chance to see, but you will never be forgotten.

I wanted to write this since I had already completed this chapter and just needed to review it when the news of his death came out. I don't want anyone thinking that I wrote parts of this chapter because of this news. I've had the set up for this chapter planned for a long time now, but I also wanted to write this memorial here because I've been a fan of Chester and LP's music for a long time now and because he and all of Linkin Park have been one of my most favorite music groups for as long as I can remember. Their emotional music, both newer and older songs, have helped fuel my creativity throughout my time working on this story (which can be seen since some of their songs were listed as 'themes' for many of my past chapters) and even way before then their music was always unique and motivational and inspirational to me. Rest peacefully Chester, you mean a lot more to a whole lot of people than you will ever know.