The cottage was quiet and frankly, dismal.
Emeline had returned home with Remus two days prior and to her surprise, they had not spoken since. She wasn't sure how they even arrived home, when she thought on it. The travel back was a total blur and she had been in such a stupor absorbing this information and watching her father essentially ignore her, that she didn't have much expression in her.
She had not cried, she had not screamed… they both were simply existing at present.
Sirius found it incredibly unnerving.
He had tried to pull information out of them, owl-ed Harry, and lightened the mood in every way he could, but they were not budging. Harry was despondent and he desperately wanted him here with them, but he was mentally in so many directions right now and Harry wasn't very talkative either, understandably so.
Sirius did find out one thing: he knew nothing of what transpired between Emeline and Remus outside of Cedric Diggory's death, though he had seen them leave with Severus.
Sirius was at present seated on the couch in animagus form and Emeline gave him a pat on the head as she walked by. She had a book tucked under her arm and today's jar of Wolfsbane potion in her hand. Sirius let out a low howl of 'good luck' and she headed to the basement, where Remus had been spending most of the last two days. It was dark aside for the candlelight and she could just make out his frame sitting on the old bed in the cellar. He was staring off out the small window, not breaking his gaze with the moon that would be full in two more days time.
"Dad?" She asked gently, pushing the door completely open and stepping inside. She sat at his feet and held up his potion.
"You haven't taken it today." She continued quietly, arm shaking slightly as she waited for him to respond to her in any way.
He turned his head very slowly toward her, his face so painfully forlorn and pale. She tried to hide her emotions: the shocked breath she wanted to suck in, her trembling hands and racing heart; her wondering how much he still cared for her… she sighed, knowing he could feel it.
His sad eyes met hers, but not for long.
"I don't deserve to." He mumbled. She barely caught what he said.
"What?" She asked breathlessly. "I don't understand, you told me this was for safety. Why wouldn't yo-"
"In part," he replied angrily, gritted teeth. "But the sanity keeps me safe, too." His voice saddened again. "I deserve whatever the wolf does."
Emeline slowly set the jar down on the floor with a clink of glass against stone. She pulled out the book from under her arm and moved closer to him. When he didn't flinch, she responded.
"I found these; my baby pictures. I thought you'd might like to see them."
She felt the back and forth in her soul:
Angry. Sad. Angry. Sad. Angry
"I don't." He replied, still staring out the window.
"Dad?" She was on the verge of tears now, bound and determined for him to break this wall.
She never knew he could be so cold.
"Do you see the pain this is causing you?" He asked in a whisper.
"This?!" She yelled, exasperated, taking him by surprise. "Not this! You! You've chosen to be unable to look me in the eye!" Her tears were flowing freely now and he sighed heavily, rubbing his eyes with a tired hand.
"Emeline, not now." He groaned.
"Yes now!" She shouted, standing abruptly. "You're being completely careless with yourself and me and it's unacceptable! This affects me, dad! And here you are making it all about you!"
She felt the sting in her heart but couldn't be bothered to mind that it hurt him. She knew he needed a wake up call and wasn't sure anyone had ever given him one whilst deep in his pit of self loathing.
She knew this affliction was hard for him, but she had never expected to be shunned to this degree. Him turning her away at the hospital wing last year was enough - but this far into their relationship?
His resolve was crumbling and she twisted her face in determination to remain sound instead of responding more emotionally to his shaking shoulders.
Then she heard it.
He was crying.
She sat right next to him, leaning her head on his shoulder as his trembling shook her. His tears were mostly silent, but his fear and shame had him sick.
"Don't cry." She said quietly. "We can manage this if you don't cut me out."
"M-manage!" He shouted, and it made her jump momentarily. She lifted her head and found his eyes, tears still streaming down his scarred cheeks and slight madness pulling from his soul. "I can either offer you premature death or a cursed life! How do you recommend we manage that, Emeline!"
"You aren't even allowing this to be my choice." She ventured softly, not breaking his stare. "This affects me. I get a say."
"That may be true," he forced out. "But no matter what you choose I could never infect my own daughter!"
"You don't have to."
His eyes darkened.
"Emeline Mara Lupin, what are you saying?"
"Professor Snape said I'll be able to sense out other wolves. It should be easy during a moon." She stood calmly, picking up the Wolfsbane and holding it precariously above the ground. "And there's nothing you can do to stop my decision, not if this is how you want to treat your only child who's now been handed the same ultimatum you were: life or death."
Remus stood and snatched the potion from her before she could drop it, eyeing her warily.
"Emeline, don't be cruel."
He felt the fire of her crushed soul in his own at the word and immediately regretted it.
"Cruel?" She scoffed. "What you're doing is cruel. Throwing my emotions to the waste side: that's cruel. I'm not cruel for my own decisions and being a werewolf isn't cruel, either. Your behavior is!"
"Not cruel! How could I allow this fate to befall my daughter?" He yelled. "The moon sinks out and every bone breaks! Recovery takes days, sometimes weeks. The pain is unbearable and the fear is maddening. It's shameful and disgusting and I could never willingly walk you to that life!"
"What of me, then? What if you die?" Her voice cracked at the words and Remus' heart broke. He had never felt this type of emotional pain before.
It felt all-consuming.
Is that what losing him felt like to her?
"Emeline," his voice came a level down in softness. "What do you want to do with your life?"
She stood shocked for a moment, unsuspecting of this shift in conversation.
Just days before, she had pictured such a lovely holiday, perhaps discussing this all with her father - loving his advice and anxious to see what he thought of her desires.
Hopeful to see if he thought she could achieve them.
She looked down at her bare feet and kicked at some stray hair.
"Well, I want to be a Healer." She looked up slowly, nervously awaiting his response.
"You can forget it."
She blinked rapidly in confusion with tears falling, opening and closing her mouth a few times in an attempt to find words.
"If you are like me," he enunciated every word hard, moving to stand right in front of her, the moon shining against his face. "You will never live out that dream. You will never be accepted for any position half as prestigious and fulfilling as that. How can a monster heal anybody?"
"This isn't you talking." She replied, tears falling as she backed up.
He followed her, watching intently.
"Then who?" He cocked an eyebrow. "My monster? We are the same!" He shouted, sending shivers down her spine. "Do you get it now? You cannot separate this torture! I am a monster, Emeline and I will not allow you to be!"
He felt sick.
The moon was partially taking over, but his all-encompassing fear and distress was also speaking.
He was terrified for his daughter.
Embarrassed, ashamed, hopeless.
An emotion came through that he wasn't expecting though, and it overtook the beast entirely, begging his rightful demeanor to come out.
But it was too late.
Betrayal.
"Werewolf or not, I could never treat my child so vile! How dare you tell me what I will or will not amount to, you've been nowhere near me until a year ago! I thought I knew you now!"
"Emeline." His heart was racing and his body shook as he snapped out of it.
"How you've spoken to me is monstrous," she finished. "And ironically, Moony is nowhere in sight. This was all you!"
"Pup." He begged, moving to grab her hand.
"Don't! Don't call me that, don't look at me!"
She ran for the door and it shut quickly with a wave of his hand.
"Let me go." She cried.
"Please, just listen." He pleaded, she shook his hand off her again.
"I don't want to hear another word! I'm leaving." She tore out her own wand and the door slammed open. "Don't try to die while I'm gone." She shot back, slamming the cellar behind her.
As she ran up the stairs, tears shrouding her vision, she hardly realized Sirius was in human form again and was listening at the door.
Though not always the physically affectionate type, he pulled on her sleeve kindly.
"I know where you can go for the night." He said quietly, and they disappeared with a small pop.
Author's Note: this chapter hurt so badly, but it would be uncharacteristic for Remus to take this in stride when his daughter's life/ wellbeing is at stake (because of him, so he feels). Where do you think Sirius is taking her?