It was Christmas night, but the warmth and cheer felt distant, like a memory slipping through his fingers. The Doctor had just declined Christmas dinner with Donna, knowing he couldn't bear the company, the laughter, and the joy he wouldn't be able to feel. He longed instead for the Powell Estate, for a Christmas spent with Rose. The thought of enduring a Christmas dinner without her was unbearable.
Moving like a ghost, the Doctor wandered into the TARDIS library. He wasn't even sure why he had come here. His mind was distant, foggy, as if he were sleepwalking through the moment. His eyes fell on the small tree Rose had lovingly decorated. Beneath it lay two presents.
One was a gift he had carefully chosen for Rose, wrapped with the hope of seeing her smile. The thought of touching it now made him sick with grief. The other was Rose's gift to him. They were supposed to open these together, just the two of them, before heading over to Jackie's for the rest of the day.
His chest tightened as his eyes welled up with tears, but he forced himself to reach out and pick up the present. For what felt like an eternity, he just held it, the weight of the moment pressing down on him. Finally, with trembling hands, he began to tear the paper away.
Inside was a shoebox with the Converse logo emblazoned on it. He lifted the lid to reveal a beautiful pair of bright red trainers. Tucked inside one of the shoes was a note in Rose's familiar handwriting: "Red shoes to match the two red bicycles you've gotten me."
He had given her a new adult-sized red cruiser bike, his original Christmas gift to her that he ended up having to give her early. Now, he was glad he had. It was a blessing in disguise.
As he stared down at the vibrant red shoes, a wave of overwhelming grief crashed over him. He curled up into a tight ball on the floor, clutching the shoes to his chest. His breath hitched, and his body shook with the force of his sobs. The tears came fast and uncontrollable, as if the floodgates had finally broken. He buried his face against the shoes, it smelled primarily of new rubber and fabric but he could also smell Rose's own scent intermingled. The Doctor sobbed until the pain in his chest was too much to bear, until there was nothing left but the hollow ache of loss.
At some point, the Doctor stood up with his new shoes in hand. He headed to the TARDIS wardrobe and tried to find a new outfit to match the shoes. He don't change much, just exchanging his brown pinstripe suit for a blue one. He felt the blue complimented his new red shoes better than the old brown one. The brown one may have matched his hair, but it was more important to him now that he wore something that enhanced his new trainers.
The Doctor stood in front of a mirror, just as had done last Christmas. Only this year he wouldn't be able to show Rose his new look.
Last Christmas, he had felt a rush of excitement and nervousness as he straightened his new suit, ready to step out and see Rose again. The relief and joy when she smiled at him, still seeing him as the Doctor despite the change, had been overwhelming. But this year, the mirror reflected only the painful reminder that there would be no warm smile waiting for him. The emptiness where Rose's presence should have been cut deeper than he ever imagined.
He would always cherish these shoes. Wearing them for now, but never letting them become too tattered.
At least whenever he wore them, he could look down at his feet and remember that he had earned the love of Rose Tyler. His Rose Tyler.