Chapter 6: Guadosalam
"So… how are we supposed to do this?"
Auron stared at the Gate which allowed visitors to enter into the Farplane, his brows drawn together. Rikku stopped next to him, frowning. She hadn't considered that Auron wouldn't know what to do. Thinking it over, though, he'd never actually had to enter or leave the Farplane before. His 'life' as an Unsent had begun and ended in Spira. Pushing aside her apprehension, Rikku put on her most confident smile.
"I mean… I think you just go for it?" she offered with a shrug. "I stepped out and boom! There I was, a real girl in the real world."
He stopped trying to bore a hole into the ephemeral wall with his eye long enough to give her a look. "You just go for it," he deadpanned.
She laughed nervously and then glanced at the exit, considering how to explain the feeling of becoming real to him. It was all too similar to Braska's plea in Zanarkand: yet another impossible task that she somehow needed to come up with a solution for. After a fruitless struggle with her words, she gave up. "I mean, you're already dead. What's the worst that could happen?"
"Don't tempt fate." Despite his curt words, he grabbed her hand and stepped towards the Gate with no warning.
"Whoa!" she yelled, off-balance from being yanked after him. The veil of the Gate slipped over her skin like a brush of cool silk. She knew this feeling; the last time she'd experienced it, Auron had been the one urging her through. This time, their roles were reversed. Her surprise turned into a soft gasp when her feet hit the ground on the other side before his. She looked back to see him still grasping onto her hand, his passage unnaturally slowed. His eye widened as the magical wall pushed him back. Before he could lose his grip she turned and grabbed onto his wrist with her other hand.
Her clutch around his arm tightened, meeting resistance, and she pulled against it. It was nothing like her own transition, as easy as passing through air, light as her own breath. Bringing Auron across was, by contrast, like dragging him through thick, gelatinous sludge.
"Don't give up," she gasped when his fingers loosened.
Auron grimaced and then brought his other hand to join hers. It wasn't so much of a physical barrier between them but a weight; as if this was the true burden of forming his emotions into a tangible entity in the outer world. The force of his yearning and regret was immense, but it was that very heaviness that made him so real to her. It wasn't his sorrows and hardships that held him back; this pressure was the weight of the happiness they'd shared in the past. The good memories, she realized, were what really tied him to remain in the world, not the bad ones. Understanding that solidified her resolve to see him through no matter how much resistance she felt.
His hand gripped hers more tightly and he fought through it, his face contorting with pain.
"Does it hurt?" she asked, though she already knew the answer just by watching him struggle.
He smiled grimly and gritted out an answer for her. "Not… really."
Rikku put her back into it, redoubling her efforts to pull him through. I'm not leaving anyone behind anymore!
Finally his hand emerged on the other side, followed slowly by his arms. And then all at once he tumbled into her as if a line holding him back had snapped. Crashing into one another, they rolled across the floor with the force of it, coming to a stop precariously close to the top of the stairs.
They sprawled over the ground in an uncomfortable tangle of limbs and bruises. From the way he was panting against her, Auron was even worse off than she was. Letting herself lay there for a moment, she took a few deep breaths to steady her heartbeat. "Why'd you lie?" she wheezed out when she could speak.
Eventually, Auron slid off of her and rolled over, gracelessly bumping down a few steps in the process. "It wasn't a lie," he grunted as he righted himself. "That pain was nothing compared to losing the three of you."
Sitting up, Rikku looked down at him and sighed. "C'mon. Stop it. Don't be like that."
He tilted his head upwards to squint at her. "Like what? A realist?"
"A party pooper!" she yelled, nudging him with her toe. It was good to see that he'd come back in a body that was younger than the one he'd worn during Yuna's Pilgrimage, but the dour look on his face was adding years to his expression. "Why are you being so gloomy? We made it, didn't we?"
He stood up more slowly than she did, wincing and holding his side. "Because I'm dead, Rikku. And this is only temporary."
She sucked in her breath. "Temporary?" Her fists clenched. "I'm going to find a permanent solution for us. I'm gonna get it right this time. Being in Spira without you…" She dropped her head, watching her nails dig crescents into the meat of her palms without really feeling the pain. "I wasn't alive either, Auron. Not really. It sucked." She shut her mouth before any more words could come spilling out. He'd just left the Farplane, and she didn't want to start off his triumphant return to Spira with a reality check on just how miserable she'd been without him.
He must have sensed something of the torrent of emotions she dammed up and reached out to touch her arm gently. "Forgive me for not being able to share in your optimism. This world… has not treated me kindly. I can't sustain myself on naïve hope anymore." He drew her down towards him, folding her into his arms. "But even this much is a gift. None of it would be possible without you, and I'm grateful. More than you can know. I just won't delude myself into believing we can have something that was never meant to be."
He sounded so fatalistic that it hurt. Squeezing her eyes shut, she took that pain and used it to cut through the haze of her own aching memories. I don't care what Auron thinks about it. This is a chance, and I'm gonna take it.
"I'll prove to you that this isn't just my wishful thinking. I'm an aeon now. Our whole specialty is turning dreams into reality." She leaned back and smiled at him, pushing some of his unruly grey hair away from his temples. "Now let's get out of here before the tourists start flooding the Farplane. We're a little too conspicuous, don't you think?"
Looking down the stairs, Auron sighed. "Yes… a good idea. No matter what I look like right now, I'm sure my presence will prompt unwanted questions."
Rikku grabbed his cheeks and pulled him in for a quick kiss. "You look like the man I love. In other words, perfect. The problem is you're dressed like him, too. Everybody in Spira knows that red coat." Grabbing his hand, she turned and led him down the stairs. "We need to get out of here before people spot you and make a connection."
As they rushed down the corridor leading back towards the city, they met a steady trickle of tourists visiting the Farplane. They were garnering several looks, and with a jolt Rikku realized that she hadn't re-donned her disguise. Her long hair was still blonde and bound in her signature braided ponytail, and her eyes were swirls of unmistakable green.
"Shoot… I think they recognize me," she muttered, leading them past a curious couple whispering behind their hands. "And even if they don't, I look so Al Bhed!"
Auron's fingers tightened around her own. "That's nothing to be ashamed of." He hugged the wall, using her as a physical barrier between himself and the curious stares of onlookers. "I'm more worried that they recognize me," he murmured into her ear. "My coat's the problem?" He stopped to push the red fabric down to pool around his waist, exposing both of his bare arms.
As a result, everyone got an eyeful of Auron's finely chiseled biceps. A few women who were now very definitely staring tittered, their cheeks reddening.
"That's not much less flashy than just wearing your coat," she hissed. "Put those guns away!"
"I'm not carrying any guns—" he whispered before she shushed him and glared at the offending musculature. With a sigh, he shrugged his coat back on. "Make up your mind," he growled as she jostled him out onto the street.
Resisting the urge to simply dive off the balcony onto the path below to save time, she hustled him along the less well-lit pathways towards Leblanc's hotel. While it wasn't as crowded as the path to the Farplane, they were still garnering too much attention. A smaller, less-traveled local tailor shop caught her eye, and she changed course to take shelter inside as an idea sparked.
"What are we doing here?" Auron pushed away the strips of colorful fabric dangling from bolts that had been suspended along the ceiling with an air of harried annoyance.
"Strategizing," Rikku explained, pulling the fabric back in place to shield him from the curious clerk. Her eyes flitted over the distinctly Guado tailoring on offer before settling on a larger navy blue jacket, holding it up against Auron's back.
"You can't be serious. This was obviously made for a Guado." He gestured at the elongated arms of the coat.
She clucked her tongue, testing the width of his shoulders against the cut of the fabric. "You're gonna need a disguise," she murmured. "In fact, start thinking up of a new name while I come up with something on this end."
"This won't fit me," he repeated.
She threw the jacket over his head, cinching it closed beneath his chin with the sleeves. "Doesn't matter. You can still hide your face with it." Grabbing a few more accessories and supplies, she all but flung her gil at the surprised shopkeeper. "Keep the change!" she chirped, dragging Auron back outside.
They hurried to the hotel, now definitely catching eyes as they passed. Fortunately (or not), the attention was once again centered on her rather than Auron.
"Wait. Isn't this Seymour's mansion? 'The Guado –' what?" he muttered, sounding utterly bewildered as he read the glittering sign above the door. They entered the lobby together and Auron tensed up when she approached the receptionist with a confident smile.
As expected, the She-Goon behind the counter was vibrating with excitement. "Miss Pollendina! We weren't expecting such an honored guest..." Her voice trailed off as she stared at Auron, who was still masking his appearance under the folds of the new jacket. "… and her mysterious male companion! Will you be requiring two rooms tonight, or…?"
Cringing, Rikku silently bid farewell to her privacy. She could almost see the gil signs behind the She-Goon's mask, already calculating the money the Leblanc Syndicate would collect selling her 'discreet rendezvous' to the tabloids, not to mention the free advertising she was giving the Syndicate by choosing to stay at their luxury resort.
"Just the one," she replied sweetly through her grit teeth.
"Oh my, congratulations!" the She-Goon gushed. "You're in luck! The Presidential suite just happens to be available right now." She dangled a key before them.
"Sorry, we can't afford that," Rikku cut in. "Maybe something a little less—"
"Less?! Why, we couldn't possibly! You're a celebrity, Miss Pollendina. I'm sure Mistress Leblanc would be willing to extend you the full courtesy of The Guado Salon," the woman insisted, pushing the key into her hands. "And even if she doesn't, monthly down payments on your investment here are always negotiable." Rikku swore she could hear the sound of a cash register ringing behind those words.
"Thanks," she grumbled, leading Auron up the stairs.
"Seymour's mansion turned into a guesthouse?" he asked her as they climbed. He shied away from one of the wall hangings sporting Leblanc's trademark heart with a look of disgust. "I can't decide which is worse: my memories of this place or its current incarnation."
"Look, it's really not all that bad," Rikku muttered. "Besides, have you ever tried the massage parlor here? It's out of this world—"
"Rikku."
Her shoulders slumped. "Ok, fine. I owe the owner, alright? After I fell into the Farplane, Leblanc put up everyone who was looking for me for free. Besides, we need a place to crash so I can come up with a plan to get you out of here safely."
Auron continued to soak in the tacky pink décor with as much aplomb as he could muster. He paused, spotting the full-body portrait of Nooj at the end of the hallway. "Yevon!" he swore reflexively as the lower half of the picture came into his view.
"Leblanc's in love with Nooj, and Nooj is in love with onesies," she explained, cringing a little and shielding her eyes from Leblanc's vigorous homage to the male body. "Also, Leblanc, umm… well, she always did like a good hyperbole."
"A hyperbole?" he said, turning away from the portrait with a pained look. "Is that what you call depicting a man that generously endowed in a skintight bodysuit? What sort of a hotel is this anyway?"
"The free kind." Fumbling with the key, Rikku unlocked the large double doors before her. She could practically feel the receptionist below cataloguing their every move as she pushed him inside. Once the doors were safely shut, she sagged against them and groaned. "That could have gone so much better. Ugh!"
Wasting no time, Auron strode into the center of the large room, taking in its contents. "Only one way out… through the front doors," he observed with displeasure. The frown on his face was growing deeper. "How does anyone sleep in a place like this?"
"With sheer willpower," she answered, wincing as he spotted the bed.
Auron stared at the offending piece of furniture, glaring as though his lone eye could set it and its satin pink sheets on fire. "This bed is shaped like a heart. And it vibrates. Did you take me to a love hotel?"
"Well…"
"Just why is there a love hotel in the middle of Guadosalam?!" Now he was eying some of the scented bath products with a look of mild apprehension and disgust.
"Ask Leblanc, not me," Rikku sighed, considering the enormous tub with slightly more enthusiasm than Auron. A bath sounded like exactly what she needed right now, and if there was one thing Leblanc always got right, it was pampering. "Oh, and strip."
Ignoring his furious brewing silence, she brushed past Auron and began laying out her newly-purchased prizes on the bed, her mind focused on working out how to properly disguise him.
"I am not making use of this hotel room, Rikku," he finally said, sitting heavily on the edge of the bed and watching as she worked. "I can't imagine anything more off-putting than…" He gestured vaguely at the entirety of the suite. "This."
"Very funny, Auron. I didn't bring you here to jump your bones again." Straightening, she crossed her arms and frowned. "You need to get out of your signature red or people are gonna talk. You look too much like yourself to pass for an Auron fanboy if you keep dressing the way you always do."
Shifting, Auron looked away from her, obviously unhappy. He startled as he caught sight of himself in the mirror… on the ceiling. "You're right. I don't suppose we can just lay low?"
She felt a twinge of sympathy for him; this wasn't the way she'd wanted to reintroduce Auron to Spira. At least she'd had some time to acclimate to the discomfort of her unwanted celebrity. "Well, I wish, but apparently I'm even more famous than you right now. And maybe not in the good way. I think it's better if you don't take any chances."
Groaning, Auron pulled out his long ponytail. "This will have to go as well too, won't it?" He sighed. "I haven't needed to cut my hair since I was seventeen."
"Let's not jump the gun here," she said, abruptly remembering the feel of his silken hair running unbound through her fingers. He only let his hair down at his most unguarded moments. He didn't look very guarded right now, in fact. She bit her lip, her fingertips twitching.
Focus! Think of Nooj's onesie!
That image instantly cooled any embers that might have been sparking to life. Wincing, she turned her attention to the crumpled blue jacket she'd bought. Smoothing it out only confirmed that the proportions were all wrong for a human. The shoulders, however, were broad enough to fit Auron's massive frame. Plucking it off the bed, she got to work, tugging at the stitches holding the garment together and slicing through what little of the sleeves that she couldn't pick apart with her dagger.
There was a rustle of cloth beside her; Auron was removing his red overcoat with reluctance.
"I know." She dropped the Guado vest. "Your hair, your clothes… it's been with you so long it's like it's a part of who you are, right? I felt that way too when I disguised myself coming here."
"Hnn." Despite his agreement, he held his red coat out to her. She twisted the fabric between her hands, holding it close to her face and inhaling deeply. "Thank you for your service," she murmured. Then, digging her fingers in, she pulled.
"Wait, what are you –" Auron yelled, reaching for her. He froze as the sound of a loud rip echoed through the room.
Stopping would mean second-guessing herself, so Rikku sped up instead, quickly and brutally stripping his pauldron away from the red fabric. "Here, see?" she said, holding it up, unable to suppress her smile when she noticed the phoenix down she'd given him – a little tatty from wear – still dangling from it. "Guado fashion might not exactly gel with this vintage Bevellian warrior-monk aesthetic, but this is important to you. We're not letting it go."
Reaching for the blue jacket, she fitted his pauldron onto it. One needle and more than a few stitches later, it was done. "It doesn't look half-bad," she said. "Try it on and I'll make some adjustments."
Sighing, he struggled into the coat, unused to the chintinous layering style of Guado fashion. He stood with patience as she tugged, tweaked, and adjusted the new garment until it fit him properly. Rather than being too long, the sleeves were now a little too short. Despite that, he looked good in it; if she was being honest with herself, there wasn't much someone as well-built as Auron could wear that would make him look bad.
Stepping back, she eyed her work critically. "It still needs something," she mused, her eyes landing on the frayed edges of the ruined red coat. She reached down and ripped a few more strips from it, ignoring the way Auron's face twitched every time she tore another piece of fabric away. "Sorry!"
He simply nodded, stoically standing witness to the destruction of his favorite overcoat.
Quickly, she fashioned some Guado-styled shin covers to slip over his fairly recognizable boots. "Aaaand… one other thing," she mused. Taking a few more strips of red fabric, she carefully wound them into a head-tie that covered most of his scarred eye and cheek.
Auron sat patiently through it all, submitting to her ministrations with good grace. His eye was trained on her the entire time as she fastened the cloth around his head.
"From the old, something new," he murmured as she worked, catching her shiver at the sound of his voice. His gaze sharpened; it felt like lightning dancing over her skin.
Dropping her hands, she cupped his chin and lifted an eyebrow. "I thought you said you wouldn't be caught dead using this bed."
"I already am dead," he said, reaching for her. "You're very efficient when you work."
"Oh?"
"I find such displays of competence to be stimulating." He was smirking now, and definitely interested in wasting her time, pink satin sheets notwithstanding.
"Wait wait wait! Lemmie fix something first," she blurted, reaching for his head-tie and adjusting it into a blindfold. He tensed, but in a way that made her grin in anticipation. "There. See? Now you don't have to look at anything in this room," she teased, pushing him backwards. "Soooo… seeing as how I'm gonna be paying for this suite anyhow, what do you say we kill a few hours?"
"Dasbdnacc," he muttered under his breath, remaining deceptively pliant under her fingertips. "I suppose I can't object."
.x.x.x.
They crept out of the room at an hour so late it counted as early in the morning, hoping to sneak away unnoticed. As expected, the reception desk was closed and the She-Goon was nowhere in sight. The lobby, however, was not empty.
As soon as she rounded the bottom of the stairs, Rikku was blasted with sphere light so bright it made her squint. "Wha—?!"
A rush of voices assaulted her, blending into one noisy, confusing morass of questions. She blinked, the flashing lights of the sphere cams catching her off-guard.
"Miss Rikku Pollendina! So it's true, you've finally come out of your seclusion in Besaid to join the rest of Spira! What made you decide to break your silence?"
"Yes, I left Besaid! I just wanted a change of scenery, that's all!" As she pushed the reporter away, another took his place just as quickly. This one was Al Bhed, and spoke with a near-crazed reverence.
"Lady Pollendina! Have you been in contact with the Al Bhed Dynasty Restoration project? Are you finally accepting your nomination as an Al Bhed ambassador to the rest of Spira?"
She recoiled from the woman's attempts to grab her hand. "What? What ambassador? I'm on vacation! Stop that, you're being a real creeper!"
Auron stepped in, his face like thunder, and shoulder-checked the nosy reporter out of her personal space. "Come on," he grunted, wrapping an arm around her and pulling her through the lobby despite the dogged reporters trailing after them.
Over her shoulder, she heard a yell as another eager journalist slipped through Auron's defenses. "Miss Pollendina! What do you know of the strange events occurring in Macalania forest? Has Lady Yuna expressed any thoughts on the New Yevon movement claiming to be re-establishing the existence of the Fayth?"
A surge of protectiveness had her spinning. "Hey! You leave Yunie out of this!" she shouted back, cringing as she realized she'd exposed herself to another round of shouted questions.
"That was a mistake," Auron murmured in her ear, dragging her toward the doors. "We can lose them outside." He grunted as a news anchor threw herself before them, blocking the exit with a sphere cam that she waved directly into Rikku's face.
"Rikku! Aren't you intimately involved with the leader of the Machine Faction? Does he know you're here? Is the mysterious man behind you your new beau?"
"What? No, I'm not in a relationship with Gippal! We're just friends! Please… let us through!"
Auron stepped in front of her, his lips pressed into a thin scowl. "This 'mysterious man' is quickly losing his patience. Move aside."
With a preternatural readiness that spoke of a planned operation, the reporter switched her attention to Auron, crowding him with the sphere cam. "And who might you be, sir? Where did you come from? Are you and Rikku Pollendina in a relationship? An illicit one? What were you two doing at The Guado Salon in the Presidential suite?"
"My name? My name is…" He paused for only a moment, before continuing smoothly. "Aaron. And it's none of your business what we were doing here. Excuse us." Then, he simply shoved the reporter out of the way, pulling Rikku after him. He slammed the hotel doors shut behind him, blocking the shouting paparazzi inside. "Give me something to bind the door with," he instructed her.
Rikku pulled out a few long strips of red cloth she'd pilfered from his old jacket and helped him wrap them around both door handles, tying the ends off to form a makeshift lock.
"This won't hold," Auron observed grimly as the door shuddered.
"Run?" Rikku asked, stepping away from the door.
"Run," he agreed, and they took off at a dead sprint.
Later, as they regrouped in the forest outside, Rikku caught her breath and laughed. "Aaron? What kind of a name is Aaron?"
"I don't know, Rikkma," Auron challenged her. "What kind of a name do you think it is?"
"Alright, you got me," she relented. "We need a better cover story, though. That was brutal." Checking their surroundings, she stepped behind Auron and concentrated, shortening her hair back into an unassuming brown. Blinking, her eyes followed suit. "This should help. How do I look?" she asked, winking.
He was silent for a moment, staring at her with a slight frown. "I didn't know you could do that," he eventually replied.
"Well, I didn't know you could act."
"Neither did I," he admitted, prompting her laughter. An amused look flitted over his face, but it drained away as he reached for her chin and gently turned her head, studying her from different angles. "I don't like the way you look now," he admitted. "I prefer the real you."
She shrugged. "It's only fair. You can't even wear your red coat anymore."
Auron shook his head, running his fingers carefully down her cheek. "Clothing is merely decoration on our bodies. Your eyes, your hair… those are your identity as an Al Bhed. You can't compare asking someone to change their clothing with asking someone to change their face."
It was the second time he'd mentioned being uncomfortable with the idea of her so casually discarding her heritage. He, a man raised as one of the most conservative warrior-monks in the entire Yevonite church, was actually chastising her for trying to hide her ethnicity for their convenience. It was such a turnaround from their first meeting during Braska's pilgrimage that it made her heart thud against her chest as a swell of emotion closed her throat.
He leaned over, resting his forehead against hers. "Don't change who you are for anyone. Especially not me." He tugged at her short, brown hair with a look of frustration. "And don't mask yourself like this. Even if it's difficult being the Al Bhed princess right now, I'll protect you. My vow to you still stands."
Tiptoeing up, touched her lips against his, closing her eyes. When she opened them again, they were green, and her hair had returned to its natural state. "That… means a lot to me," she said, feeling the inadequacy of her words to express the sudden swell of love she felt for this man. "Thank you."
"You don't have to thank me for loving you." His arms tightened around her. "Not when it's your own effort that forced my eyes open so I could see you for who you really are." He hesitated. "Despite what I said in the Farplane, I'm still glad you did. I hate the idea of obscuring that. Of forcing you to hide."
She spent a few quiet, precious moments simply resting in his arms, reveling in the chance to enjoy the simple pleasure of his presence. All too soon, she felt him shift and gently push her away.
"If we remain here for long, we'll be discovered. And possibly charged with a felony."
"Are you sure you don't want me to just fly us right out of here?"
Grimacing, Auron directed her towards the road. "You can't even escape from a hotel room without being overwhelmed by reporters. What makes you believe transforming into an airship will be simpler?"
She crossed her arms and sulked. "I think I liked you better two minutes ago, when you were being all supportive of me."
He took her by the elbow and linked his arm through hers, strolling along the path. "I'm still being supportive. You need to think of me as the voice of your volition. I'm just preventing you from making bad calls."
Snorting, Rikku snuggled into his side. "I think you just want to see the Moonflow with me. When did you become such a big romantic?"
"Hnn," he answered, though he tightened his elbow around her arm.
"It's still gonna take us three or four days to reach the north bank if we walk," she pointed out. "Even more if we keep walking like this."
"I've come to realize that the journey can have more value than the destination," he said mildly. "We can shorten our trip when we near Djose. Right now, I want to see all of Spira. I haven't set foot here in over a decade."
"Yeah, well..." Rikku glanced around the forest. "We might have to fight fiends, you know."
Auron peered at her and then thrust out his free hand. A few pyreflies gathered around it, solidifying into the Masamune. The black, split-bladed sword gleamed in the light. He hefted it onto his shoulder and smirked. "Is that going to be a problem for you?"
Rikku skipped away from him, calling out her Godhand. Winking, she held it up and let the claw snap and crackle with electricity. "It'll be just like old times, huh?"
"Sure. Try to keep up," he told her, continuing down the path past her with a roguish grin.
.x.x.x.
Compared to the excitement of Guadosalam, the forested path leading towards the Moonflow was peaceful. There wasn't really anything more exciting to fight than the occasional Archaeothyris or Blue Elemental, and they made good time. Auron, much to Rikku's delight, seemed to be enjoying himself. There hadn't been any further incidents of him transforming into something more fiendish, and she planned to keep it that way.
While she did actually catch the eye of some of the travelers who passed them on the road due to her family's status, Auron's disguise seemed to be holding up well. The headband obscured half of his face, and he'd cut off his ponytail, much to her chagrin. Between his youthful appearance and the lack of his red overcoat, he looked like any other Spiran equipped for traveling the roads on foot.
More often than not, though, the tranquil atmosphere of their hike was interrupted by the hum of machina moving up and down the roads. Transports taxied guests to and from the Moonflow at regular intervals. Unmanned machina donated by the Machine Faction patrolled the roads to keep them safe from fiends and guard the transports. While the machina presence did add more security to their travels, the noise and the smell generated by the equipment felt out of place in the otherwise lush, wild forest setting.
When they settled down off the road to make camp that evening, Auron cleared his throat, catching her attention. "I thought you'd be happier to see machina use being so widely accepted throughout Spira."
Rikku sat back on her heels, nodding. "Well… it's not like I don't understand. Gippal pushed them out to defend people from the fiends. There's less of them, see, but they've gotten stronger."
He nodded. "I noticed. It's because of the lack of active summoners."
"You figured that too?" She sighed. "Almost nobody Sends the dead anymore. So it's understandable that people would turn to machina to protect themselves. I appreciate that, but…" She trailed off, feeling guilty.
Auron waited her out, his silence comfortable rather than intimidating.
"I miss the quiet," she finally admitted. "Ever since the Eternal Calm, people have gotten… louder. Like we're all collectively shouting to drown out our sad past." She raised her hands and shook her head. "I mean, I don't mind it! But there was something beautiful in the quiet moments, too."
She looked up at the darkening sky, already peppered with the first stars, and thought of Bikanel. Of Gippal, looking up to the sky, his face a study of conflicted fear and regret. It might have been rotten for her to think it, but knowing that even the leader of the Machine Faction was facing the same doubts made her feel less alone.
"I'm afraid that with all the shiny new toys we have now, we're losing the parts of ourselves that knew how to be still." A self-depreciating laugh escaped her. "You know, for a while there Yunie and I were fighting about it, too. She thought Spira was moving forward a little too fast. And she didn't like the hot pants I'd made for her," she giggle-snorted, before sobering. "Yunie was always able to see things more clearly than the rest of us. I didn't notice any of this back then. I was one of the people shouting the loudest, teaching everyone how to use machina whenever and wherever I could."
Auron settled by her side, catching one of her braids between his fingers and fondling it. "You didn't have eternity back then," he answered. "You, like the rest of Spira, were caught up in living for the moment. Human lives are short, and people want to make the most of them."
"So you think becoming an aeon gave me a new perspective? Am I a different person now?" she asked, feeling uncomfortably self-aware.
He threw the question back on her. "Has becoming an Unsent turned me into a different person?"
"No! Of course not!" she answered without hesitation.
He sighed, giving her an inscrutable look. "All that your new body has given you is the time to change your perspective." Twisting her braid deftly, he brought it to his lips. "That's part of what it means to grow. As long as you don't cling to the past and continue to look toward the future, you'll remain true to yourself. Human or aeon."
Rikku turned the meaning of his words over in her head. "Wait, so what about you –"
He laughed and shook his head, dropping her braid. "I can't become unstuck in time the way you are. I can feel it. The moment I stop standing still, the only direction I have left to grow towards is regret and malice. There's no upward momentum for my kind."
A chill struck her. "Your kind? Don't say it like that!"
Auron put his arm around her and drew her close. "It's the truth," he said simply.
She pushed him off. "It's not my truth!"
He watched her with his lone eye, keeping his silence. Then he broke first, looking away from her with a sigh. "Get some rest, Rikku. We'll reach the northern bank by tomorrow."
AN: Al Bhed translation: Dasbdnacc = Temptress