Hydrus waved his fingers and he heard the lock in the doorknob turn over. He lifted his hand up an inch or two and performed the silent unlocking spell again, turning over the next tumbler. He snapped his fingers and the last barrier to entry, a thin chain, snapped.

'Like taking candy from a magicless baby.'

The air in Ireland was a touch warmer than up in Scotland at Hogwarts. The house he was in front of was a part of a muggle burrough, filled with more squatters than homeowners, and the locks on the door certainly weren't meant to keep someone like him out. Hydrus wondered if the poor bastard inside even had any magical defences set up.

He slowly turned the doorknob over, feeling the ever-so-slightly rusted metal of the bolt scrape against its slot. Quiet as possible with a ramshackle door like this, he opened it up while staying behind it. Once he was confident that there wouldn't be a surprise attack or booby trap on the other side, he peered around its edge then stepped in. Just like when he opened it, he took his time while closing it. Couldn't let anyone pop in and see what he was up to, but he also couldn't risk waking the house's occupant.

Well, he could, but that would be dangerous.

He relocked the turning handle of the middle lock then glanced about the moonlit home. The linoleum floors were moulding and peeling, the walls had a trace of damp as well, and the whole place smelled of sage and mildew. If he wasn't in the right place, then it meant there were at least two near-vagrant and god-fearing recluses in town. What could the odds of that be?

Hydrus made his way through the home, testing each step before he put his full weight forward. It was impossible to completely avoid the creaking of the floor, but he minimised it wherever possible. Eventually he stumbled upon another locked door, except when he waved his fingers over this one, the silent Alohomora fizzled out.

"There we go," he breathed, less than even a whisper. "I'll save you for later."

He continued his exploration. Once he was certain the locked one was the only room he couldn't enter, no basements or attics to be found, he returned. His insanity told him to give a funny knock before entering, the old 'shave and a haircut' rhythm perhaps, but he squashed that down. Murder was no time for madness.

Without further adieu he kicked open the door.

As soon as he did so, a much louder bang rang out.

He pulled back out of the door frame as several more gunshots followed the first. He turned his crippled arm over and saw two rapidly growing bloodstains on his sleeve, one on either side, and put it aside as a non concern. As soon as he heard the tell-tale clicks of an empty magazine, he stepped back into the door frame and launched a mass paralysation spell.

It was a bit of wandwork that Draco had happened to reinvent, turning a more direct and focused spell into an 'explosion'. The trick was to amplify the intensity of whatever you cast, yet focus it into a hyper-fixated point. Hydrus liked to visualise it as setting a block of stone atop a steel spike, then smashing the shit out of it with a cartoonishly large mallet. Sure, if the conditions were right or the spell was of a certain plasticity, it might do what you want and drive the theoretical spike into the block.

More often though, it just shattered into a million pieces. And those million pieces were the shrapnel with which your spell could slaughter, or in this case stun, your enemies.

His victim let out a small squelching sound as one of the 'shards' of the spell struck him. Hydrus had stepped back behind the door frame as soon as he cast it, but had left his head ducked and peering around the corner. The man slumped to his knees first, then his arms as the pistol went clattering to the floor, then all the way down. The expected drawback to such explosive spell manipulation was its degradation in efficacy, but in this case it would still hold for long enough.

"There you are," Hydrus said. "Good shot, by the way."

The man said nothing in response, completely immobilised. Hydrus stepped into the room and cast a much more standard stunning spell to make sure the man didn't get up. Next he probably should've taken care of his arm, but he told himself that he was distracted. He'd get it to it later. No need to rush to the inevitable. He was fine.

Everything was fine.

He was supposed to be breaking his bargain, and he would, but that was terrifying him for some reason. He'd talked a big game, especially to his Bella, about finally abandoning Magic but now that it had come time to do it he was hesitating. Even after the goddess had blatantly attacked him through Draco it was hard. Magic had been the only thing who'd been a certainty in his past, and now here she was as the biggest variable in this new war.

No. Not a variable. A genuine foe he needed to deal with. That's why he had come to this fucking…

"Do you know who I am?" Hydrus asked, squatting down beside the Irishman. "Why I'm here?"

The man said nothing.

"Oh. Right."

Hydrus sighed. What the hell was he doing here? Why was he delaying the inevitable? Because he could, obviously. Because he was fine. Everything was…

"Knock it off!" Hydrus snapped at himself, forcing the madness back down. "Sorry about that. My family's gone a bit mad lately."

Still, the man said nothing.

"I have a theory about it, you know," he continued. "I think my great-grandfather, or at least the man I'm pretending is my great-grandfather, has gone so insane that it's spreading to us from however many hundreds if not thousands of kilometres away he is."

And even still, the man said nothing.

Very rude.

"And I think the reason I'm not getting it as bad," Hydrus said. "Is that I'm stronger than he is. Which is comforting in a way, but at the same time?" He threw up his hand and the shortened stump of his other arm, sending a splash of blood across the Irishman's face. "I can feel it getting worse, which is probably a really bad thing, you know?

"Cus that means he's getting stronger, maybe even stronger than me." He leaned down and gave a playful punch to the paralysed man's shoulder. "How scary is that, right?"

It'd be fine though. Arcturus wasn't a true combat specialist like Hydrus was. He'd fought his fair share of duels, and obviously he'd spent his prime on the fields of war, but it wasn't the same. The old man was only practised against forces that couldn't compare to him on an individual level. He had no idea what it was like to duel against another titan. He'd never learned at the foot of the greatest warlock to ever live, never been passed the secrets of that warlock's lover and rival, never fought mano e mano against the second most deadly wizard to have ever walked the face of the earth.

But Hydrus had. He'd be fine.

Everything would be f—

"Fuck off!" he shouted at himself. "God, can't a man get some peace and quiet in his own damned head?"

Hydrus took a deep breath, then sighed it out slowly. 'Please, for the love of everything, let this one know something.'

He grabbed hold of the squibs head, then peeled open his eyes. The man's face couldn't quite make an expression, but Hydrus got the feeling as he looked deep into his prey's soul that the Irishman was angry and afraid. That was fair.

"Legilimens."

Draco leaned against Luna as they walked through Hogsmeade. He didn't need to, Hydrus's healing spell the other day had left him feeling better than he had in a long time, but it felt nice to just unburden some of his weight on his girlfriend. It was like a more physical version of losing the weight he actually wanted gone off of his shoulders.

"So I told my dad all that," Luna was saying. "But he just said I wasn't paying attention! That the sprites must've been distracting us while we were heading back to the school, and that there had to have been more than one glunket. Can you believe that?"

"I genuinely can't," he 'agreed'. "Can we get some food now?"

"Sure!" His girlfriend stopped and leaned up to kiss him on the cheek, forcing the corner of his lip up into a half smile. "What do you want, handsome?"

"Let's just go to the Herschel's," Draco said. "Hydrus said it was safe there."

There was a groan behind them, and he turned to glare at Blaise. Walking like a parade in their wake were the other fifth year Slytherins, each of whom were under his (and thus Hydrus's) orders not to come alone to Hogsmeade this weekend. Draco would've felt bad, or at least embarrassed, at forcing them all to come along for his date with Luna if it weren't for his lingering bitterness over the way they'd treated him at the Black Coronation party this Summer.

"Got something to say?" he demanded.

"Oh, no no no." Blaise's sarcasm was palpable. "Just super excited to eat there again."

"Me too!" Helena chirped without a hint of irony. "I love Mrs. Herschel, she's such a sweet old lady."

Draco snorted and started making his way towards the diner. He didn't know if it was something Hydrus had done or if it was just the girl's relief at not having to hide herself anymore, but Hellena was becoming much more sociable as of late. Her cousin was another story, Michael was like a mime half the time, but at least the 'dumb' one of the two was improving.

As they made their way through the magical village, an uncomfortable sensation started running up Draco's spine. It felt like they were being followed. He kept turning over his shoulder to see if anything was there, but each time there was nothing to be seen.

"What's the matter?" Luna asked. "Nargles?"

"I'm afraid it might be worse," he half-muttered. "Come on, let's pick up the pa—"

Grrrrrrr.

If Draco had felt uncomfortable before, now it was like he'd frozen over. He and everyone else immediately took hold of their wands, their heads were snapping back and forth, but if anyone was seeing something he missed they kept it to themself.

"You guys heard that too, right?" he asked. "What was it?"

A few of the people mulling around the fifth years shot them curious glances as they froze, but no one stopped like they had.

"Yeah," Daphne said. "And I don't know."

"Me neither," Pansy agreed, always wanting to get one in on Daphne. "It sounded like a wolf."

"It wasn't a damned—" Draco cut himself off as a creature suddenly appeared, stalking towards them from an alley. "What the fuck is that?"

Hydrus fingered the wound in his arm. The corpse of the squib he'd just killed was already beginning to decompose beside him, and the smell was throwing him off. He couldn't tell if the solid bit of something he was poking at in his lame arm was a piece of his ulna, or shrapnel from the bullet. If he tried using the accio charm to rip it out, he might just summon up a whole clip of the projectiles, so he was putting that option off for now.

"Come on," he whined. "Stop turning you stupid…"

When it once more flipped around his finger nail rather than being hooked by it, he snapped. He reached into his pocket and withdrew his pocket knife, then began filleting away layers of flesh. Blood was pouring from the mutilation but he let out a sigh of relief when he heard the tink of metal falling against the ground.

'Thank Merlin I didn't try and heal it,' he thought, now finally casting the working. "Right. Who's next?"

The squib's memories had revealed that he was a worshipper of Death who prayed to the god everyday to be granted some sort of power. His parents were poor muggle-borns from Ireland, the sort who went to Hogwarts but had to reacclimate to the muggle life once no one wanted to hire them. They had always spoken in grand reverie whenever the subject of their schooling was brought up, like it was the only part of their lives that mattered, and it had traumatised their son when it was discovered he wasn't magical like them.

That he would never get to experience the 'only' good part of life.

Hydrus had hoped the Irishman was worshipping Magic when he first caught the man's tail. He'd been a passing recollection from a Veela who worshipped her, a notable proselytiser in their community though not the woman he'd met on their sacred resting ground. She'd interacted with the squib a few times at an apothecary that specialised in religious sacraments and herbs. Hydrus had tracked him down from that information, hoping to have finally found a human who worshipped the goddess, only to discover the man belonged to his other foe.

"Fucking idiot," he muttered. "Wasted all that time worshipping the wrong bloody god."

Hydrus knew that wasn't fair, that it was just what he wanted to say to himself, but it felt good to get it off his chest. He winced as the corpse's own chest 'popped', the rotting gases in its stomach finally overfilling the organ. Why did the Black family magic have to be so damned… Rotten.

It was a ridiculous thing, but that was what finally tipped the scales.

The smell of that festering, disgusting flesh broke him.

He missed his old magic. He missed feeling like the winds themselves were his to command. He missed feeling like he was free, even when he was imprisoned in the bowels of a hellish castle. He missed the way it uplifted him and all but whispered in his ear that none of the darkness he suffered through would matter when it was all over.

The Black family magic did the opposite. It spoke to cruelty and violence, of decay and disease. Death himself was enshrined in such filth, and as the scent of his work continued to poke at Hydrus's gag reflex, he wanted less and less to have anything to do with it. Even if he had to give up on something, or rather someone, who had meant so much to him, it would be worth it.

It had to be.

"Alright then." He prepared to apparate away. "Let's break this fucking bargain."

He appeared along the bank of the lake he'd raised his familiar in. The air here was a great deal colder so he cast a warming charm on himself to fight it off. Once he settled down just past the edge of the water, he felt around his neck for Apophis.

"Do you ever miss this place?" he hissed.

Apophis appeared. The snake certainly didn't look like he'd missed his original home. The feathers on his head were up and splayed out like the fan of a frilled lizard, and even though he wasn't moving, his muscles were rippling beneath his scales.

"No," the basilisk answered. "This is the former queen's love's home. Not my own."

"Oh, the 'former queen's love', huh?" Hydrus said, amused. "Are you still mad at your uncle?"

"He is no longer my uncle!" Apophis shouted, his agitation growing even stronger. "He betrayed me! My trust!"

"I see. Well I'm sorry you feel that way." Hydrus ran his fingers along Apophis's scales, enjoying their smoothness. "Apophis. You really do think of me as your father, don't you?"

"Of course," his familiar hissed, sounding more confused than anything. "It was you who hatched me, who gave me strength. What else would you be?"

What else would he be indeed. Unlike Hydrus's half-baked affections for his 'peers' at Hogwarts, there was no uncertainty towards his feelings for Apophis. He might've hatched the basilisk with nothing more than a goal towards decursing a ring, but to his 'son' it was a genuine relationship. Throughout all of Hydrus's protests and admonishments, his familiar had never once broken from his pattern of calling him 'father'.

"I love you, Apophis," Hydrus said without the use of parseltongue. "I love you like I would my own child."

Genuine and unadulterated joy flooded over to him through their spiritual bond. He could see the glow from the runes of flesh illuminating Apophis. The basilisk hissed but it didn't mean anything, it was just an expression of happiness, love, and pure, unmitigated love that poured out from their bond to Hydrus was almost overwhelming.

But the bargain didn't break.

"Fucking cunt," he muttered. Apophis's joy vanished. "Not you, I meant Magic. Her bargain is still stopping me from loving you back."

Draco was running. He'd all but shoved Luna into Daphne's arms before shouting at the other girl to keep her safe. The beasts were nipping at his heels like it was a damned game and there was nothing he could do to stop them besides continuing on. His throat felt like it was going to explode with each heaving breath he took, his lungs were on fire, and he couldn't feel his legs at all anymore. He had no idea how long he'd been running for, it was impossible to keep track like this.

The creatures were howling and barking behind him like the wolves Pansy had accused them of being. The fact that they were nearly twice as large as such canines meant the sounds were much, much louder unfortunately. It felt like it was hellhounds on his heels rather than what they actually were.

'Hydrus, please,' he silently begged, too exerted and exhausted to even think of speaking. 'Help.'

Giannis painted another rune on the wall. It was, as he called it, the north-east squiggle rune. There were loads of squiggle runes, but this one only worked when it was set to the north-east in the placement. That's why he called it the north-east squiggle rune. Once he'd given the finished drawing an up and down look over, he nodded his head.

It was perfect.

Next up he needed to come up with a friend for that rune. The north-east squiggle rune was rivals with the the sunny rune he'd put on the other end of this scheme, and the sunny rune had the moony rune to be friends with, so the north-east squiggle rune needed a friend too. It wouldn't be fair otherwise.

"Giannis," a voice said. He spun around, sending a bit of paint flying across the ground. "Good to see ya, kiddo."

"Hydrus!"

His best friend was looking skinnier than when Giannis had last seen him. Or… no, it was just his face. The rest of him was still kinda muscley, it was only his face that had taken on a more skeletal appearance. Sirius's son's cheeks were sunken, his eyes were circled in grey and brown, and all of him had gone pale as stone.

Giannis threw his paintbrush to the side and went dashing into Hydrus's arms. The older boy laughed and threw him up into the air. Giannis's own laughter came pouring out of him as he soared, though it was interrupted by a small 'oof!' when Hydrus caught him. Giggling, he latched onto Hydrus to make sure he didn't get tossed up again.

"I missed you!" Giannis shouted. "What are you doing here?"

"Just need to borrow you for a bit," Hydrus said. "Come on."

Before he could ask what that meant, they popped away. They reappeared in the living room of their home, and he smiled as he was floated over into the awaiting arms of Bella. The woman pulled him into a crushing hug that, despite his best efforts, he couldn't escape from.

"B-, Bella!" he exclaimed. "Lemme go!"

"Nu-uh," she said. "Bella missed her baby boy."

"Hydrus!"

"Good luck." Hydrus plopped onto the couch opposite of them. "Not even I can escape that trap."

Giannis continued to try and squirm out of Bella's grasp, but it was like the woman was a spider. Every time he thought he was free she'd reel him back in with magic. It wasn't fair at all.

"Bella!" he shouted again. "Let me go!"

He continued to try and wrestle himself away from the clingy woman, but he found himself paying more attention to Hydrus now. The tired looking older boy was staring at him like he was waiting for him to do something. Giannis frowned when he noticed something odd.

"You're hairy." Hydrus's eyes went wide and he recoiled slightly. "Are you growing a beard?"

The teen blinked, then laughed. It seemed like he was going crazy once again. Seemed like the entire Black family was doing that these days. Hydrus continued to laugh for a really, really long time, then suddenly stopped and looked Giannis dead on. The Greek boy pulled away slightly. Did he do something wrong? His best friend finally gave a more normal looking smile and shook his head, waving his hand to cast some spell.

"Giannis, there's something I need to tell you," Hydrus said. "Do you remember how I told you about that goddess I used to worship, Magic?"

"Yeah?" Giannis said, cocking his head to the side. "What about it?"

"She and I had a bargain." Hydrus snapped his fingers and although Giannis wasn't sure which spell he was supposed to be doing, it was impossible to miss the spots of light that began to appear along his arm. "She changed my physical appearance and made me a good deal younger.

"In exchange for that, I gave her something that I didn't particularly want. For a while there I'd even forgotten what I'd given her, in fact." Hydrus was rubbing at his furry jaw. "I sold her my memories of, and my ability to love, those I considered my children."

Giannis's eyes widened. "Huh?"

"I had planned to keep the bargain going for so long as I was at war with Death, but Magic saw an opportunity to take a shot at me by attacking my cousin, Draco Malfoy," Hydrus continued. "So instead I'm going to break it now. Giannis?"

"Y-, Yeah?" He allowed Bella to grab him even tighter. She'd keep him safe, right? "What do I need to do?"

"You already did it," Hydrus said. "From the moment you told me your stories in that diary, I've felt like I had to protect you. The family I grew up in was a lot like yours, though not quite as bad. They called me a freak because they knew my parents were magical, and they hated that I inherited that from them."

Giannis blinked. Hydrus had mentioned a few times that he didn't always live with Sirius and Bella, but he'd never known the full story behind it. Is that why he'd always known what to say to him?

"I more or less kidnapped you because I didn't want you to suffer the way I did," Hydrus continued. "I…" He shook his head. "No, that's a lie. I didn't care if you suffered."

Giannis reeled back a bit.

"Like I said, I sold my love for my kids, and that was exactly the niche you were carving in my heart. That's why, until now, I've never said anything back when you said you loved me." Hydrus stared up at the ceiling. No, he glared up at it. "And I'm sorry if that's caused you any sorts of issues. I promise, and I hope you now understand, it wasn't your fault."

"Oh, uh, no! You're fine, I really appreciate everything you did for me." Giannis shrugged. "Sirius and Miss Bones and Bella all love me lots. You don't need to if you don't want to, I—"

"You deserve to be loved, Giannis."

Giannis's breath caught in his throat. Before he knew it there were tears in his eyes. Why was he crying?

"Shhh, baby, it's okay," Bella said. "Momma Bella is here."

"I'm going to attempt to break my bargain now, Giannis," Hydrus said. "No one in the entire world has pushed it so close to the breaking point as you. I love you."

A smile spread across his face like wildfire. "I love you too."

Hydrus stared at him for a moment, then scowled. "Fuck, it's still not working."

"What?" Giannis tried to pull away from Bella. "What's not—"

He cut himself off as he realised Hydrus was really, really glowing now. He had spots of light running from the top of his head to down past his collar, all along his arms and probably the rest of him too. Were those his runes? But that didn't make sense, the runes shouldn't be able to glow. They were also all in the wrong spots.

Were there new runes?

"Bella, look after him for me," Hydrus said. "I'm going to go visit your older sister."

"Tell her I said hello," the woman said absentmindedly. She was running her fingers through Giannis's hair yet again. "I love you, dear."

"Love you too," he muttered back. "And I love you Giannis, even if this stupid bargain won't let me even…"

The rest of what he said faded away as he wandered off. Giannis was really, really starting to dislike all these gods. It was bad enough the one he started with hated him, now the one Hydrus had hated him too. He was busier than ever now that he was putting safety runes everywhere to keep his family safe from the death god, and he'd heard the grownups talking about one called Fate too.

Why did all the gods have to be such jerks?

There was a loud hiss and he jumped, but it turned out to just be Apophis. The basilisk appeared and was snapping its head back and forth from where Bella was holding him tight enough to leave an impression in his dragon-like scales to where Hydrus had left. The snake's hissing continued even as Bella pulled him in close to give him a kiss and begin nuzzling his feathers, freeing Giannis from his own imprisonment in her arms.

"And there's my other baby!" she said. "Oh, Momma Bella missed her Apophis, yes she did."

Giannis took the opportunity to slide out of her lap and straighten out his clothes. He rubbed at his stomach where she'd been squeezing him like the snake she was strangling now could've. The basilisk hissed at him, and although Giannis couldn't understand, he could almost hear Apophis asking him for help.

"Um, Bella?" he tested. "Can I go play with Apophis?"

He wasn't exactly sure why Bella wanted to be his mom so bad, but he could use that to his advantage now. The woman pouted at him and pulled Apophis in even closer, like he was going to steal the basilisk away.

"No," she huffed. "He's my baby."

That was all Giannis needed to hear to give up, but Apophis's amber-lidded eyes begged him to stay and save him.

"B-, but," he started. "I want to… Play with my brother?"

Bella blinked at him, then let a high-pitched humming sound. "Oh, of course then, sweetie!"

The woman gave the snake another loud, smacking kiss, then presented him to Giannis. He reached out and Apophis practically lunged at him, wrapping him up so quickly it was like the snake was pretending to be a boulder python. It would've been scary if it weren't for Bella cooing and hawing over them the whole time. It seemed even Hydrus's familiar was terrified of the woman when she got like this though, Apophis turned invisible and was practically strangling Giannis with the way he was trying to pull him away.

"Bye, Bella!" Giannis said, half-skipping and half-running to the stairs so Apophis would quit strangling him. "Love you!"

"I love you too, dear!" Bella called. "And Hydrus will love you too! Soon! I promise!"

"Okay!" Giannis half-heartedly called back.

He wasn't sure why they thought he'd care so much about that. Hydrus was wrong. Love wasn't something anyone deserved, it was just something you either got or you didn't. Giannis loved Hydrus and Bella and Sirius and Miss Bones and Mrs. Weasley and little Remus and little Sirius and Apophis and Argus and a ton of others. But they didn't have to love him back. They didn't hit him, or throw him down the stairs, or—

"Hey!" he exclaimed as Apophis's tongue suddenly shot out, touching a bit of moisture on his cheek. "That hurts!"

The tiny amount of venom that had transferred over from the 'kiss' had been diluted by his tears so it wasn't deadly, but it did still sting. He glared at his 'brother' but the basilisk just headbutted him. Giannis sniffled and gave what he hoped was a much more gentle hug than Bella's in return.

"You're the coolest, Apophis," he said. "Come on. Let's go see if the changes I made are gonna work this time."

Ted stared at his wife. His wife stared back at him. His… Second-cousin-in-law slash future-brother-in-law was staring at him too. Maybe in another world it could've been a more comfortable staring contest, but his wife was quite clearly mad, as was his cousin-brother-in-law, and Andromeda was holding a bone saw just above the young teen's shoulder. Hydrus, for his part, had a strap of leather clenched between his teeth and a 'do you mind?' expression on his face that did nothing but add to the absolute insanity of the situation.

"I was gone for five minutes," Ted eventually said. "What the fuck is happening."

It should've been a question, but it was quite clear 'what' was happening. The real question was why his wife was about to cut off the rest of Hydrus's arm.

"Surgery," Andromeda answered. "Hydrus needs to lose his arm."

The teen reached up to take out the leather strip from his mouth. "And maybe my legs. I'm trying to break a bargain I made with a god."

"Wh—" Ted shook his head. "No!" He drew his wand and pointed it at the demented duo. "Aguamenti!"

Water came bursting out to drench them. Andromeda gasped in shock, but Hydrus just stared him down without breaking eye contact. For a moment Ted feared for his life, but if he was reading the Black right, the madness had vacated his eyes.

"Thank you," Hydrus said quietly. "But I was mad on purpose. I need to lose the arm. It's important."

"Why?"

"Because you stupid—!" Andromeda shouted. She'd cut herself off when Ted cocked an eyebrow at her, and for a moment he hoped she was going to regain her own sanity. She didn't, however. "…—ly handsome man. He needs to get rid of some runes carved into his flesh to break their effect."

He groaned and rubbed at his forehead. His wife had been taking a leave of work the past few weeks and now it seemed like things were getting worse. Why'd he have to fall in love with such an insane woman? Sure she was beautiful, intelligent, kind, understanding, and more, but still.

It was a real pain in the ass.

"Relax, Ted," Hydrus said. "I promise, this isn't just insanity. I really do need to cut off my limbs if I want to put an end to this recent madness infection we're going through."

"Wait." Ted shook his head. "It's not just Andromeda?"

"No, it's the whole Black family." His relative-in-law's tone was gentle and placating, though the effect was greatly diminished by his love tapping a damned bone saw against her thigh. "And although this won't be an immediate solution, it is an important step in getting there."

"But…" He scoffed. "Why saw it off. We have magic!"

Hydrus looked like he'd been slapped, and then he glared at Andromeda. "Hey. Wait. Why the fuck aren't you using magic?"

"I always wanted to try one of these!"

The two Blacks began to shout at each other and Ted desperately wanted to escape.

When he'd realised how much Andromeda wanted back in with her family, he'd steeled himself for the sorts of political and interfamilial drama he might get involved in. As a doctor at St. Mungo's, he was well versed in traversing murky social waters. Whether it was knowing how to treat certain patients certain ways, or how to get out of hot water after an egregious display of 'muggleness' at a conference, he could handle most problems. He'd thought no matter what came their way, the Tonks family could handle it.

Then he'd woken up one night to discover his wife brewing a potion that could, in her insane estimation, regrow teeth from one's arm to be transplanted later.

The only thing it'd grown on his arm was a rash.

Before he could break up their rapidly escalating fight with another cast of Aguamenti, the Black house elf Kreacher appeared. The diminutive creature was baring his fangs and snapped his fingers to separate Andromeda away from where she was grabbing hold of Hydrus's hair to scream at him.

"Lord Master Hydrus!" Kreacher shouted. "Mister Draco is under attack."

Ted stumbled back as Hydrus's magic pulsed through the air. He gasped and cringed at the necrotic energy contained in that ungodly wave. How the hell had Andromeda just been wrestling with the teen?

"Take me to him," Hydrus ordered. "Now."

The two popped away and Ted buried his face in his palms when his wife threw the saw she'd been carrying against their basement wall.

"Fuck you too!" Andromeda shouted. "I didn't want to use that thing anyways!"

Hydrus appeared and without thinking swung his hand. Miasmic energy came pouring out of him at the thing he'd appeared in front of, and to his shock the 'spell' did nothing more than push the beast back. The canine skidded to a stop then glared and growled at him.

"What the fuck?"

"Hydrus!" He turned his head slightly to better hear whoever was shouting at him. "It's your patronus!"

Hydrus blinked. Oh shit.

It was indeed the 'jornrir' that Bella had told him about. The wolf-like being had silvery-grey fur that was as sleek as the metal itself. Its crown probably came up to just around Hydrus's shoulder and the muscles were visibly pulsing beneath all its fur. He glared at the beast and it snarled back at him, its snake-like tail snapping back and forth with audible cracks.

"What a surprise," Hydrus said. "Expecto Patronum!"

He was sending his Patronus to die, but he needed to buy some time. He wheeled around and saw Draco and Luna huddled together along the alley wall. Why the fuck were they in an alley? He glanced around and realised it must've been Hogsmeade weekend.

"Get the fuck out of here," he ordered. "Go to the Herschels. They'll protect you."

He wasn't sure if that was true, but it was their best opportunity.

"Go!" Draco snapped. Hydrus glared at the blonde for shouting at Luna, but the girl just nodded. "I'll follow."

"I meant both of you," Hydrus said. "Get out of here, Draco."

"I can handle myself." The teen stepped up beside him and pointed his wand at the jornrir who was being bullied by Hydrus's Patronus. "Watch."

His spell was pretty enough, Hydrus winced at the rainbow light bursting from its edges, but it didn't do much besides distract him. If either the real or spellwork jornrirs noticed it at all they didn't show it.

"Fuck off ya pretty lights pansy," he barked. Draco pulled away like he'd been stung by a scorpion. "I don't need your help. Honestly you're as useful as a rooster in a cow barn."

Hydrus didn't want to even think about how deep into the madness he'd reached for that metaphor. He finally drew his own wand and stabbed it at the ground in front of the duelling dogs.

"Stalagmite." A spear of stone like the spike on a pineapple shot up and stabbed the much more corporeal jornrir. "Rot, you fuck."

It was obvious the animals were immune to magical workings, so the solution was to use magic to turn more mundane materials into lethal objects. Hydrus's smile was pure and unadulterated malevolence as he watched the earthen sword stab deep into the flesh of the supposedly extinct monster. The jornrir more screamed than howled in pain as it was lifted up into the air and sank deeper upon the stalagmite. That reminded Hydrus of another spell.

"Cardom."

The spike of stone earth exploded into further thorns. The growths punctured nearly every last inch of the jornrir until it looked more like a fleshy ball of a pincushion than a canine. Hydrus's smile deepened as he waved his hand, vanishing away the stalagmite.

"There," he said. "That wasn't so bad…" He turned his neck over in a series of pops and cracks. "No problem at all. Everything is fine."

"Hydrus!"

His eyes shot to the right to meet Draco's, the blonde still hadn't left, and saw the teen pointing further past the alleyway. Two more jornrirs were approaching, and they weren't alone. Sirius was walking between them. Hydrus's father didn't look half as dishevelled as Bones had said, the woman had claimed he was a whimpering baby thanks to the madness. What the hell was going on?

"Hello! You fucking interloper…" Sirius called. "I was hoping you'd show up."

Hydrus frowned. "Sirius?"

"Avada Kedavra!" Hydrus swung his hand up, then batted away the corpse of the canary he'd summoned to take the killing curse for him. "Interloper!"

"Wait…" Sirius launched another three killing curses at him, clearly experienced but unpracticed with the forbidden spell given his speed. "You're not Sirius.

"You're Arcturus, aren't you?" Hydrus said. "You've used magic to transform yourself into your grandson. Were you really that obsessed with him?"

"You're going to suffer!" Arcturus screeched at him. The man was so deep in the throws of madness that it was uncomfortable. "I"ll torture you, interloper!"

"No you won't." Hydrus glanced down at the transformed wizard's waist, hating himself for not noticing the sword was missing. "You'll die like a stuck fucking pig, you zombie."

"Avada Kedavra!"

Hydrus tried to summon up another canary, then gasped and dodged out of the way as his magic was ripped from him instead of going to the spell. He watched as the green bolt of death shot through the space he'd just occupied. The energy pierced the air like an arrow and if it were anything more physical Hydrus suspected he'd hear it whistling. Arcturus might not have been as practised with him at the curse, but he certainly knew how to wield it.

"Come on, Grandpa!" Hydrus shouted, pulling behind a trash bin that was sitting in the alley. "It doesn't have to be like this!"

"Die!" Arcturus shouted. "Die you imposter!"

Hydrus tried to apparate, but each time he tried the magic was sucked up like a crumb in front of a vacuum. What he wouldn't give for the insane war veteran to get into a rhythm long enough for him to make a break for it and more physically assault him. Instead Arcturus kept on throwing Avada Kedavra's every two, three, or four seconds at random. It was like purposefully chaotic clockwork. The time traveller might've been impressed if it weren't for how anxious he was.

It'd be a pain in the ass to survive.

Still, he'd be fine.

Everything would be fine.

"Just stop!" Hydrus pleaded. "I'll surrender! No more fighting, no more anything, I give up!"

If Arcturus even heard him he didn't show it. The calls for and results of the killing curse didn't let up for a moment. Hydrus grit his teeth and began digging his nails into the cobblestone beneath his feet. If he couldn't magic his way out of this one, he'd dig his way out. The more rational part of his mind told him that it was impossible, but he'd much rather die trying than giving up.

Draco's voice suddenly rang out. "Luxcaeca!"

Hydrus wanted to roar at the idiotic boy for still being there, but he was too distracted by the fact that he was suddenly blind. The whole world had gone bright white, and he was too stunned to even stop Draco from grabbing his arm and dragging him away. He was shaking his head to try and get any of his vision back, but just like at the Study Club's year-opening game, the spell was too damned potent.

"Fucking Malfoy's," Hydrus muttered as he continued to be dragged away. "Always with the fucking lights and—"

"Come on!" Draco shouted. "Run!"

"You try running blind!" Hydrus shouted back. "Don't even have my fucking magic you little…"

He cut himself off as he nearly tripped, causing both of them to stumble. It was getting harder and harder to reel in his madness thanks to Arcturus being so close by, but that moment brought him back to his senses for long enough to get them back moving.

"Draco, if need be, you need to be willing to let me die," Hydrus said. "Once I'm dead, the war with Death will be over, and things will go back to how they were."

"Still trying to run here!" Draco snapped. "Save it."

"I'm going to fight with everything I have, but if I do die, I expect you to pick up where I left off." Screw the kid's complaints, he needed to say this now. "I've taught you everything I can, tried to help show you a better way, and if you think it was worth it then please don't let my goals of changing the world die with me."

"I said save it!" Hydrus winced at the sound of Draco slamming a door open without stopping. "We're at the Herschel's now, what next?"

"Hydrus!" It was Mrs. Herschel. "Oh Morgana, are you alright?"

"No, this asshole blinded me," he said. Draco scoffed in protest but he continued on. "Where's Lockhart?"

"Who?" Mrs. Herschel said. "Oh! You mean Greggy! He's in his room, you know how overwhelmed he gets…"

"Oh for…" Hydrus shook his head. "Is everyone here?"

"Yes," Blaise said from somewhere deeper in the restaurant. "What's going on? Why is your father attacking us?"

"That's not my dad, it's my asshole of a great-grandfather," Hydrus said. "Back from the dead. Someone come tie my arms up, an inch below the shoulder, then cut them off."

No one said anything.

"Now, people!" He shouted. Immediately someone came rushing towards him. "Tie them up tight, it's called a tourniquet. It'll stop the bleeding from being fatal."

"Why am I doing this?" It was Blaise again. "What's happening?"

"You don't need to know, just don't be too surprised if I suddenLY—" His voice spiked and he sucked his teeth as Blaise pulled hard enough on whatever he was tying around his arm to hurt. "Suddenly transform. It's still me."

"Should I…" Blaise started. "Should I tie the other one first or just—"

Hydrus tried casting a cutting spell himself, but the magic was immediately drained away again. It was like he was spitting in the face of an entire tornado. He shook his head.

"Cut it," he said. "About another inch below where you tied."

He'd spent all that time learning a damned numbing spell only to not be able to cast now when he needed it most. At least he only let out a small yelp when he felt the limb detach itself from the rest of his body. He took a few deep breaths then nodded at Blaise to continue.

"Go on," he said. "Do the other now."

According to Albus, it had taken somewhere between three and five minutes for the transformation to fade after he'd lost the majority of his good arm. This time he was cutting off even more, but the runes were stronger now. He just had to hope that — he winced again as Blaise tightened the next knot — it would happen soon enough to finish before Arcturus found them. The old man was mad, not stupid, so he'd probably already clawed his own eyes out. Now it was just a matter of time before he managed to make his way over.

"Last chance to—"

"Cut the damn thing off."

Squelch.

Man, he loved this kid. Or he would, if he could. It was just so nice to have someone who questioned him, but didn't back down when he doubled down.

"You're a good kid, Blaise," he said. "If anything happens to me, don't let Draco's head get too big. Keep him in check. I think you're the only one of this bunch with the wit to knock him down a peg."

"What's that supposed to mean?" It was Daphne speaking up finally. "Why—"

"Don't get offended." He went to lift a placating hand up before realising that wouldn't be possible. "Draco's just spent too much of his life thinking of you as a potential bride to be thrust upon him by his parents. You're head and shoulders with Blaise otherwise."

"I meant why are you acting like you're going to die?" Daphne said. "What on earth is going on?"

Like that his mirth was gone. "I already told you it's none of your business."

He wasn't sure how much or how specifically he could speak without causing problems for Fate, so he was doing his damnedest to avoid going too far. It would be great if he could just proclaim to the whole world who and what he was, tell them everything about himself. It would cause too many headaches though, both for himself and the only god he had in the rolodex that didn't want him dead.

Draco gasped. "Shit, he's here!"

"Mrs. Herschel, take the kids and hide." Hydrus turned around to where he thought Draco had pulled him from to hopefully greet Arcturus properly. "I'm going to try and stall him long enough for my plan to work."

He should've grilled Dobby more harshly about how quick the transformation was, if it was an instant or gradual change. If it was gradual he'd probably be fucked. If it was instant, he could dodge the moment it began. If Arcturus still wasn't in the mood to talk, then he'd be dead either way.

"I said go!" Hydrus snapped, he hadn't heard anyone leaving. "None of you are strong enough to helpful!"

The door he was hopefully facing slammed open. A chill ran down Hydrus's spine and the madness practically tore him apart trying to escape. Arcturus's presence was like a stream of gasoline upon the fire of his insanity. Hydrus smiled, still hoping he was looking the right way.

"Lord Arcturus," Hydrus said. He gave a deep bow. "I'd say it's a pleasure to see you again, but I'm quite blind."

"Hmph. Pathetic wretch." There was a sound of growling, and he realised Arcturus still had the jornrirs with him. "I'm finally going to put an end to your charade."

"Come now, was it really such a bad thing?" Hydrus asked, finally losing himself to the madness. "I gave you everything you wanted, in exchange for everything I wanted. I made Sirius into an heir you could be proud of."

"You're a fake!"

It was more instinct than anything, but Hydrus managed to pull away the magic Arcturus used in his next working. It was something sloppy, probably just throwing his magic around the same way he himself did when he was annoyed, but managing that was probably all that had saved him.

"Have a little heart!" Hydrus sarcastically cried. "Was what I did really so bad?"

"You—!"

A door slammed open behind Hydrus, but he didn't want to look away from where Arcturus's voice was coming was from. For a moment nothing happened, but then a wave of absolute calm passed over him. Hydrus furrowed his brow but after he moment he realised what must have happened.

Arcturus Black had regained in his sanity.

"No…" The former patriarch muttered. "No it can't be."

"General Black." It was Lockhart. "I'd be lying if I said I'm happy to see you again."

'Damn,' Hydrus thought. 'Listen to him acting all tough.'

"This isn't possible!" Arcturus barked. "How the hell are you—"

"You are not the only one chosen by a god, General Black." There were footsteps approaching Hydrus and he nearly jumped when someone, presumably Lockhart, placed their hand on his shoulder. "And unlike you, I get along with my own quite well."

"No, no this can't be…" Arcturus sounded… Scared. "Y-, You can't—"

"I can, and I am." The hand squeezed tight on Hydrus's shoulder. "Now get the fuck out of my diner."

There was a massive crack and Hydrus could only assume the revived wizard had apparated away. He slumped down a bit in relief as Lockhart continued to squeeze his shoulder like a vice.

"Oh… Oh thank goodness," Lockhart said. The man must've dropped to the ground because he nearly drug Hydrus along with him. "I thought for sure he was going to kill us."

Hydrus shook his head. "I know you're back to being a young man, but could you at least pretend to be a carefree old man?"

"I'm too scared."

"Hydrus! Are you alright?" Draco called. "I… I thought something was supposed to happen since you cut of your arms?"

"Yeah, me too," Hydrus muttered, trying to stave off his own fear now that he didn't have the Black madness keeping it at bay. "Hopefully it still will, else we're in a lot of trouble."