Disclaimers: I do not own Invader Zim

Author's Notes: Have you ever wrote a story and thought to yourself: "This has been done so many times that it will never get any views?" Well, I thought that with this story, and I am happy to say you guys proved me dead wrong. 11,000 views in counting, 116 reviews, 45 favorites and 48 followers! I could not be more amazed, and humbled by how amazingly popular this story has become. It is easily my most popular Fanfic on this site, and I wanted to thank you for that. True I wrote it, but it's you guys and your constant encouragement that brings this story to life.

Shout Outs: So, shout outs to everybody for being the best readers ever!

Now without further a due I give you Chapter 35 where we get back to the original episodes and Zim tries to flirt with Dib. Only Dib is slow on the up take…as usual! Thanks, you guys for reading and please review.

(Back with Zim…)

Monday mornings…

He wasn't exactly sure why Humans hated Mondays. True he understood it was the beginning of the work week for most, and humans hated work. Even still, he wasn't entirely sure why Monday had become such a hated icon. After all, if the work week had started on Tuesday instead, then the humans would start hating Tuesdays, not Monday. Long story short humans were lazy beast that Zim just couldn't understand.

How could such lazy creature last so long, and thrive so much? It was truly an enigma!

"Dib should be here any minute." Zim said as he waited by the door. After coming up with his brilliant new scheme Saturday night. The Irken had exhausted every resource on how to start and maintain a believable relationship. Of course, Gir had plenty of pointers to give, as defective as the bot was at times, Zim couldn't help but notice that the derange SIR unit was quite an expert when it came to romance.

"Can I lick his face again?" Gir asked hopefully.

"No Gir there shall be no face licking today." Zim retorted.

"Awe man." Gir whined, obviously displeased by his master's answer. "Not even a little?"

"No Gir." Zim insisted. "Now go to your room and watch TV!"

"Ok!" Gir exclaimed and headed for the elevator.

"Sir are you sure this is a good idea?" The computer asked the moment they were alone.

"Of course, it is." Zim answered. "I came up with it didn't I?" he asked, obviously offended.

"Sir normally I would never question your plans." The Computer said. "Even one as distasteful as this, but he's doing something to you, and encouraging this kind of behavior could make it worse."

"Relax, you worry too much." Zim hissed. "This child is not effecting me." It was an obvious lie, they both knew it, however before an argument could continue someone began knocking on his front door.

That someone was obviously Dib, who was 30 seconds later than usually, however he was acting as if he had woken a whole hour late. "Miz we have to go, we'll be late!"

Zim smiled as he opened the door to see a bewildered Dib who was looking as good as any Monday would allow. His hair was a static mess, and his clothes were wrinkly, and his shoes looked ready to untie. "Well, someone looks ready to conquer the day." He joked lightly as he joined them in the crisp fall air.

"My alarm didn't go off." Dib reasoned. "Honestly if it was for my natural wake and sleep patterns I would have never woken up at all."

"You sure don't look awake." Zim told him.

"I had like 5 minutes to get ready." Dib reasoned.

"Sounds like plenty of time to me." Zim argued.

"Seriously are you guys going to start arguing again?" Peg asked.

"Yeah just kiss him already and get it over with!" Gaz added giving Dib a wink.

Dib turns scarlet in seconds and Miz laughs.

"Yeah Dib why not just kiss me already?"

That was it, he was going to die on the spot, right here, right now! Dib flipped up the hood of his jacket in the hopes of hiding his face. Seriously, now Miz was resorting to this! Sure, the being a jerk thing was getting old, but why say stuff like that if he didn't like him that way?

Gaz shook her head, why were boys so stupid? Why couldn't they just say how they felt and move on with their lives. "This is why I'm dating you." She told Peg.

Peg smiled. "So, you do like how I'm so honest with my feelings?" She asked with a tease. "I knew it!"

"Guys can we hurry before we're late again?" Dib asked hopefully.

"What's the point?" Miz asked. "We'll get detention either way."

"Yeah I swear at this rate we'll be labeled as the detention club in this year's Year Book for sure." Peg added. "Which means I'll finally get that bad girl reputation I've always wanted."

"The day you become a bad chick is the day I start wearing flowery dresses and heels." Gaz retorted. "And you know how I fell about flowery dresses and heels." She growled as they arrived at the front steps.

The bell rings around them, and Mrs. Bitters emerges from the shadows.

"Let me guess Detention!" Miz said using his best impression of Mrs. Bitters' voice, which was pretty good if Dib was being honest.

"Mocking will not save you in the midst of a real foe." Mrs. Bitters told him as she handed out their slips.

"Seems to work for me." Zim countered as they made their way to homeroom. However, he was surprised to see Mrs. Bitter walk into the class with them.

"Where's Mrs. Kilmore?" Dib asked as Mrs. Bitters took a seat behind the front desk.

"She called in sick." She explained. "A sub will be here in time for first period, so she asked me to fill in for homeroom now everyone take your seats!" She demanded.

"She's taking over the school." Recap kid said. "Before we know it the Author of this story will only use her in every class no matter how impossible it sounds."

"What is he talking about?" Miz asked.

"Oh, that's Recap Kid." Dib explained.

"Is that his real name?" Miz asked. "Cause if so that's just sad."

"No everyone calls him that because he likes to recap on events that happen around him, like some audience is listen to him." Dib explained. "He thinks our whole existence is some story written by some crazed Fan girl on a website…I think he calls it fan fiction…or something like that."

"That's…" Zim wasn't sure how to find the words.

"Crazy?" Dib asked. "I know and everyone calls me the insane one. I mean seriously, a crazy fan girl writing my actions, giving them life, like she has nothing better to do then make my life miserable."

"Well, I suppose she could have made your head smaller." Miz mused.

"Yeah well she could have made you short and green." Dib countered.

The boys both gave each other weird looks before they started laughing as if they had just discovered some inside joke.

Suddenly the sound of chalk scraping along the chalkboard grabs their attention. They look towards the board to See Mrs. Bitters writing the words 'The Big Bang' on the chalkboard.

"She does know she doesn't have to teach anything right?" Miz asked.

"She does." Recap Kid said. "The Author is just grasping at straws for plot purposes."

"Wow He really is crazy." Miz said.

"In the beginning there was nothing!" Mrs. Bitters began to drone on as she always did. "Where I am standing; before the Big bang there was NOTHING! And you, Mary: Right where your head is, before the Big Bang, there was NOTHING there!"

Mary, a girl with long blond hair stares speechlessly from her seat as Mrs. Bitters continues to point out…well nothing. She points to the window. On the outside of it there is a barbed wire fence where a squirrel sits, eating an acorn.

"And outside, where that squirrel is, there was NOTHING!" She screamed.

The squirrel seems to look inside of the classroom as if it knows someone is talking about him.

Zim sighs deeply obviously bored out of his mind as Mrs. Bitters points at him. "And under your chair, Miz NOTHING!"

Zim looks at the clock and sees that class is almost out. It is less than a minute from ending, but the second hand suddenly stops right as it is about to reach the 12.

"And by that tree, where that dog is…" Mrs. Bitter said, pointing outside again. "Nothing!"

Zim growls and uses his ocular implants to see inside the clock, and notices a bug is caught in the gears. Zim grunts, grits his teeth and clings to his desk, waiting for the clock to start moving again. The bug splats inside the clock, sending its innards all over the gears. The gears start running again. The second hand reaches the twelve and the bell rings.

"Ah, phew." Zim sighs in relief thinking that if there was some crazy fan girl watching that she at least finished his misery quickly enough.

Dib couldn't agree more, but before they could leave Mrs. Bitters suddenly grabs their attention. "Don't forget that tonight is parent-teacher night. Everyone is required to bring their parents to the cafeteria."

Zim stops in the doorway and then turns around and approaches Ms. Bitters. "I never agreed to attend this parent-teacher night!"

"Yes, you did." Mrs. Bitters says.

Zim shook his fist. "No. You lie! You liiiie!" he declares flailing his arms in a scratching motion.

Mrs. Bitter sighs and in a phantom-like swoop, goes to her desk. She opens a drawer and pulls out a disk which she sticks into a computer on her desk. She grabs the mouse and clicks, and the blackboard opens up revealing a viewing screen. The viewing screen plays a recording of Zim sitting in class fiddling with a pencil.

"Miz, are you going to bring your parents to parent-teacher night?" Mrs. Kilmore's voice asked on the video.

Zim balances the pencil on his lip, then removes it so he can give an answer. "Yeah, sure, whatever."

The Zim in the video puts the pencil back on his lips and the recording ends, and the blackboard returns to normal. Zim looks up at a security camera hanging from the ceiling and wonders how he never noticed it before. "Why would you tape that?" He asked. "And why don't I remember this conversation?"

"The Author will provide no explanations for this." Recap Kid said.

"Seriously will you quit it with the whole fourth wall breaking already?" Dib yelled, before turning to Zim. "It's no big deal Miz besides I'll go with you, so it won't be so bad."

"I guess." Miz said looking frustrated. "It's just I had plans tonight." He admitted.

"Really plans?" Dib asked suddenly alarmed. "Like as in going out and doing something."

"Ah yeah that's what having plans means." Miz said giving him a weird look. "But now it looks like I'll have to cancel."

Dib suddenly went numb. Cancel? As in he had plans with someone else. Was Miz secretly dating someone and not telling him in order to spare his feelings? Was it someone in this class? Dib looked around him at all the girls trying to see if anyone looked disappointed that Miz would be too busy for them tonight. But everyone just filed out of the classroom like normal.

Dib's heart was suddenly pounding in his chest, what if Miz was dating someone? And he had been teasing him this whole time knowing all along he had someone else. Suddenly his greatest fears resurface, fears that Miz is no different from his first crush, the guy who openly humiliated him in front of everyone!

Was history about to repeat itself?

"Hey Dib, you okay?" Miz asked as he tugged on his sleeve forcing him to walk out of the class and into the hall towards first period.

Okay? How could he possibly be okay? His best friend and love interest had been stringing him along ever since he found out his true feelings. All the while said love interest was secretly dating someone else! Dib was suddenly green with jealousy, however, a small part of him realized how crazy and obsessed he sounded. After all, Miz wasn't even his, they were just friends, but Dib had thought he was thinking about becoming more.

'Maybe I'm reading too much into it.' Dib thought. 'Maybe he has other plans with his parents or wanted to play with Gir or something.' Still, that didn't seem to fit. Why would Miz make a point to mention it if it was something he could do any other night.

Zim gave Dib another weird look, had he done something wrong? Usually, he was the moody one not Dib. He shook his head; his plan had been to tease the Dib into making the first move. To openly flirt with him in the hopes of tipping Dib off that he was interested, but at the same time he didn't want to be too painfully obvious.

Of course, Zim had done research on Irken relationships as well, unfortunately there wasn't much to find. But he did learn that it was more common for Irkens to choose a mate of a different species. This had to do with their suborn pride and their need for dominance. Even an omega would be offended if someone tried to dominate them. So being such a dominate race it was only natural to look else were for a more submissive partner.

He also learned that Irkens had trouble expressing feelings, which was nothing new to him. What he found interesting though was this was also the case when it came to choosing a mate. Irkens had high standards and while they wanted a submissive partner, they also wanted a partner that could match them step for step. They wanted them to be strong so they could look after themselves, and they were never straight forward about their feels.

In fact, an Irken was more likely to be cruel to their love interest, and there were many reasons why. One was simply because it was an Irkens instinct to constantly test their mate, giving them countless chances to prove to them, and the rest of the Irken race that they were worthy to be theirs. Another reason was because Irkens were loners and even though they had willingly chosen a mate. A part of them would always question the need to have a connection with another being.

This was because the Irken race was constantly battling with their natural instincts, Instinct said to reproduce and find someone who truly gets you, who loves you. However, The Irken Program only cared about productivity and numbers and those two things reasoned that a mate was just extra baggage. A weakness the enemy could exploit, and use against them. A mate meant the fear of one day losing and once again being alone. And well an Irken usually becomes nothing but an empty shell after losing their mate.

Why?

Well for starters it is because they will never chose another, an Irken mates for life, and no one will ever compare to their life mate. Another is because choosing a mate seems to destroy their thirst for conquest, which was one of the reasons it was programed to be obsolete in this day and age.

Long story short, courting a potential mate was a long and tedious process for an Irken, and Zim feared that if Dib turned out not to be good enough for him that his instincts to shun him would ruin his plan. Yes, as disgusting as it sounded Zim had to make this believable to even himself, because if Dib didn't measure up to his natural standers in a mate then Zim's instinct would be to push him away. An instinct he may not be able to help.

And there lied the question, a question that Zim had never thought to consider. What kind of mate would he want?

What did he want out of a partner?

The instinctive answer would be nothing. As an Alpha, Zim had been raised to believe he was the best of the best. No one could measure up to him, not even other Irkens. And as an invader, Zim had been alone most of his life. Invaders only had solo missions, they never worked in pairs, there was no need, they were the best the Irken military had to offer. Besides, they all had their own style of conquest; meaning even another invader would slow them down.

So, in short Zim never really saw the need to include another, even his times spent with the Tallest wore on him from time to time. Being social just took far too much time and energy, energy that could be used getting some much-needed work done. However, if this plan was going to work then Zim needed to do something an Irken was supposed to never do… show his vulnerable side. That what it meant when it came to an Irken choosing a mate. To admit to themselves and other Irkens that they needed to connect with someone else, and even worse still that they wanted to connect in the first place.

It was a complicated situation, and for lack of a better word, it was a gamble of a plan that might not even work.

And then of course there was the computer warning, that Dib was doing something to him, and that provoking these emotions might have an even worse outcome. And yes, he had already suspected that he might be falling for the boy. But now after some thought he realizes; he had already been courting Dib. True he had been teasing Dib in hopes that Dib would see him as a jerk and lose interest, but now Zim realized that he might have been inadvertently testing Dib's worth.

All in all, this was a risky plan that Zim was cooking up, and it was obvious that he could fall for it himself, which is what had the computer so worried. Still, it was the only plan he had, he had to distract Dib, but Dib was only interested in him, so naturally he was the only option to do the distracting.

Zim stopped as he made it to his first period class. "Well, I'll see you at lunch." He told Dib.

"Sure." Dib said, though his smile is forced.

Zim picks up on it in an instant, so there was something wrong, however Zim felt no need to find out what. He had more important things to worry about, this parent teacher night and he wasn't sure if his robot parents were actually ready for such an endeavor. "Well bye" He said before running into the classroom.

'So, there is something going on.' Dib thought his eyes narrowing on Zim. 'Well, whatever it is I'm going to find out.' His face wore a look of pure determination. 'I'll get to the bottom of this.' He vowed. 'No matter what!'

-To Be Continued

Chapter End Notes

For those of you who don't know who Recap Kid is; he comes from the Invader Zim comics and as his name implies, he gives the audience a recap on the story so far before the next comic kicks off. I wanted to use him in this Chapter because I watched Dead Pool 2 and suddenly have the urge to break the fourth wall in my story. Hope you guys enjoyed the obvious puns towards the original Invader Zim story.

Thanks for reading next chapter will be up soon. Until then this is...

Emily signing off :)