JJ

You ever have that feeling like you're falling, but there's no ground to hit? That's been my life for as long as I can remember. Falling and falling, and somehow, I never hit bottom. Maybe that's why I keep pushing the limits — picking fights, getting into trouble. Better to make a mess of things than let the world do it for me.

John B's been my constant through all of it, though. We've been through more shit together than most people could handle in a lifetime. He's the one person who's always had my back, no questions asked. But lately, things are different. He's different.

It started with Big John going missing, and I get it. I do. If my old man disappeared, I'd be messed up too—not that I'd be looking for him, though. Luke Maybank could vanish off the face of the earth, and it'd be the best day of my life. But John B... he can't let it go. He's got this idea that Big John is out there somewhere, and I'm supposed to help him find him. And I want to, but it's hard when I'm barely holding my own shit together.

Then Sarah Cameron happened. The golden girl from the other side of the island. I tried to warn John B, but who was I kidding? He was gone the minute he laid eyes on her. And now it's like everything revolves around Sarah, and I'm just... there. The sidekick, the backup plan.

But I'm not bitter. At least, that's what I tell myself.

The truth is, I don't know where I fit in anymore. John B's chasing this dream of finding his dad, and he's got Sarah by his side. Kie's got her own thing going on, and Pope... well, Pope's always been the smart one, destined for bigger things. Then there's me, stuck in this endless cycle of trying to survive another day with Luke.

I hate it. I hate that I'm still here, still living in that damn house, still dealing with Luke's bullshit. But I don't have a choice. The thought of leaving has crossed my mind more times than I can count, but where would I go? John B's got his own problems, and I'm not about to be another one.

So I do what I do best: I push it all down, deep enough that I don't have to feel it. I throw myself into whatever crazy scheme John B cooks up, even if it's chasing some pipe dream of a treasure that's probably not even real. Because if I'm busy, I don't have to think about Luke or the fact that I'm drowning.

Today was supposed to be one of those busy days, out on the water with John B, trying to track down some clue that'll lead us to Big John. But instead, I ended up at the wreck yard, fixing up the Twinkie. The old VW van's been through hell and back, kinda like us. It's held together with duct tape and prayers, but somehow, it keeps going. Just like me.

I'm tightening a bolt under the hood when I hear the crunch of gravel behind me. I know it's Kie before she even says anything. There's a softness to her footsteps, like she's walking on eggshells. She's been doing that a lot around me lately, ever since she found out about Luke.

"Hey, JJ," she says, her voice gentle, too gentle. I hate it when people talk to me like that, like I'm some wounded animal they're afraid to touch. But it's Kie, so I let it slide.

"Hey," I mumble, not looking up from the engine. I know if I do, I'll see that look in her eyes—the one that makes me feel like a charity case. And I can't deal with that right now.

She leans against the van, her fingers tracing the rusty metal. "You okay?"

I force a laugh, the sound harsh even to my own ears. "Since when have I ever been okay?"

She doesn't laugh. Instead, she reaches out, her hand resting on my arm. "You know you can talk to me, right?"

There it is — the pity. I yank my arm away, pretending to adjust something on the engine. "I'm good, Kie. Just trying to keep this piece of junk running."

She doesn't push it, but I can feel her eyes on me, watching, waiting. It's suffocating, but at the same time, it's... comforting. Like maybe someone actually gives a damn. But I can't let myself go there. Not with Kie. Not with anyone.

"So, where's John B?" I ask, changing the subject. "Thought we were supposed to hit the water today."

Kie sighs, and I know she's disappointed. Probably hoped I'd open up or some crap like that. "He's with Sarah. Something about checking out a lead."

Of course he is. I should've known. "Right. Guess it's just me and the Twinkie then."

"You could come with me," she offers. "I was thinking of hitting the beach, maybe catching some waves."

I glance up at her, finally meeting her eyes. There's no pity now, just Kie being Kie, the one person who can see through all my bullshit. And for a second, I consider it. I think about going with her, forgetting everything for a while, just the two of us out on the water.

But then I hear Luke's voice in my head, telling me I'm worthless, that I don't deserve anything good. And just like that, the moment's gone.

"Nah, I'm good," I say, forcing a smile. "Gotta finish up here."

Kie looks like she wants to argue, but she doesn't. She just nods, giving me that sad smile that makes me want to punch something. "Okay, JJ. But if you change your mind, you know where to find me."

I watch her walk away, that familiar ache settling in my chest. I want to call out to her, tell her to wait, but I don't. Instead, I turn back to the engine, tightening bolts that don't need tightening.

Because it's easier that way. Easier to keep falling and falling, never hitting the ground.

For now, at least.