Chapter 3

...

The mess hall is silent and yet they're all there. Three men who just glance at each other from time to time, lost in their thoughts. A lot of words had been said and yet the last word isn't up to them, but to the only one who's absent in that moment.
The door creaks and opens a second later, and Trinity enters the room.
Tiredness is clear all over her face and the red rims circling her blue eyes make them look even bluer.
She meets everyone's look, stopping on Morpheus for a little longest moment before looking down, avoiding his gaze. He feels a sting in his chest seeing her like that, he's not her Commander in that moment, he's a friend, and in a way... a father. She was just a girl when he first met her, when he freed her from the mental cage of the Matrix (the one she's considering being back in again).
And yet when she looks up, her eyes are determined and resolute like usual. There's not sign of weakness in Trinity's stare, the Captain of the Genesis is back.
She just sits down in front of them, looking down at her own intertwined fingers.
She doesn't talk, like pondering if saying what she's about saying... or not.

"Trinity,"

Morpheus' low voice makes Trinity's eyelid flutter but she doesn't look up at him.

"Aren't you really pondering the second option, are you?"

Again Trinity doesn't look up, her eyes still on her own fingers.

"In my place he'd do it. To save my life. I have no doubt about it" Her blue eyes meet Morpheus' and they just stare at each other.

"Trinity?"

It's Ghost's voice this time, and fear and incredulity are clearly audible in it "Back in a pod? You can't consider it really"

She intentionally avoids turning toward him, and ignores her brother's words, turning to meet Esc's look instead.

"You analyzed Neo's pattern. What do you think?" She asks as her eyes pierce him "The truth, Lieutenant!" She specifies in her authoritative tone, feeling Esc's uncertainty.

"Total blue pill, Captain" he replies as Trinity gives a little nod at the confirmation of what she actually already knew.

"Yeah,"

She has to look away and to bite on her lower lip in order to prevent it from trembling.

"Trinity,"

She suddenly stands up, raising one hand to stop everyone in there from pressuring her, the other hand covers her eyes for an instant. She turns, giving them her back and her hand massages her neck in the point where it turns in her shoulder.
None of them can understand. She'd like to have a choice to take, but the reality is that there's only one available choice, no matter if she likes it or not.

"How many odds are there for the ... uhm... 'the two of us', in a pod?" She asks turning again toward them and opening her eyes to stare right in Esc's eyes.

The doctor's eyes widen and he looks at her and then right and left (to Morpheus and Ghost) like to be sure he's really allowed to answer that question.

"Uhm..." the shaking of his head anticipate his words "none, ma'am. None for -"

His eyes moves down on her stomach and than back up in hers eyes as doesn't look away.
She gives him a bitter nod as she has to sit down again.

"There's just an option left then"

Trinity sighs, swallowing hard and looking from her crew to her Commander and back to Esc "it looks like, whatever I choose, I have no chance to not gonna kill someone after all" her words are whispered this time, sharp and hurt despite the sarcastic bitter chuckle which exits her throat.

"What are you two talking about?"

Ghost's voice is clearly alarmed now as he looks from his sister to Esc and back to her as Trinity's eyes are still staring at Esc instead. Why on hell is she looking at him like asking for his permission? She never lets anyone to interfere in her choices. No one, except Neo maybe.

"Sis?"

Trinity turns to Ghost this time, ignoring the use of a pet name in a formal meeting of her crew.
But she doesn't answer, once again like pondering if telling him more or not.

"Killing Neo or... who else, Captain?" He intentionally pressures her this time, and purposely uses her military title, saying it out and loud "Yourself?"

Her eyes stare at him and she stands up, straightening her back, her piercing blue eyes fixed on her First Official.

"my... baby," she replies in a flat tone "I'm pregnant" she just adds, in a firm tone that makes clear to everyone in there that she doesn't want talking nor being asked for anything else about that subject.

Her eyes moves on Esc's once more ad Ghost's eyes look from the one to the other one, then back again to Trinity.

"Ghost, arrange for the full crew to be ready for a rescue mission. As soon as we're back in Zion I want the ship ready to take off again as soon as possible" Her tone is firm again and her voice is clear this time. She's not asking, she's ordering.

And there's nothing else to be said.

She heads to the door and just leaves.

Not even half an hour later a knock on Trinity's quarter door forces her to wake up. Well, not that she was sleeping actually, she was just there, lying down on the bed where she hadn't bother to move the sheet neither. Her boots still on.

Her hand moves on her lower belly, massaging it to smooth the bad feeling coming from there, before sitting up. She inhales and exhales deeply trying to collect the strength to be able of standing without swaying, but she decides to just stay where she is.

"Come in" she just says as the door open and Ghost appears on it.

"The guys are ready as soon as we're there and Morpheus got the Council approving for Pantea's presence on the ship if necessary" Ghost stares at Trinity as she nods and somehow her features relax lightly.

"Thank you" she just says as he nods in turn, turning and heading to the door again, but stopping there, not exiting it.

Trinity watches the way in which Ghost's shoulders relax and then stiff again. And he turns to her again, meeting her eyes.

"Is it what you wanted to tell me yesterday? That you're pregnant?" He asks, his tone softer as she just whispers a 'yes'.

Ghost's features don't relax like she expects and she just stares at him.

"Esculapius," Ghost says, using the complete name most people probably forgot since everyone use to call him just 'Esc' "Is the baby his?"

Trinity's eyes widen and her shiny glare almost burns him.

"What? NO! Are you out of mind?"

Trinity's suddenly on her feet and Ghost instinctively takes a step back, almost fearing she's about slamming him against the wall. She doesn't obviously and she just looks him in the eyes, murmuring a 'Shit, Ghost!'.

He regrets his question and from the hurt look in her eyes it's clear the baby can't be of anyone else than Neo's.

She runs a hand in her hair and turns giving him her back, her hand grabs the back of the seat by the desk and just stands there, leaning on it and focusing on inhaling deeply and exhaling slowly.

Esc. Really? Shit! He's a member of her crew and a handsome guy, no doubt about it. But a handsome guy, nothing else.

… "Esculapius… is the baby his?"

Shit!

She remembers the look in Esc's green eyes and the way in which he passed a hand through his dark hair looking for the right way to say it.

She'd asked him to see her because she didn't feel well. She didn't pay attention at first, after having being so near to death a mild malaise was the minimum she could expect, but her symptoms had increased recently to the point that, as reluctant as she is, she had to choose to ask for a check.

...

... "Esc, what is it?"
... "It seems that you're pregnant, ma'am"
... Trinity's eyes widen, her lips parts, visibly stunned.
... "I can't be" she just says, her tone firm and secure.
... "I'm sorry to rebut, ma'am, but... you definitely are."
..."You must be mistaken, Esc, I can't be pregnant"

... She's looking straight in Esc's eyes.Esc is about talking again and she shuts him up just with a look.
... "I haven't had sex in the last three months, Esc, I definitely can't be pregnant"
... He looks hesitant again but he just turns toward her a screen where a fetal heartbeat is clearly visible.
... "I haven't told you how far, Captain" he says "3 months… at least,"

... It's a sudden mixture of nausea and dizziness the one which hits her, and she knows it's not about the pregnancy in itself, but because of what it means. Her baby. Neo's baby. Still a few inches, but a perfect human-being-to-be. Little feet and hands already well visible, despite she still shows a very flat abdomen.

... "I guess it's... unwanted then, right?"

... "Er, not 'unwanted'. Unexpected. But Neo, he would have been-"

… Thrilled.

… She doesn't finish the sentence and her eyes soften and then darken at that thought . Yeah, Neo would have been thrilled. She's about talking again when her breathing partially stops at what feels like an incipient cramp, not strong enough to be counted as painful actually. She just exhales slowly.

… "Uhm... is my baby ok?"

… Esc just meets her eyes again as he realizes he's not used to see worrying in what is the always so self-confident stare of his Captain.

… "Er… nothing to worry about, Captain, but you need some rest. I'm the one ordering this time. No discussion"

… She just nods in what is a sort of 'I'll try...'

... "Don't get to used to it!" She smirks.

...

"C,mon, sorry, just sit down. You' need some rest" Ghost says approaching Trinity from behind and gently touching her back. She's still facing the chair, leaning on it for support, focusing on her breathing (and lost in her memories).

She quickly moves away from his touch, ignoring both his words and his caring gesture, and she turns to him, glaring at him.

"I'm not feeling sick, Ghost, I'm focusing for not breaking your face!"

She slaps on his chest, not hard enough to harm him anyway. He takes her hand in his, holding it there against his own chest, and her eyes softens as a little smirk plays on her lips.

"You're an idiot" she adds as he chuckles, taking her in a hug that she accepts, hugging him in turn but giving another slap to his shoulder.

"Sorry," he says again looking in her eyes "but, the two of you acted like there was a secret between the two of you," she lifts both eyebrows at his words, even if yes, she has ordered him to keep the secret with everyone "...and you told him, before than..."

'...me'

She doesn't need him to finish the sentence, but she rolls her eyes at him, theatrically.

"I haven't told him, genius, he's my doctor."

Ghost's lips open and then close as he realizes that, yes, he's an idiot.

"Is there a chance you can forget everything I said?" He asks with an ironic look as she smirks biting on her lower lip to keep her smile for growing larger.

"As your Captain I'll feign I never heard you accusing your boss of having slept with a subordinate" she mocks him "as your sister I'll use it against you your all life"

She chuckles and he can't help but chuckling in turn. She's even more beautiful when she smiles and for an instant she seems to forget what she went through and what she's about going through.

"It's fair," he says, pulling her to himself to put a kiss on her forehead.