chapter 38:
Kara stayed in the alley until she no longer felt like heaving the content of her stomach to the pavement. She had dragged herself to her room and locked the door. Yurii, having returned from his classes for the day, was worried. He had never seen her face so haunted. Kara tried to reassure him and asked what he had learned that day. As he chatted happily about his lessons, Kara took the time to focus and ground herself. How could she explain to this young boy that she felt weak and shaken? He did not have to bear the weight of her own issues. The encounter with Baghra had rattled something left inert in her mind and she feared what sleep would bring. The echo of a memory tapped gently from her suppressed consciousness and called out to be freed.
Kara read the princess' medical history as late as she could. It was the only way she had found to fight off sleep. Yurii snored softly from the makeshift bed on the floor. From what she had understood from the reports, the princess had always been of weak constitution and was prone to dizziness and headaches. Any form of intense physical activities triggered fainting. Other notes had Kara snorting with frustration. Some comments such as the princess " reading too much" or her "witty tongue" were marked as symptoms. The healer was still baffled at the offensive behavior of certain male doctors. The princess was plagued by intelligence, so be it. It did not explain her weak body. One of the earlier reports seemed to indicate an irregular heartbeat which had Kara highly interested. She was quite sure the origin of her miserable condition was linked to that small scribble at the bottom of a page. Her eyes were heavy and she closed the thick book with a sigh. What ever was haunting her would have to appear now. She was too tired to fight it off any longer.
The next morning, Kara was in terrible shape when she went to visit Timofei in his cell. The redhead, on the other hand, was looking better every day. He was starting to grow restless. " When will I be let out? What is expected of me?", the Tailor asked. Kara did not know what to say on such visits. She could only answer " soon". This time when Kara dragged her exhausted body through the metal gate, he stood quickly to catch her arm. He chuckled, " I do not think I am the one that needs healing today. When do you sleep woman?". Kara did not want to relive the night and explain it to her ward. The nightmares had been shapeless but had left her wet with perspiration. She had woken with the desire to scream but with no sound escaping her lips. She had rushed Yurii to school and come to see the Tailor. She decided to go for easy banter, " I bet I sleep better than you". Timofei cackled, " Ha! I sleep like a baby on this cot of stone. Who doesn't like a cold hard surface?". He looked at her quizzically, " You look as if you've met a ghost". Kara shook her head and began to unwrap his hand, " I might have. I only felt its presence though. I did not understand its form". The Tailor nodded, " Those are the worst kinds of specters".
As she cleaned the wound, she hesitated on the long and thin gash. It was healing nicely. Timofei looked intently at her, " Go on. Ask me". The healer was puzzled, " ask what?". The man smiled and pushed back a few red locks. He leaned forward, " Do you know what a blood oath is, healer?". Kara had intended to ask Igor about it but had not found the time. Her blue stormy eyes settled again on his fresh scar, " Tell me". He seemed darkly pleased. He traced his wound with a finger, " A blood oath between two Grisha is binding. Small Science makes the bond unbreakable. If the promise made is broken, the bearer of the oath dies". The healer's eyes grew wide, " And what has general Kirigan made you swear?". The Tailor looked sad for the first time. He had always welcomed Kara with feigned boredom and cold sarcasm. Now, he truly looked like an imprisoned man. He closed his eyes, " It was threefold. He made me swear not to betray my own kind ever again. He made me swear never to take his shape. Finally, He also made me swear that I would not leave Os Alta without his consent". A tear appeared under his closed lids, "I had no choice in the part I played in luring Grisha soldiers out of their camp. They would have hurt her if I did not do as instructed".
Kara was distraught at seeing him without his armored smile. She bound his hand with fresh bandages. " Who is she?", she murmured. The Tailor looked concerned at the presence of the guard outside his cell. Kara leaned forward, as if to inspect the healing bruises to his ribs, " He will not hear. You can trust me". The Tailor snorted, " Why would I trust you? Are you not with the general? In that case, I will never trust you". The healer looked coldly in response, " I am on no one's side. I heal those wounded and I do what I can to help people." The tailor chuckled, " So you have no personal motives? No core desires or longings? I don't buy it". Kara pulled back slightly as if slapped. She hissed, " Then, I guess I am like everyone. I want what I cannot have". The Tailor raised a mocking eyebrow, his eyes still red-rimmed. He cocked his head to the side, " Let me guess, an orphan child from the north. You want to belong. You'll stop at nothing to be recognized and seen. That's why you chose the mission of watching over me when no one else cares. You want to become indispensable". The healer's cheeks flushed with anger, " I guess in a world of politics and war, everyone has to have an ulterior motive". She rose quickly and turned to leave. She stopped. She did not need for him to understand her but the night had been terrifying. She choked on a withheld sob, " The truth is, most of the time, I feel terribly alone. And if the saints would allow it, I would have a family of my own". She turned to him and he was quiet. He looked guilty. She answered with a watery smile, " My motives are THAT simple Timofei. Most Grisha despise you. Most Grisha despise me too. You're alone and so am I. Like it or not, we are kindred spirits".
The healer had left in haste. She kept her afternoon full by preparing two horses for the late night ride. She had filled a satchel with warm clothes and the other with bread, cheese, ham and cold tea. Yurii had found a friend at school who was willing to have him over until the next day. The general arrive by the stables as she had instructed, right after diner. She almost jumped as his figure detached from the shadows. Her hand had instinctively rested over her heart. " Saints Alexhander! I did not know when I met you that this was a habit of yours!". He smiled, " Apologies. I did not mean to frighten you." There was something different about his demeanor. Kara noticed that his eyes were soft and his smile warm. He looked happy. It suited him well. Kara's mouth twitched into a smile as well. " Apology accepted", she answered. Her gaze came to rest on his black kefta. Her fingers still remembered the sensation of the material as she pried it open and slipped it off his back. She shook the memory away, " Come general, we have a long ride ahead of us".
They rode for 2 hours in direction of the mountains to the east of Os Alta. The path became treacherous quickly so that they had to leave the horses and walk on foot. As the general dismounted, Kara was waiting with a blindfold. Alexhander was hesitant. His instincts growling not to submit and become vulnerable. He took a look a the healer and found he could not...resist. Her eyes were sparkling like a young child about to share a wonderful surprise. His heart beat fast as he let her tie the fabric over his eyes. He hoped she would kiss him when he felt her breath by his ear. She did not. They walked slowly. As much as he tried to sharpen his hearing and smell to guess the direction they were taking, he lost track of where they were. After a time, the air became more humid and cold. He stumbled against a stone surface and realized they were in a cave. Kara's hand in his squeeze reassuringly and tugged him onward. At last, the air became breathable again and his blindfold was removed. Alexhander found himself in what seemed to be a closed-off clearing. The mountain peaks were present all around them, a natural embankment of rock and trees. As he turned, he saw a small cave opening leaning to the clearing. There was nothing but the stars above them and the swish of high grass. The healer seemed to be searching for something on the ground. At last, she cried out in excitement, " Over here! I found one!". She tugged on the general's sleeve so that he kneeled by what looked like a wild flower. Kara explained excitedly, " Have you ever seen a Ravkan Mirabilis bloom Alexhander?". The general seemed amused, " No, I have not". The healer tucked a strand of blond hair behind her ear, her eyes fixed on the the closed petals. " That's because it is exceptionally rare and blooms in the middle of the night. This one might just open up for us." She looked at a small pocket watch with the help of a lit torch. Her eyes twinkled, " Yes, it should happen soon."
As they waited for the flower to open, they sat on a blanket in the clearing and ate what Kara had brought. Alexhander noticed Kara avoided his touch as if afraid. He frowned in thought. At last, he decided to address the uncomfortable silence. He cleared his throat, " Is something on your mind? You are not yourself". The healer was startled. She had felt skittish all day. Trying to put words on the feeling was difficult. She whispered, " I met your mother yesterday". Alexhander stiffened instantly. His jaw clenched, " What did she want?". The healer shrugged, " To frighten me off I suppose. She knows about us. How, I do not know". His eyes twinkled darkly, " I might be able to take a guess". He looked at the stars before adding, " What has she told you?". Kara was playing with a blade of grass. For whatever reason, she did not feel like sharing every details of what had transpired. A small voice whispered to hide Baghra's strange reaction after touching her skin. She turned her blue eyes to his face. She murmured, " She said you would hurt me and that you are not who you appear to be". The shadow summoner looked stricken, " I would never hurt you". Kara nodded, " I know". She then sighed and ran a hand through her hair, " I know so very little about you". The general rose an eyebrow, " and I know little about you. Yet, I hope that we are honest in our intentions towards one another." Alexhander was barely distinguishable from the darkness surrounding them. He pleaded, " As a general of an army I sometimes must be violent and without mercy. I do what must be done to ensure the security of this country. Yet, You have nothing to fear from me. I swear it". Kara believed him. She was relieved, " Thank you". As she looked at the flower, her eyes grew wide, " It's happening!".
Indeed when the flower opened, the shadow summoner could only stare in awe. The Mirabilis seemed of another world. The bright yellow flower extended timidly outwards, revealing flecks of gold and cream. The fragrance was sweet and addictive. The air seemed to glow so slightly around it. Alexhander looked over at the healer in extatic surprise. Again, she had provided a long awaited moment of newness. She blushed at his intense look and whispered, " It's also called the Two O'clock Flower". Alexhander paused and asked, " Why would you keep this such a secret?". The healer became very serious, " It's a very fragile flower. It needs very particular insects to produce seeds. Insects that can only be found here". The shadow summoner reached out to caress a petal. As his finger brushed with the Mirabilis, the colors began to fade and the petals closed. The shadow summoner looked at the healer with alarm. She chuckled, " Alas, such beauty is very short-lived. A flower stays open only a few minutes before it withers and dies". The general mourned the loss of the flower. He looked at the dying plant and murmured, " So indeed it is the most precious of things. I understand your profound desire to protect it".
They rode back in relative silence. The shadow summoner had been blindfolded again and led to his horse. He had accepted without complaint. No ill had befallen him. He looked at the stars over him with a new feeling of lightness. He had trusted her and she had honored that trust. He could be vulnerable with her as she had been with him. She had shared a most fragile and beautiful secret with him. Had she been able to do a blood oath, she would have certainty asked him to make one. With no Small Science to call upon, she could only take a chance on him. He breathed the crisp autumn air as if breathing for the first time. How wonderful the air felt within his lungs. They arrived by his door in the early morning. The shadow summoner wanted the moment to linger. Let this night not be over yet. He pulled her close and kissed her tenderly. " Let me be yours this time", he whispered and the healer smiled.