13th of First Seed

We caught a ride with a trader heading into Windhelm. It turned out that where I finally ran myself to exhaustion wasn't that far from there. Kaidan's still somewhat done in but he's not been through the Vilkas and Farkas conditioning program. He's terribly impressed that I ran that far in my armor. I haven't told him yet that I've run farther. The night we ran to Ysgramor's tomb, we ran from Jorrvaskr to Windhelm and then past it to get there. We got into the city and one of the guards flagged me down. "Jarl Ulfric wants to see you." I want some warmer socks and maybe some gloves or mittens so I'm practically growling with frustration. If we don't get to the market stalls soon, I won't be able to get anything until tomorrow. Biting back my impatience, I think for a moment before I reply in way that I know Ulfric will understand that I'm not slighting him. "Tell Ulfric that I need to get some shopping done before the merchants all close and I'll be along shortly. And you can tell him I said if I don't get some warmer socks before I get frostbitten toes, I'm going to be as grumpy as Galmar when he's missed his dinner." The guard stifles a snort of laughter and wanders off to convey the message.

Kaidan raised a brow, but I hauled him into the merchant quarter and tell him to buy what we need quickly. We don't have long before Ulfric will start to get grumpy and the merchants all close up since their stalls are all outdoors. I tell him not to worry about carrying it, that we'll just get a packhorse. When he's done, we head into the palace. Ulfric was lounging on his throne smirking and ready to bust my chops. "When I don't call you, you come here. Then when I do call you, you tell my guards that you need socks and you'll be along once you have some." Sighing heavily, I look at Ufric and shrug, "None of this was planned, so I'm not dressed for any of it. My feet are freezing. I'll be surprised if my toes aren't blue. I'm just too polite to put my new socks on in the middle of an audience, no matter how badly I might need them."

I could tell Ulfric was trying not to laugh before he started lecturing me again. You'd have to know him well to tell but I know him well enough. "You've given everyone quite a scare, you know." "I suppose I have but I didn't mean to frighten anyone. I've needed some time to sort myself out. I'm still not completely sorted out. I'm going into the mountains, looking for dragon inscriptions. I was planning to stop at the courier station to send off some messages." "Don't bother," Ulfric laughs, "I've already sent word to everyone you're here and in one piece. Even Balgruuf wanted to know if showed up here." Ulfric launched himself off his throne and waved at us, "Come." Without waiting to see if we were following him, he led us into the private part of the castle to his personal office.

We get to his office and he points to a chair and tells me to sit down and put my damn socks on so he can be sure I don't have frost bite. While I stripped off my boots, Ulfric looked to Kaidan, "Bad?" Kaidan nods hesitantly so I tell Kaidan "You can tell him." "She had that look to her, so yesterday I hauled her out on the tundra outside the city walls of Windhelm, away from all the gossips. When the dam finally broke, I had to chase after her for miles. Most things weren't a problem. I had my bow so I kept the wolves and saber cats off her but that damn spriggan gave me a bad turn."

Ulfric gets this look of alarm and starts asking if I'm hurt or if I need a healer. This time I get to hear about what I dimly remember from someone else. "She's fine. I felt a bit bad for the spriggan. You should have seen her," Kaidan says with awe tinging his voice, "She tore it apart and ripped out its taproot with her hands. That was when she finally started slowing down." "How long has she been out in the weather?" "Since yesterday. She ran most of the way here." "In her armor?" Kaidan nodded. "If you didn't know what it was, you'd think it was nothing, the way she moves."

Ulfric gave me his best stern Jarl stare."You know you have to be here so I can hold up my end of the bargain. By the Nine! Your toes are blue. It's not frost bite yet, but you need to stay at the inn tonight. If they don't have a room for you, you can stay here. You need to be indoors and get warm. Don't make me start giving you orders, Stormblade." He reached into his desk and pulled out a flask of brandy and poured a rather generous amount and handed me the glass. "Drink." I took a sip and Ulfric shook his head, "All of it. It will help get the blood flowing." I tossed the brandy back and handed Ulfric his glass. Ulfric turned to Kaidan and gave him a hard appraising stare. After a few beats, Ulfric sighed heavily, "Keep an eye on her. You're not a Nord so I will tell you what to do for her. Half a bottle of mead every hour for the next five or six hours. No more and no less. Too much and it makes the blood flow worse. Too little and it won't be much help. Got it?" Kaidan nodded.

I'd gotten my boots back on and went to stand up only to find that I'm now a bit tipsy from the brandy. "Oh for the love of Talos!" Ulfric exploded, "You haven't eaten today either have you?" When I shook my head, Ulfric waved a hand Kaidan, "Get her to the inn and get some food in her too. Take better care of her. She is important to many of us." I'm tipsy and those old stones aren't exactly even, and my feet are so cold that they're a bit numb so I'm stumbling a lot. Kaidan put a hand on my shoulder and steered me back out of the palace. The cold air did a bit to dispell some of the brandy and we headed for Candlehearth Hall. I got a room at the inn but there was only one available, so I'm still sharing sleeping arrangements with Kaidan. As we're headed to the room, I'm still stumbling, so Kaidan throws an arm around my shoulders and tells me to put my head on his shoulder so we can walk, without me looking like a drunk. I told him I'm sorry I'm such a mess and he chuckled.

Once the inn keep is gone, he sits down in the chair and looks at me, smirking a bit. Then he tells me its the same rules as last night. A bit of a snuggle for warmth, but no hanky panky, as he put it. He's got to be here for a while since he's supposed to be making sure I drink enough mead to get the blood flowing in my toes again. I suggested that he be as precise as possible about following Ulfric's orders. Ulfric is the kind of Jarl who will check to make sure what he's ordered got done. I think I mentioned that he's my second favorie Jarl which made Kaidan ask who my favorite Jarl is. That's should be obvious. That's Balgruuf. That man let me trap a dragon in his palace. Kaidan mentioned that everyone thinks I'm insane for releasing it. No crazy would have been skipping the opportunity to get a ride to Skuldafn and letting Alduin end the world. "Hmm, when you put it that way, it does make lot more sense."

Then I get a speech from Kaidan, "I'm going to say this, and I want you to hear me. I'm in awe of you. I'm amazed you survived. You might be a mess right now but you're an alive mess. Messes can be sorted. Now, off with that armor and into that bed. You're half frozen and need to thaw out. I'm going to get some food and some mead." When I mentioned that I didn't really have anything else to wear, he gave me an old shirt. It smelled clean enough, so I stripped down and put it on before crawling under the furs that pass for bed covers this far north. I was just starting to get comfortable when Kaidan comes back juggling plates of food and bottles of mead. The smell was heavenly and my stomach started to rumble. Kaidan thought that was funny. "I've never had to feed a dragon before." We ate and talked some more. "Ulfric seems to like you." "Ulfric should bloodly love me to the moons and back. He'll be High King because of me. I'm not just a Storm Cloak. I'm the Storm Cloak. I promised him that I'd break the stalemate in exchange for taking this war to Empire and the Thalmor. Now it's his turn to deliver." "Why did you drive yourself so hard to do it so quickly?" "Because the quicker it ends, the fewer troops we lose. We'll need them later. It also gives us more time to recover and rebuild."

"You've been quite busy," Kaidan shrugs, "It seems like you've earned a bit of rest. I think it's going to be my job to see that you get it." "That's one thing that Eric wasn't good at." "What's that?" "Telling me no or even telling me to wait." "I think I can handle that. If you start pushing yourself like that again, I'll just haul you off to a tavern and get you roaring drunk." "Sort of like this?" "Yes, but with a lot more mead. Half a bottle every hour isn't going to be nearly enough to get you in your cups. I've gotten stinking drunk with you once before, so I've seen what it takes." "One night of drinking isn't going to slow me down much. I'm the Harbinger of the Companions. When we celebrate, our parties are legendary. Those haven't slowed me down. I think you'll need a better plan than that."

"Hmmm, I can think of other ways to distract you, but I don't think you're ready for any of that yet." "Like what?" "Never you mind about that, lass. Just drink your mead and go to sleep. I'll wake you in an hour."

14th of First Seed

I slept but not well and it was a bit of a relief when Kaidan woke me up to drink the next dose of mead. I was still half asleep when he asked me what "Dov Vahloki" meant. "It means literally Dragon Guardian." I dozed back off but I remember him waking me a few times to drink again. Finally, something big and comforting settled over me like warm blanket and drove away all things I'd been fighting with in my sleep. I woke up to find Kaidan alseep on top of the blankets but with an arm thrown over me. I tried to move a bit but he was awake in an instant. "You were running a fever last night. I dumped some of your potions into you and that seemed to help. You were mumbling in your sleep too. We'll stay here another day and you can go shopping for all the things women seem to need." "If we're going to be in this cold, some thicker underpadding for my armor is probably in order. That usually takes them a few days to make up. Maybe ask the inn keep if we can keep the room for a few days if we pay in advance?"

"Can I tell you something?" He nods. "It's been a relief to be away from everyone else's needs and expectations. Thank you for the breathing room." "How are you doing now?" he asked, eyeing me critically. "Less empty, less fragile, and no longer like I'm going to crumble in a strong wind," I replied. "Hmmm," he shrugged, "Still not great, but that's a lot better than yesterday. I'll take it." "Do you think we could train today?," I asked cautiously. "Why? Do you train every day?" he asked. "I'm a Companion," I explained, "If we're not out fighting, we're training. There's no slacking and especially no slacking for the Harbinger." "No wonder all of you are so damn skilled, you lot have been training every day." "And being trained by some of the best anywhere. It took months before Farkas, Athis, and Njada were ready to call me passable with my armor, sword and shield. The Jomsbrodirs might be famous, but the training I've gotten from the Companions makes the difference in skill incredibly apparent. You want to know why I can move so well in my armor. Part of my training was chasing Vilkas and Farkas around until I could catch them. To quote my shield-brothers, 'Run fast enough, long enough and you stop noticing the armor.'" I watched him thinking this over for a while.

"Can I ask you something that might be a bit personal?" "May as well since you've read my journal. Short of asking to wear my underclothes, that's about as personal as things get." He stifled a snort of laughter. "No... nothing like that at all. Can I... can I test out Wuuthrad? Just a few swings. I've heard so much about it. I can't believe that you just roam around with it. I know that not everyone will allow someone else to handle their weapons." "Wuuthrad isn't some lordings wall ornament," I explained, "or some ancient ceremonial relic. It's very much a weapon and I use it as a weapon. I'll see if one of the guards will referee for us and we'll go outside the city. I need to work on my ability to parry with Wuuthrad. You might be skilled enough to help me with that." "I never favored axes," Kaidan replied, "What do you normally do with it?" "Cleave through whatever's in my path," I grinned back, "There's not much Wuuthrad won't slice through if I can get a decent swing. I'm getting better with it but it's still heavy and easy for me to get over extended. It's one of the few weapons I've used that made me wish I was built a bit more like Farkas and a bit less like myself." "Hrmp, I'm glad you're not. I think you're lovely just like you are. Now, lovely dragon, shall we have some breakfast and go shopping?"