Chapter 6: The Less-Great Escape

Sirius regained his ability to speak rather quickly, making use of it by promptly shouting, "SANS!"

"that's my name, don't wear it out." The skeleton looked around himself curiously, white eye-lights lazily glancing over the dusty boxes. He stuffed his hands deep into his hoodie's pockets and rocked back on his feet, posture perfectly relaxed. "not what i expected. a bit bare bones, honestly."

It was such a normal thing, Sans making puns, that Sirius couldn't do anything but smile and laugh. Smile and laugh and be happy that Sans was safe—not caught (or worse) but standing right there and just, well… making puns. In tired but relieved agreement, he nodded. "You can say that again."

"i could, but that'd be redundant." He waved a dismissive hand. "anyway, on the topic of expectations… i'm guessing this isn't quite what you planned."

"What clued you in? The fact that I literally voiced my confusion aloud just a few seconds ago?"

"actually, i picked up on it because of the swarm of flying demon-cloak-things."

Silence. Sirius stared at the short skeleton, mouth slightly agape.

"i mean, i'd hope you hadn't actually wanted to bring us to a gathering of evil sentient rags," Sans continued, seeing that his wizard companion was clearly at a loss. "that'd be kinda rude, ya know."

Sirius puzzled out what he had been told, mumbling, "What…? 'Flying demon-cloak-things'? 'Evil sentient rags'…?" And then he realized: "You mean to tell me there were Dementors?!"

"sure, if that's what those were called."

"But then you—" He didn't bother finishing his thought, choosing instead to check his friend over, clearly concerned. "…Sans, are you alright?"

Sans rubbed the back of his skull with one hand, not sure how to respond. He was fine, magically speaking: he hadn't used much of his reserves when he attacked the whatchamacallits. Although, to be honest, now that he wasn't focused on trailing the wizard in black, he did feel a bit… off. So, though Sirius didn't know it, he quickly CHECKED himself.

Tendrils of magic were drawn up and directed to pass through his bones, invisible and all but undetectable to anyone else. They faded away with a thought, only leaving behind traces for Sans to, well, check. Mentally quantifying his observations, everything seemed to be perfectly normal at first: 1 HP, 1 ATK, 1 DEF, his normal (frankly obscenely large) quantity of magic… and yet. The best way he could describe it was that his SOUL almost felt heavy.

Annoyed that his CHECK hadn't helped, Sans turned back to Sirius. For a long moment he simply considered him, clearly debating something to himself. "look, i…" Sans sighed, coming to some kind of conclusion, "i trust you, so… i won't ask you to promise me anything. just…" He couldn't find the right words, but his expression was enough. Sirius knew it was important, whatever it was.

"I don't really understand, but I promise. I trust you."

The short skeleton didn't bother clarifying. Or at least, he didn't bother clarifying with words. Drawing in an unnecessary breath, Sans did his best to rally himself: he might not like it, but he knew something was off and he wanted it fixed. So, lightly tapping at the space directly above his sternum with one boney finger, he called out his SOUL. The upside-down heart shimmered into view, blue and gold lights dancing vibrantly across its silvery surface. Or at least, most of its surface.

He heard Sirius gasp, though he wasn't sure if it was because of his summoning or what it revealed.

A noxious magical residue—dull, opaque, and the color of nightmares. It oozed, festering, even as it slowly sent out oily streaks to tighten its hold on him. Sans couldn't help but draw unsettling parallels to another SOUL, stained and possessed, and he suppressed a shudder. At least that meant he knew what to do. He gently poked his SOUL, blue magic flashing at his fingertip, and sparked an incongruently violent reaction as the gunk was ripped away and torn to rapidly-vanishing shreds. The uncomfortable weight he had been feeling disappeared. After a few more seconds checking it over, he finally let the inverted heart fade safely back into his chest.

"…why are you staring at me?"

"Definitely not because you just randomly pulled a glowing heart out of your chest. It couldn't possibly be because of that," Sirius deadpanned, before quickly dropping his sarcastic tone in exchange for a curious one. "What was that?"

Sans pulled himself onto one of the boxes, short legs left dangling a few feet off the ground. "my SOUL."

"Your soul?"

"no, my SOUL," Sans repeated, as if correcting the pronunciation. Sirius couldn't really hear much of a difference. "though i suppose it's basically the same thing."

"So monsters can pull their souls right out of their chests?"

The skeleton shrugged, choosing not to correct the minute pronunciation differences a second time. "yeah, sure. i could pull out yours, too, if you're interested."

Sirius certainly looked interested, but naturally he was also more than a little uneasy about the idea. After all, the Dementor's Kiss isn't something he'd ever subject himself to willingly… though of course this method seemed completely different. But just to check: "And you're sure I won't end up a soulless husk?"

"that SOUL-dn't happen." Sirius harrumphed, the sound somewhere between a suppressed chuckle and a doubtful grumble. Sans clarified, adding, "gee, man, have some faith. it's not like i take the SOUL from you. i just… tug it out a bit."

"Does it hurt?"

Sans raised a brow, eye-lights brightening with surprise. "wow. you're actually kinda interested aren't ya?"

"No!" he was quick to correct. "Not if it hurts!"

"chillax, sirius; no need to get frosty with me. it doesn't hurt at all, just feels a bit squeeze-y."

"I'm not being 'frosty' with you, I'm… oh. That was just for the pun, wasn't it?" Sirius didn't even need to see Sans's grinning face to know the answer. He sighed, but found his unease swiftly fading: after all, this was Sans. His friend. "Yes, I admit I am interested. Would you—"

Sans's expression abruptly changed and, without any further warning, he silently vanished.

"—mind… Oh for the love of…" Sirius grumbled, crossing his arms with an eye roll before glancing around. He spotted Sans fairly quickly, since the short skeleton had only teleported to the other side of the room. "Tell me when you're going to do that, or at least don't interup—"

"shh."

"Did you just—"

There was a sudden sharp rap at the window, cutting him off. Then another.

"AM I NOT ALLOWED TO FINISH A SENTENCE OR SOMETHING?!"

Sans gave a slight smirk but said nothing, simply nodding toward the room's sole narrow window. It seemed like Sirius wanted to gripe some more, but he stopped himself when Sans sobered, his attitude sharpening with startling intensity and focusing on the window. A second later there was a flash of light from outside. Curious, Sirius walked over and peered out.

And promptly saw what might very well have been the last thing he expected to see.

"H-Harry?!" As well as Hermione and a certain Hippogriff—and really, Buckbeak should have been the most surprising bit—but at the moment Sirius only had eyes for his godson. "What are you doing here?"

"Trying to get you out, obviously!" Harry's voice was muffled by the glass, but still audible. "The window's charmed, though, and we can't get it open! If the Dementors—" He stopped himself, clearly distressed.

Sirius shared a quick glance with Sans who, though noticeably more relaxed than before, was still standing to the side of the window and staying out of sight. "Ah, I… Well, I'm pretty sure I already have a way out…"

"Really? How?"

"Never mind that! How'd you know I was here? How'd you even get here so fast?"

"Professor Dumbledore. We've been waiting for Macnair to be sent to get the Dementors so that you could escape with Buckbeak, but now we can't even get you out! And he'll be backanyminuteand—"

Hermione, though she looked decidedly uncomfortable with being airborne, managed to put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Breathe, Harry. You're not making sense."

He paused, taking her advice with a few long gulps of air. Sirius took the chance to do… absolutely nothing: his train of thought had been well and truly derailed. Slumping against the window frame—too distracted to keep himself standing upright—Sirius seemed to mumble quietly to himself. At least that's what it looked like to Harry, who couldn't see that his godfather wasn't alone at the moment.

"Did he say… Macnair…? I thought he… Sans, he… At the Ministry," Sirius whispered over his shoulder to the eavesdropping skeleton. "I could have sworn he was there. He should have been caught. Imprisoned!"

Of course Sans, who had more experience with what was actually going on, quickly pieced together at least some of what had happened. "we must be early," he hissed back, pitching his voice so it wouldn't be heard through the glass. "close but not quite where you wanted."

Understandably, Sirius needed a moment to process what that meant. "So… what am I supposed to do now?"

"dunno. escape, i guess."

"Sirius! Focus!" Harry's voice pulled Sirius away from his hushed conversation. "We need to get you out of there!"

"What's your way?" Hermione suddenly asked.

Still in the process of sorting through what had happened, Sirius stared blankly back at her. "My way?"

She looked annoyed at having to explain. "To escape! You said that you 'already have a way out'."

"I…" He turned again to look at Sans, wondering just what exactly to tell her. The truth was obviously a no-go: both because 1) he couldn't imagine anything going well if Sans was found out, and 2) the basic fact that 'escape by teleporting skeleton' would sound outrageous to anyone not in the know.

But before he could decide on what to say, said teleporting skeleton decided to throw Sirius's reasoning out the window and answer personally. "i'll take care of that."

Sirius was glad that, for once, it wasn't him being thrown for a loop. Which isn't to say he wasn't surprised, but Harry and Hermione were both completely speechless, eyes glued to the window frame Sans was still hiding behind. When they could find the words, both had the same question: "Who's there?"

"eh, i'm nobody," Sans nonchalantly provided, startling a snort from Sirius.

"He's a friend. Trust me, he can get me out of here." It might have taken him a minute or so, but Sirius was finally getting a handle on the situation. Loosing—or gaining, depending on how it's interpreted—almost two whole years is guaranteed to be disorienting. All things considered, Sirius thought he was handling it pretty well.

Harry relaxed slightly, but only slightly. "What about Buckbeak? He can't stay here."
"I know." Of course he did, now that he knew when he was. The first time around Sirius had been locked up in a different office where Hermione had been able to unlock and open the window. A bit of a glaring hole in the security system, now that he thought about it. "Land on top of the Astronomy Tower, alright?"

"What?"

"I'll meet you there and fly away with Buckbeak."

Sans poked him on the shoulder, careful to stay out of sight, and quietly asked, "can you really escape just by flying off? i'd think somebody'd notice."

Sirius shrugged. "It worked the first time."

"seriously?"

"You've already used that pun, Rattles."

"and i'll use it again," the skeleton was quick to shoot back. "with a name like yours it's basically a guarantee."

Before Sirius could reply, Harry spoke up again. "What are you talking about?" He tried to peer further into the office, hoping to catch a glimpse of whoever was in there with his godfather. "What's rattling? Is someone trying to get in?"

"No, no. He just had a question, that's all."

"Are you going to tell us who 'he' is?" Hermione asked, tone suspicious but not untrusting (in Sirius, at least).

"uh, no."

Sirius cut in before anyone could say anything else: effectively cutting off any further questions. "Can you get me there?"

"to the astronomy tower? if i knew which one, then sure."

"It's the tallest one at Hogwarts," Harry answered.

Sans hadn't really explored the castle all that much, having basically just monitored Sirius from afar before shortcutting directly to him. He had, however, gotten a pretty good look at the outside. "i think i know which one you're talkin' about, so i can get you to the roof."

"Alright then." Sirius directed his attention back at the kids outside. "I'll meet you there, Harry. Go!"

"Go? But you're—"

"I promise I'll be there waiting by the time you arrive."

"But how?" Hermione demanded.

"magic, duh."

Sans tugged Sirius away from the window, out of sight, and onto the roof of the Astronomy Tower. A dangerously strong wind whipped around them, brisk and insistent. As soon as the change of scenery registered, Sirius sat himself down and quickly scooted back from the edge of the roof. The skeleton, however, took a step toward it. He stared up at the sky, having been too distracted by various things since arrival to really notice or appreciate it. And now that he was looking at it, seeing the full moon shining brightly from behind parting clouds, amidst scattered stars, he couldn't help but compare. His eyes dimmed slightly. This night sky stretched far over his head, new and unfamiliar. So unlike…

"Merlin's balls! Care to give me some warning next time!?"

"nah," Sans casually replied, pulling away from his depressing thoughts with practiced ease as he fixed a grin onto his face. "the kids'll be here soon, so what's the plan-et now?"

The wizard escapee crossed his arms, thinking. "Right. The plan."

Sans blinked. "you don't have a plan do you."

"What! No, I do, it's—" His eyes widened with realization. "I don't need a plan!"

"sirius. sirius that sounds like a bad idea."

"Playing it by ear worked well enough the first time."

"i mean apparently," Sans said. With a sigh he placed two fingers on the bit of his skull between his eye sockets—if he had a nose he'd have be pinching the bridge of it. But then he just grinned, stuffing his hands back into his pockets with a shrug. "eh, whatever."

And then he vanished again.

Sirius threw his hands up in a gesture of long-suffering annoyance. "I literally just said not to do that."

He was left alone with his grumbles for all of maybe three seconds before Buckbeak soared over the edge of the roof. A rush of wind accompanied their landing, along with significant noise as the shingles cracked under the Hippogriff's weight.

"Harry!" Sirius, unable to help himself, called out, "What took you so long?"

"I can't believe it," Hermione breathed, staring in disbelief.

Harry slid off of Buckbeak, helped his shocked friend off, then turned his full attention to his godfather. "You're here! I have no idea how… but you're here!"

"Yes, and a magician never reveals his tricks." If Sans were the one delivering that line he would've been winking in the frustrating-yet-somehow-endearing way he had perfected. But since it was Sirius it was a confident-bordering-on-cocky smirk instead.

Hermione was less than pleased. She mumbled something under her breath that may or may not have been something along the lines of: "It wasn't your trick. You were just the assistant who vanished."

It was a comeback Sans—who was listening in through an incomplete shortcut—could appreciate. He was currently on the other side of the school grounds, sitting criss-cross just out of range of a strangely murderous tree. The violent plant provided excellent cover against any potential snoopers, so Sans was allowed to focus on keeping his shortcut's energy connected to the tower roof for spying purposes. That connection was basically the reason he had never been caught teleporting all over the place: it served as a security camera, letting Sans know if anyone would be around when he popped in. After things in the Underground had started to… worsen, he'd cleverly re-purposed the helpful trick for keeping an eye on things.

"Sirius, you'd better go, quick," Harry rushed, apparently pushing his surprise and whatever else he must have been thinking to the side in favor of the larger problem. "They'll reach that office any moment, they'll find out you're gone."

It was an accurate point. Plus, if Sirius was remembering things correctly, Harry and Hermione were under their own rather strict, somewhat literal time constraint. He turned to Buckbeak and bowed: thankfully he didn't have to wait long to get the powerful beast's permission to ride. But he paused once he had settled on the Hippogriff's back. "Harry, I—"

"GO!" Both young wizards-in-training all but yelled, shooing him away with urgency.

"And try to stay out of sight!" Harry added anxiously.

"Harry, you're every inch your father's son…" Sirius proclaimed, smiling down at his godson. "But I must say… you're as good at nagging as your mum!"

The boy couldn't seem to gather himself enough to respond, his expressive green eyes betraying just how much that teasing sentence meant to him. Buckbeak spread his wings and, with a powerful stroke, took to the sky.

His godfather still had a lot he wanted to say, but he couldn't possibly fit it all in right that instant. "I'd say 'write me', but I doubt that'd work well! I'll stay in contact, though!" Sirius's voice was growing faint as he flew farther away. "Don't worry!"

Harry kept watching until he couldn't see any trace of the escapee, but Hermione spent that time trying to figure out how to get inside without accidentally killing herself. "Come on, we need to get back befo—"

It was then that Sans went ahead and cut off the connection. He had a crazy wizard to follow. Again.

(At least he was conscious this time.)

=X=X=X=

It took the better part of the rest of the night for Sirius to find a secluded enough place to land without being too worried that the Ministry would leap out at him from the bushes. It was nestled in a small valley and suited his needs perfectly: a decently sized clearing—large enough for a Hippogriff and a person or two, at least—surrounded by trees and a thick, presumably non-magical forest. Sirius thought it would provide good cover. Buckbeak seemed pretty relaxed, having curled up to get some well deserved rest, so he took that as a good sign. Well, he had traveled pretty far, hopefully far enough to stay hidden but not so far that he accidentally abandoned his skeletal friend. At this point he could only hope that Sans would be able to find him…

He glanced around himself suspiciously.

Sans didn't pop in out of nowhere.

The trees around the edge of the clearing rustled as a soft breeze passed through. Buckbeak quietly huffed as he settled into his chosen patch of grass and dirt. Sirius continued to scan the area.

"Little bugger's probably just waiting for me to relax so he can spook me again," he mumbled to himself, perfectly sane. No, seriously. "Well, not this time, Rattles! I'm on to your ga—"

"what are you even…?"

"—MMEE! HA!" Sirius spun around, triumphant. "I knew it!"

"uh, congrats." Sans didn't seem particularly impressed: closer to 'vaguely confused' than anything else.

The confusion was probably because Sirius had just turned his back on him. This was because, contrary to the wizard's expectations, Sans hadn't teleported in behind him. The skeleton had actually been walking over from where he had appeared at the far edge of the clearing, not wanting to risk startling the Hippogriff and having to deal with anything that would entail. Sirius turned back around. "You win this round."

Sans's confusion vanished with a sneaky grin that was a pretty good indicator that he had known what his friend was on about the whole time. Known and probably planned around, to be honest. "glad you got that out of the way. where to now?"

"I don't know."

"well, what'd ya do the first time?"

Sirius shrugged. "Fled the country."

"really." Sans sighed. "i can guess why you wouldn't wanna do that again. any other ideas?"

"Give me a break, Rattles, it's not like I could just…" He paused as a thought struck. "Wait, I do have a house."

"you sure? you don't sound really sure."

Sirius nodded. "I'm pretty sure it's empty right now."

"and you didn't go there the first time… why?"

He paused for a moment, trying to find the right words. "I… don't really like the place. That and it would be really hard to secure it without a wand all by myself." His eyes suddenly widened and he slapped his forehead. "Merlin's balls— I still don't have a wand."

"then where is your wand? it couldn't just wand-er off."

It was unclear if Sirius caught the pun and ignored it or simply didn't notice it at all. "Confiscated by the Ministry when I was first imprisoned. I'm lucky they didn't just snap it."

"so we just need to go get it?"

"You can't just waltz into the Minis… oh, 'shortcuts'. Right."

So Sirius had a plan, kind of. First, infiltrate the Ministry of Magic. Second, somehow find his wand there. He hadn't figured out how, exactly, but he would leave that to the infiltrator: Sans, of course. Third, get out and get to Grimmauld Place. Once there, secure it. A Fidelius should do nicely, now that he won't be hiding alone. Forth… well, he'll worry about that after he gets there.

Yeah… he wasn't looking forward to step three.

Author's Note:

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or Undertale.

So first, a quick note since I'm not sure what sorts of alerts this site sends out. If you weren't aware, I edited chapter 4 about two weeks ago (as of posting this chapter). You should check up on that if you haven't.

Ah, the less-great escape from Hogwarts imprisonment. Because let's be honest, escaping the infinite void between worlds is a bit more impressive.
Anyway, let's take a glimpse into Harry and Hermione's minds after things settle down: "Who the crap was that? Where was he a few hours ago?! How'd he... what? I... What?" They will want answers. But will they ever get them?
Well I mean probably. Later.

Thank you to everyone who has reviewed! I'm so surprised and unbelievably happy that so many of you guys have taken the time to write! They're so fun to read through. Plus it's a great motivator: knowing people care. Can't let myself let all you guys down, now can I?

Laundrycannon: Oh, I have plans... there will be a boggart. It will be, shall I say, stressful for everyone involved.

Speerut: One character in a strange new world is basically my favorite thing ever.

WildRosa13474: Snape was so far out of his element so quickly, he just... couldn't anything for a moment.

See ya on the flipside, everyone!