JOHN B

The sun is blazing high in the sky, its rays bouncing off the water, making everything seem a little too bright, a little too intense. But that's how everything feels these days—dialed up to eleven, like the universe decided to crank the volume on my life and forgot to turn it back down. I should be used to it by now, this constant hum of chaos, but today it's getting to me more than usual.

Sarah's beside me in the boat, her fingers trailing in the water, completely at ease in a way that's always amazed me. She's like this perfect contradiction—so calm and confident, yet she jumped into this crazy mess with me without a second thought. I glance over at her, the wind tossing her hair around her face, and I can't help but smile. Even in the middle of all this, with everything going on, she's my anchor. The one thing that makes sense.

"You're quiet today," she says, her voice soft, almost lost in the sound of the waves lapping against the boat. She's watching me with those eyes that seem to see everything, even the stuff I try to hide.

"Just thinking," I reply, though it's more than that. My mind's been a whirlwind since this morning, trying to piece together the fragments of my life, trying to figure out where we're headed next. I keep telling myself that if I can just find one more clue, just one more lead, everything will start to make sense. But the more I search, the more it feels like I'm running in circles.

"About your dad?" she asks, her voice gentle, but it cuts through me all the same. Sarah's been there for me through everything, but sometimes I wonder if she really understands what it's like to lose someone the way I lost Big John. Or to be so desperate to find them that you're willing to risk everything.

"Yeah," I say, though it's not just that. It's JJ too. I can feel him slipping away, and I don't know how to stop it. We've been through so much together, but lately, it feels like we're on different planets. He's got his own demons, and I'm too caught up in my own mess to help him the way I should.

"He's out there, John B," Sarah says, like she's reading my mind. She always seems to know what I need to hear, even when I don't. "And we're going to find him."

I want to believe her. I really do. But there's a part of me that's starting to doubt, starting to wonder if I'm chasing a ghost. Big John was always larger than life, but what if that's all he was—just a legend? What if I'm wasting my time, dragging everyone else down with me?

I push those thoughts aside, focusing on the horizon instead. "We'll find him," I say, more to convince myself than her. I've got to believe it, because if I don't, what's left? This search is all I have now, the only thing that keeps me going.

Sarah leans in closer, her shoulder brushing against mine, and for a moment, the world doesn't feel so heavy. "We're in this together, okay? No matter what."

I nod, grateful for her in ways I can't even begin to express. But as much as I appreciate Sarah, there's still this gnawing feeling in my gut. The one that keeps telling me I'm letting JJ down, that I'm not being the friend he needs right now.

"You talked to JJ lately?" I ask, trying to sound casual, but Sarah sees right through me.

She sighs, her expression softening. "Not really. He's been... distant."

"Yeah," I say, and that single word carries more weight than I care to admit. JJ's always been the one I could count on, the one who'd dive headfirst into danger with me without a second thought. But now... now he's dealing with Luke, with everything that comes with being a Maybank, and I feel like I'm losing him.

"You're worried about him," Sarah says, and it's not a question. Of course I'm worried. How could I not be? JJ's like my brother, and I've seen what Luke can do to him. I've seen the bruises, the way JJ flinches when someone gets too close. But the worst part is knowing that there's nothing I can do to fix it. I can't save him from his own life, no matter how much I want to.

"Yeah," I admit, and the word hangs in the air between us, heavy and loaded with all the things I can't say. "I just... I don't know how to help him."

Sarah's quiet for a moment, thinking, and I can see the wheels turning in her head. "Maybe you just need to be there for him. Even if he doesn't want to talk, just... be there."

It sounds simple, and maybe it is, but it's easier said than done. JJ's always been the one who holds everything inside, who pretends like nothing can touch him. But I know better. I know he's hurting, even if he won't admit it. And I'm scared—scared that one day, he's going to push too far, and I won't be able to pull him back.

"I'll try," I say, though I'm not sure if that's enough. But it's all I can do, and right now, that has to be enough.

We sit in silence for a while, the boat drifting lazily on the water, the sun sinking lower in the sky. It's peaceful, almost too peaceful, like the calm before a storm. And maybe that's exactly what it is. Maybe we're heading straight into the eye of the hurricane, and none of us are going to come out the other side the same.

But I don't have time to think about that now. There's too much at stake, too much riding on this search for Big John. I can't let myself get distracted, even if it means I have to put my worries about JJ on the back burner for a while.

As the sun dips below the horizon, casting the world in shades of orange and pink, I feel a strange sense of determination settle over me. I may not have all the answers, and I may not know how to fix everything, but I do know one thing: I'm not giving up. Not on my dad, not on this crazy treasure hunt, and definitely not on JJ.

"We'll figure it out," I say, more to myself than to Sarah. "All of it."

She smiles, a small, hopeful smile that makes me believe it might just be possible. "Yeah," she says, "we will."

And for the first time in a long while, I let myself believe it too.