27th of Sun's Dawn

I've picked up another stray today riding back from Whiterun. We came past the guard tower and they were being swarmed with bandits. I asked our newcomer to take the girls home while the rest of us waded into the fray. A wandering mercenary was there too and he reminds me a lot of Eric when I first met him. He's hiring out for 50 septims. Bah! I spend more than that on mead for Jorrvaskr. Ysgramor's beard! No wonder his kit's atrocious. That's barely enough get a room at a reputable inn and some dinner. His heart seems to be in a good place, though. I've hired him just so I can try to equip him well enough to keep himself alive. I had to remind Eric that it wasn't that long ago that he was the pup that I hired so I could upgrade his gear and try to keep him alive, too. That didn't seem to help matters any. I do believe that my husband is a bit jealous, now that there are couple of other men in the Merry Band. I'll have to figure out how to deal with that so it doesn't strain things between us. He's been the only man in my life, except for the twins, Ulfric and Balgruuf, for a while now. The twins don't often travel with us, since I don't like listening to their griping about the enchantments. Now that the war is over, I don't fight beside Ulfric anymore either. Balgruuf and I will probably always be friends. We were friends, almost as soon as we met, for reasons that neither of us can quite explain.

Not all men are content to follow a woman into battle. That's another point that I'll give Galmar. It took a while but he finally, by the end of the civil war, treated me like an equal. I still haven't forgiven him for the ice wraiths or that Unblooded business, though, and yes, that still irks me when I think about it. It was unnecessary.

28th of Sun's Dawn

I've gotten a request for help in Dawnstar from Skald. They're having problems with nightmares and the whole town is having them. Skald trusts me to deal with magic, at least, and he thinks this is a magical source. I've asked Eric if he can handle it because I'm taking Kaidan to meet with Esbern and then out to Sky Haven temple. I've asked Eric to go with Rayya and Jordis to see what can be done to solve things in Dawnstar while I go try not to grind my teeth when I take Kaidan to meet Delphine. Eric and Delphine don't get on well so I try to keep the two of them apart, when I can. I've told Eric that if it's more than they can handle alone to send a courier and we'll come straight away.

I admit that there are times when I really want to punch Delphine myself. Blades serve the Dragonborn, not the other way round. I wish she'd let the whole thing with Paarthurnax and Odahviing go already. I am not killing either of the dragons that helped me kill Alduin. That's a poor repayment for their help. I am not willing to budge on this and if she goes after them on her own, I might feel forced to put her down instead. I don't really want to do that either because she's one of the last of the Blades. There are so few of them left that I'm willing to tolerate her obstinacy to a degree but by Ysmir, she grates on me at times.

I haven't told Kaidan this yet, but his armor is really reminiscent of the Blades. That sword that he says belonged to his mother is very reminiscent of couple of things I have like Dragonbane and Bolar's Oath Blade. Maybe something there will jog his memory or maybe there some record of Brynjar or his mother. Delphine, if she's willing to talk to him, might know something too, even if Esbern doesn't. I might take him to see Paarthurnax, because the things that old dragon knows continues to surprise me.

I'm taking Jenassa and Lydia out to Sky Haven with me. I've left the new pup, Bjorn, at the house in Falkreath to keep an eye on whatever ancient curse seems to draw dangerous things up to mess with the livestock and trample the garden. Bjorn isn't happy about it but I promised next time I go Bruma, he can come with me and I'll take him to Cloud Ruler temple. I told him to keep his wits about himself any time he's outside because we've had all manner of wild life, giants, bandits, necromancers, you name it show up on the door step. Lydia and Rayya both warned him too, in case he thought I was exaggerating. We'll see if he can follow directions when I get back from Sky Haven Temple. I hope I don't have go find his corpse and try to find someone to resurrect him or bury him. There's a reason that I leave both Lydia and Rayya there to keep whatever that is in check. I don't trust him enough yet to take him out to Sky Haven. Apparently some of Delphine's paranoia is rubbing off on me.

30th of Sun's Dawn

Delphine was a joy and delight as always. Delphine was quite upset about me bringing someone who might be a Thalmor plant to Sky Haven. Yes, Thalmor plant... That's why I found him beaten half to death, starving to death and dying of thirst, trapped in a Thalmor cell. I showed her Kaidan's sword and she got quiet all of a sudden. She knows something but she's not telling me what it is. We gave up and left to go see Esbern. Esbern didn't have any records of anyone named Byrnjar but said that many of the Blades changed their names when all of them started running from the Thalmor. It's possible that we're chasing the wrong name. Kaidan's downcast but I told him not to be. It will just take longer to get to the bottom of it. We're going to swing by Throat of the World and chat with Paarthurnax.

31st of Sun's Dawn

Paarthurnax recognized the style of the sword and markings on it. He says its Akaviri but that's all he knows about it. Still, that's somewhere to start and it explains why the Thalmor are so interested in it. I haven't heard from Eric, Jorids, or Rayya yet or gotten word that they've come back home so we're off to Dawnstar. That place has always been plagued with daedra so now I'm a bit worried.

2nd of First Seed

I went by Lakeview and picked up the new pup. I trust him enough to join a search party. We got to Dawnstar and I went straight to Skald. Skald confirmed that Eric was there with Rayya and Jordis. Skald was able to tell me that they'd come to see him. The inn keeper overheard them talking and reported the conversation to Skald. Talos be praised, I have a clue. He, Rayya, and Jordis when off with some priest of Mara to Nightcaller Temple, an old Vaermina shrine. Damn it, man. Why didn't you send a courier? You know that these daedra are dangerous. I tried the locator spells that we bought when we got married and there's nothing. My heart is breaking and I just don't have words.

I found the temple and started searching around the outside for life. I've found Rayya buried in a snowbank, unconscious and half frozen to death. Rayya doesn't know how she ended up in a snowbank. The last thing she remembers is talking with the priest of Mara at the inn and Eric agreeing to come here with him. There's no sign of Eric or Jordis or this priest anywhere. So much snow has fallen that there are no footprints or any sign either I or Jenassa can track. There's no other signs of life even when I try to detect it. I'm also not able to raise any thing with the scrolls I brought so it's not that they're dead, they're just not here.

Ysgramor's beard, we decided to go into the temple to see if we could find them. I managed to get into the temple but the door sealed behind me. I could hear Lydia pounding on the door so I told her to wait there. Whatever was done to these priests and orcs, they're waking up now and they're all aggressive. It's been a hard fight through these sleepers but after some searching I found the priest. He'd been knocked over the head and said a couple of orcs took Eric and Jordis. I can't see Jordis or Eric being captured by less than a dozen orcs at least. I've leapt into whole knot of enemies with Eric at my back on more than on occasion. A couple of orcs? I refuse to believe it.

None of this is making any sense at all. I was able to help the priest cleanse the temple so the nightmares should stop. I still can't find Jordis or Eric. I've tried to use the locator spells again and I still get nothing, even from inside this foul temple so it's not that there's some lingering interference, they're just not here. There's at least a little hope in that. I've sent couriers to Eric's family, the Companions, and many people I've met in nearly every city and hold in Skyrim. Everyone's looking for him but no one's seen him.

3rd of First Seed

The only thing I can think to do is go talk to Ulfric. If the Thalmor have taken my husband, as I suspect, I'll be wanting him back sooner rather than later. Preferably while he's still mostly in one piece. Ulfric was... understanding. We talked for a while and he said that he'd have Galmar see what he can uncover. I knew that something like this was possible but I thought... I thought we could handle it. I can't face the girls in this state and tell them that I've lost their Da. I'm going to Jorrvaskr to sit in Kodlak's old chair and hope that something occurs to me.

4th of First Seed

The twins met me at the door to Jorrvaskr and said they'd been waiting for me. I think I left quite a puddle on Farkas' chest. Everyone thinks Farkas isn't smart but they're wrong. That man sees everything, its just that he says almost nothing but when he does, it's generally quite profound. He's a big stoic rock and when your entire life has just turned into a shit storm, it's good to have a big stoic rock to lean on. Once I was breathing again, Farkas said to be calm and steady because fear and panic are the real enemy. They've put out a bounty on Eric for fifty thousand septims for a live and safe delivery of Eric to Jorrvaskr. Even the thieves and bandits are looking for him. Aela offered to go to this temple and see what she can sniff out. Spells can fool eyes, but fooling Aela's nose in her wolf form, not likely. It's worth a try. Someone must have told Balgruuf I was here at Jorrvaskr because one of the guards came and asked me to stop by Dragons Reach before I leave Whiterun.

Kodlak's chair didn't give me any ideas. I can't think what the old man would do in this situation so I decided to go see Balgruuf. I was barely stuck together enough to get up the steps but somehow I managed it. Balgruuf waves me over to Farengar and says, "He's got an idea if you have anything of Eric's on you." I pulled out the wedding ring Eric gave me. He'd had the pair of them made and wore them for weeks hoping I'd agree. We were already married when he admitted that he'd had them made about week after I first hired him. Presumptuous pup! I handed the ring to Farengar who tried his spell on it which, according to Farengar should tug me in what ever direction Eric is in. The ring... broke. It cracked into two pieces. My heart did too.

I don't even know if I took my leave of Balgruuf but I grabbed those pieces and left, before I came apart in middle of his great hall. I don't even know how I got back to Frostfall or what time it is. I returned to reality lying on the bed with everyone clustered around me. The girls are here and I have to be strong for them. Eric's been their Da for months now and they've already lost one set of parents. I tell them that no matter what, everything is going to be okay because we'll make it be okay. It's clear that the girls have been crying but they're listening. Now to make myself believe that. All that remains now is the waiting to see if someone hears something, someone knows something, someone finds him. Lydia told me not to worry about Lakeview that she'd go back there alone. Rayya is staying here for now in case we get word and have to move quickly.