The episode begins with Blitzo peeking out of a corner of a building to check if the coast was clear. He then immediately runs across to St. An's Hospital and starts climbing up the drain gutter downspout before he sneaks on the edge to a windowsill.
Blitzo: *low whisper* Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.
Blitzo opens a window and tries to get inside, but his head is having a hard time getting inside because his horns are blocking his entrance. He starts to make it through, but then he ends up falling in and rolls over.
Blitzo: Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, SHIT!
Blitzo crouches up and looks around for anyone who saw him. However, unbeknownst to him, a hand holding a taser shock device comes into the scene and painfully tases him right in the butthole below his tail, making Blitzo seize in shock with static electricity before falling head first to the ground with smoke fussing out of him.
Unknown Demon: Well, if it isn't the deadbeat.
Blitzo gets back up after his painful taze and brushes his sleeves.
Blitzo: *mockingly* Well, if it isn't Nurse Pussy Face.
The camera pans over to the source of the voice, one of the nurses in charge of the rehab facility, whose mouth is vertical.
Rehab Nurse: You ain't gettin' in here. *crosses her arms and scowls at him* How many times do I have to sodomize you with a taser before you take a hint?
Despite being tazed, Blitzo doesn't seem all hurt and brushes his coat.
Blitzo: As many as it takes to get me off. *turns back back to the nurse* Now, enough with this foreplay. Where's Barb?
Rehab Nurse: She checked out months ago, but that ain't none of your business.
Blitzo, surprised, comes over to the nurse, hands shrugging in confusion.
Blitzo: Wait, what? How? This is- wh-where the fuck did she go?
The nurse is skeptical of his intentions and brings up a taser to his face, making Blitzo so nervous and anxious that his tail straightens up and his arms down in fear.
Rehab Nurse: Yeah, like I'm gonna tell you, ass clown.
Blitzo regains his composure and stares down at the nurse.
Blitzo: You know, I kill people for a living, right, bitch?
Rehab Nurse: *nonchalantly* Oh, I'm SO FUCKIN' scared...
Blitzo realizes that the nurse isn't all afraid of him and sighs.
Blitzo: Ugh... Fine.
Blitzo walks back to the window to climb out of the room. Halfway through, the nurse calls back to him.
Rehab Nurse: Blitzo, she's got a job now, a life.
The scene changes back to the point of view of Blitzo trying to exit out through the window.
Rehab Nurse: Don't fuck it up by finding her.
Blitzo: Oh, that's nice. Why don't you take that advice and shove it right between your pussy *loses his grip and falls from the building* Liiiips!
Blitzo ends up crashing into the ground as a cat screeches in fright offscreen.
The scene changes to the office inside of the I.M.P Headquarters where Moxxie and Millie were talking to a sinner client while Lincoln was gently rocking the sleeping Minnie, Ronnie Anne was sitting on the couch, Lola was filing her nails, Lana was snoring on the other couch, and Lisa was working on a small device. Blitzo bursts open the door, now covered in bush leaves, bruises, and dirt all over his clothes and body, He walks past the group of them in a dejected manner. Moxxie calls out to him to get his attention.
Moxxie: Sir! There's a client here who wants to-
Blitzo does not hear Moxxie and interrupts him when he opens the door to his office and slams it shut loudly. Lana groggily wakes up and Minnie almost does too, but Lincoln keeps his baby sister asleep. Moxxie and Millie took a second to stare in confusion at Blitzo's foul mood today before turning back to the client, who appeared to be a sort of sea-creature with seaweed like hair and a glowing stomach just like Beelzebub's.
Millie: *nervous chuckle* I'm sorry, you were saying?
Demon Client: *hands shrugging in his confusion* Well, it's just that I'm sure one of the other camp counselors killed me, I'm just not sure which one...
Lola: *looks up, confused* How could you not know?
Demon Client: I was out on the lake when my boat *pointing down with both hands* started to sink. *twirls two fingers to gesture* Someone had drilled holes in it. *stops* The counselors are the only ones with keys to the boathouse, and besides my best friend Zach, they're the only ones who knew I couldn't swim. It had to be them.
Lisa: And how are you so sure your "best friend" was not the one responsi-
The client suddenly grows in size, becoming much lankier as his teeth sharpen and his eyes glow a bright blue. He aggressively gets in Lisa's face and snaps his jaws, making her stop her sentence.
Lisa: … I retract my statement. *the client returns to normal*
While Millie was delightfully smiling, Moxxie had a questionable look on his face about that work.
Moxxie: Hmm, *places a finger below his chin* we don't typically do investigations.
Lincoln: *hands Minnie to Ronnie Anne as he stands up* I'll go talk to Blitzo about it.
Lincoln walks over to the office door and opens it.
Lincoln: Hey, Blitzo?
Lincoln sees Blitzo flipping his contacts through his rotary address card file. Blitzo was so preoccupied that he doesn't look up to Lincoln as he flips through different address files on the rotary.
Blitzo: *peeved* Not now, Lincoln.
Lincoln: Blitzo, *jabs his thumb behind him* there's a client that needs us to investigate his death, and we don't usually-
Blitzo: *annoyed* No tiiiime!
Lincoln: *stares for a second* … Okayyyyy, I guess you want me to handle it then?
Blitzo: *still not looking up* Yeah, just fucking handle it yourself, Lincoln.
Lincoln: Alright, if you say so. *closes the office door, then faces everyone else* Yeah, he's fine with it.
Lana: *stands up and stretches as she yawns* About time… I've been needin' to stretch my legs…
Lincoln: *takes Minnie back from Ronnie Anne* Mom, Dad, we can handle this one. You two mind holding the fort down while Blitzo's doing… whatever bullshit he's doing today?
Millie: *takes Minnie, just as the baby Imp lets out an adorable yawn and wakes up* Of course, sweetie.
Moxxie: Sure thing, Lincoln.
Lincoln: *smiles* Thanks.
Ronnie Anne: *faces the client* Don't worry. We'll find the piece of shit that killed you and drag them down here if we have to.
Demon Client: *sighs out* Thanks for this.
Lincoln: By the way, um…
Demon Client: Chase.
Lincoln: Right, Chase. Do you happen to have a place to stay?
Chase: *shakes his head* No, I just manifested in Hell a few hours ago.
Lincoln: *hands him a paper card* You do now.
Chase looks at the card and sees it's addressed to the Hazbin Hotel, showing the address and phone number, which Lincoln got thanks to Lisa's expertise and some connections to higher demons.
Lincoln: Tell Charlie that Lincoln sent you. You'll know who she is really fast.
Chase: *nods* Thanks.
The scene comes back to Blitzo's office, and after so many fruitless searches, he is still searching for his sister. He checks Barbie's social media profile, where she has not made any effort to improve her profile.
Blitzo: Why the fuck wouldn't she tell you where she was going? *scene change to Blitzo* I mean, did you even ask-
Blitzo's phone started to vibrate, indicating another call.
Blitzo: Wait hold on, I'm getting another call... *answers a call* Hellooooooo? *pause* Oh, good! Did you find- *pause* Really, where? *pause* Thanks, and I promise if we ever get a contract on your children, we'll make it quick and painless, byyyye! *ends the call*
Blitzo puts his phone away and then starts running out of his office, unknowingly running past Lincoln and the other Zodiac Hounds with a small police investigation board on the wall with a few red strings attached. The board is showing the information they do have and what they're missing.
Lincoln: Alright, so we know that the killer is one of the counselors, that's for sure.
Lana: That's what he said. Only they have the keys to the boathouse where the client got in the boat.
Lisa: There has to be a motive. Some sort of reason they killed our client.
Ronnie Anne: Well, we damn sure aren't gonna figure it out just standing around the office.
Lincoln: You're right. Girls... *changes to his human form in a burst of orange aura* ... we're going undercover.
Loona: *off-screen* I'm going with.
The group looks and sees Loona standing with her arms crossed, with Vigilant Hound (Ruffette's weapon) on her hip.
Ronnie Anne: *surprised* Loona?
Loona: *briefly looks annoyed* Keep your smartass comments to yourself. *calms down* I want to help you guys.
Lana: *surprised* Uh… okay?
Lisa: *looks at Lincoln* Will this be fine?
Lola: To be fair, she also has been making an effort to better herself after what happened with Minnie.
Lincoln: *nods* Any help we can get is worth it. As rude as Loona can be, she's a damn strong fighter. *faces Loona* You're welcome to join, Loona.
Loona nods as she and Lincoln share a fist bump.
The scene moves to the summer camp called Camp Ivannakummore, where children and pre-teens can be seen laughing and playing in the background. Across the way, three preteen girls chat on a picnic bench. On another bench, a goth teen girl is seen writing in a journal. Pan to some bushes near the entrance as the group peeks out in their human disguises.
Lincoln: *looks around* Alright, I say we split into pairs and cover more ground. Ronnie, you come with me, Loona and Lisa go together, and the twins go together.
Everyone nods as they split into their pairs. Pan to the twins as they walk through the outside of the camp, when Lana notices something up head and points at it.
Lana: Hey, Lola!
The scene cuts to the cabins where an individual wearing a coat who's carrying a large sack over his back. He checks his surroundings to see if the coast was clear and then sneakily tiptoes to the bushes.
Lana: *voice-over* Check out that shady-lookin' fucker over there. I think that's our guy.
The scene cuts to Lola.
Lola: *rolls her eyes* Lana, I hardly think pointing out the first guy you see is the proper way to conduct a-
Lana picks up a pair of binoculars and looks right at the guy carrying the sack, obviously clear that the guy was the killer their client wanted dead. He looks behind him to notice that the sack was slipping, so he drops it to reveal stashes of cash, a couple of bags full of drugs, and syringe needles. He picks up the sack and then the binoculars show a drill in his hand.
Lana: *looks through binoculars* Nah, that's definitely him. That bag's full of money, drugs, and what looks like a drill one would use to poke holes in a boat.
The scene cuts back to Lola, looking a bit annoyed that her sister noticed the obvious observation.
Lola: But that's all circumstantial at best! We need to methodically eliminate all suspects until we can be sure.
The scene phases out to Lana looking annoyed that the suspect was obviously the killer before the scene cuts back through the binoculars to show a boat house. The suspect's pair of eyeballs were visible in the shadows, looking nervously around to see if anyone else spotted him before disappearing behind a door. Unbeknownst to Lana, a single red-eye was seen into the crack right before the scene cuts back to the twins, as Lana puts aside her binoculars.
Lana: Now, he's lookin' around and headed into that locked boathouse we heard about. That would be the perfect place to-
Lana notices how visibly annoyed Lola is after making her obvious statement. She reconsiders her thoughts and scoffs
Lana: *annoyed* Fine, Lola. You wanna lead between us? Go right the fuck ahead.
Lola smiles as she and Lana get up after Lana puts the binoculars away in her backpack. Lola comes forward and observes the scenery to find the perfect human to manipulate to get close to their suspect.
Lola: *confident* With my sleuthing skills and your killer eye, we should have this wrapped up in no time.
Lana: *mutters quietly* Could've done it in less than no time if you used your brain, but whatever.
Lola: Now, we just have to find the kids with the most influence.
She scans the camp horizon until she spots three pre-teen girls at a table talking to each other.
Lola: *grins* Target acquired.
Lola proceeds to head out to meet the girls. Before Lana can join her, a volleyball rolls over to her. She notices and approaches the ball before one of the campers calls to her.
Unnamed guy camper: *offscreen* Hey!
Lana looks over to see kids playing volleyball.
Unnamed girl camper: Hey!
Lana walks off to join them.
Over with Lincoln and Ronnie Anne, they were walking around the camp, looking around for any sign of their suspect.
Girl: *off-screen, emotionless voice* Can't say I expected to see you two here.
Lincoln and Ronnie Anne turn to the voice, seeing the goth girl writing in her journal on the bench. They look confused, not recognizing her. She closes the journal and looks up at the two, moving her hair so it's not covering her right eye anymore. She blinks, as her eyes then change to have white irises with dark gray sclera. This makes Lincoln and Ronnie Anne's own eyes widen in surprise.
Lincoln: *surprised* Lucy?!
Ronnie Anne: *surprised* What are you doing up here?
Lucy: *her eyes return to their disguised look as she returns her hair to normal* I sometimes come up here to get some peace and quiet from the chaos of Hell. Helps with my poetry. *gestures to her journal* I assume you two are here looking for a target?
Lincoln: Well, the problem is we don't know exactly who the target is.
Lucy: Ah, an investigation? I didn't think I.M.P. did those missions.
Lincoln: We never did until now, so this is new for us.
Lucy: Who was the victim?
Ronnie Anne: A counselor named Chase.
Lucy's one eye was seen widening in shock, as she seemed to know the victim.
Lucy: … Chase?
Lincoln: You know him?
Lucy stands up and lifts her hands as they surround in a black shadow-like substance, before dripping from her hands and forming a black shadow-like portal. Lincoln and Ronnie Anne were left startled to see this as Lucy gestures for them to follow, and she walks in. The stunned disguised Hellhounds follow her as the portal closes behind them.
Over at the picnic table with the three preteen girls, one girl is talking, one of them is chewing gum and watching something on her phone, and the other is listening to her friend's story.
Unnamed Girl A: So, he snorted a whole line of ground-up mints, and tried to convince us he was high. Can you even believe him?
Suddenly. Lola approaches, laughing and trying to fit in.
Lola: Ahahahaha! What a riot! Right?
The girls turn to Lola and look at her with annoyance.
Unnamed Girl A: Um, who the fuck are you?
Lola: Name's Lola, the prettiest girl at my school and pageant queen. *flips her hair, vain* It's hard to get more beautiful than this. Many try, but all fail.
Lola makes her way over to the picnic table and sits down.
Lola: So, you wanna be friends?
The girls stare at her, before laughing rudely, much to Lola's surprise.
Unnamed Girl C: Why would we be friends with a girl that takes part in pageants?!
Unnamed Girl A: What are you, 5?!
Unnamed Girl B: Get lost, you fucking freak!
Lola stands up, obviously hurt and turns to the girls.
Lola: But, I-eeeh...
The girls all stand up and point in the direction for her to leave. When they looked over to the volleyball court, they noticed a new person playing in the field. The scene cuts to Lana enjoying her time playing volleyball. In the girl's visions, they see Lana as a new badass girl on the block with sweat dripping down from her face and her hair swaying behind a bright color background with stars sparkling around her.
Unnamed Girl B: Oh, my god! WHO is THAT?!
The scene cuts back to the mean girls, all admiring Lana.
Unnamed Girl A: She's so fucking badass!
Lola, completely taken back and shocked by the girl's turn off from her and admiring Lana, comes into the scene in front of one of the girls, looks at her sister.
Lola: WHAAAAT?!
Cut to Loona as she and Lisa approach the boathouse that Lana and Lola had seen. They had noticed the same guy sneaking in from afar, and unlike Lola, had decided to investigate right away. Lisa pulls out a device and holds it to her ear, listening into the boathouse, but hears nothing. Peeking into the window, she looks confused to see it completely empty. No counselor, no boat, nothing.
Lisa: *confused* There's… nothing here.
Loona: *confused* The fuck...? I swear I saw him go in here!
Lisa approaches the door as her hand shifts back into her Hellhound paw, and she uses his claw to pick the lock. After a moment, the door unlocks and the two girls enter, looking around and truly seeing nothing inside. Despite this, they both feel a sense of uneasiness.
Loona: *narrows her eyes* I can't be the only one thinking something's wrong.
Lisa: *looking around slowly* No… Something is definitely off here.
Lana comes in close around as a camper passes the ball onto her.
Lana: *loudly* I GOT IT!
In one spectacular movement, Lana leaps up in the air with the sun shining down on Lana. With such joy in her eyes, Lana gives it all and smacks the ball so hard that a boom echoes in the air before it rockets right into one of the camper's faces. He was smacked in the face with a volleyball so hard that his skull was heard being crunched and broken, and his tooth was knocked out before he was slammed into the ground. The impact was so strong that dirt and dust spread to the volleyball field right when Lola and the mean girls came down to see what had happened. After the dust settled down, the camper who was hit seemed to be on the ground, dead or unconscious with a massive crater underneath him.
All the campers were totally shocked and even the Lifeguard Dude was completely taken back. He removes his sunglasses to see that the camper was on the ground and rushes over to check on him. The camper was unresponsive, and Lana looked nervous that she went too far.
Lifeguard Dude: That was...
He pauses before resuming with tears flowing from his eyes with pride.
Lifeguard Dude: The best spike I've ever seen...
The campers cheered for Lana and lifted her up on their shoulders. As the campers take Lana away, the camper who was hit in the face by Lana is revealed to be alive and reaches out to the Lifeguard Dude for help while he simply ignores him and wipes the tear away as he stands back up.
Unnamed camper: Please, I need medical attention.
Lifeguard Dude turns down to the kid with a scowl.
Lifeguard Dude: First Aid is for WINNERS!
While the campers take Lana away, the mean girls were looking at Lana with admiration in their eyes by her incredible athletic skills. Lola makes an attempt to impress them again.
Lola: Oh! Ya know, she's my sister.
Despite her attempts, the girls all glare down at Lola for her obnoxious attitude and stars walking out on him.
Unnamed Girl B: FUCK OFF, BRAT!
As the girls leave her, Lola feels depressed that she did not impress them to get on their good side.
The scene switches back to Blitzo entering one of the pharmaceutical stores where Barbie is supposedly to be working at. The pharmacist was looking at his phone, completely oblivious to Blitzo approaching his desk. The pharmacist notices Blitzo as he stops by the counter and brings up his phone to show the pharmacist the photo of his sister.
Blitzo: Hi, I'm lookin for one of your employees, her name is Barbie. Does she work here?
The pharmacist was confused about who Blitzo was or why he was here.
Pharmacist: Wait, what? Who are you?
Blitzo, now pissed, grabs the pharmacist by his collar and pulls him over the desk before slamming him hard against the wall. He growls out his frustration and slams him again to show he has no time for any more excuses.
Blitzo: Someone who's gonna get reeeal creative if you don't tell him what he wants!
Using his tail, he slaps the pharmacist repeatedly to leave bruises on his cheek.
Blitzo: Where is she, fucknut? *repeatedly slaps the pharmacist* I know you know! It only gets worse from here, asshole!
Blitzo slaps the pharmacist multiple times with each slap getting harder and more painful until the pharmacist gives up.
Pharmacist: Okay! Okay! She's out on a pickup!
Blitzo brings the pharmacist close to his face as he narrows his eyes at the frightened pharmacist.
Blitzo: Where?
Cut to a camphouse as Lucy, Lincoln and Ronnie Anne enter, arriving at a room where a teenage boy, about the same age as Lincoln and Ronnie Anne, was staring at his own investigation board. The boy had a slight tan, peach pink hair tied in a ponytail, and two different colored eyes. While he was wearing the camp counselor uniform, he also had a black beanie on.
Boy: *quietly mumbling to himself, looking a bit like he hasn't slept in a while* I don't understand. Chase wouldn't go anywhere without telling me. Where the hell could he have gone?
Lucy: Zach?
Zach: *glances back* Oh, hey Lucy. *faces the board again, putting his hands on the desk as he mumbles* I'm still stumped at Chase's disappearance. It's been a few days now, and-
Lucy: *as calm as can be, as if bracing herself for something* … I'm afraid he's dead.
Zach's eyes snap wide open as they turn blood red with black sclera, and a familiar radio static screech was heard as Zach's fingers sharpen into claws and tear into the desk with a loud scratch, while something seems to grow under his beanie. Lucy grimaces, while Lincoln and Ronnie Anne look surprised.
Zach: *looks back, voice sounding like an old radio* Say that again…?
Lucy: *nods* I was just told he was killed by one of the counselors…
Zach: *walks towards Lucy, fists clenching almost enough to draw blood* My best friend… is dead… and he was killed by one of these *voice distorts again* FUCKING COUNSELORS?!
Lincoln: *approaches Zach* Hey, hey, buddy. Breathe. Just calm down for a second. We're here to help get payback on the fucker that did it.
Ronnie Anne: Yeah, so just… drop the demon form, please.
Zach takes some deep breaths and calms down as his appearance returns to normal.
Zach: Sorry… I'm Zach Basilisk, by the way…
Lincoln: Lincoln, and this is one of my girlfriends, Ronnie Anne.
Ronnie Anne: Hey.
Zach: So, you two are Hellhounds like Lucy?
Lincoln and Ronnie Anne look surprised, facing Lucy as if expecting an answer.
Lucy: *returns to her Hellhound form* He's a Satanist.
They look at Zach as he reaches into his shirt and reveals a black pendant with a red Pentagram around his neck.
Zach: Come from a whole family of them.
Lincoln: *he and Ronnie Anne stare in silence, before returning to their Hellhound states* Well, that makes things easier.
Ronnie Anne: So, you and Chase were best friends?
Zach: *nods* We've known each other since we were infants, and often prayed to Lucifer together. Hell, he was even there when I made a deal with a demon that showed up when my family summoned him for a sacrifice.
Lincoln: And, I'm just going off on a limb here, but… did that demon wear a red suit, have black antlers, a wide grin, and a radio sounding voice?
Zach: *eyes light up* You know Alastor?
Lincoln: *deadpans* Just my fucking luck…
The scene changes back to the summer camps where Lana is running across the camp physical course. She appears to be having fun as she leaps over a large wall, and after landing down, she starts to tic-tac herself across the course. Once she reaches the end, Lana hops up and grabs the pull-up bar before she starts spinning. She was spinning so fast that Lana's wheel spin started to go in flames before Lana rockets herself in the air like a ball. Lana, now a flaming fireball, meteors down and impacts the unconscious camper she hit with a volleyball so hard that she buried him six feet under with a crater of his shape. The campers and counselors applauded Lana for such a spectacular performance. One of the campers had his phone out live streaming the whole thing.
Lana emerges head-first with her iris swelled in her pupils with stars gleaming bright shine. She was overjoyed with her increasing popularity.
Lana: Lola! Did you see? I broke the record on the course!
Unbeknownst to her, Lola was having a hard time and grimaced at the thought of Lana outshining her, but she gave her a very sheepish smile while Lana waves back at the crowd.
Lola: Mhmm. I saw.
Lana was so absorbed by her popularity that her eyes grew big and bright.
Lana: Can you believe this? Everyone LOVES me, they're cheering, *takes out her phone* they're even posted videos of me online. LOOK!
Lana shows Lola the social media story of her performance that she meteored out at the camper she accidentally injured. Hearts kept liking her story as it increased her popularity. Lola was aghast of how Lana was the only one who gets the likes while she only gets the scowl. Lana then starts singing "Regular Joe", in which the lyrics appear at the bottom of the screen.
Lana: Every day!
As I walk around camp!
All of these guys and girls!
Follow me around!
I don't know why
Or what could it be?
A random camp counselor comes up to Lana and then offers her some selfie with a crazed look in her eyes that had veins being seen, which creeps Lana out.
Random camp counselor: Hey, Lana! HAH! Will you take a selfie with me?!
Lana: Ah wa oh! I'm like a regular Joe.
Ah wa oh! I want the world to know.
Ah wa oh! I'm simple and plain.
Why do all these guys and girls
Keep screaming my name?
Campers: Lana! Lana! Lana! Lana, I love you!
Lana: I'm so ordinary.
Like a common dude.
But, they're all up in my DMs
Gotta say, it's kinda screwed.
I'm nothing special.
I'll tell you it's true.
The same creepy camp counselor stalker comes up on stage with a cake in her hand to Lana.
Random camp counselor: But, Lana! Over here! I baked a cake for you!
Lana: Ah wa oh! I'm like a regular Joe.
Ah wa oh! I want the world to know.
Ah wa oh! I'm simple and plain.
I wish all these guys and girls.
Would stop screaming my name.
Just like before, the screaming fanboys and fangirls of the camp were screaming out to Lana. She takes the time to take in the joy and happiness of being recognized by her peers. When the song ended, the scene switched to Lola, now being upset that not only has Lana been taking the glory, but they haven't solved the case of their killer despite the obvious reason to go after the one they assumed to spot earlier. Lanacomes behind the cabins with a bouquet.
Lana: Fuck, Lola! That was so fun! No wonder you sing in your pageants sometimes!
Unlike Lana, Lola was more annoyed that Lana isn't making any effort to solve their case.
Lola: Not exactly low profile...
Lana: I know... but, it's kinda nice having people cheer for me for once ya know? Instead of SCREAMING *rips the bouquet in half* in fucking PAIN and HORROR!
Lola approaches her twin.
Lola: Don't forget what we're here to do, Lana.
Lana: I haven't. I'm just waitin' until the others get back with what they found.
Loona: *off-screen* Wish I could say we have something, but I don't.
The twins look and see Loona and Lisa approaching.
Lisa: Whoever the target is, they are either doing a remarkable job at hiding their tracks, or someone is assisting them.
Loona: Either way, we're stumped. But we're gonna keep investigating the son of a bitch.
Lisa: Have you two had any success in investigating the other counselors?
Lola: *rolls her eyes* No, because they're too busy swooning over how popular someone is. *gives Lana a look, to which Lana rolls her eyes*
Loona: *groans* And how are Lincoln and Ronnie Anne doing?
Lincoln: *off-screen* Well, our investigation team's got two 1s.
They look and see Lincoln and Ronnie Anne approaching the group, with Lucy and Zach behind them.
Lana and Lola: *surprised* Lucy?
Lisa: *slightly surprised* What are you doing here?
Lucy: I sometimes come to Earth to escape the chaos of Hell.
Lana: Yeah, but how? I don't see an Asmodean Crystal.
Lucy: I used my Zodiac Element powers.
Lana, Lola and Lisa: … Your what?
Lucy: *holds up her hand as a shadow ball forms* My Zodiac Element powers. I have control over and the power to create shadows. *looks at the rest of the Zodiac Hellhounds around her* Have you guys not done the training?
Lincoln and Ronnie Anne: … What training?
Lucy: *disperses the shadow ball and pinches her nose with a sigh* Oh my Satan, you guys haven't done it. *sighs* We'll talk about this later.
Loona: *notices Zach* And who's this twink?
Zach: Yeah, hi. Zach, student of Alastor. *Loona's eyes widen* Yeah, that reaction's expected.
Lincoln: *points at Zach* We're gonna talk about this later.
Later in the night, Lana and Lola along with several campers sit near a campfire.
Lana: Ya'll wanna hear a song?!
Crowd: Yeeeah!
Lana: Alright! I know you all like me, but Lola is the real deal, bitches! Let her tell ya all about it! Mox!
Lola: Thank you.
Lola starts singing a terrible campfire song.
Lola: Oh, everybody look at me!
I'm the greatest
It's plain to see
That all you losers
Wish that you could
Beeeee liiike ME!
The campers were not impressed, but Lola kept going.
Lola: But, ya can't
Cause I'm a work of art
Yeah, I am hot shit
So pretty and smart
Oh, everybody take a look at me!
Look at me, me, me, Lola!
Me, me, me, Lola!
Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me
Me, me, me, me
Lola finds out that everyone is drawn to Lana's banjo playing, and when she finishes playing, the crowd cheers as Lola storms off in anger.
Cut to Lincoln, Zach, Ronnie Anne, Lucy and Lisa sitting on a rooftop of the camphouse.
Lincoln: So, how do you know Alastor?
Zach: Well, my family accidentally summoned him one day when we actually meant to summon Stolas… who I'm also guessing you've met?
Lincoln: Him, most of the Sins, Lucifer's daughter…
Zach: Right, figured. Anyway, Alastor apparently took an interest in my family after he met my aunt, who died a few years back and is enjoying her afterlife. I doubt you've met her, but her name is Ophelia, and she's a biker.
Ronnie Anne: *shakes her head* Never heard of her.
Lisa: Negative.
Lucy: Nope.
Lincoln: Nah.
Zach: Right. Anyway, Alastor was amazed by our colony of Satanists, and he made a deal with me.
Ronnie Anne: Let me guess, in exchange for some demonic power, you had to give up your soul?
Zach: *shakes his head* Actually, no. *Lincoln looks at him in confusion* One day out of the year, the Satanists and I have to provide Alastor with a living human to feast on. So we find the worst of the worst, usually a rapist, pedophile, or abusive parent, and then Alastor appears and is set for a month or two.
Lincoln: *mutters* That sounds less like Alastor than I expected.
Zach: And so, I have a small demon form and some of Alastor's power. *takes his beanie off* Watch this.
He enters his demon form as small black antlers grow out from under his hair.
Zach: It's not much, but it's enough to strangle the shithead who killed Chase.
Lincoln: *as Zach puts his beanie back on* You and Chase were pretty close, huh?
Zach: Best friends, doing basically everything together. So when I found out he was missing, I was concerned as fuck… but… hearing he's dead… *tightens his fist as it crackles with static, growls in a radio-like voice* … PISSES ME OFF!
Lucy: Easy, Zach. *pats Zach's back* Breathe.
Zach sighs and calms down again.
Lisa: Now, I don't mean to "change the subject", but can we resume talking about these "Zodiac Element powers" you mentioned?
Lucy: Ah, right. *holds her hand out as it forms a small ball of shadow* Zodiac Hounds are capable of using an elemental power that ties into who they are. The training is grueling and intense, but worth the payout.
Ronnie Anne: I assume you have the power of shadows because you're a goth?
Lucy: Sort of, yes.
Lincoln: Who else has done this training?
Lucy: As far as I know, only myself, Luan and Lynn. Luan has the element of wood, and Lynn has the element of earth and stone.
Cut to Lana approaching an outhouse and knocking.
Lana: Lola? You good?
Lola: *inside* Fuck off.
Lana: *rolls her eyes* You pissed everyone hated your song? I mean, you made it about yourself.
Lola: *inside* Let's just fucking go home… This mission was botched from the start…
Lana: *takes a deep breath and sighs* Hey, get out of there. It's dirty, and I know you hate getting dirty. We have all week to get this shit right.
Lola: *comes out of the outhouse* How?
Lana: Simple. While I'm distracting these guys, that gives you YOU less distractions for when you're investigating.
Lola considers this and realizes her sister is right.
Lola: Huh… hadn't thought of that.
Lana: *smirks and looks away* Guess we know which of us is the brains.
Lola socks Lana across the face in annoyance.
Lola: *as Lana laughs* Fuck you.
Lana punches her back. The scene switches to a montage of Lola doing various things to investigate the killer of the client, but not working with the others.
On Tuesday, Lola is seen climbing up a tree to get a better view of the camp. Lola brings up her binoculars to see the cabin, but as she is doing this, a volleyball hits her in the face which causes Lola to lose her balance. In short distance, Lana and the campers who were playing volleyball, as well as the others doing their own investigating, saw Lola falling off the tree. Zach's eyes change as he summons a shadow tendril from the ground that catches Lola by the ankle, much to her annoyance.
On Wednesday, while Lana and the campers are canoeing in the lake, Lola surfaces with goggles and a snorkel and slowly swims on over to the boat house. However, a freshwater demon shark suddenly surfaces and chomps Lola whole into its jaws before it starts viciously shaking Lola, before Loona quickly swims on-screen and tackles it off-screen, stabbing Vigilant Hound into its skull. As Lola falls back into the water, snarls and roars from Loona were heard as bones, organs and blood spewed from the right, a ribcage bonking an upset Lola on the head.
On Thursday, Lana is doing archery with the campers. She has one camper pose with an apple on top of his head while wearing a blindfold. She shoots the arrow and makes a bullseye on the apple. The other campers cheered while Lana peeks over. As for Lola, she was in the bush with her binoculars when an arrow with the apple Lana shot came over her head. She ducks and smiles that the arrow missed her. However, a giant bear with the arrow that had an apple pierced its left eye towers over the bush with an angry expression at Lola. She was petrified for a brief second before she was about to get mauled by the bear, until Lincoln's knife is flung over and stabs into the bear's neck, killing it.
After a painful week with no results, on Friday, a flier that had Lana's picture was handed over to her by the Lifeguard Dude and became excited. Lana runs over to Lola, who is now an outcast with him being kicked out. She was in a tent with graffiti text saying "Bitch" spray-painted on it. Lola emerges with vines painfully wrapped around her, her shoe missing, and is looking angrier by the day. She throws the binoculars down and tries to get the vine off her before a swarm of crows swoops in and attacks her, pecking her face before they dispersed. Lola sits down by her campfire that was burned out and stretches her feet, before Lana comes into the picture.
Lana: LOLA! You'll never believe it! They want me to perform on stage tonight for the local news! Those videos have made me some kind of human celebrity!
Lola has had enough of Lana overshadowing her and getting the attention, so she takes his frustration out on her over their incompetence of working on the job.
Lola: SHUT UP!
Lana nearly drops the flier, surprised by her sister's reaction.
Lola: All week it's been "Oh, look at Lana! Isn't SHE great?" "Oh, look how talented Lana is!" We have a job to do, and you're off dancing for views!
Lana has lost any form of shine and is now feeling disappointed and upset that her sister wasn't being happy for her.
Lola: I mean, this camp is full of the biggest fucking morons on the planet! Why does it matter SO MUCH how these dipshits feel about you?!
Lana's hair was now casting a shadow over her eyes as her fists began to clench, crumpling the flier in her hand.
Lola: On top of that, I've been getting the short end of the stick at every turn! Like this whole camp hates me, and-
Lana: *finally snaps as she shouts* NOW YOU KNOW HOW I FELT!
Lola staggers back in surprise, clearly not expecting her sister to snap like this.
Lana: *storms closer to Lola* You think it was easy for me to see you always getting that attention and glory?! All those trophies for pageants?! Yeah, I was proud of you, but part of me hated that you ALWAYS got that attention and praise! All you've done is bitch and whine about this shit, when we could've had this mission done and over with if you HAD FUCKING LISTENED TO ME IN THE BEGINNING!
The scene goes quiet as Lola is left frozen where she stood. Lana pants angrily and calms down a bit, tears starting to form in her eyes.
Lana: I had hoped that if the roles were reversed, YOU would be proud of me like I was to you. *turns away* CLEARLY that was too much to ask for…
Lana starts walking away.
Lola: *snaps out of it* H-Hey, Lana! *rushes to her and grabs her arm* Wait-
Lana turns and backhands Lola across the face, sending her crashing back into the tent. Lana stares at her sister in bitterness, before storming off again.
The episode switches back to Blitzo still searching for his sister. After a week of endless search, he has finally come to a demon imp who was told to be selling access to the human world and catches him by the throat. He shoves the dealer against the wall with a very angry face.
Demon Imp Dealer: It's here man, I swear!
Blitzo takes out his signature pistol from his back pocket and puts it under his chin to threaten the man into giving him what he wants.
Blitzo: Open it…
The dealer did what he was told and takes out an Asmodean Crystal, a crystal that has access to Earth. Blitzo was surprised that a thing existed in the black-market before the dealer activated it. He shoots a beam behind Blitzo and a crystal mirror portal opens up for Blitzo to gain access to the human world. He smiles at the sight of the portal.
Blitzo: Thanks, chump.
Blitzo throws the dealer into a nearby dumpster before he enters the portal to Earth. On the other side, Blitzo successfully lands into the human world, unaware that he had just landed in Camp Ivannakummore. He checks around before disappearing into the bushes. A stage was set up by the camp counselors to get Lana to perform live.
Backstage, Lana was looking at the crowd with anxiety. She turns around to meet the Lifeguard Dude once again.
Lifeguard Dude: You ready to go on, champ?
Lana: I guess…?
Lifeguard Dude: Good, now get out there and out Camp Ivannakummore on the Map!
As the crowd cheers grew louder, Lana was now feeling the mood. Her anxiety started to take a toll on her as she takes a deep breath, but just before she was about to go on stage, the stage lights turn off and then Lola's voice echoes in the microphone as smoke puffs around the stage and the hidden trap door opens on the floor with a spotlight shining on it.
Lola: Ladies and gentlemen! Boys and girls! Are you ready for a SHOOOOOW?!
The crowd does not like Lola being on the stage and boos at her, flipping her off, and looking at her with disgust.
Unnamed Girl C: GET THE FUCK OFF THE STA-
Lola pulls out a pistol and shoots her right between the eyes, killing her instantly and making the crowd freeze in freeze.
Lola: *glaring* Now if you'll all shut the fuck up… *puts her pistol away* I'm very proud to introduce the best fucking sister in the world. *peeks over to Lana, who was now being moved by Lola's appearance* The toughest bitch I know, someone who always stuck by my side, who I wish I had done the same for… *gestures to Lana as the spotlight shines on her* … LANA!
The crowd cheers as Lola comes to her and hands over the microphone to Lana.
Lana: *smiles* Thank you.
Lola: *smiles* Knock'em dead, sis
Lana: Speaking of...
Lana shrugs over her head to the other direction and Lola turns over to see that the target is moving along with a shadowy figure behind him, heading to the boat house. The rest of the group was chasing after them. She turns back to Lana.
Lola: You sure?
Lana nods to assure her to finish the job.
Lana: *whispers* Go get'em, Lols.
As Lana comes over to the front of the stage, Lola joins the group.
Loona: *notices* Look who's finally joining us.
Lola: Hey, guys… Is the target in there?
From there, they see the door to the boat house closing.
Lincoln: Yeah, and the fucker has help.
Lisa: It explains how they were able to hide for this long.
As she moves around the bush, Lola trips on something and falls forward. However, she did not hit the ground and instead she landed on Blitzo. That's when they realize each other and look at themselves before they come to realize how shocking a turn of events played for them.
Lola: *dismayed* What in the- SIR?!
Lincoln and Loona: *look down in shock* BLITZO?!
Blitzo: THE FUCK?! *shoves Lola off his head and turns around* What the fuck are you doing here?!
Loona: Trying to finish the job you gave us, dumbass!
Blitzo could not believe what Loona was saying and became not only disappointed, but also dismayed that everyone was still working on the case since it's already been a week.
Blitzo: Christ on a stick, you're still working on that? It's been like a fucking week!
Lincoln: Hey, the target's done a damn good job of hiding their tracks!
Ronnie Anne: Even our senses of smell are struggling, asshat!
Blitzo: *annoyed sigh, then calms down a bit* Alright, I guess that's fair... Come on.
He then exits the bush to get to the boat house. Everyone follows as Blitzo sneaks up to stand right next to the door.
Loona: And what exactly are you doing here, Blitzo?
Blitzo: Apparently, helping finish this botched job... But, mostly I'm looking for my sister.
Loona: *blinks* Your what?
Lisa: *blinks* You have a sister?
Blitzo then stands back and kicks the door open with a loud slam. He was completely appalled when he found out about the scene before him.
Blitzo: *angrily* BARBIE!
The camera pans over to switch to show no sexual encounter, but Blitzo's sister, in a human form with an human camp counselor dealer she was with. She had one pause moment before she realized who barged right into the boat house.
Barbie Wire: *disgusted* BLITZO!?
Lola: *peeks in with everyone else* You know her?!
Blitzo: Do I know her? That's my sister, stupid!
Upon hearing that the human form of Barbie Wire was Blitzo's sister, everyone else's faces grew into total shock.
Lana was standing there with a silent crowd waiting for her to make a move. She took a moment to close her eyes before opening them with a very smooth gaze, holding her chin, and a heart puffing out to show her glorious face. The crowd screams to give Lana an applause.
Back to the boat house, from a camera POV, Blitzo and the rest of I.M.P. were standing across one side of the house while Barbie and the camp counselor were on the left. Apparently, excluding the human camp counselor, Barbie doesn't seem to be fond of seeing Blitzo and the group in the boat house. She stared at them with narrowed eyes while Blitzo and the rest of I.M.P. were doing the same thing, but their arms crossed as if she's such a disappointment.
Barbie Wire: What the fuck are you *gesturing to her brother* doing here, shithead?
In return, Blitzo was also not fond of seeing his sister being in the human world and being with a human.
Blitzo: I should be asking you the same thing! You check yourself out of rehab, no call, no note, and I have to track you down to this shithole with- *confused* who the fuck is this?
The human counselor was waving at Blitzo before Barbie comes into the scene and shoves her hand on his face.
Barbie Wire: No one. He works for me, and who's your little band of freaks here?
Lincoln snarls viciously, ready to lunge at Barbie and rip her to shreds, but Blitzo does the same thing and shoves his hand in front of his face.
Blitzo: No one... They work for me.
Lola: Blitzo! *gestures to the human counselor* That dumbass is the target!
Blitzo realizes what a coincidence it must've been for the job since the human counselor is their client's target and was amused by it.
Blitzo: Oh shit, Barb! Looks like your little boy toy got himself into some trouble.
Barbie is confused about what Lola meant.
Barbie Wire: The fuck are you talking about?
Lisa: He was responsible for killing our client, and now our client has paid us to kill him in return.
Now that it makes all sense for Barbie, she turns to her human counselor with anger.
Barbie Wire: You fucking WHAT?!
Counselor Jimmy: *shrugs* He found out about your drugs.
Despite his honest answer, Barbie dismisses it and waves at him nonchalantly like she doesn't care.
Barbie: I don't want to fucking hear it, kid. *points at I.M.P* Look, you're not killing my supplier.
While the group looked incredibly annoyed by this whole family drama, Blitzo was more disappointed about this whole thing since her rehab. He was so frustrated that he pinched his eyes.
Blitzo: Oh, fuck... supplier of what? *points at Barbie* You're not back on that H-8 are you?
Barbie Wire: Fuck, no. It's just heroin.
Blitzo was relieved that the drug was only a minor for her and held his temple.
Blitzo: Oh. Thank, Satan.
Lincoln: ... How is that any better?
Back to Lana, she was giving the crowd one heck of a performance as she was juggling axes in her hands. She then throws the axes at the bullseye target which she hits two of them to the target, but the third one misses and flies over to the volleyball area and over the camper she crippled. The ax hits the tree which causes a beehive to shake before the hives snap from the tree and lands on the camper. He screams in pain and agony.
Meanwhile, back at the boat house, Blitzo was still arguing with Barbie while the rest were growing impatient with the drama between the two siblings.
Blitzo: So, now you're peddling heroin?
Everyone pulls out their weapons, already having enough of this whole drama and walks around the water to get to the target with Blitzo following behind, still arguing with Barbie. Barbie pushes the human counselor over to the heroin stash and walks around to get confrontational with I.M.P. before Blitzo came to the front to stop them from getting closer to each other.
Blitzo: What's the point? That shit barely gets rid of a headache.
Barbie Wire: It's honest work, okay? And I thought it would be sure to keep me as far away from you as possible.
Loona: *points Vigilant Hound at Jimmy* And you teamed up with dipshit here because…?
Barbie: Do you have any idea how easy teenage *jabs her thumb to the counselor behind her* humans are to manipulate?
Counselor Jimmy heard this and was offended.
Counselor Jimmy: Heeey! No, I'm not!
Barbie turns her head with sad gogo eyes and in a show of plea, she starts making sexual gestures to persuade him.
Barbie Wire: Oh, Jimmy-wimmy, can you pwease *lifts her butt to show the counselor her black panties* keep loading up deez *shakes her butt back and forth* druggie-wuggies for me?
Barbie places a finger on her chin to show the innocent look on her face so that the Counselor Jimmy could see that she was being polite and very beautifully sexy at the same time. While she uses her feminine charms to seduce the counselor, everyone else was completely deadpanned when they saw how Jimmy was so stupidly gullible to fall for that kind of trick, and he did.
Counselor Jimmy: Heh. Sure, Barb. Whatever you-
Jimmy suddenly coughs up blood as Zach, with his beanie discarded to show his grown out black antlers, glowing red eyes and sharp claws and teeth, drives his hand into Jimmy's stomach. Zach viciously rips out Jimmy's intestines and wraps it around Jimmy's neck like a noose, before throwing him across the room and pulling back on the intestines, snapping Jimmy's neck and paralyzing him. Zach then pulls harder with a surge of demonic energy, as Jimmy's head pops like a zit, killing Jimmy, and splattering blood all over the imps and Hellhounds. They were speechless that Jimmy died without I.M.P. even doing anything. Barbie Wire blinked a couple of times of what just happened.
Now covered in blood, Barbie was furious that, not only was her supplier killed, but she is now out of the work thanks to her brother and his team and yells in frustration.
Barbie Wire: *angrily* SATAN FUCKING DAMNIT!
Barbie turns to I.M.P. for ruining her work, while turning back into her Imp form.
Barbie Wire: Come on, Blitzo, haven't you fucked my life up enough already?! Thanks a lot, assholes, I'm out of a job! FUCK!
Now that she's become jobless and her day is ruined, Barbie turns around to leave. Blitzo, however, was guilty of ruining her second chance and stands up to apologize. Zach returns to his normal form as he sits down to catch his breath.
Blitzo: Barb, wait! *gets up* I want to help you- Let me help you, please? *hopeful* You're clean now, right? Let's... grab dinner, we'll catch up, and we'll talk about-
Barbie hears the last part of his sentence before she starts cracking up.
Barbie Wire: Hehahaha! *turns around* You don't fucking GET IT!
The camera comes close to show only Barbie and Blitzo. Barbie points at Blitzo while glaring at him.
Barbie Wire: Just cause I'm outta rehab doesn't mean I wanna see you! *jabs a finger on their mother's choker that Blitzo wears* I NEVER wanna see you, EVER!
Barbie was done with Blitzo and walks into a clearing part of the boat house where she taps her wrist containing the Asmodean Crystal to open a portal to Hell.
Barbie Wire: Next time you want to find me, Blitzo, DON'T! *enters the portal*
Loona: *grips Vigilant Hound with a growl* Oh no you don't!
She's about to run after her, but Blitzo's tail blocks her path.
Loona: Blitzo?! The fuck are you-?!
That's when Loona looks at Blitzo's face and is shocked to see her father looks... genuinely hurt by what Barbie said. And with that, Barbie leaves, closing the portal. Blitzo can only look on, depressed at Barbie being mad at him and telling him off.
Lincoln: *surprised and now concerned, he looks at Blitzo* Blitzo...? What was that all about...?
Meanwhile, after a spectacular performance, Lana was being praised by the campers. She looked on, eyes glowed with emotions now that she has performed and impressed the crowd just like her sister did. Lana makes a bow to the crowd and then walks through the curtains. She's instantly met with Lola, still covered in blood.
Lana: Looks like you did it.
Lola: Yeah… but so did you.
Lola hugs her twin.
Lola: I'm so proud of you, Lana.
Lola looks down, still guilty of her being jealous and acting furious at her sister.
Lola: And I'm sorry I let you down.
Lana grins and gets her sister in a headlock, surprising the pink wearing Hellhound.
Lana: Just don't do it again, bitch.
Lola stares for a second, before she and Lana smile and laugh, their sisterhood restored.
The scene cuts back to I.M.P. the next day. Blitzo can be seen turning off the TV. He was having his morning coffee as he was in the morning meeting with everyone, including Lucy, who had come back with the group.
Blitzo: Gonna be honest-
The scene switched to the rest of I.M.P. and Lucy were sitting at the table, ditching their human disguises. Minnie was drinking orange juice while Moxxie held her.
Blitzo: The mission could've gone better, but still, it was a good job.
Lana: Thanks, Blitzo.
Blitzo: *drinks his coffee, then sets his mug down* Now, I just have one question…
He suddenly looks annoyed and angry.
Blitzo: Why the FUCK *gestures to the other end of the table* is there a living human in the meeting room?!
Zoom out as everyone looks at the other end of the table, which cuts to show Zach sitting in the chair. Zach now wore a red t-shirt with black and white long sleeves underneath, black jeans, and red and gray sneakers along with his beanie. He gives a light smile and waves as the episode ends.