Chapter 1: As Expected, Hikigaya Hachiman Reaps What He Sows

(fool_in_the_snow)

Youth is a lie. It's not only a lie, but a damn evil one. Not just to us humans, but to Pokemon too.

Let me explain why.

The whole concept of youth, the groundwork of its lie, can be explained in just one outdated phrase: YOLO. You only live once. The gist of the concept is that you won't be young again, so do whatever the hell you want before you can't anymore. Now that might sound good at first glance, and it certainly is very appetizing to the youth who adhere to its YOLO philosophy, but in practice, it just builds a society of hedonistic, self-absorbed brats who are willing to sacrifice others for the sake of their idealistic, selfish view of "youth". You commit a crime? Oh, it's just the follies of youth. You bully and ostracize a person simply because they are different? Well, it's just what youthful people do.

And this idea of youth brings me to the Pokemon League.

The Pokemon League is really a genius marketing concept. The best and strongest trainers have the opportunity to prove themselves to be the best trainer in the world! It's an enticing offer, especially to those seeking to "live out their youth".

But, those things are all lies.

You won't make it to the top of the Pokemon League, sorry to say. Unless you have the money or are able to roid out your Pokemon, you are not making it there. In short, the Pokemon League is a fraud. It's like every other professional sport, you can't make it unless you get jacked up on some steroids. Look at Barry Bonds or Usain Bolt. They are incredible athletes, that can not be denied, but they needed that extra juice in steroids to get to where they were at their peak. This is the same with Pokemon battling. Unless a Pokemon has a massive power difference or they are a genetic freak, most ordinary Pokemon have no chance against a roided out Pokemon used in the Pokemon League. They're built for competitive battling. And, sure, a lot of trainers are talented at commanding Pokemon, but you need money if you want to have a head start in competitive battling. You start to notice a lot of dynasties based on families if you look at some of the best battlers in the Pokemon League. I don't doubt that most of them had a lot of talent and skill, but they ultimately had a head start since their prestigious families had the money to help them build their skills at a very young age. There's nothing inherently wrong with it, but it only keeps the Pokemon League as an insular organization where movement to the top of its rungs is rare, to say the least. And, also, what's stopping them from sabotaging tournaments to make sure their preferred competitor wins? Nothing. They have the money to help rig it.

These kids who support the Pokemon League are also part of the problem. For one, they keep it intact by actively participating in it. Fun fact, the Pokemon League takes 15% of all profits from all official PokeMarts. And most of those customers are young trainers looking to make it big in the battling scene. Another way they add to the problem is by bringing people down. If you don't fight in a flashy or "cool" way, you become ostracized. You aren't a real battler. You're just a dirty cheater who doesn't subscribe to the real ethos of Pokemon battling. They're wrong, however. The goal of Pokemon battling is to win. There is nothing wrong with slow, defensive battles, just as there is nothing wrong with fast, flashy battles. As long as they follow the rules, what right do any of these people have to critique them? Battles aren't just for your entertainment. And of course, this ostracization is nothing more than "the spirit of youth" fulfilling its purpose of bringing people who don't subscribe to it down. The idea of "youth" is the grounds upon which all of these follies are built.

In conclusion, all riajuus should go explode.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

"Hikigaya Hachiman, you should be the one exploding."

I winced as I heard my essay slam onto the desk. That poor paper, what did it do to deserve this!?

Sensei looked back at me, "Hey, Hikigaya, what was the prompt of this paper again?"

"It was a paper reminiscing on our high school days, right?"

I could see Sensei's Hawlucha very menacingly stand up and move towards me.

"Correct, Hikigaya." Hiratsuka Shizuka, my homeroom and Classical Japanese teacher, was standing in front of me, slamming both me and my paper (literally). "If that was the prompt,

HOW THE HELL DID YOU WRITE THIS?"

Sensei stood up and slammed the table in front of me. She did it so suddenly that I also saw Kobashi, the Hawlucha standing behind Sensei jump a little.

I scrambled to find words. "Um, well, Sensei, I just wrote about my youth. I mean, it's pretty ordinary for a high school student, right?"

Sensei just gave me a dry stare. "Hikigaya, I asked for an essay, not a manifesto."

"Well, manifestos are just ideological essays, right?"

"Don't get smart with me, Hikigaya." Sensei then took out a cigarette and lit it.

"Um, Sensei, should you be smoking in front of a stu-"

"Shut up, it's my office."

There was a little silence afterward. Even though no words were spent, I could feel the amount of tension in the air. Sensei was lurched over her desk, cigarette in her mouth, and Hawlucha was standing behind her military-style, hands behind and everything. If anything, I felt more scared in this silence.

"Um…" I started, "Sensei, maybe these ideas are just new to you. I mean, for an older lady like-"

WOOOOOOSH

I felt two fists brush just past my face. In the blink of an eye, both Sensei and her Pokemon had their fists to the side of my head, inches away. Two or so inches closer, and I'd be dead.

"Next time, I won't miss."

Noted.

Sensei sighed. "So, Hikigaya. Any friends?" I shook my head. "Girlfriend?"

"Um… not currently?"

Sensei then looked through a pile of paperwork. "Looks like you don't have a club or a job. Hey,

Hikigaya, you're coming with me. We're going to fix that attitude of yours."

Scared of retribution, I just nodded and followed.

We walked for a while, stepping out of the main building and into a side building. This building housed a lot of arts clubs. There was the Art Club, the Literature Club, the Tea Ceremony Club, and other such clubs here. We walked for a while until we stood outside an unmarked classroom.

Sensei then slammed the door open and made me jump.

"Hey, Yukinoshita!"

There was a new voice. "Sensei, haven't I told you so many times to knock?" It was exasperated.

I looked inside and saw a girl. She had long, black hair with an ahoge on the top of her head and deep, blue eyes. If I had to describe her in one word, it would be beautiful. I didn't know her personally, but I heard of her. She was Yukinoshita Yukino, the Ice Queen. She is a top trainer among the second-year students, has the best grades in our grade level, is great at athletics, and is a fellow loner. In layman's terms, she was a person I would never talk to.

"Yukinoshita, I got a new member for your club!" Wait, what?

Sensei then grabbed me and very roughly pushed me into the room. "Yup, this is Hikigaya Hachiman, he will be joining your club."

"Hey, wait who decided I was joi-"

"Sensei, I will have to refuse." Yukinoshita cut me off. "I do not feel safe with his lecherous eyes, who knows what he'd do to me." Rude, also, why do you have to target my eyes? Why is it always my fish eyes?

Sensei laughed. "Relax Yukinoshita, he doesn't have the balls to touch you. He may look scary, but he's really only a petty thug"

Geez, thanks for calling me a thug.

"Plus, this is a request to you. Hikigaya here has a very flawed view of the world, and I want you to fix him." Wait, fix me?

Yukinoshita sat there, thinking for a while, and then nodded. "Ok, Sensei. If it's a request, I must accept."

"What about my feelings?"

"Ok, I'll leave you both in here!" And… I was ignored.

Hiratsuka-sensei quickly left and I was left in the room with Yukinoshita. I just stood there, shocked.

"Hey, Hikigaya-kun, right?" Yukinoshita called my name. "Take a seat."

I obliged and took a seat. I wasn't too close to her but I wasn't halfway across the room. There was a long silence.

Yukinoshita broke the silence. "Can you guess what type of club this is?"

I looked around the room. It was an empty classroom, not much in here besides a large table and stacks of chairs. There isn't much here so there can only be one answer!

"Is this a literature club?"

"No. How did you come to that conclusion?"

Damn, I was wrong.

"I thought that since there's basically nothing in here, the only club activity we could do here is read books. And you're reading a book right now so…"

Yukinoshita nodded. "I suppose it makes sense. However, this club is called the Service Club. Here, we help people solve their problems by themselves. 'Give a man a fish and you will feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will be fed for life.' And I, Yukinoshita Yukino shall help you become a productive member of society." She gave a small bow.

At that last statement, I felt my eyebrows twitch. "Fix me?" I started, "What if I don't want to be fixed?"

Yukinoshita then gave me a large glare that made me feel a bit colder. "I see… you don't think there's anything wrong with you."

"If it ain't broke don't fix it. That's what I say."

Yukinoshita sighed. "Hikigaya-kun, when was the last time you spoke to a girl?"

Damn… I had to think a little. Wait. "It doesn't matter. Do you have any friends, Yukinoshita?"

"Well… first define what a friend is-"

I cut her off. "I've heard it. Anyone who says that in response definitely has no friends. Source: me."

"...Well you're just running away." Changing the subject, I see?

"You know, some say that changing is a form of running away."

Yukinoshita glared even more intensely. Before she rebutted, the door suddenly slammed open.

"Hey, I'm back!"

"Sensei, knock!"

"Haha, sorry Yukinoshita." Sensei put her arm behind her head.

"So… how have you both gotten along?"

"We don't."

"This man thinks that there is nothing wrong with him."

Sensei just gave a hearty laugh.

"Well, as shounen tradition has it, whenever two people have a clash, it's customary that they have a battle to find out who's right!"

Seriously? This old la-.

WOOSH

I felt a pain in my stomach.

"Hikigaya, you weren't thinking anything rude, were you?" Sensei looked at me with an angry smile. She did it, she punched me! What the hell?

"No, Sensei, of course not." I groaned weakly, "I'd never think something bad about someone as nice and beautiful as you, Sensei…"

"Ha, a brat like you has no agency to flirt with me. I appreciate it, though." Sensei paused. "Well, anyways, both of you will have a competition!"

We looked at her incredulously again.

Sensei then continued. "The competition will be about who can solve the most cases the most! Whoever solves the most cases can give one order to the other person of whatever they want!"

Crazy woman! What is that competition?

"With all due respect Sensei, I refuse," Yukinoshita spoke up. "I worry for my chastity if that thing over there decides what he wants to do with me." She protectively put her arms around her chest.

Hey! Guys aren't only thinking about perverted stuff! We also think about stuff like… world peace? There's not much else I can think of. But, anyway, I wouldn't be attracted to that flat-as-a-board chest that the ice queen Yukinoshita has!

"Oh really? Is the great Yukinoshita Yukino scared of losing to this random student?" Sensei provoked Yukinsoshita. Oh, come on. That was such a trashy provocation. No way that would wor-

"Well, then I guess I have no choice to accept." What the hell? Are you secretly a battle freak, Yukinoshita?

Sensei chuckled. "Well, I guess that it's on."

"Wait, what about my feelings!?" I interjected.

"Yukinoshita, I can still see that you have your own reservations, so why don't we have a battle?" What the hell?

"Wait, Sensei, don't just go on and decide that I'm going to join AND have a battle with-"

"Fine. I'd like to see the look on his face as I crush him and his soul under my feet." What? Yuki-sadist? Where did this development come from?

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

And… I was dragged over to the battlegrounds and forced to fight Yukinoshita in a Pokemon battle…

This is bad.

For one, Yukinoshita is a top battler in Soubu. She's probably the best of the second-years. I have zero actual ranked battles. I just forfeit all the ones I have. I'm not really much of a battler, but it seems that I don't really have a say here…

Well, I'd still like to beat this stuck-up ice queen, though.

"Alright, this battle will be a two-on-two battle where the first trainer to lose all three of their Pokemon loses! This battle is ranked and will be on your record! I expect good sportsmanship from both sides! Send out your first Pokemon!"

I look right at Yukinoshita. "Hey, don't hold back."

Yukinoshita sneered back, "Of course not, winning is only fun when you dominate, of course."

I put a firm grip on my Pokeball and sent it out. My partner would be my first. "Go, Taichou!"

The ball opened and a burst of energy came out.

"Grawr!"

Taichou, my trusty Golisopod, was my first pick. He had a white shell with a purple face mask and skin and was huge. He was always my first pick, especially for first-time battles. His Bug/Water typing and his great bulk gave him great utility.

"Hm… I see." Yukinoshita then threw out her Pokeball. "Go, Shirayuki!"

The ball opened and out came a Ninetales. Except, this one was special. It came from the Alola region. Instead of a regular fire type, it was an Ice/Fairy type. How fitting for someone like Yukinoshita. Ninetales' ability Snow Warning then activated, making snow fall down all around the battlefield.

Sensei then gave a huge smile. "Battle, begin!"

As it began, I told Taichou my first command. "Hey, Taichou, give them a good First Impression, will ya?"

Immediately after I commanded him, Taichou disappeared.

"Huh? Where did he go?" Yukinoshita was confused.

Suddenly, Taichou appeared right above Ninetales and hit her so hard that she was slammed into the wall.

"Huh? Shirayuki!" Yukinoshita was shocked.

Of course, since it was a resisted move, Ninetales was fine. Ninetales stood back up and intensely stared at Taichou, who right after the attack, immediately retreated back to where he originally was.

It was a staredown for a while, both of us waiting for someone else to make a move. My strategy basically boiled down to punishing people's mistakes. If an opponent oversteps even a single step, I will take advantage of that.

"Shirayuki, use Ice Beam!" And, there's the move.

"Taichou, quickly step to the left, shoot forward, and Poison Jab."

Taichou did as I told him. The Ice Beam barely missed him and he immediately went forward and struck Ninetales with a brutal Poison Jab to the gut. The poison-type move did big damage to Ninetales, and it ended up knocking her out.

"Ninetales is unable to battle! Yukinoshita has two more Pokemon!"

Yukinoshita then grimaced, knowing that this battle was going downhill for her.

"Fine, then I guess I must send out my ace. Go, Fubuki!"

Yukinoshita threw her last Pokeball and sent out what was apparently her ace, a Froslass. It gave a battle cry when it went out. This Froslass was pure white with purple skin underneath, kind of like Taichou in a way.

I motioned for Taichou to hold his ground and to wait.

I didn't have to wait for long as Yukinoshita said her command. "Fubuki, use Blizzard."

Crap! Blizzard can never miss in snow! All I can hope for is for Taichou to hold out.

"Taichou, stand your ground!"

"Graaaaaaaaawr!" Taichou gave a loud cry as the Blizzard hit him. The Blizzard was unrelenting, hitting Taichou for a full ten seconds before letting out. When it all ended, Taichou was standing there, ice all around the armor-covered forearms he used to cover himself.

"Well, time for an Emergency Exit." As I said that, Taichou came back to his Pokeball and I sent out the Pokemon most in tune to deal with this Froslass.

"Go, Futon."

I brought out my second and last Pokemon, Futon the Snorlax. Futon was a large, bear-like creature that looked to be eternally sleeping. I found myself being quite in tune with him a lot of the time.

"Hmm, a Snorlax, huh?" Yukinoshita glared at Futon. "I see, well then, we shall crush you before you have the chance to attack. Fubuki, use Focus Blast!"

I see, Focus Blast is a Fighting-type move that is super effective on Futon, a Normal-type. If this hits him it would be very bad.

"Futon, roll over."

Luckily for me, it's not very accurate. Futon rolled over and easily dodged the Focus Blast, leaving Froslass wide open.

"Use Crunch!" After I said my command, Futon stood up and ran towards Froslass at breakneck speeds.

"Huh? Fubuki, dodge it!" Too late. Before Froslass could get out of the way, Futon landed a critical hit Crunch onto it, knocking it out in one shot. For all their raw power, Froslass were pretty frail. This really helped me this fight as both of Yukinoshita's Pokemon were clearly glass cannons.

"And Hikigaya Hachiman wins! Now, both of you shake hands." Thank you for affirming my win, Sensei. Now to rub it in Yukinoshita's face!

Yukinoshita could only stand there in disbelief. I could tell that she's barely lost before. It must suck to lose to a random. Not that she even was weak, though. She was just unprepared. Even though all her Pokemon were glass cannons, they were still cannons. They were Pokemon capable of doing huge damage to their opponents before they could strike back. Unluckily for her, my playstyle capitalizes on these hyper-offensive ones. The best offense is a good defense, I always say!

I walked forward, intending to shake her hand good games (and flex in front of her). "Hey, Yukinoshita, good match." I walked towards her with a smirk, knowing that I'd just demolished her pride.

To her credit and my surprise, Yukinoshita simply walked forward and shook my hand. "Good match Hikigaya-kun. You were very strong." She simply left it at that and I nodded.

I went back to get my bag and checked my phone.

5:30

IT'S 5:30 ALREADY?

Damn, I have to go or else Komachi will be sad!

"Oh, excuse me, I must leave," I told Sensei before quickly scrambling for the door.

However, I wouldn't get far as Sensei had a firm grip on my shoulder.

"Hikigaya, you better come back tomorrow. You know what happens if you don't, right? After all, you still have your rehabilitation~."

Son of a-

TRAINER HIGHLIGHTS!

HIKIGAYA HACHIMAN

YEAR: 2

BATTLE RANKINGS: N/A

RECORD: 1-0-8

POKEMON

TAICHOU (GOLISOPOD)

FUTON (SNORLAX)

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Hi. Don't expect this to get updated. Y'all can take it if you want. Just credit me. Listen to Yankee Hotel Foxtrot by Wilco.