When his actual appointment with Dr. Keen came around, Jack had a lot on his mind that he was sure her insight would help him with. Well, maybe. Jack waited until Dr. Keen climbed the rail in the medbay and he leaned back against the wall to get comfortable.
"How have you been doing? Did you have a good time on Cybertron with the others?"
Jack raised an optic ridge. Does everyone think I went with them? "I didn't go, actually. Aside from the incident with Miko, I really don't know whether to go back."
Dr. Keen nodded. "I see. And can you explain why?"
"Are you serious?" Jack straightened up. "Shockwave is still on Cybertron, probably coming up with another plan to kidnap and rape me." His mouth twisted, and he vented harshly. "I can't risk everyone getting distracted because they feel like they have to watch me twenty-four-seven. I've felt like that, it's not great."
"You do trust that they'll protect you though, correct?" Dr. Keen asked. Reluctantly, Jack nodded. "Your concern is valid, and I know it can't be easy living with that knowledge, but don't you also trust the Autobots will value the need for distance? I'm not saying you need to go, just take it as a suggestion; let the Autobots handle Shockwave and don't let him stop you from living, from experiencing all your life has to offer now."
Jack stared at her. He'd known Dr. Keen likely couldn't understand his situation, but just as much he appreciated how hard she tried. Except for the Dinobots, I don't think anyone knows what being turned into something against their will is like. And Jack wasn't ready to try having a heart to heart with them-they made Bulkhead and Wheeljack seem tame by comparison.
"I'll...think about it." And he would, because he was tired of giving Shockwave even a moment of thought. Jack's sincerest wish was to see his charred corpse and be free of him forever. Though he wasn't going to tell his therapist that. "Can we talk about something else?"
Without missing a beat, Dr. Keen switched tracks. She clapped her hands, and leaned her elbows on the rail. "Alright, how are things with the bots here? Anything new happening with the other Predacons? Are you getting along?"
Jack snorted. "Oh, Miko and Cinder are practically best friends at this point." To the irritation of everyone else. "Ratchet's...Ratchet. Grimwing is doing well," here he paused and smiled a little, "and Ultra Magnus isn't as stern as I thought. He's...actually pretty okay."
"Is that so? From what I've seen of him, he appears quite stoic. Why, the first time I arrived, he drilled me for my credentials and asked me so many questions he only let me through once I made it clear I was going to be late for our appointment." Dr. Keen said.
Honestly, that didn't surprise Jack at all. "He likes his protocol." he said dryly. His smile widened a bit more. "I actually like it; he's the one thing I can count on to be stable." It also helped once he realized the mech's lapse in their spar, things really had been improving. "Though I can't be sure he likes me back yet."
Dr. Keen's brows rose, a sly smile on her lips. "Oh? You have your eye on someone I take it?"
Jack's optics widened. His cheeks turned a deep shade of blue. "I meant professionally. Things were rocky because me being a Predacon, that's all I meant by it."
The woman nodded slowly. "I see. Well, any kind of positive relationship is healthy. It doesn't matter what kind; friendship and romance can be equally important."
Jack tried not to grimace. It wasn't because he thought less of the words, but that he was still too uncertain about even thinking of romance. "I'll just stick to working on my friendships, thanks."
"Though speaking of romance, I've heard your mother and Agent Fowler are spending quite a bit of time together."
Jack did grimace then. "Yeah, I am definitely not talking about this. Moving on."
The woman chuckled, but did as asked.
Jack didn't know how long he'd been drifting through the halls, absently watching where he stepped. It still weighed on him what Dr. Keen said, two weeks later. He was also still a bit empty-headed from the longer than usual recharge and his systems were lagging to catch up. It's what made the fact the red and blue mech signing out his energon all the more surprising than the common occurrence it was.
"Jack." The mech nodded.
Jack nodded back and signed out his rations. "How is Cybertron doing?" From Smokescreen's last call during everyone's trip, he'd bemoaned Ultra Magnus' protocol chaffing his enjoyment. "I take it you've given Optimus your charter?"
"Yes, though he ended up changing several of them. I thought they were quite sensible, but Optimus has final say." Ultra Magnus said.
Jack wasn't sure, but the mech almost looked sullen about it. He stifled his smile. "I guess not everyone appreciates good protocol."
"Exactly." The mech glanced at his cube, before his stern expression turned back to Jack. "I brought you an assortment of additives to try for your energon."
Jack's optics widened. "You...got me a gift? You didn't have to do that."
"It is not a gift," Ultra Magnus said calmly, "I am merely helping you accumulate to the energon. No gift requires a datapads worth of explaining that it is not for an experiment."
Jack decided not to tell him this was like an experiment. Taste testing for his preference should count as one. "Still, thank you. It must not have been easy to get."
The red and blue mech only nodded. "I will bring the additives to the medbay once I am finished with supervising Miko's training."
"She's resuming her training?" Jack asked. "At least she'll stop complaining about it."
"Yes, she's been quite loud about her displeasure. Perhaps the discipline is what she needs." Ultra Magnus replied.
Jack chuckled. Might as well just send her to a boot camp, he thought, but knew no camp would ever contain Miko. They'd likely kick her out after a week. Jack wanted to ask about his own training, but decided not to. He wasn't exactly sorry not to resume it. Call it caution, but Jack didn't want to ruin things with another sparring mishap.
Didn't want to ruin this warm feeling that swelled up in his spark.
When Ratchet found Jack in the medbay, humming as he eyed the vials of strange additives, the medic scowled. "You'd better not make a mess."
Jack huffed. "Of course I'm not going to!" his optics narrowed on one vial of silver grated gears like tiny rocks. On the nose, but it was the closest translation the red and blue mech gave him. Another held a greenish glowing substance that made Jack wary to taste; lead sulfide crystals didn't sound appetizing. The last was of purple iron fillings, which seemed an odd name considering it didn't look like iron.
"Do you even know what those are?" Ratchet asked as he went about cleaning up his work station.
Jack grimaced. "Ultra Magnus gave me a datapad which explains each. It's very thorough. Even which one would make the energon sour." Unsurprisingly, it was the lead sulfide.
"I know, he got Perceptor to make that list." Ratchet said grumpily.
Jack furrowed his ridges. "Who's Perceptor?"
"Wrecker scientist that returned planet side recently. He's been working on the energon consumption for the space bridge." Ratchet replied.
It took a moment for Jack to recognize that 'Wrecker' and 'scientist' were in one sentence. "Really? I always thought the Wreckers, well, wrecked stuff."
Ratchet released a huff of his own. "Please, not all of them are like Bulkhead and Wheeljack."
"Kind of funny, since Ultra Magnus made it seem like that's exactly what the Wreckers were like, especially when they got drunk." Jack said.
Ratchet froze, his fingers clenched tight around a welder. His expression was unreadable when he looked at Jack, but his optics were cycling rapidly. "And since when did you two get so chummy?"
Jack vented slowly. Things were better, but Jack wasn't sure he'd call them 'chummy' just yet. "I'd like to think we're learning to get along, but we're not at 'friendly' just yet."
Ratchet snorted, but glanced up when the console began to beep. He didn't sound any better when the mech who appeared on the screen was Smokescreen. "What do you want? I have no time for your prattling."
Smokescreen rolled his optics. "Yeah, 'cause I'm sooo happy to see you to." Then his optics flickered to Jack, and his expression brightened. "Hey, Jack!"
"Smokescreen," Jack nodded, "how have you been?"
"I don't know how things can be so boring, but now that Ultra Magnus' rules are implemented, everyone's stopped their racing and having fun." Smokescreen grimaced. "I wish you were here. That'd make it so much better. Speaking of which, when do you think you'll be coming over?"
"Will you quit yammering on about that?" Ratchet demanded. "Not everyone needs to be constantly subjected to your over-the-top pining all the fragging time."
Jack's optic ridge rose, and the confusion grew when Smokescreen flushed deeply. "What are you talking about, Ratch?"
Smokescreen sputtered, trying to eek out an excuse but Ratchet bluntly said, "Smokescreen is not subtle. Every time we go to Cybertron, he's always complaining you're not with us and he's always talking about you and how much he misses you."
"That's not true!" Smokescreen finally got out, his door wings held high. "Well, yeah I miss talking to you in person, but all that other stuff Ratchet said is a lie! Old bot's gone senile, we'd knew it'd have to happen eventually."
Ratchet scowled at the screen. "And you've come down with a case of being an idiot!"
Jack shook his head. "Ratchet, I'll handle this. I don't want you blow a gasket or something."
"Please." Ratchet scoffed, but gruffly waved it off. "Fine, you deal with this, I have no patience for young bots and their nonsense."
"Hey!" Smokescreen retorted, but Ratchet had already made for the hall. His expression became tinged with nervousness when he glanced at Jack. "About that-"
Jack held his up his servo, and the mech went silent but still blushing. "Let's start with why Ratchet thinks you have a crush on me."
Smokescreen's mouth tightened, before his doorwings drooped. "Because I do." he whispered. Jack stiffened. "Ever since you forgave me, it's just been growing. I can't even tell you when it started, just that I'm so happy when I get to see you and talk to you and-and I know it wouldn't have been fair to bring it up. You went through so much the last time you were here; I just didn't want to add more to all the slag that happened."
Jack absorbed the information for a long time, long enough that Smokescreen began to fidget and his doorwings twitched. "Thank you for being honest." he said, and he was at least sincere about that. Smokescreen smiled, but didn't reach his optics-he probably heard the 'but' in there. "I value your friendship, but I don't think it could work. I..." he trailed off, and the realization came slowly, surprising even himself, "I think I may like someone already."
Smokescreen blinked slowly, and he grimaced for a moment. Then it was gone, and he nodded. "Alright," he said, his voice faltering just a little, "and I really do hope you're happy." He smiled, sad yet wry. "Can I least rub it in Knock Out's smug face?"
Jack snorted despite himself. "No, you may not. I don't want him or Predaking to learn about this." Not now or ever, and certainly not when he was still trying to figure it out himself.
"Can...I ask who it is then?" Smokescreen grimaced. "It's not Ratchet, is it?"
Jack shook his head. "It's not him, but I'm not telling you either. I...still got some things to work through."
Smokescreen looked put out, but he nodded again. "Does this mean we can't keep having these chats?"
"Why would that need to change? We're still friends, aren't we?"
The mech's doorwings hitched as surprise flashed across his faceplate. "Of course! I just thought-you know what, never mind. I'm not going to ruin this. I'm just going to end the call now and not make this even more awkward."
"I'll speak to you soon then." Jack said, and Smokescreen ended the call. Venting, the wolf Predacon sat back against the wall, and glanced at his vials of energon additives. He almost couldn't believe he'd went from 'mind-blowing revelation' to 'I think I like someone' all within one conversation.
Though it's not like those were mutually exclusive. One did lead to the other, in a train wreck sort of way.
Jack vented deeply. He didn't like that he admitted something he wasn't even certain of. Sure, all the things he'd told Smokescreen were true, except for...well, that part. So what if he'd started to smile more when Ultra Magnus was around, or how his day got a little bit brighter when they'd talk or-
Jack's optics widened the realization struck hard. I do have a crush on him. Damnit.