—-

He doesnt know why he led her by the hand to his room especially after spending all that time in his head rationalizing why they shouldn't be together? But by this point he was in so deep he almost couldn't take it. He really wished he had left, he really wish he'd left

"Gyutaro." Marin whispers firmly, seizing him by the shoulder, "can you maybe stop overthinking? Just do whatever you need to be comfortable. I don't bite. Besides we slept together in the shed remember?"

So he didn't misremember that atleast. He admitted his memory as of late has been faulty. He doesn't understand why but chalked it up to almost being killed as well as the fear of losing her after he promised he'd protect her. Marin turned her back, removing her bra expertly underneath her shirt. Butkeeps her shorts on thankfully. He pulls his own shirt off suddenly inexplicably nervous and replaces it with a tank pulling off his pants revealing boxers underneath facing away from her. Why is he so nervous? He's done this with her before… sort of.

But this time–

she hops on the bed rolling around giddily like a child breaking all tension within him. Of course he deadpans as she climbs unDer the covers and throws open a corner for him to climb under too. He rolls his eyes but saunters over climbing in next to her. Ass she smiles at him beaming and excited sl he asks "What's so funny?"

"Oh nothing!" She laughs hugging his arm to her chest closing her eyes as her head rests on the crook of his bony shoulder. "Daia told me you tried to leave, but she stopped you. she whispers huskily her eyes now opened. Jesus is marin psychic now? He was just thinking that! "gyu if you leave will you promise to tell me? I won't stop you if it's what you want but…"

"I'll let you know, promise, putting her mind atease just a little bit. They both remained quiet now thinking the other might be going to sleep soon when she swallows rather loudly, "don't you want me, gyutaro?" She asks, sounding a bit desperate to his ear but also hurt, like she had been holding it in the entire time. now it's his turn to swallow loudly, but he tells her truthfully, with an inhale then exhale, "yes."

"Then what's wrong?" She lifts her head off his shoulder "tell me."

He gets off his back to lean on his elbows, "I jus–" she doesnt even wait for his answer, seizing the chance and thrusting her tongue this time, no more playing hard to get. She wanted him. And she wanted him to know that. He tastes remnants of her vanilla icecream she ate earlier as she explores his mouth. He was stunned at first his own mouth slack in reply before hesitantly returning the favor. She brings her hands up and combs through his thick locks trying to pull the tangles free, he does the same putting his inner demons at bay so he can touch her like he's wanted to in his mind, a thousand times now. He flips her on her back his body pressed against hers, not crushing but he wanted to feel every inch of her and wanted her to feel the same. He wanted to give her the world.

but he wanted to forget all that if he could even though he's broke, ugly and patheti.

as He kisses her back fiercely And she smiles against his lips, "take my shorts off?" He pauses despite the surge of desire his hands tremble slightly as he unbutton the front of her jeans, pulling them off and tossing them to the floor while sitting back on his haunches.

She seemd to notice because she sits up suddenly, her brow knit in concern. "You ok? She places a hand on his shoulder as they both listened to his heart beating wildly in his chest, again. "Is it your first time? Dontbe afraid Gyutaro" Under normal circumstances if he had been told this he would've exploded in a rage ready to fight and snarl at whoever was clearly making fun of him… but when she says it, despite knowing the answer, he felt protected. He felt like he could be truthful and rather than ridicule him she'd simply accommodate.

"Marin, what do you want from me?" He asks his usual but really it was an admittance that he didn't know what he was doiing.

Only whatever youre comfortable with, we dont have to ddo anything. I can leave if you want. The look she gives is undeniably tender so he relaxes a bit more and asks if she could take over. At first she looked unsure baffled at his lack of clarity before understanding dawned when he leaned back and pulled her on top of him so she straddled him, not quite on his pelvis more on his abdomen.

She grabbed one of his hands and caressed her face gently curling her own fingers around his. They were so soft to the touch they felt like velvet to him. God he could barely stand it. She asked if she could take his pants off so he did her the favor of undoing the buttons and the zipper and she gently pulled them off tossing them to the floor. "How are we doing?"

" fine" he said with more fervor than he expected considering how nervous he was. Before explaining something to him about sex, "remember gyutaro it's not about the act but the feel. The more we communicate, the more we understand each other and the better it will feel." She said tracing her fingers along his chest making his eyes all but roll into his skull, maybe if he took his tank off they would have. he knew he probably looked ridiculous but she didnt seem to mind. "Like that? I'll remember it next time." She cooed or what about..? She grabbed his hand placing it on the side of her face again only this time she bit his thumb lightly, before sucking gently, holy shit the sensation was indescribable. He could feel his entire face blow up.

She smiled you liked that too, huh? Let's see…how about.." She pulled her shirt off in one motion tossing it to the floor then slid his hand so it was nestled over her breast and gave it a squeeze instinctively he grabbed her other breastwith his loose hand massaging them gently as they both moaned but for different reasons, she did in ecstasy while he did just on the edge of pain. He just wanted her so bad. For months. He doesnt even feel ashamed for simping anymore because the gravitation was so strong, he just wanted her so badly. He thrrew out ever principle he had for her along with every moral, every rational thought, and every inhibition out the window. He might as well have changed his entire personality because he just wanted to enjoy her in the moment before life came and swept it away again. She made him... happy. Truly happy like how dphe felt playing guitar all those years ago before those kids took it away. Happy going to school before he got jumped. Happy playing with his sister before their mom beat him. He knew the happiness wouldn't last, but he wanted to feel it again with her.

OK her voice broke him out of his thoughts, im gonna start all right? He may have moaned a reply or maybe it was just a moan in generally but she took it as affirmation. She pulled her panties off tossing them onto his chest with a giggle, now completely naked, and slowly reached for the hem of his boxers pulling… pulling… pulling….

TARO!

he gasped deeply, throwing himself upright. What's wrong, gyu? She jumped back letting go wondering if she did something wrong, he looked around the room. He could've sworn... just now he heard…

he closed his eyes and with a shaking of his head asked her to continue as he laid back down. Shewaited for a few seconds asking him if he was all right a few more times before continuing, pulling his boxers down and tossing them to the floor. She scoots over him on her knees the bed sinking slightly with each movement but her gaze never leaves his, even now she wanted to make sure he was completely comfortable. For his part he drinks in her expression doing his best to Savor the moment ignoring the earlier interruption as she aligns their bodies.

Are you ready? She checks placing his hands on either side of her hips, keep your hands here." She says while her hands braced on his navel, his only response was to pull her hips down signaling he was good to go. Using one hand to hold him in place, She drops herself down onto him and he lets out a strangled kind of gasp as he sinks into her hot pussy. It was amazing, it was hotter and tighter than expected sucking him in and so slick he felt like he slipped inside, as soon as he was in he began thrusting his slender hips as she rode him back and forth fucking his brains out… for exactly 11 seconds. The stimulus proved to be too much as he blew his load prematurely in an embarrassing mix of pleasure noises and choking gasps. And just like that it was over.

He was mortified. In fact so mortified he shoved her off himself before she could say anyythimg and sort of rolled her in the comforter like a burrito so she wouldnt recover as he grabbed his pants and boxers in one swift movement and bolted out the door to the bathroom.

as she called out to him saying it was OK.

He locked himself in the bathroom ignoring her eventual knocks on the door as he hyperventilated sitting on the floor with his head in his hands. Eventually her knocking stopped but her next words were like a dagger in his chest.

I always knew you were pathetic. His heart actually stopped, "m-marin?" He called out the door. That was definitely her voice… but it didn't sound like her did she really just say that? Marin? He called again, unfurling himself but received no answer.

Why are you so fucking stupid!? A voice shouted from behind scaring him. this time a female voice he hadn't heard in years, the same one he heard in the bedroom. What the fuck is she doing here?

Mom?! No way was she in the room with him. No way!he looked around, Wait a minute?Wasn't I in the bathroom? This looks exactly like our house!

She stared down at him with hatred in her eyes the same way he remembered her all those years ago over something he did–or didnt do, didnt matter. He existed and that was a problem. In one hand she held a cigarette between her fingers and in the other a beer bottle. He knew what was coming. It always did when she was like this. She chucked the bottle at his head. But he dodged as it hit the wall behind him shattering. He looked down at himself smaller, skinnier more like a withered tree than a human being wearing a dirty white superman shirt and Jean shorts with busted hand me down shoes as the reality sunk in that he was a child again atthe mercy of his turbulent addict mother. He bolted out the living room for the door but for some reason couldn't reach it. In Fact The door now seemed to climb higher and higher out of reach as he jumped and jumped and jumped and jumped…

TARO! he whipped his bady back around his back bracing the door as his mother said she'd kill him again if he walked in on her and her boyfriend. But ume was in there! He said or thought he was gonna say but he forgot at this age he could barely articulate words, so it came out a garbled mess with only a few words coherent enough to understand. Despite this he knew he couldn't leave his sister alone with a grown man and their momwhile they were fucking. Even if it meant taking an ass whooping he had to get her out of the bedroom.

You fucking worthless piece of– she began beating him again as he covered his face just as he had many times before.

TARO

-aro

–yutaro!

Gyutaro! He gasped his eyes darted around the room, breathing heavily. "Wh-what?" He could barely even ask the question. Where am i? It looks like the couch.

Hey! What's wrong!? Marinnasked placing a hand on his shoulder, "You are sweating! She ran out daias living room to the linen closet for a towel coming back and dabbed his face as he slowly regained control of his breathing.

"A dream? I was dreaming?"

"Yes! we were watching the notebook remember?" He looked at the TV as the credits began to roll. What's happening?! That wasn't a mere nightmare it was fucking real! That was his mother. That was their childhood shithole. He felt the beating she gave him…

But before he did he asked her what they did today. "What we did… today?"She parroted deeply worried again. "Hairos. we went to hairos right? I bought guns.!"

"Yes…"

"And the cafe..?"

"Gyu we went to the Cafe almost 2 weeks ago. Remember it was a couple days after the… incident. We were exhausted and slept for an entire day zfter daia picked us up. Seriously are you ok?" He didn't say anything only searched his brain for an answer to these memory lapses as he gathered his clothes to shower. Once in the bathroom he could only stare at himself in the mirror wondering what th fuck was going on.

"Gyu maybe you should-"

"Marin will you sleep with me tonight?!" He swung the door open abruptly and asked desperate almost pleading, she was obviously taken aback, admittedly he hadnt giving much thought to how she may interpret it, so he tried to clarify "i-i mean, stay with me. Just stay. No sex. Nothing weird. Just sleep in my room. just for tonight." She still looked confused and more than a bit worried but answered affirmatively. He relaxers grabbingnher hand and leading him to the exact bedroom he dreamt rhey were in and he sleeps holding her tightly.