Content Warning: This chapter contains themes of suicide.

World 3-3: vs. Birdo

A long, long time ago, it was a bright sunny morning on Yoshi's Island and in the northern village, a young couple were preparing to introduce a new member into their family. Both parents watched intently as the large, pink and white egg that they'd been carefully watching over for months began to shake under its own power. A crack started to form along the top of the shell, followed by another, and the young parents grew even more excited. Finally, the newborn baby managed to break out of the egg and a new yoshi had officially been brought into the world. The baby's parents both leaned in close to get a better look at their firstborn child. Rather than pick the baby up and begin to nurture it, however, they quickly pulled away in disgust.

"What is that thing?" the father asked.

"What's wrong with its nose?" was the mother's reaction.

And so began the miserable life of the one known as Birdo, an outcast and reject from the moment she was born.

Roshi had never been kidnapped before and he couldn't say that he was a fan of the new experience. It certainly didn't help that he was currently being held at the peak of a very tall, rocky mountain. One wrong step and he could easily end up falling to his doom. He also seemed to have been left completely alone, making Roshi wonder just what he was even doing up there.

"Hello?" he called out, hoping that someone, anyone would be able to hear him. "Is anyone out there?"

There was no reply.

Roshi looked around to see if he could find anything to help him get down but to no avail. The barren mountaintop was devoid of anything save for craggy rock with not so much as a patch of grass on it and while he could climb around the peak well enough, every side of the mountain eventually led to a steep dropoff. While it may not have been as bad as the rectangular mountains from earlier, it was still fairly close. The one thing of interest seemed to be a strange bird-like structure sticking out of a cliff near where he'd woken up. It looked almost like a large eagle sticking its head out from the rock. But no matter how much he tried, he couldn't get the eagle to respond to anything.

After wearing himself out trying to find a way to escape, he eventually sat down right where he'd started and let out a cry of frustration. It seemed that the only option he had was to wait until one of his friends managed to find him, if they managed to find him up there, and offer him a way down. Roshi was so tired of always feeling useless all the time. What did he even offer to their little team? Ridley was some kind of former space pirate who seemed like he could do just about anything, Luigi was an experienced hero and younger brother of the famous Mario, and Samus was a cool space bounty hunter with a magic suit of armor loaded with all kinds of crazy weapons and secret abilities.

And then there was Roshi. He was midway through his second epic adventure and yet the only thing he'd managed to accomplish was simply being there while the others did all the cool stuff. Sure, they always tried to assure him that he was a valuable member of the group and that his weakness didn't make him any less important but somehow that just made him feel worse about himself.

"I just want to go home," he muttered to himself. "Why can't I be the guy who just watches the house while everyone else is out doing the cool stuff? At least I'd be out of the way, then."

Then something very hard and very moving fast struck Roshi in the back of the head, knocking him over onto his stomach. He let out a groan of pain and rolled over to see the pink, saurian being from earlier standing behind him, staring at him angrily.

"Ow, what was that for?" he asked as he slowly clambered up to his feet. He was met with an egg being fired at him like a rocket from Birdo's cannon-like muzzle, which he was barely able to duck out of the way of. "What did I ever do to you?"

Birdo didn't respond, simply firing another white egg at him. A 'proper' yoshi would have simply grabbed the oncoming projectile with their tongue, swallowed it and used it to lay their own egg that they could toss back at their opponent. Unfortunately for Roshi, he'd never managed to figure out the egg-laying thing and he wasn't as good at throwing things as his peers back on the island had been. It was all that he could do just to dodge out of the way of Birdo's attacks.

It was a very good thing that all of the exercise he'd been doing since his last adventure and the physical labor of his new plumbing job had left him in better shape than he used to be or else he wouldn't have had the energy to keep going. More important than that, though, was that the high altitude and subsequent lack of oxygen wasn't affecting him at all, presumably as an effect of being in the dream world. Unfortunately, Roshi was still out of shape despite his best efforts and it didn't take long before his movements grew sluggish and it became harder to dodge the constant barrage of eggs. Eventually, Birdo got in a lucky shot that hit Roshi straight in the chest and he was knocked flat on his back, too winded to get up. He watched in panic as the pink dinosaur with a bright red bow atop her head walked up to him and stared down with an inexplicable anger in her eyes.

"Are you even a yoshi?" she asked at last, voice as bitter as an orange peel.

"Sometimes it doesn't feel like it," Roshi groaned, prompting an annoyed huff from his attacker.

"It seems you weren't even worth my time," she said as she started walking away.

Roshi sat up and started to watch her leave before speaking up again. "Do you… hate yoshi's?"

It seemed strange but it was the only thing he could think of to explain her behavior and attitude. And it seemed that he'd struck a nerve, judging by the way she stopped and shuddered before turning to him.

"No, they hate me," she said.

Birdo watched as the other children her age played and laughed, tossing around an egg that one of their parents had given to them, since they weren't old enough to be able to make their own yet. It seemed like fun so, despite herself, Birdo decided to get up and see if she could join. That was a mistake. As soon as she approached the other kids, they all went quiet and glared at her, stopping their game.

"What are you doing here, freak?" one asked irritably.

"Go away!" another yelled.

"I-I just…" Birdo stammered, realizing that this was a bad idea but still trying to press her nonexistent luck. "...I wanted to play."

"Ew, no!"

"Gross!"

"Why are you even here?"

"Get lost, butt face!"

And then it happened. One of the kids, Birdo didn't even see which one, through the egg at her as hard as they could. The green and white shell shattered as it smashed against her face, just under her right eye, and Birdo was knocked onto the ground. She felt like she should have started crying right there on the spot but she didn't.

She'd finally hit her breaking point and instead of feeling sad, or even in pain, there was nothing left but anger and rage. She'd had more than enough and before she'd even realized what she was doing, she'd fired her first egg. It didn't come out the back like it would for any other yoshi, though. She shot it out of her mouth, her disfigurement, the thing that she'd been bullied, beaten and abandoned for all of her life. The boy it hit was sent flying into one of the primitive straw huts that made up their village and he wouldn't be the last. Birdo finally had the ability to fight back.

The village was in shambled by the time the adults returned from their hunting trip and chased her out into the woods, never to return.

The strange eagle head opened its beaked mouth as Birdo approached it, stretching out into a kind of doorway leading into the mountain which she walked through. With nothing else to do and no other apparent way of leaving, Roshi reluctantly followed her inside, where he found himself walking down a tunnel dimly lit by burning torches placed evenly along the carved stone walls.

"What did you mean?" Roshi asked Birdo after several minutes of uncomfortable silence.

"None of your business," Birdo replied. "And stop following me!"

The silence resumed. Roshi slowed his pace slightly to increase the distance between himself and the irate… whatever Birdo was. She really did look like a yoshi, other than the line of spikes running down her back and her nose. Or was it a mouth? She also didn't wear a saddle or shoes like most yoshi's did, seeming naked save for the large red bow on her head.

Eventually, they reached the end of the tunnel, which led out to a grassy plateau. Roshi winced as stepped back out into the sunlight, his eyes taking a moment to adjust to the sudden brightness. Once he'd regained his sense of vision, he saw that Birdo had stopped and almost seemed to be waiting for him.

"You're from the island, right?" she asked him, seemingly out of the blue. "What's it like these days?"

Roshi blinked a few times as he tried to process the question.

"What do you mean?" he asked in turn.

"I've… been here a very long time," she said, more than a hint of melancholy in her voice. "How has Yoshi's Island changed since I've been gone?"

Roshi considered it, not really sure where to start.

"Well, I don't know how long it's been since you've been there but I doubt much would have changed," he finally said. "Nothing's really changed since I was a kid, anyway."

"Oh, I'm sure you'd be surprised." Birdo continued walking. "Which village are you from?"

"Which?" Roshi repeated. "There's only ever been one village on the island, as far as I'm aware."

That reply seemed to catch her off guard and Birdo stopped walking again for a moment.

"Strange," she muttered. "Which one? The north?"

"No, it's in the south." Roshi shook his head reflexively even though Birdo wasn't looking at him. "I don't think there's ever been a village in the north, at least as far as I'm aware of."

"I'm from the north." Birdo turned to face him. "Maybe it's been even longer than I thought. Did something happen to the Super Happy Trees? There used to be a village next to each of them on the island?"

That took a moment to sink in for Roshi.

"Super Happy Trees?" he repeated, trying to wrap his head around the statement. "But… there's only one of them. They say the rest of them were wiped out when the volcano erupted and that was over a thousand years ago."

"Huh?" Birdo looked off to the side wistfully. "Has it really been that long, already? It gets so hard to keep track here. Not that it really matters. There was nothing left there for me, anyway. Even calling that place home seems wrong."

Just how old was this woman?

Since Birdo seemed to be in a talkative mood at the moment, relatively speaking, Roshi decided to press his luck and do the only thing that he thought he might be able to do to help the others. He wasn't sure if she'd be willing to answer his questions but it was worth the try.

"Why does Wart want to invade the real world?" he asked.

"Why do you care?" she countered. "You're just going to oppose us no matter what, right?"

"I'd still like to know," Roshi said.

Birdo seemed to scoff at that before shaking her head.

"His reasons seem to change depending on who he's trying to win over," she explained. "Sometimes it's because we all deserve to live on the 'right' side, whatever that means. Sometimes it's so that we can get our revenge against those who sent us here, one way or another. I honestly don't know what his actual reasons are and frankly, I don't care. He was the first person to ever show me kindness and for that, I'll follow him to the end."

"But doesn't that bother you? Doing all of this without even knowing why?"

"No. I stopped caring about that sort of thing a long time ago," Birdo replied. "And it doesn't seem like either of us has any chance of trying to talk the other out of what we're doing, so I guess we should probably get back to our fight."

"But I don't want to fight you," Roshi said.

"I don't want to, either. But there is no other way out of this."

Roshi opened his mouth but before he could say anything more, Birdo fired another plain white egg from her cannon-like mouth and he barely had time to dodge to the side before it whizzed white past where his head had been. He found himself right back where he'd been earlier and he still didn't seem to have any way to defend himself from her attacks. Despite that, though, he did his best to keep dodging.

He dove under one egg and found himself lying on the grass-covered ground as Birdo prepared another attack. Another egg shot towards him and he rolled to the side to avoid it, finding himself directly in front of an extra thick clump of grass. Almost instinctively, he grabbed hold of that clump as he rose back to his feet, pulling a large turnip out of the ground.

After Birdo fired another shot at him, Roshi tossed the turnip, the only thing he could do. He managed to hit her directly in the face with the pale root vegetable, knocking her back and sending her next egg flying randomly up into the sky. Birdo quickly reoriented herself, though, and fired another egg that struck Roshi in the gut and once again he found himself winded and lying on his back. Seemingly defenseless, Roshi watched as Birdo walked over to him again and looked down on him disdainfully.

"I'm sure that you had an easy life," she said. "You're normal, after all. You wouldn't understand what I've been through to get here."

Roshi wasn't sure where this was coming from but as long as Birdo was talking, she wasn't attacking him, so he decided to try and keep the dialogue going until he could come up with another plan.

"Normal? What's normal about me?" he asked angrily. "Have you ever seen a fat yoshi before? I'm slow, I'm weak, I get tired easily, and there's nothing I can do about it. The other kids used to pick on me and call me names all the time for something that isn't even my fault!"

That seemed to draw Birdo's attention and she seemed almost curious as she replied. "Life's just cruel to people who are different. If you really had it that rough on the other side, then why don't you join us?"

"Why, just because I grew up with a few jerks?" he asked. "I may not have had the best childhood but I got out of that. I made friends, I moved away and despite everything, I'm actually happy now. But even if I hadn't, I still wouldn't join you. Trying to conquer people is just stupid. If you're angry that people treated you badly, then treating others badly isn't the answer. That just makes even more people feel bad."

Birdo actually rolled her eyes at that and seemed to grow cold.

"For a moment there, I thought you might have actually understood. But, it seems I was wrong," she said. "I suppose those weren't bad as far as final words go, though. I'd say it was nice to have met you before finishing you off but I don't feel like lying."

Birdo fired another egg and Roshi acted instinctively, doing the only thing he could. He ate it. He lashed his long, sticky tongue out as soon as the white projectile left Birdo's mouth, grabbed the egg and pulled it into his own mouth. Birdo stepped back in surprise, giving Roshi an opening to roll backward and rise onto his feet but the action caused him to involuntarily swallow the egg.

He tried not to think about how gross that was and coughed. Then he felt something uncomfortably large shoot out his other end. His eyes widened and he turned around to see it, lying on the grass behind him. An egg, not like the plain white ones that Birdo kept firing at him. This one was larger, much wider around and covered in big yellow spots.

It was his egg. The first he'd ever laid.

He had very mixed feelings about that, to put it lightly. Why did male yoshis even lay eggs? To his knowledge, no other species did that.

Regardless, he grabbed the egg and used it the way he'd seen the others from his village do countless times before. He threw it directly at Birdo. She was stunned by the unexpected development just long enough not to react before the white and yellow egg shattered against her face and knocked her down. She didn't get up again.

"Are you alright?" Roshi asked as he hurried to her side.

"Why do you care?" she groaned, rolling onto her back but otherwise making no attempt to do anything else. "I'm your enemy."

"Why wouldn't I care?" Roshi asked in turn, genuinely not understanding what she meant.

"Heh, I wish more people could have been like you when I was alive," she said weakly. "I'll be fine but I guess you somehow managed to beat me, fair and square. I'll stay out of your way for now. If you keep heading down to the base of this mountain, you'll eventually find yourself back where you and your friends were captured earlier. I'm not sure where the others would have taken them, though. But who knows, maybe you'll get lucky and run into each other. I hear that's what friends do, not that I'd know anything about that."

"Thank you," Roshi nodded and turned to leave, walking along the path down the mountain.

The winds were howling and a torrential downpour beat down so hard that several nearby trees were threatening to collapse under the strain. Birdo found herself stuck in the middle of the jungle in the middle of a tropical storm, unlike anything she'd ever experienced. Not that she had anywhere else to be. It had been years since she'd been banished from the village and she couldn't even remember when the last time she'd seen another yoshi. Not that it mattered. They could all drown in this storm for all she cared.

Birdo crawled into a large, hollowed-out log for shelter, not that it did much when she was already soaked and freezing cold. She sneezed, accidentally splattering egg yolk and fragments of shell splattered all over the place. As if it couldn't have been any more uncomfortable in there.

She'd finally had enough. She couldn't take anymore. She had started life at nothing and everything had only been downhill from there. She was only torturing herself by letting her life continue on like this.

As she bent down and picked up the sharpest-looking shard of eggshell she could find, she couldn't tell how much of the water rolling off her face was the rain and how much was her own tears. Not that it mattered. She pressed the jagged edge of the shell against her finger, drawing a small trickle of blood to confirm that it would do the job.

She closed her eyes and for a brief moment, everything around her just seemed to fade away. She couldn't even hear the rain anymore as she raised the jagged shell to her neck and-

"I wouldn't do that if I were you."

Birdo froze at the sound of the unfamiliar voice.

"It would be such a shame. I mean, you're already here, I don't think I'd even want to know what would happen if you followed through on that."

She opened her eyes and for a moment couldn't believe what she saw.

Birdo was sitting in a sunny, open field of grass that seemed to go on forever. She could see tall mountains in the distance that looked almost more like massive blocks than real mountains. More important than that, however, was the large frog-like creature standing before her in a cape and crown.

"W-what?" Birdo stammered out, completely and utterly lost. "What? Who are you? Where are we?"

"My name is Wart and this is my kingdom," he said, his voice matching that she had heard a moment ago. "You look hungry. Would you like to come to my castle, and have a warm meal? You'll have to leave that behind, though."

Birdo dropped her improvised shiv at once, her roaring stomach taking precedence over everything else. When had the last time she'd had anything to eat that she hadn't had to forage for herself been?

That was how Birdo had found herself in the realm of dreams, so cut off from everything and everyone around her that she'd simply faded away, leaving nothing so much as a memory behind. And it was how she'd found herself in the service of her king, the first person to have ever shown her even the slightest hint of kindness.

After a few steps, though, he hesitated and went back to Birdo's side. "Have you really never had a friend before?"

"Don't remind me," Birdo groaned.

"That just seems too sad." Roshi smiled softly at her and held his hand out for her to grab. "If you want, I can be your friend."

"I think it's a bit late for that, don't you?"

"It's never too late," Roshi countered. "Let's be friends. And if you come with me, I'm sure my friends would be willing to be yours as well. What do you say?"

Birdo rolled her eyes but grabbed his hand and pulled herself up to her feet. "I say you're crazy. But, I don't know. It sounds kind of nice. Sure, I'll give it a try."

And with that, the two outcast yoshis made their way down the mountain together, hand in hand.

Author's Notes: Well, this was depressing to write. I actually ended up changing the ending just because it was getting a bit too much for me. When planning the story originally, I was going to have Birdo get defeated like the other 8-bits but when I was writing this chapter I decided to have Roshi walk away and leave her fate more ambiguous. But I just felt too bad for her, so now she's joining the heroes. She deserves friends, after all, just like everyone does.

I've been in something of a writing slump lately and do you know what helps me with that? Talking about my stories. It often feels like I'm just throwing words out into a void when I'm not getting any feedback on my stories and it really kills my enthusiasm and interest, but on the other hand, reading people's comments and being able to talk to people about the fics I write helps me feel like I'm doing more than just spinning my wheels by trying to write. If you'd like to help me with that, then might I suggest joining my Discord server (link in my profile)? It's rather quiet over there right now and I'd love to have more people to chat with. I'm also getting ready for this year's NaNoWriMo coming up in just a couple of months and currently trying to decide which story idea I want to flesh out for this year's project. I'm going to be sharing some of those ideas in my server soon and maybe opening a poll or something to see which one people will be most interested in, so if you want to take part in that, then you should definitely consider joining. But even if you don't, that's fine too.