A/N: Hey guys! I'm back! Thank you guys soooooooo much for the reviews! I'm so glad you all like my story so far. I'm so sorry that it took me longer to update. Life for me got busy work-wise and in my personal life. Also a bit of writer's block. Anyway, I really hope you like Part IV. Please review and let me know what you think. Love, Ellivia22

A/N: Just in case there is any confusion, I'm currently writing in italics because the story is still in the past. Once we're back in the present the font will go back to normal. I hope that's okay.

Disclaimer: The Outsiders is sadly not mine. I also don't own "Yesterday". The song belongs to the Beatles.

I Need You

Part IV

Darry

The sun had just started to rise when I arrived at the job site the next morning. Since Sodapop had the day off I decided to leave a little earlier. That way I had time to relax and make sure I was awake enough to start the day.

I sipped on my large black thermos as I sat at the deserted picnic bench in front of the unfinished house. The hot coffee warmed my insides and gave me a shot of energy that I desperately needed. I rubbed my eyes. I still felt groggy and worn out from the night before. Greasewood Flats had a whisky competition that went on way past midnight. I didn't get home until nearly 2 AM. It was going to be another long day. Thankfully I had the night off for a change. I could use the extra sleep.

I stared at the almost-finished house in front of me. I marveled at the progress we've made. We had only started this project two days ago and it was already time to put on the asphalt shingles. At this rate, we'd be starting a new project by the end of the week.

I felt someone sit beside me at the table. "You're here early," Austin chirped, placing his small black lunch bag on the table.

"Yeah." I sipped my coffee. "Soda's off today so I thought I'd come here early and check out our progress. I can't believe we're almost done. We just started this project Monday."

Austin gave me a strange look. "Monday? We started this project last week. It's Wednesday, November 5th."

I stared at him in confusion. The 5th? How could it already be November? Just two days ago I started working nights at the bar. I rubbed my head. Was it two days ago? My mind felt fuzzy. Now that I thought about it, I wasn't sure what day it was. Had I been working so much that I had lost track of time?

"How much sleep did you get last night?"

"Enough," I answered, not looking at him. More cars and trucks were parked at the job site as our coworkers arrived. Time to get to work. I stood up from the table, taking another long swig of coffee. Then I secured my tool belt around my waist. I made my way to the two-story house.

"Darry, you don't look so good. I think you should take the day off and go home."

"I'm fine," I reassured him. "Besides, I have two brothers to provide for. I can't afford to take a day off."

Carefully I grabbed a bundle of roof shingles and lifted it on my shoulder. I could feel the muscles in my arms stretch and throb from the strain. My shoulder quivered. I wasn't sure why. A shingle bundle was only 30-50 pounds heavier than a ruffin bundle. I should be able to carry this with no problem.

As I began to work, I felt my mind start to wander. The coffee was starting to hit me and wake me up. I could think much more clearly. Austin was right. It had been over a week. Over a week since I hit Ponyboy; a week since he had last spoken to me; and a week since I started working my third job. All I had time for anymore was working, sleeping, and eating whenever I had the chance. No matter how hard I tried to fight it I could feel the strain of working three jobs starting to get to me. I didn't have nearly the amount of strength that I used to, and it was becoming harder to have enough energy to get through a whole shift without my body shutting down. I continued to push myself because the more days that passed the happier Ponyboy seemed to be without me. As much as that broke my heart, his happiness was all that mattered.

I secured the last shingle from my bundle on the roof, then stood up unsteadily. I wiped the sweat off my brow. I had only been here for an hour, and I was ready to go home. Slowly I descended the ladder. My body felt heavy with each step.

Without warning, I felt my foot slip from the ladder. I attempted to regain my balance or even grab onto the ladder, but it was too late. I started to fall.

BAM!

Then everything went black…

"I'm fine," I insisted as I sat on the edge of the uncomfortable hospital bed. The room had the nauseating clean smell that you would find at a hospital. It was making my stomach queasy. A pretty nurse with long dark hair and deep green eyes hovered over me. She had just finished taking my temperature and was applying a blood pressure cuff on my arm. "I just have a headache."

Austin gave me a sharp look from his position on the uncomfortable-looking plastic chair he had been sitting on for the past half hour. "You fell off a 10-foot ladder and were unconscious for ten minutes. You're getting checked out. Just be grateful that you weren't too far from the ground and Mr. Lash wasn't there to see that."

I swallowed hard, adjusting my position on the hospital bed. The mattress was hard and creaked. My body throbbed just from moving. I didn't want to think about what would've happened if my boss had been onsite when I fell. I hoped with all my being that he didn't find out. I could lose my job, which was the last thing I needed right now.

"Are you sure you don't want me to call Sodapop?"

"Yes," I said firmly. "I don't need him to worry more than he already is."

"Maybe we should talk about Ponyboy then. After all, I know that's what this is all about. So, what really happened?"

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"When you came around, you kept apologizing to Ponyboy."

I rubbed my head again. The only thing I could remember after waking up was being surrounded by my terrified co-workers and having the sudden urge to vomit. Austin continued to stare at me. It was like he was my older brother. I had never been good at opening up to people-not even my own brothers. Austin was a rare exception. He befriended me the first day I started at Lash Roofing and Construction. Not only did he show me the ropes, but his kindness helped me deal with my parents' deaths. Over time he had become more than a co-worker and mentor, but a close friend and surrogate older brother. I could trust him with anything.

The nurse handed me a cup of water. I took it gladly, enjoying the cool liquid down my throat. Once she was out of the room, I bent my head and began to tell my friend everything. Just the thought of my baby brother made the pain come back at full force. "I did something terrible…something unforgivable. I….I hit him." My hands rang in my lap. "I-I didn't mean to. Ponyboy didn't come home until 2 AM and I was consumed by fear and anger that I-I lost control."

I half expected Austin to be disgusted and leave my hospital room. "I'm sure Ponyboy knows it was an accident," he said after a moment.

I sighed again. "He hasn't spoken to me since. Can't say I blame him. I deserve it. That's why I've been working so much. It hurts too much to be home."

"What does Sodapop think about all this?"

"He thinks I should talk to Ponyboy. I know he's right but…to tell you the truth…I'm afraid. I'm afraid he won't forgive me, and I'll make everything worse."

"He's right." Austin agreed. "You messed up. Ponyboy deserves an apology-even if he's not ready to listen."

I nodded in agreement. Ponyboy deserved an apology. I needed to make it up to him-even if he didn't want me to.

Then I once again remembered the harsh words he said to Sodapop that night. I wiped my face before a tear could fall. I longed to talk to Ponyboy. I longed to tell him how sorry I was and not just for hitting him. I was sorry for always being so hard on him. I wanted to tell him that I loved him, but I couldn't. I made a promise to myself. I was going to leave Ponyboy alone. I had to keep that promise. No matter what.

The door to my hospital room opened. A doctor entered. He looked to be about ten years older than my father was before he died. His black hair was greying on the sides and wrinkles were on his face. He had a clipboard in his hands. "Hello Darrel. My name is Dr. Reynolds. How are you feeling?"

I shook his hand. "I'm fine."

He looked at his chart. "Well, the good news is that all your test results came back negative. There were no broken bones, ruptured organs, or signs of a concussion. You're very lucky."

The stress in my shoulders eased up as relief swept through me. "So am I good to go?"

"Yes. I'll have Nurse Anne bring you discharge papers. Just take some ibuprofen and take it easy the next day or two."

"He will," Austin said. "I'll make sure of it."

I stayed silent. I didn't bring up that I already had tomorrow off from this job. I also didn't mention the fact that I was working my other two jobs tomorrow. I needed to take care of my brothers and I wasn't going to let a simple fall stop me.

Austin left the room to get the truck. As I got dressed the only thought on my mind was to go home and sleep for a month. Working and sleeping were the only ways to forget about the overwhelming hurt and loneliness that I still felt on the inside.

Sodapop

"Yesterday…all my troubles seemed so far away," I sang along to the radio sitting on the coffee table. "Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday."

I placed Ponyboy's now folded white T-shirt on the couch then grabbed another from the basket. I continued singing to the latest song released by The Beatles as I worked on the laundry. The song was more depressing compared to their usual rock songs, but I found it a fitting way to describe how miserable my life had become.

My emotions were all scrambled up as if they had been put in a blender. Not only was I frustrated by the fact that Darry and Ponyboy hadn't talked in a week, but absolutely devastated by the fact that I lost the other love in my life. My beautiful Sandy.

"Why s-she had to go I don't know. She w-wouldn' say," I sang in between choked sobs. "I said somethin' wrong now I long for yesterday."

Tears fell down my cheeks as I thought about my now ex-girlfriend. Over the weekend I stopped by her place after work. I needed someone to talk to about everything going on at home. Most of all I needed her love and affection. Instead, I was met with a nasty surprise. Not only had she been cheating on me with multiple guys, but the child that she had been carrying was not mine. I didn't know which pain was worse: the fact that she never loved me or that the baby wasn't mine.

"Love was such an easy game to play. Now I n-need a place to hide away. Oh, I believe in yesterday."

I felt so alone. I wished so badly that I had someone to talk to. Darry was busy working or sleeping and Ponyboy was too busy with school or focused on his anger toward Darry to listen to me. Steve wouldn't understand. He always hated Sandy. The only thing that kept me distracted from the pain of my broken heart was doing chores around the house that Darry had been too tired to get to. It was a constant struggle not to feel resentful of Darry for getting a third job or of Ponyboy for being so stubborn. I wished there was a way to fix everything, but I didn't know where to start.

The radio station changed to the song "Lollipop" by the Chordettes, but I tuned it out. Instead, my mind continued to relive that night that the girl I loved broke my heart. I missed her so much.

CREAK!

I looked up from the laundry basket when I heard the front door open. Darry came in looking utterly exhausted. His face was unnaturally pale, and his eyes were barely open. Unfortunately, I was used to my brother looking like this when he got off work. I glanced at my watch. 4 PM. He wasn't due to be home for another two hours. I wiped the tears off my face before he saw.

"You're home early," I commented, putting the folded shirt in Ponyboy's pile.

"Yeah. We finished the project early so Mr. Lash sent us home." Darry said. He looked at me guiltily when he noticed what I was doing. "Thanks for taking care of that, little buddy."

I continued to stare at him. He was avoiding looking at me and the expression on his face was pained. Something wasn't right. Darry just lied to me. He never lied to me before. What was he hiding? "You look exhausted. Why don't you go lie down? I'll take care of dinner." Just like the other nights, I thought to myself.

Darry nodded. He took off his grey work shirt and threw it on his chair-something he had never done before. As he moved past me, I noticed something on his wrist. It looked like a wristband you'd get at a concert or something.

"What's that?" I asked, pointing to the wristband.

"Nothin'." Darry said. His tone held no emotion, but his blue eyes were full of panic.

He tried to move past me quickly, but I was too fast for him. I grabbed his arm firmly. The wristband was white and had some writing on it. "Darrel Curtis. DOB: 1/5/45. St. Francis Hospital". My blood ran cold. For a split second, I had forgotten how to breathe. Hospital?!

"H-hospital?!" I stuttered. "What in the hell were you doing at the hospital?! What happened?!"

Darry looked unconcerned. "Nothin'. I just had a small accident at work. Don't worry. I'm fine."

"What kind of accident?!"

"I fell off the ladder."

"You WHAT?!" I was starting to get angry. Not only was Darry being stubborn and selfish, but he was being careless too. I couldn't just stand by and watch him kill himself. "How long are you plannin' on doing this?!" I demanded. "Until you kill yourself?!"

"I'm not trying to kill myself." He pulled his arm from my grasp and moved past me. "I'm doing this to prove to Pony that…" he trailed off.

"Prove to him what?"

He stopped, his back to me. A tear fell down his cheek, startling me. His next sentence came out in a choked whisper. "Prove to him how much I love him." Then without another word, he left the dining room. I heard his bedroom close shut.

I let out a frustrated sigh. I collapsed on the couch next to the folded laundry. Darry had always been so stubborn-he got it from Dad. If he wasn't going to talk to Ponyboy I had to find another way to mend the bond between my two brothers. It was time for Ponyboy to realize how sorry Darry really was.

Ponyboy

The best place to watch the sunset in Tulsa was the park not far from the house. It was an open area with plenty of grass to lie on. The weather had been so nice the past couple of nights that I'd come here to watch the sunset, smoking, and enjoying the peaceful surroundings.

I sighed happily as I watched the sun disappear behind the trees, leaving behind beautiful rays of orange and yellow in the sky. It was so beautiful. I took a drag from my cigarette. Watching the sunset always put me at ease. I could forget my troubles and for once pretend that everything was okay.

"Golly, that sure was pretty," Johnny said from beside me. He had been watching the sunset with me for the past couple of days. I enjoyed his company. I always did.

"Yeah," I answered peacefully, attempting to blow a smoke ring.

"The different rays of color were what made it so pretty," he went on. "I can see how it calms you."

"Hmmm," I agreed, taking another drag of my cigarette. I closed my eyes as my mind started to wander. There were only a couple of people I could talk to about the beauty of the sunset. Darry would get bored instantly and Two-Bit would make a joke of the whole thing. Just Sodapop and Johnny. Maybe Cherry Valance.

I smiled as I thought about the redheaded Soc. Even though I had just met her that night at the movies last week I couldn't help but miss her. I missed the deep conversations we had that night. She truly listened to me without judgement-even if I was a Greaser and she was a Soc. That was until she told me that we couldn't see each other again. My smile faded and my chest seared. I wished she was here. I could talk to her about how my life had changed drastically this week. I would tell her about how it felt like I only had Sodapop anymore, and as much as I didn't want to admit it, I hated that Darry hadn't said a word to me since the night we fought. I was still angry at my oldest brother for hitting me and didn't want him in my life, but I couldn't deny the fact that him ignoring me hurt a lot. It was as if he didn't care about me anymore. I pushed Darry out of my mind, my thoughts returning to Cherry. I wondered what she was up to. Was she watching the sunset too?

"Shouldn't you be getting home?" Johnny asked after a moment, breaking into my thoughts.

"Nah," I said, keeping my eyes closed. "Sodapop don't care as long as I'm home by 7." Despite everything that was going on at home I was enjoying my new freedom of not having Darry breathing down my neck every second.

A pair of bright headlights came into my line of vision as a car came toward us. I tore my attention away from the sunset. Fear gripped my stomach. The car was a red Stingray and was really expensive looking. It was a Soc.

Johnny and I stood up quickly. "Wanna split," Johnny asked nervously, putting on his blue jean jacket.

"Stay cool," I muttered.

I watched in utter shock as Cherry got out of the driver's side. She was wearing a pretty yellow dress with blue flowers. Her red hair was down. What was she doing on this side of town? An even better question: how did she know we were here? Judging by the distressed look on her face, something was really wrong.

"Cherry," I greeted her uncertainly as she came closer. "What are you doin' here?"

Cherry wrung her hands. She looked nothing like the strong woman who wasn't afraid to stand up to Dally or Bob. Nervously she looked over her shoulder as if to make sure she wasn't being followed.

"Ponyboy, I came to warn you…" she looked anxiously between myself and Johnny. "To warn both of you."

Johnny and I glanced at each other, then back at her. "Warn us?" I asked in confusion. "About what?"

"Bob. He was awfully upset that you guys tried to walk me and Marica home last week. All he talks about is getting even. I'm afraid if he gets drunk again, he'll try to hurt you…both of you."

As much as I didn't want to admit it, Cherry's words made my stomach feel uneasy. I still hadn't been able to shake off the fear I felt when Bob glared at me last week. To keep myself calm, I kept reminding myself that I had nothing to worry about. I had Darry. He was big and strong. He could take down Bob in a heartbeat.

Wait…what was I talking about? I didn't have Darry. He was mean and didn't care about me. I had Sodapop. Sodapop could protect me just as good as Darry. Why did Darry pop into my head in the first place? I hated him.

"Pony?" Cherry asked nervously.

I forced my emotions back. I took another long drag of my cigarette-this time to calm my nerves. I gave her a cool look. "Don' worry Cherry. We'll be fine."

Cherry chewed on her fingernail nervously. "Pony, you gotta listen to me. Bob wants to do more than just jump you. I think he wants to kill you."

"Pony, maybe we should listen to her," Johnny said quietly. "Maybe we should tell Darry."

"We ain't tellin' Darry nothin'!" I snapped, the anger and resentment for my oldest brother coming back fast. "I ain't talkin' to him, remember?!"

Johhny paled for a second, his dark eyes wide as if I had struck him. I felt bad instantly. I had no right to take out my frustrations toward my brother on my buddy. I shot him an apologetic look. "I'm sorry."

Johnny recovered quickly. "It's all right."

I looked back at Cherry. She bit her lip as if she was about to cry. "Don't worry. I'll be fine."

Then she did something she had never done before. Her arms wrapped around me in a tight hug. She smelled so sweet, like flowers. Must be her perfume. Then she did the same to Johnny. "Take care of yourselves."

Without another word she got back into her car and drove off, leaving me and Johnny alone again.

All I could think about the whole walk home was Cherry's warning. Was Bob just blowing off steam saying stuff like that, or did he really want to hurt me? Maybe Johnny was right. Maybe I should tell someone. I decided to mention it to Sodapop during dinner tonight.

I noticed the beat-up pickup truck was parked in front of the house. Usually, Darry would be gone by this time. Maybe he had the night off for a change. If so, he might join us for dinner for a change. Or perhaps he was sleeping. Honestly, I hoped it was the latter, and not just because I was still angry. He always looked so exhausted these days. He needed the rest.

I was immediately hit with the delicious smell of pizza when I came through the door. My stomach rumbled. Lunch seemed like so long ago. I was starving.

"Welcome home, Ponyboy," Sodapop greeted me.

"Hey," I answered. My sixteen-year-old brother was sitting on the sofa, a brown leather-bound book in his hand. Our old photo album. He was alone. Surprisingly none of the gang was there and Darry wasn't in sight.

"Darry's asleep," Sodapop said as if he had read my mind. "He has the night off, so I told the gang to not come by tonight so he could get some sleep. It's just you and me kiddo."

"Tuff enough." I sat next to him on the sofa. "Whatcha doin'?"

"Just waitin' for the pizza to cook. Should be ready in twenty minutes."

I forgot all about Cherry's warning. I couldn't take my eyes off my brother. I had never seen Sodapop so serious before. His light eyebrows were furrowed, and worry was in his blue eyes, which also looked pained. I looked over his shoulder at the open book in his lap. My eyes focused on the first picture at the top. I recognized the much younger versions of our parents. The setting was a hospital room. My mother had a newborn baby in her arms. Dad had his arm around her and his face was full of fatherly pride. I also recognized the younger versions of my brothers, one on each side.

"Is that me?" I asked, pointing to the newborn.

"Yep."

Just looking at the picture of my parents made my heart ache. I missed them so much. It had been eight months since their deaths, and I still couldn't believe that they were gone.

"I miss them," I said to Sodapop, a tear falling down my cheek. "I miss them so much."

Sodapop threw his arm across my shoulders. He hugged me tightly. "I know kiddo. I miss them too."

I continued to stare at the picture. I noticed that two-year-old Sodapop didn't look very happy. His face was scrunched up and red and a frown was on his face. "You don't look very happy."

Sodapop chuckled. "I was goin' through my terrible twos. 'Sides I was mad that I wasn't the baby anymore." He ruffled my hair affectionately. "As I got older though, I began to appreciate having a baby brother. I had someone to take care of. I began to understand why Darry loves it so much."

I looked at my oldest brother in the picture. Six-year-old Darry had the biggest grin on his face. He looked as if he had won a candy shopping spree. I had no idea he was so happy when I was born.

Quietly Sodapop and I went through the album, recounting old memories of times when life was much simpler. I grinned as I looked at the pictures of us being out in the country, riding horses, and enjoying the quiet and solitude. It brought me back to the night at the vacant lot and how I told Johnny all about a life without Greasers and Socs. That was the night when everything changed.

The next picture was of us playing football with the gang in the park. Mom must've taken that one. Sixteen-year-old Darry had his arms around the both of us, grinning broadly. I was surprised to see my ten-year-old self staring up at him in adoration.

"You always wanted to be on Darry's team," Sodapop commented.

"Yeah," I agreed. "Johnny and I could always count on his muscles."

I looked at the picture of me hanging on Darry's back after his last football game. He was still in his bulky uniform and covered in sweat. It was the last picture taken of just Darry and me. I couldn't take my eyes off the big grin on his face. It had been so long since I had seen him smile like that.

"Pony…" Sodapop said softly. He stroked my hair gently. "I know you're still angry and you have every right to be. But don't you miss Darry?"

There was no doubt that I missed Darry. I missed playing football with him and when he and Sodapop would pick on me in the mornings. I missed talking sports with him. I even missed his cooking. Most of all, I missed the relationship we used to have.

"Yeah," I answered, my eyes not leaving Darry's grin. "I miss the person he used to be before we lost Mom and Dad."

DING!

Sodapop let out an uncharacteristic sigh. He got off the couch to check on dinner. I didn't move from my spot on the couch, my eyes still trained on the picture. Another silent tear fell down my cheek. I wished with all my heart that things would go back to the way they used to be.

When I woke up again it was the middle of the night. The windows were still dark and Sodapop was sound asleep beside me, snoring lightly. I rolled over. I groaned when I saw the time on our alarm clock.

2:30 AM.

I rolled over again in an attempt to get comfortable. The mattress felt hard, and I was hot under all the covers. School was in a couple of hours. I needed to get some sleep. Yet it seemed that no matter how hard I tried I was wide awake. Not only that, but my mouth felt dry like it was stuffed full of cotton balls. I needed some water.

Careful not to wake Sodapop I slid out of bed and left the bedroom. The cold floor froze my feet. I tiptoed down the hallway, wiping the sleep out of my eyes. Instead of water, I found myself craving a glass of chocolate milk.

I stopped suddenly when I entered the dining room. I squinted when I saw the bright light coming from the kitchen. I could see Darry in the kitchen, dressed in just his white undershirt and boxers. His dark hair wasn't slicked back like normal but fallen on his forehead as if he had just woken up. He was pouring over many papers scattered on the table. Next to him was a checkbook and calculator. A plate with pizza crust and an empty glass was pushed aside. Why was he up this late? He had work in the morning.

I moved a little closer, holding my breath. If Darry saw that I was awake I was sure to get a lecture about getting a good night's rest. At this point, I'd almost be glad to receive a lecture from him. It would mean that he still knew that I existed.

For the first time since our fight, I took a good look at my oldest brother. Darry looked nothing like the strong, hard brother I've known since Mom and Dad died. Instead, he looked like a completely different person. He looked worn out-as if he hadn't slept in months. There were dark circles under his eyes and his face was unnaturally pale. I almost took a step back when I saw the expression on his face.

Darry looked utterly lost. It was as if the world was collapsing all around him and he didn't know how to fix it. As his eyes looked between the two pieces of paper in his hands the more worried he became. It almost looked like he was about to break down any second. I didn't realize that the bills were causing him so much stress.

Darry has more worries than a person his age ought to.

At that moment Soda's words came through. I knew that Darry was working hard to keep us together, but I had no idea what a big responsibility that was. No wonder he was always so hard and serious all the time. He was trying not to let it show how worried he was. He was trying to protect us.

Maybe I should give him a hug, I thought to myself. Maybe I should tell him how grateful I am for how hard he works.

Why would you do that? A voice whispered in my head. Darry hit you. You hate him. Remember?

No, I thought to myself as I turned around and headed back to bed. I don't hate him.

I slid back into bed, pulling the covers to my chin.

I just wish he cared about me as much as I still care about him.

To be continued...

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