Chapter 8

...

Neo watches Trinity as she sits in front of him, silently having her dinner.
He looks at her from time to time feigning to be intent in eating his own food, never meeting her eyes. Never.
Is she purposely avoiding looking up? Or is he really so good in watching her without being caught?
Trinity fills just the tip of her spoon and brings it to her mouth.
... Shit... that mouth!
What he feels for her is weird. It goes beyond the respect he dues for the Captain of the ship, beyond the gratitude for the woman who freed him from the Matrix (twice), beyond the attraction a man can feel for a gorgeous woman.
He's fully aware such a woman is out of reach for most of the men, and probably already taken.
He knows nothing about her. None seem authorized to tell him anything about her.
She's silent, like lost in deep thoughts most of the time. She rarely smiles, but he got to catch view of a few little times she did it and... geez, the way in which her blue eyes can bright... it took his breath away.
She's beautiful.
He can't tell why but she's fascinating. There's something in her he can't tell. She's like an enigma he'd pay to solve. Too tough, too smart, too brilliant, to cool... too beautiful.
She's polite, gentle to him, never been rude, but she's clearly keeping a little distance from him, like she's afraid of something. Or maybe she's not afraid (he wonders if such a woman can be afraid of something), just not interested in chatting with a man like him.

Well, he has to remind himself he's the One, but actually he still doesn't feel "the One", no matter how good he can be in the Matrix. He's the One who ended the war, but actually he doesn't feel like someone special at all.
And about her... he just heard she had an awful accident at the end of the war, that she barely made it alive. Nothing else.
Everyone lost someone in the war, most of all in the last attack from Machines... siblings, friends, relatives... but he lost everything and most of all, he lost himself.
Not having memories about himself and his previous life is extenuating. He'd like to be told of everything he did and made in the past, but it looks like the crew has different orders.
For not interfering with his memories they said. He'd like to have some. He has memories from the Matrix, if they can be count as memories, and he has dreams he can't tell if they're dreams or memories.
Maybe being back in Zion will help his mind to put together the pieces of his previous life.
His mind is still wrapped in fog, but it seems to clear up from time to time. He'd like to be able of remembering faces instead of just sensations. It's everything he has in the morning when he wakes up from a dream... sensations.

Trinity finished her water in a long sip, her bowl still full instead.
She's clearly tired today and definitely not hungry. Or too depleted even for eating.
Neo watches her as, again, she fills just the tip of her spoon and brings it to her mouth.

"Do you always eat like a bird?"

Trinity's eyes look up at Neo, locking with his and a little smile curls up one of the corners of her mouth.

"Well, actually none of us can tell how much a bird really eats"

Her tone is unexpectedly hilarious as she mocks him, and it triggers a smile from him in turn.

Here it is, the brightness of her blue eyes. It warms his heart and for a second it eclipses her tensed features. But it's just a second. Her smile turns from hilarious to awkward, like she somehow regrets the spontaneity of her own answer... she holds Neo's stare for another second before looking down. Her teeth bite her lower lip like she's pondering about saying something, but she just releases it and swallows instead.

They just keep eating their food, looking at each other from time to time when they think the other one isn't watching.

"Do you have a family?" Neo asks at one point, out of the blue "In Zion" He points out as Trinity looks up at him "...don't know... kids? Husband? I know Link has a wife waiting for him at home, and Vik has a daughter" he says nonchalantly.

Trinity just stares at him, her lips half open, her spoon midair.
Neo's dark eyes stare back at the blue of hers. For an instant Trinity's eyes pierce his, but she has to look down again escaping his stare.
He just wanted to have some conversation, but he doesn't need to know her well to understand he probably went too far asking about her personal life.

"Uhm, sorry, forget it, I didn't mean to-"

Trinity's blue eyes meet his once again, and she shakes her head.

"Uhm, no, don't worry," she says "I, uhm, had a boyfriend, he-" She stops.

What's she supposed to say? That her boyfriend is here in front of her but doesn't remember her? How pathetic!

"Had?"

Trinity swallows, turning the spoon in circles in the goop she won't be able of swallowing anymore.

"Uhm... we... we went on a mission... I came back... he didn't"

Neo's eyes stare at her.
Pretty dark eyes.
The same look he gave her when he handed her the phone receiver, immediately after Apoc and Switch's death. His 'you first' still sounds in her mind.

"I'm sorry" He says this time instead, and he really looks sorry for her, like he can feel her sorrow.

She nods, her lips pressed together.

"Is it the same mission you got hurt in?"

Another pause...

"...er... I think I heard it from someone," Neo adds like trying to justify himself this time, for knowing things about her that maybe he's not allowed to know.

Another nod comes from her.

"Yes," Trinity looks down again "I don't remember much of what happened. I woke up back in Zion, badly injured, but alive"

"And you regretted having survived"

She looks up, and bites her lower lip at Neo's words. Not a question this time, a statement.
She swallows a sudden lump in her throat.

"For a while I did"

Neo stares at her.

"You still love him?"

Trinity's lips open, but she doesn't answer and once again Neo gets he's probably gone too far. He's about apologizing, but her blue eyes are still lost in his and he feels like entranced, like everything else disappeared and there are just the two of them, looking into each other's eyes.

"Always"

Hers it's just a whisper but it resonated in the room with such a strength that he can feel the power imbued with that simple word.

...creak...

The sudden squeak of the metal door breaks their connection and they both turn their heads to the door where Kid's head has just peak out.

"Uhm, sorry, Captain," he stammers, intimidated by her like always "Vik needs help with the auxiliary generator,"

"Have you already asked Oak, or Ghost?"

"Yes, ma'am, they sent me to look for you"

Trinity inhales deeply, apparently pissed off, but holding back the hint of a smile. They always send Kid when it's a thorny matter. Poor guy!

"Yes, sure. Go, tell them I'm on my way"

She watches as the kid (name and fact) hurries to run away and she just turns to Neo. The little smile which she held back a second before now appears on her face.

"Sorry, I have to go" she just says.

"Bad side of being the one in charge in here" Neo smirks and she smirks in turn.

"Yeah, it looks so"

She shrugs.
She hates having to leave, but she really has to.

"May I come and help you?"

Their eyes meet again.
Neo knows nothing about mechanics, never known, how does he want to help her now?
Trinity looks at him somehow suspiciously. Does he remember something about the two of them?
...oh, c'mon Trin, don't overthinking!
He probably just doesn't want to stay alone, trying to force his brain in memories he can't catch.

"Sure" she just says with a nod, exiting the room as he follows her.

"Oak. What's up?"

Trinity's eyes dart from Oak to Vik and Ghost. Or better to Ghost's soles since it's the only part of him which sprout up from a mass of pipes.

"We totally lost power on the auxiliary generator, ma'am"

"What about the boiler pressure?"

Oak checks the manometer.

"0.2, Captain"

"Shit"

Neo watches Trinity as she checks in turn indicators, gauges and cranks. He has no idea what she's doing, but she looks focused instead.

"Is it a lost in the supply line?"

Trinity's eyes move toward Vik's voice.

"Or in the burner" Trinity says "Hardly to tell from here, we need to go down there and give a look"

Ghost glides on the floor, appearing from under the pipes.

"I think I found a little crevice, but I can't reach it. None of us is small enough to squeeze down there that far"

They all turn to look at Kid, but despite his thinness he's too inexperienced for mechanical restorations.
Oak is definitely a huge man (once again name and fact) and Vik is taller than most women use to be and has definitely a strong constitution.
It makes Trinity smiles to herself sometimes when she's near her, thinking she now knows how has to be for Niobe being standing up next to her.

"It looks like there's not another option then" Trinity says, taking of her sweater. She's the only one thin enough to have a chance to reach the crevice and skilled enough to be able to fix it up.

"Trinity, you shouldn't. You-"

Trinity's piercing blue eyes dart to Ghost's face.
He's the only one in the crew who looks like having a different kind of confidence with her, and somehow like he knows things the others ignore.

"Have you got a better idea?"

Trinity eyebrows lift and she gives Ghost a serious look.

"If we call Zion for help, they'll need at least one week to reach us. We can reduce at minimum the ship energy, but it will mean no heater. I'm not going to freeze my ass in here without a try"

They stare at each other and Ghost is clearly biting his own thong in order not to argue with her.

Neo looks at the two of them. Is it just respect for his ranking officer? Actually he suspects there's much more. And he doesn't like it. It's a new feeling for him, but it's clear... it burns into his stomach and up to his throat. Is this what it's called jealousy?

"Trin, even if you go down there, you'll have no space enough to move, even least to work"

Neo's eyes move from Ghost to Trinity again.
...Trin? He never heard someone using a pet name with her...
And yes, what he feels in the back of his throat is definitely jealousy.

Trinity's arms cross in front of her chest.

"Let's hear. What do you suggest then?"

"Disassemble the piping to have a better access"

A laugh burst from Trinity's mouth this time.

"Oh c'mon, we'll need a week just to put the pieces back together then!"

Ghost rolls his eyes at her. She's taking off even her long-sleeve shirt now, so it looks like her decision has been taken.

"Kid?"

The boy hands out to his Captain a tool belt, and she just take it, not fastening it around her waist.
If she catches sight of how Neo is staring at her, mesmerized by her toned shoulders and naked cleavage, she doesn't show.

"Fine, but I'm coming with you. I can't go down that far as you can but I can help"

"No,"

They all turn to Neo as his 'no' sounds in the room. Ghost's serious eyes meet Trinity's and she stares back at him, then from him to Neo again.

"I'm going with her. You need to be here" Neo says, his tone so resolute that for an instant it reminds Trinity to his resolution about the mission for freeing Morpheus from the agents. The mission that made of him the One.

Her eyes moves again from Ghost to Neo and then back to Ghost.

"Neo's right. I need you here" she says "Let's put thing this way," she mocks Ghost "if I get trapped down there and none of you can take me out from there, you're definitely in charge"

She's making fun of him despite her serious tone and Ghost rolls his eyes, holding back a smile at the affectionate way in which Trinity touches his arm.

"Take your ass back here, Captain. As soon as possible"

"So... well... you and Ghost..."

Trinity doesn't turn to Neo this time, trying to move under pipes without being stuck needs all her concentration.

"I and Ghost...what?"

Trinity asks as a moan escapes from her throat together with her voice. Moving would be easier if her own body wasn't so sore.

"Oh, nothing..." he says, unable to contain his curiosity though "I just think he likes you"

Neo can see a smile on Trinity's face this time and she somehow tries to turn her head to meet his eyes, succeeding just partially.
...what is it? Jealousy? The bare thought triggers something in her stomach. She already had this conversation with Neo, months earlier, in Zion. If just he could remember!

"Not what you're thinking about"

She just says, somehow wondering if telling him more or not. He notices it.

"It's frustrating!" Neo loses it this time , than giving her an apologizing look. He knows it's supposed to be for good, but it's frustrating anyway. He's beginning thinking that having distorted memories is better that having none.

"He's my brother" Trinity says this time as Neo's jaw hangs open.

"Really?"

"Yes. Freed on the same day. We grew up together, like siblings"

"Oh well," if it would have been space enough he would have awkwardly run a hand in his hair (well, if he had hair also) "...uhm, it explains his, er, caring attitude then"

A little smile plays on Trinity's lips and her eyes light up affectionately this time.

"Er, yes. And why he beats the shit out of me sometimes either. Siblings things" She adds with a smirks.

"Honestly, I can't imagine someone beating shit out of you" Neo says somehow half way between curiosity and horror.

Another smirk comes from Trinity.

"Don't worry, there's been times I beat his ass so hard he couldn't sit for days. But he'd give his life to save mine. It's how siblings work"

Neo just look at her. Trinity's features somehow relax when she talks about Ghost. He would like to push away this so called jealousy which still feels his stomach.
They just stare at each other, till she bites on her lower lip and goes back to work.

"Did I ever watch the two of you fighting?" He asks as Trinity doesn't turn to him this time, focus on her own fingers.

"Training?" She specifies still not turning to him "er... yes"

He gives a nod that she can't see.

"Did I use to train with you either?"

Trinity's hand stops for a fraction of second.

"Yes"

Silence impregnates the space around them. Awkward. Tense.

"You think I'll be able to remember something?" Neo asks after a good ten minutes of silent working.
Trinity's hand stops and she turns her head to look at him this time.

"I hope so"

He nods. Stupid question.

"I have dreams. They feel real sometimes. How can I know if they're memories or just dreams if none can help me distinguish between fantasy and reality?"

Trinity's hand stops again. Neo's sorrow turning in hers in a sort of real pain, like a pang in her stomach. It triggers a wave of nausea she has to focus to keep back. What if she was wrong? She's practically torturing him avoiding everyone from talking to him about his past.

"Hey, you ok?"

Trinity inhales deeply and nods, but Neo doesn't miss the way in which her free hand massages her left side.

"Trinity?"

Her eyes open as she realizes just then of having close them. She just swallows at the worrying in Neo's voice.

"Yes. I'm fine"

He doesn't seem convinced by her words, but he doesn't ask anything else.

"What's in your dreams?" She asks instead, doing her best to going back to work too.

"I don't know, most of the times, but I had a clear one last night,"

Trinity eyes him, silently inciting him to go on.

"A long-haired beautiful woman in a white latex dress. I kissed her,"

"Shit!"

A fraction of second of distraction and a dark red line appears on the white skin of Trinity's forearm. Another 'shit!' echoes in the silence as she looks at the sharp piece of metal which has just entered her flesh.

"Shit, you're hurt!"

Trinity's blue eyes meet Neo's just for a second, then focusing in carefully inspecting her wound.
It's probably going to need stitches, and yet it doesn't hurt how much her heart hurts right now.

"It's nothing serious, uhm, pass me that rag, please. The clean one" she points out.

Neo looks at her as she wraps and tightens the rug around her arm stopping the bleeding, despite the way in which the gray rag turns red, soaked by her blood.

"Persephone," Trinity says as Neo gives her a questioning look "it's the woman in your dream"

Neo seems to come back to reality and he repeats that name, like waiting for more memories to come. They don't.

"Was, er, is she- ?" Neo hesitates like searching the right words "were we in a... er... sexual relationship?"

He says at last.

Trinity stares at him for a couple of seconds.

"Not as far as I know" she just says. She tries to sound nonchalant, but her look is serious and her tone firm. If Neo heard her upsetting he doesn't show it, still focused on that memory.

He shakes his head.

"So it's real then"

He whispers more to himself than as a confirmation.

"More or less," she says "The memory is. But she's actually a program. Too beautiful to be real, right?"
She adds, trying to sound amused this time.

Neo stares at her. Yes, this Persephone is definitely a beautiful woman, but, it looks like he has a completely different standard of beauty actually. Well, not something he can share with the Captain now though.

"It was the Matrix, then"

"Uhm, a parallel program actually, but yes, you were plugged in"

Neo nods, like lost in thoughts, and Trinity goes back to work. She'd just like it would be easier to focus.

Persephone. Of all they went through, all he can remember is... Persephone.

Minutes go on. Silent minutes.

"Uhm, can you pass me a smaller wrench, please"

They're both lying on the metal floor, belly up, stuck under a large mass of pipes, so that Neo has to crawl to get out of there.
Fixing that damaged pipe it's being harder that it seemed, and Trinity's now trying to focus in succeeding in loosening a rusty gear.

"Here"

Neo crawls to Trinity's side again and hands her the tool.
He looks at her hands. Skilled and fast, unconcerned of the oil blackening her skin.
Yeah, he definitely seems to have a different standard of beauty.

"Neo. I need more lube"

Neo reaches out for the can. It's slimy and it slips from his hand, rolling out of his reach so that he has to extend his arm to his utmost in order to grab it.

"C'mon you son of a bitch!"

Trinity swears and Neo stops for a moment, his hand pauses midair, the can in his grip. His eyes meet Trinity's.
Her tense features meet his deep dark eyes like she can read his mind.

"The bolt" Trinity pointed out, and she can't help but letting out a giggle at Neo's look.

A little smile plays on Neo's lips. And he realizes in that moment that he never heard her giggling, as long as he rarely sees her smiling, except for a little curling up of her lips from time to time. She's definitely gorgeous when she smiles, and it lights up her eyes making them somehow even bluer.

"You should do it more often."

Neo says, his eyes in the piercing blue of hers.
Trinity's eyebrows furrow. Amused questioning eyes stare at him.

"What?"

"Smiling"

Trinity doesn't answer, but just shakes her head, not hiding another smile. And Neo gets it. In that exact moment he gets it. She can have him just with a smile.

"Here. Done."

"Is it going to hold on till our return to Zion?

She shrugs.

"If not, I hope it will be enough for a hot shower tonight, I definitely need it."

Another smile which triggers another similar one on Neo's face.
Trinity runs s hand on her sweaty forehead moving a lock from her eyes.

"Better for us to move out of here" she says.

They both slither on the floor. Neo frees himself first, then helping Trinity to get out in turn. He stretches out a hand for her, helping her to stand up.
She sways as soon as she's on her feet and Neo's hands are fast, steadying her.

"Sorry," she giggles once more, looking up at him "numb feet"

"Yeah, I can tell" he gives her a smile still holding her, not relaxing his grip around her wrists.

It reminds her of the time he saved her from the helicopter collision, and once again they stare at each other. Dark eyes in blue eyes.

"You better have that wound checked," he says, not looking away from her eyes.

He can't explain what he feels at the contact with her skin, having her so close to him. Her touch feels somehow known. Her scent so familiar.

"Uhm, yes," she says looking down at her own forearm, and at the rug still wrapped around it, soaked with her own blood "You better have that hot shower instead, till the fixing holds on. You own it"

Trinity smiles and takes a step back, turning to have her way to the infirmary.

Neo watches her as she walks away and he knows he should walk away in the opposite direction, toward the showers, but his feet feel glued to the floor, his eyes unable to look somewhere else than to her.
She stops before turning the corner. She stops and turns to him again, meeting his eyes as a minuscule gorgeous smile plays on her face.

And it's like reliving a deja-vu.