Chapter 15: for the future
The night they came back from Vienna to Tohma's villa was met with rain. Heavy, sleeting rain.
As they settled into bed, Masaru sat back on the bedpost for a good minute, just listening to the heavy rain hammering down on the rooftop. He could hear a continuous stream of water dripping off the side of the roof to the gutters, and each wave of intense rainpour echoed into his eardrums.
It never rained like that in the Digital World. Or at least never in Digicon Valley, the one place where he'd have a sturdy roof over his head. It probably did rain this hard in certain areas like the Southern Islands, but the one time he happened to visit was during a season with mild climate, with nothing but clear skies.
Seasons in the Digital World seemed to work similarly to the human world, both in regional and calendar time aspects. Come to think of it, he'd rarely spent time in Digicon Valley around this time of year. Even back when he avoided checking the date, he naturally traveled to warmer areas, like a migrating bird.
Here, though... It was cold. Of course it was cold; it was midwinter. In the dead of January.
Despite the winter climate, there was an extremely unusual warm front in the city causing the precipitation to fall as rain instead of snow. A cold front was expected to follow immediately afterwards, in the early morning right before sunrise, spelling a tricky disaster of ice forming throughout the city. It also spelled no condition for Masaru to fly back to Japan without a high element of risk, so to be on the safe side, Tohma insisted that Masaru stay until the weather was clear. He showed the fighter a news article (auto-translated into Japanese) about how all the weather forecasters warned about the dangers of traveling, or even going outdoors, for the next couple days.
Masaru tried to waive off the severity of the icy conditions, but Tohma put a firm foot down and had the final call in this situation. He wasn't going to take that risk.
...And deep down, Masaru didn't mind having more time alone with him.
It wasn't like Masaru had the power to change the weather. If he could punch clouds to get them to rain or to stop raining when he wanted, well... he'd have a whole other problem on his hands, to say the least. Precipitation had to come in some form or another. So as the weather forecast predicted, it rained, and it poured that night.
And Masaru would make love to Tohma under the cover of the pouring rain.
Tohma was usually the one initiating their intercourse. However, sometimes Masaru took the initiative... And when he did, it was always with extreme intensity.
Tohma always had to stay sharp on his toes, figuratively, in the case that Masaru came onto him on those rare occasions. He treasured every lovemaking session with Masaru, but these developments were always a special treat. In contrast to the dotingly coy expressions the brunet would make when Tohma was leading, it was Tohma's turn to take in all that Masaru wanted to give him.
The night passed and morning greeted them, seeping past the multiple covers of Tohma's cozy villa bed.
By whatever rare occasion, Tohma had woken up before the fighter for a second morning in a row. Masaru in turn woke up with an arm wrapped around his wayside. They idled their way back into the land of the awake, nuzzling against each other, neither side showing any sign of holding back or stopping until Tohma finally sat up.
"Masaru... Thank you for being here with me."
"Hmph. I'll be here as long as you need me to," the fighter said as he simply sank further into the bed.
"That's great and all, but you have other obligations that need attending. You're going back to the Digital World once the weather clears up."
"Yeesh, you make it sound like I'm on some special DATS assignment."
"You're free to think of it like that. But DATS is long gone..."
"I know... Besides, DATS had too many silly security checks and rules to deal with. WE run the joint now."
"And we still have plenty of security checks and rules to deal with," Tohma said with a slight head shake. "You're really so carefree sometimes. Would it hurt to have some sense of worry?"
Masaru pouted. "I do have worries... I just try not to gripe about them when I can. You got a problem with that?"
"No, not necessarily..." the blond's sentence drifted off into silence.
The silence ran for a few solid minutes. Tohma went back under the blanket with Masaru. They continued to cuddle in the meantime, however odd they felt on the inside.
Eventually, Masaru mustered up a confession of sorts.
"So yeah, I do have worries. I had a lot of weird... What do ya call 'em... doubts about myself when you first showed up a couple years back."
"Insecurities... I could sense some of that, yes... I figured some of it came from your near-death experience." Tohma reached out, landing a hand on Masaru's chest scar.
"Mm."
"Another part, from being away from the Real World for so long."
"Mm."
"And yet another part... Not to sound boastful or anything, from being away from me for so long, after how we parted back then."
"Not denying that."
"You've overcome all of those insecurities, Masaru. You being here with me at this moment is all the proof we'll ever need."
"I guess so... Even so, I still REMEMBER how I was thinking back when I felt so doubtful. Heck... I'm still thinking about it right now. A part of me even wondered if I qualified as being human enough to go back to the Real World."
"You are human without a shred of doubt, Masaru. No matter how long you spend in the Digital World, you're still human."
"Hah, as if there was a way around that to begin with."
"Don't forget the multiple examples where it's already happened. The BioHybrids, Kurata and Belphemon... Your own father and BanchouLeomon..."
Masaru grit his teeth. These were the darker ends regarding Digimon that he had trouble dealing with, and he knew it was only going to keep happening.
Tohma continued. "The technology to make it happen is still there, technically. I studied it a great deal when I was... pretending to work with Kurata for that short time period. Originally, he intended to have Relena go through an operation like the BioHybrids did. It would have worked in theory, yes... But it would have also cost Relena her humanity."
"Humanity..." Masaru repeated, pensive in his tone.
"Not only that, but it's invasive to the balance of the Digital World. A Digimon's livelihood has to be taken captive for the fusion to happen, after all. Imagine if we tried to rescue everyone who needed treatment using that method... And the amount of Digimon lives it would take. As we already know, Yggdrasil won't stand by that."
Masaru balked at the thought. "The BioHybrids didn't even have some kind of sickness, right? They did it solely for the power that comes with being a Digimon..."
"Right. There's just nothing good that comes out of the whole concept. It's far too one-sided, and humans already learned the consequences of pushing it. Before, I pointed out how humans will get blocked from the emotion filtering system if they've reached past a certain threshold... The same goes for anyone who tries to abuse our connection with Digimon in general. We'll have entire teams dedicated to ensuring no such abuse happens, but that's a subject you don't need to worry about as long as you're doing your own part. The best we can do is simply steer away from those risks for as long as we can, move forward, and make sure future generations don't repeat our mistakes."
"It's a man's job to learn from his regrets and make sure they don't happen again," the fighter summarized for himself. He nodded at his own words, convinced that he had it all figured out, even though he was actually sort of befuddled about the whole conversation.
Tohma brought things back on point for him. "So it goes back to saying... You're human, Masaru. You're the human I fell in love with, and you always will be."
"..."
Silence stirred between them again, until Masaru moved in to close the gap. He laid his warmth all over Tohma's, wrapping his arms along the blond's back. Tohma returned the embrace for a while, then gently pushed against Masaru's chest scar to get some space.
"I just hope you'll remember that whenever you're fighting out there in the Dark Area. I won't stand for it if you get injured there like you did with this scar."
"Hey, what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger."
"That's rarely the case for bodily traumas, Masaru. Do you know about anaphylaxis?"
"No, but it sounds kinda perverted."
"It's NOT."
"Sorry, I'll be serious."
Tohma put a palm to his head. "What I mean to say is... Be aware of yourself in the bigger picture. To be blunt about it... We only have this one human life. What we're trying to do will need to go far beyond our own lifespans, but that obviously doesn't mean we should do anything that'll cut that lifespan short. We'll need the help of the next generation, and the help of Digimon to help carry on the message for future generations... and for that, we need to live long enough to make sure our message is clear to them."
"Yeah, sure. I never asked before, but... Do Digimon age?"
"Not really. At least not in the same sense as humans. Remember the Digital World's midnight refresh? Digimon increase in data size over time, which helps them remain in evolved forms as they grow older. Humans don't do anything like that in the Digital World, however. We're not registered as natural parts of the digital cycle there. That's why the midnight refresh resets a lot of our statuses."
"But I still aged, physically and mentally... That's gotta mean something, right? Dad did too, after spending ten years in the Digital World."
"Yes, that's just the thing. We're not really converted into digital data in the Digital World; the Digital Dive only encodes the bare minimum that allows us to be recognized within the Digital World. A wireframe is built around what we originally have, and whatever can be processed digitally from that limited conversion is what the midnight refresh can keep stagnant. So external things like our hair and nails, areas where we naturally output our dead skin cells... And well... our waste... the refresh clears those off by converting those into digital energy. The parts that can't be converted are left alone as our biological selves. That's why we still bleed in the Digital World... That's why we still age."
"Guh... All this stuff to think about. And here I thought I was a special case when I realized that I never needed a driver's license. Mom was going to make me get one the following year way back when I first joined DATS, but then all the Digital World stuff happened... All I remember before that was her giggling at the possibility of me being able to impress you, or some weird something or other..."
"Well, with the way things are going to be, you still won't need one. Not that it was ever a concern, anyway. You've already been issued a government ID with far more authority than a driver's license would ever get you."
"Really? Is it weird of me to bother thinking about getting a driver's license in the first place?"
"Yep, that's weird. It's not like you to worry about adult responsibilities like that."
"Che... but it's not like I want to get chauffeured around for the rest of my life, either."
"Do you need a license to ride ShineGreymon?"
"Haha, no... Fine, fine. I'm weird."
Tohma finally made his way off the bed, picked up his glasses at the desk side, and threw the brunet a gentle smirk as he put them on.
"You know what's also weird?" Masaru continued. "Seeing you wear glasses almost all the time here."
"Mmm... I've definitely grown accustomed to just wearing them whenever I go out in public, at least... And when I'm not out there, I'm usually doing my research, which also has me wearing them... So yes, I'm wearing them quite frequently these days. You still haven't gotten used to them?"
"I am, slowly... For the first few days, every time I saw them... They just really put things into perspective for me... That we've gotten older and all that."
Tohma paused for a moment, taking in his companion's observations with a serious expression. His lips curled up in his usual smug precursor after a while. "And just as you said back at the Ministry, we're only getting started. We still have a long life ahead of us, and a lot of things to do."
"Yeah. Speaking of things to do... Morning boxing. We're cutting into the morning boxing schedule."
"It still amazes me when you manage to keep a routine for anything..."
"Just giving my body what it wants... And it wants some action." Masaru immediately set to nudging Tohma towards the basement. "So up and at 'em!"
A moment of quiet beseeched them before they went down the stairs, and the outside winds howled in echoes down the hallway of Tohma's villa. It was much louder than anything they had heard within the villa so far, but Tohma noted that the winds would settle down before noon.
.~.~.~.~
They stayed in until they were hungry enough to want lunch. Tohma was about to call in his butler to bring them something, but Masaru wanted to venture outside now that the winds had settled down.
"It can't be any worse than what we've dealt with while traveling the Digital World. And if you're willing to send your butler over, I'm sure you're actually prepared for this kind of weather yourself, aren't ya?"
"True..."
Tohma made the rounds to make sure that they had the right 'equipment' to deal with the icy outdoors. Fortunately, Masaru could wear Tohma's extensive shoe collection with relative ease. He borrowed a pair of boots built for the ice, and the two set foot outside the villa.
The sun was out, and small numbers of other people were also out and about all the same. Just as Tohma had noted in the morning, the piercing winds from earlier had stopped. Amongst the still, chilly air came a new sight to behold.
The sides of the roads, the signs, the trees... Were all encased in a thick layer of crystal clear ice. As the sunlight passed through the iced objects, the ice would reflect the light and send sparkling sensations all throughout the streets.
Masaru had never seen anything like it before, even in the Digital World. Sure, he'd crossed entire mountains covered in snow and ice (Mercurimon's palace was a prime example), but never had he been surrounded by such a crystalline display meshed with the structures of manmade architecture like this.
Quite literally anything that had an outline was covered in thick ice, including the very ground they stepped on. A tree nearby, bearing nothing but the bark of its branches, showed the most impressive display of the phenomenon. Every tiny twig was covered in the thick ice, and even at the thinnest twig that would have normally snapped off if Masaru so much as breathed on it... It was covered in enough ice to appear thicker than his own fingers. Masaru could lift the twig up and down quite a ways and it would stay intact, encased in protective ice.
Seeing that his casual messing with a twig had little effect, Masaru had an amusing urge to find the thickest layering of ice in the area so that he could see if he could break it. Maybe there was a big old ice-trapped tree somewhere he could punch...
"Salting the streets didn't help this at all, it seems..." Tohma said as he took his first steps out.
People all around were struggling to walk down the streets, many of them having to rebalance themselves with nearly every step, and a number of them simply falling flat on their bottoms. A certain few were equipped with well spiked shoes for the phenomenon, but for the most part, safe walking was an arduous task.
Masaru had walked on ice before, back in the Digital World, but it had always been buffered with a layer of snow to make things less slippery. Here, it was pure, thick ice with hardly a speck of snow powder within sight. Even with his spiked shoes, Masaru almost fell over on his own first steps. He tried holding onto a rail, only to find that the rail was encased in slippery ice just the same. Tohma seemed to be without issues as he went on ahead.
"Do you need me to hold you up?" the blond suggested as he traced back his steps to where Masaru was lagging behind.
Masaru frowned at the hand reaching out towards him, but he accepted it nonetheless. The other people out in the streets were too busy with their own struggles to notice them.
"These spiked shoes of yours are pretty tricky to use."
"The spikes are only on the back near the heel, after all," Tohma reminded him, moving ahead again. "If you're only leaning on your toes, of course you'll keep slipping. Step with your whole foot."
''But I already am..."
Tohma was a solid five paces ahead at that point, so the brunet made larger strides to catch up... until he misjudged a crossover and started falling head-first.
Tohma brought an arm over just in time, in classic prince-in-shining-armor movement oozing of ease. He'd obviously read that Masaru was going to tip over and showed no sign of surprise after making his rescue.
Masaru looked up at him, slightly embarrassed, but more importantly... With a certain sweeping realization. He added an awkward pause between them as he silently worked it through his mind, though Tohma only waited patiently for him.
Right... They always had each other's backs. When Tohma had gotten injured while pursuing Drimogemon... When Masaru struggled man-to-man against Cranniummon...
And in either case, they had crossed between worlds in order to reach out for the other.
.~.~.~.~
As Tohma entered his side of the bed that night, Masaru noted particular chilly spots nearing his waist under the sheets.
"Man, your hands are cold."
"Sorry, had to do a lot more work out there than I anticipated."
A brief reminder ran through the brunet, observing that whenever they weren't directly engaging with each other, Tohma spent an awful lot of time on his computer gadgets. And it was all probably in relation to the Digital World... "Well, hurry on and get closer. It'll take forever to warm up if you don't."
"Is... That okay?"
"NOW you ask? Just do it..."
"Right..."
Tohma did as asked, inching his way up to Masaru's warm body.
For the most part, they would give each other a respectful distance whenever they shared the bed for the night.
At certain times however, Tohma was a complete cuddle bug. Even in his sleep, Tohma would sometimes wrap an arm around Masaru in the middle of the night and just keep it there. He'd even adjust if Masaru shifted around for the rest of the night as he always did. Or more obviously, right after sex, Tohma would keep his head pressed against Masaru's body as he drifted off to sleep... Until one or the other finally woke up to get the sense to use the bathroom and clean up.
Not that Masaru didn't indulge in any of this behavior-he'd sleep with Tohma in plenty more awkward ways given the opportunity-he just hadn't expected the noble to have such an instinctive tendency towards skinship. Especially considering how distant Tohma seemed before they got together...
Tohma just seemed to be that type of guy to keep his distance from everyone in general. That guy with barriers. Barriers of the nobility, barriers of the genius. Tohma had multiple layers of barriers, and Masaru knew he had brought them down to a certain extent, but he had always left part of them up on purpose. He assumed Tohma needed that space, that place where he could maintain his identity and have somewhere to belong. He thought that was just how it needed to work, even if his thoughts wandered into the whats and ifs of deeper possibilities once in a while. Turned out that all those deeper possibilities were happening now anyway...
Those barriers were gone when they were together now. It'd just be them in bed together, with one clinging to the other in their sleep. Sometimes it was Tohma, usually as an end result of sleep movement during the night. Sometimes it was Masaru, intentionally going for a cuddle while Tohma was sleeping and thanking Tohma's heavy sleeper tendencies when the blond didn't wake up. Sometimes... Tohma simply wanted to hold Masaru before drifting off to slumber.
"Masaru..." He'd coo the fighter's name close to the ear before wrapping an arm under Masaru's pillow and Masaru himself. "I love you... Good night."
Such simple words coming from his long time comrade, yet so precious... Masaru could never turn down these moments of intimacy from Tohma. He'd usually try to cuddle back in some form, but only temporarily, as he'd usually feel stuffy if he didn't get enough room to snooze off. And Tohma was always fine with that; he'd usually fall asleep within moments of shutting his eyes with Masaru in his hold.
Masaru could fall asleep instantly like that as well, when he was tired or bored enough. The problem was that Tohma's presence never bored him, however... Well, it wasn't so much of a problem because Tohma's calmness would give the fighter a sense of peace as well, and Tohma had calmness in spades. The peace would grant Masaru sleep all the same, in its own gentle manner.
Sometimes, they fell asleep in each other's arms anyway. Even if they (Masaru) tossed and turned in their (his) sleep, they would usually wake up the next day, still within each other's grasp. Sometimes, Masaru would escape the heavy blanket covers entirely, yet still be in Tohma's arms. Sometimes, Masaru would wake up to see the back of Tohma's head directly in front of him. Tohma would have his side turned away from him, but Masaru would have his arms around him still. In most any case, neither would make much effort to separate once they had touched.
Perhaps even in their subconscious state of sleep, they were constantly reaching out for each other.
.~.~.~.~
The weather had cleared up enough that it would be safe to travel the next day. At last, Masaru's final day in the human world arrived.
"Well, it's not like it's really the final, final day that I'm here. I'll be back again soon enough, right?" Masaru kept the mood chipper.
Tohma was more somber in his tone. "To Japan, at least."
"Hey... I'd come back here again, too. You've got nice digs here."
"I'm glad to hear that."
One last cuddling session in front of the chimney fire, as they had tacitly agreed upon. Beyond the curtains, the night had already turned pitch black, and Tohma had kept the lighting off the rest of the villa, leaving only the fireplace as their source of light. Their naked bodies glowed against the light of the yellow flames reflecting upon them, and skin touched upon skin.
Masaru recalled memories of being with Tohma in the Digital World, when they would spend the nights in random caves... Such as when they were taking care of Yoshino, who had caught a deadly Digital World virus on their way to Mercurimon's lair.
"I already had feelings for you back then, Tohma," Masaru confessed. "And way, way earlier."
"...As did I for you."
"Eh?" Masaru blinked. Tohma was... admitting the same thing? He never did get to hear a full answer when Tohma's father asked him about it...
Tohma adjusted himself against Masaru's bare shoulders so that he was basically bear-hugging the fighter from behind. "I remember that night after the concert in Digicon Valley, when you said you'd been wanting to kiss me far longer than I ever knew... So I'd like to know when you first... had feelings for me."
The noble asked with such pure earnestness, Masaru couldn't find it in himself to steer away from the request.
"It was way back in our earlier DATS days... You remember that Loch Ness mission? What was that Digimon again... Seadramon?"
"Yes, the Seadramon mission at Lake Hinuma. I remember that. It was one of our longest missions."
"Yeah, and you slept the entire way back to Yokohama."
"It was already late at night. If anything, I'd be surprised if YOU weren't sleepy?"
"I stayed up the entire ride... Because of you."
"What did I do?" Tohma raised an eyebrow in concern.
"You were doing what you always did back then. Hogging all the glory, or at least trying to, overworking to get things done... When you should've just relied on me more."
Tohma looked contemplative as he tried to recall those moments. Masaru continued on.
"The two of us were a team, after all. I mean, both of us doing our own thing was the usual back then. But on that ride, I came to realize that... Well... We did really good work when it came down to it. And I liked how nice it felt when we got along... and I figured that... I... wanted to do more things WITH you."
"Do more... Things..."
"For the record, I was thinking about simple things at first! Trying new foods and seeing new places, those basic friendship sorts of things. But... I did think of other things too, soon enough..."
"..."
"Like wanting to see how you'd react if I touched you in a certain way, or wondering how you'd be in your happiest and saddest moments... Things like that... It was pretty vague in my head back then, in all honesty..."
"..."
"Or more like they were thoughts I wasn't sure I was really having... And I never figured out what they really were until after I left for the Digital World, when I started to miss you..."
"I think I get where you're coming from. I took too long to do anything about my feelings just the same."
Of course, neither side did anything about it until it smacked them in the face, literally.
"So what about you, Tohma? When did it... Hit you?" Masaru asked, following along his thought process straight on.
"I'm not exactly sure, in all honesty... But it might have started ever since I spent time with you and your family. Before I knew it, being with you felt like I was getting back things I had lost from growing up the way I did, and so much more..."
Masaru remembered their talk about that all too clearly... How Tohma had lost his mother, and how much that still lingered in Tohma's mind to the present day.
"The more time I spent with you, the more I realized... and this is going to sound as basic as it gets... that only you can make me feel the way I do. I simply wouldn't be anything like the person I am today without you. I'm sure that's how it is for a lot of other people who meet you, too, but... It's only when I'm with you, or when I'm thinking of you when I feel at full peace with myself. You complete me."
"Hmm, yeah, that's stuff I've heard from a lot of Digimon, to be honest."
Tohma sighed. "Like I said, that's as basic as it gets... I knew that much early on, but even as we were tracking down Mercurimon, I was already infatuated with you..."
Suddenly, all the chill in the winter air around them seemed to go hot. Masaru felt heat building up to his head, but he didn't say anything. Instead, he just leaned in further against Tohma's body as they cuddled.
Tohma simply held on closer. "Well, even if there wasn't an exact 'aha' moment in particular... There were certainly turning points. After fighting the BioHybrids for the final time, after the things I went through with Kurata and pretending to be on his side... It was primarily for Relena back then, but it got me to realize that everything circled back to you in the end."
Masaru still didn't say anything.
"I could've finished off Kurata on my own back then. I could've literally blown his head off, and that would've been the end of him before he fused with Belphemon..."
"Okay, now that's news to me. 'Blown his head off,' what?"
"The truth of the matter is I didn't go through with that because I needed to spare him death, to continue defying him under my own terms. My terms of manliness, as you would call it. So instead, I came back to you to settle the score under those terms."
Masaru blinked a few times, a little lost in the sauce. "I remember punching you super hard when you came back, as payback for the fight before that... And you took it, and that was enough for me. But you're saying that there was a lot more to it all? 'Cause I don't get it."
"And that's exactly why only you make me feel this way."
"Eh..."
"It's certainly more than you'd ever need to trouble yourself with in the end, Masaru. You should just know that the main catalyst for me to take action happened once I heard you wanted to leave the Real World. You've heard that already. You know it first-hand."
"Mm..."
Tohma continued. "I wonder occasionally... if things would've been different if I had made a move on you earlier. If I had made my feelings clearer, earlier..."
"What's done is done, Tohma. We're here together now, and that's what matters, right?"
"You'll be gone again tomorrow..."
"Hey, you aren't getting clingy now, are ya?"
"It's not that, Masaru..."
Masaru turned around in Tohma's hold and gazed upon the blond in abrupt silence, allowing him time to come out with his thoughts. Eventually, Tohma loosened his hold as they faced each other, still naked under the blanket.
"When we open up the Digital World, I'll be spending a lot of time traveling for public speaking, working on publications in scientific journals, working behind the scenes, all the like. Same with your father. That is to say... I'll be plenty busy while you're fighting in the Digital World. Just like how it's always been for the past six years."
"You pretty much never took a break until this week though, huh."
"Indeed, I rarely took a break on my own. If I did, I'd just end up missing you with the time I had to do so... So I kept myself busy to avoid that. That... That can only work for so long..." Tohma looked over, as if wanting to say Masaru's name, although he remained silent instead.
But the brunet scratched the back of his head regardless. What Tohma was saying sounded awfully similar to how Masaru used to handle things as well... "I don't mind traveling around with you like this once in a while, if it helps you out."
"...Really?"
"Yeah. First and foremost, I just... Like being with you. Where we are just comes after that."
"You mean that, truly?"
"Man's word. I'll go anywhere with you, Tohma."
"...You really know how to make it hard to let you go back to the Digital World."
"Huh?"
Tohma smiled faintly. "I went without you for six years, yet the thought of you leaving even for a short period makes me miss you so much already... That's 'clingy', I know... But..."
"..."
"Because as soon as you go back, you'll be back to fighting the most powerful monsters out there. Risking your life every time..." Tohma cast a small fist against Masaru's chest. That's what it started as... Until the noble bent his head down at an angle to hide his face from the fighter...
Masaru just watched in slight bewilderment, and then...
He saw clear droplets of liquid fall to a portion of the blanket underneath the noble's face, temporarily discoloring the white colors of the covers.
Tohma kept his face out of view, and Masaru found himself sitting still to gradually comprehend what was unfolding before him.
"The future still feels... So far..."
"Tohma..."
"I thought I'd be used to this feeling by now, after dealing with it for so many years already."
Masaru paused again, and he realized that it was the first time he'd ever seen Tohma shedding tears.
"But I'll never 'be used to it'. I need you in my life... So much..."
Masaru let the moment sink in.
"I can't... stop you from your fights, no matter how much I worry for you," Tohma's voice showed clear signs of unsteadiness, yet it still rang clear to Masaru's ears. "So if I can't stop you, then doing everything I can... to make sure you come out safe in the end... That's the best I can do."
"Hey... You do that fine, Tohma. No one else could do what you do. Really appreciate it."
They were simple words, but they were exactly what needed to be said, and it was all the reason to say them. In a fierce display of resolve, Tohma latched onto the fighter, wrapping his arms tightly around his back... And Masaru didn't hesitate to latch back in return.
"The best I can do is use these feelings to propel us into the future, for the better... no matter how long it takes. For us. For you, Masaru... I love you."
The tears slipped down into the fighter's back as they continued their tight embrace. It was his first time seeing... Feeling... Tohma cry, and hopefully the last. He wouldn't let it happen again.
"A man doesn't just stand back without a fight. As long as I've got something to fight for... I'll do it. I love you, Tohma, and I'll always fight to make sure that remains true."
His fight was his way of proving his love, even if they had to be apart.
"But well... I can't always literally be fighting. There's still so much in the Digital World that I want to show you. And there's still so much here in the Real World, too," the fighter said softly as they met face-to-face once more. "It's like you said... One world isn't big enough for us. So I'm gonna do all it takes to make the most out of it all... So that anywhere you or I will be... We can call it home."
Tohma stared long and hard at Masaru's determined expression. With a trademark smirk, he cleared up his tears and brought Masaru's fist into his own to seal a vow. "As will I."
.~.~.~.~
Agumon gave a short complaint about how he was tired of getting Gaomon's relayed messages about how much longer Masaru was going to be out, but he latched onto his Aniki upon his return nonetheless. In response, Masaru showed off the new communicator device finally bestowed upon him... Not just the smartphone-aka-Digivice, but an additional peripheral device specifically designed for Agumon's claw harness. It had the same functions as the DATS communication devices, except it was stored into Agumon's data directly, and thus invisible to the eye.
Installing the peripheral required having Agumon stored into the new Digivice temporarily for the data modification. By the time Agumon stepped out of the Digivice, he looked wildly conflicted about what he had seen inside, much to Masaru's curiosity.
"I-Is that what Gaomon gets when he's in the Digivice? Maybe it's not such a bad place after all... Kinda wish I'd known about it sooner..."
Tohma had done some modifications for the Digivice storage experience itself, it seemed.
Masaru came back to the Digital World in time for another monthly coliseum battle royale that was coming up, just like the one Tohma had stumbled upon on his way in, several weeks prior. He had a few days to get back into the groove, which worked with his internal plan to make the transition time shorter each time he'd be going back and forth.
After a good rumble, and after finally getting his chance to let loose against a multitude of opponents (no offense to Tohma, as he was obviously a great fighter too, but he was only one man at the end of the day), Masaru sat down with Agumon to eat at their favorite food stall. Agumon had coerced the stall owner into making fried eggs and curry as their main staple plates. The fried eggs were for himself, and Masaru would never grow tired of curry no matter how often he ate it.
"Hey, Agumon. You like being in charge of the coliseum while I'm out?"
"Yeah! I get to show off how awesome I am even on my own." The yellow reptile made a haughty huff through his large nostrils, resting his claws on his hips. "But... things are still different when you aren't around. And I'll never be at my max potential without you. I can still evolve to some extent on my own, but... You know how it is. You can only do so much when I'm not there too, right?"
"Yeah... Although... I gotta say it straight, that 'so much' is still... A lot," Masaru said simply. "I'm Japan's strongest fighter, after all, and I'm not stopping there. There's just so much out there..."
Agumon paused as his human friend put on a distant look. "Aniki... You aren't... thinking about leaving the coliseum... Or even... the whole Digital World or something, are you? You were gone for so long..."
Masaru took a brief moment to observe Agumon's puppy eyes. "Haa, you really think that?! I'd never leave for good. Nothing else fires up my fighting spirit like the Digital World does. And I'm not giving up what we've got here. That ain't in my blood."
Agumon nodded, his worries gone (and quickly forgotten) in an instant. "That's for sure!"
"It's just, well... We've done a lot of growing up, both of us. And I think I'm ready to do the next thing that'll keep us growing as the years come."
"What's that mean?"
"People back in the human world... the Real World... are working on reopening the connection between our two worlds. They need Tamers and their partner Digimon to keep things in check in order to do that... Which means we'll be getting a different kind of fighting routine besides the usual events at the Digicon Valley coliseum. You following me so far?"
Masaru explained the Dark Area situation to his partner, through his own terms, until Agumon got the full scope.
"You're just saying that we're getting more ways to fight, right? I'll always be there if you need me for a beatdown, Aniki!"
Masaru, hearing the response he'd come to expect, gave his reptile friend a proud smile. "But that's not the only thing I want to be doing moving forward, Agumon. There are a lot of things I want to do... with Tohma, specifically."
"Huh, okay."
"So whenever we're not busy with fights, I'd... like to be with him. Thing is, he does most things in the Real World, and Digimon won't be allowed back in the Real World for a long while yet... So there'll be more times when I'll be away from you for longer, like I was for this recent trip. But don't worry! I'll still come back to the Digital World regularly, since fighting the Dark Area is going to be our new job and all, and we need each other to fulfill our manly duties. And eventually, if everything works out, you should be able to come to the Real World again, too. I just... don't know how long that part will take."
Agumon just watched him in silence, and Masaru mustered up the resolve to say his piece of mind.
"What I'm trying to say is... Both the Real World and the Digital World are home to me, and I know that both are home to you too, Agumon. I don't want you to feel left out."
"Hah... I see where this is going. Is that what you're worried about? I can tell something's been on your mind ever since you got back."
Masaru rubbed the back of his neck in modesty. "I'm that easy for you to read, huh..."
"Just do what you need to do, Aniki! I'll be fine."
"Really? Do you really get what I'm saying?"
"Hey, it's no longer how it was six years ago, when we had no clue if we'd ever get to see each other if we went our separate ways. Now, things are going to be different. Even if you hop between worlds, we'll still see each other plenty, right? And like you said, we still need each other when the fight gets tough!"
The fighter smiled in agreement. "That's for sure! And once Digimon are okay in the Real World again, we'll all get to hang out and do all sorts of fun things together there. We'll be one big family, in both worlds."
"Yeah! Wow... Sounds great!"
In the end, it was a simple conversation, with plenty of optimism to go around. It was a stark contrast to the drama they had six years ago, before Masaru's decision to leave the Real World.
.~.~.~.~
There were some things Masaru never questioned until years after the fact, such as Agumon knowing about aniki/boss and kobun/subordinate relationships, even though the Digimon had been sheltered in a lab up until they had met.
Apparently, there was a TV present in Agumon's "holding" room at the DATS lab-forget mincing words, it was his jail cell of captivity. Although Agumon didn't have the freedom to use the TV himself (it was always out of his authorized reach, blocked by literal steel bars), at least some form of entertainment existed. One of the guards watched TV quite often while on duty, late at night when no one else was around.
This guard liked watching movies about yakuza and street gangs during this downtime. And Agumon liked watching them too. He'd stare in awe, ignoring the steel bars partially obstructing his view, watching the cool fight scenes flash by on the TV screen. After plenty of dramatic threats, violence, and raging emotions, the big boss on the TV screen would come out victorious, and his subordinates would celebrate. Agumon always took a liking to the big bosses in these movies; they were always charismatic with whatever they did, regardless if it was for the good or bad of the society they were involved in.
However, the good kind of big boss in particular would always fight for the best of his followers. Agumon learned to discern this from the other big bosses who treated their followers like pawns and ended up paying dearly for it in the end. To Agumon, those kinds of guys weren't big bosses at all... They were just bullies waiting to get crushed.
...Just like the bullies who kept him locked up in the lab all day. Waiting to get crushed by a bigger boss...
Well, maybe that was a bit too violent of a thought. Anyway, he just wanted to meet a big boss of his own someday. Someone worthy to fight with, someone deserving of his respect. Surely, he'd meet one...
.~.~.~.~
"Thanks for hearing me out, Agumon. To be honest, I thought you'd be upset again like how you were when you tried to part ways six years ago."
"Hah! Things are gonna be different this time. We'll be able to see each other whenever we want when the Worlds are connected again. And most importantly... I want you to be happy, Aniki."
"Agumon..."
"You think I never noticed anything about you? I'm a lot more observant than you ever give me credit for, Aniki." The Digimon pouted a bit as he gave the fighter human a judging glance. "Ever since I came back from that world swap two years ago, I can tell... Whenever you're talking about Tohma, you get this special look in your eyes."
Masaru felt a rush of heat run through his cheeks. "Man, that's embarrassing. You can really tell that?"
"I'm your partner, Aniki! Of course I can!"
Truly, after spending almost every waking moment with each other for six years, Masaru had no reason to feel surprised.
.~.~.~.~
The entrance to Digicon Valley that Masaru had shown Tohma several years back had a new setup. It was no longer a camouflaged entrance-the valley 'wall' holograms were still in place, but there now stood an extra device at the peripheral. The device consisted of a pedestal with a monitor propped up.
Agumon peered at the monitor that was blaring enticingly bright colors in his view. "So this is the terminal thing Tohma mentioned?"
"I guess so. He said something about an initial setup or whatnot?"
"Master has already completed the setup remotely," Gaomon spoke up next to them. "You can now choose to enter Digicon Valley, or you can initiate transfer to the Real World as long as you have the biometrical authorization. Only Masaru has authorization here, currently."
"Sounds wild..." Masaru scratched the back of neck. "Anyway, Tohma said I could call him up from this thing... which button was it again?"
Gaomon made a short sigh and tapped the screen for him, and soon enough, Tohma's face appeared on the monitor.
"I see you got it working... Or more likely, Gaomon did."
"You really gotta start with the smart-alec stuff?"
"Am I wrong, though?"
"...I can do it myself next time."
"I'm just glad to see you."
The pause that followed drove a soft spot in the fighter's will of steel.
"Ready to come over, Masaru?" The blond said, cutting straight to the point.
Masaru took a look at the company with him. Gaomon gave him a blank stare as he usually did, but Masaru long knew that like Tohma, there was always something intentional behind that calloused expression. Agumon gave him a firm nod, emitting an aura of manliness that he'd always had within him, but now with an extra layer of confidence. Weeks of independence had shown solid results, and Masaru had only to grin back at his yellow comrade.
The human fighter took in a deep, long breath, in and out... And another one.
A lot of work awaited him on the other side. A lot more of the bureaucratic stuff, a lot more of the prep for public-facing things to come... Tohma was going to be there for him at each step of the way-and Tohma was the one frontheading those aspects to begin with-but Masaru was ready to step up his own involvement with their end-goal.
Both the Digital World and the Real World were home to him. He wouldn't compromise one for the other.
Each day, he'd fight to make sure that he could bring out the best of both worlds. And each day, he knew Tohma was doing the same.
So once again, the fighter responded with a phrase he was increasingly using over time.
"Ready whenever you are."
.~.~.~.~
Coming Home
END
.~.~.~.~
End notes:
I will definitely just outright admit that there's a higher level of projection here than I normally go with, in ALL the characters involved here. For example, Masaru in Seesaw is fairly veered off canon epilogue Masaru (well, the 15 ish seconds we got of him), in that he has the trauma of the chest scar (consciously or subconsciously) directing a lot of his experiences and thoughts. And this is a spot that is personally close to home for me, having gone through a bit of a personality shift after a huge accident I had when I was ~15, one that has also left a large, permanent, and physical scar. Mine has the fortune of not being visible in my daily routine though, so Masaru gets the added layer of frequent reminders with it being right there all over his front side. He'd need that, haha.
There's still plenty of projection, especially concerning the Norsteins et al, but I'd rather not go into the details here. And there was a LOT more I could've projected, being an old adult now, but I held back as much as I could. That's not what this is for!
Finally! Now that I've finally gotten so much of this out of my head, back to regularly scheduled unabated tomatoes. ^q^
It's finally done. I don't see myself writing something this long for a single continuum ever again... but I could be lying again. There's a lot in here. Yet there's still so much I want to do, too...
Mostly in doujinshi form, so I'll be back on the art grind soon o
But really, all that needs to be known in the end...
When all is said and done, even when they are too old to burn up fiery passions as they once did... they will still love each other.