A/N: Did someone say angst? Oh, there's loads of it here. Of the Densi variety. Related to the last sneak peek posted for Love Kills.

"So how was the rest of your day," Kensi asked. He groaned and shifted on his side, keeping his cell wedged between his shoulder and cheek.

"Well, the fitness instructor made sure I got lots of running practice in. He told me before I left campus that he's going to have me run extra laps tomorrow. Apparently my performance was "mediocre," he said, using air quotes she couldn't see. That had been an unpleasantly direct blow to his already flailing self-esteem.

"I'm sure he didn't mean it like that." Kensi's voice sounded a little tinny and distant, like she was traveling under a tunnel or something.

"I don't think there's any other way to take mediocre. It basically says you're just not terrible enough to get kicked out yet." He knew he sounded whiny. Or worse, pathetic, but it had been a truly awful day.

There was a marked silence, followed by a slight noise, maybe a sigh and then she cheerfully asked,

"So, do you have any plans tonight? It is your first weekend at FLETC." The thought of doing anything that required moving made him a little nauseous.

"Other than sleeping? Not really," he said with a bitter chuckle.

"Mm, well now you do." He frowned as someone knocked on the door and Kensi added, "Open the door, babe."

He hopped off the bed-ok, rolled-and then slowly walked to the door, not really believing she was on the other side of the door.

"Kensi, what are you doing here?" She looked like she'd left straight from work, not even bothering to take off her badge which was still hooked onto the waistband of her jeans.

"I came to see you." He saw her eyes flick around his barren room, dimly lit by a couple lamps. It wasn't exactly a cheerful atmosphere.

"I don't think we're really supposed to have visitors," Deeks pointed out, still a little surprised to have her standing there in front of him. He hadn't expected to see her for at least three months outside of on a tiny screen during video calls.

"I know, but you sounded lonely," she said, reaching up to brush his hair, unevenly hanging around his temple. "And you look exhausted." Her fingers trailed down to touch beneath his eyelids.

His shoulders caved at the gentle concern in her voice and he tugged her past the threshold and against his chest, not caring when the impact made his chest ache.

"I am. God, I am so tired," he murmured, breathing deeply to get as much of her scent as he could. She didn't interrupt as he slid his nose along her neck, finding a home in the softness of her hair, just smoothed her hands up and down his back. "And I really missed you."

"Me too," she sighed. Her voice cracked and she lifted his chin, kissing him deeply. "I didn't think it would be this bad."

"Just three more months." It seemed like a lifetime. Assuming he made it that long. She gently cupped his jaw, her touch soothing him more than anything else could.

"What do you need?"

"Lie down with me?" He hated the vulnerability, the desperate need, but Kensi didn't say anything. She just let her hand slide down his arm until their fingers linked and then slowly led him the few feet to the bed. He was already barefoot and in a t-shirt and sweats, but Kensi paused to strip off her shoes and jacket.

He laid down on the bed, which was just big enough for the two of them, closing his eyes as Kensi curled around him, twining their legs together. It was the most at peace he'd felt in days and he felt a fine tremor vibrating through his body.

"You're going to do great," Kensi whispered, stroking her finger back and forth across the skin just above his collar. "And you are not weak, or old, or a failure in any way. You are everything I want in a partner and a husband."

"What if I don't make it? I mean, it's a very real possibility, Kens," he said, voicing what neither of them wanted to. Kensi's thumb paused for a half-second before she resumed the same gentle rhythm.

"I don't believe that going to happen. I have faith in you." She lifted her head so she could look him directly in the eye. "And even if you do, you still won't be a failure."

His eyes filled with tears and he didn't even try to stop them as he clutched Kensi against him fiercely.

"I love you so much."

"I love you too. And I'm still here, even if there's hundreds of miles between us."

He slept well for the first time in days.