A/N: As always, thank you all SO much for the reviews. You guys have been so great and it means a lot that you all are enjoying this story as much as I've enjoyed writing it. I hope you like this part. Please review and let me know what you think. Love, Ellivia22

Disclaimer: Sadly, The Outsiders is not min.

I Need You

Part X

Ponyboy

It's amazing how slow time can go when you are desperately waiting for something. Several hours have passed since Sodapop and I were brought into Darry's hospital room. It's the middle of the night and Darry still hasn't woken up yet. It feels like he's been asleep for days. To pass the time Sodapop and I have been taking turns watching over him as he sleeps on.

I adjust my position in the uncomfortable armchair that's in the corner of the room. I pull the blanket the nurse gave me tightly around me, but it does little to warm me up. It's so cold in here that I can't stop shivering. From my new position, I can see Sodapop sitting in a chair, next to Darry. Despite my protests of not being tired, Sodapop insisted that I try to get some sleep. I find it nearly impossible. It's hard to sleep with the constant beeping of the machines that Darry is connected to. Besides, every time I close my eyes all I can see is Darry on the ground, the red blood seeping from his stab wound. Darry dying.

He's going to be fine I remind myself. The doctor said so. The longer Darry sleeps, the more I worry that he'll never wake up. I hear Sodapop letting out a sharp breath. I know he's just as worried as I am.

I force myself to think about something else. My mind immediately relives all the events that have occurred in the past couple of hours. Two-Bit and Johnny returned to the hospital around 8 pm. Not only did they bring barbecue sandwiches and banana splits from Dairy Queen, but a fresh set of clothes for me and Sodapop. I feel a little better now that I'm out of my bloody clothes and a little cleaned up, but no matter how hard I scrubbed, I couldn't get the dried blood off my hands. The blood will forever be on my hands if Darry doesn't make it.

Then after we had dinner, one of the nurses, a pretty woman with long dark hair and deep green eyes came by, bringing a bag with Darry's bloody clothes, his wallet, and keys to the truck. It didn't take long for Two-Bit and Steve to find the truck in the Winn Dixie parking lot. I wonder for the millionth time why Darry was there instead of at work, but that explains why he followed me. After bringing the truck back Two-Bit and Steve stayed in the waiting room with the rest of the gang as they waited for Darry to wake up. I'm grateful for everything the gang has done to support us during this troubling time, but it doesn't erase the heavy guilt I still feel in my chest for causing this whole mess.

I am jolted out of my troubling thoughts when I hear what sounds like a choked-back sob coming from where Sodapop is sitting. At first, I think I'm hearing things, but after several seconds of silence, I hear another. I sit up from my uncomfortable position in the chair. "Soda? You all right?"

"I'm fine, Ponyboy," Sodapop whimpers, telling me he's anything but. "G-go back to sleep now."

Sleep is the last thing on my mind. My older brother is upset. I'm so exhausted from all the tears I've shed today that I feel physically drained. I'm not sure how much comfort I can give, but I have to try. I grab the other spare chair from the corner of the room and join my brother. As soon as I look at my brother's face the tightness in my chest triples, making it difficult to breathe.

Sodapop looks nothing like the cheerful, happy-go-lucky brother that I've always known. His face is as red as a tomato, his cheeks wet with tears. His blue eyes are swollen and show so much hurt. The last time I saw him this upset was at our parents' funeral. It's as if everything that happened is taking its toll on him. He's clutching Darry's IVed hand tightly.

I put an arm around his shoulders. "It's gonna be okay," I attempt to convince him as well as myself. My voice cracks involuntarily. "Our big brother is strong. I'm sure he'll wake up soon."

Sodapop sniffles, more tears falling rapidly down his cheeks. He doesn't say anything, nor will he look at me. His eyes remain focused on our sleeping brother in front of us. I swallow hard. It breaks my heart to see Soda like this. I force back the tears that are desperately trying to come out again. "Soda, I'm so sorry. I-I didn't mean for any of this to happen."

A long silence stretches between us. He must not want to talk to me right now. After everything that's happened, I don't blame him. I decide to give him some space. I am about to get up from my chair when Sodapop speaks at last. "Ponyboy, why d-didn't you or Darry tell me about that Soc threatenin' you?" He wipes his eyes. "W-why did I not find out until after our b-brother ended up in the hospital?!"

I look at my hands guiltily. "Darry didn't know. I didn't even know that he had followed me."

"But why didn't you tell m-me? You always tell me everythin'"

"I meant to. It's just everythin' goin' on with Darry-."

"Y-you could of been killed! Darry nearly died! D-did you even think for a s-second how devastated I'd feel if I l-lost either of you?!" Sodapop chokes on a sob. "It's bad enough M-mom and Dad are gone, and S-Sandy left me. If you guys just talked to e-each other like I had been tellin' you none of this would of happened!"

Sandy left him I think to myself. I had no idea.

Tears start rolling down my cheeks. I feel sick with shame. He's right. He should've been the first person I told the moment Bob started threatening me. I should've listened to him in the first place when he was trying to convince me to forgive Darry. Not only that, but I had also been so focused on my anger I hadn't been there for my brother when he needed me. Worst of all, I hurt the person I love the most.

"Soda, I'm sorry." I wrap my arms around my older brother. I hug him so tightly I can feel the bones in his back. Sodapop grips onto me and continues to sob. "I'm so sorry. I-I never meant to hurt you."

"I c-can't lose another person, Ponyboy. I-I just can't."

"You won't. The moment Darry wakes up, I'll make things right. We'll be a family again. I promise."

Sodapop's body shakes as the sobs continue to rack him. It hurts me so much seeing him like this. I always thought I knew everything about my brothers. I always thought Darry was big and strong and could handle everything. Looking at him lying in the hospital bed attached to machines has made me realize that he isn't invincible. He can get hurt, both physically and emotionally. Soda always seems so cheerful and happy-go-lucky. His tears have shown me that he has been through a lot more than he lets on.

"You are the last person he thought about before passing out," I tell Sodapop gently after a long moment, rubbing his back. "He told me to tell you that he was sorry and that he loves you."

As I continue to clutch onto my brother, I make a silent promise to myself. When Darry wakes up not only am I going to make everything right, but I am going to be the little brother that both Darry and Sodapop deserve.

By the time Dr. Reynolds comes by around three o'clock the next afternoon, I had already started losing hope that Darry is ever going to wake up. Each hour that passes the stronger the despair, guilt, and utter fear I'm feeling continues to grow. Not only do I worry that we're going to lose our big brother, but I am terrified that Sodapop and I will be split up and sent to a Boys' home. I know that Darry would want me to be in school right now, but I just can't bear to leave him. Sodapop didn't push me on the matter. I'm grateful. To pass the time Sodapop and I have been sitting in the room, recounting old memories of the three of us growing up; times in the country; and even memories of the three of us after losing Mom and Dad. Every memory we recount makes me miss Darry more and more.

Sodapop and I stay back as Dr. Reynolds and the nurse with long black hair hover over my brother. They've already checked the wound on his chest and now are checking his vitals. My stomach is still queasy from seeing the deep wound on my brother's chest. It's no longer bleeding, but the wound is bright red, and I can see the stitches that Darry received during surgery. Dr. Reynolds says Darry will have that scar for the rest of his life.

"His vitals are looking good," Dr. Reynolds says, pulling off his stethoscope. "His blood pressure is back to normal, and his heartbeat is strong."

"So how come he ain't awake yet," I ask. It isn't easy to keep the frustration out of my tone. Being up all night and the lack of cigarettes has made me moody.

The doctor is unphased by my tone. He looks at us seriously. "Your brother's injury was nearly fatal. Judging from how nicely the wound is healing up I doubt it's an infection. It could be his body is so exhausted from fighting death that it needs longer to recover. It doesn't help that he's been overexerting himself lately."

Realization dawns on Sodapop's face. "You're the doctor who took care of him when he fell off the roof."

"Yes. He was lucky then too. Could've broken his neck." The doctor makes more notes on his clipboard. "I'll be back in a little while. If he hasn't woken up by then I'll order some more tests."

I sigh, resuming my position in my chair. Sodapop squeezes my shoulder in reassurance. "Don' worry, Pony. The doctor's right. Darry's just catchin' up on all the sleep he's missed out on."

"I know. I just wish he'd wake up already."

"Me too." Sodapop continues to rub my shoulders. "Why don't we get out of this room for a while? We can go have a smoke and some fresh air and get somethin' to eat?"

Sodapop's suggestion is tempting. I long to go have a cigarette. It's only been 24 hours since my last drag and I can feel it. I feel like I haven't smoked in days. I can't. I made a promise to myself to be there when Darry wakes up. I can't leave him-not even for just a moment.

"No thanks. You go ahead. I wanna sit with Darry a little longer." Sodapop gives me a worried look. "I'll be fine I promise.."

He hesitates for a second, then grins. A knowing look is on his face. "All right. I'll be right back. Make sure Darry don't run off."

I grin back. Sodapop leaves the room, shutting the door behind him. I settle in the chair in an attempt to get myself comfortable and take Darry's hand. It's not cold and clammy like it was in the ambulance. It feels normal, which makes me happy. If only he would just wake up.

The door opens. I don't bother looking up, figuring it's Dr. Reynolds again or one of the nurses. Or maybe it's Two-Bit bringing me the homework from the classes I missed. I hope so. It'll give me something to do.

A soft feminine voice speaks instead. "Hi, Ponyboy."

Cherry.

Sure enough, the redhead Soc is standing in the doorway. She's wearing a simple black and white checkered dress and a black and white headband. A stack of books and papers is in her arms. Worry and guilt are all over her pretty face.

I stand up slowly, not letting go of my brother's hand. "Cherry? What are you doin' here?"

"The whole school is talking about what happened," she says quietly. "I came to see how you and your brother are doing."

"I'm surprised the gang let you come."

"Your friends are pretty angry," Cherry agrees. "But Two-Bit and Johnny convinced them to back off once I told them I was here to apologize."

I don't respond. I look back at Darry who is sleeping soundly. I don't know if I'm more angry or relieved that she's here. "How's he doing?" she asks softly.

"The doctor said he's going to be fine, but he won't wake up. It's almost been a full day. I-I'm terrified that somethin' is wrong and that he never will."

Cherry puts the books and papers on the table next to the bag containing Darry's clothes. Her tone wavers as she struggles to hold back the tears. "I'm so sorry, Ponyboy. This whole mess is all my fault. I should've tried harder to keep Bob from hurting you."

I sigh. I want to be angry with her and blame her for everything Bob has done, but I can't. It's not her fault her ex-boyfriend tried to hurt me. And she did warn me. "It ain't your fault. It's mine. I shouldn't of been walkin' alone. I should of listened to my brother in the first place.

I keep thinkin' about all the things I should of done differently. I shouldn't of stayed out so late and worried my brothers. I should of forgiven Darry sooner for accidentally hitting me. I should of told my brothers what was going on. But I didn't and now Darry and Soda are suffering 'cause of my mistakes."

I can feel the lump in my throat forming again. I'm about to start bawling, but I don't want Cherry to see. I turn my back on her and walk to the window, next to the chair I was attempting to sleep in hours ago. Through the glass, I can see the cars pass by. I stay silent for a few minutes as I gather my thoughts.

"I keep thinkin' about that night we met. You had asked me to tell you about Darry. I-I was so resentful and angry about the way he was treatin' me that I said a lot of things that ain't true." I wipe my burning eyes. "If you were to ask me that now, my answer would be completely different."

A small silence passes between us until Cherry's soft voice breaks it.

"Tell me about your oldest brother."

Darry

There was always something about the country that put me at ease, whether it be the peaceful surroundings or almost perfect weather. Or it could be every time I was in the country, I was able to let go of my worries and relax. There were no gangs. No violence. Just me and my family enjoying a simple life. For the first time in a long time, I felt happy. Truly happy.

I sighed contently as I bent over the engine of my old Ford pickup. The beat-up truck was still in pretty good shape for being ten years old, thanks to my constant care. It was that time of year when I would check the electrical system and make sure that the vehicle was ready for the upcoming winter. The sun shone on my back as I examined the wiring of the engine. The thing to look out for was any visible damage, corrosion, or loose connections in the wiring. Everything was looking good so far.

My mind wandered as I continued to work. It was pretty quiet, meaning my family was off doing their own thing. Mom was in the kitchen of the house we rented making chocolate cake. Dad was feeding the cattle. Sodapop would be riding his favorite horse, Mickey Mouse, and Ponyboy under a tree reading. Life was perfect.

When I reached for the black wire, I suddenly felt an electrical shock hit me. It started in my chest and ran up and down my body. My body convulsed and tingled all over. It was a sensation I had never felt before.

"He's back," an unfamiliar voice says. He sounds so far away like he could be on the other side of the room. It's pitch black and I can't see anything. Everything hurts, especially my chest. The worst part is I can't seem to move. My arms and legs feel heavy as if I am being weighed down. I struggle to breathe as the panic is starting to settle in.

"Patient has been resuscitated," another voice says. "We're pulling up to the hospital now."

Hospital? Patient?

I want to open my eyes so that I can see what's going on, but it seems like my eyelids are glued shut. I feel myself being moved around. No matter how hard I try I can't seem to take control of my own body. It's as if I'm paralyzed. Panic and fear are taking over. What's happening to me? Why can't I move?

"Patient is a 20-year-old male in critical condition. Stab wound to the chest. Went into cardiac arrest in the ambulance."

"Let's get him to the OR stat."

OR?

"Stay strong, big brother," the panic in my chest eases up as I recognize Ponyboy's voice. "We love you."

Then I feel my body slip away again.

I opened my eyes, being relieved that I was able to do so. To my surprise, I found myself not in a hospital operating room, but back in the country. What in the hell happened to me? I rubbed my head and I suddenly felt very weak. I started to sway.

"Easy, son. I got you." I felt strong arms grab me to keep me from toppling over. I looked into my father's eyes. I felt as though I hadn't seen him in years. He was wearing a flannel shirt and jeans. He looked like my twin, just twenty years older. He was smiling at me, and I could see tears in his brown eyes.

"I'm okay," I reassured him. "I must've touched two wires together or somethin'. I felt this electrical shock and then it was like-."

Dad put his hands on my shoulders. "Darrel, I need you to listen to me. It isn't your time. You need to go back to them."

I stared at him in confusion. Not my time? What was he talking about? And go back to whom? Before I could ask, I felt another surge of electricity enter my entire body. I yelped in pain, clutching hard onto my Dad's arm.

"We have a pulse," a feminine voice says.

"Good. Give him another transfusion. He's lost a lot of blood. Nurse Anne, hand me the retractors."

"Yes Doctor."

The pain in my chest is becoming overwhelming, and the fact that I can't see anything makes it so much worse. I'm starting to feel scared. Where is my dad? Why did he leave me? I try to call out to him, but I feel like my mouth is being blocked. Air fills my lungs constantly. Each breath is excruciating.

"There is severe damage to the myocardium. We need to get the bleeding to stop and seal up this wound before we lose him again."

"Doctor his pulse is dropping again."

"Dad, I'm scared," I said shakily as my dad and the familiar countryside came into focus again. He looked extremely worried, his eyebrows furrowed. I clutched onto his arm even tighter-if that was possible. "W-what's happening to me?"

"You're fighting," Dad said.

"Fighting what?"

"To stay alive."

I continued to stare at him in confusion until everything that had happened suddenly came rushing back at full speed: Ponyboy being surrounded by those Socs; the knife entering my chest. And the pain. So much pain. The worst part of all was struggling to breathe as I felt my body shut down. The fact that my dad was standing in front of me must mean… "A-am I dead?"

"No, but you're running out of time. You've got to find the strength to get back to Sodapop and Ponyboy."

He was right. Ponyboy was still in danger. I had to get back to him and save him. Then again, I was sure the gang or Sodapop had found him by now. They would keep him safe. As for Sodapop…I was sure he hated me after everything I had put him through the past couple of weeks. I didn't blame him. I felt shocks go through my body again, but this time I forced myself to ignore it.

"I'm not so sure that's such a good idea. I-I haven't been a good brother lately." I lowered my head, too ashamed to look my father in the eye. A large lump formed in my throat and my eyes started to burn. "I've made so many mistakes. I've hurt them both so much." A silent tear fell down my cheek. "Maybe…maybe they'll be better off if I don't go back."

"Time of death: 6:20 PM."

"They aren't angry at you. Neither are we. Everybody makes mistakes. Even big brothers."

"Y-you mean you ain't ashamed of me?" I asked hopefully, keeping my eyes lowered.

My dad squeezes my shoulder gently. "Of course not. We know it was an accident. You've been dealt a rough hand, Darrel. You had to grow up quickly and take up responsibilities someone your age shouldn't. Your mother and I are so proud of you for everything you've done to take care of Sodapop and Ponyboy. Most importantly you saved Ponyboy's life." I looked into my father's serious brown eyes. A tear slid down my cheek. The tightness in my chest lessened. "You just have to keep fighting for them."

More tears fell. Happy ones. "I-I'll always fight for them. I promise."

"I know you will."

I hugged my father tightly around the chest. I hadn't hugged him like this since I was a little kid. What made me the happiest of all was I could actually feel him. He was really here with me. I felt safe and protected. "I love you, Dad. Tell Mom I love her and miss you both very much."

"We love you too. We love you all so much. Don't forget we're always with you. In here." Dad touched my chest over my heart. "Now go. Take care of your brothers."

I gave my dad one last grin. Then I closed my eyes determined to find the strength to win this fight.

I suck in a huge breath; my face no longer being blocked by a mask. My eyes pop open, which doesn't help much, because all I can see is a bright white light. "Ponyboy," I choke out hoarsely. "Sodapop."

"I can't believe it! It's like he has superhuman strength."

I struggle to move but feel a soft hand on my chest. A blurry woman with long black hair and green eyes is hovering over me. I calm down almost immediately from her touch. "Relax. You're going to be fine, but you need to go back to sleep now."

Before I have a chance to take in my surroundings a mask is placed over my face and darkness overtakes me once again.

Then I remember no more.

Everything is hazy when I open my eyes again. My eyelids feel like they weigh fifty pounds and are unable to focus. All I can see is blurry shapes and bright white everywhere. I feel utterly exhausted-as if I had roofed three houses in one day. If I close my eyes again, I might fall back asleep, but for once I try to force myself to stay awake. The worst part is the sharp pain in my chest. It's hurting so much that I almost feel queasy. The strong smell of the hospital doesn't help either. Air enters my lungs from a tube connected to my nose.

After blinking for several minutes, I finally can see something besides blurry shapes. The hospital room I'm in is much bigger than the one I was put in when I fell off the roof the other day. There are several machines everywhere, a circular table in the middle, and an armchair in the corner. The room is quiet, except for an irritating constant beeping. Where are my brothers? Are they all right? Or are they still so angry with me that they don't want to see me?

"I keep thinkin' about the night we met. You had asked me to tell you about D-Darry. I-I was so resentful and angry about the way he was treating me that I said a lot of things that ain't true." That voice. I'd know that voice anywhere. When I turn my head, I can see my baby brother by the window wearing a simple white T-shirt and jeans. A huge grin spreads across my face. It means the world to me to know that Ponyboy is alive and safe. I want to call out to him, but my mouth is so dry it's like it's stuffed with cotton balls. I can't make a sound even if I wanted to. "If you were to ask me that now, my answer would be completely different."

I wonder who he's talking to. Probably Sodapop or Johnny. A voice I don't recognize speaks instead. It's young and feminine. "Tell me about your oldest brother."

I bite my lip. After everything that has happened between us, I don't want to listen. I don't think I can bear to hear how much Ponyboy hates me now. I have no choice but to listen as my brother lets out a small sigh.

"Darry and I ain't close like Sodapop and I are. But just 'cause we were different don't mean I didn't idolize him growin' up. We used to play sports together all the time. He taught me how to throw a football." Ponyboy chuckles slightly. "I 'member when I was eight years old, I had thrown a ball, and it broke our next-door neighbor's window. I thought I was gonna get into so much trouble, but Darry took the blame."

I grin at the memory. I got grounded for two weeks and had to work extra chores to pay for that window. It was worth it. Ponyboy continues. "Before Mom and Dad died, Darry had everythin' goin' for him. He was the star quarterback of the football team and Boy of the Year. He could of been a Soc. And he ain't just some dumb jock either. Darry is so smart. He could of gone far in life. I wanted to be just like him. But all that changed when Mom and Dad died."

I can't take my eyes off my brother as he continues to stare out the window. Does he really think that about me? I think to myself in surprise. I had no idea. Ponyboy wipes his face, then after another heavy sigh, he continues. "When we lost our parents, Darry gave all that up to take care of Sodapop and me. He dropped out of college and got two full-time jobs. He works so hard just to make sure that we are okay. It was then that he changed into a person I didn't recognize. He became cold, hard, and mean. It seemed like all he would do was holler at me or nag me about somethin'- whether it be about my grades or not playin' football or readin' enough. No matter how hard I tried I could never please him. It hurt. A lot." I swallow guiltily, my eyes starting to burn. "After he hit me, I wanted more than anythin' for him to leave me alone."

When he finally did leave me alone at first, I was relieved. I finally had the freedom to be myself without him breathin' down my neck all the time. After a while, I began to miss him. I started to realize that I had been completely wrong about my brother. Darry may be hard and his eyes always cold, but that's 'cause he's tryin' so hard to be strong for us and not show how overwhelmin' his responsibilities are. He hounds me 'cause he loves me. He believes in me and knows that I have the potential to be somethin' great. I never appreciated him for how hard he works. I never thanked him for all he's done for us. Instead, all I've done is hurt him."

Ponyboy lets out a quiet sob. "Darry saved my life. H-he's my hero and I love him very much. I wish he would wake up so I could tell him that."

My cheeks are wet as I feel the tears silently running down my face. Ponyboy's words warm my heart. Any pain that I felt from the night I hit him is long gone. In fact, I have never felt happier. After everything we've been through, my brother still loves me. I find the strength to speak. My tone is hoarse and barely audible. "You just did."

Ponyboy slowly turns to face me. His brown eyes are wide. "D-Darry?" he squeaks.

I grin at him. "Hey, little buddy."

The next thing I know Ponyboy has his arms tightly around me, his head buried into my shoulder. His body starts to shake as the sobs rack him. I can feel my hospital gown becoming wet from his tears. My arms feel heavy, but I manage to wrap them around my little brother's skinny frame.

"Shhh it's okay, baby," I whisper soothingly, stroking his hair gently. "I'm okay."

"I-I thought we l-lost you…" Ponyboy whimpers. "...like we did M-Mom and Dad."

"I'm okay. I promise."

My words don't seem to comfort him in the slightest. If anything, he grips me even tighter. He hiccups a little as the sobs continue to escape him. "D-Darry I'm sorry. I-I'm so sorry for everythin'. I'm sorry I c-came home late. I-I'm sorry that I didn't listen to you. I-I'm sorry I said all those awful things. I didn't mean it. I-If you don't wanna take care of me no more then I understand."

I look at him strangely. "Of course I want to take care of you. Why wouldn't I?"

"I-I hurt you."

"And I never should've hit you." I continue stroking his hair. "Listen, Pony, I don't want you thinking that this is all your fault. It's mine too. Maybe if I had been around more, I would've seen what was going on and stopped it sooner. I'm sorry that I turned you away last night. I just thought…" I swallow hard, a fresh tear sliding down my cheek. "I thought after everything I've done that…that you didn't need me anymore."

"I do need you. I need you to protect me and keep me safe. I need your guidance to help me succeed in life. I need you to be my brother." Ponyboy squeezes me tighter, another sob escaping him. "I-I just want my brother back."

"I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. I promise."

His head buries further into my shoulder. "I love you, Darry."

"I love you too, kiddo. Never forget that."

I close my eyes, enjoying being close to my baby brother again. I've wanted this for so long, and now that I have it I'm not going to let anything pull us apart again.

"Glad to see you two finally making up," a familiar voice says from the doorway a couple of minutes later. Ponyboy and I pull away to not see the girl that Ponyboy was talking to just minutes before, but Sodapop leaning in the doorway, wearing his black and red flannel shirt and jeans. He has a big smile on his face, but I notice that his cheeks are wet from tears. I have a feeling that he's been standing there the whole time. He approaches my hospital bed slowly. "You gave us quite a scare, Dar," he says, putting a hand on my shoulder.

"I'm all right," I say with a grin. "You ain't getting rid of me that easily."

Sodapop hugs me tightly, which I return. A moment later I feel Ponyboy's arms around the both of us. I grip my brothers tightly. The overwhelming feeling of my brothers' love envelops me like a warm blanket. I don't feel alone anymore. My grin is wider than ever. Everything is going to be okay now that we are a family again at long last.

To be continued…