One-Shot: Kiss You Better
Monica opened the door to Apartment 20 with a giddy smile on her face. She actually spun about in a circle through the same, fluid motion of closing the door. Her head and her heart had been spinning ever since Dr. Richard Burke kissed her, alone in his examination room.
…. and then later in his office.
It was so dizzying: here was a man who was handsome, and…. passionate. Suave. And very, very sexy. He was far more mature than most of the guys Monica had dated. He was…. the perfect package, really.
That was the thing that stuck out most to Monica: that Richard was mature. Less enlightened individuals would use a different word in place of that, but to Monica's mind, mature was just exactly what she was looking for in her search for a serious relationship. Richard had experience. He'd even been married once before himself, now since divorced.
…. Sure, as a little girl she had only ever known him as "Dr. Burke," her dad's family friend. But that's what made this new rush of joy all the more romantic, in a way. To see a man she had known since she was practically in diapers in a new light. To know that he saw her, not just as Jack Geller's little girl all grown up, but as a woman. Her own woman. And that he, Richard, desired her as a woman.
Plus, there had been something so…. furtive and adrenaline rushing, about how they had embraced and kissed like that. How it had escalated into a hot and heavy make-out session, in the middle of something that should have been so innocuous. It was practically straight out of a soap opera - the better ones, anyway – where the woman falls in love with her doctor. My ophthalmologist and me. Kissing Richard had also felt like…. tasting the forbidden. The thrill of the chase of pursuing an older man… and knowing that he wanted to be pursued, and pursue you just as ardently.
Monica knew there were others who would frown upon a relationship like this, if they knew. The girls wouldn't care – they would squeal and buzz and chitter for details. Knowing the history she and Richard shared and how the tenor of their relationship had shifted…. It just made the romance all the more swoon-worthy.
And if anyone did have any objections about it (she had no idea how she was going to tell her brother, let alone her parents, that she was suddenly seeing an old friend of the family), Monica didn't care. She didn't even care that Richard was technically her catering client – with how informal catering could be, at least when hosting a party in some circles, there was little line between the professional and the personal anyway.
"…. OK, you've been standing there for the past three minutes staring into space and grinning like you took a hit from Ross's marijuana. Care to explain what's up?"
Monica blinked, shaken out of her reverie. She hadn't even noticed that Chandler was there, in her living room, and giving her a funny look.
"Hello, person who does not live here…." she frowned in bemusement.
Chandler shrugged and jerked a thumb back towards the refrigerator. "I was just rummaging through your fridge to see what you have. Joey's gonna be back from his audition in a couple of hours, and he kind of intimated to me that he expects to be fed when he gets back."
Monica let out a scoffing laugh. "So, you're his Stepford Wife now?"
Chandler jerked, his eyes bugging out of his head, annoyed at the insinuation. "Hey, we're roommates! It's not like we're married!"
Monica snorted. "The way that you two carry on? If anyone asks, I just say you guys are the happiest gay couple I know…."
"Except I'm not gay!" Chandler shouted, snapping at her and jumping up and down a little in frustration. "I'm not! Why do you guys keep saying that?"
"Mostly cause it makes Phoebe giggle." At Chandler's glowering look, Monica just clucked her tongue. "Oh, come on, Chandler! Are you still that bothered that she wondered if maybe you were? Back when she first met you?"
"Pheebs never knows when a joke's stopped being funny anymore…." Chandler mumbled, scowling petulantly.
Now Monica positively hooted. "Oh, you're one to talk! So is Joey, for that matter…"
Chandler glanced away, grumbling darkly. He exhaled deep through his nose as Monica pranced around to reach the fridge; keeping her face turned away was all she could do to hide her blush.
"So, how did the eye doctor appointment go?"
Monica shut the fridge door. "It was an ophthalmology appointment," she corrected him loftily.
"Ooooh, la di da….!" Chandler threw his voice while scrunching his face up mockingly. "How did the ophthalmology appointment go, then?..."
"It went…." Monica felt her face break into a beaming smile unbidden, and she fought to wrestle it down, clearing her throat. "It – it went great. You and Joey should get on his client roster. Richard's an excellent doctor."
"I already get vision and dental through my company," Chandler dismissed, lips pursed as he leafed through a magazine Rachel had left open earlier on the kitchen table. "And Joey doesn't have health insurance; his guild doesn't offer it."
Monica's jaw dropped. "What?! As an actor? On what little he's paid?" She shook her head. "Well, I'll fix that. I'll give him to Richard on a recommendation, and…."
"Richard?" Chandler glanced up. "You call your own eye doctor by his first name?"
Monica turned a deep shade of pink…. and she felt her heart oddly drop into her stomach upon realizing how Chandler noticed.
"Mon, what happened?" Chandler circled the table. His eyes narrowed.
Monica attempted to fight off a smile, even as she twisted away a little, twittering. "Nothing! Nothing happened…. Richard brought me back to the exam room; he checked me out, and…."
"Monica:" The hard edge to Chandler's voice oddly sent goosebumps up her flesh, and she nervously lifted her head to look him in the face. "Checked you out how? Checked you out as in ' Oh, your eyes look good' or checked you out as in…." And his gaze made a blatant, appraising sweep of her figure. "Whoa, you're easy on the eyes…."
Monica winced. "…. Both?..."
Chandler gawked. "So, what: he was flirting with you? A patient? In his office?"
Monica bit her lip around her weak smile. "…. It, um…. was more than flirting…."
"Define more."
Monica's cringe deepened. Honestly, she didn't know why she was feeling this way. This shame, of telling her best friend. But, it was Chandler! Something about getting cornered into divulging this secret to him was almost as bad as if she was… telling Ross. Joey would be…. Joey about it, when he learned, wanting all the details (largely involving what she'd done) and all while wolfing down a bowl of popcorn. Because apparently popcorn was required for Joey to watch (or hear about) porn properly.
"… We kissed. And then, we went back to his office and we…." She grimaced, even against her own instinct to burst out into a beaming smile of happiness and swoon. "… We had sex." She sighed. "God, it was the best I've ever had….!"
Chandler stared. "It also was surely the most unethical sex you've ever had! Monica!" And he shook his head at her chidingly. "I can't believe you!"
"What?" Monica frowned at her best friend, bemused. "You weren't there! We had…. tension. Richard was…. he was passionate, and…." She got a goofy, idiotic grin on her face.
Chandler pursed his lips tightly. "So, explain to me how an ophthalmology appointment would require a full – ahem…." He cleared his throat. "Vaginal exam."
"Oh, grow up!" Monica twisted her face in disgust. She didn't take kindly to his smart-ass quip at all. "It wasn't like that!"
"Well, what am I supposed to think? That he took advantage of you? You hear the horror stories – women lodging complaints of sexual assault from their doctors! How do I know this passionate make-out session with such sexual tension…." He sneered mockingly. "…. was even consensual?"
"It was completely consensual!" Monica shot back, irate. "God, if you were gay and left alone in an office with Richard, you'd make out with him too!"
"Oh, so he's Richard now? Not Dr….?"
"Burke," Monica sniffed. "Dr. Richard Burke."
"Oooh, la di….!"
"Don't," Monica cut him off warningly, stone-faced. "He is a sensitive, caring, well-established gentleman! I've known him since I was a little girl!"
"What?!" Chandler freaked out. "And that somehow makes it better?! You've known him since you were a….? – Jesus, Mon, how old is this guy?!"
"50s and sexy," Monica sighed, all googly-eyed.
"Oh, wow," Chandler deadpanned sarcastically. "Now I just have to meet him!"
Monica upturned her nose. "You're just jealous because you could never compare to the social graces of Dr. Burke…." She said this loftily.
"Oooh, goody! We're back to prefixes and last names!"
"Richard is sensitive….."
"And you know this how? Because he apparently saw you when you were carrying a wide load and puttering around a Kids' Kitchen Play?"
"You absolutely immature….!" Monica fumed, wagging a finger in his face. "See, this is the difference between guys like you and Joey and men like Richard! He's mature!"
"Is that all you know about him?"
"…. No….!" Monica gawked, jeering at him.
"OK: what's his favorite food?"
"Caviar."
"Eye color."
"Dreamy," Monica swooned.
"Middle name?"
"John."
"Best friend's name?"
"Probably Jack."
"Probably?" Chandler's smirk danced. "You just told me he's best friends with your parents! And that's another thing! – how do you think your mom and dad are going to take it that you're dating a guy – a guy they know – who is at least twice your age?"
"I'm sure they'll be fine with it."
"Will they be fine with it after they learn his…. foot size?" Chandler's eyebrows waggled.
"Foot size doesn't matter," Monica laughed off.
"Oh, yeah? What if you don't like the way he brushes his teeth? What if you…. hate the way he picks his nose?"
"Picks his nose?" Monica wrinkled her own.
"And eats it!" Chandler spat through gritted teeth.
"Excuse me, sir! He is a doctor!" Monica glared.
Chandler eyed Monica for a moment. "Well, then…. how come you're even sneaking little trysts in his exam room and in his office? When they talk about doctor-patient confidentiality, Monica, I'm pretty sure doing it with the doc on his desk isn't what they meant!"
"We are consenting adults," Monica stated primly, turning her head away.
"I don't care! You're his patient! He's your…. whatever-he-is doctor!"
"He treats eyes."
"And apparently stuff a lot further below the eyes…." Chandler quibbled not quite under his breath. "Tell me: did he take out your tonsils while playing tongue tag in your mouth? At least then, the exam would give you your money's worth on the health insurance!"
"Oooooh!" Monica steamed, stamping her foot. "Richard is an incredible kisser!"
"How? Did he give you his letterman's jacket before planting a chaste one on you?" Chandler puckered up his lips mockingly, poison practically dripping from them.
"Like you could kiss me any better!" Monica got right in his face.
"Oh, no?" Chandler cocked an eyebrow straight into his hairline.
It happened so fast, Monica had no time to react. Taking her by her waist, Chandler suddenly swung her, swept her into a dip. Her sapphire eyes bulged in the moment just before, as it dawned on her what was about to happen.
"Chandler, what are you doing? Let me up! Chandler, stop it! St-Mmmmmm…"
Chandler bent and kissed her – hard and unyielding. His lips grazed and slanted over hers, domineering and yet tender all at once. After a long beat lying rigid and frozen in her best friend's embrace, Monica was astonished to feel how she all at once went limp in Chandler's arms. She damn near melted, in fact. Hesitantly, tentatively, she found her arms reaching up to loop around the nape of his neck, her fingers dreamily weaving themselves into the bronze curls there as she pulled him closer and, unconsciously, almost without her realizing it and against her better judgment, she dazedly kissed him back.
It took her a moment to realize they had broken apart, and that she was back on solid footing as Chandler lifted her out of the dip. Monica swayed a little on her feet, which somehow still didn't feel as though they were touching the ground. Her eyelids, which had slipped shut during Chandler's bruising, amazing, magical kiss, now fluttered faster than a hummingbird's wings in their dumbstruck blinking.
"….. Oh, wow…" Monica murmured, dazed and thunderstruck.
Chandler just stared at her, the supremely confident look on his face not at all like the Chandler she knew and… and loved…. For the first time, Monica didn't look at him and see her goofy, sometimes immature friend. She saw a man.
"Did old Doc Burke kiss you like that?"
Monica mutely shook her head No. True, Richard's kiss had been sweeping and passionate, but Chandler's lips on hers had felt like that times ten. If Richard kissing her had caused fireworks, Chandler's mouth claiming hers was like the entire damn display on the Fourth of July.
"Chandler, I….." Monica spluttered out, before stuttering to an abrupt halt. She stopped. Tried again. "Just… just let me see something…." Softly, she approached him and took his face in her hands.
She brushed her lips along his, kissing him tentatively. When she drew away, she opened her eyes….
…. and smiled.
"No," she finally answered. "He didn't kiss me like that. But you…" She smiled shyly. "You kissed me better…."
Chandler grinned back weakly. The couple held the mutual gaze, staring into each other's eyes.
Much like with her and Richard in that tense tableau in the examination room, Chandler and Monica now swept into each other's arms, embraced and heatedly kissed. But their passion was able to burn Apartment 20 far more scorchingly and far faster than Monica and Richard's lip-lock ever could.
Stumbling, lips and teeth slanting and biting, Chandler and Monica backed up towards the door to her bedroom. Breaking the kiss briefly to get air, gasping, Monica solemnly took her best friend by the hand, her best friend whom she was also now seeing in a new light, and led him quietly, with purpose, back into her room. She closed the door softly behind them.
All through that afternoon, the best-friends-turned-couple made love. And, after he had made her cum in blissful orgasm again and again, Monica had to adjudicate with some pleasant and delighted surprise that Chandler had given her a far more thorough….. vaginal exam than Dr. Richard Burke had.
A vaginal exam in an appointment that was more worth the money. No health insurance required. Just lots of stamina.
Because, at the end of the day, whom would she rather go to bed with: a nice-enough looking older doctor, or an understatedly handsome man her own age who also happened to be her best friend?
For Monica Geller, it was no contest: she would take Chandler over the suave eye doctor every time.