Co-written with miss mika namariya! We ownnothing!

As soon as Kyoko started showing, she noticed something very odd: the courtiers had changed their behavior around her. When once they had given her a wide, respectful berth in the halls, they were now using a gentle hand on her back to guide her past them. This was strange enough, but several courtiers (the older generation in particular) now seemed… concerned for her. As if they thought she might shatter should anything untoward happen. One even reprimanded another for using slightly crass language in her presence. She simply stared at them as if they both had three heads. Didn't they know one of her dearest friends was a pirate?

They were also very, very interested in if she needed help with anything. "Honestly!" She huffed to Kanae in the library one day. "It's as if they think I'm incapable!"

She just rolled her eyes. "They're courtiers, Kyoko. And you're royalty now. Trying to assist you to get in your good graces is kind of what they do."

"Ah." Well, that explained it. "I guess I should play along, shouldn't I?"

"It might be fun, at least." Kanae gave her a mischievous smile. "See if they're willing to taste-test your cravings. Y'know, to make sure they're safe."

"But I'm immune to most poison - ohhhh." Kyoko giggled. "Moko, that's mean."

"Can't deny it'd be fun, though."

"True." Then her stomach growled, and she had to leave the library in search of food.

LINE BREAK

In the end, Kyoko didn't get to prank any courtiers with her food crimes. Mostly because she lost her patience with their other new habit: wanting to always touch her stomach. She got very used to dodging their outstretched hands, but one day, her emotions were running high.

And so, when a particularly insistent duke reached for her stomach a second time, Kyoko pulled out one of her daggers. She would have impaled his creepy, grabby hand had Kuon not been right next to her and caught her wrist. "Love, don't," he begged.

But Kyoko just reached into his pocket, through the slit, and pulled another dagger out of his weapons harness with her other hand. However, by that time, the pushy duke had beat a hasty retreat around the corner. She glared up at him. "Why did you stop me?"

Don't think about how hot she looks when she's pissed. "Because generally, stabbing a member of the nobility is bad for public relations. And, y'know, political stability."

"But they keep trying to touch me, Kuon!"

"Which I'm absolutely going to do something about. I promise." He pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead and released her wrist.

"Fine. But next time I'll move too fast for you to stop me." She tucked both the daggers away.

"I have no doubt that you will. Just let me try to make sure it won't happen again."

Kyoko used the tunnels for the rest of the day.

Meanwhile, Kuon made a proclamation: Anyone who tried to touch the princess's stomach without her express permission would face consequences. The consequences were not specified, but the castle rumor mill understood that they would involve the prince not even trying to hold back his deadly wife. (Unless, of course, it was a small child. Kyoko didn't stab them. She did, however, give them a firm look that struck a fear into them that no blade ever could.)

LINE BREAK

Kyoko was frustrated, in a variety of ways.

For one, at this stage in her pregnancy, she was always hungry. No matter how much she ate, no matter what she cooked, it was never enough. It was like she was growing a black hole instead of a baby. She'd even taken to joining Kuu and Julie for their feasts - and had out-eaten the two of them put together. Kuon had watched from a distance in fascinated horror. That horror had turned to amusement when his wife and the king had gotten into a blazing row about the proper condiments (Kyoko's opinion was all of them)... leading to the king eating a bag of admittedly delicious mush.

She was also frustrated by the fact that as her womb expanded, her center of balance shifted. As a result, once-simple actions like scaling a column with her silks became near-impossible. Kuon was quick to point out that climbing stories-talls columns wasn't exactly safe. She'd pouted into her blueberry yogurt for the next two hours. Her two-gallon jug of yogurt. Into which she'd mixed chicken pesto. Because the food crimes did not stop in this pregnancy.

Then there was the more fun kind of frustrated, which led her to yanking Kuon into the secret tunnels when he was on his way to a meeting. He almost had time to grab a weapon from his harness in self-defense before he realized who was pushing him up against the tunnel wall. "Wha-?"

"Shh. No talking. Pants off."

He did not hesitate to oblige.

Halfway across the castle, Kanae had also just ducked into the tunnels to take a shortcut to the library. However, two steps in, she heard very distinct echoes, and promptly noped the fuck out of there. She could take the long way to the library, thank you very much.

LINE BREAK

"What are you doing?" Kuon asked, having just walked into their chambers to discover Kyoko standing in a deep squat.

"Preparing."

"Preparing…?"

She nodded. "Preparing."

"I'm going to need a little more context, love."

She gestured at her belly, which she could've sworn wasn't quite so giant yesterday. "Preparing."

"Can you explain in a way that isn't just the word 'preparing?' Because I'm lost." He walked over and offered her a hand. "Are you stuck?"

She pursed her lips at him. "I'm not that pregnant!" At least, not yet. She would, in fact, get stuck in one of these squats three times in her near future. "I'm getting my body used to having my hips shifted like this so the birth is easier."

Kuon, very, very wisely, chose not to comment on the inherent horror of having your skeleton shift. Instead, he just nodded and asked, "Have you noticed that the tadpoles aren't… really tadpoles anymore?"

"Yes!" She popped up from her squat, or at least tried to. Her center of balance was constantly changing these days, which threw her off. Fortunately, her True Love was there to catch her. "Thanks." She kissed his cheek as he bent down to help her restabilize. "But yes, they have legs now!" She walked - she did not waddle, excuse you - over to the tank, where the Frogs to the Throne were having a Very Important Meeting about Secret Frog Things.

"Roob." Lady Lily held up a foot, adjourning their meeting for the moment, as two-leggers were present. Even their most beloved two-leggers could not be privy to Secret Frog Things. Instead, they all hopped over to the tank's slide. One by one, they slid down and out of the tank and onto Kuon's half-tank desk. There, they blinked wetly up at the royals, a small army of amphibians. No, the number of frogs would not be mentioned. Yes, normal frogs generally lay about 4,000 eggs at a time. No, we will not be addressing how many the Hoppingtons have, since they are a special breed and we don't have time for the academic papers that the scholars are writing.

"I need to go eat dumplings," Kyoko announced abruptly, before turning and walking out of the room.

Kuon bit back a smile. The Frogs to the Throne were, indeed, very round and doughy-looking.

LINE BREAK

Kuon woke up in the middle of the night, not to the smell of pancakes, but to the strong smell of lye. "What the -?" He sat up and pulled back the curtains on their bed, only to find Kyoko mopping the floor with a very deadly-looking concoction. At least she was wearing the face-covering the public sanitation workers wore. He squinted out at the moon. "Darling, it's… three?"

"Yes."

He went to swing his legs off the bed, but she stopped him with an outstretched hand. It was then that he noticed she was wearing heavy-duty boots. "Do I even want to know?"

"It needs to be clean."

"And it couldn't wait until morning because…?"

"Can't sleep. Mind racing." She mopped faster. He swore he could see steam rising from the floor. "Gotta do something so I don't go insane."

"Do you want help?"

She smiled at him, her eyes crinkling over her face-covering. "You're sweet. But I need to do something."

"Well, I have a certain knife that could use some sharpening." He waggled his eyebrows at her.

That line worked, but not before she'd laughed herself silly first.

LINE BREAK

As her delivery drew nearer, a worry overtook Kyoko's mind. So, to assuage it, she sought out Kanae and asked her to do something she never thought she would ask of anyone.

"You want me to what?" Kanae whisper-shouted. They were, of course, in the library.

"I need you to take all my weapons when I go into labor."

"All of your weapons."

"Just for a little bit!" Kyoko drummed her fingers nervously on her round stomach. "Just until I'm done with all the contractions."

"And why do I have to completely disarm you?"

"So I don't do something I regret, like stab my True Love for getting me pregnant."

"...You know what?" she said, after a moment where she definitely wasn't holding back laughter. "That's completely fair. Send someone to come get me when your contractions start. We'll kick out the prince until we've disarmed you." She paused. "Though you will still have hands. Try not to strangle him."

Kyoko nodded solemnly. "I'll do my best."