Chapter LXX – Friends and Family

That morning made the day feel ridiculously long.

Bishop and Aeyrin didn't wait much longer. They went back to the inn for their stuff, ignoring any curious or disdainful stares from the patrons. Aeyrin quickly healed Bishop's face and then they headed out of the city without any more delays or goodbyes.

It was not a good idea to provoke Ulfric more.

Though Bishop was still maliciously happy that he prodded him about Markarth. That asshole was so clearly upset about the rumors of an automaton army. And why wouldn't he be? His strategic position at Fort Sungard was useless. Markarth was indomitable and Falkreath was still probably on the offensive with their 'special military operations', trying to take the fort back.

At least that was what Bishop was thinking. He didn't understand all these strategies and politics much and he didn't really care that much, but the idea of Ulfric being the one in charge everywhere was not pleasant. Not with how dismally Windhelm was run.

But they left that all behind. There were some feelings of guilt regarding that – it didn't seem like the right time to leave with everything so unstable and with all that uncertainty about what the elves were planning on doing to win their freedom. But then again, their presence always seemed to make Ulfric more on edge and maybe it would be better if they were gone. It would certainly be better for them – Ulfric would not let things slide the second time.

So, they were left with only the option – to write to the elves and try to make sure things wouldn't deteriorate. And with only speculations regarding the fate of a certain idiot. What did happen to him? Why wasn't he taken in front of Ulfric too?

Then again, Ulfric probably didn't deal with everyone being arrested in his city himself. That would surely be exhausting. Windhelm was not exactly small and peaceful.

It was questionable whether his special attention to the two of them was a good thing or a bad one.

At least they got out of this one unscathed though.

"You think he got arrested? It might solve everything," Aeyrin sighed as she nestled herself into Bishop's embrace more.

They stopped in the tundra to make camp for the night. They could have continued on the road for a bit longer, but neither of them were eager to. Instead, they decided to stay in the wilderness, near a hot spring, and spend the evening taking care of some important correspondence.

The first letters would go to Windhelm and the rest… all over. They could head to Darkwater Crossing the next day and send everything from there. Besides, it was a good opportunity to earn some coin by supplying the miners with some meat. And they were always good company. Spending one night at the Crossing was never a bad idea.

Their plans were set.

"You really think he's the only one?" Bishop sighed. It was very likely that there were many more Nords like that idiot in Windhelm. Right now he was the loudest, but if he got arrested, it was possible it would kind of make him a martyr and there would be other fanatics eager to take his place. That was always a risk. Sure, they could hope that the others would get scared off. After all, what did it say about a man who pulled out a knife while he wasn't even technically losing the fight? Maybe all their bigoted kind were just a bunch of cowards. But still, Bishop was doubtful.

With the Stormcloaks of the same opinions, nobody would be scared to make the elves their easy target.

"I… I know… it's just… I still feel so guilty about it all. And then again… I don't," Aeyrin grumbled. The constant conflicting feeling was exhausting. She still couldn't settle on how she felt about this.

"It's their choice. Right now, you basically told them both sides of it and they chose one. Maybe they changed their minds now. I fucking hope. But it's up to them. Nothing for you to feel guilty about," Bishop shrugged while he pulled her closer onto his chest. He was leaning on a nearby tree with Aeyrin comfortably in his arms. They were already done with their meal, with washing up, and with some proper distractions. It was a good time to deal with what they had to do and then return to more pleasant endeavors again.

"Yeah… you're right," she nodded, but she still couldn't help those feelings. Maybe it would make her better to finally get on with the letter though. She'd been holding a sharpened piece of charcoal in her hand for a while now, with a parchment being propped on an upturned pot next to her. "I'll just… write the letter and hope for the best."

She shifted a little in Bishop's arms and finally got to work.

.

Dear Idesa,

we hope that the guards didn't think it would be a good idea to involve you too in the end. That would be the last thing you'd need to deal with.

It could have gone worse for us. Fortunately, Ulfric just asked us to leave the city and we didn't think it would be a good idea to disobey him in this. He was pretty on edge. Poking that bear could have proved more trouble than it's worth.

We're sorry we had to leave, but it was for the best. Please, be careful though. You saw how quickly we got arrested and it would be even quicker for you. The guards were just waiting for you to make a move. Don't risk your lives, please. Things have to get better, but it's too easy to lose much more than you stand to gain.

We'll be thinking of you and you all better show up for the wedding. Free-Winter will give you the details.

Your hla aka and f'lah

.

She placed the charcoal down at last while Bishop continued to read her words over her shoulder. He was done shortly after her though and nestled back against the tree more comfortably.

"Good?" She asked uncertainly. She didn't know what else to say. She didn't exactly want to send Idesa five pages of her ranting about her own conflict regarding this issue. She knew that the elves were just as conflicted. There was no point in reminding them.

"Yeah. Good. There's not much more we can do here," Bishop nodded. "Come on, let's be done with this shit. Let's get to the better parts."

He was eager to leave the bullshit in Windhelm behind. He was still worried about the elves, but what would incessant worrying achieve? They just needed to concentrate on something else again.

"Right. The invitations," Aeyrin's eyes lit up a little. The wedding was less than a month away. It was approaching very steadily. And they'd done nothing but talk to a few people.

Well, that wasn't true. They were almost done with those Four Edges of Skyrim and they invited almost everyone they wanted to in person. What more was there to do but to send out invitations to make sure nobody was confused about the day or the location, and then get some help for the ships and decorations. The elves would surely remember to bring some drinks, but just in case, they should remind Brunwulf about it. And Lydia did volunteer to make some food. There was not much else they needed to do.

It was not as if it was some huge wedding for the public. It would be private. If they wanted music, there was always Lynly. Aeyrin thought of Azshan too, but then she guiltily remembered that he couldn't exactly play any instruments anymore. But maybe he could sing. He had a lovely voice.

It was time to take care of the last details so that everyone could make it in time. Last Seed was almost upon them already.

"Brunwulf first?" Aeyrin placed another parchment on the rock and readied the charcoal. They bought enough parchment in anticipation of this, although they were planning on doing this at Candlehearth.

Oh well, as pleasant as it would have been to be doing this by the fireplace, this was nice too. The tepid summer breeze was so pleasant and the proximity of the hot spring didn't let it get too unbearably cold.

"Yeah, why not?" Bishop smirked. "Doing this by Holds would be better anyway. I feel like we'd forget half of them otherwise."

He had a point. It was a good idea to have a system. Aeyrin began to write promptly.

.

Dear Lord Free-Winter,

we're just writing to reiterate the details of the wedding. We'll be expecting you and the elves by the eighteenth of Last Seed by the southern shore of Lake Ilinalta, though we should already be there a few days prior. Please, make sure the elves bring something to drink for everyone like we asked them to.

Thank you again for offering to take them and Master Therien. We're looking forward to having all of you there.

Aeyrin and Bishop

.

It was a short letter. They didn't need to write much. They'd just talked to the man about all of this. And it was the last one they needed to send to Eastmarch.

"Good. So… the Rift now? We still need that priest," Bishop winked at her with a smirk.

True. And it wasn't the only one whom they wanted to invite there. Aeyrin needed to get to work.

.

Dear Master Therien,

I hope you have been doing well in the chapel. And I hope that the work on the pass is progressing so that you can easily visit home again soon. Please, let me know how things are going over there.

And how have you been feeling? The cold mountain air takes a lot of getting used to, but I hope it helps make you feel better.

I do have to say, it makes me much more excited to write to you that I will share all the news and stories with you in person. I can't wait to see you again soon.

The wedding is happening soon – on the eighteenth of Last Seed. Brunwulf will be taking you there and he should let you know all the details, but I wanted to write to you anyway. And to make sure that you are still willing to hold the ceremony.

I miss you and I can't wait until we see each other again.

Divines be with you and may your faith be your everlasting guide.

Love, Aeyrin

.

She was excited about not having to write everything that was happening, everything on her mind she felt like she needed guidance with, in the letters anymore. Not that she minded before, but it was often much harder to put into written words. Now, she would just be coming to see Master Therien instead. And thank the Gods for that. She couldn't even imagine what she would do if he was still down south and… dying. Slowly. It could take years, unless some nasty disease befell him. It better take years. But if he was still down there and she was up here, it would make her feel so horrible for not being able to see him very often. Granted she didn't see him very often now, but it wasn't any different from the years she had spent adventuring around Cyrodiil. Just the knowledge that she could always see him so easily was enough. And she would see him again soon.

He better be feeling well. Every time she thought about it, a stabbing pain enveloped her heart. The aging and dying of close ones was something the temple attempted to prepare her for. She thought she was prepared for it. But apparently, that wasn't the case when it came to Master Therien. Somehow the thought had never occurred to her.

Somehow she thought he would always be there.

Facing the bitter realization that he wouldn't be, among the other problems plaguing her head, was not exactly allowing her much peace of mind.

But it was for the best right now to just focus on the letters. There were others she needed to write. This one would be from both of them again and it was just another reminder of an in-person invitation they 'delivered' months ago.

.

Dear Raven,

we hope you are doing good and that the house is still treating you well.

We're writing to remind you of our wedding on the eighteenth of Last Seed. We will be looking forward to seeing you. Just come to the southern shore of Lake Ilinalta around noon that day or to the city before that. And, as you know, you can take some people from the Guild as well.

We can't wait to see you there.

Aeyrin and Bishop

.

It must have been clear who composed the letter. Bishop's would have definitely not been this courteous. But he didn't exactly mind – he could already imagine that if he wrote it, Raven would definitely feel like answering some of his jibes. That might end up being an incessant back and forth.

But he could write one. It would make this all go faster. So while Aeyrin started to address the letter 'Dear Lynly', he reached out for one of the parchments himself.

"Give me a piece of that coal. I'll help," he nodded at her, though Aeyrin raised her brow at him dubiously.

What? They were their friends. They didn't need some courteous invitations.

Aeyrin did snap off a piece of the charcoal and handed it to him though. He promptly began to sharpen it against the rocky outcropping beneath him until it was usable, and then he started to scribble on the parchment he placed on the ground.

.

So, since it was your bright idea to do all this wedding shit on a lake and all the other stuff around it, you better believe you're not getting out of helping now. We'll be in Falkreath around the tenth, so show up sometime then and be ready to get to work.

And also, get me those annoying fancy clothes I got stashed in our bedroom at Breezehome. They're in the closet. It's the only fancy shit there, so you can't miss it.

See you there.

Bishop

.

He didn't sign Aeyrin. She would probably not wanna be associated too much with his commanding letter.

But he was happy with it. Saadia and Lydia would hardly mind. And it was their idea and they did promise to help.

That was probably it for Whiterun. Aeyrin didn't even bring up the Companions when they talked about the wedding. Despite her friendship with the twins, they did very actively try to kill Bishop in the past. And now it would probably just stir unpleasant memories for her anyway.

There was no need for that at their wedding.

"I don't know if I should entrust you with any more letters," Aeyrin chuckled when she read over Bishop's letter to Lydia and Saadia. The one she wrote to Lynly was just as nice as the rest of them – she announced their engagement excitedly and courteously invited Lynly to the wedding, while subtly insinuating that she should take her lute. If she didn't want to play and sing though, that was fine too. It was not like they needed music. And if they were in the mood, Aeyrin could always provide it.

"Hey, it does the job, doesn't it?" Bishop grinned. "Who's next?"

"I'll take Azshan. He's probably already in Falkreath anyway. And you… hmm… I guess you can invite Erik and tell him to take whoever he wants with him," she shrugged.

They didn't have many more people to write to. They discussed writing to Calcelmo to invite him, but he was kind of integral to the safety of Markarth right now. Trying to lure him away for a celebration seemed like a selfish thing to do, even though they felt bad for him having all that responsibility on his shoulders now.

Nobody 'official' was going to be invited. It would turn the whole affair a little too political. So even though they wouldn't mind having Elisif or Jarl Idgrod there, it was not the best idea. Besides, they wanted it to be small.

So, they both began working on their respective letters.

.

Dear Azshan,

I hope you are doing well and that your recuperation and retraining are going well.

I'm just writing to give you the details about the wedding. You might already be in Falkreath – if that's the case, we'll see you sooner, but if not, be there on the eighteenth of Last Seed. We're going to be gathering on the southern shore of Lake Ilinalta around noon. But Bishop and I will be in the city around the tenth already, so I hope to see you there.

I miss you and I'm looking forward to seeing you again.

Love, Aeyrin

.

It felt so good being able to write to her friend again without the constant feeling of suspicion, hurt and uncertainty. As horrible as what happened was, she couldn't help but be glad that it all made the truth come out and that she now had her trusted friend back.

It wouldn't have been right if her oldest dear friend wasn't at her wedding.

She looked over at Bishop. He was still working on his own letter. He seemed to be hesitating over one sentence, but in the end, he scribbled it down and finished.

.

Erik,

you wanted to come to the wedding, right? If you forgot, we're having it on the eighteenth of Last Seed. Be on the southern shore of Lake Ilinalta around noon or come to the city before whenever. Bring whoever you want, just don't bring Delphine. We don't need anyone bitching there about every little thing.

And we hope your father's doing better.

Bishop and Aeyrin

.

This time he did sign Aeyrin. It wasn't nearly as rude as the one for Saadia and Lydia. And he really did hope his father was better. They seemed to be close. Good for them. It would suck if that had ended in tragedy.

The two of them exchanged the letters to read them over before they placed them down onto the pile of finished ones. They were almost done. Aeyrin just needed to write one more.

.

Dear Taarie,

thank you again for agreeing to do my dress. I just wanted to remind you that the wedding will be held on the eighteenth of Last seed on Lake Ilinalta. I expect we'll meet at the inn in Falkreath on the day at the latest and feel free to bring whoever you want with you.

I'm looking forward to seeing your beautiful work again.

Aeyrin

.

There. That was that.

All the letters were done. They talked about other people – like the mages from the College or the people of Darkwater Crossing. But the truth was that they weren't too close with any of them, even though the time spent with them was pleasant and friendly. They didn't want to make the event too big and it already kind of was, with the elves and whomever whoever decided to bring. It was for the best not to overdo it. They could surely get only so many small boats and the space on the islands was also limited. It was better if everyone was comfortable.

This way it might be around twenty people. That sounded manageable.

That was kind of a lot of people.

Bishop couldn't help but think about that. He never had this many people he actually liked being around or, even worse, trusted. It was weird. But also kinda nice.

Save for Jules, he was never really not alone in all the bad shit happening around him. And now, not only did he have that one person he could rely on with anything at any time, but he had also a bunch of other people who could be there.

Huh. That really made him think.

And he was getting disturbingly optimistic all of the sudden. It felt… unnatural.

But maybe it was a good thing. Everything didn't sound so inevitably domed when he thought about this.

"You know, this is kinda… encouraging. Makes it easier to think about," he mused out loud before he realized Aeyrin was kind of missing the context there. She just looked at him in confusion. "I just mean… when shit got tough, I don't remember ever having people I could rely on. I had Jules, sure, but… I always felt like I needed to be the one to take care of him. It's… just new, thinking about all these people I actually… trust. Well… not all of them, but you get it." They barely knew the Altmer seamstress and he definitely still had reservations about Azshan after all that shit, but the rest…

Fuck. He didn't even think about having reservations about Raven. What the fuck happened there? How did talking about Jules actually clear up so much of the animosity he felt for him? It was weird. He should still be mad about Raven's betrayal, even if it had been years ago. But he just couldn't bring himself to be mad anymore. It was not like he didn't understand that Raven was doing something he himself had been trying to do too – protecting Jules.

"Are you just finding out you have actual friends?" Aeyrin giggled at him as she nuzzled back into his embrace comfortably. The letters were all done and now the two of them could enjoy the closeness once more without any obligations on their minds.

"I was just thinking… it might not all be so ridiculously bleak, you know? I mean… with everything," he moved his hand down onto her stomach to signify what he meant. He wasn't sure why he didn't just say it. Maybe it was still a little hard to talk about it. "If we get into some deep shit, we have people around who can keep the kid safe. Who would do something like that for us. Who we can actually trust."

It was a little comforting to think about that. He kept worrying about the trouble that just always tended to find them and the lack of safe spaces from it. But he never before actually thought about… relying on someone else to help.

"Uhm… yeah. I guess that's true," Aeyrin nodded. It was a little comforting. Sure. But she instantly started to feel self-conscious about something else. He was thinking that far ahead? She was just… trying with all her might not to think of it at all. After the initial panic of how messy their lives were and how much danger their child would inevitably be in, she just couldn't stand thinking about it. Not about when it was going to be… around.

"It's a good thing, right?" He looked at her, seemingly caught off guard. It was fair. He expected the thing he was just taking comfort in would comfort her too, but she couldn't help herself. And her uncertain answer was clearly not enough for him.

"Yeah. Yeah, it is," she tried to smile, but it came out weak. She didn't know if she should talk about this. It made her feel so guilty that she didn't want to think about any of this and now it made her feel even guiltier when Bishop brought it up all on his own, without anything forcing him to think of it. But, then again, her own mind seemed to be trying to force her to think of it constantly too, even though she kept dismissing the thoughts. She really shouldn't blame him for that.

And she really should just talk to him. No matter how guilty it was still making her.

"I just… it's hard even thinking about it. At all."

"Oh, I know, believe me," he sighed and Aeyrin instantly gave him a hopeful look. Then she felt guilty again for actually being happy that he found it hard too. "But I'm thinking we might as well start focusing on the positives, you know? Maybe then it will be easier to deal with the dangerous and worrying parts."

"'Focus on the positive'?" Aeyrin's eyes widened at him. "Did you get a concussion in that fight?"

Bishop let out a brief laugh at her incredulousness. He knew it was really weird, coming from him. But it was the best idea he got right now. What else was there to do?

"I know. Fucking weird. But I'm hoping it might make shit feel less dire," he shrugged a little as he pressed her closer into his embrace reassuringly.

"Maybe," Aeyrin mumbled. She kind of just wanted to snuggle with him and not talk anymore, but she wouldn't be able to stop thinking about this all anyway. Maybe it was a good idea to give that attitude a try. She just… couldn't really come up with any positives just then. "So… what positives are there?"

"I don't know. I only just now thought we should try that," he chuckled. "Well… there's the fact that there are people who will help us keep the kid safe if we're still hunted by assassins and shit like that. And… I guess some of the things when the kid's older would be fun. Like first hunts."

Aeyrin had to admit, the idea of Bishop teaching their child how to hunt was kind of cute.

Someday. It still felt oddly too soon and yet not soon enough.

"It's gonna be like a decade before that happens," she smirked a little sadly.

"Well… there's gonna be good shit before that too." He was determined to think of something. As unprepared as they were for this, there had to be some stuff they were ready for – some that they would be good at and that would actually feel rewarding and not like they were screwing up an innocent kid. "We'll just… do whatever the fuck we can. It might all go better than we think now. We know what asshole parents look like. At least we won't be that bad, right?"

"Yeah… I get it, I can imagine nice moments and stuff," Aeyrin sighed. "But… it's like I always start to think like… that can't be us. Like I don't know what to do to make the kid's life… normal."

"Maybe nobody does. There's gotta be so many people just as caught off guard by this shit. Granted, most of them might not have dragons and assassins to deal with, but… they might have other shit. People just make this sort of thing work, I guess. And maybe we can too." He really was disturbingly optimistic. It was weird talking like this. But it was kind of calming him down. And he hoped it was working on her too.

"Hmm… maybe," Aeyrin nodded thoughtfully. Maybe they could adapt to this. They had to adapt to so much worse stuff before – like the aforementioned dragons and assassins. This wasn't such a deadly adjustment. And she did like kids. She didn't feel ready to actually take care of one. But maybe she wasn't the only one who felt like this. And people did make it work. "And kids are fun. I like them." When they were strangers' and she didn't have to deal with them too much. But maybe it was just the fear talking.

"Yeah. And I kinda liked taking care of Zoeya too," Bishop smiled. He had to keep reminding himself of it. He kind of instantly took to the girl – likely because he was still grieving and all her subtle features reminded him of Jules so much. But even without that, it was kind of nice to be just living somewhere, away from dangers and playing family with Elisie. Even if shit caught up with them soon.

It was true that back then he didn't really think much of what he could screw up. He just wanted to do right by Jules. And now… now he still had his messed up family fresh in mind as well as being back in Skyrim with assassins after him again. It was easy to resort to catastrophic thoughts.

But he had to fight through that. They both did.

"Shit will get better," he smiled at Aeyrin encouragingly. Because how could it possibly get any worse?

"Maybe," she nodded once more. It was still a little hard to believe his optimistic words, but she was trying. Funny – usually she was the naïve one looking at the brighter sides. How did he manage it now? The thoughts still filled her with dread. She wasn't sure if she was grateful that Bishop was trying to ease the feelings, or if she was a little resentful about him being even capable of trying while she wasn't.

It was all so confusing and all she ever felt lately was guilt over how she was feeling and thinking.

"Remind me of that the next time I get sick," she chuckled a little. That was another thing that hasn't been exactly pleasant so far – the pregnancy itself. Although she was pretty sure that if she hadn't found out so soon, the symptoms would not be nearly as noticeable. Now she knew and she was aware of every little thing, every spell of nausea or tiredness, every strange taste in her mouth or smell that made her queasy.

"That's not gonna be all bad either," Bishop smirked at her. He stroked over her stomach a little longer before his hand slid up, over her shirt, and to her breasts. He was being quite gentle when he squeezed her – she noticed he was trying to be careful since she told him how sensitive she had been feeling. But his point was made nonetheless. "Your tits are gonna be even more amazing."

Aeyrin couldn't help but laugh at the 'positive side' that popped into his head. Of course he was going to concentrate on that. And he didn't really realize what came with those changes. But if he was so excited about that, maybe she could find something that would excite her about it too.

"So, are you gonna give me massages when my back will hurt all day?" She grinned. There it was – one thing that actually did make her think of it more positively. Bishop would surely be bending over backwards to make everything comfortable and painless for her.

"Sure. Back massages, front massages, you name it," he chuckled. He was all there for that.

And he was determined to try and focus on shit like this, no matter what.

Maybe in time, it would get easier.

It had to, right?