"The beginning is always today."

- Mary Shelley

Cloud led the way back to the inn, his hand clasped around Aerith's. Somewhere private would be best for this conversation.

Aerith remained quiet the whole way up to Cloud's bedroom. He released her hand once he had closed the door behind them and turned to face her.

There was always a moment of disbelief when he looked at her, the memory of holding her still form was still burned fresh on his mind. There was a pink flush lingering across her cheeks. She looked so wonderfully alive.

"So that was different." Aerith's voice was light, an attempt at breaking the silence that had settled over them. Her hands were clasped behind her back and she rocked back and forth on the balls of her feet slightly. Cloud knew it was a telltale sign that she was feeling nervous.

Cloud offered her a faint smile. "Sorry."

She shook her head vigorously. "I don't mind," and then she blushed a deeper shade of pink. "It was just surprising."

"There's a lot I need to talk to you about. It might sound strange, crazy even, but-" Cloud trailed off here, unsure how to even start.

Aerith took his hand this time, manoeuvring them to sit on his bed. "We've seen a lot of crazy things since we met, Cloud. You can tell me anything."

He raked a hand through his hair and nodded, deciding there was no good place to start other than to just be honest. "This isn't the first time I've been here, Aerith. I'm stuck in a waking nightmare. I wake up here, in this very room and I live the next month of our journey right up until the Forgotten City."

"Forgotten City?" Aerith eyed him curiously. "Like the Cetra legend?"

"Yes." A heavy sigh escaped him; he felt so tired. "You go there to pray, to try and stop Sephiroth destroying everything." He sucked in a deep breath and kept his eyes locked to hers. "You die, Aerith. Sephiroth kills you, and even when I stop his blade, it doesn't seem to matter. You always end up dead."

To Aerith's credit she didn't flinch away at his words. It was as though she was told of her demise every day. "A bad dream?"

"No. I wish it was. You die, I eventually fall asleep and then I wake up in Kalm again. It's like a cycle that I can't get out of. I always fail to save you Aerith, no matter how many chances I'm given." Cloud dropped his head into his hands. His fingers wound through his hair and the slight ache as he pulled at the strands was welcome. It made him feel grounded. "I've lived this over so many times now. I get to spend time with you, but I always have to say goodbye at the end."

Aerith remained quiet, watching the myriad of emotions within Cloud battle for dominance. He lifted his head slightly, catching her gaze and she was struck by how raw his expression was.

"I'm sick of goodbyes, Aerith. I don't blame you if you don't believe what I'm saying. It's all crazy and wrong, but I'm telling you what I know. I held you yesterday as you died, and you told me that every minute and every moment matters. I think you were trying to tell me to share this with you. That in all my other attempts, I've been waiting too long to tell you things."

Aerith was quiet for a while, and Cloud let her digest what he'd said. Eventually she slid her hand from the spot on the blanket between them and reached up to remove a hand from his head. Entwining his fingers with her own, she offered him a small smile. "I believe you. But I still don't think I understand, can you start from the beginning… the very beginning?"

So he had. He'd explained what had happened the first time they'd lived, and died, in order to stop Sephiroth and Meteorfall. He'd given her a run down of the year he'd lived through afterwards, without her, all the way up until the moment he'd woken in Kalm again.

He had explained that he had woken up in Kalm eight times at this point, and that there were months upon months worth of details to go in to. It was too much to delve in to then and there, so he had tried to stick to the main points.

Trying to explain the alternate universes had taken a while. He had reached behind her to untie the ribbon holding her braid, catching the empty materia that she kept within the fabric.

"Your memories and the white materia have faded since we fought the Whisper Harbinger. You get a new white materia from another world, and you don't even hesitate in laying your life down to use it. Even when I've told you that I know you're walking to your own end, I haven't been able to stop you from going."

He looked at her as she sat, brunette tresses tumbling over her shoulders, and couldn't help but to reach for her. His finger played with the strands of hair framing her face and he smiled bitterly.

"You're so brave and selfless, Aerith. And that makes me so angry, because I am selfish. I don't care if it puts the world in danger, I need to find a way to keep you safe. Whatever force has sent me back here obviously wants me to keep you with me, and I will do that. No matter what." His fingertips traced her face and he felt the flex of her jawbone as she swallowed; a reaction, he supposed, caused by his unabashed touch.

"I fell in love with you that very first time, and then you were gone. I've had so many second chances with you and I've loved you every time. So I'm listening to what you said - I am making every moment count."

Aerith didn't resist as his hand moved to the back of her neck and he pulled her in to kiss him. If she had followed what he was saying, he had spent roughly a year living through the same sequences of events. It had obviously changed him. From her perspective it seemed strange, it was like he had changed over night, but she could still see the Cloud that she had fallen for right in front of her. He was more forthcoming, but the heart was the same.

He pulled back, resting his forehead against her own. His eyes stared deeply into her how, beseeching her. "I love you, Aerith. Please, I need your help. Don't leave me again."

She lifted her own hands to his face, trying to smooth the lines of tension away. "I'm here, Cloud. We'll figure this out together."

Cloud's shoulders sagged slightly, just the act of telling her the small amount that he had so far felt cathartic and freeing. Oh he had shared a lot of things in the past, things he thought might keep her safe and stop her from heading in to danger, but telling her absolutely everything was new to him.

He'd always held back a little, always afraid that the others would think him insane when he told them that he was falling through time over and over again. He'd found that the group would follow his lead on most things, even without a full explanation of his reasoning, and so he had tended to keep quiet about some details. All of the minutiae, all the gory details had never really seemed important to share - he didn't see how they were going to help keep Aerith safe.

Telling her what he had, and so soon, did have an obvious and immediate benefit; Cloud felt the weight of the burden ease as he shared it with her.

His mako-infused eyes raked over her again, drinking her in.

She was pensive, no doubt trying to process everything that he'd told her. He felt a stab of guilt that while he had eased the strain on himself, she now had to live with the knowledge that there was a target painted on her back. There was still so much more he would have to lay at her feet, but for now he couldn't bring himself to do so, to add to her troubles.

"You know," her voice was quiet. "You didn't listen to me."

"Hm?"

She looked up at Cloud and smiled gently. "I told you not to fall in love with me, didn't I?"

Cloud was past any awkward posturing or blushing and he met her gaze with ease. "I think it was already too late by that point honestly." He reached up to tuck a stray lock of hair behind her ear. "You know I asked you, well a different you, why you had told me not to fall in love."

"What did she say?" If Aerith found it strange to refer to herself as a separate entity she didn't show it.

"You tell me." Cloud's fingers brushed her cheek and she sighed.

"Because I had an idea that things weren't going to end well for me." She smiled sadly at him. "I'd seen visions, had dreams, ever since I was a child. I couldn't really make sense of them to start with, but I worked out enough to get the general idea of what the planet had in store for me." She gripped Cloud's hand in hers. "At least I think that's right. I think my memories about those visions are gone now. It's like there's something on the tip of my tongue but I can't quite bring it out."

Cloud nodded, he had had this discussion with a different her. "The Whispers took your memories, well I suppose knowledge of future events would be a better way to put it."

"Do I get them back?" Her voice was curious and Cloud sighed heavily.

"You did in the end, even that first time around. I think that's why I could never stop you running off to pray for Holy, because you saw what you thought was supposed to happen."

Aerith worried her bottom lip between her teeth. "Guess I've gotten that knowledge back earlier this time, even if it's not directly."

Cloud's stomach gave an unpleasant twist. "It doesn't matter what that knowledge is, because that's not what is going to happen. Not this time."

Cloud supposed that it wasn't hard for Aerith to see that he didn't enjoy the topic of conversation and she slid closer to him, pressing herself in to his side tightly. "Sorry."

Bringing an arm up to lay across her shoulders, Cloud shook his head. "There's a lot more to explain, but I think it can wait for a little while."

"Okay."

The room was quiet for a while as they both grappled with their own thoughts. Cloud glanced down at Aerith. They often sat like this in past lives, her tucked under his arm, head resting on his chest, though never in Kalm. Never so early.

"Do I seem a lot different to you? Strange?"

Aerith hummed lightly and Cloud could see the apples of her cheeks rise as she smiled. "It's like you woke up in a very, very affectionate mood. But I've seen small moments of you like this. I knew that this Cloud was in there somewhere." She glanced up at him through her lashes. "I'm afraid you have me at a disadvantage, you must know a lot about me by now."

Cloud huffed out a soft laugh. "A fair amount. To make it fair I'll let you ask as many questions as you like this time."

Snuggling her cheek back against his chest, Aerith sighed softly. "Deal. But for now, this is nice."

Cloud tightened his grip and nodded. It was.

He supposed it was because he was so focused on Aerith, the feel of her warm and soft against him, that Cloud didn't notice the sound of footsteps outside until the bedroom door swung open. He looked up to see Barrett in the doorway, a look of surprise on the older man's face.

"Hey," he said lowly as he entered the room fully. "Hope I'm not interrupting anything?"

"Not at all!" Aerith's voice was cheerful and she made no effort to move from her position.

Cloud watched in quiet amusement as Barrett nodded and moved over to his pack next to his bed. He rifled through the contents for a moment before pulling out a wad of paper and straighted back up, heading towards the exit again while casting furtive glances towards the pair. He left the room, closing the door quietly behind him. Cloud silently counted to three and schooled his expression as the door swung open again and Barrett narrowed his eyes towards them.

"I'm sorry, but when did this happen?" He gestured towards them.

"Today." Cloud said simply.

Barret observed them for a moment longer before shrugging and turning to leave the room once more. "Well alright."

Cloud felt Aerith shake with suppressed laughter at Barret's reaction and he was glad that the knowledge of what had been, and what still loomed ahead of them, had not been enough to dim her naturally cheerful disposition. Perhaps sharing the truth of what he had experienced was not such a bad approach after all.

"I think," he began, staring at the door that had close behind Barret. "I owe the others an explanation too."