The next morning Jake woke up with a sense of purpose he hadn't felt since, well… probably since he was a kid and used to take dance lessons. Jake had always taken a liking to the performing arts when he was young, and looking back now, couldn't believe he felt the need to stop singing and dancing after his older, teenaged friends told him they thought it was gay.

You see, while Jake usually didn't give a lick what people thought of him, especially people who claimed to be his friends, he could get pretty protective when it came to his masculinity. Jake knew he was different from everyone else from a young age in the sense that he was attracted to girls as well as boys. When he hit puberty and started looking things up on the internet, finally, he learned there was a word for people like him – bisexual. Having a healthy level of self-esteem, Jake felt secure in taking on this newfound label, but he also knew better than to go around telling people about it. So he decided to keep it to himself, and figured maybe somewhere down the road he could experiment with guys in his adult life. No biggie.

He didn't assert his masculinity in some toxic, misogynistic way though. This probably came from watching his mom work her ass off and sacrifice so much just to support him. He knew his dad ran for the hills when he found out Danielle was pregnant, and Jake made it his life's mission to be the complete opposite of the man who turned out to be an utter stranger. He had respect for women and had a decent handful of girls for friends in his old town. And being in tune with his fluid sense of attraction from a young age lent him the belief that men and women were equal.

So his idea of subtly declaring his masculinity to his peers looked more like an outward hyper fixation on flirting and sleeping with girls, and doing dumb things like dropping out of dance class after his friends made a joke about it. That's when he traded in ballet shoes for a guitar and taught himself how to play from YouTube videos. This granted him the ability to hold onto something in the realm of music while maintaining an appearance of manliness.

It seemed ridiculous just how eager he was to have the chance to be part of some stupid after-school club, but couldn't help but be excited for this opportunity. While a mere twenty-four hours prior he dreaded the idea of having to start his social life over from scratch, now he embraced it more as a delightful clean slate. He couldn't believe he let his interest in performing slip away over the years as he fell down the rabbit hole of drugs and partying. He wondered how much more proficient he could have been in preparing for the audition if he had never given these skills up years ago. Dwelling on that thought alone was enough for him to stay up all night practicing his song. Well that, and every time to tried to go to sleep his mind raced with anticipation.

On the way to dropping Jake off at school, Danielle showered her son in encouragement and pride. When she got home from work after midnight the night before and heard Jake singing in his room, she let out a solacing sigh of relief. After watching him shamelessly self-destruct for years on end, she couldn't believe her plan to rehabilitate him was rolling into motion after just one day at McKinley High. Jake had a rough summer that consisted mostly of just wallowing in self-pity. He barely even wanted to play video games, and refused Danielle's many attempts to get him to give N.A. meetings try in addition to the community service the court had sentenced him to. In Jake's mind, he didn't have a drug problem – he was just a kid having fun with his friends, and it wasn't fair that he didn't get to hang out with them anymore after his arrest. So to say this tired single mother felt grateful would be an understatement.

Jake didn't give her the cold shoulder this time; although part of him wanted to, he couldn't muster up the negative energy that would have required. Danielle didn't want to rock the boat either, so she refrained from asking if he'd managed to get in contact with his half-brother.

xxx

Jake was running on three cups of coffee, which only intensified his case of the jitters as the caffeine piled on top of his anxiety for what was to come. There were so many people lined up with him from the choir room all the way to the auditorium, all of them sharing one single objective. Jake knew they weren't all going to be able to make the cut, which made him start to question his worth compared to the mile-long lot of other hopeful students. But they didn't want or need it as bad as him. He wanted it so bad he hadn't been able to concentrate in any of his classes… not that he was used to taking his school work seriously. He also didn't have one smoke since signing up the day before, determined to preserve his voice. He couldn't remember the last time he'd taken anything as seriously as this.

The line gradually got smaller and after about forty minutes someone from inside the auditorium came along looking for a 'Jake'. The now doe-eyed freshman looked up in the direction of the voice that called his name, and it was the first time he made eye contact with someone all day. He grabbed his guitar case and backpack, swinging both over his shoulder and hurried to follow this guy into the auditorium.

When they got inside, the guy who walked him in took a seat next to a teacher who Jake assumed to be the Glee club director. The anxious teen's skin got hot, as he noticed a drop of sweat fall from his forehead. He walked up on stage and felt the heat from the lights over-head. He didn't realize he'd be performing for like eight people, and his heart began to race. He pulled the sheet music for Never Say Never by The Fray out of his backpack and handed copies out to the band members with shaking hands.

"Hello sir, what's your name?" the man Jake now recognized from yesterday's assembly asked.

"Jake," he replied, pulling out his guitar.

"Do you have a last name, Jake?

Crap. Jake was actually accepting his fate in Lima as his chance at a fresh start. He glanced around at the people looking back at him and figured they probably all knew his brother if they were in Glee. He really didn't want to be compared to someone he'd never even met, especially if that someone had a rocky reputation. He practiced his ass off on this song, and figured his hard work should stand on its own. "Just…Jake." He sighed, shifting his eyes away from the teacher.

"Okay, well, show us what you've got, 'Just' Jake."

Jake used the next few seconds it took for the pianist to begin to adjust the mic stand before him. He joined in, strumming away at his guitar, but his mind wouldn't allow him to get lost in the music like he had at home. Last night, at least he was in the comfort of his own bedroom and nothing more than his own company. Now he was on this massive stage, with bright lights shining down on him, and a small crowd of fellow students watching him with full attention. His heart began to race and his skin felt like it was on fire. Still though, the song's intro was coming to an end, and Jake had no choice to persist at this point. He pushed the first few lines out from his diaphragm with a shaky voice.

"Some things, we don't talk about. Rather do without, and just hole the smile…"

His nerves steadily dissipated as his confidence grew. He was actually doing this, and doing it well.

"You can never say never. While we don't know when. But time and time again, younger now than we were before."

Jake loosened up, feeling more comfortable in his skin as both his voice grew as well as positive reactions from the audience.

"Don't let me go, don't let me go, don't let me go."

The violin and cello players joined in as Jake moved into the chorus.

"Don't let me go, don't let me go, don't let me go…"

Just as Jake started to let his guard down, he was interrupted…

"Okay Jake, thank you."

Jake was completely thrown off guard. He looked around the room for a sign that he could continue, but the students in the crowd kept to themselves and the musicians to Jake's left put down their instruments.

"What – I don't get to finish?"

"We've got a lot of people to see."

This wasn't fair. He didn't even get to the second verse which, in Jake's opinion, was where the song really started to pick up. He'd put all this effort into getting it right – the whole thing, and now they'd only be able to judge his performance off a small part of what Jake spent all freaking night working on. "But I've been practicing," he replied, getting defensive.

"We've seen enough. Thank you."

Jake was humiliated. His mind raced back and forth between wondering what he did wrong to deserve this, and pure disgust at this teacher for judging him unfairly. His heart was pounding and his blood began to boil. Rationally, Jake could tell that this man seemed sincere enough, but he wasn't interested in using the rational part of his brain in that moment. He felt wronged and rejected, similarly to how he felt toward his mom, the police, and his friends back home for the past three months. How could he let himself get his hopes up only to be let him down just as fast?

He didn't know what to do or say. He couldn't put coherent words together in his head to match the way he felt, and honestly, Jake was tired. Tired of the world being out to get him. He just wanted to perform, maybe make some new friends, and find a more productive way to fill his time while serving out probation. This whole thing was ridiculous, so Jake thought, why not act accordingly?

He put his guitar away in a fit of rage, grabbed his backpack, and stepped downstage as if to make an exit. Instead, his anger got the best of him as he threw the music stand beside the violinist to the ground.

The students and adults alike from the audience were taken aback as the music stand hit the stage floor with a loud thud and papers went flying.

The guy who brought him in for his audition stood up to swiftly call him out. "That's rude and unacceptable."

"I'll handle this…" The Glee director gestured for his assistant to take a seat. "Jake – come on man, why don't you pick up the music stand."

Jake froze, but only for a moment. He almost considered obliging for the sake of getting into Glee club, but couldn't swallow his pride enough to follow through on that thought. He always had a problem taking orders from authority, even when the stakes were much higher than getting picked to be in some after-school club.

Articulate words still weren't forming as Jake's eyes bugged out in disbelief. If this guy wanted him to behave, he shouldn't have disrespected Jake first. Jake bowed out with a smirk as he exited the stage through the back.

xxx

Jake walked around the surrounding hallways, stairwells, and entranceways trying to navigate his way back to the front of the school. He went to check his phone and saw a text from his mom that read, "I'm here" to which he rolled his eyes. Whatever, he figured – he wasn't in the mood to walk home anyway; but then again, maybe walking would clear his head more than dealing with his mom. This was just another part of his life he had no control over.

He couldn't believe what happened back in the auditorium, reverting to the victim mentality that consumed him before he signed up to audition for Glee, this time with a whole new level of rage added on. Jake considered knocking a music stand over as child's play compared to the shit he continuously got himself into in his old town.

After a few minutes, he found his way outside and headed toward his mom's car across the street. She asked him how the try-out went and he explained. She gave him some well-meaning advice on how to conduct himself next time something happens to set him off, as well as reassurance that he might still have a chance at getting picked. He felt bad for the slight attitude he spat back at her, but couldn't help how mad he was. She should feel lucky he wasn't blaming her for putting him in this predicament to begin with, going back to how he shouldn't have been forced to come to McKinley in the first place.

xxx

The weekend that followed felt like torture for Jake as he did nothing besides lay in bed and blow through a couple packs of smokes. His mind wouldn't let him rest, wrestling between feelings of anger, sadness, and anxiety. Part of him started to think maybe he was in the wrong for what happened at the audition, but he was more mad at the Glee club director for cutting him off, and the students in the room for not speaking up to defend him. Jake knew he was good and that he deserved to sing more of his song.

He considered hitting up Kitty or Ryder to hang out, or maybe even playing some guitar for fun. But years of drug abuse made it difficult for Jake to pull himself out of a funk, so without any extra assistance besides some nicotine to momentarily curb the heavy emotions that weighed him down, he allowed himself to stew in it. He ended up making dinner on Saturday night, but that was more for his mom to have something when she got home late from work than it was for his own well-being.

Jake spent Sunday fending off urges to score some weed and alcohol, knowing deep down he didn't want to mess up his probation or let his mom down. But it was hard to commit to something when he wasn't doing it for himself. He never would have gotten sober if he wasn't forced into it, and even continued using during those first few weeks of probation. He wasn't hurting anyone, and it's not like he had an overdose or anything, so why couldn't the cops just leave him alone? Why did they have to go and mess his whole life up? But in Jake's warped perspective on his current predicament, feeling crushed over some stupid Glee club song felt by far more like a rock bottom than getting arrested.

These thoughts went on for hours in Jake's head. His mom got home earlier on Sunday, but Jake wasn't in the mood to talk to her about anything. Eventually Jake found the will to have some leftovers for dinner, take a quick shower, and play some video games before bed.

xxx

The next week at school was a total drag, although his friendship did develop a little deeper with Kitty. He even opened up to her more about his past, and learned about hers too, like how she lost all her middle school friends because of some dumb drama on the cheerleading team. That's why she acted like such a bitch, apparently; she wasn't mean, she was assertive. That's why she was willing to do whatever it took to demand respect from her peers, like taking care of Coach Sylvester's newborn to hold onto the title of co-captain with Brittany. Brittany was the blonde girl who passed around the sign-up sheet for Glee club. Apparently, she was a super-senior this year and had more than paid her dues with the coach enough than to have to take on the role of caretaker.

He didn't see Ryder in gym or lunch anymore and wondered if he got his schedule changed. Or maybe he was studying like he alluded to doing a lot of last week. He considered shooting Ryder a text but didn't want to it to be weird. The kid was probably busy enough, and if he wanted to talk to Jake, he could reach out first.

Jake stalked the choir room for two days looking for the new list of Glee club members to be posted, despite being certain he wouldn't make the cut. When Wednesday rolled around and the list was finally posted, Jake wasn't surprised to see his name wasn't on it. That didn't stop him from feeling slighted, though, as he tore the sheet off the bulletin board and sulked away.

That night after school he had his weekly meeting with the probation officer and drug test, as well as community service. He pissed clean as per usual but didn't know how he was expected to keep this act up without something to occupy his time and energy. He supposed he would have to keep white-knuckling it until he was released and could pick right back up with his partying where he left off.

xxx

Jake was surprised when Mr. Schuester called him into his office the next day at school. First he disrespected his performance by cutting it short, then reprimanded him for knocking over the music stand, and now what? - Was he gonna give him detention for pulling some dumb Glee club form off the wall?

"You wanted to see me?" Jake asked, walking into the Spanish office.

"Yes, I wanted to talk to you about your audition." Mr. Schue motioned for Jake to have a seat but the rebellious teenager refused.

"Do you have any idea how hard I worked on that song? I was up all night getting it right, and you didn't even let me finish."

"Glee Club performs in front of hundreds of people – some of them might boo you. You gonna throw a mic stand at them?"

"So I'm angry. I got a right to be," Jake replied, to which the teacher didn't look amused. "You don't know me, you don't know my life."

Will opened a folder in front of him. "I do know your brother, Jake."

Jake's eyes moved to the ground.

"Puckerman."

"- Half brother," he continued, turning his back to his superior and walking toward the window. "Our dad's like an NBA player – there could be fifty other Puckermans running around Ohio."

"Noah never mentioned anything about having a brother."

"He doesn't know." Jake sighed, but wasn't going to let this distract him from the fact that they were supposed to be talking about his audition. "I get it – now that you know I'm related to your boy I'm good enough for your stupid club?"

"No. When I saw that you were related to him I realized how much good Glee club did him. It made me want to take a chance on you." Will got up from his desk to meet Jake by the window. "But you've got to get that chip off your shoulder. And I interrupted your audition because I knew after the first verse that I wanted you in this club."

No, there's no way, Jake thought. He didn't believe him – he couldn't. But suddenly, he couldn't believe himself for how he reacted. Besides flipping the music stand, he had just spent almost a week of his life down in the dumps – and for what?

When Jake didn't say anything back, Will continued, "You're really good, Jake."

Jake looked back at him with wide eyes. "You… think I'm good?"

"Yeah."

Jake took a moment to think. He wanted to be in Glee club more than anything, at this point, even more than he wanted to move back to his old town. But then again, he didn't like the way Mr. Schue was talking to him, putting on this fake-nice act, and subtly insulting his character by sprinkling in some compliments here and there. He didn't believe him anyway. If Mr. Schue really thought he was good, why couldn't he just let Jake finish the song to begin with?

"No… I'm not changing. I like this chip on my shoulder and I'm not losing it to sing for you. I'm not my brother." He looked away and let himself out of the office. He didn't get to be in Glee club, but so what? At least he got to hang onto his pride.

xxx

Jake had to pass the auditorium on his way out at the end of the day. As he walked by he could hear the Glee club rehearsing. He decided to peek inside and check it out. A spark of inspiration came over him as he watched the small group of students sing and dance in sync, taking directions from Mr. Schuester. He felt torn, turning his back to walk away nonetheless. He almost stopped himself, looking back one more time, before finally leaving the auditorium.

A/N: another chapter down, I hope you guys liked this one. 😊 Next time is Britney Spears week in the Glee club, and things start to get interesting for these characters! I know this chapter was a little dull bc I had to get through the audition process, but there will be lots of drama soon to come! I'm hoping to stick to this weekly chapter rollout. So have a good one guys!