Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to Janet Evanovich. I am not making any money from this. Mistakes are mine.
A/N I'm on a meme theme - my previous meme-based stories are listed below. The meme for this story is a display of several books on a bookstore shelf where all the men on the book covers are bare-chested. There is a sign above the display which reads "Guys Who Have Lost Their Shirts."
Shirtless in Trenton by Debra8652
Stephanie's POV
How is this my fault? The fault clearly lies with my current patrol partner, Raphael. Raphael is third generation Italian-American, 6' tall, 185 lbs., has a gorgeous complexion with olive undertones, long eyelashes framing dark brown eyes, a sensual mouth that smiles often, and straight brown hair worn in a ponytail that hangs halfway down his back. If he wasn't such a sweetie, I'd maim him just for having straight hair - imagine having hair you didn't have to wrestle into submission on a daily basis.
So, why is he with Bobby right now - I'm Bobby's most frequent patient, not Raphael! Let's back up a bit. This has been a beastly hot summer in Trenton and I convinced Ranger to order short-sleeved vented cotton shirts for the guys - just a little relief from the heat - still black, of course, but the guys seem to appreciate the cooler cotton material and side vents. It's already hotter than you-know-where at 1:30pm and Raphael and I have just exited the patrol SUV and gone into a convenience store for a cold drink. The young girl behind the counter started drooling at the site of him. He'd pushed his sunglasses on top of his head - I'm sure the girl didn't notice that with his top two (or three, not that I'm counting) shirt buttons undone. After sitting for a few minutes, we disposed of our trash, used the restrooms, and exited the store. We passed by a bookstore and I saw one of my female skips looking at their magazines that are displayed on the wall. I ducked out of her line of sight, grabbed Raphael's arm and told him that she skipped bond on a disturbing the peace charge. That's when things went south.
I knew there was a back entrance to the bookstore so I dragged Raphael down the alley and into the store behind me rather than spooking her by going in the front door. That was mistake number one. If we'd gone in the front door we'd have seen the poster that there was a 2:00pm-4:00pm book signing of a hot new romance novel by Daphne somebody or other. I saw that the author was just steps away from entering the store via the front door. I'd seen the book cover and, for the love of all that's holy, the cover guy looked like Raphael. A lot. The store owner, Marguerite Hepplewhite, exclaimed to everyone present, "Look who just surprised us by coming in the back door?" Young, not so young, and not even remotely young women rushed to surround Raphael. The author looked totally perplexed as her book is a work of fiction and Raphael existed only in her imagination, but has probably moved up to dream status by now.
The women grabbed pens and scraps of paper from their purses to get his autograph. Poor Raphael - the book has just been released and he has no idea of the character's name, not that he'd read it anyway. Now the women are jostling to take selfies with him. I'm going to be in Hector's debt forever if he has to scrub these photos from the Internet. My skip has joined in the melee and I'm trying to figure out how to apprehend her on her disturbing the peace charge when there are probably 50 other women in here also disturbing the peace.
Well, Ranger always said that I was good at thinking on my feet so I grabbed Raphael by the arm and loudly claimed to be his manager, publicist, and girlfriend (hey, we're even dressed alike!) and dragged him off in the direction of my skip by saying that he will take a selfie with her. As she is grabbing her phone, I sneak behind her, clamp on the handcuffs and press the speed dial button on my cell phone for the control room. God, please don't let Lester answer. Luckily, Junior answered and held it together long enough to say that Vince and Woody were two minutes away but I heard him laughing as he disconnected.
Exactly two minutes later, Vince and Woody drove up and saw me, my handcuffed skip who still wanted a selfie with "Dirk" or "Stone" or whatever the character's name is, and Raphael with his shirt torn to shreds and his hair flying every which way - eat your heart out, Fabio. Vince couldn't resist asking, "Dude, what happened to your shirt?" We handed her off to Vince and Woody to take her to the PD after I retrieved the paperwork from my messenger bag. Mistake number two - Raphael discovered he didn't have a spare shirt in the back of the SUV, said some choice Italian words, and we resumed patrolling until our shift ended an hour later.
So here I am, sitting in front of Ranger in his office. He's giving me a smug look like he's got all day to hear how my partner and I captured a skip when we were supposed to be on patrol, why I dropped said partner off with Bobby just now, and why said partner is wearing a Rangeman shirt that's been ripped to shreds and his hair looks as if it's been styled by an eggbeater. Thankfully, Raphael joins us after being checked over by Bobby and assures both of us that he's ok although Bobby asked him if he wanted Hal to bring his crime scene kit and fingerprint his torso. Of course, my "I know everything, Babe" spouse already knows exactly what happened today. He knows what a disaster magnet I am and that Raphael just had the misfortune of being my assigned partner. At least Ranger let Raphael out of Grandma Mazur duty for the next six months based on today's groping. That should appease Raphael. Or not. Maybe hazardous duty pay is also in order.
A/N My previous stories based on memes are: "Weirdos Need Not Apply," "Chances Are," and "HR Rules." Your reviews are appreciated!