Chapter 2

...

The Genesis is ready on dock number 3. Not that she chose it, but if there was something hilarious on that day Trinity would have smiled at the coincidence.

She didn't choose to be a Captain neither, but accepting her upgraded rank had been practically obvious after she refused to be in one of the High Chair of the Council.

Of the 6 members of her crew just Esc is waiting on the dock, by the open ramp of the ship, his large bag on one shoulder. Ghost is probably working inside, making the last checks which are always mandatory before every departure.

Esculapius, for everyone just Esc. He was a student with a passion for medicine and computers before being freed from the Matrix. The real world didn't change his passions, that's why he decided to be a medical Officer, and why Trinity wanted him as doctor of her ship. Despite she's sure none can tell, she likes him. He's experienced, but not arrogant, a little shy and silent sometimes. He's a couple years older then she is, but they used to have mutual friends in the Academy, so he's new on her ship, but not really "new" for her. Tall, large-shouldered, Creole amber dark skin, green eyes… she can't deny he's definitely a handsome man. Not a surprise then if Joy, first officer of the Orion has a crush on him.

"Esc"

Trinity approaches him from behind and he quickly turns to her, greeting her. He looks at the large bag on her right shoulder and at the way her body bents on the opposite side holding the weight.

"I'd offer to bring it for you, Captain, but I already know your answer"

She can't help the little smirk which plays on her face.

"Thanks," she says "for not asking"

A smirk plays on Esc's lip in turn for a second than his features turn serious mirroring hers.

"What happened today, it's about you and me only. Not a word with anyone"

He nods in what is a clear 'ok'.

"Esc, just to be clear, it's not a plead. It's an order" she adds in an authoritative tone as he nods again.

"Yes, ma'am"

They stare at each other and she whispers a much gentler 'thank you'.

Esc is about talking again, probably remarking something in turn about the events of the morning, but the arrival of Morpheus forces him to change the subject.

"Sir, may I bring that for you?" He asks gesturing to Morpheus' bag as he nods instead, taking the bag from his shoulder and handing it to the younger man.

Esc just glances at Trinity. She can bet of seeing a smirk on Esc's lips before he turns to the ramp.

"You should make a chivalry refresh to your crew, Captain" Morpheus says with a teasing smirk watching Trinity's bag as for a second she just stares at him, then she shrugs.

"Elders first" she replies with a very impertinent and fresh look then smirking in turn to him.

Synthients City.

The skyline is not different from the last time Trinity saw it and even her mood is the same.
Three power lines connected to the fetuses fields where spider-shaped machines are gathering them like their just some sort of fruits.

This hasn't changed and this still gives her the same feeling of revultion of the first time she heard about it.

Well, now even more, if it's somehow possible.

But Machines still need energy for surviving, and there's not another way than taking energy from human beings. As revolting as it can be she can't deny Humans attacked first, so many years earlier. And they were the ones dimming the sun.

Cleaning the sky is the first common aim they have, to give energy to both machines and humans, but it's a complex project and still far from success.

Trinity silently looks throughout the windshield as the ship moves between two large columns of dark and reddish pods, like futuristic enormous apartment buildings... the large amount of people still connected to the Matrix. Human batteries unaware of their artificial existence.

Behind those the high metal towers of the city. Being back there is harder than she thought, but she doesn't look away.

"Up there"

She says as Ghost follows her indication and drives the Genesis on the flat surface of the highest building where there's a sort of airstrip.

The ship lands softly despite its weight, just giving a little jolt as the engine stops, so that Trinity has to hold on the driver seat to prevent herself from jerking and falling. She's used to it.

Suddenly it's silence all around, broken just by a sort of metallic squeaking from time to time. She can remember this… and blood seems to freeze in her veins at that thought.

.

… "Trin?"

… "Trinity?"

… Anxiety grows in Neo's voice as he calls her name again in the darkness. His voice echoes in the total silence all around, like if he's screaming in a complete empty cave.

… "Trinity!"

… He screams this time. Panic clearly audible now.

… "... I'm here"

.

"Trinity!"

She seems to awake from a bittersweet dream. She can still feel his touch and hear his voice in her mind.

"You ok?"

She meets Ghost's worried look, but she decides to ignore it. She has to ignore it.

"Time to go" she just says, glancing at him and then looking away, turning to take a jacket and quickly putting it up, then walking out of the cockpit and down the ladder where Morpheus is waiting for her, in turn zipping up his own jacket.

For once he doesn't say anything and he just lets her walk past him, letting her go ahead as Ghost and Esc just stand on the hold door of the ship.

No matter how a strong and tough soldier she's always been… this is going to be the hardest thing of all her life.

Trinity stands, her arms crossed in front of her chest, by Neo's pod. Actually she doesn't know what she feels right now. She feels out of reality, halfway between a dream and a nightmare. A mixture of anger and rage in which hope's trying to sneaking in, breaking her armor and making her feel vulnerable. She can't allow herself to lose her self control.

Protea's synthetic voice is talking to her, but it looks like Trinity can't hear her. Her blue eyes are fixed on Neo's motionless naked body and on the many cables connected to the black jacks entering his flesh.

He's not dead, not yet actually, but he's connected to the Matrix once more.

"You knew what happened to him?" Trinity's voice breaks the silence. It's no more than a whisper but sharp like a blade anyway "You knew that he was alive… and you didn't tell me?"

Hurt is clearly audible in her voice as she turns to meet Protea's eyes. The android's metallic eyelids move giving her a sort of human look.

"Trinity!"

It's Morpheus' voice this time. The same reprimand tone he used with her when Persephone asked Neo for a kiss, but a little softer this time. She well knows what his tone is reminding her. She needs to stay calm and wait for more explanations… she can't allow her personal battle to interfere with the armistice between their people and Machines, not after Neo's sacrifice.

"There were times I doubted my decision, Trinity. Taking you back, leaving him here. But 'peace' needed you. And we all needed peace. You've been the tangible sign of a new harmony, fundamental key for cooperation between your people and mine. There was nothing you could make for him here. He never regained consciousness."

Trinity's blue stare is cold and sharp like ice.

"I could have been here for him,"

She pauses, shaking her head. Hurt clearly audible in her voice now, mixed with a sense of betrayal which makes it hurts even more, like salt on an open wound.

"You wanted peace as much as I did. If I would have told you everything, you would have had a very difficult choice to make"

"My friends let me make my own choices"

They stare at each other. Not that she can expect Pantea can understand it. She's a synthient, she can analyze 'love' and the connections between lovers, but she can't really understand it. She can't understand how she needed to be there for the love her life anyway, no matter if he could be aware of her presence or not.

"If it was a mistake, you have my deepest apologies"

Trinity swallows, her features still tense, but she nods, accepting her friend's sincere apologizing. After all Machines never lie, they omitted at most, but never lie. That's why she's learning how she has to ask them very precise questions. They always give a short and clear answer to a specific question. They never add particulars instead, if not specifically requested. So, after all it was her choice, not asking more about Neo. It was too painful just thinking about it, again something Synthients can't understand... how she can feel Neo's pain, down in her lower abdomen, like it's hers.

She turns to Neo's pod again. For three months she had thought he died right on that night. Now, she knows he didn't, but machines didn't succeed in 'resuscitating' him like they did with her. They somehow succeeded to heal his body, but they couldn't do the same with his too damaged mind. They tried a sort of 'restart' connecting him to the Matrix and making a reset of his memory. If he'd survive he won't remember of her, or Zion, anymore. But any attempt they tried seem to have been useless anyway. Fragments of his old memories come back in form of hallucinations, messing his everyday life and giving him a mental breakdown. He attempted suicide not succeeding on it because of the Synthients' intervention, but it's just a matter of time.

"Why did you want me here now then?"

"To make your own choice"

She quickly turns to Pantea again, her blue eyes widen as the android's features stay unperturbed as usual.

"What choice?"

Pantea's inexpressive face stares back at her.

"He's dying. His body's surrendering to his mind. There's nothing we can do for him anymore"

"What choice?" Trinity repeats again in a whisper.

"You can try to free him from the Matrix once more. The odds that you'll be the one causing his death in the attempt is 99%..."

She knows what Pantea means. Neo's EEG pattern is pure blue pill now, and she's aware that taking him out, against his will, would mean killing him.

Pantea pauses, her empty eyes staring at her. If it wasn't for her inexpressive features she'd say she's watching her with compassionate eyes, but she's probably just imaging it. She's not sure of being clear of mind in this moment.

"You said 'choice'. But you've just said I have to choose between being the one giving him death or letting him die... I don't call this a choice" Trinity stops and inhales deeply, almost fearing going on despite her usual coldbloodeness "If I have no real chances to keep him alive, why did you take me here, Pantea?"

They stare at each other. She doesn't know if Pantea can feel what she feels right now, she has no idea how she does it sometimes, but she seems to read her emotions, even the ones she's usually so good in hiding to people, even to her friends. She says it's because of some sort of vibrations in the air around her, but if it wasn't for the so many years of considering machines just a mass of metal she would have called it "empathy". She asked her about 'love' once, curious to understand more about that human feeling, that unknown feeling which makes humans doings senseless things, but in a way gives sense to everything.
.

... are you really ready to die for this man?

... believe it!

... she'll do it. She's in love.

...
...she loves you... you love her... it's all over you both...

.

"There's something I want to show you"

Pantea says, and for an instant Trinity feels like she was somehow reading her mind again.

The floor suddenly moves under their feet, and Trinity is taken off guard by a bad giddiness which forces the agonist and antagonist muscles of her legs to move simultaneously to keep her balance.
Cables appear from nothing forming a seat.

If Pantea can feel her, she can feel her uncertainty now. But whatever she wants to show her, if there's a chance to give Neo a chance, even just one, she's going to try. She has to try.
Trinity's the one sitting down on that sort of chair. Morpheus just stands there, near her. She doesn't say anything and just gives a little nod, inhaling deeply as she closes her eyes. Pantea doesn't need a chair. And they're back in the Matrix.

Everything is exactly like it was the last time she was there, the noise of a busy city all around her, voices and cars and so many people living their so-called lives, unconsciously.

Trinity's senses automatically switch in alert and alarm mode and her hands move on her sides unwittingly and instinctively checking the presence of her guns. She doesn't find them and for an instant a wave of anxiety runs through her.

"Take it easy. No agents here"

The long-haired little woman in her forties looks up at her from behind her eyeglasses. She wears a pair of pink jeans with a flowery shirt and a sleeveless light blue jacket over it, and sandals.

"Pantea," Trinity can't help the very little smile which plays on her lips despite the tension she feels in her stomach. It's the first time she watches the android's digital image and somewhere in her mind she takes notes to talk to her about what humans mean for 'fashion'.

"I like colors. You should try. It helps good mood" Pantea says again like reading Trinity's mind, watching Trinity's usual total-black outfit.

She's not in her form-fitting lucid latex clothes though. Just a pair of black jeans, a t-shirt and a short leather jacket. And boots.

They're in front of what looks like a coffee bar.

The Simulatte.

... uhm... appropriate choice of naming...

"What is it?" Trinity asks somehow impatient and not at ease in feeling exposed in an open space and in a sunny day. Years of hiding and sneaking, eluding agents are not easy to going beyond.

"Just come with me"

They walk through the large glass door. A pungent smell of coffee permeates the room where people is intent in their chatting not paying attention to them.

... uhm...

Trinity exhales slowly.

... smell isn't real...it shouldn't supposed to give her such a nausea...

Trinity silently follows Pantea as she leads her to an empty corner from where they can keep a watchful eye on the front door, undisturbed. She knows Pantea wants to show her 'him', Neo. As much as she thinks to be prepared to it, the moment he enters that same glass door her breath suddenly stops in her lungs. Her heart sort of gives a start.

Thomas Anderson back into his old life. Back in his lightly creased gray suit and white shirt. He's exactly the same she looked at for so many weeks before freeing him, just longer-haired and bearded. He looks around, apparently not noticing her, nor Pantea, and walks to the counter, glancing at his watch as Trinity glances in turn to the clock on the wall. 8.50 am. He has to be at his desk in less than 10 minutes... if he wanted to have breakfast it's clearly late.

He orders a coffee (milk and two sugars Trinity whispers in her mind) and a glass of water, and he just stands there as the barman wraps a bun (... his usual morning bun) in a paper bag and puts it in front of him. He thanks him just with a nod.

"Cmon" Pantea says standing up and Trinity gives her a questioning look. What-?

She walks to the counter and nonchalantly orders coffee for both of them. Neo doesn't move nor seem to notice their presence to his side. It's a place always full of people after all. He just absently keeps sipping his coffee standing at the counter, and for the very first time in her life Trinity thinks she can pass out, her lungs seems not remembering how to work properly anymore.

It's an instant. Pantea moves behind Neo and her body intentionally hits him, not hard, but enough for his hand to shake so that he spills the half cup of coffee on Trinity's shirt.

"Shit!"

Trinity swears, taken off guard, and Neo suddenly looks up at her, instinctively taking a paper towel from the little box in front of him and handing it to her in an awkward attempt to do something useful.

"Shit" he echoes "I'm so sorry!"

Their eyes lock in. His deep dark eyes in the bright blue of hers.

"I-, I really apologize" Neo repeats, meeting her piercing stare.

"Well, what I call a coffee on the go!" She mocks him still staring at him with her icy blue eyes despite the hint of a very little smirk which plays on her lips.

She takes the towel he's still offering her as he gives her another awkward look.

"Er, I'm an idiot. May I- may I offer you a coffee?" Neo asks, embarrassment still clearly visible on his face, not looking away from Trinity's eyes though.

Trinity doesn't hold back a real smile this time, however shaking her head in a 'thanks, no'.

"I already had my dose of caffeine for today," she adds as he gives her another apologetic look and an uncomfortable smile.

"Um, I'm Thomas Anderson" Neo says, stretching out his hand for her as Trinity's eyes move down on Neo's hand, tentatively taking it, but not shaking it.

"Hi, Thomas. I'm... Tiff, um...Tiffany."

Neo's eyes are still in hers as he whispers just an 'Hi, Tiff", almost freezing up at her touch. In turn he doesn't shake her hand, just holding it in his at the inexplicable light wave of electricity her touch seems to trigger. Warmth runs along his skin.

"Have we met?"

He asks as his so pretty dark eyes look down at their joined hands, then moving up again on her face, like mesmerized in the blue of hers.

"Er..."

Despite the apparent confidence of her posture, no full sense sentence comes to her mind and he just stares at her, still indulging in the feeling of their joint hands.

"Oh buddy, here you are!"

A overweight guy quickly walks to Neo " Sorry. Uh, it's the boss. Hurry up, he wants you in his office right now. What's going on?" His eyes move from Neo to Trinity and stop on her "Oh, hi," he says watching her from head to toe with curious eyes.

Trinity knows about him much more that he can know. Just one of Neo's colleagues since Thomas Anderson can't be counted as a very social man.

"Right. Sorry. I really have to go" Neo says as Trinity just gives him a little nod. And yet he seems to have no intention to move from there, his eyes still mesmerized in Trinity's blue eyes.

"Please, call me. To sent me the dry-cleaner's bill" He says, handing her a business card.

"Really, no need" She shakes her head and for an instant he seems mortified by her answer, so she hurries to adjust a shot "Uhm, well, yes, fine then"

He seems to relax at her words and gives her a little smile.

"See you again then?" He asks taking a step back since he really needs to leave this time.

She'd like to be able to return his smile, but she can't. And her answer is just a whisper.

"I hope so"

Trinity and Morpheus walk together along the metal labyrinth of corridors leading to the landing strip where the Genesis and its crew is waiting for their return.

It's a silent walking.

They had expected their coming back to the ship to be like this... just for a complete different reason.

"Do you think Neo somehow recognized you?" Morpheus asks at one point breaking the absence of sounds. His is just a whisper but it sounds like a louder tone in the total stillness wrapping them.

Trinity doesn't turn to him, keeping walking and looking straight in front of herself.

"No"

She just shakes her head, not adding anything else.

It's just silence again. Silence broken just by the sound of their boots against metal.

"His EEG pattern spiked during your interaction with him" Morpheus low voice says again as she slows her walking and stops this time, her head turns to him.

"Limbic or frontal cortex?"She asks, her eyes serious and tired for the restrained tears that she has no intention to let rolling down.

"Frontal mainly. But we registered a general increase in voltage"

"Mmh," she just replies "it doesn't mean anything, Morpheus" she shakes her head, resuming her walking. She well knows, as he knows, that it means Neo, er... Thomas Anderson, liked their interaction, not that she triggers something in his memories. After all she's conscious of being considered attractive for most men (not that she cares actually), surely more in the Matrix, where she doesn't wear worn-out clothes and her hair isn't a mess.

Choice.

So, ironically, once again it's a matter of choice.

She has to choose between trying to free Neo again despite the very high risk to cause his death in the attempt, or to try to give him a chance in the Matrix. He can't do it by himself, it's clear now. She can't afford him having another breakdown, attempting suicide again and probably succeeding in it. Pantea is offering her this, the possibility to be back in a pod, connected to the Matrix. A chance to be both alive... like Thomas and Tiffany... just as blue pills, once again unaware of the real life, unaware of Zion...
Her mind goes back to Cypher's betrayal.

.

... I'm tired, Trinity. I'm tired of this war, I'm tired of fighting. I'm tired of this ship, of being cold, of eating the same goddamn goop every day. But most of all, I'm tired of this jagoff and all of his bullshit.

... But you're out, Cypher. You can't go back.

... That's what you think. They've promised to take me back. They're going to reinsert my body. I'll go back to sleep and when I wake up, I'll be fat and rich and I won't remember a goddamned thing.

.

Her stomach twinges at the bare thought.

Choosing the Matrix to have back Neo is like betraying the memory of every soldier who gave their lives for a cause they all believed in. In which she still believes.
Even if, in this moment it sounds like the easiest way, almost comforting, how can she do it? How can she be a 'blue pill' again? Living an artificial 'happily ever after" maybe.
How can she make a choice?

She meets both Ghost and Esc's looks as they sit on the hold door of the ship. They both simultaneously stand up as soon as they see them coming and Morpheus letting Trinity go ahead, so she starts climbing the ramp first. Her eyes meet Ghost's again and for a moment she seems to sway. She stops and suddenly turns back, hurrying in climbing down the ramp, quickly passing near Morpheus who turns to look at her. Her hand grasps the handrail as she turns right at the end of it, holding back as long as she can the impulse to vomit till she's forced bending down at the stronger wave of nausea which crushes her.

"Shit!"

Esc hurries to run down the ramp, but Morpheus stops both him and Ghost from reaching her and come to her aid. His hand on Esc's arm.

"Let her alone. She needs time"