Chapter 28: Back on Track

Based on his expression, Remus was at a total loss for words. This was understandable, as Sans had likely just toppled over a few of the load-bearing pillars that held up the man's understanding of the world in the span of a single sentence.

He blinked. Once, twice. Then he rubbed at his eyes, as if thinking he had somehow fallen asleep and begun dreaming up this crazy explanation.

Sans remained skeletal.

"WHAT."

"Yes," Sirius remarked, perfectly calm, "that's what I thought you'd say."

Remus rounded on his long-time friend, and he jabbed a terribly confused finger in the direction of the grinning skeleton. In fact, it seemed the poor fellow couldn't quite figure his way around any more words than that one, as his further attempts to parse the situation into speech resulted in a jumbled mess of incomprehensible syllables. Though the word 'puns' seemed to come up more than once.

Actually, Sans was becoming a little concerned. "remus. buddy. you okay?"

Sirius, however, looked to be thoroughly enjoying himself. "Don't worry, Rattles," he reassured, "Ol' Moony here just needs a minute to process."

And indeed, a minute and a half later, Remus had regained control of his words. "Where do I even begin? The whole…" a broad gesture to all of him, "skeleton-ness, or the fact that, apparently, you're from another dimension?"

"i hear that the very beginning is a very good place to start," Sans stated, as unruffled as ever, "but 'start' is a bit foggy because, well…"

"Oh no." Credit where credit is due, the man had a finely honed sense for when things were likely to go crazy. He had just… underestimated the magnitude this time. "I take it you have more bombshells you'd like to drop on me."

Sirius perked up, and Remus immediately regretted saying that. He should have waited, given himself time to come to terms with what he had just learned, before poking for more.

Grinning a dangerous grin and speaking with flippant nonchalance, Sirius revealed, "Also I'm from two years in the future. More or less."

There was silence then, and it was a real shame nobody had thought to have crickets on hand to fill the air with cliché. At least there was a return of the one-sided, dumfounded staring: jaw gaping as all mental processing power was diverted elsewhere. That took care of the requisite drama quite nicely.

Then his mouth snapped shut, and Remus carded a hand through his hair. "Well. That… honestly raises way more questions than it answers."

"it wouldn't be in form if it didn't, moon-moon."

=X=X=X=

Platform 9¾ was bustling with activity, families and students rushing to make the train on time. Given the damp on everyone's clothing and the continuous pattering of water hitting the distant ceiling, it must be raining fairly heavily outside. Sidestepping a cart loaded with luggage and a gaggle of eager students, Sans deftly steered his own hand-me-down trunk through the crowd. Its small wheels protested, squeaking all the while, but other than that it rolled easily over the smoothly tiled floor of the platform.

Though the last few days had involved a lot—a lot—of questions and clarifications, overall Remus had taken the news fairly well. And right now, he wasn't even thinking about unexpected skeletal-ness: he was just worried about how little Sans had packed.

"You're sure you have everything?" Remus asked.

For what might have been the tenth time that morning, Sans reassured, "even if i forgot something, it's not like i can't just pop by and pick it up."

Still, the ex-professor eyed the small luggage with suspicion; the skeleton had decided that he only needed the very smallest of the available trunks. Although he had some good arguments. After all, the physical limits on any suitcase, box, or what-have-you become purely visual with liberal application of the right spells. It's not as though any of the muggles they might have passed on the way to the platform would know they needed enough for a full year, so there's nothing inherently strange about a small bag.

"P-professor Lupin?" called a quiet, stuttering voice from behind them. It belonged to a round-faced boy, pushing his cart through the crowd as he made his way closer. He gave a nervous wave when they turned around.

"Oh! Hello, Mr. Longbottom," Remus greeted with a smile that became a touch sad. "Though I'm afraid I'm not your professor anymore."

The boy flushed with embarrassment, looking like he wanted to both apologize and vanish into the floor, luggage cart and all, but he gathered himself up. "I-it's a real shame, that. You were the best one we've had."

Undeniably flattered and thrown a bit out of sorts by the complement, the ex-professor found he didn't quite know what to say beyond a grateful, "Thank you."

"So, uhm…" He shifted his hands on his cart. "If you're not teaching, then why…?"

"Why am I here at the station, waiting for the train? Well." Very deliberately, Remus settled his hand on a messy head of white illusory hair. The glamour moved believably, but it felt disconcertingly like holding fingers under a sunbeam.

"heya," Sans said, catching that unsubtle cue to speak up. "i'm sans, in-coming first year."

"Neville Longbottom, fourth-year." He seemed to hesitate for a moment, then stuck out his hand with a somewhat uncertain smile that was, nonetheless, friendly and welcoming.

Sans decided this kid was alright, and—with a bracing layer of blue magic—he accepted the offered handshake with a grin of his own. He spared a moment to mourn the fact that he didn't have a whoopee cushion to accompany the greeting.

There came a loud whistle from the train, warning that there were only a few minutes left until departure, and the overly excited not-dog standing nearby gave an eager bark. One or both of those noises startled Neville quite badly, enough so that he jolted his whole cart with a clatter. The cardboard box sitting on top of the boy's trunk made a noise like a disgruntled croak.

"You have a dog?" Neville asked, as if the golden retriever's existence was more confusing than any of the other less-than-typical things that happened in the wizarding world.

"to keep me from dying or generally freakin' out," Sans replied glibly. "plus, he might get bone-ly without me around."

Though he might not get the true depth of that pun, Neville nonetheless chuckled a little.

Remus smiled, and he reached out to ruffle non-real white hair again. "Best get going, or you'll miss the train entirely. I have it on good authority that this year will be quite interesting."

Which was a very stealthy way to say that the combination of Triwizard Tournament plus dimension-hopping skeletons and time-traveling criminals was guaranteed to produce chaos.

Neville jolted, and—only slightly hesitantly—waved for the punny first-year to join him as he headed for the train. Still a little mumbly, he suggested that maybe they could find a compartment together and Sans nodded in agreement.

Sans did pause before following, however. "guess i'll see ya again eventually."

"I imagine it won't be until next summer," Remus replied with a knowing smile.

"welp. later, moon-moon." He turned and walked away, joining Neville by one of the train doors and helping the boy haul up his trunk.

With a distinct spring in his step, Sirius-as-golden-retriever circled around Remus one more time as his own non-verbal goodbye before following 'diligently' after the two students.

Waving a final farewell, the three of them vanished into the train.

By some stroke of good fortune, they did manage to find an empty compartment to claim as their own. Sans slid his small trunk under the seat and flopped himself down with a tired huff. He hadn't even started school yet and he was already exhausted.

Not so exhausted that he couldn't surreptitiously help boost Neville's luggage up onto the overhead rack, however: a twitch of a finger casting blue to lift the surprisingly heavy trunk.

Neville had left the cardboard box on his seat, and Sirius was curiously sniffing at holes punched through the side. The lid lifted a bit, revealing the squat face of an old froggit—or rather, a toad. One webbed foot reached out and batted the sniffing nose aside. Sirius, a little startled and annoyed, gave a quiet growl before jumping onto the seat next to Sans. The box shut again after a low, disappointed ribbit.

"where would you even go?" Sans said to the toad. "we're on a train. finding you would just be a matter of time, dog or no."

Sirius was giving him one of those looks—obvious even as a dog.

"Did you say something?" asked Neville, turning back around now that his luggage was safely stored away.

Without missing a beat, Sans covered, "just wondering what's in the box."

Picking up said box and taking its spot on the seat, Neville lifted the lid and, looking somewhat relieved about something, smiled down at the toad inside. He proudly presented the gangly amphibian. "This is Trevor."

"that reminds me… neville, trevor," Sans gestured at his currently canine friend, "this is paddy-paws, also known as simply 'paddy'."

Sirius held out a foreleg, asking for a handshake. Somewhat cautiously, Neville closed his toad back in the box and shook the offered paw. "Nice to meet you, Paddy." He looked to Sans, impressed. "He's pretty well trained."

"i wouldn't go so far as to say that…"

Before he could say anything else, the door to their compartment slid open. It was a girl, still rolling her trunk around and clearly looking for a compartment. She had pale blond hair, silvery eyes, and was wearing such an odd assortment of colors that she would have fit right in next to the disguise Sirius had worn as Patrick Pawdy.

She gave Sans a curious look, but then turned her attention to the much more nervous Neville.

"May I join you?" Her voice had an almost dreamy quality, as if she was perpetually distracted by something nobody else could see.

Neville scooted over, making more space on his seat. "I-I don't mind."

"go ahead."

He helped her with getting her trunk put away, and then she settled herself across from where Sirius had decided to curl up.

"You know," the girl said, dreamily matter-of-fact, "I've never met a skeleton before."

Sans blinked, but otherwise maintained his perfect poker face. His 'dog', however, did not.

It turns out that the dog equivalent of a shocked gasp is to sneeze violently and nearly fall over. At least his complete distress was distracting enough that Neville didn't really have time to process what the strange girl had said.

Feigning complete innocence with a slightly curious grin, Sans asked, "really? and here i thought everyone had a skeleton."

"Of course," she continued, with that same airily peaceful tone, "but usually we have—"

"my name's sans," he interrupted swiftly.

"Luna Lovegood," she introduced herself, seemingly perfectly fine with the abrupt turn the conversation had taken. Then she turned to Neville, tilting her head in question.

"Oh, well, uhm… I'm Neville Longbottom." For want of something more to say, the nervous boy also took the time to introduce the two pets. Luna simply smiled, unbothered.

There was a hiss from the pistons, and the train finally began to move forward.

They all chatted for a while, eventually falling from near-awkward questions about school and the like into an unexpectedly comfortable line of discussion involving plants and the effects ambient magic could have on their growth. Neville clearly knew his way around flora, and Luna offered a refreshingly sideways perspective whenever a line of reasoning looked to be reaching a dead end.

Rain pattering against the window was a soft accompaniment to their talk, and Sans found it easy to relax and even found himself adding in what he knew from living in the Underground. All the plants down there had only been able to take root and thrive because of the magical presence, after all.

After the scenery had long since changed from city to wet fields, Sans noticed that his faux golden retriever kept glancing at the door. Knowing those subtle looks probably weren't Sirius asking to go to the bathroom, it was easy enough to guess he was just antsy and wanted to go find his godson.

"not to derail this, but paddy's lookin' kinda jittery," Sans said, taking advantage of a lull in the conversation. He stretched, then got up to open the compartment door. "so yeah. he's train-ed, but sometimes a dog's just gotta let off some steam."

"I'll come too," Neville replied, moving to join him. Hesitated, and it was unclear who his next statement was directed at: "…Well, I mean, if you don't mind."

Luna blinked, before simply nodding and pulling out a magazine from somewhere. "I'll keep watch." She set one hand on the cardboard box; the toad inside made a small annoyed noise.

"be back soon."

Sirius led the way nose-first, trotting down the train with all the confidence of a dog on the trail. It was clear that he knew what he was doing, especially when they began to hear sounds of a hubbub up ahead at the end of the carriage.

"Oh no," Neville whispered. "It's Malfoy."

There was a small crowd gathered around one of the compartments; three students already wearing their green-trimmed Hogwarts robes were talking to whoever was inside, and their derisive tones were clear even at a distance.

"Weasley… what is that?" the blond one mocked, clearly about something inside.

Sans peered in from under his pointing arm, having easily sneaked past the two impressively large goons that stood flanking the prissy one. The object of interest was likely the frankly hideous maroon cloth draped over a cage to muffle quiet hooting. Sat inside were Harry, Ron, and Hermione: right at the center of commotion, as expected.

"i'd say that's an owl. but who am i to say?" He grinned at the three very surprised kids. "hey guys."

The blond—his guess was that this was the aforementioned 'Malfoy'—made a startled noise, stumbling back from the unnoticed newcomer. Sans paid him no mind.

Harry found his voice first. "Sans?!"

"yes," he said, stepping aside so that Sirius could wiggle his way inside and saunter over to an incredibly surprised Harry. "you've met paddy, of course."

"Seriously—?"

"yes to that, too."

He could feel the blond boy growing more and more annoyed behind him, likely because Sans was quite blatantly ignoring him.

"Who do you think you are!" demanded Malfoy, having recovered from his earlier shock.

"isn't that a kinda big question to be asking an eleven-year-old?" Sans replied, purposefully misinterpreting what he had been asking. "that's a bit more existential than i can handle at the moment."

Malfoy looked completely speechless. Before he could gather himself back up, Sans brushed him aside and waved Neville forward. The nervous boy was clearly unsure about this whole situation; his worried glance at the blond boy earned him a sneer full of disdain, and he flinched slightly.

"ah." Sans positioned himself between them, though he played it off as if he was just adjusting with the motion of the train. "so you're bullies."

The two goons flanking the blond stepped up threateningly, but, completely unfazed, Sans just grinned at them. He turned his attention fully on Malfoy.

"let me give you a bit of advice." His unsettling smile remained unchanged. "stop."

Then he closed the compartment door.

Dusting off his hands of the whole interaction, Sans turned back to the four stunned students and one smug looking dog. And an owl, technically, though all he could see of Pigwidgeon was his small beak nibbling at the lace trimming the maroon dress robes covering his cage.

"i think that went well."

Sirius, lazing on the seat next to Harry, gave that remark his best canine eye roll and tucked his nose under his paws.

Author's Note:

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or Undertale.

Breaking news!— Sans is a skeleton and Sirius is an inadvertent time traveler.
Remus, what's your take on all this? Ah yes, I see. Confusion.

And they're off to Hogwarts! Let's hope this year doesn't turn out to be a train wreck for them!
…I'll see myself out.

Updates on the first of the month. And heads up just in case you missed it, but chapter 27 was a bonus chapter posted on June 24th. Thought I'd mention that here.
Thank you so much for all of the support in favorites, follows, and (especially) reviews. All the advice I got from my questions last chapter have given me much to think on, so double thanks!

See ya on the flipside, everyone!