The Star Wars main theme begins to play as LionRoar74 slides down a firefighter pole onto the stage.
LionRoar: Welcome back to another episode of Questionnaire With The Star Wars Stars! Today's interviewee is the Hero With No Fear himself(formerly known as Darth Vader), Anakin Skywalker!
Audience: Yayyyy!
Anakin saunters out and sits down.
LionRoar: You ready, Anakin?
Anakin: As I'll ever be.
LionRoar: Glad to hear! The first question is from WookieeCookie!
What was it like wearing the suit?
Anakin: In short, a living hell. I was in constant discomfort due to my injuries, plus the fact that Palpatine purposely used sub-optimal tech to keep me in pain and restrained so I couldn't turn on him like he did to his own master. To add to that, he made it out of conductive metal so that he could punish me with his lightning. The prosthetic limbs were ill-fitting, plus all of the various parts keeping me alive were far from pleasant to deal with. And you have no idea how stuffy and claustrophobia-inducing that helmet was.
Not to mention that the surgical droids were not kind at all when doing maintenance on me. Although I did like how the voice and breathing sounds scared the poodoo out of people. That was the only positive side.
Shmi: My poor Ani…
Leia: Oh, Father…
LionRoar: Next up from Nerfherder18, and it's the million-credit question:
How do you even exist without a dad?
Anakin: Honestly, I'm not entirely sure. It was a strange anomaly. The other Jedi said that it was the midi-chlorians trying to cause balance in the Force, which is why my count is extremely high. Somehow my mother simply became pregnant, and, well, here I am.
Poe: That is… really weird.
Rey: How high is his count?
Obi-Wan: Over 20,000.
Ezra: (whistles) That's insane! He's loaded with them.
Ahsoka: Well, we always knew he was full of it…
Anakin: Hey!
LionRoar: Moving on, the next question is from MandoMania!
Why do you always fly like a maniac and crash ships?
Anakin: I've always loved flying since I was little. I'd always dream of going to far-off places and one day escaping slavery with my mother. Watto had me podracing when I was very young, and I loved the adrenaline it gave me. It made me feel free. I get that same feeling when I fly ships.
Rex: *coughs* adrenaline junkie *coughs*.
Han: I don't know how you didn't throw up in your helmet when you spun in your TIE fighter.
Anakin: I just have a strong stomach, though it did make me a bit dizzy. As for the crashing, a lot of it was due to the ships we used taking damage in battles and from enemy ships. Buzz droids especially caused some problems.
Ahsoka: There was definitely some pilot error, too.
Anakin: Not helping, Snips.
LionRoar: Roll the footage!
A montage is shown of some of Anakin's crashes.
Ahsoka(onscreen): How come every time you fly, we crash?
Anakin(onscreen): It's not my fault, it's the ship's!
Anakin(onscreen): I think we lost something.
Obi-Wan(onscreen): Not to worry. We're still flying half a ship.
Obi-Wan(onscreen): Another happy landing.
Audience: Laughs
Anakin: (mutters under his breath)
LionRoar: Next up are two questions from johnymike98!
Who is more annoying, C-3PO or Jar-Jar Binks?
LionRoar: Don't worry, neither of them can hear this.
Anakin: While Threepio can be a little annoying sometimes, especially when he gets caught in the crossfire of a battle or mission or what have you, Jar-Jar is way worse than he is. Yes, he's a good friend, but do you have any idea how much collateral damage he's caused with his clumsiness? Plus he stupidly gave Palpatine emergency powers which let him start the Clone Wars and manipulate everything and everyone, including me. Though he has had his good moments here and there, but rarely.
How did you feel discovering your kids were alive?
Anakin: I don't know if words can accurately describe it. I thought my child had died with Padme. Not a day went by where I didn't think of what could have been. I met Leia first, though I didn't know she was mine until later. She reminded me so much of my lost angel, and what I thought my little girl might've looked like, and I hated her for it. But she was so strong when faced with the interrogation droid. Her strength and defiance was like that of both of us. Honestly, I should've put the pieces together earlier.
I sensed Luke's force strength during the battle of Yavin, and was… shocked to my core when I was told his last name. I had a son. My child had lived. I hadn't killed Padme.
Zeb: Wait, if you knew then why'd you cut off his hand?
Anakin: I deeply regret that. I was still very much Darth Vader when that happened. But finding out about Luke caused what was left of the real me in him to stir, however only for brief moments here and there. Looking at his face made it clear he was definitely mine, and he carried my lightsaber to boot. Seeing him in anguish after telling him gave me the urge to pull him into my arms and wipe away his tears, but Vader squashed it and he fell down the tunnel. It scared me, but thankfully his friends picked him up.
When we met again on Endor, it hurt me inside when he said his father was truly dead. It was during our duel on the Death Star 2 that I found out Leia was his twin via reading his thoughts. Once again I was in shock but I also felt that it explained a lot. But I didn't have much time to process it as I was incapacitated and then Sidious started torturing Luke with his lightning.
Hearing him call out to me in pain hurt what was left of my heart and sent me into a protective rage. Sidious had already taken so much from me. I wouldn't let him kill my son. As I lay dying, I thought of both my children and asked Luke to tell Leia he was right about me. Even now I still feel guilty about what I've done to my wife and children. Maybe.. If things had gone differently we could've been together as a family.
Luke: Father.. We never knew. And we forgive you.
Luke and Leia hug Anakin, who cries tears of joy.
Audience: Awww!
LionRoar: Now it's time for cast questions! First up from AlphaSpectre!
When did you have time to learn the force ghost thing?
Anakin: Obi-Wan and Yoda taught me as I was becoming one with the Force. I have to admit watching my own funeral felt pretty odd.
LionRoar: Next up from KyloBen!
Why did you never come when I talked to your mask(sorry if that's creepy)?
Anakin: I tried to come and talk to you many times, but Snoke and Palpatine blocked me from being able to reach you. My guess to keep me from turning you back to the light.
Ben: (growls) I should have known.
LionRoar: Lastly from Obi1Kenobi!
Anakin… can you ever forgive me for what I did to you on Mustafar? I hurt you badly, and left you there to burn. I should've done something, anything to help you. But the Jedi taught that once one falls to the dark side they are lost forever, and I believed it. Not a day went by where I didn't feel guilty for not helping you or being there to help when everything happened. No one deserves to put up with the injuries you sustained. I'll admit I thought about putting you out of your misery… but I couldn't bear to kill my own brother, so instead I abandoned you on that shore. I'm so sorry, Anakin. For everything.
Anakin: Obi-Wan… I was angry at you for years for what you did to me. But you kept Luke safe for all those years and rescued and protected Leia when she was kidnapped by the Inquisitors. Thank you for that. I forgive you, master. That is if you can forgive me for killing you on the Death Star… and everything else I've done.
Obi-Wan: Of course, old friend. I forgive you too.
The two brothers embrace.
Audience: Awwww!
Poe: (cries) It's so beautiful! (blows nose)
Finn: (sniffles) I know!
Jannah: You guys…
LionRoar: That's all we've got for now! See you next time for Luke and Leia's interview!
Luke: Both of us?
LionRoar: Well, yeah. You're twins. You should have the chance to do something together for once since you've been separated most of your life.
Leia: That's fair.
Audience: Yaayyy!