Thank you for the reviews.

Did I mean to sort of... ignore this? No way. Do I just try and do too much? Most definitely, always have. Was there meant to be an update of this before now? Absolutely. Does this mean I am back? No, not partially... especially as I have two exams to revise for with the exam date in March (as I failed the one that I took in December...). So this is a little gift to you as I seemed to write it quite quickly and before I started the old revision again.

Hopefully, it won't be another 5 months before I update this again but who bloody knows. Enjoy.

(And we are still in series 12 here...)

Four

The meeting had been the worst one that she'd had since she became headteacher.

And she left it knowing that she would end up doing something stupid.

Meaning that she went to the one person that she didn't think that she could mess things up with any worse than she had already.

"Oh dear," Andrew said after she entered his makeshift office.

"What the hell do the governors know about running a bloody school?" She blurted out.

"Nothing, Kim. Very little. They might be business people but being in charge of a company is completely different to being in charge of a school."

"And Rose Massey has only been here for five minutes and thinks that she runs the place just because of her precious son. I wanted to turn to her and say that if Myles was the amazing footballer that she claimed, he wouldn't be here with us." Kim huffed. "And I was so close to telling them that the LEA was already intervening but I would expect that it would have only made them withdraw their support of my leadership faster. I knew it was coming. Even before the meeting."

"Do I dare ask about Lindon?"

"He spoke over me instantly. When we were asked about the relaxation of security measures. I think he thought that he was showing that it was a joint decision. Trying to take the heat off of me." She paused for a moment. "And I thought today would give Kelly Jo the answers that she needed to explain her life and she got them but… why does it always go wrong when the governors are in? Weeks of no fighting but today, of all days, I had to ban a parent from the site and was so close to firing one of my members of staff."

"So Waterloo Road doesn't change."

"I wish it would."

Andrew snorted. "In all of the drama, it isn't really as bad as it used to be." He said to try and make it better.

"I haven't missed the old days."

"I do. I hate all of this online stuff. The bullying was always clearer to see when there was physical evidence of it happening. A push or even a punch is easier to identify than trying to get permission to read online messages."

"You have got a point there."

Kim knew why she was there. She couldn't lie to herself any longer. Having Andrew around was, almost, a comfort. It almost felt like old times. She did wish that she hadn't told him what she had done earlier. She was getting too comfortable. Old feelings were resurfacing for (what felt like) the millionth time. She had to remind herself that it never lasted. That Andrew would be back in her life for a finite amount of time and then he would leave her again and she would have to learn to live without him again. It had been the same routine that they had done so many times that they should be bored of it.

Only Kim wondered whether she would ever be bored of it.

But she felt a lot better. She knew that Andrew would always listen to her and no matter how stupid it sounded, he would find some way to give her some advice. Whether she would take it or not is another matter but that was her decision.

"I should have stayed in Pastoral Care. Rachel always made it seem so easy to do the right thing from the top that I think I can make the same difference that she did."

"I do think Rachel makes quite a few things look easy but how much red tape has she ignored in the past to do what she felt like she needed to do?"

"Realistically, all of it."

"Obviously, we understand where that comes from. Others don't. You've watched her do it more than me. But you also know that once she has an idea in her head, she is going to make it happen whether it is the correct way to go about it or not."

Kim thought back to all the situations that she knew that Rachel had got herself into and the caravan and Bianca Vale was always the one that she would use as an example. For either way. For a reason not to get too involved and as a reason why she should get too involved. She hated that day. She wished that it never happened. And she wished that the last thing Eddie Lawson had messaged her before he disappeared wasn't to look after Rachel and to make sure that she didn't do anything stupid. Because as much as Chris was ready to berate Rachel for her carelessness, Kim had already screamed at herself 100 times for letting the situation reach that point.

"I don't know what I am going to do now, Andrew. I feel… I feel like I am only hanging onto this job by the skin of my teeth and I worry that no other school would want me after the… mess I've made of this."

She didn't expect Andrew to stand up. She didn't expect him to open his arms to her. She certainly shouldn't have walked into them but she couldn't help herself and allowed his warmth and comfort to engulf her.

"It will be okay." He said. "Some people just like fanning fires, thinking that they will put it out. I know you are actively trying to put the fire out. Some people don't understand what it is like to be at the top. And they don't understand how hard it can be. Everyone can have an opinion but it is you who has to make those hard decisions. You are doing a great job, Kim. Under the current circumstances."

She didn't say anything in return. She just allowed him to soothe her. It didn't do anything to help the meeting that had just happened. But she knew that she had comfort in someone believing in her. Although she didn't really know what powers Andrew had to actually help her out.

Andrew was a little sceptical when he was asked to Kim's office. He didn't know how much of a line they had crossed earlier. It was always so hard to get things right with Kim. One minute, he could do something that would be right and a couple of hours later, the same thing could have been the completely wrong thing to do. The only problem was that he didn't know how he was going to apologise for this. He had tried to give her support because he thought that she needed it. And deserved it.

"So the LEA and the parent governors have very little confidence in my abilities. I am unsure about whether half the staff are on my side as well." Kim said when Andrew was seated in front of her. "What can you do to help?"

To that, Andrew was almost speechless. Only he knew that she was being genuine.

"If I could report a little more to Erica." He said.

"About what?"

"About everything. Kim, there is a need for some sort of assessment so that we know where to start. So that areas of improvement can be identified and a plan of action can be arranged."

"I just…" She trailed off.

"I know. You don't want to give Erica or anyone else the rope to hang you with. I'm just not sure that the way we have been attacking this is the way to go either. As you know, I am in the office next week. I can only imagine the earful I am going to get."

"About?"

"The lack of reports. I haven't mentioned them because I knew what you would say about them and I was hoping to… gain your trust so that I could write as honestly as possible to help you out as much as I could."

He could see that, mentally, Kim had drawn back from him once again. That the last couple of weeks of bringing down her walls had been for nothing as they were all back up again. And he did understand it. Her reputation and job were on the line. With one wrong report, everything could change for her. And he had seen that happen. An LEA colleague who had never worked in a school wrote the most critical report over a headteacher's running of a school that Andrew had ever seen. Andrew, himself, even tried to argue that the report might not be a true representation of the day-to-day running. He knew that Rachel had also put across her thoughts about the inspector, in a 'he hasn't done it so he doesn't really know what he is talking about' way, for it to fall on deaf ears. And Andrew had thought about leaving the LEA at that point. Only it highlighted that there was a great need for old teachers in the LEA. Just for the understanding.

"Kim, I would never say anything that wasn't true." Andrew continued. "There may be instances where I would play down certain events to make them not seem so bad. Like I said on the first day that I was here, I understand and situations like this, where the school is being assessed, are only because the support that is needed hasn't been there. I would never do anything intentionally to put your job in jeopardy. You have my word."

"Doesn't mean that they won't read between the lines."

"No. You do have a point there. If they are looking for a reason, then they will try and find it. So let's not give them a reason."

He didn't want to assume that he was getting somewhere. He would have to test the waters in a different way to see where they stood now. But that wasn't for then. He needed to give Kim time to think over it. Maybe when he was back the week after, they needed to talk more. And when he was back in the LEA office, he would need to talk to Rachel to work out how he was going to make Kim see that he was on her side.

"You've got a visitor," Wendy said after Kim had opened the door to her office.

Kim didn't know who it was but found herself a little surprised to see Holly sitting there.

"Mum said that you probably hadn't seen her message," Holly said. "She's got stuck in Liverpool and isn't going to be back until late."

"No, I haven't seen her message," Kim said. "I'll have a look at my phone in a bit."

She stepped to one side to let Andrew out and she was actually glad that she would see Rachel that night. She needed the opinion of someone else who was in the same shoes as Andrew to see how genuine he was being. She really wished that she could trust him. There was just something holding her back.

She noticed the smiles exchanged between Holly and Andrew and she couldn't help but roll her eyes. Of course, they knew each other. It did seem like Rachel and Andrew spoke more than Kim was aware of. Not that Kim would police who Rachel was speaking to. It was not a completely ideal situation.

"Do you want to come in, Holly? I'll just finish getting a few things together before we leave."

"Thank Auntie Kim," Holly said as she followed Kim into her office. "I did say to Mum that I would be okay on my own but she didn't know how long she was going to be."

"Holly, you are only 11."

"I know. Too young. Mum said something similar."

"You know it saves her worrying."

"What do you mean? Mum never worries or overreacts." Holly said in a very sarcastic tone.

Kim couldn't stop herself from looking up at her. "You know your mum would burn down the world for you. No matter who stood in her way."

Rachel had her faults. Kim had seen them many times. But she would be the same for her had Dex still been alive. In fact, Kim wanted to find out whether Heaven was real to pull her son back to Earth, fighting any God or Goddess that might try and stop her. Everyone had told her the insane things motherly love could do or conjure up. And Kim knew when she was deep in her grief, she would have done anything to have Dex back. Absolutely anything.

Holly just rolled her eyes like she had heard it all before (which she had done).

"We could talk about something else then," Holly said.

"And what would that be?"

The wicked smile that rose on Holly's face made Kim want to take back her last words.

"Does this mean you are allowing Andrew to help?"

And how Kim hated how honest Rachel was with Holly in that moment.