Prologue - Gainful Employment

A.N. - So, this fic is a bit of an evolution/rewrite of a concept that started as a 'Waifu Catalog but in the sales department for clients', then became 'Basic waifu catalog fic but in a setting never seen'. But the latter didn't have a nice emotional throughline, it wasn't gelling as well as I'd hoped.

And then I realized. 'Why not just keep in contact with the family and have to deal with being a multidimensional slaver?"

So this is partially a rewrite of stuff already seen for both Department P(romotions) and In Search of Fuck and Profit. I'll make note of what's new in the Andy's Notes.


What's Changed -
The entire first section is the biggest change and the most important. Additionally, instead of being a sales rep, he's in the real estate development side of Acquisitions.

TL;DR - This first few chapters are partial rewrites if you follow my snippet thread, but things will quickly diverge.

"Hi, mom? Yeah, I got the job."

"Ohh! That's great honey! It turned out to be real?"

"Yeah," I glanced over at the literal Beast of Humanity sitting at the table in the cafe, "I was a bit concerned, but they're legit."

"Oh, I'm so glad, I was so worried when you published that stuff… it's good that something's come of it." She murmured, understandable concern at me publishing porn materials… the amount of obsession I'd gotten into that stuff after we'd lost the house was understandably concerning, but it'd led me to this. "The salary was real?"

"Six figures, yeah. But honestly, the perks are the real bonus. I can probably get my teeth straightened among other things basically for free."

"That's great!" I could hear the smile in her voice, "What'll you be doing?"

I winced, "I can't talk too much about it yet, the NDA is pretty fierce."

A blunt lie because I did not want to get into what I'd actually be doing. Enslaving people, conquering worlds, and various other crimes against humanity and various other sapient species, not to mention nature itself.

"Really?" The skepticism in her tone was clear.

"Yeah." I affirmed the lie. How do you explain to your mom that your efforts to put a porn writing prompt in so many places had led to a job offer that turned into something real? That the prompt itself had become real? "Don't worry."

"... will you be safe?"

"Yeah, I'm going to go to their training compound and get some training, as well as have a professional trainer with me for the first while."

"... it's not drugs, is it?"

I couldn't help but chuckle, "No, no it's not drugs." It's worse.

"I just want you to be safe."

"And I just want to take care of you and dad." I rebutted, "I'm going to get my stuff out of the hotel since they're going to provide housing. I'll definitely get the cats too since I know you're not a fan about taking care of them. And once I get my first paycheck, I'm going to help y'all get a place near Shelby."

"We'll pay you back–" She started, but I cut it off immediately.

"No. You won't. You took care of me for most of my life, even if we can get the insurance to pay out, we've still got to take care of dad's medical bills, I finally found something that fits and pays well. Let me take care of you."

My mom was quiet for a long moment, and I could just quietly hear the little sob that the phone had picked up, "Thank you. You don't have to, you know that. But thank you."

"I love you."

"I love you too." She sniffled aggressively before clearing her throat, "Now! Work. You said they're going to provide housing?"

"Yeah."

"Will it be within driving distance?"

"Usually not, from the sounds of things. I'm going to be moving around a fair bit." I paused, considering how to say it, "I'm basically going to be a consultant? It's a bit more complex than that and I'm going to be actively doing things, but that's a good way to put it. I'm technically a contractor, but seriously, the benefits are real good. Once they kick in I might actually be able to take care of dad's bills, we'll see about that though. Play it a bit by ear."

"Three months?"

"Maybe. It can be sooner than that based on performance, but somewhere between two and three months." It depended on how long it took me to capture and enslave enough people to both pay off my debt and then purchase a healing 'waifu'. Or develop healing magics myself.

But with how badly dad had been hurt by the tornado, I definitely wanted some actual healing magic involved.

"Please tell me you'll call at least once a week."

Aka: You're calling once a week or I'm going to get mad at you about it.

"Don't worry, I will." I looked up to find eyes of gold meeting mine through across the cafe, a delicate finger pointed my way before turning over in a beckoning motion. The saucey look on her face had me clearing my throat and shifting in place at the very recent memory. "Ah, looks like the interviewer is calling me back in."

"You're okay?" My mom's tone brooked no dishonesty.

"Yeah, fine." I nodded in acknowledgement to the extremely dangerous woman that had been conducting my interview, holding up a single finger, asking for just a bit more time. "She's just… very pretty. And pretty flirty. She's been trying to throw me off as part of the interview process. But I've been taking notes and making sure to read the documentation closely. Still, I've got to go."

"I love you."

"Love you too. I'll talk to you later."

Hanging up my phone, I headed back into the cafe to speak with my new supervisor.

-o Previously o-

"What's the training schedule?"

For all that I was doing my best to rake her over the metaphorical coals, I needed this job.

I needed it to be real.

She smiled. "Two weeks of preparation training, and then on-the job training from one of our experts for the duration of a mission."

'Really? The way the stories so frequently go I'd have assumed I'd get thrown in with minimal information outside of the sales catalog.'

Something in my look must've tipped her off to my thoughts, that or she'd just straight up read my mind, as she giggled quietly, covering her mouth delicately with a gloved hand, honey-colored eyes crinkling. "We wouldn't throw you at uplifting societies and bargaining with horrifying monstrosities outside of time and space without at least some training. We're not hiring you for your ability to acquire Waifus after all. You'll even be representing the Company and its services to Clients - the face of the Company for most of them."

Her smile reached her eyes, but there was no warmth to it, merely the chill of a knife cutting into a slab of living meat. "We wouldn't want you to embarrass us in front of a Client, after all."

"Of course, every interaction is a chance to sell and to prep for further sales." I continued, accepting the implied threat with ease. I knew what I was interviewing for. Who. "ABC, upselling, brand recognition, all that sort of stuff. In their eyes, I must be both an individual, to be personable, approachable, someone they can speak with and get what they want, but also, as far as they are concerned, I am the Company. And no matter what affectations to individualism and personality I add, the core is still the Company."

"Professional. Polite. Holding to the letter of your deals. Industrious. Adaptable." A tongue, nearly as pink as her hair, darted out to wet her lips as she leaned forward on the table, pressing her breasts together. "Fucking everyone and everything."

"Of course." I agreed, "If you're not exploiting them for everything you can get, you're doing something wrong. Sustainability of income flows aside."

The agent of the Company smiled. "Without a doubt. And this department will focus on the sustainable incomes."

I nodded, the job-offer had mentioned both infrastructure, systems, and sales, "You're saying a full mission of active training? Just the one?"

"In addition to the onboarding process, yes. At least a full world-mission's worth of training with an expert." The pink haired woman said, her stark white outfit more a mockery of an office or flight attendant uniform. No undershirt under the form-fitting jacket, which was unbuttoned enough to show off some of her smooth flat stomach and her generous cleavage, a ribbon tight around her neck like a collar, her skirt barely an inch below her ass and about as close to scandalous as I was within distance of being sane.

Taking an interview offer based on porn writings wasn't exactly the most coherent thing after all. But things just… seemed to line up too well.

I took a sip of my drink as my interviewer crossed her legs and sat back in her chair and she continued. "You'll get a pick of a moderate intensity and risk world to acquire and establish Company facilities on, and your expert coach will help you navigate those conflicts and how to handle further issues. Guiding your development of the real estate and the production of various Company products. The more your people make, the more you make."

"Why, Lady Koyanskaya, that almost sounds Multi-Level-Marketing like." I said with false affront, putting a hand to my chest.

"Oh Jacob, don't be silly, it's only an MLM if we're encouraging you to hire other people downstream of yourself!"

"Which is Promotions 201 I'm guessing?"

Her smile was liquid sadism infused into honey. "Profit 202, actually."

"Then, why, pray tell, should I continue with this application, and not try to aim for R&D or some other department?"

Something seemed to glitter in her amber eyes, "The benefits of course. You'll have complete Catalog access, a retirement plan, family insurance, and an entire alternative income flow on top of what normal Acquisitions gets. And…" She purred, reaching across the restaurant table to wipe at my cheek, and I flinched at the sharp prick of pain from the contact with my cuts. The glass from the tornado had not been kind to my face-

-the soothing cool washed over the hot skin, leaving just a pleasant warmth behind.

"Most deliciously? Class 2 Medical benefits for you and your family."

I blinked, turning my glass to find my reflection within it, finding the angry red lines that had littered my cheek and ruined my beard gone, replaced with smooth skin.

Oh. Oh dear.

Whatever pokerface I'd had was entirely nuked, but still, I had to focus… "I… still have some hesitations and concerns. You said at least a mission's worth of training…?"

"Yes, though the training will continue until you've paid for your onboarding package and your trainer."

I was already smiling a bit, some of my confidence returning as I slipped back into the small-talk style and teasing vibe, "Paying for my onboarding package and trainer? That really does seem to undercut the idea that it's not an MLM."

"Oh Jacob, don't be silly," she said with a giggle, splayed fingers half covering her smile, "You can't be part of a downline if your trainer is your slave!"

Train of thought hit a cow.

Wait, no. Focus. Solve problems. "May I ask who my trainer would be then? I don't necessarily want to add such an expense for someone with such skills if I wouldn't… shall we say… be willing to adapt to them."

"Oh, don't worry, I can assure you that your trainer will be quite compatible with you." Koyanskaya smiled at me like a snake that'd found an unguarded nest, "I have a prepared fragment to act as your trainer and initial Company Contact."

"A fragment of yourself." I half asked, half confirmed aloud.

"Yes," the powerful creature leaned forward in a way that very deliberately drew attention to her cleavage, pressing her breasts together as she whispered conspiratorially, "I can even make it so that my fragment doesn't know that you're going to be purchasing her as part of the package."

Her tone, soft and honeyed, screamed 'I know what you like in the dark.'

The dark thought was hot enough that I was able to overlook just how uncomfortable her level of knowledge about me was. Despite the urge to clear my throat, I instead forced myself to take a sip of my drink and make an affirmative noise.

Noncon and dubcon were fetishes of mine, but I was also starkly aware of how horrible that could be outside of actual consenting roleplay situations. And she was offering me that on a silver platter.

This was good. Too good.

Her smile told me how little my attempt convinced her that I wasn't uncomfortably aroused by the thought.

Instead, I focused on the tiny hint of red on one of her gloves from where she'd wiped at the cuts on my face.

"Noted. You mentioned class 2 medical? And a retirement plan?" I made a game attempt at getting back on a safer topic and drag out whatever info I could about the situation, "I'd love to have something to reference so I can make a proper decision."

"Oh dear, I must have forgotten to mention," Koyanskaya put the same hand she'd used on her own cheek, tongue tracing out to lick up the tiny hint of red on her fingertips. "Any offers of employment are only open while I'm in this specific worldline, and contingent on acceptance during the meeting."

Of course, time pressure. Fuck. Definite MLM-a-like, and I bet that's also going to be a similar excuse for any other offers. "Oh, entirely understandable, you're clearly a very busy woman, though I couldn't just accept such an offer without at least being able to see the contract in full."

Which I'd probably have to stall her more to be able to read, and even then might miss stuff in a first pass. Blech. I'll work with it.

"That's entirely doable, Mr. Jacob," the pink-haired woman reached into her frustratingly distracting cleavage and pulled out a sizable phone, sliding it across the table towards me. "The Company prides itself on sticking to its agreements after all, and you should know what you're agreeing to first."

"Thank you, I appreciate the forthrightness." 'Hah! As straightforward as a slinky.' But I needed some time to actually read this. "Would you care for something to eat?"

"Oh but I couldn't…"

"It'd be a pleasure."

"I've been on a diet…"

"Entirely understandable, beauty such as yours likely requires constant work to maintain." There was a little quirk to her lips at that, good, I hadn't fucked up the tone on that one. I put a hand to my chest and kept close watch on her eyes, "But I know this place has a fantastic set of appetizers, light fare like spinach eggrolls, lightly grilled carrots-" a little twitch of the muscle that would move an ear, "-and my personal favorite, some cheese crisps. The vegetable platter in particular is nice, light seasoning, various low calorie dips, and a range of things from carrots to celery to zucchini crisps."

There was the slightest shift to her body language at that, unrelated to the look she shot me before 'letting' her hand trail down, "I don't know…"

Oh c'mon! Ugh, I hate hard sells, but this is definitely part of the interview.

Thankfully for me and my job prospects, I'd worked as a waiter for nearly a decade, and considered myself good at my job. Picking up on what people wanted, what they reacted to, and expounding upon it was a very useful skill in that context.

"Please, I insist. It would be what little show of appreciation I can give for the gracious gift of your presence and time."

"Ohhh… how… forward," the purr sent a shock straight to my loins in what was definitely an intentional thing. Not to mention how she recrossed her legs, her heels only barely brushing against my pants in the motion. "Well… if you… insist..."

I waved down our server in the little restaurant, and went through the motions of ordering us an appetizer. My interviewer got herself another drink as well as one for me while I tried to read through the many, many pages of legal documents that were on the phone, making meaningless smalltalk about the venue, the weather, and similar.

Several big things jumped out in my rapid skimming of the actual contract, in spite of Koyanskaya trying very hard to interrupt my thought process. Not just by engaging me in conversation, but with physical temptation and flirting about as subtle as a brick to the face.

Even with that, it was obvious that a lot of the benefits only kicked in after being fully converted to an employee of the Company. I'd be a Temp, not an Intern, but basically a probationary employee kept on At Will until my debt was paid off.

"Hm, pardon the topic change, but I must ask, what are the metrics used for performance for the position? It doesn't seem to be covered here."

A flicker of… something flitted across her face before she beamed, "Oh that's easy! It's a perfectly simple algorithm based on Brane-worldline divergence and net relative dedwen profit, minus Company expenses of course."

I blinked, then frowned. "Pardon, that terminology isn't familiar to me." Her smile started to become vulpine and sadistic before I clarified: "Could you define dedwen for me?"

That seemed to cause a hitch before her smile became more pleasant, "Oh, it's the inherent value that lies at the heart of everything. Power is a finite commodity for creative wills to gather and transmute, after all."

Nodding my head, I let that definition tumble into the phrase she'd used. "Makes sense. Is there any particular ways to determine those things as a running tally while on the job?"

"Oh, that's something that's covered in the on-boarding training." The terrifyingly powerful agent said with a smile and saccharine tone, shanking that topic like a knife of crystalized honey. "That would start right after finalizing your paperwork."

Well… dicks. Dropping that one.

I needed the money. Even if she'd really fixed me up and it wasn't an illusion of some form, that didn't take care of my parents medical bills, or the lawyers fees, or the rent, or the food…

The tornado had swept through my neighborhood, and I'd been lucky enough not to get badly mangled. Even with my current workplace being very understanding and my sister and her husband doing what they could, there… just wasn't enough money coming in.

I'd fallen down the rabbit hole of writing more for the Catalog, the silly little online writing prompt rpg thing as a way to destress, I'd lost hours of days writing for it, refining things within it, adding to it. I'd put it up in other places, I'd tried to monetize it, I'd done so much.

And then, in my inbox, an invite to a job interview.

From 'the Company.'

An entry level position whose base expected pay started in six figures? I'd had to at least give it a go, hear them out, no matter how implausible.

When it'd become a video call with an extraordinarily attractive woman in a nice suit, who then set up an in-person follow-up interview? At the very least I was willing to give getting pranked a go, best case scenario she was just a little weird or looking to hook up, and a date with a somewhat chuuni hottie of that caliber could be worth my time. We'd set things up for a nicer restaurant that had avoided the worst of the storm.

Any doubts of the veracity of her claims was dissolved when she'd literally walked out of a portal that'd appeared from thin air with a fox tail and ears, and a soft pink hair color, only to then shift into the current form she had.

But any hopes that the mythical 'Company' from that thing I'd been so familiar with, that I'd even worked on while I'd had the time to do stuff on the internet… any hopes of it being nicer than portrayed had been thrown out the window.

It was an interdimensional trading company, and some of its primary products were slaves.

It broke into realities like the colonizing organizations of old, and exploited them in every way they could. Everything unique about a setting would be taken in, assimilated, and then sold to the highest bidder in a horrifying cross of Ferengi and the Borg. It ruined lives, consumed people, and meddled with their souls and minds.

Only a fool would sign up with this sort of Company; they'd chew you up and spit you out, grind you down to nothing as the boot on your throat pushed you into the grindstone.

-oOo-

I signed the digital document with a little flourish.

It was a lot of legal things about giving them the use of my quantum likeness for clones, what very few limited rights I had as a temp employee, and acknowledging that I had read the terms and conditions. There wasn't anything about social security numbers or anything, but there was stuff like setting up a paracausal signature link, as well as setting up a device and a Company Account.

Stuff that Contractors had less to worry about, since they exclusively worked off Company Scrip. That and they were often outright shanghai'd into the position for any number of reasons, so this stuff was done with their T1-T2 asses in a temporal lock.

I was getting pulled in for a new department, so I was getting some… additional considerations.

"And that should be it." I said with a nod, shooting a little smile up at her, "Unless there's another document you'll be stuck waiting for me to go through?"

Oh, I could just see the twitch in her cheek at that. For all that she'd tried to push, I'd been absolutely insistent on actually reading through everything, because rather bluntly, I didn't sign anything without actually reading through it.

Koyanskaya wasn't able to keep from snorting into her drink. "Thankfully no. There's still more to do later, but that will be done in the Company offices."

We'd already gone through a few drinks, appetizers, and a full meal, our waiter having taken our plates a while ago, both of us denying desserts.

Much of the time had just been filled with me reading and occasionally signing documents, and the originally late-lunch style interview time had easily blended into that of the dinner rush. I pitied the poor waiter that'd been stuck with us, though at least we'd ordered a lot of drinks. Probably on my tab as part of the interview, as a soft bribe for my new boss.

Thankfully this restaurant had good AC, meaning my full suit and tie for the interview wasn't stifling even with the late Florida summer outside.

It'd come out through things that not only would a fragment of this Koyanskaya act as my expert 'trainer', but this Koyanskaya would eventually be my immediate supervisor.

With a soft smile, I extended my hand, "Then it'll be a pleasure to work with you."

The corners of her smile curled so far to nearly loop upon themselves in a Grinch-like fashion, "Oh, no, we don't do that here, not in my team."

"... huh?" My eyebrow went up.

Koyanskaya stood smoothly, stepping around the table, hand tracing along the hard surface until the pale skin snapped up to grab me by the tie.

Hands had barely started to curl into fists and rise before her head dipped in and hot, soft lips smashed against mine.

I squeaked in the back of my throat, her face filling my vision, perfect skin and amused honey-colored eyes overwhelming me as her tongue forced its way between my lips.

She tasted like spice and honey, her tongue cooler than I'd have thought–

Half pulling back, the motion was arrested by the tight grip on my short hair she had with her other hand, and Koyanskaya pushed harder into the kiss, a happy little hum escaping her and tingling as it resonated through my mouth.

I'd never had the chance to kiss someone with tongue, my brain struggling to catch up.

Her tongue pressed mine to the bottom of my mouth before slipping underneath it and shoving it to the top, the friction sending tingles dancing through my skin.

-wait this was bad- hold up-

My hand reached up, lightly grabbing the wrist of her hand tangled in my hair-

And she broke away with a happy little sound, a glistening trail of saliva connecting our lips as she smirked, her tongue slowly tracing the full lips, breaking the connection.

"Ah- uh-" I articulately started before she smirked.

"Handshakes are so out of style." Kyoanskaya dipped back in, her grip on my head tilting my head back so she could drag her hot tongue up my neck, leaving a trail of cold in its wake before sharp points of her teeth grazed my cheek.

I gasped as the woman began to move downwards, soft mounds of warmth pressing against me before they slid down, and I could feel how my face lit up like a fire hydrant. "K-Koyan-!"

The button for my suit jacket popped open as she hummed inquisitively, "Mmm?"

A twist of her hand as she settled between my legs, pressing up against the chair as she smirked up at me, her hands wandering further down across my thighs, making my leg jump. "I-! We're in public." I hissed out, shooting a glance at the rest of the dinner rush. While not every table was packed, there were a ton of people here and… none of them were looking at us…?

"Mhm?" Her smug look practically singing he unspoken, 'yes, and?' as her hand grabbed the hem of my pants, and with a little flourish, set my cock bouncing free into the chill of the heavily air-conditioned dining area.

"I- ah- I still live here-!"

Soft fingers delicately moved along my quickly hardening dick even as she giggled, smirking up at me even as she shimmied under the table, "And?"

I started to speak, but choked on the words as the hot breadth of her tongue swept up from the base to the tip.

"Is something wrong sir?"

"Ah?" I glanced up at our waiter, who was just looking at me in confusion. How could he not see her-?!

… Servant.

My brain finally catching up, I rubbed my burning face, trying desperately to ignore the shifting motions beneath the table and the giggle there. "Sorry, I ah-... had an embarrassing realization and I've had ah–..." my breathing hitched as something hot and soft and wet pressed against my cock. I swallowed hard, deliberately folding my hands on the table, "I've had a fair number of drinks. Could I get the check please?"

With a loud slurp and extremely audible pop, Koyanskaya giggled with distilled, auditory sadism, delicate points of softness moving up and down my cock like points of lightning dancing up and down my spine.

"Of course, I'll be right back."

My face felt like it was on fire, sweat beading on my skin as I felt the flush spreading down my chest. I glanced down and found the pink-haired powerhouse smirking up at me even as she took my cock in hand and slapped it against her face.

"Why, thank you for taking care of the bill." Honey-colored eyes locked on mine, she extended her tongue to slowly drag it up the side of my dick. "It's sweet."

I'm not ashamed to admit I couldn't maintain eye-contact, the heat in her gaze, the embarrassment, the shame, the electric thrill of the sheer public-ness of the situation was too much.

Someone was looking right at me.

Bored, the acne-faced teen had a brilliant shock of blue hair that was starting to fade. He was stuck at a table with what were clearly his parents and some of their friends, dragged along to the restaurant.

No meaningful recognition in his gaze, no shock, no rapt attention, no disgust, nothing.

Well, he sneered, and flicked me off before looking back to his family because I'd been staring.

Inhaling deeply through my nose, I clenched my jaw and very pointedly focused on the mini-tablet she'd set in front of me with the Company documents.

Koyanskaya giggled, and the action did interesting things with her face pressed against my sensitive skin. But then she wrapped her soft hands around me, licked up the shaft before taking the entirety of it into her mouth. Hot tongue lashing against my sensitive skin, tasting, savoring, exploring every crevice as she sucked and slurped. Loud in my head even if intellectually I knew it would be drowned out by the sounds of the customers and the kitchen.

And then she went all the way down, enveloping me entirely in heat and suction and what little thread of control I had was gone.

With a shudder, my hips jerked and I came right into the greedy, suckling mouth.

It felt like her tongue lashed out and lapped up every drop, my eyes closing as I desperately tried to keep quiet, hand pressing against the table.

What the actual fuck?

I had zero issue admitting that I was overwhelmed, that I'd popped like a bottle of champagne at the slightest provocation. I hadn't lasted any meaningful amount of time-

"Uh-"

My hand slapped over the screen of the phone. My face still felt like it was on fire. Id' closed my eyes at some point in my orgasm. "Sorry. My companion … is very naughty." I admitted, scrambling for words and an explanation to at least partially diffuse the situation with the waiter. I forced myself to look up at him steadily and hold out my hand, "The check?"

The little black booklet was handed over as the man nodded with every bit of awkwardness I felt.

"Thank you."

My new boss laughed from her place beneath the table.

A.N. 2 Electric Boogaloo - I've got the first proper chapter done, but I've gotta let it sit for a sec before going back over it while I hack into the second and third chapters. So I'm aiming for a Thursday update on this one, next week at the latest.

As always, criticism and commentary are appreciated.