AN: Cerberusx you got it, that sweet Purple Stuff is an homage to that nasty ass Sunny D.

Disclaimer: Bonesboy15 doesn't own Helluva Boss or Naruto. The following is a written work of fan-fiction. It contains adult language and situations. Reader discretion is advised.

One Knuckleheaded Glutton

The Parting Glass

Bee moaned into the kiss she shared with the speckled hound that was on one of her guest beds. Yes, fuck, yes yes yes. She's wanted to get some release for so fucking long! The Three-Headed Idiot, as she called her partner of almost two millennia, gave her the go ahead for a free fuck since his current patrol was taking a few days longer than expected. She straddled the happy hound that she cornered at her party last night and ran her hands over his chest. So fuckin' broad and muscled. Mm, fuck...he was high as a kite and just stupid enough not to recognize who she was when she greeted him the hour before.

A perfect free pass who wouldn't even remember anything. Cerberus wouldn't even have to waste a day to hunt him down. She could just fuck him and kick him out, then get back to the main event once they got back from their patrol of Hell's Alcoves. Shit, and this idiot's dick was decent sized, too...Knot might be a shower though, but she can deal with–

A series of padding feet ran down the hallway outside the door.

" Bee?! Bee, where are you?! I-I need your help! Bee!"

No. NO! God fucking dammit! Bee groaned and felt her heated core cool. Of all the times for Baby Bro to actually come to her when he needed her help with something...Fuck. There goes her mood.

"Uh, was that, like, a kid?" The dumb, coked up himbo hound with pretty spots asked. His claws kneaded into her butt while his dilated eyes looked up at her. "That's...that's super fuckin' kinky, babe."

"That's my Baby Bro." She growled at him. Her lower hands reached down to the hands groping her and pulled them off. They immediately went back and she glared down at the idiot. "Hey, dipshit, when the hands are pulled off, that means stop."

"What? Nah, c'mon, it'll be fun! Listen, the kid can join in, I don't mind. I know this guy in Lust, gets 'em real young from the orphanage there and hot fuck, does he train 'em right. Shit, I love the way they wrap their cute little muzzles around my co–GUuuuckkkk–!" One of her hands wrapped around his tongue and started to pull. She glared into his coked out eyes while he started to whine until he stopped. Permanently.

Dammit, this fucking idiot just ruined her fucking morning with that revelation of his darkest kinks. She was all for the freedom of indulgence until it either led to self-destruction or real heinous shit, like the sick fucks that tried to use her or Ozzie to justify any underage crap from happening. Given that she now had a minor in the house – oh, fuck, right. Baby Bro. But...body... …Ah, well, she had to redecorate this room anyway. A new bed was pocket change.

GULP ... Burp.

"Up here, Baby Bro!" Bee called as she walked out of the room, wiping at her muzzle with some leftover sheet. From around the corner, Baby Bro appeared and, weird, his fur looked darker than normal. What did he get into? Not to mention his Vibes were –

Bee's pupils constricted as she darted at him and snatched him out of the way of the foaming Hellbies' infected Hound that was inches behind him with its mouth open wide. It, and four more behind it, ran past with yips, barks, yowls and howls. She looked around the main hall below her. there was a small group eating some other unconscious partiers that didn't get out of her house – fuck. Fuck! How did she miss a Hound with a Hellbies infection that far in its stages? Again? Ugh, she'd have to look into it after she dealt with it. Cerberus was never going to let her live this down.

Bee looked at the trembling Foxfiend in her arms and pushed her nose to his neck. Fear, Shame, Anger...The first one made sense, but the other two? What the fuck was that about?

"Are you okay?" Scenting, there was infected blood all over his coat, but she didn't smell any of his. "Baby Bro, you didn't get bit, did you?"

"I'm fu– I'm fine. I just...I slipped a lot...Dammit…" He scrunched his eyes shut and clung to her neck. He whined and whimpered as his ears flattened. "I'm better than that. I can be faster than that...They got them and I couldn't...I couldn't stop it...I can't save anyone..."

"Hey, hey, calm down, Baby Bro. It's okay. I've got you." Bee nuzzled his head. So long as he didn't ingest any of the blood, there wasn't an issue for him. Now she just had to get him to calm down. "I've got you."

"B-But I couldn't save them."

"Baby Bro, you're a pup—"

"I'm eightee-!" He scrunched his brow as he often did whenever he tried to get his age right. That was becoming a concerningly more common occurrence. He scowled. "I'm six."

"A pup." She reiterated with a smirk. He grumbled at her teasing, as his goofy big ears went flat again – so fuckin' cute – and she kissed his cheek. His Vibes gained a hint of Embarrassment, Shyness and worst of all that same small bit of Confusion he got whenever she showed him affection. The Fear, Anger and Disappointment dwindled away, that was better than nothing. She smiled and knocked on the bottom of his chin with a gentle knuckle. "Hey, but you tried to help, right? It's not your fault they overpowered you. And you outran them, too, yeah?"

"…Yeah."

"See?! You'll be saving Hounds from their own fuckin' stupidity in no time." She buzzed into his ear and he laughed and fuck were his Happy Vibes delicious. They still had a sour tinge to them, but they were delicious all the same. She cooed into his ear and hugged him tight. "My little hero Baby Bro."

"Ugh...stop calling me that, Bee."

"I'm always calling you that. You could look like a grey ol' hound at Death's Door and I'll still call you that." Rather than dwell on his yet determined life expectancy — she wasn't worried about it, it only absolutely fucking terrified her that Belle couldn't give an estimate since his physiology was so different from the average Hound — She nuzzled him again and grinned at his frustrated giggle. "Because that's what you are: My Baby Bro."

"...Are we gonna stop the zombie-wolves or–?"

"They're not zombies – How do you even–? Did you and Cerberus have another horror movie marathon last month?!"

The last time that happened she was on nightmare duty for a week! And he still hadn't shaken the weird fixation he had on ghosts. She was thinking about getting a therapist or specialist involved...After Ozzie brought it up.

"Uhh...Look, there's a pack over there that's got someone cornered! I don't think they're bit! We should help them."

"...This isn't over, Baby Bro –" She yelped when he started to scramble out of her grasp and jumped towards the ground. She dove and snatched him from the air and growled at him. "You little fucker! Don't jump out of my hands while we're this high up!"

"But I can make it!" He pointed at a blue-furred Hellhound bitch that was scrambling up a pillar away from a Hellbies pack. "And she's running out of pillar!"

Bee huffed and growled at his accurate take on the situation. This little menace was such a pain in the ass sometimes. If this was motherhood was like, then Bee was fucking estatic that Sin reproductivity was an all time low possibility.

Hey, but, that blue-dyed hound scared out of her mind? Kind of cute…Bee was so glad she didn't discriminate based on body size.

"Bee!"

"Sorry, right, let's get her. Climb on my back Baby Bro."

An amazing aroma roused Bee from her slumber that morning. She followed it in a half-dazed state out of bed, practically floating down the hall after the heavenly scent, and then froze where she stood in the entrance to her kitchen. Baby Bro's clones were everywhere; they were in 'costume' at various 'stations', making different foods.

"Hotcakes, comin' thru! Move-!"

"Which table wanted the sunny side up?!"

"Babbiti-boopi, bingidity-bapbi!"

"Don't you take that tone of voice with me!"

"Hey, do we put the ham with their hash browns or do we put the spam with hash browns?"

" Yes!"

"The fuck is the waffle mix–? Fuck, are we out of waffle mix?!"

"Running low on cereal and milk, too!"

"The kid at table twelve keeps eating our crayons! That's my job!"

While sitting at the island with her back to Bee, watching the chaos unfold with her phone at the ready and a small smile on her face was Pretty Pup. Her tail wagged gently and she had a cup of hot coffee in front of her. Beside her, totally ignoring the nonsense, Baby Bro sat and read a newspaper. With glasses. Glasses that she was pretty sure he didn't need.

"Dreadful, simply dreadful." Baby Bro turned a page and made a haughty huff. "Ugh, awful. Just awful." Another page turned and his ears perked up. "Huh, listen to this, Loo: some idiot went and let an Oni skull-fornicate a Minotaur on that live television programme. The expected birth rates have risen across the Rings thanks to the record viewing!"

"You're having too much fun with this, Doof."

"Fun? Me? Perish the thought, Loona." Baby Bro folded his paper and stuffed it, along with the fake glasses, into his mouth. He swallowed both down and smirked at the cute hound when she shook her head, before he covered her phone's camera, lowered it and leaned over to wrap his arm around her shoulders so he could kiss her cheek. Shit, those were really sweet Vibes. Pretty Pup let out a happy whine and leaned into the affectionate gesture, before he stopped and muttered into her ear. "Don't challenge me to amuse people, it's my only secret skill."

"You're such a Doof." She snorted and shoved him back. He smirked and pulled her further into a hug, even as she continued to push at his face and snorted a laugh when he kept nipping and kissing into her neck. "Stop! Naruto, you're ruining the video! Dammit, Do of!"

Wow, her pitch got high.

"Hey, I'll have you know that I resemble that remark."

"Comin thru, scuse me, Bee." A clone squeezed by her with a tray of uncooked meats over his head. He stopped and looked at her. Shit, she should've just backed out a while ago. She gave a weak smile and wave. The clone and his meat disappeared with a cloud of smoke. The rest of the 'staff' and their various foods did the same. Huh, how'd he replicate the smell of all that good food – Oh, there were dishes in the sink. She missed the actual breakfast then.

Which left her alone with Baby Bro and Pretty Pup. Both of whom were now staring at her. Watching her. Shit.

"..So, uh, that...smelled good." Bee grinned, a terribly weaker smile than the one she gave to the clone. Fucking ass-riding, porn titties...she wasn't ready to have this conversation. "Um...Morning?"

"...Bee." Baby Bro greeted her with a nod. He gave Pretty Pup another kiss on the cheek. She accepted it, then turned and gave him a smaller one full on. Ugh, that was so fucking cute and it really didn't help the weird 'Glustony'-associated Vibe she didn't like that was trying to make itself known. "Be back in a bit, Loon."

"Have fun." She muttered and turned her attention back to her coffee and her phone.

Baby Bro got up from the kitchen island and walked towards her. He looked her in the eye and nodded at the hall. Bee felt her shoulders sag as she followed him. He led her far from the kitchen to the back patio around the far side of the house. Outside. Was it...a precaution? Probably.

He led her over to the hand-crafted couch swing she had installed some time ago when he started to show a preference to lounging outside during parties. They sat in a very awkward silence. Bee hated it, and his Vibes told her how much he didn't like it either. They'd not had a silence between them this bad since after he learned about her and Cerberus' separation.

"...I–"

"I want to apologize." He cut her off. He sat forward and put his elbows on his knees while his hands interlocked between his legs. He stared out at the forests of her Ring. "For how I reacted yesterday. I was...overwhelmed, by what you said and the shit I dealt with yesterday and the day before. I said things that...they were just mean."

"Baby Bro, you know I forgive you for that, right?"

"I said I 'want' to apologize. Not that I am." He glanced at her from the corner of his eyes. His ears folded back — hello, that was a bit of Interest that popped up for a second there! Did that mean-No, Bee don't get too excited. — and he looked away. "Not yet. Not until you explain what the fuck that was about."

Okay. Simple enough. Just explain it like she did to Tex, without the word vomit. And the arguing. Please, please let her avoid the arguing.

"...I was pretty straightforward." Bee wanted to smack herself; that was not how she explained it to Vortex! His Vibes were getting Spicy and his hackles were rising. C'mon, Beelzebub, do better! "I, I mean, I want to have a threesome with you and Pretty Pup because...Baby Bro— Naruto, you beat me."

"...That's it?" He frowned and continued to not look at her. Fuck. He ran his hands over his face. "Okay, well, that explains me, but what about Loona?"

"No, that's not it." She felt her ears fall, she didn't want him to think this was just a power thing. She looked down at her hands as they started to fidget. "You know that most Sins — the concepts, not us — are derived from the first: Pride. They're all connected in a way, and most branched from Gluttony."

"Greed, Lust, and Sloth. Wrath and Envy, like Gluttony, are derivatives of Pride." He nodded and perched his chin on his intertwined hands. "I remember the lesson."

"Then you know that we, that Gluttons, are prone to showing more than just our hunger. Carnal, literal or metaphorical." She offered and he hummed an affirmative. She had to get out of repeating things he knew. Time to revisit some old wounds, this wasn't going to be fun. "...Do you remember Jay-Jay?"

He sat upright and looked at her — his neutral, controlled Vibes shifted through Indignant, Furious, Hurt, Bittersweet, Fear and Sorrow in a cycle and she resisted the urge to gather him in a hug. Jay-Jay was a sore topic for both of them, and they had different reasons for it — and she implored for something to give her a break here.

"How could you even—? Of course I do. What does Jay-Jay have to do with this?"

"She is, was, in part your first exposure to my, um, to what Ozzie and I call Glustony." Bee explained with a small smile. He furrowed his brow and she held a hand up almost dismissively. "TL;DR? It's when I get the hots for someone really fucking bad. And I'm talking, like, really bad. So bad, I don't even think about parties or making Beelzejuice or even-even my current partner unless someone else brings it up."

"Oh." He blinked and his ears lit up. Hey, a healthy hint of Lust there, that's a good sign — focus, Bee. " Ohh, so whenever you were zoning out during Vibe Lessons back then—?"

"Usually I was thinking about her, yeah." Bee admitted with a nod. He nodded and crossed his arms as his Vibes settled back to their usual, simmering salty sweet state. She looked out at the woods for a moment and smiled slightly as she thought about her old flame, the fun they had the tears they shared, the slightly torn void she left in both her and her Baby Bro's dark hearts. "She, um, she helped me understand a lot about it. I used to think it was just a...a need, a deep need for a fuck. Like a thirst that I needed to quench and her explosive spray was the—"

"Bee, TMI."

"Right." She closed her eyes. Focus. Focus-focus- focus! "Sorry, Baby Bro, I know that she...What she did to you can't be forgiven easily, and I should've just fucking listened when Ozzie tried to tell me about her—"

"Hey," he reached out and held her shoulder. "That was like two hundred years ago, Bee. I don't like thinking about it, but...She's already been dead for so long. There's no reason for me to keep that grudge going."

She almost missed the swift Spicy flare of sheer Hate that his Vibes were dominated by. It was an older, more sour than hot spice that she almost didn't recognize, and it had a hint of bitter Sorrow to it. That was...an older Betrayal. Not the same flavors he had that she attributed to Jay-Jay's drunken mistake. ...It reminded her of the time he talked about the scar on his chest.

"Bee? You were saying something about ...Glust-any?"

" Glustony," she corrected him. "It's partially why I blinded myself to...Why I didn't want to believe that she did that to you."

"You stopped her." He squeezed her shoulder and smiled softly. Gratitude, Relief, a sweet amount of his familial 'Love' (Protect-Care-Support) filled her nose. She smiled back at him and let her wings flutter as he pulled her into a sidelong hug. "She didn't go through with…whatever that was about and you got me. Right?"

"...Right." Her arms slipped around him from behind. "I got you."

"Okay." He rumbled and she buzzed. His Vibes filtered down to his natural Salty-Sweet state of Calm. He huffed in the air around them. "So... Glustony. It's like a... buildup? Of...I'm guessing unquenched Lust?"

"Yes. Yes!" She sighed in relief and rested her head against his shoulder. "Its like fucking edging in reverse, like I don't start anything remotely related to it, and then I think of something that's involved with it and my whole power and body wants the release so fuckin bad. Everything and anything related to it helps, but unless I get to the source it...it doesn't go away and everything about me starts to get affected. From my work and responsibilities to how I act..."

"Like, say, a Matriarch Stare aimed at my girlfriend?" He hedged and she winced. There was a sharp Spice of Irritation and Anger in his growl, but she got it.

"Y-Yeah."

"So, why tell me you want to go for a threesome at all? Why not just...I dunno, ask for a one-nighter?" He furrowed his brow as his Vibes muddled with all sorts of Vibes that told her he didn't like the idea much. She squeezed him in her half-hug.

"Because, like you, I don't like the idea of cheating on my Hound or forcing him to sit out while I get my freak on with someone else. Kind of fucked myself out of a good thing with that, before." She joked and he chuckled. Wordplay was always fun, and hey, he seemed to be doing better talking about that breakup. "And I didn't think you'd like the idea of Vortex having a night with Pretty Pup."

"Not exactly keen on him having anything with her, let alone a fucking night, honestly." He growled in a way that made Bee's ears tingle. The thick, salty, spicy Vibes that filled the air lingered for only a moment. "So, threesome, then? But you said-?"

"He agreed to sit out for this one; we talked about it. I'd be happier if he could come around to really understand why I need this, and be okay with it, but..." Bee sighed. "He's a Hellhound. They're...Pretty base."

"No shit." He huffed. His Vibes mingled into a confused blurb. "The Glustony compels you, huh? That's the only reason?"

"No, it's just a big part of it." Bee rubbed her cheek into his shoulder. "I want you and Pretty Pup to have a good first threesome experience. Yeah, it's not what you'd normally expect from a sister, but I don't want you to have the same issues I've had with multiple partners. And plus, I wasn't kidding, Baby Bro. All those times I offered a romp in the sheets? ...You grew up into a real fuckin' catch. And your dick? If it's bigger than it was in the pic you gave me like I think it is... Even if we were blood, I'd be offering you a taste of my honeypot."

"Uh... Thanks?"

"...Incest is that weird to you, huh?"

"Not really. It's... I just...You're... Bee." Baby Bro hugged her tighter and rubbed the bottom of his chin into her head. A gentle rumble resonated from his throat and chest. His sweet Vibes, the ones he aimed at her when he was feeling cuddly when he was younger, filled her tank and made her moist. That moist feeling increased when he planted a kiss on her head. Fuck, her Baby Bro was too fucking sweet sometimes. "I love you. You're my big sis, and nothing will ever change that. I would do anything to help you."

"...Except fuck me, right?"

"I didn't say that, I just...I need it to mean something, y'know?" She pulled away from him and gave him a look. What the fuck was he talking about? Like, lovemaking? Because that was reserved for Vortex, or Cerberus and others like them. Her partners. Not that she wouldn't take Baby Bro as one maybe later down the line; but right now she was happy with Vortex and reserved that for him. "Like, if you were just asking me for a fuck just because, then I'd say no. But this sounds like it could become, has become a serious issue."

"I mean...Yeah. You're not wrong." She laughed mirthlessly and sighed. "Tex and I already fought about it."

"Seriously?" Baby Bro asked, blue eyes wide. He leaned back in the swing and looked up. "Huh. Good for him."

"Wha— Baby Bro!" She pulled away and socked him in his side. He chuckled at the blow and scooted away before she could follow through, not that she planned to.

"What? Vore-Tex doesn't stand up to you enough. Not like Cerberus or Jay-Jay did." He pursed his lips and his Vibes turned a smidge playful, if dark. "Granted, I would hope he doesn't try to abduct me in a drunken attempt to impress you or something..."

"I thought you said you forgave Jay-Jay?"

"I said I don't feel the need to hold a grudge, not that I forgave her." He countered with a frown as he crossed his leg and leaned on the swing couch. His tail, long orange bottle brush that he finally grew into, whipped about behind him for a second. "I just wish I could've found out why she did it. What the end goal was."

She wanted you. She loved me so much she wanted to be me, but when she realized she couldn't do that, couldn't take my spot as a Sin, she wanted to take you. Bee thought with a small growl.

Jay-Jay was...a complicated Hound. Obsessed to the point past idelation, a party girl through and through, and a really fun roll in the sack. Again, though, she was obsessed with Bee. And her Baby Bro, to a degree. But she was taken care of. Gone. Dead. Part of Bee mourned her, and part was happy to see her go. Jay-Jay was beautiful like a rose, but she had a lot of hidden thorns.

"Bee?" His hand was back on her shoulder and his Vibes soured with Concern, Regret, and a smidge of Anger that was directed inwards. She looked up at his furrowed brow. His nostrils flared — aw, he was checking her Vibes. She really did raise him right — and his eyes flicked between hers. "You okay?"

"Yeah, Baby Bro, I'm...I'm good." She sighed and smiled at him. His cute face, sweet Vibes and what she knew was a long hard— She felt her wings twitch. "Um. What-what were we talking about?"

"Why you wanted a threesome with me and my girlfriend. And, I mean, it's going to be...not weird, but definitely odd." He shrugged as he leaned back, hand now draped on the back of the couch. Right that's what they were— wait, did he just agree to it? Bee felt her eyes go wide and her wings buzz while her Baby Bro kept his burning ears folded back and his gaze back at the foliage around their home. "Just, y'know, try to keep it from getting too weird. And…about last night. I'm sorry."

"Baby Bro, fuck that, it's whatever!" She was in his lap and her hands on his shoulders, her nose inches from his as she stared him in the eye. "Are you saying we're gonna—?"

"I'm saying now that I know why, I'm more willing to. We need to talk to Loon first— Bee !" He yelped as she hauled him from the bench back into their manor.

"Baby Bro, we've got no time to waste! C'mon, c'mon, c'mon!"

"Ow, fuck, Bee that's my arm! I've only got two of those-!"

"No you don't, you have spares! I've seen them!"

"The fuck I do!"

Shadows were a precarious and malleable thing. Like grains of sand, they were useless when alone, but when there was little light and the nightmares were free to creep in, well...pretty self explanatory all things considered. It was after the Uchiha's blunder that he went back to the Leaf, to help them prepare for the wrath of that creature, that darkness incarnate. It was after the first wave of evil came that he was forced into his Slumber. He was the first to awaken in the place now called Hell, and like any natural born shinobi, he used that to his advantage.

He traded, for the most part, his sand for shadows. His bane and curse, gone and lost when the Slumber took them, and he mourned it like he mourned his siblings. Like he mourned his friends. Like he mourned Uzumaki Naruto.

But that was then. Mephistopheles had recovered from that trifling time and soon rose through the ranks of the Underworld and then Hell as a force to be reckoned with. Very few dared to cross his path, and fewer still dared challenge him. Those that did often didn't make it to the next cycle, if not the next hour.

Lucifer was one of the few to surprise him, and true to his name, the Morningstar brought his light. A simple thing to counter, this manifestation of 'God's light, this mirror of belief. He had seen true light, oh yes. Mephistopheles knew how bright a star could burn.

He also knew that when it was snuffed out, the shadows were stronger. That was Lucifer's failure; ill prepared, unaccepting of critique, and so full of hubris it bled from him. It wasn't an easy fight, but it wasn't Mephistopheles' most difficult battle. Not even by a long shot.

No, that may very well be the clash he sought today.

The King of Magic strolled through the alcoves of Hell until he came across a cavern where faint arguing could be heard. He smiled and strolled in. The arguments ceased at the hiss of the 'leader', and a steady growl began to quake the very foundations of the Underworld.

"Cerberus."

" Mephistopheles." The left-most head, from his position, snarled.

"You aren't welcome here anymore." The right-most head growled. The center narrowed his good eye, but remained quiet. The ancient demon smiled at them.

"How would you like your eye back? New and improved? Maybe even a way to split up your efforts, live separately for a short time. Free of charge, save a small, little, favor."

"..." Cerberus rose from the simple seat he had set in front of a makeshift fire. The three heads growled and their hackles rose. He chuckled, he'd expected as much.

"No? Very well." He dropped his cloak to the ground and rolled his neck from one side to the next. "Then, shall we begin with fisticuffs or shall we try a bit of name calling?"

"""We're going to kill you for what you did."""

Oof, a united front! It was rare for the three heads to agree to something so swiftly.

"You'll have to be much more specific," Mephistopheles said with a wide smile as he rocked his hips from one side to the next. "I've done so many things to so many people."

"Enough, chit-chat. Let's just kill the Bastard."

" Agreed."

"Yeah, I want a new chew toy."

"Boys, boys, boys…You'll make me blush." The redheaded demon chuckled as the fire started to dim. His eyes glowed bright green as the firelight disappeared. Hound of Hell snarled and threw themselves at him. He chuckled and disappeared into his ultimate shield.

"After all…" his voice echoed in the darkness. "There's more than enough of me to go around."

AN: Whoo-hoo! Threesome on the port bow…and a foursome off the Poop Deck! Sounds like a grand time doesn't it Steve? ..Steve?

You little — Those cookies are not for you!

Dammit.

Remember, it's just Fucking Fan-Fiction.