(A/N: Since the Prologue is so short I decided to put up Part I at the same time. I really hope you like it. Please review. Love, Ellivia22)

Disclaimer: The Outsiders sadly isn't mine.

I Need You

Part I

Ponyboy

Two Weeks ago

The freezing temperature seemed to have dropped another ten degrees once Johnny and I reached the park. It was so cold we decided not to stay long, even though I was still frazzled by everything that happened with Darry. I wanted to be as far away from him as possible, but at the moment my desire for warmth outweighed my fear of my oldest brother.

When I arrived back home, I felt nearly frozen solid. My arms were completely covered in goosebumps and my body was trembling. Even moving my toes took more effort than normal. The tears I shed were frozen on my cheeks and throbbed along with the stinging from Darry's slap.

The lights in the living room were still on. Instead of reading the newspaper in the armchair like before I could see Darry pacing back and forth. Just seeing my oldest brother again made my chest seize up in fear. I rubbed my throbbing cheek. The last thing I wanted to do was face him. Maybe it would be better if Johnny and I ran away like I originally planned.

I immediately thought about Sodapop. He must be worried sick after I ran off like that. I couldn't just leave him. Besides, I knew that he'd be there to protect me from Darry, just like he always did. I needed his protection now-more than ever.

I took a deep breath in an attempt to calm my racing heart as I opened the screen door. I grabbed the doorknob. It was as cold as my freezing hands.

I can do this.

A burst of heat hit me all at once as soon as I entered the house. I welcomed it gladly. Darry stopped pacing as soon as he saw me. He looked extremely relieved. His blue eyes weren't as angry as before. In fact, they looked almost pleading. "Ponyboy..." he said in a much softer tone.

He took a step toward me as if he was going to hug me…or hit me again. I wasn't sure. I wasn't sure of his intentions anymore. I backed up, my shoulders hitting the door hard. "D-don't touch me!"

Darry stopped immediately. He shoved his hands in his pockets and his eyes focused on the ground. "Pony…I'm…," he struggled to get his words out. "I'm…so glad you're home." I looked away. I wanted to believe with all my heart that he was happy to see me, but I knew how he truly felt about me. He was just trying to make nice because Sodapop was here.

"Ponyboy!" Sodapop said in immense relief as he got up from the same spot on the sofa that he was before. He threw his arms around me in a hug so tight my chest ached. I was so glad to see him that I didn't care. I clutched onto him tightly, enjoying his body heat. "I'm so glad you're all right. You had us worried sick."

He pulled back slightly. His blue eyes widened in horror when he saw my face. "My God, Pony, your cheek is all swollen," he shot a glare at Darry. Darry kept his eyes focused on the ground, "and you're almost frozen solid. C'mon. Let's get you to bed and I'll get some ice to help with the swellin'."

I practically leaned against Sodapop as he guided me toward the bedroom. I could feel Darry's eyes on me, but I refused to look at him. The only thing I wanted right now was Sodapop, my warm bed, and to forget that this horrible night ever happened.

Darry

You are so stupid, Darrel, I berated myself, wiping my stinging eyes. That proved to be utterly pointless for more tears leaked down my face anyway. You had the perfect opportunity to show Ponyboy how sorry you are and you blew it!

I hid the sobs the best I could from behind my tear-soaked hands. Not that it mattered. Sodapop and Ponyboy had been in their room for the past ten minutes. It felt like I hadn't seen them in a lifetime.

All the events that occurred tonight didn't seem to be real. Ponyboy was my baby brother. I would never hurt him-no matter how much he frustrated me. Ever. Yet I did. Badly. As much as my heart hurt from his rejection, I couldn't blame him for reacting the way he did toward me when he came home. I would've done the same. Still, the pain of his rejection was causing my chest to sear, and more tears continued to leak down my face. I tried to tell myself to give Ponyboy time and he would forgive me, but I had a horrible feeling that he hated me. If I was honest with myself, I wouldn't blame him if he did. I hated myself the most for letting my anger get the better of me. If only I had told him I loved him when I had the chance.

I'm sorry, Pony. I'm really sorry.

I heard movement in the kitchen, pulling me out of my haunting thoughts. My hands left my face, and I stood up unsteadily from Dad's armchair. It took me a couple of seconds before I managed to get my legs to work. I saw Sodapop in front of the refrigerator, scooping a bunch of ice cubes in a plastic Ziplock bag.

I swallowed back another sob that was fighting to come out. I wiped my stinging eyes again and forced myself to hold back any more tears that were threatening to come out. "How is he," I asked, my tone wavering from all the emotions I was feeling.

"He's still pretty shaken up," Sodapop said, not looking at me. His tone was angry. "Can't say I blame him."

"Let me help," I pleaded desperately. "I want to fix this. I have to fix this."

"I think you've done enough."

His words felt like a literal slap in the face. A slap I definitely deserved. Sodapop moved past me, not looking at me.

"Soda, wait," I called desperately before he entered the hallway. He stopped but didn't turn around. I swallowed the large lump that had become painful in my throat. "T-tell Pony…tell him I'm really sorry. I-I didn't mean it. Tell him…tell him that I love him. Please."

Sodapop turned to look at me for a second. His angry expression softened slightly. If I didn't know any better, he almost looked concerned. Or maybe it was just wishful thinking on my part. Then he turned back around and entered the hallway, leaving me alone again.

I stood there for a few seconds, lost in my thoughts. I should just leave them alone and give them time to calm down. I found myself heading in the direction of their bedroom anyway. After everything that had happened tonight, I still wanted to make sure that Ponyboy was all right. When I got to their room, I noticed the door was open a crack. I peered through the crack, holding my breath so that I wouldn't make a sound.

"Here," Sodapop was saying to Ponyboy, handing him the icepack. "This will help."

"Thanks," Ponyboy mumbled, placing the icepack on his face, wincing. Sodapop put a blanket over Ponyboy's shoulders.

Sodapop rubbed Ponyboy's shoulders in an attempt to warm him up. "Are you doing okay, Pony?"

I watched in extreme guilt as silent tears started falling down Ponyboy's cheeks. "That really hurt," he whimpered, twisting my heart. "I-I always knew I was just a burden to him, b-but I never thought that D-darry would ever hit me." He choked on a sob. "H-he really does hate me."

No Pony I thought to myself miserably. I don't hate you. I love you. I love you so much.

"What Darry did was wrong," Sodapop said gently. "He never shoulda hit you. But I promise you, Ponyboy, he doesn't hate you. Nor does he think you're a burden. He loves you a lot."

"He sure has a great way of showing it," Ponyboy muttered bitterly. "N-not that I should be surprised. Darry's not capable of carin' about anybody except you."

My throat tightened and my eyes burned from the increasing pain I felt on the inside. I wanted to walk away, but my feet felt glued to the ground.

"That ain't true at all," Sodapop protested. "He just lost his temper. He didn't mean to hit you. He wanted me to tell you that."

Ponyboy sniffled. "You don't n-need to lie to me. I-I know the truth. I know Darry thinks I'm a pain in the neck and would give me up to the boys' home in a second if you'd let him. He hates me. Why else would he holler at me all the time?"

"Pony…you just don't understand…"

"I hate him, Soda," Ponyboy muttered bitterly. "I hate him so much. I wish he'd get hit by a train or somethin'. I don't need him. I only need you in my life."

Silent tears streamed down my face from Ponyboy's harsh words. My throat was so tight it was hard to breathe. I dared not to take a breath, otherwise, a sob was going to escape, and my cover would be blown. I felt as though Ponyboy had literally stabbed me in the heart.

"You don't mean that," Sodapop said.

"Yeah, I do." Ponyboy's expression was dead serious. "I hate him and wish I'd never have to see him again."

I couldn't stand to hear another word. Quickly I turned around and headed to my room. As soon as I closed the door, the sobs escaped my throat fast. Tears were coming even faster now. My chest seared as I felt my heart break.

I hate him.

Ponyboy and I didn't always get along, but I had no idea that he had such deep resentment towards me. All I had been trying to do was make sure that he was safe and happy. I wanted him to have a bright future to look forward to. I didn't realize until just now that all my actions were doing the opposite. Me hitting Ponyboy just made everything worse. I wished for the millionth time that I could take it back.

I don't need him. I just need you.

I wiped my face with the back of my hand. My eyes were stinging. I wished so badly that Mom and Dad were here. I could really use their advice right now. But they were gone and Ponyboy and Sodapop hated me. I was all alone.

It took several hours before I was able to stop shedding tears. Once I was calm enough to think clearly, I came to a decision. Ponyboy was angry, and rightfully so. I hurt him. To make it up to him, I was going to do what he wanted and leave him alone. The thought nearly killed me, but it was for the best. If I backed off maybe in time, Ponyboy would forgive me. At least I hoped so.

Eventually, I fell into an uneasy sleep, knowing that the following days were going to be the loneliest days I ever had.

When my alarm rang early the next morning, I did something I hadn't done in eight months. I hit the snooze button. I kept my eyes closed as I struggled to find the energy to get up. It was a rough night. I spent most of it tossing and turning, my mind reliving over and over not only what I did to Ponyboy last night, but his words to Sodapop. If I got any sleep at all it was maybe 1-2 hours, and I could feel it.

The alarm went off again. I groaned and reluctantly sat up, turning it off. I rubbed my eyes. They were swollen and hurt like a bee sting. My chest was so tight it was like a 50-pound dumbbell was being pressed against my ribs. Worst of all, I didn't have the energy and determination that I usually did. Instead, all I wanted to do was go back under the covers and forget that last night ever happened.

I stumbled down the hall toward the bathroom. Sodapop and Ponyboy's door was still closed shut. On any normal day, I'd wake them up and make them breakfast. I swallowed hard and forced myself into the shower.

I scrubbed my face several times in an attempt to rid of any signs of tears that were still stained on my cheeks. It took me even longer to shave. I knew that I was using more water than I should, which would require me to work more hours to make up for it, but for once I didn't care. I had to look and act normal, even if I felt utterly miserable on the inside.

In no time at all I was dressed in my work clothes and in the kitchen, making breakfast as normal. Ponyboy liked his eggs hard and Sodapop's with grape jelly. My stomach rumbled from the smell of the eggs. As hungry as I was the knots in my stomach were so tight, I didn't think I could hold anything down. The plan was to make my brothers breakfast, and then head to work. If I lingered much longer, I might go to my brothers' bedroom and beg Ponyboy to forgive me. I couldn't do that. I had to leave Ponyboy alone like he wanted. Even if it killed me.

SLAM!

I was just putting a slice of chocolate cake on both plates and putting them on the table when I heard the front door slam. Perfect timing. Two-Bit entered, wearing his usual blue Mickey Mouse sleeveless shirt, followed by Steve in his blue DX uniform. "Mornin' Superman," Two-Bit said cheerfully. His smile faded almost immediately. He looked concerned, which was rare for him. "What's wrong with you? You look like you got run over by a truck. Was Soda drivin' again?" Two-Bit cackled at his own joke.

I didn't even smile. My eyes stayed focused on my hands as I poured two cups of chocolate milk. A large lump formed in my throat. I wish he'd get hit by a train. Steve chowed down on a piece of cake from off Sodapop's plate. For once I didn't tell him to knock it off. He looked just as concerned as Two-Bit. "Is everythin' okay?"

I didn't answer. I was too ashamed. He'll find out soon enough anyway once Sodapop and Ponyboy wake up. I swallowed back the hurt and forced myself to act like the strong, authoritative leader I was supposed to be. I picked up my brown satchel and threw it over my shoulder. Then I tossed Steve the keys to my truck, which he caught with the one hand that wasn't covered in chocolate cake.

"Two-Bit, go wake up Sodapop and Ponyboy and let them know that breakfast is ready. Steve, tell Soda he can have the truck. I'll see them both later."

"Where are you goin'?" Steve asked as I walked past him.

"Work," I answered shortly. I didn't have to turn around to know that Steve and Two-Bit were right behind me.

"Seriously, Darry, are you all right?" Two-Bit asked. He sounded almost scared.

I swallowed hard but kept my back to them. "Make sure Ponyboy's safe, okay Two-Bit?" Then I walked out the door before they could ask any more questions.

Cool air hit me hard. I shivered, tightening my brown coat around me. It was a cold morning. I closed the gate behind me and braced myself for a cold walk to work. Thankfully it was only a mile. I hoped that when I got there I could focus on work and not the giant mess that my life had become.

Ponyboy

The sun shone brightly through the windows, making me feel even warmer under the covers. It was almost uncomfortable. I didn't make the effort to get out of bed. After everything that happened with Darry last night, I was so physically and emotionally exhausted. I could probably sleep for another eight hours. Thank goodness it was Sunday. I could just take it easy. Something I definitely needed.

I couldn't stop thinking about what happened last night. Darry yelling at me for coming home so late; his hand striking hard against my face; his ice-cold blue eyes. After everything that happened last night, how could I possibly face him? The best option was to ignore him and hope that maybe he would get the hint and finally leave me alone. I didn't want him in my life anymore anyway after what he did.

The bedroom door opened. My heart sank. And there he was to wake us up. Everything was back to normal. I kept my eyes closed. He was the last person I wanted to see right now.

"Rise and shine, Sleeping' Beauties," a familiar drawl said brightly. Wait…that didn't sound like Darry. "Mr. Sunshine is out and he's ready to play!"

Sure enough, when I opened my eyes I saw Two-Bit standing in the doorway. I noticed his smile wasn't as cheerful as normal. If anything, he looked confused. "Hey Two-Bit," I mumbled sleepily.

"Breakfast is ready for you sleepy heads. I'd get to the kitchen before Steve finishes off the chocolate cake." Two-Bit left, closing the door behind him.

I lay in bed. My stomach rumbled at the mention of food, but I couldn't find the energy to move. I felt absolutely terrified to go into the kitchen and face Darry. Sodapop rolled over to look at me. "How are you doin', Pony," he asked sleepily.

"I'm…I'm scared," I admitted. "I-I'm scared to face him."

Sodapop sat up slowly, running a hand through his messy golden hair. "Don't worry. Everythin' will be all right. Darry sounded very sorry for what happened last night. Just give him a chance. I'm sure he wants to apologize."

"I don't wanna see him," I said bitterly.

"You can't avoid him forever."

I sighed. Sodapop was right. As nice as it would be to never interact with my brother again, it wasn't realistic. Especially since it was Darry's two jobs that paid the bills. I had to face him sooner or later. Might as well get it over with. I slowly sat up and forced myself to follow my brother out of the bedroom.

A minute later Sodapop and I entered the kitchen. I was immediately hit by the delicious smell of eggs and chocolate cake. My stomach rumbled. It smelled so good, even if it was Darry that made it.

"Where's Darry?" Sodapop asked, snapping me out of my thoughts. Indeed, our older brother wasn't in the kitchen. Instead just Two-Bit and Steve were there, chowing down on cake from the refrigerator.

"He went to work," Steve said in between bites.

"What?!" Sodapop exclaimed angrily. "But he was supposed to give us a ride!"

"Don' worry." Steve swallowed. "He gave me the keys." He pulled out the set of keys from his pocket. "'Said you could have the truck."

"How's he getting' to work then?" Sodapop asked in confusion. "Walkin'?"

"Guess so. He was out the door as soon as we got here," Two-Bit said, his smile fading. "He was acting very strange this mornin'." Two-Bit's eyes widened when he took a good look at me. "Glory Pony! That's quite a bruise you got on your cheek. What happened?"

Sodapop and I glanced at each other. My eyes burned with tears as I relived what happened last night all over again. Sodapop spoke for me. "Ponyboy got home late last night. Darry lost his temper and hit him."

Two-Bit's face paled and his mouth dropped open. Steve dropped his piece of cake on the table. "What?" they asked in shock. A couple of tears fell down my face. I felt Sodapop's protective arm around my shoulder. Both of our friends looked utterly speechless.

"Golly…" Two-Bit said in shock. "I never thought Darry would do somethin' like that."

"He didn't mean to," Sodapop explained. "It was an accident."

Don't defend him I wanted to say to Sodapop. But I bit my tongue. I would never yell at Sodapop.

"That explains why Darry was so upset this morning," Steve said, taking a swig of Sodapop's chocolate milk.

I couldn't help myself. "Upset?" I asked.

"Yep. Could see it all over his face."

I ate my eggs and chocolate cake in silence. Even though I was still fuming from what Darry did to me last night, I couldn't help but feel a little guilty that he was upset. At the same time, he deserved it for what he did to me.

SLAM!

I looked up from my eggs. I grinned as Johnny joined us in the kitchen wearing his usual blue jean jacket and jeans. "Hey y'all," he greeted quietly.

Just seeing my best buddy made me feel better instantly. At least he understood what it was like to be hurt because he went through it regularly. Spending the day with him was exactly what I needed to forget Darry ever existed.

To be continued...