Despite the horrific nature of the Forbidden Woods, their winding hideousness, I found myself almost whimsical in my progress through it: more than in Yharnam, I felt like a hunter. Or, perhaps hunter isn't the right term. I felt like the protagonist in a Verne-era novel, carving through overgrown territory and ancient horrors to find treasure long forgotten by the native populace. My progress was slow and methodical, but instead of hacking through underbrush with a machete I was prodding gigantic serpents with my saw spear.
Step by step, progress measured in inches or feet at best, I pushed through the Woods. The smaller snake balls (snonuts, I joked to myself) slither-rolled smoothly like sidewinders to flank me in numbers. It would have worked if I didn't have the saw cleaver as a backup weapon. Deploying both at once, I was a blender. However, the creatures weren't stupid. Possessing a cunning greater than I'd have expected from non-pack hunters, the little ones kept me occupied so two snake kings could rain venom shots down from the hills on either side of the path.
Much as in Yharnam proper, a hunter's greatest survival tool was mobility. To stand still is to die. Breaking the "ranks" of the snonuts, I juked out of the line of fire. I once read that our brains are constantly doing calculus, analyzing distance and vectors and proportionality. I put all of that to work, bolting up the sloped hill to circle around the snake to my right – I didn't know which compass direction I was facing, but mentally I labeled that one as the eastern snake king. My long legs pistoned, knees rising up to my chest as I mantled the hill and hooked around a scraggly tree just in time for the western snake to launch a venom ball. The toxin splattered against the tree, and then I doubled back to use another side of the tree for cover from the eastern snake.
There just weren't enough trees up here to successfully zigzag toward the snake king, especially considering that the few which were there would mostly put me in biting range. I didn't relish this, since the beast could likely swallow me. However, one of the enormous memorial stones that Gehrman had mentioned was further up the hill, perched on the crest. I bolted for it, rolling right and then left to avoid the venom shots that chased me. Upon arriving at my destination, "enormous" didn't do it justice. This slab of stone was at least a foot thick, thicker still at the base, and extended up some fifteen feet. Venom splattered harmlessly on the other side and I, using the stone as a bunker, leaned around the side and fired at the eastern snake with my new cannon.
As expected, the monster didn't appreciate its ranged attacks being reciprocated and immediately began winding its way toward me with a disgusting slick-meaty sound. I once again drew the cleaver in my off hand, pressing my back against the stone and listening. Just before the creature could round the slab, I leapt out in a frenzy of blades. I charged around the snake king's right side, since it curled to its left and thus couldn't chase me as easily to the right. My cleaver and spear carved into its hide, I stomped on the head of a lesser snake, and then I leapt.
Thankfully, I'd calculated perfectly. The creature spun to its left in the hope of biting me, putting its head almost exactly in the path of my weapons. I only had to alter my trajectory a skosh to drive my blades through its skull. I levered my hafts outward to scramble its brains, then violently wrenched my saws free as the abomination collapsed into mist. Another vermin crushed and I juked back to avoid the next shot of venom.
Without its counterpart, the western snake was much easier to bring down. As I hacked at it, I wondered about the growths dotting the backs of the largest serpents within the snake king. Oddly, they reminded me of eggs. I knew that some frog species would carry their eggs on their backs, but I'd never heard of a snake doing the same. I might ask Valtr about it, or maybe Gehrman, though he'd confessed to spending little time in the Woods.
(BREAK)
The Woods wound deeper and lower. A blood-soaked crevice in the earth housed at least four of those snake kings, and I resolved that discretion was the better part of valor. Sticking to the path, I found myself descending a slope into a more gentle and welcoming area. Plants that resembled the flowers in the Dream waved in a gentle breeze, and luminous growths from the trees bathed the area in a gentle turquoise light. Like in the narrow lake, several trees came together like a banyan to form a basin of roots, and long grass grew in that basin.
It was beautiful, the first peaceful sight I'd encountered in this godforsaken place. I tugged down my face cover and, not smelling any beasts – only moonlight and some exotic scents – I holstered my weapons. I could do with a rest. I sat on a root and looked toward the sky, barely able to make out stars and the buttermilk-yellow moon through the thick canopy.
A sloshing noise made my head snap down, and I had to bite my finger to keep from screaming or sobbing. A creature rose from the grass, where it had presumably been resting. The sloshing head, the starry skin...this was what Iosefka had been turned into! Then more rose up, probably six in all. I heard footsteps splashing through the nearby water, and more of them were coming – at least a dozen in total! These ones didn't radiate the sorrow and kindness that the mutated Iosefka had, however. They approached, hunched forward, fingers curled into claws.
I stood, backing off, and at last found my voice. "I-I'm not here to cause trouble," I stated gently. "I just wanted to rest. I apologize for disturbing you."
Two near the back straightened up and strange tentacles emerged from pores in their heads, like anemone polyps bursting forth. Energy glowed high above them and stars rained down toward me! Thankfully I managed to leap aside but the concussive force still shook me: had those hit me head-on, I'd be dead. And, while that wasn't much more than an inconvenience for me, it would still set me back and force me to fight my way through all the damn snakes again.
The creatures continued to advance on me even though I'd made no aggressive motions and had only backed away. "Alright, fuck it." I unslung the cannon and fired into the center of the crowd, toppling most. My saw spear came out and snapped to full extension, legs carrying me through the throng to reach the tentacle-headed ones. One died immediately as I drove my spear through its head, while I grabbed the other by a tentacle and hurled it into its fellows. Quickly drawing the cannon again, I fired a follow-up shot and destroyed it while ravaging the creatures it had knocked flat. I stalked toward the survivors, but they scrambled to their deformed feet and bobbled away in a panic.
I sighed heavily. I couldn't bring myself to hunt them down, not when they looked so much like Iosefka. Most likely they were experiments too, vengeful toward those who were still human. I couldn't exactly blame them, but neither would I roll over and let them kill me. If something came at me with lethal intent, it would die.
Not wanting to instigate another fight with the things, I doubled back and took another branch of the path. Another slog of slow, incremental progress followed. I cut down more snake-infested huntsmen and a few more snake kings along the path, then heard some heavy thuds. Rapid footsteps, certainly, but they didn't sound right. Coming up the slope was an enormous pig, a beast I hadn't seen since Yharnam's sewer system. The creature let out a squealing roar and began to charge me the moment it saw me.
I met its charge with my own, at the last moment dropping into a baseball slide to the right. I slipped beneath its upraised forelegs mid-gallop and hacked at its back leg with the saw spear, one of the teeth catching on the beast's hoof and tearing into it. I left the monster slightly hobbled as I stood, watching it limp when it turned to face me. A creature that fat needed all of its limbs to support its mass, and with one hindered… I swapped to the saw cleaver and met its next, slower, charge. I leapt left, using my empty left hand to grab onto the tumorous growths on the monster's back as I carved a Glasgow smile into the boar. My cleaver cut into its jaw and slices through the mandible, causing its mouth to drop helplessly slack. The boar tried to roll over onto me and I used its momentum, scrambling to its left side and digging my cleaver into the back of its leg. I hacked its kneecap off, shearing through the joint. With both legs and its jaw crippled, the thing was no threat, squirming helplessly on its back.
While I could say the blood echoes were nice, the reason I finished killing the thing was because I felt bad for it. It didn't deserve to suffer. I drew my saw spear and drove it through the pig's throat, bleeding it until it slowed, as I worked in to sever its spine.
Descending the slope from whence the boar had come, I found another narrow lake, pond, something. Two more boars roamed, and there was little chance I could handle both at once. Stepping as gingerly as possible, I snuck up behind one as it patrolled. I didn't know about pigs' sense of hearing or smell, but apparently it wasn't that impressive since it was unaware of me. I wound up, concentrating my strength, and thrust into its quadricep. The thing let out a squeal of surprise and agony, and fell to the ground as its leg gave out. Before it could right itself, on instinct I formed a claw and drove it into the soft flesh. I shredded the meat within the boar, tearing out a gout of blood and viscera. It began to rise again, but it didn't take much more abuse to kill the thing.
The third I couldn't ambush, and it was essentially a repeat of my first encounter.
(BREAK)
From this little finger-lake, I followed the broadest path up a slope toward the Graveyard of the Great Ones. Even before I crested the hill, I knew this to be the case. Enormous gravestones rose from the earth, some of them stories tall, jutting at odd angles. The smatterings of water continued here, puddles covering the rocky ground, some shallow areas revealing a collection of bones. Skulls, ribcages, various limbs...there must have been dozens of corpses here.
Ahead of me was a massive stone wall and archway, and as I watched, the door carved into the archway filled with mist. I glanced behind me and, sure enough, mist blocked my exit. There was something here, something dangerous.
Emerging from the darkness, as if manifested from the cloying shadows, was a trio of figures. All of them wore long black robes that concealed their features, but they moved with a slow purposefulness and calm confidence. The one in the lead carried an enormous katana, long and narrow, so big it required two hands. Behind him on his left, the robed figure carried a candle in his right hand and a smaller katana in his left. The third carried a simple round-headed mace in his right hand, but his left was raised threateningly.
I doubted that diplomacy would be of any use, but I could at least try while I got a handle on my surroundings. There was an avenue to my right that looked as though it looped around, circling one of the biggest gravestones. I could use that to break line of sight… "I'm not here for a fight," I spoke. "I'm only here for Byrgenwerth, so I can learn how to leave this city. I don't want any of the secrets therein. I'm not a grave robber: I want to not be here anymore."
The lead figure lunged and I barely parried with my saw spear. The spear would likely catch on those robes. I shot the creature with Evelyn just to buy some space as I swapped to my cleaver. The one with the mace gestured with his left hand and sent several motes of flame my way, tiny fireballs hurtling toward me! I juked back and then bent sharply at the side to avoid Sword's swing. Candle wheeled around to flank me, making prodding slashes with his sword, then held his candle to (presumably) where his mouth was: somehow he breathed out a stream of flame! I couldn't withhold the shriek of pain as the fire licked at my arm.
A skull shattered beneath my boot as I sprang away, launching backward toward the tombstone I'd noted before. I mockingly beckoned Sword, who met my challenge and practically glided along the ground. Hopefully I could use his body as cover from his fellows: ready to dodge to the right behind the stone, I met his blade with my far more unwieldy weapon, sparks thrown up from the clash. His leverage was superior for fast strikes, and the blade came down toward my fingers. However, he'd over-committed in an attempt to end the fight early. I shot him in the chest with Evelyn and made him stagger, which gave me the chance to drive a claw through his ribs. I booted him in the gut as I wrested my claw free, sending him sprawling, and then I had to dive aside to avoid another storm of fireballs.
Candle gave chase, already spewing fire as he turned the corner around the stone slab. I pulled away from the flame stream but that only left my back exposed for Sword to cleave me open. I grunted in pain and quickly put my hands to work: with my right I injected a blood vial, while my left grabbed a Molotov from my pack and hurled it back into Sword. After a split-second for the conflagration to die down, I threw myself backward and slammed my back into Sword to briefly bear him to the ground. I rolled to my feet, purposely kicking off from his chest to help keep him down, and rushed toward Mace. With Sword on his back and Candle too far away, I had a clean shot to this damn pyromancer.
I slid under another cascade of fireballs, springing up to swing my cleaver. Mace tried his best to deflect, but he was no melee expert. I grabbed the haft of his weapon and wrenched it aside, bringing the cleaver down into his collarbone. I planted a knee into his gut and rode him to the ground, driving my glaive into him again and again. Blood erupted from beneath his hood, but not like would be expected in some gory cartoon: serpents lashed out at me, biting through my coat and injecting their venom! This sorcerer was infested as well!?
I wasn't about to give up this advantage: I used my left hand to draw and pop an antidote pill, ignoring the damage that Mace's snakes and weapon did to me. I restored the wounds with every new gouge I opened in him, until at last he went still.
I somersaulted forward and twisted to face my remaining opponents, who convulsed as they erupted with serpents as well. Snakes undulated from Candle's belly and Sword's face, and coiled around their weapons. Candle held up his blade and exhaled flaming venom to ignite the katana.
If anything, the remaining two were even more aggressive now. Their snake-wrapped weapons lashed out like whips, meaning that I couldn't keep my distance. Despite the threat that Candle's fire posed, I marked Sword as the most immediate danger due to his sheer reach. Charging forward, I successfully predicted when he'd launch his blade and I caught the snake-tentacle with my cleaver, forcing it to yank back to preserve its grip on the weapon. It still cut into my shoulder, but only a shallow divot. Whatever these things were, at least their robes would burn. My left hand flicked into my pouch, retrieving a sheet of fire paper, and I ignited my cleaver before catching Sword in the side with it. His robe began to catch fire and I shoulder-checked him in the chest, taking a few snakebites for my trouble. I whirled just in time to deflect a strike from Candle and drew Evelyn to shoot him, though it didn't give me a chance to run him through.
Sword and Candle set up on opposite sides of me, spaced perfectly so as not to strike each other on a miss. They were definitely used to team fighting. Unfortunately for them, I was used to being ganged-up on, and now I had the means to fight back. I lunged toward Sword, taking a cut to the back from Candle, but I got inside Sword's reach. Before he could adjust his stance or pull back, I caught him by the snakes. They bit into my wrist, and their poison burned, but he was mine. The cleaver collapsed and I drove the saw into his armpit, wrenching forcefully back and forth. His blood spilled forth and revitalized me, until his left arm came off. Sword half-sworded his weapon, clutching the blade so he could drive it into my side, but I'd already won this exchange. Like with Mace, I bore him to the ground, and this time the saw came to his throat. A few good swipes and I'd decapitated him, hurling the snake-mouthed head aside.
Candle knelt down and began chanting in a language I couldn't recognize. A pale red light encircled him, water rising up in droplets like a reverse rain. I could feel something beneath my feet, something foreign and malicious. I leapt aside just in time for a bizarre portal to open and a colossal snake head the size of a bus to erupt from the ground, snapping its jaws where I'd just been before sinking back down and vanishing.
My silence broke. "Okay, fuck this." I could see the same energy reverberating out like the shockwaves from water droplets. I raced past the various rings, as more colossal snakes erupted to attack whatever might be unlucky enough to be above them. I'd felt the pressure, the increasing malice before the snake struck. Could I feel that from a distance? As I dodged around the various snake traps, I believed the answer was yes. That told me what to do next: I got to Candle just as he stood and brandished his weapons again. My own weapons were sheathed, and I grabbed him by the robes. He cut into me with his burning sword, but I cared little. Whirling, I hurled him toward what I expected would be the next snake strike. My aim was true, and either my calculations were correct or the presence of a living being triggered the trap, because I got to see that same colossal boa or whatever erupt from the ground and swallow the robed man whole.
Immediately I felt the pressure in the area dissipate. The malicious energy, without an anchor to sustain it, dissolved and I watched the mist dissolve.
Through the gate ahead, I could see more sad trees, these ones a mix of evergreen and deciduous. And looming above all was the domed roof of what I could only presume was Byrgenwerth.