11 Paper Train

Róisín and Sirius' first date, and long talks and walks through London.

For all of Friday, Róisín and Sirius kept passing notes to each other in the office. It began in the morning - Róisín got in early, to catch up on some work, and when she spotted Sirius walk in the door, she felt her heart leap into her throat. She whipped back around to her work, not wanting to be caught staring at him, but also not resisting the temptation to glance up at him as he passed her desk. He shot her a warm smile and a wink, and she just gave a small wave in return. Not long after that, she sent a paper airplane his way with her response:

You're very welcome for the coffee. Actually it was mine, but you looked tired, so you owe me one! Also, I'd love to have dinner xx

About an hour later, Sirius sent back an enchanted paper car, holding the following message inside:

I knew it was yours dear, and I really appreciated it, I was exhausted as you could tell. I will definitely buy you one as a thank you too, let's call that our second date. What type of food is your favourite? xx

Róisín's stomach did summersaults all through her morning class that day, and she was barely able to focus on a word that Shacklebolt said about the content of the upcoming exams. As soon as she returned, she replied:

I could tell, and I hope you're feeling rested today. And I would adore some authentic Italian. Also why the enchanted car? xx

Sirius responded, with an enchanted paper boat:

At this point, I'm just showing off to impress you to be honest. I hope it's working. And yes I'm feeling so much better today. I know the perfect Italian spot to take you to xx

After lunch (which she barely ate a bite of), Róisín replied:

You don't need to show off your charm skills - you must know you're charming enough! Glad that you're feeling better. Can't wait for dinner and sorry for the awful pun xx

When her message arrived, she heard a bark laugh from Sirius' desk, quickly followed by a hush from an Auror nearby on the phone. She giggled softly to herself, delighted to have made him laugh out loud and to have cheered him up. He replied a while later, with an enchanted train:

Delightfully bad pun, I'm glad to see we share the same humour. I'll pick you up tomorrow at 6pm dear xxxx

She folded up the train and popped it into a desk drawer, which she locked, where she had kept all of his other notes.

Róisín couldn't get an ounce of work done the rest of Friday, and barely could read a page of her textbook on Saturday. Cynthia, of course, had screamed the house down when she heard about Sirius' date plans, and had been pestering Róisín all day with questions about where they were going, her outfit, her makeup, her perfume - Róisín had barely been able to string two coherent thoughts together all day.

"You'll just have to wear your little black dress, that one drove your exes mad when you wore it! Come on, you look gorgeous in it," Cynthia had insisted over lunch that afternoon. Róisín just pushed a single grain of rice around and around her plate.

"Look, my outfit is the least of my worries right now!" Róisín replied. "We haven't even gone out yet, and already I can't focus on my work, I'm getting all distracted. Ugh, what's happening to me?!"

"Relax, all of that will pass and then - trust me - you'll miss the butterflies once you get used to each other," Cynthia said, reaching across the table and rubbing Róisín's arm.

"What do we even talk about?" Róisín sighed, "We can't really talk about work, because that's confidential, and also a mood killer. We can't talk about the war for the same reasons. What am I meant to say to him?"

"You've been dreaming about this date for weeks! It's not about what you're meant to say - what do you want to say?" Cynthia asked.

"I... I want to know more about his life, his story. I want to know why he left home so young, why James' family took him in. I want to hear more about life at Hogwarts. I want to tell him about my life, explain how I got here, tell him about my sister, all of it - and I hope I don't scare him off!"

Cynthia smiled, "You won't, hun. I think that the two of you are more similar than you realise - you'll have lots to talk about."

Eventually, Cynthia convinced Róisín it was time to start getting ready and dressed, and Róisín spent what felt like forever humming and hawing between different outfits, before eventually picking a white and pink sundress, with white sandals, a black bag and her hair down. Just as she was coming down the stairs to the front door, at 6pm on the button, Sirius rang the doorbell.

Cynthia opened the door while Róisín hastily put her shoes on, and did a final check in the mirror before turning to Sirius, standing in their doorway. Cynthia whispered a goodbye and a Good luck! in Róisín's ear before scurrying away to her room.

For a long moment, Róisín just took Sirius in. He wore a burgundy waistcoat, a black tie and a white shirt, with pink details on the insides of the cuffs, which he wore flared outwards, along with pointy brown shoes and of course his pocket watch. Mismatched, and yet stylish, as ever.

"Hey, we match," Sirius said, pointing to the pink flowers on her sundress and the pink on his cuffs.

Róisín chuckled, "I guess that was lucky!"

Only then she spotted a bouquet of beautiful summer flowers in his hands, and she let out a small gasp. "Are they for me?" she asked, approaching him. Suddenly she felt very unstable on her feet, in delicate shoes she hadn't worn in Merlin knew how long.

"Well, they're not for me," Sirius smiled, and handed them to her. She breathed them in - dasies, baby's breath and delicate little roses - and the scent washed over her. She grabbed a vase from a corner table, topped it up with cold water from her wand, and put the flowers into the vase.

"They're beautiful - thank you so much, Sirius," she beamed at him, "I love them."

"Happy to hear it," Sirius smiled back. Then he held out his elbow, prompting her to wrap her arm around his, and asked, "Shall we?"

"Yes, I'm starving!" Róisín replied, following him outside and letting the door close behind her. "Where are we off to?"

"This adorable little pizzeria south of here. It's a wee bit of a walk, which I hope you won't mind, but I thought we could go through St James' Park, which is gorgeous at this time of day," Sirius replied, smiling down at her. Her arm wrapped around his, she could feel the nervous first date tension palpable in the air, noting the way his smile and his hands shook slightly. Was he really as nervous as she was?

"That sounds lovely," she replied, giving his arm a gentle squeeze. For a few moments, they walked in silence as they crossed the street and began down a quiet side road. It was a peaceful, warm day, the city bustling with the late rush hour traffic, everybody whirling around on their way home. She was grateful to be walking with him to their date, rather than meeting him there, given how well he knew London compared to her.

After another minute, she couldn't resist asking, "Everything alright with you? Only you seem a little... off."

"Oh, no, I'm fine!" Sirius laughed, "I'm sorry, I don't mean to be weird... it's only I'm nervous, you know, first date and all."

"You don't need to be nervous around me! If anyone should be a nervous wreck, it should be me," Róisín replied with a blush.

"Well, then, we'll be nervous wrecks together," Sirius said, with a warm smile. "Besides, what do you have to be nervous about anyway? It's just me."

"Well, I mean..." Róisín made a swooping gesture up and down Sirius. "You're... you! Surely you must know every girl in the class has a huge crush on you... I know I did since the first day we met-" Sirius raised his eyebrows comically high, and Róisín laughed awkwardly "-what I mean is that, I've been thinking about you for a while - I hope you don't find that too creepy - and... to be honest, after that night when we were practicing the trust falls, I thought that I'd blown my chance with you."

Sirius bopped his head, not quite nodding in agreement. "To be honest, I felt the same - not that I mean you'd blown your chance with me, because obviously you haven't, but that I'd blown my chance with you - when I... when I rejected you, and then we were avoiding each other for a few days afterwards, I was so afraid I'd never get another shot to tell you how I feel."

"Oh, my God, you didn't blow your chance at all! I just avoided you because - to be honest - I thought that you were with Amelia, and I felt guilty for wanting to steal someone else's man - and also, I thought it was against the rules."

Sirius sighed, "Yeah, I should clear the air about Amelia. We were never together, she honestly really annoys me-"

"Me too!" Róisín laughed, and Sirius chuckled.

"She just wouldn't leave me alone, always clinging to me on nights out, always trying to sit near me in class - so I tried to play it cool, but in the end I had to draw the line somewhere, and I'm sorry that it upset her. But trust me, there was never anything there, at least not on my end - so your conscious is clear," he said.

"That's good to know," Róisín said, and they walked on in silence for a few more moments, crossing another busy junction. When they reached the other side, she asked, "So what changed your mind?"

Sirius gave her a puzzled look. "What do you mean?"

"You thought you'd blown your shot with me - what changed?"

"Oh..." he smiled. "It was a couple of things. Well, firstly, when I saw you kissing that bartender - I'm not proud of it, but it made me jealous, and I realised how strong my feelings are for you..." he trailed off, a blush rising in his face.

"Go on," Róisín nudged him, secretly delighted and astounded that Cynthia's ridiculous idea had worked.

"Secondly, this one might sound weird, but it was something James said to me, that day when you joined us at our table for lunch at work. While you were talking to Moody, he whispered to me something along the lines of, 'Notice the way she looks at you? She likes you' or something. Up until that point, I thought that I had no chance with you, and that I was destined to pine over you forever - but James made me think twice, and then I began to notice little things that made me think maybe you did still like me."

"Like what?" Róisín asked, with a grin.

"Small things, like you always seemed to smile a little more at me than anyone else, like how you would always say 'good morning' and 'good evening' in the office, like how you would make me coffee - and that time a couple days ago when you gave me the coffee you'd made for yourself. I thought maybe I was reading into it too much - but I also thought it was at least worth a shot to ask you out - I mean, the worst you could say was no."

"Damn," Róisín replied, "I thought I had a better poker face than that!"

"I'm afraid not, my dear, and you'll have to improve on that for the exams!" Sirius teased. Róisín laughed at first, but it reminded her of another fundamental concern about any potential relationship: they worked together. Not only that, but he was her tutor. Maybe that was more of a second or third date conversation, she reasoned, and pushed it to the back of her mind.

"So... you have feelings for me," she said, trailing off.

"Is it so obvious?" Sirius chuckled, "My heart is still running at about a million beats per minute. Of course I have feelings for you - honestly, I liked you since we first met, but I seriously began to have feelings when we got to know each other better during our 1-1 training. Now, to be clear," he laughed, "I didn't offer that training to get close to you - I genuinely felt that it was my fault that you were injured - but it was a convenient excuse to get closer to you."

"Don't worry, I loved our 1-1 training and I definitely felt that we were becoming closer friends - and then of course I went and blew it by trying to kiss you!"

"I wanted to kiss you just as much, believe me," Sirius replied, glancing down briefly to meet her eyes, his gaze for a moment darting to her lips. "I just needed to clear the air with Amelia first - and to be honest... I needed to figure out what I wanted."

Róisín didn't reply immediately, and Sirius added, "But, look, let's leave all that for another night. For now, let's just have a date and see where it takes us, shall we?"

"I do have feelings, Sirius," Róisín said with a reassuring smile.

"Oh, thank Merlin," Sirius said, letting out an exaggerated sigh of relief, and Róisín laughed. He smiled down at her, holding her gaze for a moment longer. "Sorry - go on."

"I first realised I liked you more than just as a... friend, acquaintance, tutor - whatever we are - when I injured my foot, and you brought me all the way home, and settled me into my flat - and when you hung back to wait for me to wake up. That was definitely a turning point for me, and I saw you in a whole different way after that, and I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since then," Róisín confessed.

"Very good answer," Sirius replied, with a nod and a smile. For another few paces, they walked in comfortable silence, just drinking in the lively atmosphere of London, before Sirius asked, "Would it be okay... Can I hold your hand?"

Róisín beamed and him and nodded, and their hands met in a loose link, followed by a soft squeeze from Sirius. Róisín felt her stomach tie up in knots again. She looked down at his hand, noticing again the missing ring on his finger, and decided to ask him about it.

"You wear quite a few rings," she said. "Do any of them have any special meaning?"

Sirius briefly let go of her hand to splay both his hands out so she could see all of his rings. A Muggle mood ring, a small silver family crest ring, and another with the Gryffindor house crest.

"Well, that's just a regular mood ring," he began, twirling the ring around his bony finger. "Nothing special about that - I actually don't think it works anymore, I've had it for so long. I first bought it because it made my mother mad."

"How come?" Róisín asked.

"Oh, she hated everything to do with Muggles. She completely bought in to the Pureblood nonsenese and wanted absolutely nothing to do with Muggles or Muggleborns. My whole family was the same."

A flicker of sadness crossed his face, and Róisín decided to move on, not wanting to make him more sad. She moved on to the next ring. "What about this one? Is that your family crest?"

"No," Sirius chuckled, "this is actually the Potter family insignia. I stopped wearing my own family ring a while ago, but I suppose the tan line will always be there." He rubbed the finger with the missing ring. "Perhaps it was enchanted in some way because I stopped wearing it nearly 10 years ago, when I first moved out, but it still feels like yesterday I took it off. When James' family took me in, I became like a son to his parents, like a brother to him. One day, when we were getting ready to leave for Hogwarts for the start of a new term, his mother took me aside in the hallway and gave it to me. I'll never forget that she said that I was one of them now, that I should always consider myself at home in their house, and that I should wear this ring to remind myself of that..."

He trailed off, looking thoughtful, and Róisín took his hand back into hers. She smiled warmly at him, hoping he would continue.

"And the last ring, you probably know, is the Gryffindor house crest - that's pretty self-explanatory," Sirius added. "I absolutely adored being in Gryffindor - not least because it made my family furious, but also because I genuinely loved my time in Hogwarts so much, and that's where I met my closest friends... James, Lily, who you know, and Peter and Remus, who I must introduce you to." He stopped himself, and added, with an awkward smile, "I mean... if you want - I don't want to pressure you."

"That would be nice," Róisín replied, and Sirius looked relieved. She absolutely adored this shy side of him, so different from how he appeared when he was in front of the class. It made her heart melt to see him so nervous and fidgety. "I don't have any friends here apart from my own class - of course, they're my friends, but it would be nice to make some new friends here too."

Sirius paused a while before asking, "Do you think you'll stay here? I mean... is that why you want to make new friends?"

Róisín hesitated, not quite knowing how to answer. "Well, that's not the reason, no - I just enjoy making friends and I am also aware of the fact that, while I'm friendly with my classmates, I also tend to keep them at a healthy distance because I am competing with them, after all - for grades, and also for employment... I hope that doesn't sound too cynical!" she chuckled.

Sirius turned his head slowly, and replied, "I know what you're saying... and I hate to disagree with you, but it is a bit cynical to say that - I hope you don't mind me saying that."

"I don't mind - I know I tend to approach these things in a cutthroat sort of way," Róisín said. "My attitude is that life only gives you the things that you are willing to take... if that makes sense."

"It does," Sirius said, nodding slowly. By now, they had reached St James' Park, and as they passed through the gates, Sirius asked, "You never answered my original question - do you think you'll stay here in London?"

Róisín had been hoping he wouldn't ask that. She drew in a long breath, and answered slowly, "Honestly... I don't think so. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love London and it's a great place to live and work - but I don't think I could move here, and leave my family behind. Not with everything that's happening in Ireland right now, with all the conflict about the border. It's a Muggle conflict, but I know that the Irish Auror Office is still on high alert about it. I want to take what I've learned during my time here, and apply it back home."

Sirius nodded along, and a pained look crossed his eyes for a moment, but then it was gone and he smiled softly. "That's very honourable of you. I can't say that you won't be missed by us in the office, because of course you will, but you should do what's right for you."

"Thank you for saying that," Róisín said, and added, "I don't know if that's the answer you were hoping for, though?"

"It's not for me to say what you should do - and besides, with the war going on, it's almost impossible to plan for the future, or even to get too hopeful about a life after the war, if I'm perfectly honest with you. I'm just taking each day as it comes, and trying not to go too far down that rabbit hole," Sirius replied. "But, of course, I'll miss you."

Róisín was surprised by how open he was being, and it warmed her to hear that he would actually miss her.

"You would miss me?" she asked curiously.

Sirius blushed, and gently squeezed her hand. "I mean, not to get too sappy on the first date, but yeah, I would miss you. You're my friend, after all, and I would be sad to see you go - if that's what you decide."

"I will miss you too, you know, when I go home - if I go home," Róisín replied, smiling up at him, and he returned it warmly.

The rest of the evening absolutely flew by, so much quicker than Róisín expected, and she wished she could slow down time, savour every moment she had with this amazing man. The restaraunt that he had chosen was perfect - hidden down an adorable side street, adorned with fairy lights. He ordered a quattro formaggi and she had a Sicilian pizza. They were sat at a table near a window, thankfully not too close too any noisy tables.

"Do you want to get a side as well?" she had asked, scanning the menu. "Maybe a side salad? Coleslaw?"

"You don't need to eat healthy on my account - get the dough balls or garlic bread if you want!" Sirius laughed, and Róisín gave an exaggerated sigh of relief.

"Oh thank God - I'll take both!" she laughed.

He told her even more funny stories about his Hogwarts days - making her laugh so much that wine nearly went up her nose - and in between courses, he held her hand on the table, holding earnest eye contact while she told him about her life and upbringing, her whole life story.

"So when you said on the first day, about your sister, about how she was the reason why you wanted to become an Auror..." Sirius said.

"That was all true - I want to stop that happening to another family, if I can. I don't want any other little girl to have to see her sister die in front of her - at the hands of a soldier no less, who's meant to protect you." She paused, seeing the shock on Sirius' face, and backtracked - "I'm sorry, I don't want to get too, you know, deep too quickly-"

"No, oh my God, don't worry!" Sirius squeezed her hand. "I want to get to know you better - I mean, that's why I asked about your sister. You can tell me anything, no matter how upsetting. But equally, you know, don't feel pressured to."

"It's just difficult, you know? We were young, and we were just normal kids, playing in the street, and unfortunately she got caught in the crossfire between some soldiers and some rebels, and it was a total accident - but it changed me very deeply, and I've never been the same since. And that was when I decided I wanted to go into law enforcement - initially I wanted to become a police officer or a solider, but when I found out I was a witch - because both my parents are Muggles, so we had no idea until then - I knew that an Auror was the only career path for me."

Sirius smiled sympathetically at her: she was certain that he understood how much pain and suffering a war brings, and that he probably had his own stories, which she made a mental note to ask him about later.

It was dark by the time they left the restaurant, and the skies had opened up and cast a heavy rain shower over London - so they decided to get a taxi back to Róisín's apartment.

They approached her door, and she pulled Sirius in under the porch overhang to keep him dry. With a laugh, she brushed a few raindrops off his shoulders, and let her hand rest on his left shoulder. Sirius ran his hand through his long hair, shaking off a few more raindrops, and it fell in front of his face - Róisín absentmindedly tucked a few strands behind his ear, and softly brushed the backs of her fingers against his cheek. He reached up his hand too to cup her face gently, causing a sharp shiver to run down her spine. His hand lingered a few moments longer, and she took a small step closer to him, their chests nearly touching.

"I had an amazing time," Róisín said with a wide smile. "I hope you did too?"

"Oh, absolutely," Sirius replied, smiling even wider. "Would you, um... Like to do it again?"

"Well you do still owe me a coffee, so yes," Róisín beamed, "are you free tomorrow?"

"I am. Will we say 11:30? I'll come to get you," Sirius said.

"That suits me perfectly," Róisín replied, smiling sweetly. She gently leaned herself closer into him, moving her hand to the back of his neck.

"Is this okay?" she asked, lifting her hand.

"Oh, of course, of course," Sirius said reassuringly, and Róisín replaced her hand, beginning to gently stroke the small hairs on the back of his neck.

Sirius let his hands fall down to her waist, pulling their bodies together a tiny bit closer. Their faces were so close Róisín could see every little detail in his beautiful grey eyes, she could feel his breath on her cheeks, she could drink in every delicious curve and dip of his gorgeous lips. She felt her own lips part involuntarily, and time seemed to slow down as Sirius leaned in closer, softly brushing his nose against hers, and finally, gently, closing the distance between their lips and kissing her.

Róisín felt as if she might crumble into the ground and she wrapped both her arms around his shoulders, since her legs felt like they'd turned to jelly. His lips were so much softer than she could have imagined, and finally being able to kiss them felt incredible. Every kiss felt so intense, so electric, and they melted into each other, as if they had always been destined to find each other, in the rain, under this porch, having their first kiss.

When they finally parted, breathless, Sirius pressed his forehead against Róisín's, a wide smile on his face - Róisín went in for one final kiss, firm and assertive, wanting him to know how strongly she reciprocated. They parted both with wide smiles on their faces, followed by awkward chuckles, and Sirius whispering, "Merlin, you have no idea how much I've wanted to do that."

She met his grey eyes, blurry with how close their faces still were, their foreheads pressed together. "I know exactly how much, because I have wanted to kiss you for so long," she replied.