Chapter 6: Newfound Fear

Kyuubi sat at the bottom of the staircase early the next morning. Throughout the night, he had not been able to sleep. Each turn he made worsened the throbbing pain in his side, a sharp pain he felt throughout his entire body, so achingly painful that he could do nothing else but sit up and curl himself over his knees. He would turn and look down at the empty space beside him and he'd be reminded of the man he loved, not knowing where he was or how he was feeling. He couldn't stop thinking about the party, a magical night that had meant to be a perfect ending to a day that hadn't been so perfect. Kyuubi could barely keep his eyes open for more than five minutes before he felt the salty tears begin to creep down his face. He folded his arms over his knees, hid his face behind his arms as the guilt washed over him. He felt worthless.

Around him, the housemaids moved back and forth, fulfilling their tasks for the day. Hinata had been the one to call Kyuubi downstairs for breakfast. Kyuubi had taken a step off the staircase when he suddenly felt sick to his stomach. He sat down, his head in his hands as he softly cried. If Itachi was there, he would've told him to stop crying, even though most of the time he was crying because of him. Hinata had offered her company to which Kyuubi had declined. There was nothing she could say or do to make him feel better, to take away the guilt he was bearing. This was all his fault. Some way or another, he felt responsible. When Sasuke had called, he had been the one to pick up the phone, had spoken just a few words. He remembered telling Sasuke Itachi wasn't home. That was all. Sasuke had asked when Itachi would be back, but Kyuubi did not answer. He hung up the phone. Then Sasuke miraculously shows up at his party. He can't shake the image of him standing beside Naruto, hand in hand. It doesn't make sense. Kyuubi can't comprehend it. This is something he should've known. Somehow, he should've known.

Itachi.

He would never betray Itachi, not like this. He could never, no matter the situation, no matter how angry Itachi made him. He would never go that far. But Itachi wouldn't see it that way. He had crossed a line, and he doesn't know how he can come back from it. He doesn't know how he can face Itachi.

Kyuubi kept his head over his knees, his eyes studying the intricate designs on the tiled floors. The tears had stopped, his eyes red and swollen. His mind urged him to move, to do something, but his body wouldn't comply. He felt trapped, a prisoner to his own misery.

The three maids carefully approached him. They were nervous. Sakura moved to stand in front of the other two maids, her arms placed over one another in front of her thighs. She cleared her throat and Kyuubi turned and somberly looked at her.

"Kyuubi, I'd like to apologize for my behavior a few days ago," she said softly. "I shouldn't have spoken to you that way. I was out of line." She bowed her head. "Please, forgive me."

Kyuubi returned his eyes to the tiles beneath his feet. "You didn't say anything that wasn't true. Besides, I was the one out of line. I shouldn't have jumped at you like that, so let's call it even."

The maids exchanged looks. Sakura and Ino slightly nudged Hinata forward, their eyes communicating a silent message.

"Kyuu," Hinata called softly, "we are all a little concerned. Itachi didn't return home last night and we just want to know if everything is okay. We don't mean to pry in your relationship, but it's hard for us to pretend we don't see what's been going on. After all, it's our job to take care of the two of you."

"One more than the another," Ino whispered, wincing when Sakura nudged her roughly.

"He's with his friends," Kyuubi answered, not meeting Hinata's gaze. "He's fine. There's no need to worry."

Hearing this, Ino perked up brightly. "That means Dei will probably come back with him," she said excitedly, like a school girl talking about a crush. Her eyes lit up as she grabbed hold of Sakura's arm, shaking her. "It's been so long since Deidara came to visit. Sakura, Deidara is coming!"

Sakura pulled her arm away, a stern look on her face. "Calm down. Not everything's about you."

Ino rolled her eyes. "Whatever. I'm going to get ready." She walked away, bouncing on her heels.

After a while, Sakura decided to leave as well. She had just prepared breakfast, a buffet that could feed about a dozen people that now needed to be packed away. She had a tendency to cook a lot more than was needed when she was stressed, and after yesterday, she couldn't keep a quiet mind. Itachi really scared her, and even though she still adored him, something in her perception of him has shifted, a fear she can't seem to shake. Itachi hadn't physically harmed her, but the possibility of it happening didn't seem so farfetched. She has seen a whole new side of her boss, and it was like meeting a completely different man.

Hinata placed her hand down on Kyuubi's shoulder, quickly retracting her hand when he flinched away from her touch.

"Hinata, please, just leave me alone."

Hinata could hear the desperation in his voice. He didn't even sound like himself anymore. Kyuubi was always full of life, but now he was a brooding mess, barely recognizable. He still wouldn't lift up his eyes to look at her. She sighed, a deep frown on her face. She placed down the bottle of water she had brought him beside his feet before quietly leaving.

—

An hour went by and Kyuubi remained on the step, his phone in hand. He again declined the call from his brother. Naruto had called him about five times now and each time, Kyuubi had brought up the phone to answer, only to then stare at the screen until it went black. He didn't know what to say to Naruto, and he had no interest to hear what Naruto had to say to him. It wasn't Naruto's fault. He didn't know. Still, Kyuubi couldn't help but feel resentful. He doesn't want to misplace it towards his brother. He'd rather hate himself and right now, he felt like the worst human being on the planet.

Kyuubi heard the voices before he heard the sound of the heavy front door creaking open. It was Hidan's voice. Kyuubi eagerly stood up, suddenly nervous as he stared at the entrance of the foyer. He wasn't ready to confront the situation. He didn't want to confront it at all, yet he had been waiting all morning for this moment.

Deidara walked in first, followed by Hidan alongside Itachi. Deidara smiled at him and Kyuubi returned the smile, hesitant, a small smile that quickly faded away. He took a step forward, his wavering eyes on Itachi, then the sight of Hidan as he came and stood in front of him. Kyuubi looked at him interestingly and saw that same cunning look in his eyes. But this time, there's a genuine smile, unlike his coy smirk from last night.

"Hi Kyuubi," Hidan said, reaching out his hand, he waited until Kyuubi reluctantly took his hand in a gentle shake. "I heard I wasn't on my best behavior last night."

Kyuubi shook his head. "No. I mean, I didn't take any offense to anything you did."

Hidan brought up his arm, scratching the back of his head, a sheepish grin on his face. "Well, I was told it wasn't so much of what I did, and more of what I said. And since I can't quite remember what it was that I said, I'll still like to apologize to you. I have a tendency to tell the truth when I'm drunk."

Kyuubi frowned, his eyes downcast. I have a tendency to tell the truth when I'm drunk. Hidan had whispered that part for only him to hear. That troubled Kyuubi, but he doesn't have the energy at the moment to fully reflect on those words, the secrets Hidan was trying to expose. Kyuubi can't understand Hidan's motives. Hidan didn't know him well enough to owe him anything. They had only met last night. Why was he so bent on Kyuubi discovering some hidden truth? And if it was a secret, why was he exposing it? Itachi was his friend. Why sabotage his relationship? It didn't make sense.

"Excuse me." Kyuubi walked around Hidan to where Itachi stood. He looked just as horrible as Kyuubi imagined he would. It looked like he hadn't gotten much sleep either. Kyuubi looked at him, and he looked strange in a bright colored T-shirt, a change from his usually dark colored clothing. The shirt didn't suit him at all, but it brought a smile to Kyuubi's face, one he was able to keep in place without much effort. "I'm glad you're home safe." He wrapped his arms around Itachi, bringing him close and hugging him. His body screamed in pain from just the small act, but he held on, nuzzling his face in the crook of Itachi's neck. "I was so worried."

"Kyuubi," Itachi said, his voice barely above a whisper as he gently pulled Kyuubi's arms from around him. "Not right now. I need a fucking drink."

Kyuubi stepped aside, Itachi's shoulder brushing past him as he walked away and Kyuubi found himself again helpless.

"Hidan," Deidara called out. He cocked his head to Itachi's direction and Hidan grinned, automatically understanding what didn't need to be said as he swiftly moved after him.

When the pair are out of his sight, Deidara turned to Kyuubi. He saw him trying to fight back the tears, the deep cut on his bottom lip from last night, now slightly swollen. "How are you doing, Kyuubi?" It had become a casual habit now for him to ask that question.

Kyuubi forced a smile, doing what he does best. Lying. "I'm fine. Thank you for looking after him."

"He's our friend. We'll always look after him."

"Is that your shirt he's wearing?"

Deidara chuckled. "Yes. It's not a very good fit, is it? It's quite snug on him."

Kyuubi grinned as he weighed the options of what looked funnier on his boyfriend. "The color is a little odd on him. But it does show off his muscles which I'm sure is something he appreciates."

"Yes, his muscles," Deidara said admiringly. "I'm ashamed to admit that's something of his I've been jealous of for a very long time."

Kyuubi's smile widened as he raised an eyebrow. Deidara wasn't very muscular, but he did have muscles. His frame was just slightly leaner. Itachi's physique has always been admirable, from his broad shoulders to his firm biceps to his trimmed abs. It was funny now hearing this was something Deidara has been insecure about. If anyone was to be insecure of their body, Kyuubi thought it would've been him. Yet, he can't recall a time he has ever envied Itachi's muscles, and maybe that was because Itachi loved complimenting him on his less intimidating, slimmer figure. Itachi told him almost everyday how beautiful he was, so much that Itachi couldn't keep his hands off him. Hearing those compliments wiped away any doubts or insecurities Kyuubi had about his body. If the sexiest man he had ever laid eyes on, could tell him he was the most beautiful man in the world, then Kyuubi had no reason to doubt him, or want to change and become anything more than he was. Itachi instilled that security in him from the start, so much that Itachi wanted to keep him all to himself, and as complicated and twisted as it was, there was something truly endearing underneath it all.

"Don't take this the wrong way," Kyuubi said awkwardly, "but I think your body compliments you well."

Deidara threw his head back as he erupted into a deep laugh. He looked at Kyuubi, saw his face turn bright red as he looked away embarrassed. "I haven't laughed that hard in a very long time, Kyuubi."

"it sounded much better in my head," Kyuubi admitted, sheepish as he shook his head. "That was a very weird thing for me to say."

"Don't be embarrassed." Deidara patted him on the shoulder. "You meant well. I appreciate the compliment."

Hinata walked over and greeted Deidara, offering him a drink, a small glass cup with ice cold water and a lemon wedged on the side. Deidara gratefully accepted the refreshment and for a moment he and Hinata talked, catching up briefly, before Deidara inquired about the rest of the maids. Sakura was still busy in the kitchen cleaning up while Ino was somewhere in the mansion tending to her chores.

"She's not hiding from me, is she?" Deidara asked, a knowing look on his face.

Hinata smiled. "I'll make sure she comes see you before you leave."

"Thank you, Hinata." Deidara kept his eyes on her as she walked away. He sighed, rubbing his temples. "I don't know why she does this every time I come over."

"She has a crush on you," Kyuubi told him, as if it was the most obvious thing. "But I have a feeling you knew that."

Deidara tilted his head back, staring up at the ceiling. "She's a very sweet girl. She reminds me a lot of my younger sister and because of that, I developed a soft spot for her. She might have mistaken my intentions for something more, but ever since then, she's become very shy with me. It does tend to get a little awkward sometimes."

"It's cute," Kyuubi said.

"It's very flattering." They stood in silence for a while until Deidara stepped forward. Kyuubi looked up at him curiously. "Is there somewhere private we can talk?"

"We can go upstairs."

Kyuubi led Deidara up the spiral staircase to Itachi's bedroom where Deidara made himself comfortable on the edge of the bed while Kyuubi decided to keep a distance, leaning against the dresser opposite the massive bed.

"So," Deidara said after a moment of silence, "will you now tell me what happened last night?"

Kyuubi closed his eyes, then exhaled as he opened them to glance down at his feet. "I got him to calm down."

"Yes, you did, and I'm grateful to you for that. It would've taken quite a lot of effort to get him under control and I'm not sure we would've been able to succeed before the authorities would've had to get involved. So thank you, Kyuubi." Deidara sighed. "Can I ask how you did it?"

Kyuubi chuckled nervously. "It's just a few bruises. It's not a big deal."

"What you consider a big deal might be different from my own interpretation."

Kyuubi swallowed the lump down his throat, exhaling softly. "When he gets like that, usually I'm able to bring him back by just talking to him. He comes back… a little at a time."

"Can I take a look?" Deidara asked.

"I don't…"

"How can I hope to be a good doctor if I can't even help a friend? I'm not here to judge you. I just want to help." Deidara assured him and when Kyuubi reluctantly lifted up his shirt, it took Deidara a considerable amount of effort to keep his composure. The sides of his torso were an ugly mixture of black and blue. It was horrifying as much as it looked painful, and Deidara could only wonder how Kyuubi was able to breathe properly without toppling over. "How did this happen?"

"When I went inside the room, he was pacing. He was taking off his jacket, unbuttoning his shirt. He kept saying he was hot, that he couldn't breathe. I called out his name and he turned and saw me and it was like he wasn't really looking at me. Like he was looking at somebody that wasn't there. He charged at me and hit me, knocked me to the ground. Then he started kicking me, and I covered my mouth to stop from screaming. He just kept going and at some point, I screamed out his name so he would stop. And he did. I saw him, kinda stumble back, the daze look was gone from his eyes. I sat up and was just staring at him, and that's when you walked in."

"You must be in a lot of pain."

Kyuubi sighed tiredly. "It hurts like hell."

"You do a good job of hiding it." Deidera walked over to him and leaned down to carefully inspect the damage, his fingers gently tracing over the bruising area. "How bad is the pain from one to ten?"

"About seven when I'm standing, ten when I'm lying down."

"Didn't get much sleep then?"

"No, not much."

"Are you taking any painkillers?"

"Um, just some over the counter ones Itachi has lying around."

Deidara moved back, sitting down on the bed. "I'll write you a prescription for something stronger to help you sleep. In the mean time, I'll recommend you come by the hospital for a proper examination. Make sure nothing is cracked or broken. I'll send in a note to get you seen as soon as possible."

Kyuubi nodded his head, pulling his shirt down. "Just like before."

Deidara cleared his throat. He had that serious look on his face, the one only a doctor could really pull off. "Let me ask you a question and give me a sincere answer."

Kyuubi nodded his head.

"How much more of this do you think you can take before you finally decide enough is enough?"

Kyuubi sighed. "I don't know."

"I feel like I'm failing you, Kyuubi," Deidara said culpably. "As a doctor, as a friend, I feel like I'm not doing enough."

"Please, don't do that. I can't have you blaming yourself for my choices. You're not forcing me to stay. This has nothing to do with you. It's my relationship. It's my decision."

"And he's my best friend," Deidara said, softly interrupting Kyuubi as he looked at him. "And I can't help him."

Kyuubi walked over and sat beside Deidara. He forced a smile. "Best friend, huh? Can I ask why there's this weird tension between the two of you?"

Deidara softly chuckled. "Tension?"

"Yes," Kyuubi affirmed. "There's a lot of passive aggression I've noticed. You don't seem very close at times, almost like you both can't stand each other. Tell me I'm not crazy."

"No, you're not crazy," Deidara said, laughing softly. He leaned back, his hands planted steady in the soft mattress. "I wish Itachi would be the one telling you this story, but our story goes way back to when we were kids. Itachi's mother, Mikoto, was best friends with my mother. A month after Itachi was born, my mother gave birth to me. We were practically raised together. We did everything together. We were inseparable. When Mikoto died, it was like I had lost my own mother. Itachi and I shared each other's grief and for some time, Itachi came to live with my family and I. Two years later, he lost his father to depression. It was a very difficult time for him, you can imagine. Since then, our bond was stronger than it had ever been. And as we experienced life together, we shared every thing with one another. Puberty was no different, and as we grew into our teenage years, something shifted in our friendship and it transformed into something we didn't understand then, until we explored it."

"What does that mean?" Kyuubi asked.

Deidara grinned, reliving the memory. "There were these new feelings suddenly when we were near each other. I became shy when he would look at me for too long, and Itachi became more expressive, the constant need to touch me in some way. One afternoon after school in our sophomore year, we were watching a movie in my room, an intimate scene came on, and Itachi reached over, grabbed me, leaned down and kissed me, and before we knew it, we both discovered something very special about ourselves." Deidara chuckled. "It must be so very awkward listening to this."

Kyuubi shook his head. "No, it's fine."

"I found myself in love with my best friend. But when it came down to committing myself into a relationship with him, I couldn't do it." He sighed. "After Itachi lost his parents, something faltered inside of him. He was very erratic, temperamental, unstable. He was kind to me, always showed me the best parts of himself, but I wasn't blind to the troubled side that was present to everyone else. I did my best to pretend I didn't see it. The outbursts, the anger, the violence. In that way, I had become his biggest enabler. I couldn't tell him no. Everything he did was right in my eyes. And after that afternoon together, I was practically a lovesick puppy. And then the next day, I stood idly by as he beat up our classmate to a pulp. And even then, I wondered what the classmate had done, tried to find a reason to justify the attack. At the end, it had just been misplaced anger. Itachi had a bad morning and our classmate just happened to be the first person in his sight. That was an eye opener. A week later, after his expulsion, Itachi asked me to officially be his boyfriend, and I broke his heart in a way he hasn't been able to forgive me for since then."

"Were you afraid of him?" Kyuubi asked softly.

"No, I'm not afraid of him," Deidara said. "But I know he can hurt me and he will if he's angry enough. But at that time, I wasn't thinking about me. I was thinking about him. If I allowed myself to be in love with Itachi, I could not give him the help he needed. I'm not doing very well now but I'm trying. I try my best to be around when he needs me. I wasn't the right person for him. I wouldn't challenge him to be better. I would be too compliant."

"I think, maybe, you are what he needs," Kyuubi said. "The water to his fire. Sometimes I feel like I'm the gasoline. I just make him worse. I don't know when to quit when I'm ahead."

Deidara chuckled. "I think it's quite the opposite. Itachi very much hates when he's policed, and unfortunately, I've been known to be quite the mother hen at times. You can imagine how that could create a conflict between us."

"Mother hen?" Kyuubi said, laughing.

"Yes, I'm a lot like my mother in that way. Of course being the oldest to a younger sister also aided in that."

"How old is your sister?" Kyuubi asked.

"Seventeen," Deidara replied, smiling. "Just last month she turned."

"Same age as my brother," Kyuubi said, a frown suddenly on his face.

"Naruto, right?"

Kyuubi looked at Deidara, smiling as he nodded.

"From what Itachi told me, he helped a lot in planning the party last night."

Kyuubi simply nodded.

"Sasuke's very smart. What happened last night, was probably more of his idea than your brother's."

Kyuubi sighed, frustrated. "I don't even know how they got in contact. For how long, the details. I don't know anything."

"Neither do we," Deidara admitted, casually leaning back. "But I'm heading over to see him after I leave here. Hopefully, he's in a talking mood."

"You're so calm about all of this."

"Believe it or not, things could've been a lot worse."

Kyuubi kept his eyes down, a shadow of doubt fell over his face as he brought his head inside his hands. "I don't know how to help him. I don't know how to fix him."

"The longest relationship Itachi's had that I've known of, lasted about two months. Compare that to the two years you two have been together, that tells me Itachi has found something in you worth holding onto. Something he's not ready to lose. I can see it from just the way he looks at you. And I can imagine, despite the difficulties, you've found something of the same value in him. But I don't want you to feel you can never leave. You can, and when that time comes, you'll have my support."

Kyuubi looked at Deidara, a sad look in his eyes. "You just told me he's your best friend. How can you ask me to leave him?"

"To help him."

"Am I stupid for staying?"

Deidara smiled softly. "If it was that easy of a question to answer, then we'd all be stupid for falling in love. We don't choose who we fall in love with. But sometimes, it's worth choosing happiness with yourself, than a life of misery with someone you love. And that can be a very hard choice, believe me."

"I've thought about it, I've made up my mind once," Kyuubi admitted. "But then, I try to think of a life without him, and I can't imagine it. I wake up and the first thing I think about is him. I go to bed and I fall asleep thinking about him. It's more than just the bruises, the insults, the other things. There's so much more."

"In the end, it's your choice, Kyuubi."

Kyuubi nodded, the conflict shun through his eyes as he mulled over the different things in his head all at once. He looked lost, in complete turmoil as he held back the tears begging to slip through. "I want to help him, Dei."

"Hm." Deidara pondered on something for a while. "Back in high school, I managed to get Itachi into therapy. I went with him to his sessions for some time. It helped him considerably. Then as it got tougher, he quit. If you can convince him to start going again, I'll be very impressed."

Kyuubi scoffed. "He's not going to listen to me."

Deidara shrugged. "Give it a shot." He looked at Kyuubi and could see him contemplating, desperate for any kind of resolve. Deidara reached out his hand and grabbed Kyuubi's chin, moving his head slightly. "That cut looks pretty bad."

"Please don't do that." Kyuubi swiftly stood up, backing away. He caught the confusion on Deidara's face and he sighed as he leaned against the dresser. "I'm sorry. If Itachi saw us just now, he might get the wrong impression."

Deidara nodded. "I understand."

The door slammed open and Itachi walked inside his bedroom, visibly upset. Deidera stood up and Kyuubi moved to take his spot on the bed, Deidara's lingering cologne, a dance of bergamot and lavender, enticed him as he sat down.

Itachi walked over to his dresser and untied his hair from its ponytail. "Get out, I want to sleep," he grumbled, staring at Deidara through the mirror.

Deidara turned to Kyuubi, grinning. "This guy," he said, pointing at Itachi. "Always a breath of fresh air."

Itachi's long hair rained over his shoulders as he shrugged off his shirt, tossing it over to Deidara.

Deidara was one foot out of the door when Hidan abruptly came rushing in, nearly bumping into him.

"Oh, we forgot to tell you," Hidan said, his eyes on Kyuubi. "We gathered all of your gifts from the party last night. I left them with Hinata downstairs."

"Thank you."

Hidan grinned. "Make sure you open mine first."

Kyuubi chuckled softly. "Okay."

"Itachi, I'll call you later." Deidara pushed Hidan out of the room, exiting alongside him.

"Kyuubi!" Hidan called out just as Deidara began to close the door. "Don't be a stranger."

The door closed and Kyuubi continued to stare at it, lost in thought. A lot was unloaded on him today and he doesn't know how to fully process it all.

"What are you looking at?"

Kyuubi looked up at Itachi, his back facing him. "Nothing."

"What were you two talking about in here?"

"Nothing," Kyuubi answered softly.

Itachi turned around, his eyes set in a hard glare. "Is nothing your fucking word of the day?"

Kyuubi found himself dumbfounded by the sudden attack. "Don't speak to me that way. Not after last night."

Itachi returned his attention to the dresser as he fished out a shirt before quickly pulling it on. When he's done, he closed his eyes, simply taking a moment to breathe, yet that didn't seem enough. Gazing down, he watched his hands clenching the edge of the dresser. He shook his head, desperate to find some calm. He swallowed down the lump in his throat, forcing himself strong. He looked up in the mirror, satisfied with the mask in place.

"Did you hear from your parents?" he asked softly, turning around to face Kyuubi.

Kyuubi glanced at his hands restless over his lap."They called this morning but I didn't feel like talking to anyone."

"I owe them an apology. We should visit them tomorrow. I was thinking we could bring them some food, some wine, nice gifts. I can't think of anything else at the moment."

"I think what you just said is enough. They'll appreciate it."

"What about your brother?" Itachi asked. "Have you heard from him?"

Kyuubi gently shook his head. "Like I said, I didn't want to talk to anyone."

Itachi leaned against the dresser, his arms folded across his chest. "He called me this morning, said he wanted to see me, talk to me in person. Since we're going over your place tomorrow, I'll just see him then."

"Mhm," Kyuubi said, staring off, then collecting himself, a small smile appearing on his face. "Sakura came to me this morning and apologized. Did you say something to her?"

"No."

Kyuubi hadn't expected that answer, the abrupt way Itachi had said it. Kyuubi looked up at him, caught off guard, then quickly looked away, suddenly uneasy. His heart began to race, the palms of his hand suddenly warm and wet.

"What's wrong with you?" Itachi asked.

Kyuubi sighed, and all of a sudden it hurt just to breathe. "Noth— I mean, I'm fine."

"Don't lie to me."

Itachi took a step towards him and Kyuubi hurriedly stood up, backing away. His wavering eyes full of fear as he looked Itachi in the eye, searching for something that wasn't there last night. He saw the corners of Itachi's mouth pull up into a smile as he took another step towards him and Kyuubi again recoiled.

"What?" Itachi chuckled. "You're afraid of me?"

"I'm always afraid of you," Kyuubi whispered.

"Don't say that. You're not fucking afraid of me, Kyuubi. You're not."

"Do you remember what happened last night?"

Itachi shrugged. "Glimpses. Deidara filled me in this morning. I know Sasuke was there. I know I lost it. Can't remember much else other than I might have hit you, according to Deidara. So?"

"So what?"

"Did I give you that cut on your lip?"

Kyuubi silently nodded.

"Did I do anything else?"

Kyuubi sighed, throwing his head back, he shook his head, then laced his fingers inside his hair, desperate to rip out his own hair as he looked at his boyfriend in complete dismay. "You were gone, Itachi. Completely gone. You were there but it's like you weren't. You were pacing, talking to yourself. I called your name, you looked at me, and its like you didn't see me. I've seen you angry, Itachi. I've seen you countless time lose your temper and you've hit me before. But, last night, I really thought you would kill me. And I can't stop seeing that person from last night. I'm looking at you, and I'm scared he's going to come back. I'm scared he's going to hurt me."

"What did I do?"

Kyuubi slowly lifted up his shirt, and the tears spilled out his eyes as he convulsed. "I know that part of you exist. You told me, and I know. But I never thought I would see him. I never wanted to see that part of you and now that I have, I'm afraid."

Itachi's face twisted with anger and betrayal. He turned to the dresser, covering his mouth as he felt the tears behind his eyes. "Deidara didn't tell me. He didn't fucking tell me." His voice broke along with the mask, the tears streamed down his face as he paced back and forth. "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!"

"Itachi, it's okay."

"It's not okay!" Itachi shouted, stalking towards Kyuubi. "It's not fucking okay, Kyuubi. I never wanted you to see me that way. I'm not that person. I'm not, baby. I'm a good person, I promise. I'm a good person. I just have issues. I have a lot of issues." He fell on his knees, crying. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Itachi, stop crying. I don't know what to do."

Kyuubi brought himself down and held Itachi in his arms as he cried. Together they cried, each for their own affliction. They cried, a man who wanted to change and another who wanted to aid in that change without knowing how. And in that moment, Kyuubi remembered Deidara's words. If I allowed myself to be in love with Itachi, I could not give him the help he needed. Because even now, as afraid as he was, suddenly that didn't matter anymore. Itachi was crying. He apologized. It could be a one time thing, and now he began to wonder. Was one bad night worth the loss of two years of progress and sacrifices? They had made it past other challenges. This one would be no different.

"I won't give up on you," Kyuubi whispered. "I know where I met you. I know where you came from. You told me I couldn't love you. I told you I would try. I've tried. Two years. I'll keep trying. But I'm so tired, and I want to run away. But when you cry, I cry. You're broken, Itachi. And I can't help put you back together if you won't let me. I want to help you. Let me help you."

"Stop," Itachi whispered. "Please."

Kyuubi didn't say anything else. The tears had stopped, but still they clinged onto this fragile moment between them. This was the closest they have ever felt to each other in the two years they have shared together.

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This was one of the hardest chapters I've ever written. Thanks for reading as always. Leave some reviews and comments!