The sun had just come up over the mountain as Elizabeth was sitting down on her front steps. She had brought her journal with her and even though there was so much she wanted to write, she couldn't find the words. Instead, she held her tea cup in her hands and enjoyed the beautiful scenery and peaceful sounds of a summer Sunday morning. Hearing the snort of a horse, she looked down the lane and was surprised to see Newton tied up outside Nathan's house. Soon, Nathan was walking out the door, his saddlebags slung over his shoulder. He was far enough way that she couldn't see his expression, but watching him secure the bags, and check the cinch one more time, before mounting made her stomach drop. When he turned around, and saw her, he gave a small wave and headed towards her.
"Good morning," Elizabeth said as they came up to each other. "What's going on? Are you leaving?"
"Good morning to you, sweetheart." Nathan replied, giving her a quick kiss, while breathing in the smell of her and committing it to memory.
"I got a wire from the superintendent summoning me to Union City immediately, so I am heading to Buxton to meet up with some other Mounties and then taking the train from there." There was more, but he didn't want to worry her. "Allie says she is too old for a babysitter, but would you keep an eye on her for me, especially after yesterday?"
"Of course, but Nathan, what is this about? Is it dangerous?" Elizabeth couldn't help the sinking feeling in her stomach.
"Nothing to be worried about, just backing up the local Mounties." he assured her, adding his half grin to help convince her.
Elizabeth could tell there was something he wasn't telling her, and could feel the fear and anger building inside her. "Nathan," she said, taking a deep breath, "I understand there are things you can't talk about, and I respect that, but please, don't try to shield me from the truth. Jack would do the same thing to me. Maybe he thought that playing down the danger was helpful, but I can tell you it's not. I would much rather know the full truth, then be lied too."
"Elizabeth, I don't think Jack meant to lie to you." Nathan began, but was cut off by Elizabeth, her voice taking on an angry tone.
"He might have thought it was better for me to be ignorant than knowing the truth, but I can promise you, the exact opposite is true. Maybe there are wives out there that don't want to know, but Nathan, I am not one of them."
Nathan couldn't help the grin that formed on his face, which irritated Elizabeth even more.
"What is that grin for?" she asked, hands on hips.
"You called yourself my wife, and well, I kind of liked that." he answered.
"Only with you, can I have an intense discussion, and in the middle of it, laugh at something you say." She reached up and gently kissed him before leaning her head on his chest. She closed her eyes, trying to memorize the sound of his heart beating right in her ear. Here she felt safe. Here she felt whole.
Nathan loved kissing Elizabeth, there were no words that could describe how he felt, but his absolute favorite thing was when she would rest her head on his chest, while wrapping her arms around his waist. His body automatically responded by wrapping her in his arms and resting his chin on the top of her head. This was where he felt the most peace and love from her.
"I am not sure if that's a good or bad thing, but right now I am going to take it as a good thing." He told her before gently pushing her away, just enough to get caught in her eyes. A window opening a few houses away was enough to remind them where they were. "I am sorry, Elizabeth, and you are right. I guess since I've always tried to shield Allie from the full truth, I automatically did the same with you. I can't promise I won't do it again in the future, it's going to take some time getting used to having someone else care about me, I will try to tell you as much as I can."
"Thank you, Nathan." Elizabeth said, placing her head back on his chest. "Now, is there something else you'd like to tell me?"
"I will tell you as much as I can, and that really isn't all that much. The wire summoned me to Union City, saying I was needed in an ongoing investigation, and that was all. However, I have a good friend in Brookfield, who is also a Mountie and received the same instructions. When I talked to him, he told me there's been an increase in robberies and other suspicious activities that have the locals stumped. I guess the hope is, fresh eyes to find fresh leads."
"Thank you for telling me." Elizabeth said, making sure he could see the sincerity in her eyes. "You are an incredible Mountie, and have a lot to offer. Please just take care of yourself and come home?"
Nathan smiled, and gently pressed his lips to hers. Together, they got lost in their own little world, each trying to show the other what they felt. Finally, Nathan pulled away, "I am not sure how long I'll be but, I'll make sure either you or Bill know what's going on."
Elizabeth, "Thank you." she whispered. Before placing one last kiss on his lips and whispering "Be safe"
"Always" he whispered back to her. Too soon, he pulled away and headed back to his house where he went inside once more, and came out wearing his serge and hat. Swinging up on his horse, he looked back over his shoulder and tipped his hat to her. She smiled and waved as he left. Hugging herself, she picked up her tea cup and went back inside. The words for her journal were finally ready to be written
Nathan just left. He's been assigned to help with an investigation in Union City. And while I won't pretend to not be scared or worried, there is a peace within me that's helping make this less difficult. It's been a whirlwind of emotions and experiences the last few days. The most important one being that I've finally found my heart's true desire and couldn't be more happy or contented. Fate played a hand and finally Nathan and I were able to have time together, alone, and confess our true feelings. He loves me, and I love him. I am more than ready for this next step, and so grateful it will include him, Allie and Jack.
Nathan and Jack had a riding lesson yesterday, while Allie and I had a wonderful talk. She really is growing up to be an amazing young lady, and I can't wait to see what life has in store for her. I know she will meet each challenge head on and come out the winner, each time. It's because of her, that I have no doubts about Nathan being a father to Jack.
After breakfast at the Café, we played some baseball, but then Allie had a bad reaction to a bee sting, and we almost lost her. There have been a few terrifying moments in my life, and that experience was definitely one of them. Thankfully, Faith was able to help her and she is much better. My biggest fear has always been something taking my son away from me, but watching Allie struggle to breath, I realized that loosing Allie would be just like loosing Jack. My entire being shies away from the very thought.
We spent most of yesterday together, as a family, and in all honesty, I didn't want the day to end, but night always comes, but that also means another day will dawn as well. We had planned to spend today together as well, I really do love saying 'as a family', but Nathan was called away. He asked that I keep an eye on Allie, since she is still recovering, and I hope she will feel comfortable staying here with us. It's always nice to have someone else around who understands.
Jack will be disappointed his riding lessons with Mountie Nathan will stop, but we know Bill will be more than happy to step in.
"Mama." Jack called from the bottom of the stairs, startling Elizabeth out of her thoughts.
"Good Morning, Honey Bear." she said, going over to him. "Did you sleep well?"
"Yes, but I can't wait to have my riding lesson today. When do we go?"
Taking the little boy's hand and walking towards the sofa, Elizabeth began to explain, "Jack, Mountie Nathan had to go away for a while, so he won't be able to help with riding lessons, but I am sure Uncle Bill will be happy to give you more riding lessons."
"Is he coming back?" Jack asked, tears forming in his eyes.
"Yes, sweet boy. He is coming back."
"Where is he going?"
"He is going to help some other Mounties catch the bad guys." Elizabeth explained.
"Like when he was gone to help Buddy?"
"Exactly like that." Elizabeth said with a smile, trying to keep the tears from falling down her cheeks at the rush of emotions that were coursing through her. "Now, how about we go to Allie's house and invite her to breakfast this morning?"
"Alright!" Jack exclaimed as he jumped off the couch and headed towards the door. Looking back at his mom and grinned and said "Race ya!" before running out the door.
"Uncle Bill!" Jack called out, seeing one of his favorite Uncles down the street. Looking up at Elizabeth with begging eyes, he asked, "Can I go ask him, please, mama?"
"Sure, Honey Bear. Just watch out for…"
"Cars" she finished, but Jack was long gone by then. Shaking her head, Elizabeth looked over at Allie, who had come with them into town, "Maybe, our first lesson when school resumes will be street safety. Do you think it would do any good?" she asked, trying to keep a straight face.
"Well, you could try, but I have a feeling it might take more than one lesson." Allie told her with a grin.
As they got closer they could hear Jack, "… and Mountie Nathan went to help like he did with Buddy, so I can't ride Pal, but mama said maybe you would help."
"I'd love to Jackaroo, but I can't today. I have some business to attend to. How about tomorrow instead?"
With a sigh worthy of a grown up, Jack looked down and said, "Okay."
"Everything okay Bill?" Elizabeth asked, noticing the way Bill's eyes were darting around.
"What? Oh, everything is fine Elizabeth, I promise. How about dinner tonight?"
A little confused at his behavior, Elizabeth just nodded, "Sure, come over about 6?"
"I'll be there" Bill said with a smile and then headed the other way, towards his office.
"Well, that was a little weird." Allie said watching the judge quickly walk away.
"It was," Elizabeth agreed, then looking down at Jack she said, "How about instead of riding today, we visit Pal and Sergeant, and maybe give them some treats?"
"Sure," Jack said, sadly.
After spending some time with their horses, Elizabeth, Allie, and Jack walked back home. "Allie, you are welcome to join us for dinner tonight, if you'd like." Elizabeth said.
"Thanks Mrs. Thornton, I told Angela I would have dinner with her family tonight but maybe tomorrow?"
"Of course. But you know you are always welcome at our house, no matter what or why, right?" Elizabeth asked.
"I do, thanks, Mrs. Thornton." Allie said a little too quickly before saying goodbye and heading home.
"Allie is leaving too?" Jack asked, tears forming in his eyes.
"No sweetheart, Allie isn't leaving. She is just going to have dinner with the Canfield's tonight instead of us."
"But she's coming after, right?" his lower lip starting to quiver and the tears falling from his eyes.
They were passing the pond by this time, so Elizabeth took Jack's hand and led him to a bench where they could sit and look out over the water.
Putting her arm around his little shoulders and pulling him close, Elizabeth asked, "Honey Bear, what's wrong? Why are you so sad today?"
Jack, hiding his face in his mother's side, said, "No one wants to be with me."
Elizabeth was a little stunned to hear this. "What makes you think no one want you?"
Jack started sobbing, so Elizabeth wrapped her other arm around him and held him close. Soon the crying lessened, followed by hiccups. "Can we go home?" he asked in a small voice.
"Of course we can, sweetheart." Elizabeth said gently. Both stood up and walked back home.
Once they were inside, Jack silently went upstairs to his room. Hearing the door close, and then squeak his bed made when he got on it, she decided to let him have some time alone, and then go talk to him. Pulling out the chicken she'd prepared earlier, she arranged it in the pan, and placed it in the oven so it would be done in time for dinner.
"Mommy?" she heard a small voice call.
Looking up, she saw her son standing on the top stair, and smiled.
"Will you come stay with me, please?"
Wiping her hands on the towel, she followed her son to his room, and together they sat on his bed.
Deciding to let Jack talk on his own terms, she waited.
"Am I not good?" he finally asked.
"I am not sure what you mean, Jack, can you tell me a little more?"
"Daddy left, then Buddy left, then Mountie Nathan and Bill and now Allie. Do I make people go away?"
A little stunned at this line of thinking, Elizabeth took a moment to gather her thoughts, and sent a prayer to heaven that she would say the right words.
"No, sweetheart, you don't make people leave. Why do you think that?"
"Well yesterday, Mountie Nathan and Allie were around all the time, and it was fun. He called me Slugger because I hit the ball when he helped me. Then he isn't here anymore. Allie was here, but now she is gone too. Why?"
Understanding finally came to Elizabeth. With very few exceptions, there hadn't been a lot of change of the main people in Jack's life. Bill, Lee, and Rosemary had been there from the beginning, as had most of the town. Lucas entered the picture, and they had developed a close relationship, but then suddenly he was no longer around. They talked about why Lucas wasn't coming around, and thought Jack understood, but maybe he didn't. She still couldn't understand why Nathan and Allie, or even his father, would cause him to be sad.
"Oh Jack" she said, pulling him to her lap, "It's hard when things change, isn't it. Especially when that change happens really fast." Feeling him nod his head, she continued, "Like, when Buddy went to Capital City." He nodded again, "Honey Bear, Lucas, ah, Buddy, needed to leave Hope Valley so he could do his work, not because of you. In fact, he told me once how much he missed you, and that he always makes sure the picture of the purple castle, you drew and gave him, is always in his vest pocket. He says it's to keep you close to him."
"Really?" Jack asked, looking up at his mom.
"Really, and he told me that on his desk is a picture with you in it. He says it makes him smile every time he sees it. You see, sometimes people can't be with us all the time, but that doesn't mean they don't still love us, and want to be with us. It just means that for a short time, they have to be somewhere else, that's all."
"But what about Mountie Nathan, and Allie. We were with them all day, well almost all day, and now we aren't?"
"Jack, remember how we talked about what your daddy did, before he died. How his job was to protect people, and to help them when they needed it? Well Mountie Nathan has the same job, and while usually he does that job here in Hope Valley, sometimes Mounties from other towns need his help too, so he goes and helps them. It's hard though because sometimes they ask for help after we go to sleep, or even before we wake up, so we are surprised when we find out they are gone. But Jack, I promise Mountie Nathan will do everything he can to come back, because he likes helping you with Pal, and teaching you how to play baseball."
"We also have to remember, that we aren't the only people who love them, others do too and want to spend time with them. It doesn't mean they love us any less. It just means we get to share them with other people. Like today with Allie, just because she's not here, doesn't mean she loves you any less. It's not just our toys we need to share with others, but we need to share our friends with others, too."
Jack was quiet for a few minutes after she finished speaking. He seemed to be processing what she said, but wasn't sure how much he actually understood.
"So, just because people leave," he said, "doesn't mean they don't love us, they just have to do another things?"
"That's right," she assured him.
"And they will come back, when they can?"
"They will, in fact Mountie Nathan said he would tell Uncle Bill when he was coming home, so maybe we can have a welcome home party for him, what do you think?"
Jack's eyes grew big as he contemplated the idea. "That's a great idea. When will he be back?" he asked.
"Well, sometimes, when Mountie Nathan leaves to help other Mounties, he has to stay until they don't need him anymore. Sometimes he knows exactly when he will be home, and other times he doesn't."
"That's not very nice." Jack said with a frown.
Trying not to laugh, Elizabeth pulled him tightly to her and kissed the top of his head. "You're right about that."
"So, what do we do while we wait?"
"How about, before we go to bed each night that he is gone, we write down all the things we saw or did that day, so when he comes back, we can tell him everything he missed. Then it will be like he was there with us."
"I like that idea" he said, "except I don't write so good."
Fighting the automatic urge to correct his grammar, she smiled and said, "Sometimes pictures are just as good as words, Honey Bear."
Jack reached up and put his arms around her neck, and gave her a hug followed by a kiss on the cheek. "I love you, mama." he said.
"I love you too, my little man"
"Mama, I told you, I'm not little anymore," before breaking into giggles when his mom began kissing and tickling him.