AN: Still working on the next chapter of Stupor, but this idea wormed its way into my head after a rewatch of The Winning Spirit, and I made a little detour to get it out.

Lincoln opened his bedroom door with the utmost care and cautiously peered out into the hallway beyond. Satisfied that nobody was currently dashing through the crowded hall, or bouncing around like ping-pong balls, he cautiously stepped outside...and waited, baiting the metaphorical trap, and waiting to see if fate would partake. After a few moments passed without anything exploding (in any sense of the word), he allowed himself a short, cautiously optimistic sigh of relief.

"In a family as big as mine, you need to be prepared for shenanigans to happen at any time," He said, glancing to the side as he gently pulled his bedroom door shut behind him. "Seems like we have some big, inexplicable blow-up at least once a week, and sometimes three or four depending on the season. But since we've just gotten through two back-to-back, but strangely unrelated escapades, I'm hoping that means we're in for at least SOME quiet time..."

As if prompted by Lincoln's articulation of his thoughts, he was immediately cut off as one of the doors lining the hallway exploded off its hinges, flying with such velocity that it only traveled a short distance through the air before it shattered into fragments, raining tiny bits of door debris over the mercifully empty stairwell.

"...Then again," Lincoln corrected himself, rolling his eyes, "I guess we wouldn't be very Loud if things were ever quiet."

"Good one, Lincoln!" Resounded a voice far off in the distance.

Exhaling deeply, but accepting that this had officially become A Thing, Lincoln jogged toward the disturbance to see what help, if any he might need to render. Based on the location, it was Lynn and Lucy's door that had been set aflight, so the smart money was that this was a classic Ly—

"Groan!" Bemoaned the small, raven-haired girl standing in the now shattered doorway.

—yyyyucy adventure, Lincoln's brain frantically corrected itself, as he awkwardly skidded to a stop only a short distance away from his sister.

"...Good thing I'm not a gambling man," Lincoln said, glancing sideways. "...Anymore," He added a moment later, remembering the whole debacle with those David Steel blind-box toys.

"Heeeey, Luce," He said loudly, trying to sound cheerful for his sister, who somehow looked even more depressed than usual. "What's...what's going on here?"

"It happened again!" Lucy groaned, shaking her fists in obvious frustration. One of which, Lincoln noticed, was clutching the doorknob that would normally be attached to her now-exploded door. With an annoyed growl, Lucy flung the doorknob aside, causing it to sail upward—

CRASH

—and punch through the ceiling—

CRASH

—and then, presumably, through the attic ceiling, from the sound of things.

"...Oooooh, right," Lincoln said, nodding in understanding. "You...uh, got yourself possessed by that ghost so she could help you pass your fitness test. But she ended up hanging around and forcing you to train with her, getting you into crazy good shape. That's still...going?"

"You tell me," Lucy said, glumly, as she briefly flexed her arms, causing her biceps to bulge outward and shred straight through her sleeves.

"...Huh," Said Lincoln, blinking in surprise at the goth girl's latest uncharacteristic feat of strength. "Thought that would have gone away by now. Normally when something weird happens around here, things kind of just work themselves out after a day or two."

"It's because of Lynn," Lucy growled through gritted teeth. Had he been able to see his sister's eyes through her bangs, Lincoln was certain they would be flashing with anger. "She keeps dragging me off for early morning jogs, mid-day parkour, and late-night weight lifting sessions!"

"Have you tried telling her you aren't interested?"

"I did!" Lucy exclaimed, stamping one foot in frustration. As she did so, Lincoln couldn't help but notice that there was now a noticeable dent in the carpet beneath her foot. "But she won't listen! And…"

Lucy's shoulders sagged. "She's so happy to finally have a workout buddy who can keep up with her."

"...I have noticed that I suddenly had a weird amount of free time," Lincoln mused. "Aside from when she comes to me for her post-workout massage, obviously."

"Obviously," Lucy echoed, despondently.

Knowledge of his sudden, unanticipated windfall of good fortune warred furiously against Lincoln's big brother instincts, which refused to allow him to rest easy when one of his sisters was unhappy. But as he took in the sight of his little sister, the correct choice became abundantly clear.

"...Maybe I could help you out," Lincoln said, quieting his internal turmoil.

"...How?" Lucy asked, guardedly.

"Hello?" Lincoln said, gesturing at himself. "Who's the least athletic person in this family?"

"...It was a tie between you and Lily. But then we had our quarterly inter-family arm wrestling tournament—"

"Exactly," Lincoln quickly interjected, very much preferring not to dwell on the events of that night. "So if you're looking to get out of shape, I am obviously the expert you need."

He flexed his arm demonstratively, trying to hide the mild annoyance as the thing that normally passed for his "bicep" went downward.

"See?" He added. "I'm basically the anti-Lynn."

"You...kind of are," Lucy murmured, nodding in understanding. "And you'd...really help...me?"

"What are big brothers for?" Lincoln asked rhetorically, as he walked up to the younger girl and pulled her into a side hug. "Come on, I was going to watch my new Starship Groupers blu-ray set. We'll veg out and eat snacks. A couple of hours of that and I guarantee that your muscles will turn to pudding."

Lucy didn't immediately respond. The subsequent moments stretched out sufficiently long enough that Lincoln was just about to withdraw both his offer and his arm. But before he could, Lucy abruptly threw her arms around his waist, pulling him into a full-blown hug.

"Thank you, Lincoln," She murmured, her voice barely audible over the sound of Lincoln's vertebrae snapping sequentially.

"N-no prob, Lucy," He wheezed, bringing his trembling arms around and returning the hug as best he could.

"...Wow," Lincoln said a moment later as his fingers found purchase around Lucy's torso. "You're...uh, really firm, Luce."

"Mmmm," Came his sister's reply. It wasn't for another few seconds that Lincoln realized he'd been poking experimentally at various parts of his sister. Embarrassed, he stopped, forcing himself to simply rest his arms across her back, and opened his mouth to apologize—

"I didn't say stop,"

—only to choke on the words. And the very limited quantities of air that were managing to make it into his lungs.

"E-excuse me?" He asked, slightly worried that he might be suffering from oxygen-deprivation-induced hallucinations. Again.

"I said, to keep going!" Lucy growled, tightening her grip on Lincoln. There was a moment of confusion as Lincoln's arms splayed outward, and Lucy tightened her embrace, but the next thing Lincoln knew, he was staring down at the hallway carpet. And for once, his face wasn't buried in it.

"...Huh," Came Lucy's voice, and it was then that Lincoln realized his little sister was holding him aloft, effortlessly suspending him over her head.

"...Wow," Lincoln said, his voice slightly subdued as he took in their new orientation.

"Y-yeah," Lucy agreed, her voice shaking slightly. "Pretty...wow."

The hallway fell silent.

"S-so, uh," Lincoln began, clearing his throat. "You wanna go...watch that show...now?"

A thoughtful silence ensued.

"...No," Lucy said at last. "I think...I'm actually going to go for a run."

"Oh...kay," Lincoln replied, blinking in confusion. "Think you can put me down then?"

"...No," Lucy replied again. "I don't think I will."

"Erm," Lincoln hemmed as Lucy spun around and began jogging down the stairs. "Lucy? Maybe you should...Lucy! Wait!"

CRASH

"Oops," Murmured his little sister as she emerged into the bright afternoon sunlight, losing zero speed as her momentum carried her out of the house, and a little way down the street.

"...It's fine, Luce," Lincoln reassured her, fishing his phone out as he stared at the Lucy-shaped hole in their front door. "I'll let Lana know."

As he set about his task, he experienced a brief moment of vertigo as Lucy lowered him down, and gave him a weird, over-the-shoulder sort of hug.

"...Thank you, big brother," She said, softly. Chuckling in bemusement, Lincoln flopped around a bit and returned her hug as best he could.

"Any time, sis."