Chapter 26: Secrets for School Supplies

Terror At The Quidditch World Cup
by Rita Skeeter

The unthinkable happened this past night, just hours after the exciting conclusion of the Quidditch World Cup, as swarms of Death Eaters stormed the campgrounds surrounding the pitch. It was chaos, witches and wizards fleeing desperately into the forest: screams of fear and pain filling the once peaceful night air. Wicked spells lit up the terrifying scene, destruction following in their wake. Muggles and muggle-borns alike were caught into the air, tortured and humiliated.

Ministry security on site was woefully underprepared for such an assault, with many of the officers having joined in with the post-game revelry. This sheer incompetence allowed the attackers to sweep through the campgrounds with hardly any opposition. By the time officials finally mustered enough force to possibly turn the tide, it was much too late. The Death Eaters had already declared their own victory—the Dark Mark rising in the sky—and swiftly vanished back into the night.

Aurors were able to apprehend only fourteen of the attackers.

Or at least, that's what they'd have you believe.

Exclusive interviews with several wizards and witches who had been on the scene paint quite a different picture—one that, as astonishing as it might sound, claims that those fourteen attackers were eliminated by a single individual before any Ministry officials even reached the scene.

"I know that it sounds unbelievable," said young Cedric Diggory, Hogwarts prefect for Hufflepuff. "I mean, I was there—I saw it!—and even I think it was crazy!"

Those near where the Death Eaters had been apprehended recall having felt an incredible weight of magic pressing down on them, seeming to originate from a lone figure draped in blue and white light. This courageous act, singlehandedly holding back the rioters' advance, saved countless innocent lives from the assault.

The Minister for Magic, Cornelius Fudge, was unable to be reached for comment confirming or denying this incredible feat. Given how well the Ministry handled the rest of this catastrophe, perhaps that silence speaks for itself.

Although nobody knows who mysterious individual was or precisely what happened—as, of course, anyone would take the distraction provided as a chance to get to safety—the entire camp witnessed what happened to the Dark Mark overhead. Just as the night seemed darkest, with the monstrous symbol of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named looming in the sky above, suddenly cracks of brilliant white lanced through the colossal image. In mere moments, the horror shattered into nothing but specks of rapidly fading light.

The Minister refused to comment on that as well.

If the terrified wizards and witches who waited breathlessly for news at the edge of the wood expected reassurance from the Ministry of Magic, they were sadly disappointed. A Ministry official emerged some time after the appearance and subsequent destruction of the Dark Mark alleging that nobody had been hurt, but refusing to give any more information. Whether this statement will be enough to quash the rumors that several bodies were removed from the woods an hour later remains to be seen.

=X=X=X=

"Sweet merciful heavens," Remus breathed, looking down at the paper in his hands. Or, more specifically, the headline emblazoned across the front page.

There had been a Death Eater attack at the Quidditch World Cup.

More to the point—and much more interestingly, given what Remus knew—the attack had been halted in its tracks. Nobody knew who had done it, though that didn't stop the paper from speculating. It was what they did best, after all… to the point that it became a little ridiculous. One of the smaller articles swore that it had to have been Merlin himself, returned from history to save the day.

The particular article he had just read was… actually, surprisingly accurate. Or, at least, it seemed accurate based on what Remus was speculating to have happened.

And speculation was easy enough: Sans had happened. The kid had done something, Remus was sure of that, and soon he would finally get his answers. They had a deal, after all, and summer vacation was finally coming to a close.

Sans stumbled into the dining room looking less than half awake—likely he'd just woken up, given the condition of his white hair—and plopped down in one of the chairs around the table. He eyed the food options, mostly fruits and bread, but in the end he didn't take any. Instead he poured himself a glass of water and sat back.

"So." Remus set aside the paper, turning his attention to the ever-mysterious kid, and asked, "Will we finally be off to Diagon Alley today, Sans?"

He got a yawn in response, followed by a dull nod.

"And will you finally give me answers when we're done shopping?"

"didn't forget 'bout that, did ya?" Sans sighed, as if he was annoyed by the prospect, but his smile looked genuine. If, perhaps, ever so slightly nervous.

Before Remus could respond—because yes, of course he remembered the deal—the door swung open again. Not by much, and it ended up closing again almost immediately. There came a noise of distress and annoyance from the other side, and it was distinctly canine in nature.

With a curious look and a gesture, Sans outlined the door in blue and beckoned it open.

A dog strutted in, head held high with a familiar cocky confidence (regardless of having just been foiled by a simple doorknob), and jumped onto one of the chairs.

Although a bit larger than the breed usually comes, it was a golden retriever.

He was a golden retriever.

"How…?" Remus frowned slightly, trying to figure out how Sirius—it had to be him—had changed his Animagus form.

Sirius barked, looking very pleased with himself.

"on the collar?" Sans said, as if repeating something the dog had told him just them. "that does make sense. dogs don't wear much claw-th, so i guess you had limited pup-tions."

"Something about the collar?" Looking between the kid and the dog—who nodded, by the way—Remus almost didn't want to ask. Key word being 'almost', because he ended up asking anyway. "…How did you know that, Sans?"

Running a hand through his white hair, the boy just shrugged. "well, he said."

"He— But he's a dog right now!"

"so?"

Remus set his head in his hands for a moment, regrouping. "He's a dog. How did you know what he meant by that bark? Did you just guess?"

"nah," Sans replied, perfectly nonchalant. "my doggish is near fluent."

The werewolf mouthed that sentence to himself, looking as shocked as anyone has ever been. Then, with a rallying breath, he gathered up his thoughts and said, "Is that so."

Even with the facial features of a golden retriever, Sirius managed a smirk.

"Why is it," Remus said, "that every time you actually answer one of my questions, I'm only left with more of them?"

"dunno," said Sans. "i try to be perfectly honest."

"Yes, by avoiding questions altogether."

Sirius barked once, clearly in agreement; so it would seem that he had been on the receiving end of the kid's deflections as well.

Sans just shrugged—a good, reliable, tried-and-true reply to any topic he'd like the conversation to move away from. His fallback method was, naturally, an overload of puns.

"well, what can ya do," he said, tone light and humorous. "i can't paws-ibly answer all your dogged questions at once, now canine?"

The dog, with a sound that was somewhere between a bark and a sneeze, laughed himself clear out of his chair. He did try to stop himself at the last second, but, with a clatter of claws on wood, his paws failed to find grip.

Doing his best to keep a straight face (with limited success), Remus refused to let himself be distracted. "You will need to answer those questions, Sans."

With a sigh that suggested there was nothing he'd want to do less than be transparent and non-confusing, the kid took one sip of his water. In a theatrically strict tone, all business, he said, "we have a trade agreement, moon moon."

"And today I was planning to make good on my half of that deal," Remus replied, and his tone became teasing, "assuming you ever wake up enough to leave the house."

"hey, i am awake. look at me go, being awake and stuff." Sans dropped out of his chair to stand up, as if to prove just how not-asleep he was.

Deciding that too much time had passed without him getting attention, Sirius—still a dog—attempted to get back onto his seat. Unfortunately, he swiftly encountered the same problem that had made him fall off in the first place: his paws couldn't find much grip. Wobbling unsteadily and nearly slipping clean off again, he was forced to steady himself by skittering his paws onto the dinning room table. Then, faking like the entire nearly-falling-over thing had never happened, he barked twice.

Sans nodded, seemingly agreeing with whatever the dog-speak meant. "you might as well, i doubt anyone'd recognize you."

Which was enough information for Remus to guess, "Do you want to go for a walk?"

It was unclear how much was acting, how much was Sirius, and how much was the fact that he was physically a dog, but regardless this must have been quite the exciting prospect for him. Very much resembling a true golden retriever, Sirius hopped off of his chair and romped around the room and then out into the hall, barking happily all the while.

Which was clearly a raucous agreement to his question. Remus stood up as well, planning to follow the happy hound toward the front door.

"hey, ya know…" Sans said, having thought of something. "i haven't actually taken you on one of my shortcuts yet, have i?"

Remus paused in the doorway. He knew what they were, in a manner of speaking. That is, he had seen the kid vanish with less warning than an unexpected sneeze, and seemingly regardless to the wards on the house that should prevent such things.

So, not sure if he should be anxious or interested, Remus shook his head. "No, you haven't. Should I take it that you plan on taking one to Diagon Alley?"

"well, 's the fastest way to travel. that's why it's called a shortcut."

Then the kid walked out of the dining room: following Sirius to the front door, presumably, though there wasn't really any difference between vanishing from the entryway and vanishing from literally anywhere else. It just seemed to be an accepted tradition that, when leaving the house entirely, you do so from the front door.

Remus was just one step behind him.

After all, the sooner they finished their shopping, the sooner he would get his answers. And, with one last glance back at the paper still neatly folded on the table, those answers were something he desperately wanted.

=X=X=X=

Diagon Alley was an interesting place. As well it should be, given it was home to odds and ends from every sort of magical being in the whole of the wizarding world. Every window was a view into the peculiar and, for lack of a less obvious term, the magical.

But right now, Remus found that he was much more interested in the (also peculiar and magical) young boy walking with him.

Sans was a mystery. A friend, to be sure, but those two things are not mutually exclusive.

Right now, the kid was staring down at the somewhat-crumpled letter in his hands. His expression more suited somebody reading through a long list of tiresome chores, rather than a list of the magical items he'd need to further his magical education and prepare for magical society.

"do i really need all o' this stuff?"

Remus tried to recall everything from the list with limited success. "I probably still have the textbooks you'll need, they haven't changed in years. Of course, I doubt Padfoot still has his books, but he might have some of the other items. A cauldron, perhaps?"

The golden retriever, tail wagging, gleefully barked and shook his head.

"you did what?" said Sans, apparently interpreting something from that. "how'd you manage that?"

While he was interested in whatever story his long-time friend was now regaling the boy with, Remus naturally had no idea what was being said. Therefore he decided to just ignore them altogether and instead try to figure out the best way to get all the school supplies they'd need as quickly as possible.

He had a feeling that the longer they stayed here, the more likely they were to do something large and dramatic: Sirius had always been something of a showman… dog.

"Anyway," Remus steered the conversation back on track, "we should get you your school robes first. I can go pick up some of the other things while that's going on."

Then, just as they began their trip down the alley, Sans paused. "hey, so since you're buying," he said, head tilted to the side at a curious angle, "i take it you found a job?"

"Well, yes," Remus replied, his steps slowing as he turned to them in surprise. "Didn't I tell you two?"

Sirius barked, accusatory.

It was obvious that the dog was miffed: he didn't need Sans's peculiar ability to understand dogs to get that much. So apparently he really had forgotten to share the good news. To be fair, the past summer had been considerably more hectic than he was used to. Maybe that scrambled his brains a little.

At their expectant looks, he continued, "Well, Perkins helped me get a job in the Ministry. It's not much, of course, just pushing papers around between departments."

"congrats regardless. jobs can be hard."

Sirius arrived at the clothing store first, unhesitatingly nosing his way inside. A bell over the door gave a friendly chime when it swung open, and a voice from somewhere behind all the fabrics—sounding just this side of frazzled—called out that it would be a moment before she could get to them. Apparently, despite how close to the start of the school year they were cutting it, the store was still caught in that back-to-school busy period.

"It's no rush," Remus reassured.

Sans glanced around at all of the different robes hung up on racks or mannequins, most of them plain black but no small number in ridiculous colors and patterns, and he quietly remarked, "i know i got style, but i dunno if i'm fashion savvy enough for this place."

After a few minutes browsing the selection, a squat woman—looking quite harried but still smiling—bustled out from somewhere. She was followed by a floating tape measure that twisted through the air as if it had a mind of its own. For a moment, it seemed that she would call out a greeting.

Then her eyes landed on Sans.

"What are you wearing!"

Sans looked down at himself, as if he couldn't remember what he had put on that morning: blue jacket several sizes too large, black shorts that fit more like pants, pink slippers, and a plain white shirt. Everything seemed to be in order to him.

The dog snorted, clearly amused.

"We need to get him his Hogwarts uniform," Remus said.

She nodded, but didn't otherwise reply: almost as if the sight of Sans—or perhaps just his outfit—had scrambled her senses for a moment. Her eyes slipped down and landed on Sirius, who wagged his tail in a friendly manner. That, at least, garnered a response.

"I'm sorry, dear," Madam Malkin said, looking genuinely apologetic. "Your uniforms will be no problem, but I'm afraid your adorable doggy needs to stay outside."

Sans turned to took at Sirius, and, with a hard-to-spot devious glint in his eyes, he pitched his voice into what could be called 'quiet nervous child mode'.

"he's my service dog, so he's gonna be at school with me. i-i thought maybe…" Putting on his best acting skills, shyly scuffing one slippered foot against the floor and fiddling with his hands, he dropped his voice to be even softer. "could he maybe get a uniform too?"

Clearly he was a fantastic actor, as Madam Malkin caved all but immediately. "Alright, dear. I'll see what I can do."

Remus chuckled to himself, enjoying the somewhat conflicted expression on the golden retriever's face: it would seem Sirius both did and did not want to play doggy dress-up. "Well, if you're all set here," he said, as Sans and the dog were led to the back to get sized, "I'll be off to get some of the other things you'll be needing."

"okay, uncle remus!" chirped Sans, still channeling happy-but-nervous child.

He found the address to be endearing, if a bit weird, and he tried to only let the first of those two emotions show on his face. As he stepped back into the alley, Remus called one last goodbye over his shoulder. The door clicked shut with another soft jingle from the bell, and he immediately realized that he didn't actually have the list of what he needed to buy.

But, since he knew he still had his own school books, he was fairly sure that the only things he needed to get were potions supplies. Which hopefully shouldn't be a problem, as the Apothecary probably sells full kits for incoming first years.

When he returned to the clothing shop, potions kit floating behind him, the fitting was not yet finished. Sans was swamped in black fabric and grinning like it was the best thing in the world. It was likely the smallest size she had on-hand, and she was still hard at work tailoring it down to fit the short kid. Scissors snipped and cut, working to get the robe down to a reasonable fit, while needles hovered in the air waiting their turn.

Sirius was seated to the side, his part already done: he was wearing a tidy white dress collar and small black cape. Remus wondered briefly if, once Sans was sorted, the dog would get a small house tie to go with it.

He hoped so.

"How's it coming along?" Remus asked, taking a seat on one of the chairs to wait.

Madam Malkin flicked her wand like a conductor before an orchestra, and a few of the sewing tools set to work hemming up the fabric. "Two sets are all finished, but I've had to do each myself." Another wave of her wand carried off the excess material that had been cut away. "He's such wee child, even my smallest set needs quite a bit of adjusting."

It didn't take much longer for her to wrap up her work, and both Sirius and Sans changed out of their new robes. The witch still looked almost offended by the kid's choice of outfit, but she didn't say anything more about it as the three of them finished up their business. They left the store and the bundles of clothing were floated up to join the rest of their shopping.

Borrowing the list from Sans for a moment, Remus quickly checked that there wasn't anything he had forgotten. He was pleasantly surprised to see that he had only missed the telescope, and he was certain Sirius hadn't done anything too destructive to his old one. Hopefully.

"I suppose all that's left is to get is your wand."

"oh, well actually…" Sans pulled out a white rod from his baggy sleeves, nearly thirteen inches long, and gave it a demonstrative flourish. "i already got one of those."

Remus blinked, having not expected that. He had to wonder how the wand had even fit up those sleeves and still allowed the kid's elbows to bend. Not to mention that the kid threw around wandless magic like it was nothing: it simply hadn't occurred to him that Sans might actually have a wand.

"What is that made of?" he asked, looking at the wand more closely.

"magic," came the reply that he really should have expected.

The wand was (as noted previously) completely white, with no sign of wood grain or— actually, it didn't even smell like wood. He breathed in, smelling that oddly supernatural scent that he associated with Sans. It almost seemed as if the kid and the wand were made of the same stuff, though that made less than no sense.

Although it did smell kind of like…

The white stick vanished back up the sleeve of the blue jacket before he could pin down that thought, and Sans stuffed his hands into his pockets with a satisfied smile. "we done, then?"

"I… suppose we are." Then Remus crossed his arms, giving the kid the same stern look he gave students who were missing homework. "So. Will you answer my questions now?"

"well, first of all—"

Shortcuts—as Remus had found out earlier, when being whisked away to Diagon in the first place—were very much like blinking. Except, of course, that the eyes shut on one scene and open to see somewhere completely different. The only physical discomfort was, ironically, the disorientation inevitable when suddenly changing location without any other indication.

The instant they reappeared in the entryway at Grimmauld Place, Sirius collapsed back into human form with a spluttering protest. "Why always with the sudden vanishing?!" he demanded, rolling into a seated position on the floor. "It's just because it startles me, isn't it?!"

Sans shrugged, grinning unrepentantly. "no comment."

Remus refused to let a little sudden teleportation get in the way of the answers he was due. "Can I have some answers now?"

That seemed sufficient to distract Sirius from his annoyance. Smiling, he nudged his friend expectantly and pestered, "Yeah, Rattles. C'mon, the man wants answers!"

"I have questions for you, too, Sirius."

"Curses."

"throw me a bone, paddy-paws," Sans said. "i've been scratching at my skull here, trying to figure out the best way to tell him ulna this stuff. and there's no way i'm gonna be the only one patella-ing this story."

Sirius blinked. "You've stepped up your pun game, Rattles."

The kid smiled, then shrugged off one of the sleeves of his jacket. His arms were thin—worryingly so, though he had always waved off Remus's concerns. He wore a silver bracelet up at his elbow. Now his hand reached up to it, and pulled it down to his wrist.

"This isn't a prank, by the way," Sirius said, tone for once completely devoid of teasing levity.

Sans took off the bracelet, and changed.

Pale skin vanished altogether, leaving behind a grinning skull—not terrifying or spooky, just familiar—and a skeletal arm. And skeletal legs, poking out from between the shorts and the pink slippers. Bright white lights shone in the eye sockets, friendly and amused.

Remus just stared, mind struggling to process what he was looking at.

"i'm a skeleton from another dimension."

Author's Note:

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or Undertale.

The last paragraph of the article is taken mostly from the book, assuming the excerpt on the wiki is indeed in the book. I don't actually have my copy on hand to check right now. Either way, it's not mine.

They make a trade, and now Remus is in on the secret. I seriously doubt these answers are what he was expecting, although, at the same time, he probably had no clue what to expect. This is Sirius, after all. Who know what sort of stuff he could have gotten up to in the past year.
But time travel? Alternate dimensions?
Yeah, that was a surprise.

And now, MORE AMAZING NEWS! MuffinQueen has also drawn some fanart for this fanfic! Like the other one, since I can't add links on this site, you can find it at the end of the Ao3 copy of this story.
Thank you for the great art, MuffinQueen!

Updates on the first of the month (based on Colorado, since that's where I am).
Thanks for all of the reviews, favorites, and follows! It's super motivating and helps me figure out just what sort of topics I need to clarify or touch on in future chapters. You guys are great!

Legianreader2003: Updates are on the first, based on where I am. Since I live in the states, some people get the chapter on slightly different days at slightly different times. Sorry that that's a bit misleading.

Givehimawand: He's got one (kinda)! Hope you're not too disappointed that a wand doesn't get to choose him.

Guest: I'm sorry that you didn't like the sections with the Roberts family. They become very important much later, and I personally quite liked them, so… well, it is what it is. Hopefully you enjoyed this chapter a bit more!

Reiko x 3 : Hehehehe, maaaaaybe.

See ya on the flipside, everyone!